The other day, me and my friend were talking about dark rides at theme parks, and that made me think - what if there was a Cosgrove Hall-themed dark ride? Well, here's a concept I came up with! (NOTE: Not to scale) Unfortunately, I haven't drawn what is in the description, but you can probably picture that in your head.
This is "The Wonderful World of Cosgrove Hall" at Thorpe Park. Once you enter through the brightly coloured exterior, you make your way through a maze of corridors, lit by chevrons pointing towards the ride station. The ride station (marked in blue) is themed to an abandoned TV repair shop.
Once in your purple and yellow boats, you drift along the river and through a giant TV set (marked in orange), its screen smashed open to allow your boat to enter. Also in this bit is a smoke machine and giant wires and lights.
As you come out of the TV set, you find yourself in Danger Mouse's Baker Street (marked in yellow), where Danger Mouse is attempting to save Penfold from being eaten by an alligator poking its head out of a manhole. Baron von Greenback is watching from behind a lamppost and stroking Nero, as Stiletto munches popcorn. You then approach a red postbox, and the curb stone lifts up, taking you to...
...the countryside (marked in dark blue), where the four friends Mole, Ratty, Mr. Toad and Badger are having a picnic. Alfred is waiting nearby with the caravan, muttering to himself. Mr. Toad also pops open a bottle of champagne, which sprays all over you. At the end of the wood is the entrance to...
...Castle Duckula (marked in snake green). Down in the cellar, the moon is in the 8th House of Aquarius, which means that Igor and Nanny are reincarnating Count Duckula. Unfortunately, Nanny accidentally uses ketchup instead of blood, resulting in...
...a vegetarian Count Duckula emerging from his coffin (marked in pink), doing a showbiz pose. As your boat rounds a corner, it goes under an arch made of building blocks (marked in dark turquoise), taking you to...
...Toyland (marked in red), where Noddy and his friends are busy down in Toytown. PC Plod is looking for Sly and Gobbo (who are hiding somewhere in this section) while taking down notes in his notebook, Martha Monkey is wearing Miss Pink Cat's tail as a scarf much to Miss Pink Cat's chagrin, Dinah Doll is serving Clockwork Mouse at her stall, and Noddy is driving Big Ears and Tessie Bear in his red and yellow car.
Down in Oakie Hollows (marked in green), Oakie Doke is sliding down his slide as some of his friends watch on. Nearby, Manny Mole is holding a camera, and he takes your on-ride picture with it.
In the Lourveatory Museum (marked in purple), one of the Bunglers in Crime, Victor, is attempting to steal the world famous Mona Pizza painting, Mission Impossible style (by which I mean dangling horizontally from two cables that Hugo is holding), though due to Hugo being Hugo, the cables break, leaving him hanging helplessly.
On the meanest streets of Big City (marked in grey), the Avenger Penguins are engaged in a motorcycle chase with the Stink Brothers, while Dr. Caratacus P. Doom and Harry Slime are hitching an unwelcome ride on Cecil Stink and Barracuda Stink's bikes.
Going under a motorway bridge, the city theme continues as you find yourself in Metrocity (marked in light green), where Fantomcat is sword-fighting Vile the Bluebottle who, along with Vinnie the Vole, has just robbed the Diamonds Aren't Forever jewellery store. The rest of the Wildcat Detective Agency (Tabs, MacDuff and Lindbergh) are occupied with tying up Vinnie the Vole. At the end of this section is Marmagora, holding a painting concealing a portal to a parallel universe not far from here.
Once through the portal (achieved with a hologram, you find yourself going up a lift hill (marked in black), where an old half-timbered spaceship known as the Paradox is flying towards Lavender Castle. As your boat reaches the top of the lift hill, it then zooms down through the entrance of Lavender Castle, taking you to the Grand Finale (marked in maroon).
Here, all of the animatronic characters seen throughout the ride have gotten together and are performing a bombastic version of the It's a Small World-esque song that's been playing in different styles throughout the ride (which you can hear in this video).
After going through that section, you go past a firework-lit skyline of London at night (marked in brown), with Sophie setting off the fireworks with a big cartoon plunger, and The BFG holding a sign saying "We Hopes You Come Again Soon!" and waving goodbye as you re-enter the abandoned TV repair shop, where you get out of your boat and exit through the same corridors.