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The End Is Near is a 2017 American disaster horror-comedy film and sequel to Horror War. It stars celebrites as themselves.

Please comment below to share opinions about the movie. Is this Canon or Non-Canon.

Summary

A young actor and his friends face an apocalypse while they were attending Kevin Bacon's party.

Plot

The film begins with Christopher Mintz-Plasse picking up Michael Cera from the airport and invites him to Kevin Bacon's party. But Michael at first refuses to go because Bacon doesn't even know his name, he has a rivalry with Dane DeHaan, and he can't stand Leonardo DiCaprio. However, he finds out that his friends, Jonah Hill, Tom Welling, Johnny Deep, and other nice actors, are at the party and so he will go there for Christopher Mintz-Plasse.

When they arrive, Kevin Bacon welcomes them but accidentally calls Michael, Mickey, until Michael corrects him. Michael has a little fun teasing Tom Welling about the nickname Smallville while also having a conversation with Drake Bell, Josh Peck, Brian Geraghty, Jerry Trainor, Drew Seeley, and Alice Eve about some of Josh's movies before Michael reunites with Jonah Hill but it's short lived when Dane decides to selfishly throw a football at the table, much to his amusement. After Michael gets a kiss on the cheek from his girlfriend Emma Watson, then they see Brie Larson, who reveals that Leonardo DiCaprio got invited but he is slapped by Rihanna for spanking her. Michael decides to hang out with Jonah Hill and Mila Kunis. Michael somehow starts feeling uncomfortable around people he barely knows and gets upset when Leo blows coacaine in Peter DeLuise's face. Johnny Depp asks him if he can buy everyone some drinks and Michael says yes. He first goes to the bathroom but comes out disgusted and muttering about Leonardo DiCaprio and two girls.

He goes to Walmart to get the drinks and takes Chris with him. They are really annoyed by Uncle Barkus ((No relation) Gary Anthony Williams), who refuses to let visitors use the bathroom. As they are about to pay for the drinks and snacks, a earthquake suddenly erupts and people are sucked into Heaven. Barkus freaks out and is crushed to death by a falling ceiling. They run outside and see the store blow up.

They all run to Kevin Bacon's house and Michael tries to warn everybody but they all (except Jonah Hill and Tom Welling) don't believe him. But however, the earthquake erupts again and everyone runs outside. They see Hollywood hills on fire. Leonardo DiCaprio is too drugged to be worried about the earthquake and wants to know who took his cellphone until Johnny Depp is impaled by a falling street light and it's revealed that he accidentally took Leo's phone. He is dragged into a giant crater and killed. Rihanna, Brie Larson, Emma Roberts, Leonardo DiCaprio, Brian Geraghty, Jerry Trainor, Alice Eve, Nicolas D'Agosto (who just ran here with a bottle in his hands), Peter DeLuise, Channing Tatum, Casper Van Dien, Josh Peck, Emma Watson, Drake Bell, Tom Welling, and Michael (who was pushed in by Dane) fall into the pit and they all (except Michael and Tom) are killed. Michael tries to help Tom but fails and Tom is killed.

Michael comes out of the hole and is upset that he failed to save Tom. He goes into the house and is taken care of by Jonah and Chris, they are all mad at Dane for pushing Michael in there but Dane lies and says, "It was an accident". But Michael is still mad at him and refuses to forgive him. They all watch the news and reveal that they must stay in their homes at all cost. At first, they see a helicopter and think they are safe but the helicopter crashes and it's wing flies into the house, scracthing Jonah's hand. Jonah's hand is bandaged by Michael and is choosing to live with Michael and Chris in the basement. They all want to share a room because they are scared of what's happening outside. They all make list of supplies and go to their rooms. Michael, Jonah, and Chris decide to stick together and be friends just like they were in Superbad.

The next morning, Jack Black is revealed to be alive and was sleeping in the bathtub this whole time. He goes downstairs and makes breakfast. The guys wake up and are surprised to see him alive. They try to tell him everything but he doesn't believe them and thinks they're on drugs. They find Michael Bacon trying to get in but Bacon doesn't let him in. He is decapitated by a demon and Jack now believes them. They go upstairs and to find out what killed him. Only to see that L.A. is destroyed and every actor is dead.

They make confessionals like on Total Drama, Kevin Bacon confesses that he didn't invite Jack Black to the party and is upset that their stuck with him until Jack comes in and secretly heard everything. Dane confesses that he did push Michael on purpose because he wants to get rid of him and survive without him. Michael confesses that he thinks it's the Apocalypse. Chris confesses that he only invited Michael so he can make friends with other actors. Jonah confesses that he wants to be forgiven for freaking out on a Superbad interview. Jack confesses that he wants to make Kevin Bacon pay for not inviting him to the party.

They all pass time taking flashback pills and making a sequel to Superbad. Until they are interrupted by Mila Kunis (who survived the earthquake). She said that it might be a zombie apocalypse (or she only ran into cannibals). They give her a room to stay in but due to a misunderstanding, she takes their axe and hits Dane in the nose with a guitar, much to Michael's amusement, she tells them to give her everything that they have to drink and cuts a piece of art to prove that she is not messing around, so Michael gives her the drinks and she leaves. However, she encounters a demon and begs to be let in but Michael and Chris are too late to save her and Michael comforts Chris over not saving her.

Jack confesses that it's Dane's fault that Mila robbed them because Dane suggested that they sexually harass her but they refuse to because she is their guest. Michael confesses that he thought it was funny that Dane got hit in the nose by a girl and thanks Mila for that but still mourns for her apparent death. Kevin Bacon confesses that he thinks Dane is becoming the bad boy of the house and no wonder Michael hates Dane. Chris confesses that he was mad at Dane for getting them robbed. Jonah confesses that they should get rid of Dane. Dane confesses that he wanted them to blame Michael for trying to cost the situation but is upset that his plan didn't work.

Everyone decides to search the basement and they volunteer Jonah to go out there. When he starts searching outside, they accidentally drop the rope because of a rope burn. Jonah finds the outside door but it's locked and guarded by a demon, which Jonah runs away from. He goes inside but the demon catches the rope. While they hold onto Jonah and prepare to cut the rope, Dane just carelessly throws the knife at Michael's left leg but the knife is taken out of the leg and they use it to cut the rope. After giving Michael some first aid kit, Jack knocks the floor and they decide to take turns digging a hole in the floor. But Kevin is frustrated that Jack messed with his magazine. Jack decides to quit but Michael helps him and they fall in the basement. They find out it's filled with posters of the films they have been in and are scared when they think they have found a demon but realize it's a cardboard cutout of Dane as the Hob Goblin. They finally found food and water. They share it and make dinner out of a shark and cook Spaghetti. But Jack accidentally drinks all of their water and tries to apologize. All of them (except Kevin Bacon) forgives him. They make a group meeting without Jack, Kevin Bacon thinks they should get rid of him because he wasted their food and water but they refuse. But Kevin Bacon, unknown to the others, breaks his promise to keep Jack and kicks him out of the house. As Jack leaves, Michael tells him not to. But Jack says he was nothing but trouble, but Michael will miss him and they make a group hug. Jack flips off Kevin Bacon and leaves. Dane is revealed to be happy that Jack is gone but only to be punched by an angry Michael, causing a massive nosebleed. Jonah and Chris calm him down.

At night, Dane prays for Satan (Al Pacino) to kill Michael. Dane is confronted by Satan and allows the devil to bite him with Vampire teeth.

Dane confesses that he is excited that he is finally going to kill Michael. Michael confesses that him and Jonah are planning on going to Michael's house to get food and water. Chris confesses that he wishes them luck. Jonah confesses that he promised Chris to keep Michael safe from the demons. Kevin Bacon confesses that he started drinking his own pee to survive.

As Michael and Jonah leave, they give Chris their copy of the Superbad DVD to remember each other. Dane is in his room watching them leave and think the deal is working. At Michael's house, they talk about how Michael should get along with them because they are humanity's only hope but they are interrupted by a bull-like demon. At Kevin Bacon's house, Dane gets sick and Chris and Kevin think he is suffering a disease but he wakes up possessed and turned into a vampire. He tells them that him and Satan made a deal to kill Michael Cera and rule Earth. They fight him and give time for Michael and Jonah to get supplies. At Michael's house, they use bullfighting to get rid of the monster and get back to the house. But sees the others getting assaulted by Dane. Dane tries to kill Michael but gets knocked out by Jonah. They all trap him in the basement and confess their sins upstairs. Michael gives them a idea he calls The Exorcism of Dane DeHaan. He tries to the demon out of him but is stopped by Kevin Bacon, who thinks the idea is bad but ends up accidentally reveals that he kicked Jack out of the house. They all get angry at him and Michael gets in a fight with him but only to find out that Kevin Bacon had other food down there the whole time. They hear a knock at the door, a ROTC cadet wants to give away cookie dough but Michael already finds out it's Dane in disguise. Michael says that he knows it's him because it's too dangerous for a ROTC cadet to be selling cookie dough in the Apocalypse. Dane sees Kevin run in the panic room and tries to get him but his right arm is cut off by the door and he says in frustration, "Holy s**t. Hey, you took my arm!" He fights Michael to the death but Michael grabs a cross and quickly kills Dane with it. Dane's last words are, "F**k you Mikey, f**k you". Dane's body is burned alive by a fire in Bacon's house and they go outside. Michael says, "Happy trails Dane".

They find out that Michael's DeLorean is safe and working. Michael gets his car keys and starts it but they confront a giant bird-like demon. Jonah wants to fight it because he is going to sacrifice himself to save them and get over his fear of scary birds. He distracts it while the others get in the car. Jonah and the demon fight until Jonah is raptured and the demon is killed by the beam. Jonah says, "F**K yeah, hey guys, see you on the other side". The guys then drive off and see Jonah go to Heaven.

On their way to Washington D.C., they realize that they can be saved by getting sucked up into Heaven. They try being nice to each other in order to get raptured but it doesn't work because they have to sacrifice themselves to save others. However, their journey to Washington is cancelled when the car is hit by a armored van-like camper driven by cannibals. They are captured and forced to meet their leader. The leader is revealed to be Jack Black and his human pet with the Nacho Libre mask is Ray Park, who is called Chop-Top. Jack reveals that he is afraid that him and his group are going to eat them (he doesn't care about Kevin Bacon though). While Jack shows them that he has Ray trained good, Kevin Bacon decides to stay there and fight the cannibals and hopes this is could be a ending to Superbad 2. Chris reminds Jack that their friends and he can't eat them but Jack ignores them. When Jack says, "Let's eat!", Kevin fights Jack and the cannibal cult until he is raptured. However, due to mocking Jack, his beam vanishes and is eaten alive by Jack and the cannibals after Jack says, "You don't get to be sucked up into Heaven because you were being Tom Petty, you may have not invited me to your party but you're the guest of honor at mine.", as Michael and Chris groan at his death. Jack says, "Michael, Chris.", Michael and Chris realize their coming after them and run for their lives until they hide in a cave and the cannibals leave. They also realize that Kevin Bacon wasn't raptured because he was rude and selfish. But their conversation is interrupted by a giant Satan and Michael says, "You got to be f**king s**ting me." As Satan is about to kill them, Michael confesses his sins to Chris and God. Chris forgives him and the two share a hug before they die. Satan tries to kill them but Michael is raptured and tries to take Chris with him. However, Satan sees them but can't touch the beam is a force-field but it's going down. Chris thinks it's because he probably doesn't deserve to go to Heaven and only Michael does, he doesn't want to hold him back anymore. Chris lets go but however, he is raptured to and his beam kills Satan. The two friends hold hands and get excited about their way into Heaven.

In Heaven, they are reunited with Jonah and he says, "Welcome to Heaven, you crazy vigilante motherf****rs." They are happy that Jonah is an angel and Jonah turns them into angels as thanks for their nice comments. Then when they enter through the gates, they are reunited with the other actors, including Tom. They realize that they can think of anything they can wish for. Chris has Mila, Jack, and the former cannibal cult into Heaven and turns the cannibals into vegetarians. Michael wishes for One Direction to play their song, What Makes You Beautiful., and everyone dances to the song. They all say, "Best Superbad sequel!" The end credits play Carry On by Avenged Sevenfold.

The Mid-credits show Satan, Adolf Hitler (Randall Park), Dane Dehaan, and Kevin Bacon smoking cigars and playing poker in Hell. After that, the credits continue and it plays, Paint It Black.

Cast

  • Michael Cera - The Main Protagonist of the film. Best known for Superbad, Sausage Party, Scott Pilgrim, and Total Drama World Tour. Clothing: Blue t-shirt, green hooded jacket, tan pants, and blue sneakers.
  • Christopher Mintz-Plasse - The Secondary Protagonist of the film and Michael's best friend. Best known for Knocked Up, Superbad, Pineapple Express, Observe and Report, and The Far Cry Experience. He wears his clothes from the Far Cry Experience but also has a varsity jacket on.
  • Al Pacino as Satan - The Main Antagonist of the film and leader of the demons. Best known for Scarface and The Devil's Advocate.
  • Jack Black - The Main Tritagonist and temporarily Secondary Antagonist of the film and the leader of cannibals. Best known for Orange County, Pineapple Express, Tropic Thunder, Kung Fu Panda, Observe and Report, and The Jungle Book.
  • Dane Dehaan - The Tertiary Antagonist of the film and Michael's rival. Best known for Spider-Man 5. He was a complete jerk to Michael. Clothing: Red tank top, red buttoned up shirt, brown jacket, and brown pants.
  • Kevin Bacon - The True Secondary Antagonist of the film and Jack's rival. Best known for Friday The 13th and other films. He is a selfish jerk in the movie and responsible for turning Jack into a cannibal.
  • Jonah Hill - The Deuteragonist of the film. Best known for Superbad, Pineapple Express, Total Drama Island, Django Unchained, 21 Jump Street, The Wolf of Wall Street, The Lego Movie, and Sausage Party.
  • Mila Kunis - The Temporarily Quarternary Antagonist of the film. Best known for Total Drama Island.
  • Johnny Depp - Party guest. Best known for Sleepy Hollow, 21 Jump Street, and Tim Burton's Batman.
  • Rihanna - Party guest. Best known for Home.
  • Brie Larson - Party guest. Best known for 21 Jump Street.
  • Emma Roberts - A party guest. Best known for The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
  • Leonardo DiCaprio - Drug addict. Best known for Django Unchained and The Wolf of Wall Street.
  • Brian Geraghty - Party guest. Best known for The Falcon and ATM.
  • Jerry Trainor - Party guest. Best known for Drake and Josh and ICarly.
  • Drew Seeley - Party guest. Best known for The Helper.
  • Alice Eve - Brian's girlfriend. Best known for ATM.
  • Peter DeLuise - Johnny's best friend. Best known for 21 Jump Street.
  • Channing Tatum - Jonah's best-friend. Best known for 21 Jump Street, The Helper, and The Lego Movie.
  • Casper Van Dien - Party guest. Best known for Starship Troopers and Sleepy Hollow.
  • Kevin Hart - Leo's friend. Best known for Scary Movie 3 and Epic Movie.
  • Josh Peck - Brian and Drake's best friend. Best known for Ned's Declassfied School Survival Movie, Mean Creek, Drake and Josh, Sleepaway Camp: Reunion, ATM, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
  • Emma Watson - Michael's girl-friend. Best known for the Harry Potter movies.
  • Drake Bell - Brian and Josh's best friend. Best known for Drake and Josh, Marvel Superhero Squad, and Five Nights At Freddy's 3.
  • Tom Welling - One of Michael's friends. Best known for Small Ville and Cheaper by the Dozen.
  • Ray Park - Member of the cannibals and Kevin's neighbor. Best known for Sleepy Hollow, Star Wars The Phantom Menace, and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
  • David Spade (Uncredited) as Helicopter Pilot - Gets killed in crash. Best known for Emperor's New Groove and Rules Of Engagement.
  • Michael Bacon - Bacon's older brother that gets killed.
  • Dave Franco - A member of Jack Black's cannibal cult.
  • James Franco - Older brother of Dave Franco and member of Jack Black's cannibal cult.
  • Zac Efron - A member of Jack Black's cannibal cult.
  • One Direction.
  • Randall Park as Adolf Hitler - Nazi dictator seen in Hell.

Credited Cameos

Jay Baruchel, Seth Rogen, Michael Pena, Clarke Duke, Craig Robinson, Kristen Kreuk, Anna Faris, Samuel L. Jackson, and Mary Elizabeth Winstead are seen in Heaven.

Transcript

The End Is Near (transcript)

Deaths

  • Uncle Barkus (no relation) - Crushed to death by a falling ceiling.
  • Johnny Depp - Impaled by falling street light and dragged into the giant crater. Seen in Heaven.
  • Rihanna - Falls into the giant crater. Seen in Heaven.
  • Brie Larson - Falls into the giant crater. Seen in Heaven.
  • Emma Roberts - Pushed into the hole by Leonardo DiCaprio. Seen in Heaven.
  • Leonardo DiCaprio - He lost balance and fell into the hole. Possibly sent to Hell for drug behavior, abusing his friends, and pushing someone in the hole.
  • Brian Geraghty, Jerry Trainor, Drew Seeley, Alice Eve, and Brie Larson - All fell into the hole when it get's bigger. Seen in Heaven.
  • Nicolas D'Agosto - He tired running away but went rolling down the pit and falls into it. Seen in Heaven.
  • Peter DeLuise - He tried to hanged on but fell off due to dust falling on him. Seen in Heaven.
  • Channing Tatum - He tried to hanged on but a rock hit him and he fell off. Seen in Heaven.
  • Casper Van Dien - Accidentally kicked into the giant crater by Kevin Hart. Seen in Heaven.
  • Kevin Hart - He tries to take Casper's hand off him but fell off the edge. Seen in Heaven.
  • Josh Peck - Falls into the giant crater. Seen in Heaven.
  • Emma Watson - Falls into the giant crater. Seen in Heaven.
  • Drake Bell - Falls into the giant crater. Seen in Heaven.
  • Tom Welling - Michael Cera tried to save him but Tom was too heavy and older then Michael so Tom fell off. Seen in Heaven.
  • Pilot - Helicopter crash.
  • Michael Bacon - Decapitated by demon.
  • Mila Kunis - Dragged out by demon. Resurrected in Heaven.
  • Dane DeHaan - Possessed by demon and later stabbed with a cross by Michael Cera. He was possibly sent to Hell for trying to kill Michael.
  • Jonah Hill - Raptured into Heaven.
  • Kevin Bacon - Eaten Alive by Jack Black, Ray Park, and a cannibal cult. Also possibly sent to Hell for being a jerk.
  • Michael Cera - Raptured into Heaven for confessing his sins and sacrificing his life to save Chris.
  • Christopher Mintz-Plasse - Raptured into Heaven for sacrificing his life to get Michael into Heaven.
  • Satan - Stabbed in the eye by a rapture beam and turned into ash after being burned alive by the sun. Human form is also disintegrated.
  • Jack Black and his cult - Raptured into Heaven by Chris and then turned into vegetarians.

Trivia

  • Rated R for drugs, bloody violence and language.

T.V. Tropes

  • Abusive Parent: Although he doesn't show it, Kevin Bacon is probably this to his family but doesn't seem to be that much of a jerk towards them.
  • Adaptational Heroism: Unlike This Is The End's version of Danny McBride, Jack Black is actually tragic and sympathetic towards the protagonists. Even Danny McBride himself pointed out that guy is much more nicer than him.
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