TBS (Canada)/Idents and promos transcripts

Here's the idents on TBS (Canada)

• The logo, already formed, spins around, the blocks in turn spinning before setting back into place.
• Hundreds of little blocks fly in from the top right of the screen. The camera pans across as they go off the bottom left and sets in the middle, where the blocks form the logo.
• The blocks spin onto the screen from various places, setting and forming the logo in the center. This variant of the logo usually played in reverse when the channel closed down for the night.
• The logo, already formed, breaks apart into hundreds of blocks that fly off the bottom left screen. They reappear from the top right and set back to reform the logo.
• These logos also had unique variations for certain programs, such as American football (the blocks forming an American football player wearing a helmet) and Football Qatar (a football strikes the formed logo, turning it into the colours of the Qatar flag).
• Gosalyn's Logo writing
  • (Gosalyn is writing on the paper at her bedroom)
  • Gosalyn: (humming)
  • (The camera focuses on Gosalyn's paper and her hand with a crayon)
  • Gosalyn: First the letter "T", the letter B's, and the letter "S".
  • (The camera goes back to Gosalyn)
  • Gosalyn: Done! (sees the viewers) Now that's a great writing that I made!
  • (The camera focuses again on Gosalyn's paper with a drawing version of the TBS logo)
  • Gosalyn: (in the off-screen) You're watching TBS! (giggles)
• We see live-action places. Suddenly, they blur, and four circles come towards the screen. They are arranged in various ways.
• We see a moving background, mostly a bunch of rectangles moving right. Then, one of them make a square with the number "TBS" logo inside it.
• Tralfagar Square: We see some pigeons flying onto and walking on a large TBS logo on a plinth. The logo then squeezes itself and retracts, causing some of the pigeons to either fly away or die (not visibly).
• Bowls: We see a group of people playing lawn bowls outside as hedges in the shape of the TBS logo parts fly around. Most of them don't notice, but one elderly lady on a bench turns around to see the sights in front of her. The TBS logo is briefly made out of the shadows of the levitating hedges.
• Rollercoaster: The TBS logo is briefly formed during a first-person rollercoaster ride.
• Diner: The TBS logo is briefly formed during a panning of a diner/motel.
• Alien: A woman and a man donning a cowboy hat are stuck worried in a car as mysterious metal objects fly around them and form the TBS logo twice.
• 3D Week: We pan across a junkyard to see a forklift grabbing some broken cars. A stack of junk and the forklift itself briefly form the TBS logo.
• Homer: We see Homer Simpson put a pack of Duff beer on his hammock, but the force created by him initially lying on it causes the cans to fly up onto the electrical lines. He screams and falls off the hammock, and climbs up a tree to try and retrieve the cans. Because of the cans being aluminum and connected to the electricity, every time he tries to grab them he gets electrocuted. Night falls, and he tries one last time to get the cans. The shock causes one of them to open, and he tries drinking the can and gets electrocuted at the same time. We pan out from the Simpsons' backyard to reveal that Homer has unwittingly caused Springfield to gain a power outage that briefly flashes and forms the TBS logo.
• April Fools Day: On April Fools Day 2011, versions of these would be shown on the day where everything on screen that would make up the TBS logo is non-existent, turning the normal idents into plain old panoramic shots.
• It shows Patrick riding a giant jellyfish while swinging a lasso around in Jellyfish Fields. It then shows the TBS logo on a random jellyfish.
• It shows Squidward taking a bath in his house, and he finds a jellyfish popping out of the water, and begins to scream as he runs out of the bathroom. It then shows the TBS logo on a bar of soap.
• On a white background, SpongeBob appears. He dodges some black slime and does a raspberry. Suddenly, the black slime covers him with the TBS logo. He spits the logo out. It lands on the ground. He says “Wow! Now THAT’S a logo!”.
• We see some footage of Neil Armstrong's 1969 moonwalk, leading to a video where Neil puts up a flag. The flag says TBS: Canadian Television and the logo on the flag changes different colors.
• We see a pink elephant. There are some yellow flowers, which the elephant turns into "Canadian Television". Then, the elephant turns himself into the TBS logo.
• On a blue background, we see a statue with a square on it, and some cats jump over it. Then one of the cats crashes into the statue and the statue and the cat merge into the TBS logo.
• On a black background, we see the TBS logo placed on a platform, the logo continually changes texture.
• On a red tablecloth with a black M on it, we see some fries and a hand. After a off-screen voice says "Anybody got anything to eat?", the hand spins some ketchup on the fries. More hands take the fries, revealing the black M to be the TBS logo (without the "TV"). Four fries appear and form the "TV", then ketchup appears on them.
• A TV drives down the road to an TBS gas station. The TBS logo plugs a cord on the TV and we see many TBS ID's. An oil stack drops and an TBS sign lights up. Another TBS logo cleans the TV and it drives off. We then zoom over the TBS sign.
• We see a cow named Bonnie in a field. We zoom over to the cow's spots, and the TBS logo is one of them.
• We see a rocket ship in the clouds, landing past a monolith (actually a red cake). A spatula forms the hole south of the cake, and the rocket crashes into the cake, forming the TBS logo with a birthday candle.
• We see a man in a construction site. He keeps complaining things like "Take It Back!", "Back this way!", "Up A Bit", and "OK!". Then a giant TBS logo falls on him, and he turns into a hat with feet. The hat crawls past the "Canadian Television".
• In a castle, we see a group of knights whispering to each other. Then the castle door falls down and you can see a trojan horse shaped like the TBS logo. A trumpet pops out of it.
• We see a girl, with an inner tube shaped like a seahorse, on a diving board. She jumps off, and her inner tube screams right at the screen. She falls into a pool shaped like the TBS logo, and cracks appear that form "TV".
• We see an M shadow show up across a building. Some graffiti artists appear and spray paint on the building when the shadow appears. When the shadow is halfway there, the graffiti artists spray paint the TBS logo and by the time their done, the shadow was gone too. The words "Canadian Television" appear under the logo.
• During daytime, we see a guillotine's blade rise up. Then a black glove-clad hand pulls a lever, sending the blade down. Then, an M-shaped disturbing face falls, then one of his eyes pokes out, still being held by the organ. A ball crashes onscreen, causing the head to rip.
• On a black background, we see 2 face masks with red eyes and mouths. Then a square with a face appears on a red scribble and says "Ungh!" Then 2 face masks that look like cubism appear. A yellow scribble with a face & red hair appears and says "Yaahh!". Then 2 more face masks that look like cubism appear. A pentagon with a face appears on a blue scribble. He says "AAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!" and swallows the screen. A tye-dyed TBS logo zooms close to the screen.
• We see the TBS logo stuck in a gyroscope.We zoom close to the logo and random things out of nowhere pop out of the logo. Then a clip of a dog running appears, and the dog "pops" out of the TBS logo, barking at the screen.
• On some raw footage of a town, a red M puppet peeks from above. The police officers see this, and everyone runs off as the M steps onto the raw footage and finds the town square. The M steps into the town square and trips on the traffic light, forming "TV", and causing a blackout.
• On a map, a guy holds postcards from Holland, Paris, and London, each coming to life and showing the TBS logo. Last, the guy holds a postcard from Australia. We zoom into the postcard, and a boomerang is being thrown into space. As the boomerang comes even closer to the screen, the TBS logo appears on it, before it crashes into the screen.
• On a white background, we see a cartoon head, which morphs into several different faces. One of them forms the TBS logo, with a skin-like texture, which has blood on it and dripping green liquid.
• We see a goblin-like shirtless man (some people might think of Marilyn Manson) at a table, with utensils. He breaks some food, and it had small, white, featureless, humanoids come out. They climb on the man and enter his body through the orifices. He tries to stop some of them, but then his head bulges and eventually explodes from him sneezing. Then an M is formed by the white creatures, 2 of them with wings fly across, and a ribbon with "Canadian Television" written on it falls on the M. Intestines then come out of the stack and from "TV". The background is entirely black.
• We see a seemingly metal centipede moving around a junkyard at night. It crawls into a hole and it becomes an insect-like flying robot. It then flies, and a red/orange dragon with a centipede-like body. Said dragon chases the flying robot around the junkyard. The robot gets in a machine/castle, which closes it's gate. The dragon tries to get in, but fails. The robot flies around the castle until finding a power source, and activating it. Electricity runs through the machine/castle, and wheels and drills on it turn. At the lower part, "legs" pull part of the machine/castle out and it was shaped like an TBS was made with other parts on the machine/castle.
• The ID opens with a plate of food and twangy country music playing throughout. The fork lifting the peas stops as we hear a nose blowing. The camera pans to the server and the fork is heard being dropped. He says, "Oh look...made an TBS logo. Wanna see?" The customer screams off-camera. The server, disgusted, screams, "Well, I didn't want to show it to you anyway!", and runs off.
• Starting with a dark screen, we hear footsteps. The screen brightens to reveal a Lego mini-figure in an electric worker's outfit, walking and smiling and he goes to a switch. He struggles to pull it for a few seconds and then he does it. We hear sparks and the mini-figure's face turns to wonder and then happiness as the camera zooms in on his face. In the next scene we see the TBS sign in darkness. Then, as the lights flicker on, the camera rotates to have the logo in the center. We remain on the same shot, with a skyline in the background, and then the camera fades to black. The logo itself reads as follows: On a white square, "TBS" is black and each word in read top to bottom, except for "Canadian Television" which is sideways on the right side.
• On a black background, the Paperboy from the game appears, riding his bike. We then pan down to the dog, which is chasing him. The camera then switches to 2 electrical towers and a power switch with the TBS logo below the switch on the sign. The Paperboy throws a newspaper at the switch, turning on the towers and shocking the dog. He then lies on the ground and the switch turns as we zoom in on the logo. A lightning bolt scans the screen.
• Through an optic device, we observe soldiers moving across the orange surface, when the large electric tower rises up and takes all the view. Then the device power-offs and the close-up view of the TBS logo appears, which zooms to normal position.
• At a power plant, we see sparks and bolts of lightning strike it. It zooms out a bit before quickly zooming into the sign, which a rusted version of the TBS logo, which the camera shakes a bit after that. Sparks rain down over the logo and more bolts appear in the background.
• We see a kid with glasses in a room, who's looking through a pile of games that he has. He then pulls out a disc that has the company logo from before on it. He puts it in his game console and begins playing it, until his TV begins to shake. It surges with electricity, and shoots out a bluish light, leaving the kid with an amazed face as the camera zooms in on his glasses, where we see logo on a black background, surging with electricity.
• On a black background, we see the logo as we zoom on a mechanical arm coming out from the left side of the logo, it begins rotating and mildly surging with electricity, we then see the logo zoomed out again as two mechanical arms (the one from before and another one on the right side) shock the logo with electricity, then retreat back into it. The logo then slowly zooms out and fades out.
• On a purple stage, the TBS logo is seen, pulsing and emitting reflections in joint with the music beats. Three lights descent above. After some beating, the logo suddenly explodes and dissolves into particles.
• In a dark space, we see a small orange square and blue rectangle. The latter flips and multiplies, and the TBS logo appears on its place, deforming and twitching at random parts. Small blue squares and stars flash around. The logo ends when the orange square poses at the right side and begins to constantly flash.
• A eye appears on a whitblack-ish background. A scene from Big Brother Canada flashes in the eye. The eye has the TBS logo in it. Suddenly, it explodes. A bunch of things appear, including: a TV, a stage, the kid, Homer Simpson, a piano, a guillotine, a orange square, a paperboy, the humanoids (now Tinker Bell-type fairies), a cake and pieces of the TBS logo. Everything lands on the stage and the TBS logo glitches on the TV screen. The tinkernoids hold up a banner saying “Celebrating 60 years of weirdness”.