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SpongeBob SquarePants Deleted Scenes and Bloopers are the scenes that has deleted scenes and bloopers on them.

Season 1

Help Wanted

  • (Blooper 1 (Take 1))
  • SpongeBob: Look at me! I'm... naked-! (crashes through ceiling)
  • Director: CUT!
  • (Blooper 1 (Take 2))
  • SpongeBob: Look at me! I'm... nakeeeee-(falls down after flying only one centimeter)-eeeeeeeeed!!!
  • (SpongeBob crashes the floor and Gary hides under the bed to avoid debris from hitting him. The camera pans to a hole through the floor shaped like SpongeBob.)
  • Director: CUT!
  • (Blooper 1 (Take 3))
  • SpongeBob: Look at me! I'm... nakeeeeee...
  • (SpongeBob flies out the door)
  • SpongeBob: ...eeeeeeeeeed!!!!
  • (SpongeBob lands on his face in the sand.)
  • (Blooper 2)
  • (SpongeBob is trying to lift up his barbells with stuffed animals on it, but then falls backwards.)
  • Director: CUT!!!
  • (Blooper 3)
  • SpongeBob: (deep voice) I've been training my whole life for the day I could join the Krusty Krew. (normal voice) And now I'm ready!
  • (SpongeBob is about to walk to Squidward and Mr. Krabs, but he trips on a nail in the floorboard and crashes into the floor.)
  • Director: CUT! That's not how it's supposed to go!
  • (Blooper 4)
  • Bus Driver: Hey! Hey! Please! Passengers are to stay seated and put their hands out the window!
  • (Buses surround the Krusty Krab. One of them falls over.)
  • (Blooper 5)
  • Mr. Krabs: Anchovies.
  • Squidward: What?
  • Mr. Krabs: ANCHOVIES!!!
  • (A bunch of anchovies rush to the Krusty Krab, but the doors are locked. The anchovies bump into it.)
  • Director: CUT!!! Who's responsible for this?!
  • (A crew member hides the keys behind his back and whistles.)
  • (Blooper 6)
  • SpongeBob: Permission to come aboard captain! ♪Da da da da da da! Da da da da da da da-(hydrodynamic spatula stops flying)
  • (SpongeBob falls into the crowd of anchovies.)
  • SpongeBob: AAAAAAH!!! HELP!!! HELP!!!
  • Director: CUT!!!
  • (The anchovies stop thrashing SpongeBob around.)
  • (Blooper 7)
  • Spongebob: WHOOO!
  • (Spongebob hits Krabby Patty.)
  • Director: That's not what's in the script!
  • (Krabby Patty hits an anchovie in the head, knocking him out.)
  • Anchovie: JOE IS DOWN!!!
  • Director: CUT!
  • Mr. Krabs: Three cheers for SpongeBob! Hip-hip!
  • Squidward: (weakly) Hooray. Mr.-
  • Mr. Krabs: Hip-hip!
  • Squidward: (quickly) Hooray. Mr.-
  • Mr. Krabs: Hip-hip!
  • Squidward: (quickly) Hooray. Mr. Krabs-
  • (Mr. Krabs is holding a wheelbarrow with a big sack of money.)
  • Mr. Krabs: I'll be in me quarters, counting up me booty.
  • (The money bag falls backwards and crushes Mr. Krabs.)

Bubblestand

  • (Blooper 1)
  • SpongeBob: Then PELVIC THRUST! (falls on his back)
  • (Blooper 2)
  • SpongeBob: Step on your right foot, don't forge-! (falls on face)

Ripped Pants

  • (Deleted Scene)
  • SpongeBob: (to lifegaurd) Come closer... I need... I need...
  • Lifeguard: What do you need?
  • SpongeBob: A tailor. (rips pants) Because I ripped my pants!
  • (Everyone realizes it was a joke and leaves. Sandy stops to SpongeBob.)
  • Sandy: That wasn't funny, SpongeBob! Yes, the first three were funny, but this time, you had me worried! (cuts to SpongeBob) What were you even thinking? Trying to be an expert comedian? (cuts back to Sandy) Something tells me you were trying to be one a little bit! Face it. You're on your own. (leaves SpongeBob)
  • Scooter: (upset; to Spongebob) Dude... (walks away)

Plankton!

  • (Blooper)
  • Plankton: (to Mr. Krabs) When I discover your secret formula for Krabby Patties, I'll run you out of business. I WENT TO COLLE-(coughs) Excuse me-(coughs again)
  • Director: CUT!

Boating School

  • (Alternate Scene)
  • Mrs. Puff: What's your secret? A little radio in your head? (laughs with SpongeBob) Oh, and under that hat is some kind of antenna? (laughs with SpongeBob again) And some guy miles away from here is giving you all the answers? (laughs with SpongeBob once again)
  • Patrick: (laughs)
  • Mrs. Puff: But, SpongeBob, (gets serious with a small frown) that would be cheating.
  • Patrick: HA HA HA HA!!! CHEATING!!!
  • SpongeBob: Mrs. Puff?
  • Mrs. Puff: (leans towards SpongeBob a little angry) Yes, no-star pupil?
  • SpongeBob: I think I'm cheating.
  • Mrs. Puff: (starts to get a little more angry) Say that again.
  • SpongeBob: I'm cheating!
  • Mrs. Puff: SpongeBob,... get out of the boat!
  • SpongeBob: (while Mrs. Puff tries to push him out of the boat) I do have an antenna under my hat! (reveals antenna) And there is a guy giving me the answers! I am cheating! (crying) Cheating! Cheating! Cheating!
  • Patrick: What? (runs back to his rock) AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
  • SpongeBob: I'm sorry, Mrs. Puff!
  • Mrs. Puff: (still trying to get SpongeBob out of the boat) No! (grunts) It's not okay! Get out!
  • SpongeBob: CHEATING! I'M A CHEATER! CHEATING!
  • Mrs. Puff: SpongeBob, cheating is not allowed!
  • SpongeBob: I'm cheating!
  • Mrs. Puff: I said, get out!
  • SpongeBob: CHEATING!
  • Mrs. Puff: Well, cheat yourself OUT OF THE BOAT!!!
  • SpongeBob: I'M A CHEATER, CHEATER, PUMPKIN EATER!
  • Mrs. Puff: It's still not okay to cheat!
  • SpongeBob: You're right!
  • Mrs. Puff: Come on already! Get OUT!!!
  • SpongeBob: Cheeeeeeaaaateeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrr!!! (crashes into lighthouse)
  • Mrs. Puff: (inflated) (in deep voice) Oh, Spongebob. WHHHYYYYYY???
  • SpongeBob: Mrs. Puff? I think I cheated.
  • Fred: (offscreen) My leg!

Pizza Delivery

  • (Deleted Scene)
  • Tom: (opens door) Another one? Look, I told your little friend I ain't paying for that!
  • Squidward: Well, this one's on the house! (throws pizza)
  • (Tom's face was shown covered in tomato sauce, pepperoni, cheese, and small bits of pizza crust. He stares at Squidward angrily.)
  • Tom: (waves fist) GO AWAY!!! (slams door)

Pickles

  • (Alternate Scene)
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, I know I put pickles on that patty.
  • Mr. Krabs: (grabs SpongeBob) (points to him) It's all your fault! Because of you forgetting the pickles on the patty, you made him make me owe him two bucks, which is coming out of your paycheck!
  • SpongeBob: But, Mr. Krabs-
  • (Mr. Krabs throws SpongeBob into the kitchen.)
  • Mr. Krabs: Get back to work, we got orders waitin'!

Sandy's Rocket

  • (Blooper #1)
  • Patrick: (to SpongeBob) Look! I'm winning!
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, cut that out! This is Sandy's rocket! Not some type of fun... (looks at broken mirror) hou-? Um... (to crew) Does someone have crack-fixing cream?
  • (Blooper #2)
  • Patrick: (heads to the buttons) More! More!
  • SpongeBob: No more! (Patrick presses a button and the two are being shaken up and down)
  • Patrick: (still shaking) He-e-e-e-e-elp us!!
  • SpongeBob: (still shaking) The ro-o-o-ocket is m-m-malf-f-f-f-f-function-n-n-ning!!!
  • Director: CUT!!!

Squeaky Boots

  • (Alternate Scene)
  • Tom: I'll take a (squeaks)
  • Mr Krabs: WHAT DID YOU SAY?!
  • Tom: I said I'll take a (squeaks)
  • Mr Krabs: Huh?
  • SpongeBob: I heard his order, Mr. Krabs. He said he wants... (squeaks)
  • Mr. Krabs: What?
  • Tom: And a (squeaks)
  • Mr. Krabs: Huh? (starts hallucinating that everything starts squeaking) What? (sees the menu is written with stuff like "squeak" and "squeaky-squeak") I didn't write that! Aah! (keeps hearing the squeaks) Who said that?
  • (The hallucination scene had added two scenes. One: Mr. Krabs was being squished into goo by the boots. Two: Mr. Krabs changes into strange shapes mixed up with the boots. Then he hears SpongeBob's voice.)
  • SpongeBob: (in Mr. Krab's head) Can the world's greatest fry cook do this? And this? And this? And this? And this? And this? And this, and this, and this, and this, and this...?
  • Mr. Krabs: STOP IT! STOOOOP IIIIIIIT!

Nature Pants

  • (Alternate Scenes)
  • SpongeBob: Good-bye. (walks behind a seashell) Almost forgot. (takes off pants) (runs off in a straight line behind the shell) Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!
  • Squidward: (confused) What was he supposed to be doing?
  • Sandy: I have no clue.
  • Patrick: (sobbing) PATRICK SAD!!!
  • (Later...)
  • SpongeBob: (lays down on belly on the grass watching Sandy and Patrick)
  • Sandy: Here Patrick! Have a Krabby Patty! (whispers) There he is Patrick. Good thing he's probably still wearing clothes. Say your line.
  • Patrick: (reads script) Why, thank you, Sandy. I would love one. Take patty. (picks up Krabby Patty) Too bad SpongeBob isn't here these are his favorites. I sure wish he'd come home. Take bite. (tries to take bite, but throws patty and script away) (turns to SpongeBob) I can't do it! SPONGEBOB! COME BACK!
  • (Still Later...)
  • SpongeBob: (peeks his head out of bush) Patrick, what are you doing?
  • Patrick: (not noticing SpongeBob is naked) If I can't have you as a friend, I'm going to make you a trophy! I picked out a nice jar for you!
  • (SpongeBob runs away from Patrick, still not noticing. SpongeBob hides in a jellyfish hive.)
  • Patrick: Okay! So this is the way it's going to be. I hope you're happy! (breaks net in hat and leaves)
  • (Still, Still, Later...)
  • SpongeBob: What have I done? I had a great life and friends, and I gave that all up. (walks towards his pineapple not expecting Patrick, Mr. Krabs, Squidward, Sandy, and Gary there. But they were throwing a Welcome Home Party.)
  • Patrick, Squidward, Mr. Krabs, and Sandy: Welcome home, SpongeBob! (everyone gasps, except Gary who has always seen SpongeBob naked)
  • (Cuts to Squidward. His eyes were open wide with shock and his noisemaker flops. Cuts to Mr. Krabs and Sandy. Sandy has her hand over her helmet where her mouth is. Mr. Krabs, in the background, was jawdropped with claws spread out. Cuts to SpongeBob.)
  • SpongeBob: What? (episode ends)

Opposite Day

  • (Deleted Scene)
  • Patty: Who are you?
  • Squidward: I am Squidward!
  • Patty: (stands up from chair) What kind of fool do you take me for? He's Squidward? He's Squidward? You're Squidward?  I'M SQUIDWARD!
  • Patrick: You don't look like Squidward.
  • Patty: (puts pickle on face) (in Squidward's voice) How about now?
  • (SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward look at her. Patty's pickle falls off, bounces, and lands in front of Gary. Gary sniffs the pickle.)
  • Patty: (normal voice) Are there any other Squidwards I should know about?
  • Gary: (with the pickle on his face) Meow.

The Chaperone

  • (Deleted Scene)
  • Pearl: Well, I guess you can take me home now, (tears fill up her eyes) now that you've ruined everything! (sobbing)
  • SpongeBob: Don't cry, the prom expert is here! (pulls out the long list) I haven't failed yet! Hey, we can still... no, I broke that. We could ...no. Don't cry! D-d-d-d-d-don't-don't cry.
  • (SpongeBob had reached the end of the long list. He realizes that he ruined everything.)
  • SpongeBob: Whatever you do, don't... (sobbing) WAAAAAAAAA-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
  • (SpongeBob runs off. Pearl's friends walk over to Pearl.)
  • Judy: Wow, what did you do to him? Poor little guy...
  • (SpongeBob runs into the ladies' bathroom crying. A bunch of ladies run out screaming. SpongeBob realizes his mistake and runs out crying and runs into the mens' bathroom.)

I Was A Teenage Gary

  • (Alternate Ending)
  • Squidward: (finds snail plasma in his nose) Uh oh...
  • Spongesnail: (slithers up to Squidward's nose and manages to get the syringe out. He then chucks it out the window) Meow!
  • Squidward: GET AWAY FROM ME YOU MONSTROSITY!!!! (flings Spongesnail out the window and lands on Patrick's rock.)
  • Spongesnail: Meow... (Spongesnail squeezes under Patrick's rock)
  • Patrick: Hi Spongebo-bo-bo-bo-AAAAAAUGH! (Spongesnail chases Patrick similar to his chasing Squidward. Then, Patrick leaps out of his rock and screams. He then trods on the syringe with Spongesnail threw earlier. The plasma spreads all around his feet.)
  • Patrick: Yay! Green smoothie!!! (Patrick scoops up some of the plasma in his hands and eats it.)
  • Snailward: Meow. ( Snailward comes out of his house and meets Spongesnail. The two have a conversation.)
  • Snailpatrick: MEEAAUGH... (Snailward and Spongesnail look at Snailpatrick and slither away as fast as possible. Cuts to Snailpatrick looking like a mutation of a snail and a blobfish.)

SB-129

  • (Blooper)
  • SpongeTron: Greetings, primitive!
  • Squidward: Sp... SpongeBob? Is that you?
  • SpongeTron: Spongebob? No! (in robot voice) I am SpongeTron-!(malfunctioning) SpongeTron-! SpongeTron-!(breaks down)
  • Director: CUT! Lunch break.
  • Squidward: (to crew) Ah, crew can I have my lunch break now?
  • Director: YES! Squidward, you may have your lunch break.
  • (Deleted Scene)
  • Squidward: Oh look! It's just a little jellyfish!
  • Primitive Sponge: (mutters a lot of gibberish to Primitive Star)
  • Squidward: (gets stung by the jellyfish) OUCH!!
  • Primitive Star: (urinates on Squidward) UG.
  • Squidward: Well, I have to praise you for watching 'Primitive Friends'.

Sleepy Time

  • (Deleted Scene)
  • Sandy: Not a parakeet! A para-(lands in a truck of Clam Manure) Medic.
  • (SpongeBob screams as he flies out Sandy's dream. He spots Fred's dream cloud.)
  • SpongeBob: I wonder what Fred's dream is like. (jumps in Fred's dream cloud and into a strange world) Wow. Where am I?
  • Fred #1: Hi, SpongeBob.
  • SpongeBob: (about to shake Fred's hand) Hi, Fre-(slips on banana peel) Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA!!
  • (SpongeBob falls on Fred.)
  • Fred # 1: My leg!
  • SpongeBob: (gets up) Oh. (backs up) Sorry sir. (bumps into another Fred)
  • Fred # 2: (falls over) My leg!
  • SpongeBob: I have to get out of here!
  • (SpongeBob spots a boat which appeared out of nowhere. SpongeBob hopped in the boat. He drives up a squiggly hill, but he still wasn't good at driving, and runs over a Fred.)
  • Fred #3: My leg!
  • SpongeBob: Oh no! (crashes boat through DANGER barrier) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
  • (The boat flies towards a Fred driving an airplane. It knocks the Fred out.)
  • Fred #4: My leg!
  • (The airplane, with Fred #4 unable to drive, runs over a line of Freds.)
  • Fred #5: My leg!
  • Fred #6: My leg!
  • Fred #7: My leg!
  • Fred #8 : My leg!
  • Fred #9: My leg!
  • Fred #10: My leg!
  • Fred #11: My leg!
  • SpongeBob: (as the boat plummets into a pit of Freds) Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!
  • Fred #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, and #23: MY LEG!!!
  • (Fred #4 falls 12 inches out of the plane and lands on the ground with a smack.)
  • Fred #4: My leg!
  • (The plane crashes into the ground and stops as it bumps into another Fred.)
  • Fred #24: My leg!
  • SpongeBob: Uh-oh.
  • Freds: Get him!
  • (SpongeBob paints a wall in front of him and jumps out of Fred's dream cloud.)
  • Freds: (bump into wall) MY LEG!
  • SpongeBob: Ouch! Alright, that's it! No more messing with people's dreams again. (sees Mr. Krabs' house in the distance.) Hey! Mr. Krabs!

Suds

  • (Blooper 1)
  • Patrick: It gets worse. They make you read.... Uh... They make you read uh... Line?
  • (Blooper 2)
  • Patrick: This oughta do the trick. (puts one cork in one of Spongebob's holes, then puts a lot in the rest of the holes) Feel better?
  • SpongeBob: I don't know, Patrick. (sneezes, but all the corks fly out of the holes)
  • Patrick: AAAAAAAAAAHHHH-!(screams get muffled as he gets covered in a pile of corks)
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, (sniffs) are you alright?
  • (Patrick emerges from the pile of corks.)
  • Patrick: (a little bit dizzy) Never felt better, SpongeBob. (falls on his belly)
  • (Blooper 3)
  • Patrick: (with black mask on head) Oh no! It's Sandy!
  • SpongeBob: (sneezes) Uh, Patrick. You got something in your nose.
  • Patrick: Huh? (removes his mask)
  • (A small piece of coral was in Patrick's left nostril. Patrick flicks it out.)
  • Patrick: Okay!
  • Director: (offscreen) CUT!

Valentine's Day

  • (Deleted Scene 1)
  • Patrick: (growls) So, as I was saying...
  • Male Fish: Excuse me, do you guys have the time?
  • Patrick: AAAAAAAGGGGHHH! (throws Male Fish away) PATRICK NEEDS LOVE TOO!!! (beats chest like a gorilla) OOOOOOOOOOOOGGGHHH!!!! (cuts balloons and destroys balloon cart then sees children playing with a guy inside a heart costume) I defy you, heart man! (rips his costume off) Laaaha!
  • P. A. System: Attention, everyone! There is a chubby pink starfish on the loose!
  • (Everyone screams and runs away. Patrick runs past the P. A. speaker and stops. He glares at it.)
  • P. A. System: Wait. What are you doing?
  • Patrick: Must kill speaker!!!
  • (Patrick rips the P. A. system out of the ground and slams it into the ground repeatedly.)
  • P. A. System: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
  • (Patrick throws the system to the ground. Then he tears out the speaker.)
  • Patrick: (as he rips the speaker in half) YAAAAARGH! (sees a twirl-around ride) Heart on stick must die!
  • (Deleted Scene 2)
  • Patrick: YAAAAAAAY! My Valentine! (leaps on chocolate balloon) Hey, is this solid chocolate?
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, no!
  • (Patrick bites the balloon and chocolate spills everywhere. SpongeBob and Patrick are covered in chocolate.
  • Patrick: Aw, SpongeBob. You didn't have to give me anything.
  • SpongeBob: (gets a confused look on his face) Then,... why did you destroy the carnival?
  • Patrick: Huh? Uh-oh...
  • Fish: There's the pink tubby starfish that ruined the carnival! Get him!
  • (A crowd of fish angrily run to Patrick.)
  • Patrick: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
  • (The crowd chases Patrick out of the carnival. Episode ends.)

The Paper

  • (Take 1)
  • Squidward: Super-moron's more like it.
  • SpongeBob: Now I'm... (jumps out of pants) SpongeBob JunglePants! (swings on vine) AAAA-(slams into Squidward's house)
  • Squidward: (falls over as his house shakes) AAAAAAGGH!!!
  • (Take 2)
  • SpongeBob: SpongeBob JunglePants! (falls onto sand)
  • (Take 3)
  • SpongeBob: Now I'm... (jumps out of pants without paper) Sponge-(finds out he isn't wearing the paper) (chuckles)

Rock Bottom

  • (Deleted Scene)
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, I think we're on the wrong...(bus drives too fast)...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! bus!
  • (SpongeBob slowly walks up front. His pants fly off. Then his underwear flies off and hits Patrick in the face. Then cuts to naked SpongeBob. The bus comes to a stop. SpongeBob slides down the windshield. He has his pants back on when he and Patrick get off the bus.)
  • SpongeBob: Sir, we need to get back to Bikini Bottom.
  • Bus Driver: (hands SpongeBob balloon) Oh, well. (drives off).

Texas

  • (Alternate Scene)
  • SpongeBob: Run faster, Patrick!
  • Patrick: (gets roped by Sandy) AAAAAAAH! SPOOONGEBOOOOOOB!!! (explodes)
  • SpongeBob: (screams)
  • Sandy: Hi-yah! (chops SpongeBob) Ya'll gonna take back for what ya said!
  • SpongeBob: No! (puts halves back together) Almost there! (jumps for Krusty Krab and hangs on the door)
  • (As SpongeBob hangs on the door, Sandy throws her lasso at SpongeBob. She starts pulling SpongeBob towards her.)
  • Sandy: You've been messing with the bull. Now here come the horns!
  • SpongeBob: Sandy, no! (loses grip and lets go of door without front of Krusty Krab ripping) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
  • (BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!)
  • (SpongeBob exploded just like Patrick. Sandy packs her lasso away.)
  • Sandy: That'll teach them. Oh, well. Back to the bus to Texas.
  • (Sandy was walking to the bus stop. She turned around and gave a sad glance to SpongeBob's motionless ash-covered body. The bus appeared at the bus stop.)
  • Bus Driver: I've been waiting for you!
  • Sandy: (turns to bus driver) Oh, he, he... Hi. Take me to Texas.
  • Bus Driver: OK.
  • (Sandy walks onto the bus and gets in her seat. The bus doors close. The bus drives off. Sandy sat in her seat thinking about the times she had with SpongeBob and ended with blowing him up. Finally, Sandy bursts into tears because she misses SpongeBob.)
  • Bus Driver: (speeds backwards to bus stop) Alright, that's it! (kicks Sandy off) Get off the bus! (closes doors and grumbles as he drives off) Hmph. Texas. Whoever heard of such a thing? It's dumb.
  • Sandy: (runs to SpongeBob's motionless body) (sobbing) Oh, SpongeBob... Wh-... What have I done!? Why did I have to react to you insultin' Texas!? (sobs again)
  • (Cuts to treedome where Sandy was sitting at the picnic table still crying. Then she looks out the glass dome and could see SpongeBob jellyfishing outside. Then she cries again. Cuts to the back of the Krusty Krab where Sandy was sitting down still crying. Just then, she heard something.)
  • Mr. Krabs: Everyone, we are standing outside the Krusty Krab for the funeral of SpongeBob. We were going to plan a Texas party for Sandy, but this happened. (he comes up to the box where SpongeBob's motionless body) I will never forget the time that SpongeBob first worked here. And... if he were still alive, I... will never try to get rid of him again.(places flowers on the box and walks away)
  • Squidward: (comes up to the box) (sigh) I don't know how to say this, but I like SpongeBob. (places one flower on the box) Just kidding! (laughs) I'm going home to have a party!
  • Patrick: (covered in bandages and bruises) (limps to the box) Oh, SPONGEBOB! (cries) (places bunch of flowers on the box) (walks into crowd)
  • (Police sirens can be heard. They were coming to the Krusty Krab.)
  • Cop #1: We heard that there was a funeral for SpongeBob and we think this squirrel (shows mugshot of Sandy) (everyone gasps) was responsible.
  • Patrick: Hey, doesn't that look like Sandy?
  • Cop #2: Sandy?
  • (Sandy is watching on the Krusty Krab) Oh no. Whoa-whoa-whoa! (falls off)
  • (Everyone turns around.)
  • Cop #2: There she is!
  • Mr. Krabs: Get her!
  • (Everyone shouts and chases Sandy around the Krusty Krab, until Cop #1 jumps on her, puts her hands out and cuffs them.)
  • Cop #1: It's slammer time for you... Missy.
  • Sandy: (sighs sadly)
  • (Sandy walks with the cops to the police van. Sandy was brought into the back of the van. The cops drive off, but not before Sandy looks at the citizens. They were all angry, except Patrick.)
  • Patrick: Bye, Sandy.
  • Sandy: (sobs)
  • Patrick: (echoing in SpongeBob's head) AAAAAAAAH!!!
  • (Cuts back to SpongeBob's face. Sandy was still chasing Patrick and him.)
  • SpongeBob: Phew. I was just daydreaming. Huh?
  • Patrick: SPONGEBOOOOOOOB!!! (explodes)

Walking Small

  • (Take 1)
  • SpongeBob: You can have it. (gives ice cream to eel)
  • Eel: Say, thanks!
  • Plankton: NO! (jumps inside SpongeBob's mouth) Hey, pencil neck! Yeah, you slither over here! Surrender that ice cream cone or you'll be waking up... No, no, that's not right!
  • (Take 2)
  • Plankton: Hey, pencil neck! Yeah, you slither over here! Surrender that ice cream or every waking moment for you will become a swirling torrent of pain and misery!
  • Eel: (throws ice cream at SpongeBob) (angry) You mean jerk! (leaps on SpongeBob and beats him up)
  • SpongeBob: Ow! OW! Hey! I didn't say that!
  • Director: Cut cut-! (eel looks at him) Uh-oh.
  • Eel: (gets off SpongeBob) (charges at director) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (beats director)
  • (The TV camera tips over causing the glass to crack. Cuts to TV color bars.)
  • (Deleted Scene)
  • SpongeBob: Just watch me! (lifts up big beach blanket and starts waving it) Man, this thing is sandy!
  • (Cuts to a girl fish licking her ice cream. Sand flies onto it. She starts crying. Cuts back to SpongeBob.)
  • Fred: (offscreen) My leg!
  • (Alternate Scene)
  • SpongeBob: (laughs evilly)
  • (A volleyball rolls up to SpongeBob. SpongeBob picks up the volleyball.)
  • Larry: Hey, SpongeBob! Throw us the ball!
  • (SpongeBob looked at Larry. Then he looked at the volleyball. A diabolical plan hatches in his mind. SpongeBob squeezes the volleyball as hard as he can and pops it.)
  • SpongeBob: (growling) (loudly) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!
  • (SpongeBob's yelling was so loud, it shook Goo Lagoon up. It blows the volleyball players, including Larry, away from him. SpongeBob looks around.)
  • SpongeBob: Plankton, did you see that? I was a regular alpha-male! (looks around Goo Lagoon) Plankton?

Hooky

  • (Blooper 1)
  • Squidward: I'd love to hear one of your riveting sea tales, but I have to do my waste basket inspection. (accidentaly slams trash can on his head too hard) Ouch! Oh, that hurt! Medic! Please?
  • (Blooper 2)
  • Mr. Krabs: And just when you think you found the land of milk and honey, (grabs and lifts Scooter's pants) they grab you by the britches and haul you way up high. And higher, and higher, and hi-(loses balance) Woah-woah-woah!
  • Scooter: AAH!
  • Mr. Krabs: Bwaaagh! (falls face first into Krabby Patty and table)
  • (Scooter falls over as Mr. Krabs' face slides off of the table. The table breaks in half.)
  • Mr. Krabs: (in pain) OOOOOOOOOH!
  • SpongeBob: (gasp) Mr. Krabs!
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, SpongeBob.... Me face.
  • Director: CUT! What is wrong with you, guys?
  • (Deleted Scene)
  • Mr. Krabs: (to SpongeBob and Patrick) You end up vacuum-packed in a can of tuna!
  • (A can of tuna appears on the screen)
  • Mr. Krabs: With nothing to look foward to but the smell of mayonnaise!
  • (A jar of mayonnaise appears on the screen as a woman's scream was heard offscreen)
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: We're sorry, Mr. Krabs!
  • Mr. Krabs: Here. (pulls down a movie screen) Let me show ya.
  • (Mr. Krabs turns on the projector. The film began.)
  • Mr. Krabs: Here's how dangerous they are. Hooks are really sharp. They are made out of aluminum. Now here's a nice looking fish.
  • (An anchovy appears on screen)
  • Anchovy: Meep.
  • Mr Krabs: Now watch.
  • (SpongeBob and Patrick cowered in fear as a fishing hook appears. The hook taps the anchovy)
  • Anchovy: (turns around) Meep? (sees fishing hook in front of him) MEEEP!!! (runs away) Meep, meep, meep!
  • (The fishing hook chases the anchovy. The hook finally gets him)
  • Anchovy: (gets lifted) MEEP! Meep-meep-meep-meep-meep-meep-MEEP!
  • (Cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick still watching in horror. The anchovy's choking, a knife, and eating can be heard)
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
  • Mr. Krabs: (pulls screen back up) Now do you see what I am sayin'?
  • SpongeBob: Yes, Mr. Krabs.
  • Patrick: Of c-course we do.
  • Mr. Krabs: Good. I need a sailor's promise.

Season 2

Your Shoe's Untied

  • (Alternate Scene)
  • Mr. Krabs: Wait! Wait, don't go! That's me money walking out the door! What's the meaning of this, Mr. Squidward?
  • Squidward: It's SpongeBob's fault!
  • Mr. Krabs: (gets really angry and his eyes turn into steam whistles) SPONGEBOB! GET OUT HERE! (SpongeBob peeks out kitchen door) More. (SpongeBob peeks out more) More. (SpongeBob peeks out even more) All the way, boy! (SpongeBob comes in) What be the matter, SpongeBob? I oughta make you walk the plank for this!
  • SpongeBob: I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs. It's just that I... I...
  • Mr. Krabs: Yes?
  • SpongeBob: I... I... I... I... I...
  • Mr. Krabs: Yes, yes, yes?
  • SpongeBob: I... I... I... I... I... I... I...
  • Mr. Krabs: OUT WITH IT, BOY! (shakes SpongeBob) What is it?
  • SpongeBob: I forgot how to tie my shoes.
  • Mr. Krabs: ...Seriously? And what's the problem?
  • SpongeBob: I keep messing up with the Krabby Patties and I said that my career is now over.
  • Mr. Krabs: No, it isn't, SpongeBob!
  • SpongeBob: Oh really? Then can you show me how to tie my shoes?
  • Mr. Krabs: I don't wear shoes.

Squid's Day Off

  • (Alternate Scene)
  • Squidward: (thinking) He'll probably just stand there, bored. (chuckles as he imagines SpongeBob at the cash register) SpongeBob, bored. (chuckles again)
  • Thought SpongeBob: Eh, getting kind of bored.
  • (Thought SpongeBob yawns and falls asleep. Suddenly, the boat bursts into flames. SpongeBob turns into a pile of ash as the entire Krusty Krab catches on fire. Squidward blows the thought bubble away.)

Bossy Boots

  • (Deleted Scene)
  • Mr. Krabs: It's hip! It's coral! It's... it's losing money! (crying) Oh, you're right, SpongeBob! But I can't fire me pride and joy, it'll break her fragile little heart! What am I going to do?
  • SpongeBob: There there, Mr. Krabs. I'm sure there's another way.
  • Mr. Krabs: That's it boy! You could fire her! It's OK if she hates you.
  • SpongeBob: That's not what I said, sir. (Mr. Krabs takes him to the door)
  • Mr. Krabs: Great then, it's all settled. You fire Pearly, I'll wait in me office.
  • SpongeBob: (walks out the door) Got it.
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, what have I done? I really don't want him to fire Pearly. She's me daughter! But this place is losing money anyways. I'll take it easy. No, I can't! (sobs)
  • (Cuts to SpongeBob walking, but then bumps into Pearl.)
  • Pearl: Totally rude, SpongeBob!

Dying for Pie

  • (Deleted scene)
  • Squidward: (yelling) THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT, YOU BARNACLE HEAD!
  • SpongeBob: Oh, good one.
  • Squidward: No! You were supposed to explode in a million of pieces!
  • SpongeBob: Why would I do that?
  • Squidward: Because the pie that you ate was a bomb!
  • SpongeBob: What pie?
  • Squidward: The one that I left sitting on the counter this morning that I bought from pirates for 25 bucks and I didn't know it was a bomb, and you ate it... th... that pie!
  • SpongeBob: Pie... pie... (pulls out pie) Oh, you mean this pie!
  • Squidward: But... how did... aroma coming out of your mouth... cherry, grape, blueberry... you burped! If it was not the pie, then what did drop into your lower intestine then?
  • SpongeBob: (remembers) Oh! It was those fruit tarts I ate earlier, when I was making fruit tarts with you, and I realized that the flavor of those tarts that I ate was cherry! (laughs)
  • Squidward: Now that explains it.
  • SpongeBob: Anyways, I saved the pie in my pocket for us to share. Let's eat! (trips over rock) Oops!

Patty Hype

  • (Blooper)
  • Franco: We want a refund, Krabs!
  • Mr. Krabs: What-? Who? What?
  • Bill: Your Pretty Patties TURNED MY FACE PURPLE-!(accidentally cracks the camera lens) Oops.
  • Director: CUT!!!!

Prehibernation Week

  • (Blooper 1)
  • (Sandy zooms past a man and woman. The woman is in a jogging outfit and the man is dressed up as a kid riding his tricycle and is holding a lollipop and a popsicle. The tricycle falls over.)
  • Man: Help!
  • (Blooper 2)
  • (SpongeBob is flying to the ground, but hits it too hard)
  • SpongeBob: Ouch.
  • (Blooper 3)
  • Sandy: We're going fly-fishing!
  • (Cuts to a live-action man doing a rimshot, but accidentally hits himself in the head with a drumstick.)
  • Director: Cut!
  • (Blooper 4)
  • (While finding the hay in the needle stack, a needle pokes SpongeBob in the nose. SpongeBob's nose deflates, but then his whole body deflates.)
  • Sandy: SpongeBob, why are you behind? (sees SpongeBob's deflated body) Oh.
  • (Blooper 5)
  • Sandy: Check in this here moist cave!
  • (The citizens go into the cave, but then run out, revealing that it is a sea monster. The sea monster sucks the citizens in its nose and shoots them into his mouth to eat them.)
  • Director: Cut, cut! Spit them back out!
  • (The sea monster attempts to suck the director into its nose, but the director puts a boom microphone in the sea monster's nose. The sea monster sneezes the boom microphone out.)
  • (Blooper 6)
  • Clay: (holds a cereal box) I found BobSquare! (realizes he got his line wrong) Sheesh! I need a script.
  • (Blooper 7)
  • Sandy: Oh, SpongeBob, I was so worried! I thought something terrible happened. Come on, there's time to go atom smashing.
  • SpongeBob: Sandy, wait!
  • Sandy: There's no time to wait! Hibernation!
  • SpongeBob: Sandy, you've got to make time! This is important! (lets go of Sandy's arm) (holds up a razor) I am a ma-(accidentally scratches razor on himself) (in pain) AAAAAAGH!
  • Sandy: SpongeBob!
  • SpongeBob: Oh, Sandy. I-I scratched my chin. (shows Sandy his chin) Can someone get a doctor? And someone who can teach me how to hold a razor?
  • (Deleted Scene 1)
  • SpongeBob: (shivering) W-what h-happened to s-sleeping?
  • Sandy: (pulls down a calendar) I'll be asleep all winter! We only got three days for fun. (swims away) Well hurry now! The giant clams like to feed at this hour!
  • (Cuts to SpongeBob and Sandy swimming through a sea of clams. The clams leap on SpongeBob and start attacking him.)
  • SpongeBob: AAAAH!
  • (Deleted Scene 2)
  • Sandy: Wake up, slowpoke. (shows an airplane) We're going fly-fishing!
  • (Cuts to a man doing a rimshot. Cuts to SpongeBob.)
  • SpongeBob: (thinking) This squirrel's trying to kill me! Any more of these stunts and I'll be reduced to a puddle! (sees his shoe floating) Wait a minute, I've got to talk my way out of this! (talking) Sandy, I think I need to tell you something.
  • Sandy: What is it?
  • SpongeBob: Well, it's just that I'm feeling sort of... (his mouth melts away from his eyes and he pulls it back up) I just feel like maybe I need to... (his mouth melts away again)
  • Sandy: Come on, SpongeBob! (turns SpongeBob back to normal) Let's go!
  • (SpongeBob and Sandy get on the airplane. The airplane takes off.)
  • Sandy: Are you ready, SpongeBob?
  • SpongeBob: No-
  • Sandy: Got your fishing pole ready.
  • SpongeBob: Yes, but-
  • (Sandy leaps off the airplane with SpongeBob.)
  • Sandy: YEE-HAW!
  • SpongeBob: AAAAAAAH!
  • (Sandy catches a clam in the air with her fishing pole. SpongeBob catches a jellyfish with his fishing pole. The jellyfish stings him. SpongeBob and Sandy land on the ground.)
  • Sandy: Wow, that was fun, wasn't it, SpongeBob? (sees SpongeBob fried) SpongeBob? Hey, SpongeBob!
  • SpongeBob: (wakes up) NYAAAH! Yes, Sandy?
  • Sandy: Let's go find the hay in the needlestack!

Christmas Who?

  • (Blooper 1)
  • Patchy: A very good question. But you know they didn't always celebrate Christmas in Bikini Bottom.
  • Potty: (squawk) They didn't?
  • Patchy: No sir, me fine feather little neck pain. (pulls Potty's strings) (sees puppeteer falling on him) AAAA-! (gets squished by puppetteer)
  • (Blooper 2)
  • Mr. Krabs: I dunno about you lubb-lubb (laughs) Can... can we cut now? (laughs even more)
  • (Blooper 3)
  • Squidward: (singing) Go away before I harm you bodily! (dumps trash all over SpongeBob and Patrick)
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: (singing) This Christmas feels like the ver-(coughing from the trash)
  • Patrick: I need oxygen!
  • Squidward: (laughs)
  • Director: Cut!
  • Squidward: What? Why?
  • (Blooper 4)
  • Patchy: Is Squidward right? Can there be a Christmas under the sea? Stay tuned! Ooooh! (puts hook and hand on face) (hook pokes Patchy's face) Oh! Ouch!
  • (Blooper 5 (Take 1) )
  • SpongeBob: Uh, he could be here any minute. (singing) Santa's coming tonight, tonight. Santa's coming tonight.
  • Citizens: Oh, come on enough of this. (argues)
  • Fred: Thanks for the lies, Mr. Red Ri- (smacks forehead) Oh, dang it!
  • (Blooper 5 (Take 2) )
  • Fred: Thank's for the lies Jack's Beanst- No no no! I got the line wrong!
  • (Blooper 5 (Take 39) )
  • Fred: Thanks for the lies, Santa Cl- (sigh) I need to work on my script.
  • (Blooper 6)
  • Squidward: Can you say Santa Claus?
  • SpongeBob: (teary-eyed) Santa Claus. (falls over in depression)
  • Squidward: (takes SpongeBob's picture) (laughs) You, you fell! (laughs)
  • Director: CUT!
  • Squidward: (facepalm) (upset) Oh no, not again!
  • (Blooper 7)
  • SpongeBob: (sadly taking decorations off pineapple home) I guess I won't be needing this.
  • (The ladder breaks under SpongeBob's and the Christmas lights' weight.)
  • SpongeBob: Whoa! (crashes through wall) Hi, Gary.

Survival of the Idiots

  • (Alternate Scene)
  • (SpongeBob and Patrick frantically run to Sandy's door, but the door still hadn't thawed.)
  • SpongeBob: Tartar sauce! The lock is still frozen!
  • Sandy: (offscreen) I sure can't wait to get outside and warm my fur!
  • (SpongeBob and Patrick start blowing on the frozen door until it melts. Sandy peeks out her window.)
  • Sandy: Oh, look! It's SpongeBob and Patrick!
  • (SpongeBob and Patrick try opening the door like crazy, but it was already too late. Sandy comes out of her tree, completely hairless and in her bikini. She walks towards SpongeBob and Patrick.)
  • Sandy: Hey guys! (sees SpongeBob and Patrick wearing her fur) (looks down at her bald pink body) (loudly) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
  • (Sandy's screaming echoed from her tree dome to the atmosphere zone of outer space.)
  • SpongeBob: It's okay, Sandy! Squirrel pattern baldness is quite common in small mammals.
  • (But it was no use. Cuts to a VERY angry Sandy in a blistering red, firey, background, with steam shooting out of her nostrils.)
  • Sandy: SPONGEBOB!!! PATRICK!!!
  • SpongeBob: Don't worry Sandy we've got you covered!
  • (Sandy runs angrily towards SpongeBob and Patrick and starts beating them onscreen. Surreal colors and shapes fly across the background.)

Squirrel Jokes

  • (Deleted Scene)
  • Sandy: (dumb) What's that? You want more? (turns the water pump to maximum)
  • SpongeBob: Okay, Sandy! Okay! I get it! (he takes up all the space in the treedome) No more squirrel jokes.
  • (Cuts to the scene with SpongeBob out of Sandy's treedome with Sandy smart again.)
  • Sandy: (laughing) That should teach him. (sees scientists in treedome)
  • Scientist #1: Hello, Sandy. We have something to show you for being dumb.
  • Sandy: I was just pretendin'.
  • Scientist #2: Uh-huh, sure.
  • (Scientist #2 shows a page of the rule book claiming Sandy's dumbness.)
  • Sandy: (reads rule book) Rule #16: You should not be dumb at all if you are a member of us. That includes (surprised) being a hillbilly, gluing someone's bottom on chairs or sitting logs, taking helmets off of visiting sea critters if you are a mammal, not knowing what others need, and dehydrating visiting sea critters, or else.
  • Scientist #1: If you act like this again, we could do the worst to you.
  • (The scientists leave Sandy's treedome.)
  • (Bubble transition to the Komedy Krab. SpongeBob is getting ready backstage. Sandy runs in.)
  • Sandy: SpongeBob, you HAVE to stop the squirrel jokes! Some scientists have come to my treedome and they say they could do something bad to me if I act dumb again!
  • SpongeBob: Don't worry, Sandy, I will stop the squirrel jokes. And I'm sorry I said all those things about you.
  • Sandy: Oh, that's okay. (hugs SpongeBob) (SpongeBob runs onstage)

Pressure

  • (Deleted Scene)
  • Sandy: I thought y'all wanted a rematch.
  • SpongeBob: I did! And I took a head start like you did!
  • Sandy: Well, I was just funning with you that time! But I guess all y'all underwater don't have to play fair!
  • SpongeBob: I guess I don't, air breather!
  • Sandy: Water sucker!
  • SpongeBob: Tree climber!
  • Sandy: Gulf streamer!
  • SpongeBob: Kite flier!
  • Sandy: Chum chewer!
  • SpongeBob: (gasps) Take that back! You... not wet person!
  • Sandy: Aha! You can't even come up with another name! That proves it!
  • SpongeBob: Proves what?
  • Sandy: That land critters are better than sea critters!
  • SpongeBob: Well, I am beginning to question our romantic relationship!
  • Sandy: Really? I think I should go back to hanging out with Larry!
  • SpongeBob: Go ahead, not wet person!
  • Patrick: (comes in) What are you guys talking about?
  • Sandy: I was telling SpongeBob that land critters are better than sea critters. And land critters can do better at anything. Cattle roping and pie eating and wood chopping and flying!
  • Squidward: (comes in) What's she blabbering about?
  • Patrick: She says land creatures are best.

The Secret Box

  • (Blooper)
  • SpongeBob: I feel so filthy! (crying) I soiled our friendship garden! I just couldn't help myself!
  • Patrick: (fills up with tears) You did? (sobs) (runs away from SpongeBob)
  • Director: Cut!
  • SpongeBob: (to director) Uh, director can you please talk to Patrick? He's sad.

Band Geeks

  • (Blooper 1)
  • (Squidward is playing his clarinet until someone knocks on his door. He goes to open it, but the Purple Doctorfish opens up the door, slamming Squidward away.)
  • Squidward: AAAAH!!!
  • (Squidward crashes into his wall.)
  • Director CUT!!!
  • (Blooper 2)
  • Squilliam: I'm the leader of a fancy band now, and we're supposed to play at the Bubble Bowl next week.
  • Squidward: The ba-ba-ba...?! The ba-ba-ba...?!
  • (Squidward faints, dropping the shell phone.)
  • Squilliam: (over the phone) Squidward? Squidward!
  • (Blooper 3)
  • (Larry is taking a shower, reading a poster.)
  • Larry: Practice begins tonight. 8:30 shaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
  • (Larry runs out of the shower as he was screaming.)
  • Larry: HOT! HOT! HOT!
  • Director: Cut!
  • Larry: Oh, I thought the shower was hot instead of cold.
  • Crew Member: I'm sorry, Mr. Director. I just had to use the toilet.
  • (Blooper 4 (Take 1))
  • Patrick: Is marmalade an instrument?
  • Director: Cut!
  • (Blooper 4 (Take 2))
  • Patrick: Is a phonebook an instrument?
  • Director: Cut!
  • (Blooper 4 (Take 150))
  • Patrick: Is SpongeBob an instrument?
  • SpongeBob: What?!
  • Director: CUT!!!!!
  • Patrick: I need to work on my script.
  • (Blooper 5)
  • (Patrick and Sandy are fighting and end up outside.)
  • Patrick: (offscreen) OHHHHHHH-HO-HO-HO-HO-HOOOOOH!!!!
  • (Patrick pokes his head inside.)
  • Patrick: Whoever's the owner of the white sedan, you've left your lights on.
  • (Patrick walks in, revealing that he was stuffed in a trombone. He accidentally knocks out a few people with the trombone.)
  • Patrick: Oh. Eh, sorry.

Graveyard Shift

  • (Deleted Scene)
  • Squidward: Wait a minute, if that was you on the phone, and you on the bus, then who was flickering the lights?
  • (The lights start flickering on and off again. SpongeBob, Squidward, and the Unnamed Fish turn around to see Nosferatu was flickering the lights.)
  • SpongeBob, Squidward, and Unnamed Fish: Nosferatu!
  • (Nosferatu smiles and winks at the viewers and turns the lights off again)
  • Squidward: Wait, what happened?
  • SpongeBob: (screams)
  • (Beating up can be heard. Cuts to SpongeBob, Squidward, and The Unnamed Guy tied up by Nosferatu)
  • Squidward: (under bandana) I should've known.
  • (Episode ends)

Procrastination

  • (Blooper 1)
  • SpongeBob: I know! I just need to get a little blood pumpin' in the old noodle. How about some calisthenics? (does calisthenics) Hup hoo, hup-(falls over)
  • (Blooper 2)
  • SpongeBob: No more fooling around! I've gotta get back to work! OK, Mr. Essay, I say... prepare to be written!
  • (SpongeBob's pencil snaps when his lead touches the paper.)
  • SpongeBob: Oops.
  • (Blooper 3)
  • SpongeBob: And some of these, and some of these... almost there and... (puts down pencil) ...done. (desk breaks in half) Huh?
  • (Blooper 4 (Take 1)
  • SpongeBob: Now, let's see how it looks so far. (cuts to piece of paper which was still blank.)
  • (Blooper 2 (Take 2) )
  • SpongeBob: Now let's see how it looks so far. (cuts to piece of paper which shows black and white picture of SpongeBob flipping Krabby Patties)
  • (Blooper 2 (Take 3) )
  • SpongeBob: Now let's see how it looks so far. (cuts to piece of paper with United Plankton Pictures written on it)
  • (Blooper 2 (Take 4) )
  • SpongeBob: Now let's see how it looks so far. The- (shows piece of paper with a big THE on it)
  • (Deleted Scene 1)
  • SpongeBob's Pants: Freedom! (runs out of door)
  • SpongeBob: Stop, Pants! (stops running)
  • Fridge: (evilly laughing) SpongeBob! You want something to eat from me, do ya? Here! Take this! (hand pops out and pulls out moldy bread)
  • (Cuts to a close-up of the moldy bread.)
  • SpongeBob: Gaaaaaaaaahhh! Moldy bread! (continues running) You get back here this instant! (runs outside) Paaaants! (door slams) (screams)
  • (SpongeBob looks inside through the window and sees the clock come to life.)
  • Clock: (hands break off) (ghostly voice) Time's uuuuup, SpooongeeeeBoooob....
  • (Deleted Scene 2)
  • (SpongeBob is looking through his window as the fire wick from his candle burns his essay.)
  • SpongeBob: NO!
  • (The fire wick burns his house. Gary tries to escape, but the fire burns him into ash. Cuts to SpongeBob.)
  • SpongeBob: What have I done? (runs around) Help! My house is on fire!

Squid on Strike

  • (Deleted Scene)
  • SpongeBob: Hey, guess what, Mr. Krabs? Me and Squidward are going to go on strike!
  • Mr. Krabs: A strike?
  • SpongeBob: Yeah!
  • Mr. Krabs: You mean you're going to make picket signs?
  • SpongeBob: Yeah!
  • Mr. Krabs: And you're going to make protest speeches?
  • SpongeBob: Yeah, yeah!
  • Mr. Krabs: AND YOU'RE GOING TO DEMAND ME RESPECT?!
  • SpongeBob: YEAH!!! (feels ground rumbling under Mr. Krabs' rage)
  • (The Krusty Krab starts shaking from SpongeBob's point of view. The boat was shaking and sinking two inches under the floor boards. The tables were falling over. Mr. Krabs starts yelling angrily sounding a little bit like Mustard Krabs' voice (from In-SPONGE-iac) at SpongeBob.)
  • Mr. Krabs: (yelling in SpongeBob's face) NO ONE EVER DEMANDS ME RESPECT! MR. SQUIDWARD IS SO TERRIBLE, BUT YOU ARE THE WORST!!!
  • SpongeBob: I... I didn't mean...
  • Mr. Krabs: YOU KNOW WELL OL' MR. KRABS DOESN'T LIKE THAT! SPONGEBOB! YOU'RE FIRED!!!
  • (Mr. Krabs you're fired echoes in SpongeBob's brain.)
  • Mr. Krabs: (kicks SpongeBob out) (normal voice) Get out!
  • SpongeBob: (gets up) Noooooo... NOOOO!!! Squidward! You didn't tell me I was going to get fired!

Season 3

SpongeGuard on Duty

  • (Blooper)
  • SpongeBob: Just imagine if I were a lifeguard.
  • (SpongeBob imagines himself as a lifeguard which was a SpongeBob mascot standing on a lifeguard watchtower. Suddenly, the SpongeBob mascot loses balance and falls over.)
  • Director: Cut!
  • SpongeBob: What?

Club SpongeBob

  • (Blooper 1)
  • SpongeBob: Well, since you're here, Squidward, we'll give you the new member initiation. Ready, Patrick!
  • Patrick: Ready:
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: (singing) Welcome to our club, welcome to our club. Welcome Squidward, welcome Squidward, welcome Squidward, welcome Widward, wel-
  • Patrick: I think we got mixed up.
  • SpongeBob: Yeah. Uh... script, please?
  • (Blooper 2 (Take 1) )
  • SpongeBob: Magic Conch Shell, will I ever get married? (pulls string)
  • Magic Conch Shell: M@(^%be so*%$#^day. (static sound)
  • SpongeBob: (with blank expression) Um... what?
  • (Blooper 2 (Take 2) )
  • SpongeBob: Magic Conch Shell, will I ever get married? (pulls string)
  • Magic Conch Shell: Give me a chili burrito.
  • (Blooper 2 (Take 94) )
  • SpongeBob: Magic Conch Shell, will I ever get married? (pulls string)
  • Magic Conch Shell: I don't care about you right now! I'll come back when I work on my script.
  • (Walking away can be heard meaning that the voice of the Magic Conch Shell left.)
  • (Blooper 2 (Take 95) )
  • SpongeBob: Magic Conch Shell, will I ever get married? (pulls string)
  • Magic Conch Shell: Maybe someday.
  • Patrick: The shell has spo-! Wait, that's not right. I-I mean, (victory screech)! That's not right either. The Wusty Wab! No. Hmmm... SCRIPT!!! (script flies into Patrick's face) (dazed) Thank you. (falls over)
  • (Blooper 3)
  • Patrick: Could I have this yummy, delicious, super-terrific sandwich? (pulls string)
  • Magic Conch Shell: Yes.
  • Patrick: All right! (vacuums the sandwich)
  • (The sandwich gets stuck in Patrick's throat. He starts choking.)
  • Patrick: (choking) Help! (big gulp)
  • Director: CUT!
  • (Blooper 4)
  • Squidward: Could I have something to eat? (pulls string)
  • Magic Conch Shell: No.
  • Squidward: Could I have something to eat? (pulls string)
  • Magic Conch Shell: No.
  • Squidward: Could I have something to eat? (pulls string)
  • Magic Conch Shell: No.
  • Squidward: Can't you say anything else but no? (pulls string)
  • Magic Conch Shell: Try asking again.
  • Squidward: Could I have something to eat?
  • Magic Conch Shell: No!
  • (Squidward gets really angry.)
  • SpongeBob: Squidward, are you alright?
  • (Squidward shakes his head uncontrollably.)
  • Patrick: Maybe we should ask the shell if he's okay.
  • (Squidward runs angrily towards the table.)
  • SpongeBob: Squidward! No!
  • Squidward: Aaaaaaaaah! (jumps on table) Oh! OHHHH! (eats turkey like wild animal) (snaps turkey bone on leg) Hi-yah! (slurps soup in sloppy way) (stuffs Krabby Patties in mouth) Oh! MMMMMMMM!!! Delicious! (begins slurping spaghetti quickly)
  • Director: Hey! HEY, CUT!!! (grunts) Where is that rescuer fish? (storms off)
  • (Squidward stares at the director as he walks off. Squidward slowly slurps a small piece of spaghetti.)
  • (Alternate Scene)
  • Squidward: But don't you two sad clowns come crying to me when your circus tent comes crashing down! Sad clowns... (laughs) Sad... (laughs) clowns... (laughs)
  • (Cuts to Squidward running franticallly in the dark forest.)
  • Squidward: (panting) AAAH! (camera zooms into tree with scary face) What's that? (keeps running)
  • (Squidward keeps screaming as he sees different scary things including a flock of strange-faced three-winged underwater bird creatures, vines about to grab him, wild animals, and his feet about to get grabbed by underground creatures.)
  • Squidward: Which way do I go? Oh, I'm lost! (trips over branch) (crying) Oooooh, I'm hopelessly lost! I'll never get out of here! (sees light)

My Pretty Seahorse

  • (Take 1)
  • (Squidward is riding his bike to the Krusty Krab. He sees SpongeBob riding Mystery towards him.)
  • Squidward: What the...? (gets hit) Whoa-whoa-whoa! (bike tips over) Aaah! Oof! Oooooh... My head.
  • (Take 2)
  • Squidward: (sees SpongeBob riding Mystery) What the...? (Mystery licks Squidward) Agh! Eww! (wipes his face) (goes off road) Oh no!
  • (Crashing sound is heard offscreen)
  • (Cuts to Squidward lying down with bent tentacles in the grass with his broken bike.)
  • (Deleted Scene)
  • Squidward: (sighs) SpongeBob, could you just get me my order?
  • SpongeBob: They... vanished. Squidward, do you think the Krusty Krab is... haunted? What if they come for me next? (lightning flashes)
  • (The background turns blank white and fades to a creepy-looking Krusty Krab. Cuts to the inside of the Krusty Krab. Since it was closed, there was no one else inside. No customers. No Mr. Krabs. No Squidward. Only SpongeBob was there. SpongeBob was flipping the patties nervously. Suddenly, a flash of white zips past him, stealing all of the patties on the grill.)
  • SpongeBob: Aaah! Wh-what was that?!?
  • (SpongeBob leaves the kitchen and heads into Mr. Krabs' empty, cobweb-infested office. He slowly opens the door. When he flips the lightswitch, he gasps when he hears rattling from an old treasure chest.)
  • SpongeBob: (opens the chest) Hello?
  • (Red eyes open inside the chest. SpongeBob screams and slams the chest shut. He spreadeagles against the chest and hyperventilates.)
  • SpongeBob: (stops hyperventilating) Phew! I need to go to the freezer to get some new patties. (tip-toes back to the kitchen)
  • (SpongeBob goes into the freezer. Suddenly, two ghosts with big red eyes appear in front of him. He screams and tries to get away, but he gets dragged into the freezer by the ghost. The door slams. The lightning flashes again, cutting back to a scared SpongeBob.)
  • SpongeBob: I gotta get out of here! (runs to the door)
  • Squidward: (stops SpongeBob) SpongeBob, there's no ghosts!
  • SpongeBob: Oh.

The Bully

  • (Deleted Scene)
  • (The students start cheering for SpongeBob after he had made Flatts pass out after punching him too much.)
  • SpongeBob: Do not cheer me, my fellow adult classmates. Flats was the real victim here. A victim of a society that's riding down a violent road to nowhere; a road I call... (clenches fist) ..."violence road".
  • Mrs. Puff: (walks in) Sorry I'm late, class. I... (gasps as she sees SpongeBob's fist and Flatts knocked out) SpongeBob! I can't believe you beat up a new student! (camera zooms out of boating school) I AM GOING TO KICK YOUR BUTT!!!
  • (The camera stops zooming out of Mrs. Puff's Boating School before Mrs. Puff is heard kicking SpongeBob's butt with the camera shaking. SpongeBob flies out of the boating school.)
  • SpongeBob: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! (lands on his butt)
  • (Cuts back to inside of boating school.)
  • Mrs. Puff: Good thing I got rid of him. Now then,...
  • (Someone knocks on the door.)
  • Mrs. Puff: Oh, what now? (opens the door revealing Mr. Fitz)
  • Mr. Fitz: Hello, Mrs. Puff.
  • Mrs. Puff: Hi, Mr. Fitz.
  • Mr. Fitz: Did you remember saying that no butt-kicking is allowed in this class?
  • Mrs. Puff: (sweating) Well... I....
  • Mr. Fitz: And I noticed that you have violated that rule. And according to the boating school rule book, it says if someone kicks someone else's butt in boating school, whoever kicked his or her butt will have his or her butt kicked. (Mrs. Puff gulps)
  • (Cuts back to the outside of the boating school. The camera shakes as we hear the sound of Mr. Fitz kicking Mrs. Puff's butt. She sails out of boating school.)
  • Mrs. Puff: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOA!!! (lands on her butt)
  • SpongeBob: Oh, hey, Mrs. Puff.
  • Mrs. Puff: Oh...
  • (Episode ends.)

The Idiot Box

  • (Alternate Scenes)
  • Patrick: What should we keep down?
  • Squidward: Morons.
  • SpongeBob: OUR VOICES!!!
  • Squidward: WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP?! (kicks the box)
  • (SpongeBob and Patrick are heard screaming inside the box. Squidward is worried about them.)
  • Squidward: Sponge... Bob? (pokes box)
  • (SpongeBob and Patrick scream again. Cuts to the inside of the box where they were on a snowy mountain tumbling in an avalanche. They start crying.)
  • Patrick: Hold me.
  • SpongeBob: Hang in there buddy, the chopper's on the way!
  • Patrick: SpongeBob! (cuts to Patrick's frozen legs) My legs are frozen solid! (cuts back to Patrick) You're going to have to cut them off with a saw!
  • SpongeBob: No, Patrick, I can't do that!
  • Patrick: Why not?
  • SpongeBob: Because I (cuts to SpongeBob's frozen arms in half) already cut off my own arms!
  • Patrick: NOOOOOOOO!!!
  • (Squidward opened the box. When he did, he saw SpongeBob and Patrick just sitting.)
  • (Later...)
  • (Squidward kicks the green box. Police sirens are heard.)
  • Policeman Inside SpongeBob's and Patrick's Box: Attention! We have you surrounded! Come out with your hands up!
  • Squidward: What do they want with me? What did I do? (gasps) Obviously, I've violated some new box kicking law! (walks outside with green box) Look officers, everything's OK. I won't do it again!
  • (Cuts to the inside of the box. SpongeBob, wearing a black and white suit with a black mask and cap, and Patrick, wearing a ski mask, are surrounded by police fish and police cars. Patrick was already on the motorcycle. SpongeBob was getting on.)
  • SpongeBob: (in gruff voice) You'll never take me alive, coppers!
  • (SpongeBob drives their motorcycle out of the only exit through the circle of cops. The police cars chase after them.)
  • Man: No, Johnny! Don't do it!
  • (Cuts back to the outside of the box. Squidward kicks the green box towards SpongeBob's and Patrick's box. The police sirens stop when Patrick, wearing his ski mask, and SpongeBob, wearing his burglar costume, open their box.)
  • Patrick: Whoopee! Another box! (takes green box inside and police sirens are heard again)
  • (Still Later...)
  • Announcer: And welcome back to Championship Boxing.
  • Squidward: Heh-heh, I guess this is OK. I mean, it's not really about boxes.
  • (Cuts to the TV where two boxes were fighting in the ring. Cuts back to Squidward.)
  • Squidward: I give up.
  • (Cuts to the inside of the box where SpongeBob and Patrick about to take off in a rocket dressed as astronauts.)
  • SpongeBob: 3... 2... 1... blast off! (rocket takes off loudly to outer space)
  • (Cuts back to Squidward outside the box where he hears the loud noise.)
  • Squidward: How are they doing that? That was the most realistic space launch I ever heard!
  • (Still, Still, Later...)
  • Squidward: (pacing around) How do those two work that thing? There's got to be a secret button or a switch or something! I mean, listen to that!
  • (Pirate and robot sounds are heard from the box. Cuts to the inside of the box where SpongeBob, a pirate, and Patrick, a robot, are fighting a gang of cowboy fish on the moon. Cuts to Squidward.)
  • Squidward: Now, that sounds like Robot Pirate Island!

Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy IV

  • (Blooper)
  • (The shrunken citizens of Bikini Bottom are beating up SpongeBob from the inside.)
  • Squidward: Now I have to drive five miles to go to the bathroom in my own home! (kicks SpongeBob's stomach)
  • Sandy: And now I need an elevator to punch SpongeBob's brain! HI-YAH! (punches SpongeBob's brain)
  • Mermaid Man: We've been shrinking for years!
  • Barnacle Boy: But this is ridiculous! (both kick SpongeBob's eyeballs)
  • (Dale kicks SpongeBob's pelvis, Nancy chops one of his lungs, and Larry kicks his knee. SpongeBob turns into different shapes.)
  • All: Everything's too big!
  • SpongeBob: I've got... Doy! Oh, my stomach! I-I... (coughs and chokes) I can't breathe! (holds head) Oh, I can't think. I think my heart sto... (falls over)
  • Director: Cut! Crew, we're still using the footage for the inside body fight scene! Now, can a surgeon come here? NOW?!?

Doing Time

  • (Blooper) 
  • Mrs. Puff: Guards! Guards, they're back! 
  • (The two guards walk up to Mrs. Puff.) 
  • Guard #1: What's all the hub-bub, Puff? 
  • Mrs. Puff: They're back! 
  • (The guards remove their heads to reveal it's SpongeBob and Patrick.) 
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: Mrs. Puff, it's us! (winks) 
  • Mrs. Puff: AAAAAH!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! 
  • Guard #1: What the barnacles is going on? 
  • Mrs. Puff: Get away from me! Get away! 
  • Guard #1: What are you talking about, Puff? 
  • Mrs. Puff: You can't fool me! You're SpongeBob and the guy who likes the chili! (accidentally rips the guards heads off, revealing it's SpongeBob and Patrick's faces 
  • Director: Cut! 
  • (Delete Sence) 
  • Mrs. Puff: Guards! Guards, they're back!
  • (The two guards walk up to Mrs. Puff.)
  • Guard #1: What's all the hub-bub, Puff?
  • Mrs. Puff: They're back!
  • (The guards remove their heads to reveal it's SpongeBob and Patrick.)
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: Mrs. Puff, it's us! (winks)
  • Mrs. Puff: AAAAAH!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
  • (The two real guards appear.)
  • Guard #1: What the barnacles is going on?
  • Mrs. Puff: Get away from me! Get away!
  • Guard #1: What are you talking about, Puff?
  • Mrs. Puff: You can't fool me! You're SpongeBob and the guy who likes the chili! (accidentally rips the guards' faces off, revealing their skulls)
  • Guard #1: Let's face it, Puff. You've gone off the deep end.
  • (Cuts to Guard #1 throwing Mrs. Puff (in a straitjacket) in a yellow room.)
  • Guard #1: Get in there you! You need to spend some time in solitary confinement! (slams door)
  • Mrs. Puff: (strange music begins) Huh? (turns head in different directions) What's that?
  • (Sudddenly, Mrs. Puff screams as she gets wiped out by a flood of punch. The room drains all the punch. Suddenly, a bunch of SpongeBobs come through the walls and surround Mrs. Puff.)
  • SpongeBobs: (laughing) Up you go!
  • Mrs. Puff: AAAAAAAAAAAH!!! (lands in pool of chili) Huh? What's this? (gasp)
  • (Mrs. Puff could feel a giant spoon lifting her and the chili up. Donna was holding the big spoon.)
  • Donna: (in an echoing voice) MMMM! CHILI! MY FAVORITE! (eats chili and Mrs. Puff)
  • (Mrs. Puff screams as she falls through a large chasm. There were police cars plummeting above her. Cuts to Mrs. Puff sitting in the yellow room.)
  • Mrs. Puff: Oh, phew! Thank goodness it was just a hallucination! Oh well, at least I'm safe in my nice, soft room.
  • SpongeBob: Made of sponge!
  • (The walls, floor, and ceiling turn into SpongeBob's laughing face.)

One Krabs Trash

  • (Blooper 1)
  • Fish #2: (to Mr. Krabs) (pulls out money) I'm prepared to give you $500 for that drink hat.
  • Mr. Krabs: (drools) Fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-fi...
  • Fish #3: Not so fast! (elbows Fish #2 out of way) I'll give you $1000 for such a hat.
  • Mr. Krabs: (drools even more) Aaaah.... Aaaaaaahhh....
  • Nat: I'll give you $100,000 in cash for said hat!
  • Mr. Krabs: (drools a whole lot) Aaaaaaaaaaa-(chokes on his drool) OH! (spits drool out)
  • Fish #2, #3, and Nat: EWWWW!!! (run away)
  • Director: Wait, come back! Look what you've done! You've disgusted those actors away!
  • Mr. Krabs: I'm sorry, Mr. Director. There was too much saliva!
  • Director: Well, practice your drooling somewhere else!
  • (Blooper 2 (Take 1) )
  • Mr. Krabs: (draws ghost on paper) This'll scare him. (puts paper on fishing pole) (makes scary, ghostly moaning sounds)
  • SpongeBob: OH MY GOSH! A FLOA-! (cuts to paper with Krabby Patty) Krabby patty?
  • (Blooper 2 (Take 2) )
  • SpongeBob: OH MY GOSH! A FL-! (cuts to paper with bunch of $100 bills on it)
  • (Blooper 2 (Take 3) )
  • SpongeBob: OH MY GOSH! A FLOATING-! Um... (cuts to paper with strange scribbles on it)
  • (Blooper 2 (Take 4) )
  • SpongeBob: OH MY GOSH! A FLOATING SHOPPING LIST!!! (screams)
  • Mr. Krabs: Whoa-whoa-whoa! (falls in through SpongeBob's window)
  • SpongeBob: Ah! Mr. Krabs?
  • Director: CUT!!!
  • SpongeBob: (to director) Can't you see I'm trying to get to sleep?
  • Director: NO!!!

Can You Spare a Dime?

  • (Deleted Scene)
  • SpongeBob: So, if Squidward never stole the dime, he can come back to work, right?
  • Mr. Krabs: Aye, lad, just let the dime and me have our privacy.
  • SpongeBob: YEEEEE-HOO-HOO!!!!
  • (Cuts to Squidward in his boat.)
  • Mr. Krabs: Well, Mr. Squidward, it's good to have ya back.
  • Squidward: Well, it's kind of good to be back, sir. And I guess I have an apology to SpongeBob. (to SpongeBob) I'm very sorry for taking advantage of you, SpongeBob.
  • SpongeBob: Hah! That's okay, Squidward, and I'm sorry that I got really angry.
  • Mr. Krabs: And it's all water under the bridge now.
  • Squidward: I agree, sir.

No Weenies Allowed

  • (Blooper)
  • SpongeBob: Well, it's time to kick it up a notch.
  • (SpongeBob spins his legs, then his hands. He cracked his fingers, but snapped them.)
  • SpongeBob: (crying) WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (runs to medical room in studio)
  • Director: CUT! SpongeBob, come back!  (throws megaphone and script down) This is not going to work like this!

Krab Borg

  • (Blooper)
  • TV: We now return to tonight's Creepy Time Theater presentation of "Night of the Robot."
  • (Cuts to a man being chased by a robot.)
  • Man: AAH! AAAH! AAAAH! AAH! (gets crushed by robot) (muffled) AAAAAAAAAH!!!
  • Director: CUT!!!
  • (Alternate Scene)
  • Mr. Krabs: (hears bell ring) Me hard-boiled egg is ready! (picks up pair of tongs) I can already taste it. Come to Papa. (picks up hard-boiled egg out of pot of hot water with tongs) Got ya! And what good is a hot-boiled egg without a little salt? (picks up salt)
  • SpongeBob: MR. KRABS!!!
  • (Mr. Krabs, startled by SpongeBob's yelling, accidentaly throws the salt into his eyes.)
  • Mr. Krabs: AAAAAAAAAH! OH, ME EYES!!! (reveals burnt eyes towards camera) AAAAAAAAH!!! (begins banging his head on the desk) (face smacks the window on office door) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
  • Customers: AAAAAH!!! (cuts to another close-up of Mr. Krabs' eyes) (cuts back to customers) (mumble to each other) (resume eating)
  • SpongeBob: MR....! (Squidward puts hand over SpongeBob's mouth)

Rock-a-Bye Bivalve

  • (Deleted Scene)
  • (Patrick is leaving SpongeBob, who comes outside wearing his mother-like clothing.)
  • SpongeBob: What? Where do you think you're going?
  • (Patrick goes into his rock.)
  • Patrick: I'm going to work.
  • SpongeBob: Work?! (rips off his hairpiece)
  • (Cuts to a full view of SpongeBob who rips off the dress, but then realizes he's naked and goes back inside. Then he storms out to Patrick's rock wearing square pants. He lifts up the rock, revealing Patrick watching television. Two "bonk" sounds can be heard on the TV.)
  • Patrick: (laughs) That guy got hit in the head with TWO coconuts!
  • SpongeBob: So, this is work?

Party Pooper Pants

  • (Blooper 1)
  • SpongeBob: Boom! 19 seconds! That's a new record, Lou!
  • Old Time Crowd: Hooray!
  • (A big missle explodes on the crowd.)
  • Old Time Director: Cut! We need to get a new crowd because we are going to use this footage for some cartoon coming up in seven decades!
  • (Blooper 2)
  • (SpongeBob's timer goes off.)
  • SpongeBob: My piñata! (takes piñata out of oven) (tosses piñata around because it is hot)
  • (SpongeBob falls backward to the window and accidentally drops the piñata out the window.)
  • SpongeBob: Oops.
  • Director: (offscreen) CUT!!!
  • (Blooper 3)
  • Lead Singer of The Bird Brains: Hello, Encino!
  • (The Bird Brains loud heavy metal music.)
  • Patchy: Potty, that's the worst sea shanty I've ever heard! I sure hope it doesn't get any louder. Oooooooooooooh!
  • (Heavy metal music gets louder, blasting Patchy out of his house.)
  • Patchy: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! (lands in front of house after crashing through six homes) Ooooooh......
  • Director: Cut! Patchy, you were supposed to crash through seven houses and one pole!
  • Patchy: Mr. Director, do we have to do another take? That really hurt me... and me ears.
  • Director: (in full blast voice through megaphone) YOU ARE DOING IT, IF YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!!! CAPISCHE?!?
  • Patchy: (in nervous voice) Okay, Mr. Director. (walks back to house)
  • Director: Good.
  • (Blooper 4)
  • SpongeBob: (sees plate of bacon and eggs) What's this?
  • Sandals: That's my breakfast.
  • (SpongeBob glares at Sandals. He jumps on the table and kicks the plate of bacon and eggs in Sandals' face.)
  • Director: CUT!!!
  • SpongeBob: Oh, come on!
  • (Blooper 5)
  • Scooter: (to Patrick) Dude, if you're looking for SpongeBob, he's over by the punch bowl.
  • Patrick: Thanks. (hands phone to ice sculpture of SpongeBob's head) Here you go. (puts phone in punch bowl) (gets electrocuted) YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
  • (When Patrick lets go of the phone to stop getting electrocuted, everyone else looks at him. Cuts to a burnt Patrick panting.)
  • (Blooper 6)
  • Patchy: Ready for some real music, Potty?
  • Potty: BRAWK! Ready!
  • Patchy: Oh... scurvy ain't for the likes of me, yo ho yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho... Oh!!! Yo ho yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho... OOOOOOOOHHHHH!!!! (coughs) I think me throat is a little bit (coughs again) dry.
  • (Deleted Scene)
  • (Patrick is eating all of the deviled eggs in the piñata.)
  • SpongeBob: Now they're mad at Patrick! He's hogging the deviled eggs!
  • (Cuts to Scooter riding his motorcycle inside.)
  • Scooter: Out of the way! (drives up the stairs)
  • (The motorcycle bumps into the bathroom door, opening it, revealing Mr. Krabs on the toilet.)
  • Mr. Krabs: (sees Sandals) Aah! (covers himself with newspaper)
  • Scooter: Oh, sorry, Mr. Krabs.

Chocolate with Nuts

  • (Blooper)
  • (SpongeBob knocks on Tom's door. Tom opens it.)
  • SpongeBob: Good afternoon sir. Could we interest you in some... (holds up chocolate bar) chocolate?
  • Tom: Chocolate? Did you say chocolate?
  • Patrick: Yes sir. (holds up a plain chocolate bar and a chocolate bar with nuts) With or without nuts?
  • Tom: Chocolate? CHOCOLATE?!?!? CHOCOLAAAAAAAAAAATE!!! CHOCOLAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!!! (chases SpongeBob and Patrick) CHOCOLAAAAAAAA-(stops chasing SpongeBob and Patrick and sniffs air) What's that smell?
  • (One of the crew members has a chocolate bar in his pocket. He glances down to it. Then he looks at Tom.)
  • Crew Member: Uh-oh.
  • Tom: (charges towards crew member) CHOCOLATE!!!
  • Crew Member: AAAAAAAAAAAAH!
  • Tom: (beats up crew member) CHOCOLATE!!! CHOCOLATE!!! (goes up with chocolate bar and eats it like a wild animal) CHOCOLATE!!! CHOCOLATE!!! CHOCOLATE!!! (crashes through studio wall) CHOCOLATE!!!
  • Director: CUT! (chases after Tom) Tom get back here!

Mid-Life Crustacean

  • (Deleted Scene)
  • (Mr. Krabs is leaving Bunny Buns.)
  • Mr. Krabs: You guys wouldn't know a good time if it bit you in the end! I'm going home. You guys ain't cool. You're lame!
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: Lame?
  • Mr. Krabs: Lame! You're nerds! Geeks! Creeps! And babies!
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: Not babies! (suck their thumbs)
  • Mr. Krabs: I may be old, but even an old bag of shells like me knows that you haven't suggested one cool thing all night! So good night to you! (runs back up to SpongeBob) And if you even think about doing that to me again, you're fired! (walks off)

Missing Identity

  • (Deleted Scene)
  • Mr. Krabs: Fall in for inspection! All right, you two... (inspects Squidward) Hat and uniform seem to be in order. (notices few hairs in Squidward's nose.) Hmm, promise me you'll shave tonight and you pass.
  • Squidward: Hurrah!
  • Mr. Krabs: (to SpongeBob) Okay, boy, your turn.
  • SpongeBob: (salutes) I think you'll find everything shipshape.
  • Mr. Krabs: (sniffs SpongeBob) Jumpin' jellyfish! What's that stench?
  • SpongeBob: Uh... discovery?
  • (Mr. Krabs kicks SpongeBob outside. Then he runs outside with the big, black, boot.)
  • Mr. Krabs: And you get to wear this for the rest of the day! (runs back inside)
  • (SpongeBob cries as he puts the boot on, because of its bad smell. Cuts back to him at the diner.)
  • SpongeBob: So I wore the boot for the rest of that day. And I lived through it just to tell you about how I found my name tag.
  • Waitress: (checks her watch) Well, you managed to kill eleven minutes.

The Sponge Who Could Fly (SpongeBob SquarePants Lost Episode)

  • (Blooper 1)
  • (Patchy is taking a shower. Potty flies in.)
  • Potty: Patchy! Patchy! The kids are here! (flushes the toilet)
  • Patchy: AAAH!!! (opens up curtain in panic) HOT, HOT, HOT! (slips on shower floor) Whoa! (hurts himself on bathroom floor) Oh! Me head!
  • (Blooper 2)
  • (In the Remembering SpongeBob montage, SpongeBob walks into the kitchen of the Krusty Krab, from "As Seen on TV", brings it around town, from "Bubblestand", puts a ketchup pawprint on a Krabby Patty then puts it down on a bun, from "The Chaperone", struggles with his long legs, also from "The Chaperone", separates into two pieces then joins back together, also from "Pizza Delivery", but then the montage malfunctions when it gets to the part where he stands motionless in awe, also from "As Seen on TV". The camera zooms out revealing it being recorded on a TV. The VHS player is spitting out the tape.)
  • Director: CUT! Huh? (notices VHS player's about to explode) Quick, hide!
  • Crew Member 3: Shes Gonna Blow
  • (Everyone in the studio hides before the VHS player explodes.)
  • KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
  • Director: (to crew member) What was that all about?
  • Crew Member: I don't know. There were just some popcorn crumbs. As Seen on TV is my favorite episode of SpongeBob.
  • (The director responds with strangling the crew member.)
  • (Blooper 3)
  • Patchy: Hmm... If only I had a map to tell me where the Lost Episode is.
  • (A car screeching can be heard outside and a brick smashes through the window, hitting Patchy on the head. He mutters gibberish and falls over. He doesn't get up.)
  • Director: CUT! (runs over to Patchy) Oh no, he's hurt bad! (to crew member) HEY, BOZO! YOU SHOULD BE CAREFUL WHEN THROWING BRICKS!
  • (Cuts to the crew member with a brick cannon beside him.)
  • Crew Member: Oh, sorry. Is there a doctor in the house?
  • (Two doctors come in with a stretcher and then go back out with an unconscious Patchy in the stretcher.)
  • (Blooper 4)
  • Patchy: (puts popcorn on table) Popcorn. (puts soda on table) Soda. (puts pickled garlic on table, but it breaks) Pickle- Oops.
  • (Blooper 5)
  • (Patchy is in his bedroom throwing away his SpongeBob merchandise.)
  • Patchy: I'm gonna get rid of all me SpongeBob stuff! All of it! All of it! (rips SpongeBob underwear out, loses balance) Whoa!
  • (Patchy falls over and crashes through the floor and crashes down onto Potty and the sofa. The sofa falls backwards knocking over the table with the popcorn, soda, and the pickled garlic.)
  • Patchy: (mutters) How could you, SpongeBob?
  • Director: CUT!
  • (Blooper 6)
  • SpongeBob: ♪If only I could join you there in the air. Floating free without a ca-♪ (gets stung by jellyfish) Ow!
  • Director: Cut! (sighs) Someone needs to train these jellyfish!
  • (Blooper 7)
  • SpongeBob: Ignition, check! (spins propeller) Landing gear... (kicks tire) check! Complimentary peanuts... (holds up small bag of peanuts) check-a-roo. (hops into cockpit) Ready for takeoff!
  • (SpongeBob pushes a handle foward. The plane starts sputtering. It comes to pieces. The propeller spins to a silo, cutting a hole in it. Grain spills out of it, covering SpongeBob and Patrick.)
  • Patrick: You cut a hole in Farmer Jenkins' grain silo!
  • SpongeBob: Don't remind me.
  • (The grain silo falls down and crushes SpongeBob and Patrick. Farmer Jenkins comes into the scene.)
  • Farmer Jenkins: I-(notices no one's at his farm) Hello? Hey, who broke my grain silo? Anyone here?
  • Director: CUT!!! CUT! CUUUUUUUT!!!
  • Farmer Jenkins: What? What was that?
  • Director: (facepalm)
  • (Blooper 8)
  • (SpongeBob is wearing a rubber bat costume.)
  • SpongeBob: This one's gonna fly! (stretches wings but they rip off) Oops.
  • Director: CUT!
  • (Blooper 9)
  • (SpongeBob is running from the angry mob.)
  • SpongeBob: (stops running) Huh?
  • (The camera zooms out to reveal that he had ran off a cliff. He falls.)
  • SpongeBob: AAAAAAH!!!!
  • Nat: Good riddance, dreamer!
  • SpongeBob: AAAAAAAAH!!! (lands in Mud Removal truck)
  • (The Mud Removal truck takes a sharp turn, but instead of only SpongeBob falling out, it falls along with SpongeBob. It crashes down onto a Feather Delivery Truck. They both explode.)
  • Director: CUT!!!
  • (Blooper 10)
  • SpongeBob: No, this isn't the Bird Man of Bikini Bottom. What? (blow-dryer inflates pants) No, I certainly do not live in a birdcage. Who is this? Joe Momma? Well, listen up, Joe. (Gary hides in his shell) I hate to break it to you, but flying is impo-(inflated pants burst loudly, surprising SpongeBob, Gary, and the guy on the phone) I'll talk to you later. (hangs up) (to director) This isn't part of the episode is it?
  • Director: CUT! Yep.
  • (Blooper 11)
  • SpongeBob: (flying around in inflatable pants) I'm flying! I'm flying!
  • Citizens: (Cap Fish pops up) ♪He's flying! (Nat pops out of his window) He's flying! (Miss Shell pops up, Nancy opens her door, and Tom comes out of the sewer, but a boat drives onto the sewer cap making him fall back into the sewer) He's really, really, fly-♪
  • Tom: (from in sewer) AAAAAAAAAAAAH....!
  • Director: CUT!!!
  • (Blooper 12)
  • SpongeBob: ♪I'll help Mr. Krabs reclaim his dime.♪ (drops dime in Mr. Krabs' hand)
  • Mr. Krabs: I'm rich!
  • (Cuts to a mime with completely messed-up make-up. Patrick is more scared of the mime than he was going to be in the finished episode.)
  • SpongeBob: ♪I'll save Patrick from this mi-♪
  • Patrick: AAAAAAAAH!!! (runs away)
  • Director: CUT! I want the make-up artist again!
  • Squidward: (rushes in) Did someone say make-up artist?
  • Director: Not you!
  • (Squidward sadly walks away.)
  • (Blooper 13)
  • Monroe: GET HIM!!!
  • (Everyone chases SpongeBob into downtown Bikini Bottom. SpongeBob flies past the buildings in a straight line. The crowd runs up the buildings. They chase SpongeBob to a cliff at Jellyfish Fields. As SpongeBob was flying away from them, Larry trips over, causing him, Mrs. Puff, Buddy, Squidward, the Cap Fish, Nat, Nancy, Fred, and Monroe to fall off.)
  • Fred: My leg!
  • Director: CUT!
  • (Blooper 14)
  • (The clown from Patchy's TV at the end is juggling balls, then the studio lights crash down onto him.)
  • (Blooper 15)
  • (Patchy's VCR is spitting out the tape.)
  • Potty: Brawk! Failure ahoy!
  • Patchy: No!
  • (The tape blocks the VCR opening. The VCR is still spitting out the tape from the inside. It starts swelling up.)
  • Patchy: Uh-oh.
  • Director: CUT! Look out!
  • (The director and the crew hide. Patchy is looking for a place to hide. He jumps on the sofa but he falls over with it.)
  • Patchy: Oof!
  • (The VCR finally explodes with all of the tape flying everywhere. The tape floods the living room of Patchy's house. It buries the Mariachi Band.)
  • Mariachi Band: AAAAAAH!
  • (Patchy is thrown out of his house by the overflowing tape.)
  • Patchy: Gah!
  • (Alternate Scene)
  • Patchy: Grrrrrrr.... (face turns red and smoke shoots out of his ears) SPONGEBOB BETRAYED US!!!!
  • (Cuts to a wall with SpongeBob pictures.)
  • Patchy: (offscreen) AAGH! (runs onscreen tearing the pictures off the wall and breaks a few with his fist and kneecap) I'm sorry I ever started this fan club in the first place!
  • (Patchy runs into his SpongeBob merchandise-filled bedroom and he pushes some merchandise off of his night stand. He picks up a SpongeBob lunchbox and punches it, leaving several dents in it. He breaks the glass on another piece of SpongeBob merchandise with his hook. He pushes some more SpongeBob merchandise off of a bottom blue shelf. Then he picks up some SpongeBob toys off of the top blue shelf and destroys the shelves with them. He goes to his SpongeBob plush bed.)
  • Patchy: I'm gonna get rid of all me SpongeBob stuff! All of it! All of it!
  • (As Patchy was saying the above line, he picks up a giant Gary plush and then rips it and throws it at his window, breaking it. He shoves a stuffed SpongeBob toy between one of the nightstands with a lamp on it and his bed. Then he takes another stuffed SpongeBob and tears its arms off, throws it to the floor, and stomps on it. He throws another stuffed SpongeBob to the ground and hits it with one of the broken blue shelves. Then he rips his SpongeBob underwear out and tears it to shreds.)
  • Patchy: All of it!
  • (Patchy runs back downstairs with tears in his eyes.)
  • Patchy: I'm gonna run away! That's what I'll do! Run away!
  • (Cuts to the outside of his house. Patchy runs out sobbing. He breaks through a porch banister and runs on the sidewalk. Cuts back to Patchy's living room.)
  • Potty: Sheesh, what a hothead.
  • (Deleted Scene)
  • (As SpongeBob is flying, he is leaving a rainbow path behind him. Sprinkles from the rainbow drop down from the sky into a bunch of children. Monroe sticks his tongue out and catches a sprinkle. He makes a disgusted face and pukes out a rainbow.)

The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie

  • (Blooper 1)
  • Mr. Krabs: Please settle down. We've got a situation in there. I'd rather not discuss 'til my manager gets here.
  • Fish: (off-screen) Look, there he is!
  • (A black boatmobile drives to the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob couldn't stop it in time and crashes into a rock.)
  • Director: CUT!!!
  • (Blooper 2)
  • SpongeBob: I want you to do me a favor, Phil.
  • Phil: What?
  • SpongeBob: (picks up cheese with tweezers) Say cheese.
  • (SpongeBob slowly puts the cheese on the Krabby Patty. Cuts back to the outside of the Krusty Krab. A crash was heard. Cuts to the inside of the Krusty Krab where the table had broke in half from putting the cheese on the Krabby Patty. Phil had been knocked out by a half of the table.)
  • SpongeBob: Oops.
  • Director: CUT!!!
  • (Blooper 3)
  • Squidward: SpongeBob! What are you doing in here?
  • SpongeBob: I have to tell you something, Squidward.
  • Squidward: Whatever, it is, can't it wait until we get to work?
  • SpongeBob: There's no shower at work.
  • Squidward: What do you want?
  • SpongeBob: I just wanted to say I'll be thanking you in my managerial acceptance speech today.
  • (Cuts to the outside of Squidward's house.)
  • Squidward: GET OUT!!!
  • (Squidward kicks SpongeBob out of his house. His window falls off.)
  • Squidward: My window!
  • Director: CUT!!!
  • (Blooper 4)
  • (A record playing the Goofy Goober theme song is beside SpongeBob and Patrick.)
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: (singing) Oh, I'm a Goofy Goober, yeah. You're a Goofy Goober, yeah. We're all-(rock crushes SpongeBob and Patrick) (spoken) Oof! Ow!
  • (Blooper 4)
  • Plankton: It's not fair! Krabs is being interviewed by Perch Perkins, and I've never even had one CUSTOMER!
  • (The word "customer" echoes through the Chum Bucket. Plankton groans angrily while sweating. He breaks his back.)
  • Plankton: Oh, my back! (falls down the stepladder) Ow! Ow! Ow! (falls onto floor) Ow!
  • Karen: (comes in) Don't get worked up again, Plankton. I just-(crushes Plankton)
  • (Blooper 5)
  • Plankton: (goes outside) So enjoy today, Krabs. Because by tomorrow, I'll have the formula, then everyone will eat at the Chum Bucket, AND I WILL RULE THE WO-(coughs) Not again! (coughs) I need a tiny glass of water!
  • (Blooper 6)
  • Mr. Krabs: Please welcome our new manager... Squidward Tentacles!
  • (The banner falls down revealing Squidward's face. The picture of Squidward's face falls down on Mr. Krabs.)
  • Mr. Krabs: Help! Help! I can't breathe!
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs!
  • (Mr. Krabs runs around under the picture of Squidward's face, screaming. He falls off the stage. Finally, he gets out.)
  • Mr. Krabs: (panting) Phew!
  • Director: CUT!!!!
  • (Blooper 7)
  • (Plankton is flying through the sky with a jetpack.)
  • Plankton: Time to put Plan Z into effect. Starting with the undersea castle of King... (jetpack runs out of gas) Nep... tune.... (falls down) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
  • (Blooper 8)
  • King Neptune: My crown! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! (cuts to the outside of the castle) (offscreen) Someone has stolen the royal crown!
  • (Plankton is seen flying with the crown.)
  • Plankton: I got it! I got it!
  • (Plankton flies past Goofy Goober's Ice Cream Party Boat, but the crown is so heavy, it sends Plankton falling down.)
  • Plankton: WHOA! (crash) Ohhh....
  • (Blooper 9)
  • Goofy Goober Clock: Hey, all you Goobers, it's time to say (malfunctions) how-how-hooowwww....
  • (Springs pop out of the clock. The clock's lower jaw breaks. Smoke is coming out of the clock. The kids look at each other confused.)
  • Director: CUT! (to crew member) You!
  • Crew Member: Sorry, sorry, Mr. Director! I'm just not a good clock maker.
  • Director: (sigh) We should've gotten a real clock maker.
  • (Blooper 10)
  • (SpongeBob and Patrick are eating their ice cream too much. The ice cream knocks out the waiter unconscious. SpongeBob and Patrick finish eating.)
  • SpongeBob: Oh, waiter! Waiter? (pounds on table angrily) WAITER!
  • Patrick: Ahem. (points down)
  • (SpongeBob looks behind the table and sees that the ice cream knocked out the waiter.)
  • SpongeBob: Oh.
  • (Blooper 11)
  • SpongeBob: I've got something to say about Mr. (burp) Kraaaaa..... (falls over)
  • Director: CUT!
  • (Blooper 12)
  • Patrick: Hey, I thought you didn't have a driver's liscense.
  • SpongeBob: You don't need a license to drive a sandwich.
  • (SpongeBob starts the engine, and the Patty Wagon bursts out of the Krusty Krab 2 with the words "KER-PATTY!". Suddenly, the Patty Wagon crashes down to the ground.)
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: Oof!
  • (Blooper 13)
  • Floyd: You two dipsticks ain't gonna last 10 seconds over the country line!
  • SpongeBob: Oh yeah? We'll see about that.
  • (SpongeBob and Patrick get into the Patty Wagon and pass the country line. A boat jacker walks over to them and is about to take the Patty Wagon, but then looks at Floyd and Loyd. He charges at them and beats them up.)
  • Loyd: Help!
  • Floyd: Help!
  • Director: CUT! Stop it, stop it!
  • (The boat jacker looks at the director and chases him.)
  • Boat Jacker: RAAAAARGH!
  • Director: AAAAAAAAAAH!!!
  • (Blooper 14)
  • (Dennis picks up a sesame seed and takes off his sunglasses, revealing another pair of sunglasses.)
  • Dennis: Sesame seed.
  • Floyd: Hey, mister, does that hat take ten gallons?
  • (Floyd and Loyd slap their knees and laugh. Dennis stomps over to them and rips their lips off, but they won't come off. Dennis angrily kicks Floyd and Loyd.)
  • Director: CUT!
  • (Blooper 15)
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: Hooray! Bubble party!
  • (Bubbles float around the bathroom. SpongeBob and Patrick dance in the bubbles. Patrick accidentally slips on the bubble soap and falls onto the toilet.)
  • (Blooper 16)
  • Patrick: SpongeBob!
  • SpongeBob: Yes, Patrick?
  • Patrick: Make mine a... hmm...
  • (The director pokes Patrick's shoulder. Patrick turns around and he sees the director pointing at the script.)
  • Patrick: Oh, yeah. Make mine a strawberry!
  • Director: (facepalm) CUT!
  • (Blooper 17)
  • SpongeBob: Jump for it, Patrick!
  • (SpongeBob and Patrick jump out of the Patty Wagon, which gets eaten by the Frogfish. Then, a gigantic black monster eel appears from the trench and eats the Frogfish. The eel falls onto the top where SpongeBob and Patrick were sitting, looking shocked. They look at the eel. The eel gets the rest of his body on the top and chases after SpongeBob and Patrick. The director runs after the eel.)
  • Director: Cut!
  • (The eel starts chasing the director. As it was, it destroys the film equipment. Its tail knocks the camera over. Cuts to TV color bars.)
  • (Blooper 18)
  • Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, look! Here's the way down. Well, we're not gonna get the crown standing here. On to Shell City.
  • (Patrick steps on the ladder and a monster growl is heard. Patrick loses his balance.)
  • Patrick: Whoa, whoa! (falls down) SpongeBOOOOOOOOOOOOB!
  • SpongeBob: (walks to ladder) Patrick?
  • (Growling, roaring, biting noises, punching, scratching, and Patrick screaming can be heard. A tentacle rises up from the trench with Patrick in its grip.)
  • Patrick: SpongeBob! Help!
  • Director: CUT! Hey! Let him go!
  • (The tentacle throws Patrick at the director.)
  • Patrick: Hello, Mr. Director.
  • (Blooper 19)
  • (Dennis is driving his motorcycle through a bunch of skulls. He drives into one without breaking it, causing his motorcycle to send Dennis flying into the skulls.)
  • (Blooper 20)
  • SpongeBob: Step aside, and you won't have to feel the wrath of our mustaches.
  • Dennis: You mean these?
  • (Dennis rips the seaweed mustaches off of SpongeBob and Patrick. SpongeBob and Patrick whimper as they feel their cheeks.)
  • Dennis: I thought you still had a piece of salad stuck to your lip from lunchtime. (throws seaweed to the ground)
  • SpongeBob: They were fake?
  • Dennis: Of course they were fake! This is what a real mustache looks like.
  • (Dennis removes his bandana and grows a real mustache. No mustache appears.)
  • Dennis: (facepalm) I need some mustache cream.
  • Director: CUT!
  • (Blooper 21)
  • Dennis: Don't worry. This will only hurt a lot! (laughs evilly) I love this job!
  • (A scuba diver's boot crushes Dennis. The scuba diver falls over. SpongeBob and Patrick run away just in time.)
  • (Blooper 22)
  • (A lobster squirts glue at the scuba diver. All the sea creatures start attacking the scuba diver. Mr. Puff leaps off the ceiling to get the scuba diver, but misses and hits the director's face.)
  • Director: AAAAAAH!!! GET IT OFF OF ME! GET IT OFF!!!
  • (The director rips Mr. Puff off of his face.)
  • (Blooper 23)
  • SpongeBob: Okay, let's go over the instructions. (reads instructions) Let's see, it says here, "Step One: Point bag away from home."
  • Patrick: (points bag at Shell City) Got it.
  • SpongeBob: "Step Two: Plant feet firmly on ground."
  • Patrick: (plants feet on ground) Right.
  • SpongeBob: "Step Three: Remove string from bag, releasing the winds."
  • Patrick: Check.
  • (Patrick removes the string, but the bag blows away with Patrick.)
  • Patrick: Whoa!
  • SpongeBob: That seems simple enough. Point bag away from home, feet firmly on ground, pull string, releasing the winds. Alright, let's do it for real! Are you ready, Patri-(realizes Patrick is not here) Patrick? Where are you? (looks at sky; his eyes bulge out) WHOA!
  • (Patrick is flying in the sky with the bag.)
  • Patrick: SpongeBob! Help!
  • (The bag plummets into the sea with Patrick.)
  • (Blooper 24)
  • SpongeBob: Hooray for Hasselhoff! Nothing can stop us now.
  • Patrick: Unidentified object off the hindquarters.
  • SpongeBob: It looks like... (the scuba diver's boot emerges from the ocean) Bigger boot. But how?
  • (Dennis (with cracked sunglasses) lifts the boot up, but the boot pushes him back into the ocean.)
  • Director: (on a speedboat) CUT! Dennis, you need to eat more celery!
  • (Blooper 25)
  • SpongeBob: So, yeah, I'm a kid. (dry ice smoke surrounds SpongeBob and Plankton) And I'm also a goofball. And a wing nut. And a Knucklehead McSpazatron!
  • Plankton: (coughs from the smoke) What's going on here?
  • SpongeBob: But most of all, I'm...
  • Plankton: Okay, settle down. Take it easy.
  • SpongeBob: I'm... I'm...
  • Plankton: What the scallop?!
  • SpongeBob: ♪I'm a Goofy Goober! ROCK!♪
  • (SpongeBob's singing blows Plankton, Squidward, Mrs. Puff, Sandy, the customers, King Neptune, Mindy, the director, the film crew, and Mr. Krabs out of the Krusty Krab.)
  • Director: CUT!
  • (Deleted Scene 1)
  • Plankton: It's not fair! Krabs is being interviewed by Perch Perkins, and I've never even had one CUSTOMER!
  • (Plankton is groaning and sweating. He finally snaps.)
  • Plankton: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • (Plankton pounds his fists on the floor screaming like crazy. He chews on his antenna as the entire background turns red. He screams and turns around quickly. Plankton falls over. Plankton grabs on the top of the stepladder and starts rocking it back and forth wildly. When Karen comes in, the background turns normal and Plankton calms down.)
  • Karen: Don't get worked up again, Plankton. I just mopped the floor.
  • (Deleted Scene 2)
  • King Neptune: Before I turn this conniving crustacean into fishmeal, who here has anything to say about Eugene Krabs?
  • (SpongeBob comes into the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob had too much ice cream from Goofy Goober's Ice Cream Party Boat.)
  • SpongeBob: I've got something to say about Mr. (burp) Krabs.
  • Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, me boy, you've come just in time. Please, tell King Neptune all about me.
  • SpongeBob: I have worked for Mr. Krabs for many years and always thought he was a great boss.
  • Mr. Krabs: You see? A great boss.
  • SpongeBob: I now realize that he's a great big JERK! I deserve that manager's job! But you didn't give it to me, because you say I'm a kid. Well, I am 100% MAN! And this MAN has got something to say to you.
  • (SpongeBob blows a long raspberry at Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs is shocked at first, but then gets angry at SpongeBob.)
  • SpongeBob: There, I think I made my poi-(Mr. Krabs slaps him) (snaps out of it) Oh, hey, Mr. Krabs! I bet you've changed your mind about Squidward being manager of the Krusty Krab 2, don't you think?
  • Mr. Krabs: You're fired!
  • SpongeBob: W-what?
  • Mr. Krabs: No one ever calls me a great, big jerk! You never have acted so rude to me before, but now you've had! And I was going to say sorry to you about not being manager, but nooooo, you insult me! Get out!
  • (SpongeBob runs out of the Krusty Krab 2 crying. King Neptune and the customers are confused as they look at SpongeBob running out.)
  • King Neptune: Anyone else? No? Well then.
  • (King Neptune points his trident to Mr. Krabs and it catches fire again.)
  • Mr. Krabs: AAAAH! HELP!
  • (Sandy has been watching the whole thing.)
  • Sandy: Oh no! I have to tell SpongeBob about this! (runs out of the Krusty Krab 2)
  • (Cuts to the exterior SpongeBob's pineapple house. SpongeBob runs in his home crying. Sandy is running to his house too.)
  • Sandy: SpongeBob! SpongeBob! (runs inside)
  • (Cuts to SpongeBob sobbing on his pillow. Sandy runs into his bedroom.)
  • Sandy: SpongeBob! Mr. Krabs needs you! Neptune's gonna fry him to a crisp!
  • SpongeBob: No, Sandy. I've been fired. Mr. Krabs doesn't want to see me anymore!
  • Sandy: But SpongeBob, you might as well just apologize to him!
  • SpongeBob: No, I can't!
  • Sandy: Listen, SpongeBob. Either you save Mr. Krabs, or just let him burn.
  • SpongeBob: (sniffle) Okay. I'll save him.
  • (Sandy drags him out of bed.)
  • Sandy: Come on!
  • (Sandy runs with SpongeBob to the Krusty Krab 2. King Neptune is about to shoot fire at Mr. Krabs.)
  • SpongeBob: Wait!
  • Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob!
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs!
  • (SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs hug.)
  • SpongeBob: Oh, Mr. Krabs, I'm sorry I said all those things about you.
  • Mr. Krabs: That's okay, SpongeBob. But you're gonna have to pay for those insults tho-
  • King Neptune: QUIET!!!! (shoots fire at Mr. Krabs)
  • Mr. Krabs: AAAAH! ME PANTS ARE ON FIRE!
  • (Mr. Krabs runs offscreen. He comes back wearing underwear.)
  • Mr. Krabs: ME UNDERWEAR IS ON FIRE!
  • (Mr. Krabs runs off again. He comes back, completely naked.)
  • Mr. Krabs: I'M ON FIRE!
  • (Mr. Krabs jumps into a water tub.)
  • (Deleted Scene 3)
  • SpongeBob: (blows a long raspberry at Mr. Krabs) There. I think I made my point. (gets angry) (to Squidward) And as for YOU, Mr. Tentacles, you know how much I wanted to be the manager and you took it from me! (Squidward is about to talk) No! Don't talk, Squidward! You are such a terrible person on the face of Bikini Bottom! YOU EVEN MADE ME YOUR SLAVE ONE TIME!
  • (Squidward is speechless.)

Season 4

Fear of a Krabby Patty

  • (Blooper 1)
  • (Mr. Krabs puts his 6 A.M. - 11 P.M. sign next to the doors of the Krusty Krab. He notices something out the window.)
  • Mr. Krabs: What the?
  • (Cuts to the Chum Bucket with a huge sign that says "NOW OPEN 23 HOURS!" with an arrow pointing to it.)
  • Mr. Krabs: The Chum Bucket open 23 hours?!
  • (The "NOW OPEN 23 HOURS!" sign falls onto the Chum Bucket, destroying it.)
  • (Blooper 2)
  • Mr. Krabs: As of now, the Krusty Krab is open 24 HOURS!
  • (Squidward is shocked. SpongeBob smashes through the zipped up chef's window, but then falls into Squidward's boat.)
  • SpongeBob: Whoa! Oof!
  • Squidward: Hey!
  • (Blooper 3)
  • Squidward: Mr. Krabs, can I go home yet?
  • Mr. Krabs: No one goes home!
  • Squidward: (points to the bags under his eyes) Look at these bags under my eyes. Even my bags (Squidward's eye bags fall off) have ba- Oops. Could someone put them back under my eyes? (sigh) This is embarrassing.
  • (Blooper 4)
  • Mr. Krabs: You could learn a few things from that boy.
  • Squidward: (through his teeth) Mr. Krabs, he is not normal.
  • (Cuts to SpongeBob kissing a Krabby Patty. SpongeBob's lips get stuck to the Krabby Patty. He pulls it off. Then he bangs the Krabby Patty on the stove. The Krabby Patty hits him in the face. He stumbles back and crashes through a wall.)
  • Director: CUT! Who put the sticky grease on that Krabby Patty?!
  • (Blooper 5)
  • (Old Man Jenkins is floating by during the montage.)
  • Old Man Jenkins: Wait, what's going on? (strings holding him up breaks) WHA! (falls in the ocean)
  • (Blooper 6)
  • Mr. Krabs: Day... (record scratch) Anyone know how many days it's been? I've lost track.
  • Squidward: (wheezes) 43. (his head inflates, but then explodes)
  • (Squidward's head explosion snaps SpongeBob out of his trance.)
  • SpongeBob: WHOA! (falls over)
  • Director: Cut! Surgeon!
  • Surgeon: (walks up to director) Yes, Mr. Director?
  • Director: Please take Squidward into the surgery room to get his head fixed.
  • Surgeon: I'm on it.
  • (The surgeon picks up Squidward's body and carries him to the surgery room.)
  • (Blooper 7)
  • Plankton: Now, tell me what you see?
  • SpongeBob: I see giant Krabby Patties.
  • Plankton: Good, and what are they made of? (starts recording on a voice recorder)
  • SpongeBob: Hatred!
  • Plankton: No, I mean ingredients. What are the stinking ingredients?
  • SpongeBob: They're coming for me. No! No! No! Stay back! (holds up a piano)
  • Plankton: Wait, where'd you get that piano?
  • (SpongeBob's arms start quivering. Suddenly, the piano falls on SpongeBob.)
  • Director: CUT!!!
  • (Blooper 8)
  • SpongeBob: Where am I?
  • (The lights turn on and SpongeBob is in his bed. A giant Krabby Patty walks in. The giant Krabby Patty got closer and closer. When it got to SpongeBob's bed, it kept bumping into it.)
  • Director: CUT! (sigh) We really need to work out the bugs on this animatronic Krabby Patty.

The Lost Mattress

  • (Blooper 1)
  • (As Mr. Krabs is about to unlock the door, his back breaks.)
  • Mr. Krabs: ARGH! Me back!
  • SpongeBob: Are you hurt, Mr. Krabs?
  • Mr. Krabs: No. I'm just doubled over in pain fighting back tears-(falls over and cracks his neck) AAH! My neck!
  • (Blooper 2)
  • SpongeBob: I've never seen so many mattresses.
  • Patrick: Yeah.
  • SpongeBob: How many do you think there are?
  • Patrick; Hmm... (looks around) Umm... I forgot my line.
  • (Blooper 3)
  • Mattress Store Owner: There's plenty more than that.
  • (From out of nowhere, the Silentnight Hippo and Duck appear along with their children, Brother Hippo, Sister Duck, and Baby Hippo (from the My First Bed commercial).)
  • Duck: That's nothing! Come look at our mattresses! We have these soft and comfy mattresses called Miracoil mattresses from Silentnight!
  • Brother Hippo: And they're fun to bounce on!
  • (Sister Duck and Baby Hippo are bouncing on a Miracoil mattress.)
  • Sister Duck: Whee!
  • Baby Hippo: YAY! Bouncy! Bouncy!
  • Hippo: So will you buy our mattress?
  • SpongeBob: Um...
  • Director: CUT! CUT! Hippo! Duck! Brother Hippo! Sister Duck! Baby Hippo! What the heck are you doing here?! You know you should be back at London selling your own mattresses!
  • Hippo: Okay, okay, we'll go!
  • (Hippo, Duck, Brother Hippo, and Sister Duck leave Bikini Bottom. Baby Hippo is slowly crawling after them. Duck takes Baby Hippo and goes back to the rest.)
  • (Blooper 4)
  • Squidward: Oh, I see. You're just kissing up to the boss to make me look bad. Well, I won't stand for it. Gimme that card. (takes card and starts scribbling on it) Trying to outsmart me, will ya-(card rips from Squidward's scribbling)
  • SpongeBob and Patrick: (gasp)
  • Squidward: Oops.
  • Director: CUT!!!
  • (Blooper 5)
  • Mr. Krabs: Me mattress seems strangely cozy and butter-like... (falls asleep)
  • (Mr. Krabs sinks through the mattress. He wakes up and leaps out coughing and hyperventilating.)
  • Director: CUT!
  • SpongeBob: Oops. Wrong mattress.
  • (Blooper 6)
  • Doctor: Oh no, this is horrible.
  • Nurse: What is it, doctor?
  • Doctor: This man has no insurance.
  • Nurse: He'll never be able to afford this room!
  • Doctor: You're right, nurse. Extract the patient to the hallway. Stat!
  • (Mr. Krabs is pushed to the snack machine on his hospital bed. The snack machine breaks and falls on him.)
  • Director: CUT! You pushed him too fast!
  • (Blooper 7)
  • SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick, I think I can see our houses from here.
  • Patrick: Where? I can't see them.
  • (The fence flips around. The fence pushes the guard worm out of the junkyard and onto the director's face.)
  • Director: AAAAAGH! GET IT OFF MY FACE!
  • (Blooper 8)
  • Administrator Flotsam: Excuse me, doctor.
  • Doctor: Administrator Flotsam, what can I do for you?
  • Administrator Flotsam: It has come to my attention that your patient, Mr. Krabs, is outsi-(doctor falls into his big mouth) AH! Hey!
  • (Blooper 9)
  • Squidward: Alright, you two, what's the holdup?
  • SpongeBob: (from inside port-a-potty) We feel silly.
  • Squidward: Come on, do it for old man Krabs!
  • SpongeBob: (from inside port-a-potty) Okay.
  • (SpongeBob and Patrick walk outside in steak costumes. They fall over. Squidward, the filming crew, and the director start laughing.)
  • Director: Okay, I've got to admit, THAT was pretty funny.
  • SpongeBob: We're going back in.
  • Patrick: Yeah.
  • (SpongeBob and Patrick go back inside the port-a-potty.)

Krabs vs. Plankton

  • (Deleted Scene)
  • (SpongeBob drops a dollar in a blender. Mr. Krabs gasps. SpongeBob presses the "obliterate" button on the blender. The dollar starts to be shredded.)
  • Mr. Krabs: NOOO! No-no! No!
  • (Mr. Krabs runs and grabs the blender. He starts grabbing the pieces of the shredded dollar from the air)
  • Mr. Krabs: Daddy's got ya. Daddy's here. (the jury talks amongst themselves and SpongeBob tries to look innocent) A little glue, a little tape. It'll be right as rain. (walks off, but then comes back to pick up a stranded dollar piece) Daddy didn't forget ya. (walks off, but then comes back again to SpongeBob) Don't do that again, or you're fired. (leaves SpongeBob)
  • SpongeBob: (chuckles nervously)

Have You Seen This Snail?

  • (Blooper 1 (Take 1))
  • SpongeBob: "Take the Dirty Bubble Challenge! Hit the paddleball 29,998,559,677-" Oops! (laughs) I got it wrong!
  • (Blooper 1 (Take 2))
  • SpongeBob: "29,998,555-" (laughs) Got it wrong again! (laughs again)
  • (Blooper 1 (Take 3))
  • SpongeBob: "29,96-" (laughs)
  • (Blooper 1 (Take 4))
  • SpongeBob: "23-" (laughs wildly)
  • Director: CUT! SpongeBob, why are you always getting your lines wrong?
  • SpongeBob: I-I'm so sorry, Mr. Director! It's just a big number! (laughs)
  • (Blooper 2)
  • SpongeBob: How long was I taking the Dirty Bubble challenge?
  • Patrick: About a week.
  • SpongeBob: A week? Are you sure?
  • Patrick: Hmmm... well...
  • (Patrick pours the glass of milk upside down. It had been turned into squishy, solid milk. It falls to the floor. One of the crew members' cat runs in, takes the solid milk, and runs off with it.)
  • Director: Cut!
  • Crew Member: Get back here, Whiskers!
  • (Blooper 3)
  • Squidward: What are those Neanderthals up to? Don't they know I'm busy spoiling myself? (SpongeBob and Patrick barge into Squidward's bathroom) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! AAAAAAAAAAA- AAAAAAH! IS THAT A CAMERA?!?! AAAAAAAGH!
  • (Squidward tries to escape by running in his bathtub. He kicks a chunk of his bathtub away. It hits SpongeBob and Patrick. Squidward slips and falls over. He tries running in his bathtub again, but he and his bathtub crash through a window.)
  • Squidward: AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! (crash)
  • SpongeBob: Squidward, are you okay?
  • (Blooper 4)
  • Gramma: Come on, Miss Tuffsy, let's do the boogie-woogie. (as she's dancing, she breaks her back) Oh! (falls over) Miss Tuffsy? Anyone? Help Gramma get back up.
  • (Blooper 5)
  • Evelyn: Yeah, I'd like a refund for this Krabby Patty.
  • Mr. Krabs: Refund?! What's wrong with it?
  • Evelyn: Oh, nothing really, except it's covered in tears! (shows Krabby Patty covered in tears, but the tears make the patty slippery, so it falls off)
  • Director: CUT!!!
  • (Blooper 6)
  • (Patrick is sleeping on the ground. A bunch of office products fall on him and hurt his belly.)
  • Patrick: OWW! SpongeBob! That was too hard!
  • SpongeBob: Sorry, Patrick.
  • (Blooper 7)
  • SpongeBob: I can't cry anymore, Patrick. When Gary left, he took all my tears with him.
  • Patrick: Did you just say Gary? SpongeBob, I just remembered earlier today at the craft store, I saw... (picks up balsa wood) these huge chunks of balsa wood-(balsa wood crushes Patrick) OW! And I just got my belly fixed!

Skill Crane

  • (Deleted Scene)
  • SpongeBob: Hang on, buddy. I got ya. (uses crane to get Squidward, but grabs prize instead) I guess I can only pick up toys.
  • Squidward: (workers growl) Uh-oh.
  • (All the workers leap on Squidward and start attacking him. Cuts to a worker punching Squidward in the face. Another worker pushes Squidward away with his rock hard abs. Another worker kicks Squidward. Another worker squishes Squidward with his foot. Another worker grabs Squidward by his neck and throws him up in the air.)
  • Workers: (cheering)
  • Squidward: AAAAAAH!!!!
  • (Squidward lands on the crane's arm.)
  • Squidward: Ouch.
  • (Episode ends.)

Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture

  • (Deleted Scene)
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, what is that?
  • Patrick: Oh, it's a camera.
  • SpongeBob: No, Patrick, this. (takes off lens cap)
  • Patrick: Oh, that's a lens cap.
  • SpongeBob: Did you just put that on?!
  • Patrick: Yup, I didn't want to lose it so I put it there right before we started filming.
  • SpongeBob: AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!! (crawling on ground) AAAAAAHHHH! AH! AH! (scootching butt on ground) AH! AH! AH! AH! (hyperventilating)
  • (SpongeBob rips a chunk out of the ground.)
  • SpongeBob: AAAH!
  • (SpongeBob starts slurping worms from the chunk. Everyone else gasps. SpongeBob starts puking everywhere and starts making angels in his puke. He rolls around puking some more.)
  • Everyone (except SpongeBob): EWWWWW!!!!
  • SpongeBob: (crying) The movie's ruined! We can't make a movie.

SquidBob TentaclePants

  • (Blooper)
  • Therapist: So, what seems to be the problem, Mr. Tentacles?
  • Squidward: It all started... when I was born.
  • (The camera zooms out on Squidward's face to reveal a huge blob with Patrick, Sandy, Mr. Krabs, Mrs. Puff, Pearl, Larry, and SpongeBobb on him. Suddenly, the blob was too heavy, it collapses the therapy couch.)
  • Sandy: EEEK!
  • Pearl: AAAAAH!
  • Squidward: WHAAAA!
  • Therapist: (gasp) Oh my goodness!

Whale of a Birthday

  • (Blooper 1)
  • Pearl: It's my 16th BIRTHDAY!!!!!!
  • (Pearl's yelling shakes up Mr. Krabs' house. Mr. Krabs' house falls apart.)
  • Mr. Krabs: (gasp) Me house!
  • Director: CUT!!! Pearl, you were yelling too loud!
  • (Deleted Scene)
  • Pearl: You bought me a boat?
  • Mr. Krabs: I did? I mean...I did?
  • Friends: Wow.
  • Pearl: Oh, look! There's the sea pony I wanted! I can't wait to ride it!
  • Sea Pony: AAAH! (runs off)
  • Pearl: Oh, daddy, I don't know how it could get better than this.

All That Glitters

  • (Blooper)
  • Customer #3: Uhh, can I get one krabby patty, Please?
  • Squidward: SpongeBob, I need one krabby patty.
  • SpongeBob: [back in the kitchen] One krabby patty, coming up lick split. [uses Le Spatula but every time he flips the patty, the spatula goes another direction] Spat, is there something wrong, pal?
  • Le Spatula: I would not dare touch such slop as how do you say krabby patty. I am designed for the up most interesing cuisine. No less!
  • SpongeBob: But, but, I thought we were friends.
  • Le Spatula: Friends with you?! Ha! We are not even in the same social class. [jumps out of SpongeBob's arms and extends it legs to land on the floor] Have a nice life of mediocrity, Fry Cook-!(malfunctioning) Fry Cook-! Fry Cook-!(breaks down)
  • Director: CUT!
  • (Deleted Sence)
  • Doctor: Oh, by the way, that's not your spatula. Your buddy's all patched up in the infirmary.
  • (Spat is in a wheelchair at the infirmary.)
  • SpongeBob: (gasps) Spatula! (runs into the infirmary) Oh, buddy! Oh, I'm so glad you're better! (Spat turns around and ignores SpongeBob) Spatula, what's wrong? (Spat shakes his head) But I didn't mean to betray you!
  • Spat: (gets up from wheelchair) (talking) YOU DID BETRAY ME, YOU LIAR!
  • SpongeBob: Spatula? You can talk?
  • Spat: Yes, I can! When I moved like that, you should've known I could talk!
  • SpongeBob: But, Spatu—
  • Spat: SHUT IT! One more word and I'll—
  • SpongeBob: But, Spatula—
  • (Spat leaps on top on SpongeBob and starts beating him up. Spat gets off of him and walks away from him.)
  • SpongeBob: But Mr. Krabs needed a replacement.
  • Spat: Ah, you and your Mr. Krabs junk!
  • SpongeBob: Krabby patties don't flip themselves, you know!
  • Spat: Just shut up!
  • SpongeBob: It was a moment of weakness. I'm sorry!
  • Spat: NOPE! (Spongebob starts crying)

The Thing

  • (Deleted Scene 1)
  • SpongeBob: You leave Smelly alone. He's just a poor, dumb wild animal.
  • Animal Control Officer: Wild animals don't belong here, son. They belong in the zoo. Get him, boys!
  • (A big cane grabs SpongeBob and pulls him away. The animal control grabs Squidward and takes him into a truck that goes to the zoo. He is next to a giant clam in the truck. The giant clam starts snapping at Squidward. It gets Squidward in his mouth and tries to eat him. Squidward tries to get out of his mouth. The clam starts crunching on Squidward. Cuts to SpongeBob running after the truck.)
  • SpongeBob: Smelly!

Wigstruck

  • (Alternate Scene)
  • Record Producer: Well, well, Ned and the Needlefish. Beat it, you're fired.
  • Band: Fired?!
  • Band Member #2: But why?
  • Record Producer: Ask Baldy McBaldyson over here.
  • Band: Ned!
  • Band Member #2: Good going, dude.
  • Ned: I can't help not having hair!
  • Band Member #3: When we formed this band, it was for one reason and one reason only: to make a lot of money. And you not having hair is getting in the way of that!
  • Ned: Why are you blaming me? It's your fault! You lost my hair!
  • Band Member #3: Oh yeah.
  • Band Member #2: Yeah.
  • Band Member #3: Right.

Best Frenemies

  • (Deleted Scene)
  • (SpongeBob is at home drinking more of his Kelp Shake. He had finished the whole bottle.)
  • SpongeBob: Oh. There's no more. I guess I'll throw it away.
  • (SpongeBob throws the bottle in the trash can.)
  • SpongeBob: Ah, time to relax.
  • (Suddenly, a small patch of green hair grows on SpongeBob's arms. SpongeBob wakes up.)
  • SpongeBob: I feel so itchy. (gasp) What's this?!
  • (SpongeBob starts whimpering as more green hair grows all over him. It rips all of his clothes off.)
  • SpongeBob: (gasps) (cuts to outside of SpongeBob's pineapple house) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Best Day Ever

  • (Alternate Scene)
  • SpongeBob: (gasps) A reserved seat? Next to my friends? I made it! All I have to do is sit down...
  • (Everyone applauds as the curtains close. SpongeBob completely loses it.)
  • SpongeBob: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (jumps on stage and tears the curtain) No! It is not over!
  • Fish: Huh?
  • SpongeBob: This was supposed to be my perfect day. But then everything... (a fish gets up and is about to leave) SIT DOWN!!! (the fish sits back down) Then everything turned to doo-doo. (Mr. Krabs, Sandy, Patrick, and Squidward go to him)
  • Mr. Krabs: It's okay, SpongeBob.
  • SpongeBob: No, it's not okay! This has been the worst day ever! (runs off crying)
  • Patrick: Wow. We sure made SpongeBob unhappy.
  • Mr. Krabs: We've got to do something to help him out. Hey, I've got the perfect idea! (huddles up with Sandy, Patrick, Squidward, and the crowd and starts whispering)
  • (Cuts to SpongeBob walking home sadly.)
  • SpongeBob: (sigh) Everything has gone so wrong. (pulls out a harmonica and plays The Best Day Ever sadly on it) Oh well, at least I'm back home.
  • (SpongeBob opens his door and...)
  • Everyone (except SpongeBob): SURPRISE!!!!
  • SpongeBob: Whoa! What's this?
  • Sandy: We decided to give you the best day ever SpongeBob! Look!
  • Mr. Krabs: I'm giving you some Krabby Patties to flip!
  • Sandy: And we're doing some karate chopping!
  • Patrick: And we're going jellyfishing!
  • Squidward: And you get to hear my wonderful music!
  • SpongeBob: Wow! This is going to be the best day ever!
  • (Everyone cheers. The Best Day Ever song plays as SpongeBob flips Krabby Patties, karate chops with Sandy, catches jellyfish with Patrick, and listen to Squidward's clarinet music. The next morning, SpongeBob wakes up.)
  • SpongeBob: (yawns) Wow! (zooms out on him revealing everyone passed out) This has been the best day ever!

Season 5

Friend or Foe

  • (Blooper 1)
  • Patchy: (reading piece of paper) One order of scurvy fries, one large bilge water.
  • Mr. Pirateson: Arrrrrrrrrgh! Arrrrrrrrrrgh!
  • Patchy: Oh, I'm sorry. Diet bilge water. Better get on it, sir. (accidentally pokes himself with his hook) OWWWWW! (falls over) Ohhhhhh! The pain!
  • Director: CUT!
  • (Blooper 2)
  • Patchy: This'll blow out your old bird brain of yours. Behold! The Patchy Patty!
  • (Patchy reveals a patty with a ripped eyepatch, a cut pickle eye, a messed up mustard mouth, and a beard about to fall off.)
  • Patchy Patty: (garbled) Ohloyy!
  • (The beard falls off.)
  • (Blooper 3)
  • Patchy: Potty Parrot, you're never supportive of me! (runs to door crying) I don't wanna be your friend anymore- (falls over) WAAAAH! (slams to ground) (sobbing)
  • Director: Cut!
  • (Blooper 4)
  • (SpongeBob snatches the Krabby Patty formula with his tongue. As he gets the Krabby Patty formula into his mouth, he starts choking on it.)
  • SpongeBob: AGH! (coughing) Help!
  • (From out of nowhere, Patrick barges into the Krusty Krab running to SpongeBob.)
  • Patrick: I'll save you!
  • (Patrick leaps on and off of a table. He puts on his Barnacle Boy costume while flying in the air. He does a grand slam on SpongeBob, and he spits out the Krabby Patty Formula. The Krabby Patty Formula bounces off of Mr. Krabs and the ceiling. It falls straight down to Plankton.)
  • Plankton: (laughs evilly) (gets crushed by Krabby Patty Formula)
  • (Blooper 5)
  • (In a flashback on Mr. Krabs' 3rd birthday, Plankton is on Mr. Krabs' tongue about to blow the candles out, but then falls onto the cake.)
  • Kid Mr. Krabs: (gasps)
  • Director: Cut!
  • (Blooper 6)
  • Stinky: Okay, let's just meet in the middle and say you lih-splecrt me-AGH! I can't get my line right!
  • Director: CUT!
  • (Blooper 7)
  • Patchy: I miss Potty. I remember the first time we met.
  • (Patchy holds up a picture of a little version of himself panicking as baby Potty nearly flies into the oven as Patchy's mother puts in her special salty clam pie.)
  • Patchy: Oops! Wrong picture! (throws picture away) (pulls out picture of baby Potty pecking at little Patchy's butt) This is the first ti-D'oh! Wrong picture again! (throws picture away)
  • (Patchy frantically looks around through his embarrassing and shocking childhood pictures to find the picture of little Patchy holding an egg where baby Potty is in. A picture of little Patchy flying out of the window with baby Potty flying away from him to avoid getting crushed falls on Patchy's knee.)
  • Patchy: OWW! WHOA! (falls and kicks over table)
  • (As Patchy falls, his childhood pictures fall out of the box and land on Patchy.)
  • Patchy: Ohhh... (a picture of little Patchy desperately trying to grab a vase that baby Potty knocked over falls on his face)
  • (Blooper 8)
  • Potty: You've got rats in the kitchen!
  • Patchy: Oh, I brush and shampoo them daily. Who's Patchy's little princess? (rat bites him) Owwwwwwwww! Mmmmmm! Don't do that! (rat hisses at Patchy) You shouldn't be behavin' that! (rat leaps on Patchy and attacks him) AAAAAH! Potty! Potty, help!
  • Potty: Okay!
  • (Potty flies to Patchy, but the rat lunges at Potty.)
  • Potty: AGH! (flies away)
  • (The rat goes back to attacking Patchy.)
  • Patchy: AAAAAAAHHHH!
  • Director: CUT! CUT! Someone get an ambulance!
  • (Blooper 9)
  • Kid Plankton: I'm terribly sorry, Eugene, I couldn't hear you. Could you come closer? Maybe stand on the tile in front of you?
  • Kid Mr. Krabs: Which one? The one that says "Eject" or the one that says "Trap Door"?
  • Kid Plankton: Oh, either one will do.
  • Kid Mr. Krabs: What I was saying was...
  • (Kid Plankton pulls a string that launches Kid Mr. Krabs out of the restaurant.)
  • Kid Mr. Krabs: You'll regret this one dayyyyyy!
  • (Instead of flying into some trash, Mr. Krabs flies straight up all the way into space. He falls back down when he hits the moon. He crushes Plankton with his bottom when he lands.)
  • Director: CUT!
  • (Blooper 10)
  • Kid Mr. Krabs: First, I'll rule their stomachs, and then... um... line?
  • (Blooper 11)
  • Patchy: (sees a gorilla and gasps)  What? They let a smelly, hairy, flea bag like that serve food?
  • Gorilla: OHHHHHHH! OHHHHHHHH! OHHHH-(falls over and head comes off)
  • (Patchy trips over the gorilla's head.)
  • (Deleted Scene)
  • Patchy: Potty Parrot, you are never supportive of me! (runs to door crying) I don't wanna be your friend anymore! (runs out of kitchen)
  • Potty: Brawk!
  • Patchy: (angrily) I never wanna see you again! 
  • Potty: Brawk! Patchy, no!
  • (Patchy leaps through the order window screaming, and starts beating Potty up. He throws Potty's head down on the floor. He slams his fist down on Potty's leg.)
  • Potty: OW!
  • (Patchy kicks Potty away and runs off crying as Potty starts crying too.)

Waiting

  • SpongeBob: Look, Patrick, Squidward fixed it.
  • (SpongeBob and Patrick run over to Squidward and hug him.)
  • SpongeBob: How can we ever thank you?
  • Patrick: Yeah, how can we thank you? (giggles)
  • Squidward: Move to another neighborhood.
  • (SpongeBob and Patrick laugh as Squidward goes back in his house.)
  • Patrick: Well, have fun with your toy, SpongeBob! See you later! (goes back into his rock)
  • SpongeBob: See ya! (to himself) (sighs) I am going to have so much fun with this toy.
  • Sandy: (loudly) AHEM!
  • SpongeBob: (gasps and sees Sandy) Oh, (chuckles nervously) hi, Sandy. (Sandy grabs his arm)  Whoa!
  • Sandy: This is what you're gonna get for flipping me.
  • SpongeBob: (gulps)
  • (Sandy starts slamming SpongeBob into the ground repeatedly until she throws SpongeBob into his house.)
  • Sandy: Stop being such a jerk! (walks off)
  • (Gary slithers over to SpongeBob.)
  • SpongeBob: Hi, Gary.
  • (Gary gets mad and slithers over SpongeBob's teeth which play like a piano.)
  • (Episode ends.)

Boat Smarts

  • (Blooper 1)
  • Narrator: This driving film is brought to you by: C.O.B.B.U.T.K.S.B.S.P.O.T.A.R.L-Oh, I got my line wrong!
  • Dircetor: CUT!
  • (Blooper 2)
  • Mrs. Puff: Today, we'll be discussing the differences between a driver with boat smarts.
  • (Cuts to Squidward in a pilot uniform.)
  • Squidward: Ripping good day for a spot of driving.
  • (Cuts back to Mrs. Puff.)
  • Mrs. Puff: And a driver without boat smarts.
  • (Cuts back to Squidward. SpongeBob slides over to him upside down, but then falls over, knocking Squidward over.)
  • Squidward: AAGH! Oof!
  • Director: CUT!!!
  • (Blooper 3)
  • Squidward: AAAAHHHHH!
  • Director: (whispering, to crew member) Cue footage.
  • Crew Member: (whispering) Okay!
  • (Squidward crashes into the brick wall cutting to live-action footage from the 1960's of a Japanese crash test dummy with Squidward's head in place. Suddenly, the footage goes all distorted.)
  • Director: What the-?! (turns off footage) What was that?!
  • Crew Member: (eating popcorn) Oh, sorry. (chuckles) I got grease and crumbs on the film.
  • Director: Will you keep your popcorn away from the film of the live-action footage for now?! Okay, let's take it from the top!
  • Squidward: (emerging from the rubble of bricks and boat wreck) Take it from the top? (falls to the road) You can't do that! I've already got a broken tentacle! Sheesh, I guess some squids were harmed during the making of this.

New Digs

  • (Blooper 1)
  • SpongeBob: (running) Oh my gosh, only twenty seconds to go! What the...?
  • (SpongeBob sees that the bridge ahead is out.)
  • SpongeBob: Bridge out?!
  • (SpongeBob leaps over the gap. As he reaches the other side, he trips over the barrier, and rolls to Nancy, Abagail, and Shelly playing hopscotch.)
  • Director: CUT!!!
  • (Blooper 2)
  • (Deleted Scene)
  • (Patrick is walking out of the kitchen.)
  • Patrick: Thanks, SpongeBob. (points to his back)
  • (Cuts to a close-up of Patrick's back accompanied by a woman's scream. Cuts back to Patrick.)
  • Patrick: If I could reach it, I'd do it myself.
  • (All the customers run out in disgust.)
  • Mr. Krabs: Me customers! (crying) Gone! Gone! Gone!
  • (Mr. SquarePants and Mrs. SquarePants (who is wet and wearing towels) leave the Krusty Krab. Mrs. SquarePants hits Mr. Krabs with her brush.)
  • Mr. Krabs: Ow! (Mrs. SquarePants leaves again)

Season 9

Squirrel Record

  • Sandy: (Sandy finds a record saying 'World's Fattest Body' Then Spongebob gets a helium tank) Here we Go! The World's Most Fattest Body is getting better then Texas!
  • SpongeBob: (Spongebob puts the hose into Sandy's mouth and turns on the helium tank, inflating her like a balloon) Wow Sandy! That is even better then eating Krabby Patties!
  • Patrick: Hey! There's a new balloon over at Sandy's Treedome!
  • SpongeBob: No Patrick! STOP! (Patrick turns on the helium tank on full blast then Sandy gets shot off the helium tank and blows away like a balloon. She lands on the ground, which gives her a black eye.)
  • Spongebob: That's another record broken, Sandy! (Sandy smiles and winks)
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