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School Dazed is the episode of the first season of The Phoenix Defenders.

Summary

The Phoenix Defenders are trying to survive their first day of school.

Quotes

  • Hunter Jonas/Cursechanter: So now that we're the current Star Guardians, i suggest-

Maya Martinez: Shhh... i'm trying to watch Krypto the Superdog.

Hunter Jonas/Cursechanter: Whatevs, Like i was saying, I suggest-

TV: HE'S KRYPTO, KRYPTO THE SUPERDOG. KRYPTO, RUFF, RUFF AND AWAY. KRYPTO, KRYPTO THE SUPERDOG. SEE THAT SUPERDOG, FLYING THROUGH THE AIR, HE'S GOT SUPERPOWERS. BAD GUYS BEWA-

Hunter teleports in front of Maya and punches the TV.

Hunter Jonas/Cursechanter: THERE! NOW NO ONE'S WATCHING KRYPTO THE SUPERDOG! NOW SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY!

Maya Martinez:... KRYPTO, KRYPTO THE SUPERDOG! Okay, i'm done! (left the room)

Hunter Jonas/Cursechanter: Where was i? Oh yeah, the point is that since we're all the current Star Guardians, we can finally use our powers in public, fight crime, preserve law and order. And since we're new to this whole superhero nuisance, i think it's best that we should learn good moral guidance by using our powers responsibly.

  • Katelyn: Aeolus! Where were you yesterday! You promised to hold my bags for me at the mall! You know how much shopping i missed!

Aeolus Rowan:How much?

Katelyn: 15 minutes! My 6 hours of shopping was ruined by you, you bumbling baboon!

Aeolus Rowan:How can i make it up to you?

Katelyn: You can come to the mall with me today! Ramone and I are going shopping!

Aeolus Rowan:Who's Ramone? Oh, is he your stylist or is he that gay guy from homeroom?

Katelyn: He's both. Now i heard rumors saying that you're in love with Crasherna. I don't want you flirting with her!

Aeolus Rowan:(mentally while rolling his eyes)Like you don't flirt with a million guys.(not mentally) I wish i would but i was never your boyfriend...so...no.

  • Ezekiel Sanders:So do you do any sports?

Maya Jelani: I do volleyball at school and basketball out of school. My dad makes me do it. He's the coach here. You probably know him. He goes by the name Coach Donovan Jelani.

Ezekiel Sanders:Oh wow, really?! The next time i see your dad in practice, I'll tell him that he has a really smart, beautiful and sporty daughter.

Maya Jelani: I only play basketball because we have a whole court in our garden! Besides i'm not beautiful!

Ezekiel Sanders:Yeah, you're the most beautiful girl in this class Sheila.

Sheila Jelani: Really?

Ezekiel Sanders:Yep.

Sheila Jelani: Hey, what are you doing tonight?

Ezekiel Sanders:Nothing...why?

Sheila Jelani: Well, maybe you could shoot some hoops in my backyard...if ya like?

Ezekiel Sanders:Yeah, sure.

Sheila Jelani: Cool.

  • Ezekiel Sanders: Hi Sheila! I was thinking that maybe we could shoot some hoops out back.

Sheila Jelani: Oh, hey Ezekiel! Sure, follow me.

  • Miss Yepp: Alright class! Now that you are all seated-(sighs)What is it now Katelyn?

Katelyn:(dramatically)Miss Yepp, i sort of like...BROKE MY NAIL!

The other cheerleaders gasped in shock

Miss Yepp: And what has that got to do with this lesson?

Katelyn: Miss Yepp! It's a serious cosmetic disaster! Can you call 911?

Miss Yepp: Whatever...I won't give you detention as today is the first day back.

Katelyn: But-

Miss Yepp: No buts! All of you take out your exercise books!

  • Donovan Jelani: GIRL! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT TIME IT IS?! WHERE ARE YOU?! YOU SAID YOU WOULD BE INSIDE THE HOUSE BY NINE! IT'S 2 MINUTES PAST NINE! OOOH BABY, YOU ARE SO COMIN' HOME RIGHT NOW!

Sheila Jelani: But dad-

Donovan Jelani: NOW!

  • Weston:Hey freak! (Skye ignored him)Hey, i'm talking to you!

Skye Rowan:And?

Weston:Aren't you gonna say hi back?

Skye Rowan;No.

Weston:Well, you should because i said so.

Skye Rowan:Never in a million years, Weston.

Weston:Oh come on, i know you're still in love with me.

Script

Ezekiel Sanders:(sleepily) Morning Vanessa.

Vanessa merely glared in reply as she went about fixing herself some herbal tea.

Mallory Black: DEVANIE! Hurry up or we'll be late!

Mallory walked in and over to the toaster to heat a pop tart. Turning, she gave Devanie a nasty grin.

Devanie Black:I'm in the kitchen!

Mallory Black:We'll still be late if you don't hurry.

Devanie Black:Little witch.

Mallory Black:Big witch.

Devanie Black:I hate you.

Mallory Black:I love you too.

Skye Rowan:YOU KNOW WHAT MR. STEPS! I WILL GET YOU! SERIOUSLY! WATCH OUT! I CURSE YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. YOU AND YOUR EVIL SPAWNS WILL FEEL MY WRATH! THIS SCHOOL WILL AS WELL! MR. HOUSE, I'M COMING FOR YOU! BRING IT ON! I DON'T NEED YOUR SASS! WHAT WAS THAT? YOUR SHAKING IN YOUR RUSTY OLD TERRAIN OR WHATEVER? YEAH! THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT!

The screen then focused on Aeolus who is just staring down at them with a deadpan expression then turned to face the audience.

Aeolus Rowan :Let's just say the psychiatrist was busy for the next 2 weeks.

Aeolus helped Skye up and Skye brushed themself off.

Shirley Manchester:Now you two will represent us well in school. Young ladies, i expect nothing less than the daughters of my own child. You two will not bring any further shame to this family, Do you understand?

Lyn and Berna: Yes, Grandmother.

Shirley Manchester:After all, it is Lakewood High, the school of students with potential futures.

Shirley Manchester:Was that a sigh, young lady?

Berna Manchester:N-no Grandma.

Shirley ManchesterLBe polite to your teachers.

Lyn and Berna:Yes, Grandmother.

Shirley Manchester:Do not associate yourselves with delinquents.

Lyn and Berna:Yes, Grandmother.

Shirley Manchester:...Be safe.

Lyn and Berna:Yes...Grandmother.

Tanya Martinez:Hello Sandra, is Sheila in yet? I must tell her that we will be having new partners in math next week, everyone was sitting next to their friends. It will be a boy-girl partnership and i am sure that she will absolutely love the idea about her sitting next to Ezekiel Sanders.

Sandra Rowan:Wait, how do you know all of this information? And how do you know that Sheila and her crush will be seated next to one another?

Tanya Martinez:Being class president has its advantages.

Sandra Rowan:Then who are you sitting next to in math class.

Sheila Jelani: Yo girlfriends!

Katelyn: Paul! Where were you yesterday! You promised to hold my bags for me at the mall! You know how much shopping i missed!

Paul Rowan:How much?

Katelyn: 15 minutes! My 6 hours of shopping was ruined by you, you bumbling baboon!

Paul Rowan:How can i make it up to you?

Katelyn: You can come to the mall with me today! Ramone and I are going shopping!

Paul Rowan:Who's Ramone? Oh, is he your stylist or is he that gay guy from homeroom?

Katelyn: He's both. Now i heard rumors saying that you're dating Crashlie. I don't want you flirting with her!

Paul Rowan:(mentally while rolling his eyes)Like you don't flirt with a million guys. I wish i would but i was never your boyfriend...so...no.

Ezekiel Sanders:So do you do any sports?

Sheila Jelani: I do volleyball at school and basketball out of school. My dad makes me do it. He's the coach here. You probably know him. He goes by the name Coach Donovan Jelani.

Ezekiel Sanders:Oh wow, really?! The next time i see your dad in practice, I'll tell him that he has a really smart, beautiful and sporty daughter.

Sheila Jelani: I only play basketball because we have a whole court in our garden! Besides i'm not beautiful!

Ezekiel Sanders:Yeah, you're the most beautiful girl in this class Sheila.

Sheila Jelani: Really?

Ezekiel Sanders:Yep.

Sheila Jelani: Hey, what are you doing tonight?

Ezekiel Sanders:Nothing...why?

Sheila Jelani: Well, maybe you could shoot some hoops in my backyard...if ya like?

Ezekiel Sanders:Yeah, sure.

Sheila Jelani: Cool.

Miss Yepp: Alright class! Now that you are all seated-(sighs)What is it now Katelyn?

Katelyn:(dramatically)Miss Yepp, i sort of like...BROKE MY NAIL!

The other cheerleaders gasped in shock

Miss Yepp: And what has that got to do with this lesson?

Katelyn: Miss Yepp! It's a serious cosmetic disaster! Can you call 911?

Miss Yepp: Whatever...I won't give you detention as today is the first day back.

Katelyn: But-

Miss Yepp: No buts! All of you take out your exercise books!

Robby. Robby. Robby!

Robby Gooden: Ugh? Wha-?

Robby? What do you think you're doing in my class?

Robby Gooden: Uh, isn't it obvious that i'm clearly sleeping.

Class: Ooooooh.

So you think you can just sleep in my class.

Robby Gooden: Yep.

Do you think that you're going to pass my class like that?

Robby Gooden: Sir, i'm taking this class because i wanted a light load for my educational life. I could sleep everyday and answer any question you give me and ace every test you hand me.

Oh really now.

He grits his teeth in anger and walks up to the front of the class. He erases what is on the board and writes Fermat's Last Theorem.

If you can solve this problem not only will i let you sleep in class. I'll give you an A+ for the rest of the year and require no work from you.

Robby yawns and stands up from her desk and walks up to the front of the class.

Robby Gooden: Whatever.(grabs the chalk from her teacher and looks at the problem)

Robby Gooden: Now can i please go back to my nap?

The teacher is unable to answer her question because he is too baffled by what he just witnesses. He continues to stare at the board in disbelief. The bell then rings signaling the end of third period

Mr.Tatum: Did i tell you that you could sit down?!(Everyone stared at him with wide eyes and they stood up immediately and waited beside their desks) My name is Mr.Tatum. You will all address me by that name or you will call me 'sir'. Is that clear?(The class groaned and mumbled causing him to shout)I SAID, IS THAT CLEAR?

The Class:(shouted)YES SIR! MR.TATUM, SIR!

Suddenly Mr.Tatum striding over to Apollo and gripped the side of his desk.

Mr. Tatum:(shouted) Do you think you are being funny, maggot?! (Apollo didn't answer) When i ask a question, I expect you to answer it. Now do it!

Apollo McGuire No sir, i wasn't trying to be funny.

Mr.Tatum: What's your name, maggot?

Apollo McGuire: Apollo.

Mr.Tatum: Apollo what?

Apollo McGuire: Apollo Charles?

Mr.Tatum: Apollo Charles what?

Apollo McGuire: Apollo Charles McGuire.

Mr.Tatum: Well McGuire, I'm watching you. You might want to be more careful in the future.

Apollo McGuire: Yes sir.

Mr.Tatum: Let me get one thing straight with all of you, I'm the boss of you. While you are in this classroom, you will do what i say, when i say it. First of all, do not talk unless i address you. Second, raise your hand. Third, stay in your seat and complete all of your assignments. Fourth, you have to ask my permission before you do anything. Follow those rules and we'll get along just fine.

A hand was raised by an unknown student.

Student:Um sir. Can i go to the restroom?

A janitor who was mowing the grass on the school field saw the classroom window open and a student was being kicked out.

Lyn Manchester: Permission to sit down, sir?

Mr.Tatum: Permission granted.

Sera Hernandez:(whispers)What are you going to do about it then?

Apollo McGuire: Cut it out. (turned around)

Another spitball found it way into Apollo's hair and he shook it out. There were a few sniggers from the back of the room. Mr. Tatum turned around and glared and the room fell silent again. Once the teacher's back was turned, Apollo turned around to face Sera.

Apollo McGuire:(angrily)Quit it.(another spitball found its way into his hair, causing him to stand up to face Sera so suddenly, that he upset his chair) I SAID STOP IT!

Mr. Tatum: McGuire! What did i just get through telling you maggots?

Apollo McGuire: But sir, Sera-

Mr.Tatum: Quiet! I did not give you permission to talk McGuire!

Apollo McGuire: Uh, yeah you did! You asked me a question! Earlier you almost bit my head off for not answering and now you're telling me to shut up! Make up your freaking mind already!

Mr.Tatum: Front of the class! NOW! (steered Apollo to the front) Drop and give me fifty!

Apollo McGuire: Huh?

Mr.Tatum: You heard me boy! Fifty push ups! NOW!

Bewildered, Apollo dropped to the floor and starts doing push ups.

Then there was a loud crunching sound emitting from someone on the other side of the science classroom. Every student and Mr. Tatum turned their heads to see Hermione currently occupied with a piece of bread that she was shoving in her mouth.

He approached her quietly then crossed his arms as soon as he appeared next to her.

Mr.Tatum: Cadet! What is your major malfunction!

Hermione Russo: Sir?

Mr. Tatum: What's your name, cadet?

Hermione Russo: Hermione Russo, sir!

Mr.Tatum: What... what are you doing?

Hermione looked around and pointed at herself. When he nodded, she waved her loaf of bread around joyfully.

Hermione Russo:I'm eating, Mr.Tatum!

Mr.Tatum: You're...eating?

Hermione Russo:Uh huh!

Mr.Tatum: In my classroom?

Hermione Russo:Yep!

Mr.Tatum stared in disbelief. He then snatched her loaf of bread, ignoring her cries of outrage, and opened the window and throwing the food outside.

Mr. Tatum: I hate you and your name already! For now on, you will be addressed as Private Pyle! Understood, Pyle!

Hermione pressed her face against the window.

Hermione Russo: (screams)THE BIRDS ARE EATING MY FOOOOD!

Mr.Tatum:(shouted) GET OVER IT RUSSO!

Hermione Russo: But... (trudging back to her desk and slumping over it)

Hermione's stomach growled loudly and she blushed at the snickers and giggles, pressing her face harder into the wood. Devanie comfortingly pats Hermione on the back.

Julie sighs and she slammed into someone's body and causes both of then to fell roughly on her back.

Sera Hernandez:(shouted)Ow, crap! Watch where you're going, moron!

Berna blushed and dusted herself off. She stood up, mumbling apologies.

Berna Manchester:I'm sorry, Sera... i didn't see you. (extending her hand) Here, let me help you up?

Sera slapped her hand away and stood up on her own, marching down the hallway towards the exit. Berna sighs again, picks up her books.

Macy: Crashlie!

Julie sprinted to the exit but she then tripped and landed on the floor with a crash. Her chest smashed on the stairs of the exit. She heard a daunting cackle from behind her.

Macy: Surprise surprise, look what crashed over!

Julie turned herself over onto her back and fearfully got to her feet and faced the girl. The girl had armpit-length red hair with bangs and diamond blue eyes. She wears a grey boat neck short sleeved t-shirt, black jean-leggings that reached her ankles , grey socks and white tennis shoes. She also had a selection of golden bangles on her right arm.

Julie Jonas: Leave me alone Macy...

Macy:(hissed)What, without saying goodbye?! (fiercely shoving her hands on Julie's shoulders)

Julie sighed helplessly and looked away at the close exit. Macy grabbed her chin and averted her attention back to her. She had a wicked grin on her face.

Macy: Aw, is Crashlie going to cry? Typical. See you later.

Ezekiel Sanders:Who in their right mind signed me up for art class?

Mr. Flora:Hello class! My name is Mr. Flora! (walks towards Ezekiel then leaned against his desk) And my, don't you look lovely today! (winks at Ezekiel, which he groans uncomfortably)

Ezekiel Sanders:Oh man.

End Episode

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