Fanon Wiki

Read the Wiki Policy before editing!

Welcome to the Fanon Wiki! Before you create any articles, you MUST read the Wiki Policy. You MUST be sure to always add Categories to your articles, and properly name all images you upload, or they will be deleted with consequences. If you have any questions, contact Chris6d or another Staff Member. Happy editing!

READ MORE

Fanon Wiki
Advertisement
  • WWII Radio Announcer: We interrupt this broadcast for a news bulletin. Pearl Harbor is under attack.
  • Young Adult Gertie: Oh, no!

  • Young Adult Rocky: I can't control this thing!

  • Pig Soldier: (sees the plane coming towards the pig soldiers) Look out!

  • Young Adult Gertie: You're my hero, Rocky!

  • Young Adult Rocky: Goodbye, Gertie, my love. And you too, our beloved sweet little baby. (tickles Young Adult Gertie's baby raccoon kit) Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle!

(Young Adult Gertie's baby raccoon kit laughs)


  • Young Cyril: Oh, hi, Mr. Willow!

  • Teen Launchpad: Rocky, where have you been?

(At dinnertime, Teen Launchpad gets some peanut butter and slices of bread out of the cupboard. Teen Launchpad spreads the peanut butter on slices of bread puts the pieces of bread together, and puts them in a pet bowl)

  • Birdie McQuack (offscreen): Honey! It's time for dinner!
  • Teen Launchpad: I'll be right there, Mom!

(Teen Launchpad puts down the pet bowl of peanut butter sandwiches)

  • Teen Launchpad: (puts his arms on his hips) Dinner is served.

(Teen Launchpad walks away; Rocky Raccoon licks his lips and eats some peanut butter sandwiches)


  • Geegaw Hackwrench: Psst. Over here.

(At bedtime, Birdie and Ripcord McQuack tuck Teen Launchpad into bed)

  • Birdie McQuack: Good night, dear. (kisses Teen Launchpad) Sweet dreams.
  • Teen Launchpad: Good night, Mom.
  • Ripcord McQuack: (hugging Teen Launchpad) Good night, son.
  • Teen Launchpad: Good night, Dad.

(Rocky jumps on the bed. Teen Launchpad pets him)

  • Teen Launchpad: Good night, Rocky.
  • Rocky Raccoon: (chitters)

(Birdie turns off the light; she and Ripcord McQuack leaves the bedroom; Teen Launchpad and Rocky Raccoon fall asleep)


(Young Bert and Young Cedric fishing on the Evergreen Lake)

  • Young Bert: This is fun, isn't it, Cedric?
  • Young Cedric: Oh yes, it is.

  • Young Bert: I can't go anywhere without my pet lizard, Mom!
  • Beth Raccoon (unseen): That's okay, Bert. You can keep him.

(George Raccoon, Baby Bentley, and Young Lisa Raccoon laughing)

  • Young Lisa Raccoon: Great story, Daddy!

  • Nicole Raccoon: (laughs) Oh, my sweet little son!
  • Baby Bentley: (laughs)

  • Gyro Gearloose: (sadly) Goodbye, Schaeffer. We'll miss you.
  • Newton Gearloose: Where is he going to, uncle?
  • Gyro Gearloose: I think he's going to the house of Chief Forest Ranger Dan.
  • Newton Gearloose: We're going to need a new dog instead.

  • Swift the Fox: (growls)
  • Young Ralph: Uh... heh-heh. Nice foxy, nice foxy.

  • Suey-Ellen Pig: Come on, foxy boy. Let's go home.
  • Swift the Fox: (whining)

(Suey-Ellen and Swift leave to go to the Pigs' house)

  • Young Ralph: (pants) Whew! That... was... close.

  • Gosalyn Mallard: (singing) Cheater, cheater, look at that cheater! (laughs)
  • Newton Gearloose: Oh, shut up!

(Newton Gearloose arrives at the Gearloose family household)

  • Newton Gearloose: I'm home, uncle!
  • Gyro Gearloose: My nephew's here. I must talk you to later. Okay, bye. (hangs up the phone)
  • Newton Gearloose: Is the raccoon here? Can I take care of him? Where is it?
  • Gyro Gearloose: It's under the table, nephew. Happy birthday.
  • Newton Gearloose: Oh, uncle, but it's not my birthday.
  • Gyro Gearloose: Just open the present.

(Newton sees the present under the table, picks it up, and places it on the floor. Newton opens the present and then sees the sad-looking Ralph who had lost his parents, his uncle, and his scarf. Newton picks up the sad-looking Ralph.)

  • Newton Gearloose: What's this?
  • Gyro Gearloose: It's the raccoon you wanted.
  • Newton Gearloose: Oh... yeah... but... where are his parents?
  • Gyro Gearloose: His parents were dead.
  • Newton Gearloose: And what about his uncle?
  • Gyro Gearloose: He's dead, too.
  • Newton Gearloose: And his white scarf?
  • Gyro Gearloose: The fox just ripped it.
  • Newton Gearloose: (gasps) That's terrible!
  • Gyro Gearloose: Don't worry. Why don't you feed him to make him feel better?
  • Newton Gearloose: Yeah, sure...

(The McQuack family sadly standing by the tombstone of Rocky Raccoon at the Evergreen Graveyard)

  • Launchpad McQuack: (sadly) Oh, Rocky... I love you. (places the flower down behind the tombstone)
  • Loopey McQuack: (sadly) Oh, Mom, wasn't he... dead?
  • Birdie McQuack: Don't worry. (pats Launchpad and Loopey McQuack on their shoulders) Everything's going to be alright.
  • Launchpad and Loopey McQuack: Yeah, Mom.
  • Ripcord McQuack: Well, I think maybe we should just go home. Let's go.
  • Launchpad and Loopey McQuack: Okay, Dad.

(The McQuack family leaves the cemetery)


(Newton feeds Young Ralph a bottle of milk)

  • Newton Gearloose: This is my best present ever, uncle!
  • Gyro Gearloose: Well, what do you call him?
  • Newton Gearloose: I'm going to call him Ralph.

  • Gyro Gearloose: (looking through a magnifying glass) Hmm... very interesting.

(Aunt Gertie drives her motorcycle, Bessie, up to meet Ralph)

  • Young Ralph: Who are you?
  • Aunt Gertie: I am Gertie.
  • Young Ralph: Can you please take me to school?

(Aunt Gertie points her motorcycle, Bessie)

  • Aunt Gertie: Get in.

(Young Ralph gets in the motorcycle; Aunt Gertie starts the engine; and they're off)


  • Miss Primrose: Good morning, class.
  • Students: Good morning, Miss Primrose.

  • Young Bert: Here's an apple, Miss Primrose.
  • Miss Primrose: Oh, thank you, Bert!

  • Little Bentley: I'm home, Daddy! (jumps out of the bus and hugs George)

  • Little Bentley: Wow! Look at that! A new computer!
  • Bentley's computer: Happy birthday, son!
  • Little Bentley: This is great! (hugs Nicole and George) Thanks, Mommy. Thanks, Daddy.
  • Nicole and George Raccoon: You're welcome, son.

(Gyro Gearloose looks through the window and sniffs sadly)


  • Pastor (unseen): Melissa, do you take Ralph to be your lawful wedded husband?
  • Melissa Raccoon: I do.
  • Pastor (unseen): Ralph, do you take Melissa to be your lawful wedded wife?
  • Ralph Raccoon: I do.
  • Pastor (unseen): I pronounce this couple, husband and wife.

(Ralph and Melissa kiss each other; the congregation applauds)

  • Aunt Gertie: That's my nephew! (laughs)
  • Bert Raccoon: That's also my friend!
  • Evergreener (offscreen): Shhh!
  • Bert Raccoon: (whispers) Oops! And Melissa too.

(Ralph comes forward to Melissa and bows)

  • Ralph Raccoon: Will you be my honor to dance, Melissa?
  • Melissa Raccoon: Oh, I'd love to, Ralph!

(Melissa curtsies; she and Ralph starts dancing a waltz)


  • Newton Gearloose: Excuse me, sir. Can I please have this collar... (gives a collar to Dirk Dassie) ...and this pet bowl for Ralph... (gives a pet bowl to Dirk Dassie) ...so I can take care of him?
  • Dirk Dassie: (looks at the supplies and thinks) Hmm...

(we cut to outside Evergreen Pet Store; Gyro and Newton Gearloose exits the Evergreen Pet Store)

  • Newton Gearloose: Wow! That's the most beautiful raccoon collar I ever saw in my life! And this pet bowl?

(Newton tries to wrap the collar around Ralph's neck, but he can't)

  • Newton Gearloose: I can't do it! Uncle, can you please help me?
  • Gyro Gearloose: Sure, I can help you out.

(Newton gives Gyro a collar and he wraps it around Ralph's neck)

  • Gyro Gearloose: This collar is a nice fit!
  • Newton Gearloose: (hugs Gyro) Thanks, uncle!
  • Gyro Gearloose: You're welcome, nephew.

  • Newton Gearloose: (lying on his bed) Who am I, Ralph? I'm only just a kid. And a cockatoo.

(an owl hooting sound is heard)

  • Newton Gearloose: Did you hear that, Ralph?

(Ralph Raccoon nods)

  • Newton Gearloose: Could be an owl.

  • Gyro Gearloose: (opens the bedroom door) Good morning, nephew! Good morning, 'coon! Rise and shine! It's milking time! Breakfast is ready! (closes the bedroom door and runs down the stairs)
  • Newton Gearloose: (wakes up) Oh boy, oh boy, another perfect day! (puts on his glasses and his propeller hat; comes up to Ralph who is sleeping on the bed and taps him) Come on, Ralphie-boy! Let's have some breakfast!

(Ralph's stomach growls)

  • Ralph Raccoon: (gasps) Oh, no! My stomach clock just went off! It's suppertime, and... (picks up his empty pet bowl) ...and someone has forgotten to feed me! (sighs) What am I going to do?

(Newton Gearloose opens the door)

  • Newton Gearloose: Don't worry, Ralph. I'll feed you as soon as you get inside when it's time to say grace.
  • Mrs. Gearloose (offscreen): (calling) Honey! It's time to dinner!
  • Newton Gearloose: Coming, Mom! (closes the door)
  • Ralph Raccoon: (growls angrily; kicks his empty pet bowl) Hiyah! (crosses his arms; sighs angrily) Now what am I going to do? (sits down on the steps) I'm going to be starved to death.

(Ralph Raccoon looks at Poe de Spell who is sleeping on the front porch)

  • Ralph Raccoon: (angrily) What are you looking at?

(Poe de Spell opens his eyes, yawns, smacks his lips, and looks at Ralph who is getting angry)

  • Ralph Raccoon: (angrily) I said, what are you looking at?
  • Poe de Spell: (caws)
  • Ralph Raccoon: (angrily) Get outta here! Fly away! And don't come back! I said get outta here!! (waves his arms while snarling at Poe de Spell who flies away and caws; Ralph crosses his arms and sighs angrily) Man! I have nothing to do.

  • Ralph Raccoon (voiceover): I get to be a captain of the boat... a train conductor... a pilot who flies a plane... a superhero who saves the day... a firefighter... a police officer... a trolley conductor... or a...
  • Newton Gearloose (voiceover): Hey, Ralph! Are you asleep or something?

  • Newton Gearloose: (puts Ralph in the high chair) There you go. (pats Ralph) You stay right here, okay? (Ralph chitters) I'll feed my dog as soon as the feast starts.

  • Newton Gearloose: Dad? Did you know that the Pilgrims were having their first Thanksgiving feast in Plymouth, Massachusetts?
  • Mr. Gearloose: Yes. As a matter of fact, I do, son. How about you, honey?
  • Mrs. Gearloose (unseen): Of course I do, dear.
  • Gyro Gearloose: And I do too.
  • Newton Gearloose: So what happened?
  • Mr. Gearloose: Well, in the year 1621, the pilgrims held their first Thanksgiving feast. They invited the great Indian chief Massasoit who brought 90 of his brave Indians and a great abundance of food.
  • Newton Gearloose: But then, who were the honored guests?
  • Mr. Gearloose: Governor William Bradford and Captain Miles Standish were honored guests. Elder William Brewster, who was a minister, said a prayer that went something like this: ...uh, son? Could you please hold my hand?

(Newton holds Mr. Gearloose's hand; Mr. Gearloose holds Mrs. Gearloose's hand; Mrs. Gearloose holds Gyro's hand; they all bow their heads and close their eyes)

  • Mr. Gearloose: "We thank God for our homes and our food and our safety in a new land. We thank God for the opportunity to create a new world for freedom and justice."
  • Mr. Gearloose, Mrs. Gearloose, Newton Gearloose, Gyro Gearloose: Amen.

(Mr. and Mrs. Gearloose, and Gyro Gearloose begins to eat their Thanksgiving dinner; except for Newton Gearloose)

  • Gyro Gearloose: (notices his nephew) What's wrong?
  • Newton Gearloose: Uh, Dad? But what happened to Cyril and the Pigs?
  • Mr. Gearloose: Well, they're having a Thanksgiving dinner, too, son.
  • Newton Gearloose: Oh yeah.

  • Cedric Sneer: (puts down steak on Snag's pet bowl) Here you go, Snag.

(Snag licks his lips and then eats some steak)

  • Cedric Sneer: See, Pop? He really likes steak.
  • Cyril Sneer: Really? Oh, thank you, son.
  • Cedric Sneer: You're welcome, Pop.

(Suey-Ellen Pig cuts up pieces of turkey and puts in Swift's pet bowl as she hums a tune)

  • Suey-Ellen Pig: Come here, foxy boy! Dinner's almost ready!

(Swift the Fox opens his eyes, gets up, smells the turkey, and walks up to Suey-Ellen Pig)

  • Suey-Ellen Pig: Here you go. (Swift the Fox eats turkey from his pet bowl) You must be thankful.
  • Pig One: Okay, foxy boy. I'm going to teach you some tricks when I can give you... (holds up the turkey drumstick) ...this!
  • Vic: (pants)
  • Pig One: Do you want it? Huh? Do you want it?
  • Vic: (barks; pants)
  • Pig One: Okay now, sit.

(Vic sits)

  • Pig One: Lie down.

(Vic lies down)

  • Pig One: Roll over.

(Vic rolls over)

  • Pig One: Now catch this!

(Pig Three throws a turkey drumstick; Vic catches the turkey drumstick and puts down on Vic's pet bowl)

  • Pig One: (comes up to Vic and pets him) Good boy!

(Newton Gearloose gives Ralph a new red scarf)

  • Newton Gearloose: Here's your present, Ralph. It's your new red scarf!
  • Gyro Gearloose: (shakes his finger) Ah ah ah, not yet, my nephew. We have to wait until Christmas Day.
  • Newton Gearloose: Oh, all right, uncle.

  • Pastor (unseen): And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed. And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria. And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; because he was of the house and lineage of David. To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child. And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.
  • Newton Gearloose: Mom? Dad? What happened to Bert, Ralph, and Melissa?
  • Mrs. Gearloose (unseen): Shh!
  • Mr. Gearloose: (whispers) Be quiet, son. The pastor is speaking.
  • Newton Gearloose: (whispers) Oh. Sorry.
  • Pastor (unseen): And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

(Ralph makes a pawstand to look through the window of Gearloose's household)

  • Ralph Raccoon: I wonder what the family are up to this time?

(Inside the Gearloose household, Mr. Gearloose, Mrs. Gearloose (who is unseen), Gyro Gearloose, and Newton Gearloose are giving and opening presents)

  • Newton Gearloose: (opens the present) Oh boy! My new tools!

  • Gosalyn Mallard: I'll teach you a lesson, mad 'coon!

  • Drake Mallard: Now you need to practice some piano, before...
  • Gosalyn Mallard: All right, Daddy, all right.

(Gosalyn puts down the plate of sandwich)

  • Gosalyn Mallard: Here, kitty. You're getting hungry. (pets Furrball) I gotta practice now, kitty.

(Gosalyn walks away; Furrball licks his lips ready to eat his sandwich; we cut to Gosalyn Mallard starts playing the second movement of Piano Sonata No. 8 in C minor, Op. 13 "Pathetique" by Ludwig van Beethoven on the piano)


  • Ralph Raccoon: Melissa!
  • Melissa Raccoon: (gasps)
  • Ralph Raccoon: I have it! It's a Valentine's Day card for you!
  • Melissa Raccoon: For me? Oh, thank you, Ralph! (kisses Ralph's cheek)

  • Fenton Crackshell: (grabs Bert's neck) Aha! I found you!
  • Bert Raccoon: (chokes)
  • Fenton Crackshell: I will finally take care of you as a pet! (laughs) Mom will be very proud of yourself!

  • M'Ma Crackshell: A raccoon? Are you crazy?
  • Fenton Crackshell: No, it's simple.
  • M'Ma Crackshell: You're not supposed to have a raccoon in our house.
  • Fenton Crackshell: Oh, right... but I'll take care of him!
  • M'Ma Crackshell: What?!
  • Fenton Crackshell: (laughs) Oh, come on, Mom! Bert loves me!
  • M'Ma Crackshell: (sighs) Alright, you can have him.
  • Fenton Crackshell: Thanks, Mom!

  • Fenton Crackshell: Okay, Bert. You wanna play ball?
  • Bert Raccoon: (chitters, pants)
  • Fenton Crackshell: Great! Let's go!

  • Fenton Crackshell: Okay, boy, catch it! (throws the ball)

(Bert Raccoon runs like a dog, catches the ball in his mouth, and runs back to Fenton; Fenton takes out the slobber ball out of Bert's mouth)

  • Bert Raccoon: (smacks)
  • Fenton Crackshell: Oh, no. A slobber ball.

  • Gyro's true love: Melissa, what have you been doing?

(Melissa chitters while she moves her hands)

  • Gyro's true love: You lifted a tree? That's covered with fire? And rescued Cyril? Oh no! That's terrible! Come on, Melissa. Let's go to my house. Hopefully the rain will stop tomorrow morning.

(Gyro's true love gives Melissa a bubble bath)

  • Gyro's true love: It's so nice when I'm giving you a bath, isn't it, Melissa?

(Gyro's true love gets in the car and starts the engine)

  • Gyro's true love: (sadly) Goodbye, Melissa. Take care of yourself.

(Gyro's true love drives off)

Advertisement