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The 1st season of Mia Stories aired from April 29, 2017, till June 15, 2017, for a total of 40 episodes and 108 segments in total.

Episodes

  • All episodes are written by creator Kenneth Dumont.
  • Episodes debut weekly on the app. Recently, it has been daily.
No. Title Directed by Air Date
1a "Mia's Birthday" Kenneth Dumont April 29, 2017
Mia's birthday goes terribly wrong when a thunderstorm brews outside, has bland pancakes instead of pancakes with chocolate chip cookies, has to go to school (for her birthday, no less!), has her friend Ruby strip naked and give her a lap dance (in the custodians' room!), gets her and her friend detention for the aforementioned lap dance (for a straight .5 of a year), and gets strucked by lightning and has only a 19% chance of making it! Eventually, she makes it but is bedridden for .5 of a year and finds out her friend Ruby got arrested for having "unconsensual" sex with the detention manager.
1b "Piss Tay" Kenneth Dumont April 29, 2017
An obese kid who speaks broken English, Eileen (Dipper), invites Mia and her boyfriend Edben to a party. This party celebrates his parents' country Pissistan's (what used to be part of Afghanistan) holiday, Piss Day (or Piss Tay), where the celebrants watch Afghanistani TV, eat strange food from Pissistan (like bread with rats on it!), and lastly dance. Mia and Edben find this food disgusting, and instead bring in junk food to eat. After Eileen's mom Eleanor finds the junk food disgusting, Mia and Edben decide to simply leave with their junk food. However, it is revealed that Eileen had made up the country and holiday in order to get new friends. This didn't work, though.
1c "Mia and Her Grandmother" Annie Oh April 29, 2017
Mia and Edben visit Mia's 93-year old grandparents, who live in a house reaching only 4 feet. Both of our protagonists find the place boring, which wouldn't have been if Mia's grandparents didn't watch The Betty White Show on a boob tube. However, after Mia finds out her grandmother makes scrumptious chocolate chip cookies, she and her boyriend fight over the cookies, which the poor grandmother has to make every time. Eventually, she and Edben get into a knife fight, which ends horribly after Mia slashes her mom on the cheek. Her mom survives and gets a bandage on the place of the slash, but she grounds Mia and consficates her cookies.
2a "Ruby Likes Jackson" Poppy Livingston May 6, 2017
While Ruby and Mia are oggling over Jacob Sartorius, Ruby instantly falls in love at first sight with know-it-all Jackson (Dipper). She is nervous to tell her feelings for him, but decides to ask him out in the vein of a study date. She arrives at Jackson's house and they proceed to look over Ruby's math homework, but Ruby finds this as a chance to give Jackson a blowjob while he doesn't notice. Obviously, though, he notices, and a panicked Ruby goes to Mia for help in making Jackson forget all of that. Mia helps her by having sexual intercourse with Jackson so he can only remember having sex with Mia instead of Ruby.
2b "Mia and the Cookie Factory" Ingrid Gibbons May 6, 2017
Mia finds an ad in her chocolate chip cookie packet that's advertising a tour for a new Nabisco cookie factory opening locally. She goes to sneak out without her mom's consent (though she doesn't care, as she and her husband can now have sexual intercourse in peace), and arrives at the newly-opened cookie factory, but finds the tour line too long. She cuts in front of weird people, like a homeless kid who pretends that a single chocolate chip cookie, just as the tour guide, Billy Bonkers (Dipper; a parody of Willy Wonka), starts the tour. While the tour is ongoing, Mia tries to eat some cookies without being caught red-handed, but she fails after she falls into a cookie-making machine and starts acting like a "chocolate chip cookie slut" by sticking cookies in all of her bodily orifices, including her buttocks. Billy Bonkers call security, but they don't want to touch Mia at all. She eventually leaves after Edben apprehends her, and she eventually gets grounded "for life" by her mom, even though she was already grounded for .5 of a year in the previous episode "Mia's Birthday". Before she leaves, though, Mia's mom gets a chocolate chip cookie out of her anus. After she leaves, however, Mia reveals a cookie stuck up her ear and eats it, much to Edben's disgust.
3a "John and the Anime" Ingrid Gibbons May 7, 2017
One of Edben's friends, John (Dipper), wants to impress a classmate named Rosie (Dipper). After realizing that she likes anime, he tries to impress her with his so-called "knowledge" of anime (which he mispronounces as "animu" or "eneme"), but he accidentally messes up by calling Your Lie in April to You Die in May. Rosie seems unimpressed but gives him a big stack of anime and manga (which he yet again mispronounces as "hanger"), but he doesn't watch the anime or read the manga at all, because he ends up sleeping on the first 15 minutes of the first episode of Naruto (again, he mispronounces it as "Narrto"). The next day, after Rosie finds out that John didn't finish Naruto or any other anime and read any of the manga, she's angry and says that he cannot woo her if he hasn't watch anime. She then asks him what he really likes, and he tells her the show Jackass. Surprisingly, Rosie kisses him right after he says that, because as it turns out, she also likes that show, especially Steve-O, who John also likes. They instantly become a couple.
3b "Attack of the Forsyth" Diane Reed May 7, 2017
Mrs. Forsyth is Mia and Edben's Sith science teacher who may as well be the worst! She forgets her lessons, is basically abusive to her students, and even shows them porn! One particular day, after she threatens a kid with a lightsaber up his buttocks and shows videos from Pornhub, Mia devises a plan in which she challenges Mrs. Forsyth to a lightsaber battle. But in order to play out this battle, Mia would need a lightsaber, and she claims that Mrs. Forsyth may have lightsabers she can steal from her. She and Edben follow her home and into her mansion-like house, where they sneak to her secret weapon room which stores lightsabers. Mia finds a pink lightsaber that she wants, and Edben also finds a blue one which he likes. However, they get caught by Mrs. Forsyth, who challenges them to Mia's proposed lightsaber battle. Mrs. Forsyth proves to be unbeatable, as she dodges and ducks lightsabers pointed at her, but eventually Mia finds out that her weakness is sticking her lightsaber up Forsyth's buttocks after the earlier comment she made regarding sticking her lighstaber up a kid's buttocks. After sticking it up, Mrs. Forsyth ends up being hospitalized after her husband finds her dead. At the hospital, Mr. Forsyth unreasonably cuts off Mrs. Forsyth's life support and causes her death. Her funeral is cut short by someone suggesting a party celebrating her death instead of mourning, and so no one bothers to close her coffin. A hand (Mrs. Forsyth's) shots up from the coffin.
3c "Eileen and the Sports" Ursula Reynolds May 7, 2017
After Eileen keeps failing at sports during gym class, like dodgeball, the coach (Dipper) sends him to the nurse for the "9th time in a week". The nurse advices Eileen to eat healthier, so at home, Eileen tries to eat healthy by dipping carrots in ketchup and drinking mud, which he considers "healthy". However, the next day in gym class, during a mile run, Eileen ends up urinating mud and defecating ketchup from his "healthy" meal. The coach realizes that this was Eileen's "healthy food", and tells him to eat normal things like broccoli. At home, Eileen finds himself unable to eat it and continues to eat carrots dipped in ketchup and drink mud, and also continues to urinate and defecate it during gym class. This continues for a school week until the coach tells Eileen to simply go back to eating unhealthy, and Eileen does so. He still finds himself unathletic but at least no longer out of control with his bowels.
4a "Mia Likes the New Teacher" Annie Oh May 27, 2017
After Mia and Edben reluctantly go to Mrs. Forsyth's class, they are instead welcomed by the new "long-term replacement", Mr. Kyler (Dipper), as Mrs. Forsyth has given birth and needs to take care of her newborn son for a whole year. Mia instantly falls in love with him. He even manages to sympathize with the students on how awful Mrs. Forsyth is. So Mia plans to bang Mr. Kyler during the end of the school day. When the end of the day arrives, Mia goes to his classroom but Edben goes too, at least to clean the chalkboard for him. As he is cleaning the chalkboard, Mia goes and forcefully makes out with Mr. Kyler, but Edben manages to restrain her from him. Ruby comes in an, also infatuated with Mr. Kyler, takes off her shirt and jiggles her boobs around. Disgusted, Mr. Kyler reports this "sexual harassment" to the principal, who comes in and brings the two girls to his office, where they're given expulsions (Ruby) and suspensions for 69 days (Mia). After 69 days, Mia comes back and goes to Mr. Kyler's class, where she manages to kiss him.
4b "Back to the Miature" Kenneth Dumont May 27, 2017
While Mia and Edben are at the science museum, as Mia's mom has to have scientific content to teach her students at school,they end up following an employee carrying something covered in a blanket. After gollowinghey encounter a time machine that was covered with a blanket in the storage room. They enter it and go back to 1985, where the science museum is still on business, and they encounter Ruby's mom in her youth, Esmeralda. She and Mia instantly fall in love, and she lets Mia and Edben come over to her house. She reveals to have lesbian porn tapes and even a poster of a 1970s lesbian porn star. Afterwards, she and Mia make out while Edben is downstairs about to play some cartridge games that Esmeralda has. Then they manage to take it to the next level by having sex. Their moaning during sex is too loud, however, and Edben eventually catches them red-handed. He doesn't seem fazed, and even admits that he saw it coming. So he goes downstairs while Mia sticks a dildo up Esmeralda's clitoris, but she gets angry at her after she sticks it up so hard to the point where she couldn't see the dildo, and they officially "break up" as a couple. Mia, distraught, tells Edben that she wants to leave and go back to the present time. He agrees on that and also wants to leave, but they're unable to leave as the time machine is nowhere to be found. This means that Mia and Edben are to live in 1985, which they do by pretending that they're homeless orphans to Esmeralda's mom, who lets them live with her until they live in college. It's not revealed right away, but Edben eventually finds the time machine after graduating from college and goes to the present time, which is slightly changed without Mia, as he is now Ruby's best friend in the place of Mia. Mia, meanwhile, is now Esmeralda's partner, and come back to visit Esmeralda's mom. In the present day, Ruby finds out that Edben traveled back in time to 1985 and left Mia there, and that now Mia is her mom, and she and Edben go back in time to bring Mia back to the present. They decide to never use the time machine ever again, and leave it back at the storage room of the science museum, where a little kid finds it and enters it. He tries to go back in 1985 as well, but the time machine's broken by the emplotee and Edben, rendering the little kid stuck in 1985.
4c "Jacob Sartorius at Oakwood" Jason Muto May 27, 2017
At lunch, Mia, Edben, and Ruby, are eating at lunch, with Ruby as usual oggling over Jacob Sartorius on his Instagram, when the vice principal announces over the intercom that Jacob Sartorius is attending Oakwood. This causes a riot, with the Jacob Sartorius fans against the haters. The principal tries to ease down the riot, but proves unsuccessful as he's hit. Later, during a social studies class, Ruby is excited upon finding out that Jacob is in her class. He gives her his address in order to get Ruby to visit him. He then ends up teaching the class. Later on, Ruby goes to Jacob's house and has sex, only to realize he's "cheating" on her with a childish-sounding girl, and "breaks up" with him. The next day, at school, she decides to go to the principal in order to accuse him of "raping" her, as she had recorded their sexcapades. However, the principal reveals that Jacob has been kicked out of school after getting falsely accused of rape by the same childish-sounding girl who he was cheating her on. Ruby, satisfied, turns to MattyBRaps as her new celebrity crush, much to Edben's dismay.
5a "The Last Day of School Detention Special" Kenneth Dumont May 28, 2017
Mia, Edben, and Ruby end up having a week-long detention on the last day of school after leaving a second before school officially ended, so they have to be in the detention room with an uncaring and robust detention manager (Dipper), where unfortunate for them, Eileen's also them. During their stay there, he constantly tries to flirt with Ruby (who he calls "Rooba"), and takes off his shirt. He takes his flirting to a whole new level when the lights go out after a thunderstorm, and makes out with Ruby as she doesn't notice. When she does, she's disgusted. Then the detention manager comes in, tranquilizes Eileen to sleep after realizing his sexual harassment towards Mia, and tells them that they can actually leave under the condition that he gets a blowjob from Mia. Edben, however, prevents him from doing so, as he is her boyfriend, so he gets one from Ruby instead. After the blowjob, they're allowed to leave with the exception of a tranquilized Eileen.
5b "Mia and the Pool Shark" Poppy Livingston May 28, 2017
On one particular summer day, Mia, Edben, and Ruby go a pool from a pool company that Ruby's parents own. They enjoy the pool to themselves until it is found out that Eileen's unfortunately there. He, of course, annoys them to no end, until he gets bitten in the butt by a shark that had gone undetected. Eileen tries to fight off the shark with a machete, but it does not work, and our three protagonists side with the shark as Edben forces the shark to hurt Eileen. Eileen's mom tries to save her son by trying to sacrifice herself, but she and Eileen get beaten and end up "drowning". At the end, they don't end up drowning as Eileen gets out of the pool carrying his mom in his arms and heads to a nearby hospital.
5c "Mia Visits a 70s Lesbian Porn Star" Kenneth Dumont May 28, 2017
Mia finds out that her favorite, retired lesbian porn star from the 70s who is septuagenarian, Momma Cumma (Dipper), has arrived in town and is meeting fans in a strip club the following day, so she makes it her mission to go there with Edben. When she does, she realizes that Momma Cumma gets made fun of for being elderly, has lung cancer from smoking, gets wasted quikly, and has 59 boyfriends that she ends up breaking up with on the spot. In the end, Mia still considers the possibility of growing up to being a lesbian porn star and a nuclear engineer, and she and Edben leave the strip club, also leaving a wasted Momma Cumma on the floor.
6 "13 Reasons Mia" Annie Oh May 29, 2017
Mia moves to Wyoming and leaves Edben and Ruby 13 tapes to listen to detailing every person that has wronged her. These people include Mrs. Forsyth, for preferring to put porn during class instead of teaching them educational stuff, Jackson, for not satisfying her during sex, Eileen, for raping her, the principal, for not believing she got raped by Eileen, Maleni, for not sharing any cookies with her, Diego, for making her watch Go Diego Go!, Mrs. Villarreal, for not making Maleni share cookies with her, a childhood friend named Tom, for stealing her toy blocks, Mr. Kyler (from the episode "Mia Likes the New Teacher), for not letting her have a "pedophilic" relationship with her, Rosie, for being a "fucking weaboo", John, simply for his appearance, Edben, for apparently no reason other than she's running out ideas, and finally, Ruby, for constantly talking about Jacob Sartorius. At the end of the tapes, she orders them to be passed to anyone mentioned on the tapes. With that in mind, Edben and Ruby pass them on to Eileen who, instead of listening the tapes, uses them to wipe himself during a No. 2 in the toilet. Parody of 13 Reasons Why.
7a "Tom Comes Back" Ingrid Gibbons May 29, 2017
Tom, Mia's childhood friend first mentioned in the previous episode, "13 Reasons Mia", comes back from France, where his teacher mother, Mrs. Holland, was teaching grammar before getting fired for swearing at a kid in Italian who knew what she had said. He and his mother visit the Villarreal household, much to Mia's dismay, until she realizes that Tom has grown quite attractive, and so she falls for him. While Mrs. Villarreal gets Tom and Mrs. Holland lemonades, Mia brings Tom to her room, where they have sex. Edben finds out and tells Mrs. Villarreal, but Mrs. Villarreal reveals it out loud, causing Ms. Holland to find out. Ms. Holland's upset and forces Tom out of the household. Mia, meanwhile, is grounded for an indeterminate number of years, but she manages to get nudes from him.
7b "John and the Lunch" Jason Muto May 29, 2017
At lunch, John finds himself unable to choose his lunch, much to the lack of patience of the ghetto lunch lady. He finally picks an egg salad with a side of white rice "of the same color as the fair complexion of a White Asian girl", and "orangey mandarins". He sits down with Rosie, who tells him that Yuri on Ice is the best anime of all time, but John disagrees by saying that DragonBall Z is the contender for the best anime of all time. Angrily, Rosie storms out the cafeteria and throws a Yuri on Ice manga for him to read so he can change his mind on the anime debate. John eventually reads it, and gets so hooked on the manga, that he is still reading it by the time lunch has ended. The ghetto lunch lady tries to kick him out of there, but gives up since he's not listening to her.
7c "Eileen and Mila" Jason Muto May 29, 2017
Eileen ends up meeting a scratchy-voiced girl named Mila (Dipper) during lunch, and soon they fall in love. They furiously start making love to each other, causing them to get kicked out of the cafeteria by the ghetto lunch lady from the previous episode, "John and the Lunch". So they make out in the janitor's closet, where they are found out by the school's homosexual janitor, who reports them to the principal. The principal gives both of them three months in detention, so they're sent to the detention room. In there, they find Mila's homosexual brother, Adam, making out and having sex with his boyfriend, Ned. Mila points out that she and her brother are disappointments to her family. She then decides to play a trick on them by taking out Ned's condom so Adam gets fucked raw and bleeds. Eileen reluctantly does this prank, though the prank backfires. Eileen is disgusted by this and no longer has feelings for Mila. They "break-up" as Eileen escapes out of the detention room.
8c "Something Better Than Cookies" Poppy Livingston May 30, 2017
Mia gets obsessed with Flamin' Hot CheetosTM after she eats some from Ruby. She is so obsessed, in fact, that she doesn't like cookies anymore, and spends her college funds and savings on these spicy CheetosTM, and buys a billion bags of these CheetosTM. Mrs. Villarreal, however, grounds her for wasting all of her college funds and savings in Cheetos, and she's banned from getting any. Instead, Edben gets a bag and Maleni gets the rest.
8b "Mia and the Disneyland Trip Gone Wrong" Grekk May 30, 2017
During a trip at Disneyland, Mia gives the Mickey Mouse mascot a blowjob and gets screwed by him, but Edben does not allow this and gets security to arrest him. Later on, at the hotel Mia, Edben, and Mrs. Villarreal are staying in, Mickey Mouse comes back and tries to kidnap Mia, but Edben stops him again and security yet again comes to arrest him.
8c "A Christmia Carol" Annie Oh May 30, 2017
A Christmas episode where Mia realizes that her Christmas is the worst after her family each gives her bad gifts. She leaves them for Ruby's family, who gives her a free membership from Nasbisco for unlimited cookies, the same gift Maleni got from Mrs. Villarreal, and hot chocolate and gingerbread cookies. Unfortunately, though, they had to leave to visit relatives, leaving Mia and Edben to travel 100 miles to apparently nowhere. Mia, thinking her life is useless, tries to commit suicide by jumping off a pole, but is saved by her mom, who realizes that hating on kids could obviously lead them to commit suicide, and Edben. Mrs. Villarreal takes Mia home and promises her a good Christmas. Songs include, "Welcome to Ruby's House" and "I Just Want a Good Christmas".
9a "Mia and the Spelling Disaster" Annie Oh June 1, 2017
Mia tries out for the Spelling Bee, but she doesn't make it to the County Finals, Edben does. Instead of being proud for him, she decides to sabotage the County Finals by turning off the lights just as Edben's about to win. He doesn't end up winning, as Mia succeeds, but her ploy's eventually found out when the judge (Dipper) hands her a microphone as she admits her evil deeds. Edben ends up winning the Finals while Mia wins a grounding after her parents arrive thinking she actually won the Finals, when she was actually foiling it.
9b "The Cookie Commercial" Ursula Reynolds June 1, 2017
After a commercial is played on TV advertising auditions to star in a Nabisco commercial, Mia decides that she wants to audition, and goes to the address where auditions are taking place. The director of the commercial instantly chooses Mia to star in said commercial, as he is, um, attracted to her. Meanwhile, Mrs. Villarreal finds out where Mia auditioned, and goes only to find the director attracted to Mia, so she resorts to beat him up with a tripod camera and grounds Mia again.
9c "Ruby Has the Hots for the Principal" Grekk June 1, 2017
When Mia and Ruby get sent to the principal's office, Ruby realizes that the school has a principal, and instantly falls for him. He eventually does too, and they start having sex, except that some police officer just had to arrive at that time to catch them in the act and arrests the principal for "statutory rape of a minor". Ruby then turns her advances towards the female vice-principal replacing him, though she rejects them.
10a "John and the English Class" Jason Muto June 1, 2017
John tries to finish the book Othello by William Shakespeare, but the English teacher (Dipper)'s vibrator rips his book in half. When the next period arrives, Ruby throws his half-ripped book outside.
10b "The Musical Episode" Grekk June 1, 2017
A forced musical episode.
10c "Tracy West" Poppy Livingston June 1, 2017
An obese, diabetic author named Tracy West who still lives with her 95-year old mother, writes Pokémon books for a living, and hacks Poptropica just to make an island named "Stripper Island" (involving the player's avatar having to earn money in order to get laid by a stripped named Tracy West) visits Oakwood in order to talk about her career as a Pokémon book writer. Her pathetic life comes to light, however, and she's arrested for hacking into Poptropica.
11a "The Oakwood Untalented Show" Poppy Livingston June 2, 2017
The annual Oakwood Talent Show has arrived, and Mia tries out for it, but doesn't get in on the final show. Acts in the show include "Katie and Brenda in: Hot Night" and Eileen's sword swallowing performance, which goes wrong as he accidentally swallows his mom's vibrator which he got by accident, instead of his sword.
11b "Mia and the Unamused Park" Poppy Livingston June 2, 2017
Mia and Edben go to an amusement park while Mrs. Villarreal goes to a "building" nearby. Mia eats before going to the rides, however, and while on a rollercoaster, chokes on her vomit. She decides to go lenient with a horse carnival, but her horse disconnects itself from the carnival and she gets trampled by the horse. So Edben decides to take her to a kiddie train ride, but she wants the front seat taken by a little kid. She throws him off and goes on the ride. Afterwards, she and Edben leave to go the "building" Mrs. Villarreal, only for them to realize the "building" is actually a strip club in which Mrs. Villarreal strip dances.
11c "John and the Library" Jason Muto June 2, 2017
John's English class period goes to the library, where he tries to find a book, only to get slapped with a manga book by Rosie for calling manga and anime "Japanese garbage". Later on, when the class goes back to class, and John is still choosing a book, the teacher tells him that it's time to leave, only to get slapped by John with the same manga book Rosie slapped John with and falls unconscious. John then continues searching.
12a "Mia in: No, Diego, No!" Kenneth Dumont June 2, 2017
While Mrs. Villarreal runs errands, Mia tries to put on her younger brother Diego's favorite show, Go, Diego, Go!, but accidentally puts on her lesbian porn tapes which she hadn't retrieved from the TV. She tries to retrieve them, but to no avail, and Diego soon becomes a sex addict. Mrs. Villarreal comes back and grounds Mia for exposing Diego to porn. While in her room, Mia discovers that Diego is having sex with a teddy bear under her bed.
12b "The Principal Makes a Bunch of Dumb Rules" Amy O'brien June 2, 2017
After feeling "tired" one morning, the principal makes a "bunch of dumb rules" (there's only two rules): 1) People named Mia and Ruby have to report to his office and 2) Anyone with a fidget spinner gets 99 years in detention. Mia and Ruby report to his office, where Mia gets detention for 3 months while Ruby stays so they can have sex. First, though, he makes sure to send anyone with a fidget spinner to detention for 99 years, then he continues his sexual intercourse. The janitor whom he has had an affair with comes and sodomizes him. The three are having a threesome until the principal's wife comes for something and discovers the three in the act, though she's not surprised, as she knew. She had came to drop off a divorce paper which the principal has to sign.
12c "Mia and the Birds and the Bees" Annie Oh June 2, 2017
Mia gets a talk about "the birds and the bees" from her mom after she's caught masturbating to lesbian porn. At the end, her mom tells her "homosexuality is wrong".
13a "Mia and the Ghetto Lunch Lady" Fatima Mataraci June 3, 2017
Mia is made by the principal to work at the cafeteria, along with Eileen, in order to improve her worsening grades. She has to serve quirky and unlikable kids along the way, and at the end, it's realized that the principal was lying about working to improve her grades, and that he wouldn't improve them. Mia is then grounded at home by her mom, and, hungry, eats some stale chicken nuggets she stole from the cafeteria.
13b "Mia and Mia and Mia and Mio" Fatima Mataraci June 3, 2017
When Edben and Mia go to the storage room from "Back to the Miature", they find a dimension machine that takes anyone to a different dimension which they would like. They travel to Dimension #2 (one in which the science museum's now a social studies museum, and Mia is smart), Dimension #97 (an apocalyptic dimension), and Dimension #54 (a gender-bending dimension in which Mia's a boy named Mio, Ruby's a boy named Rudy, and Edben's a girl named Edna). After having a foursome with Mio, Rudy, and Ruby, and switching gay porn and lesbian porn between Mio, Mia and Edben leave. As they're leaving, a little kid enters the dimension machine and wounds up in Dimension #54.
13c "When Eileen Bells Toll" Ingrid Gibbons June 3, 2017
Eileen's religion has it that kids his age have to marry a cousin, with the marriage set up by the mother, in order to keep the family's bloodline "pure", and it's his turn to marry to a cousin named Ramona (Dipper; misspelled "Rimani). Evelyn, Eileen's mom, gets him a flashy tuxedo which, ironically, came from a pre-order from a thrift store. She sends a letter to Mia, Edben, and Ruby, inviting them to the wedding and telling them to dress up their best. Eileen is told by his mom to put on his tuxedo and finds out the wedding is happening later on instead of the expected later week. He's flattered, but he accepts this fact. Meanwhile, Mia and Edben arrive at the wedding and find Ruby in the front seats, saying that all three are VIPs. Ramona walks the aisle with her dad while Eileen walks it with his mom. A pastor is about to officiate the wedding when he says anyone objecting to the wedding should speak now or forever hold their silence. Mila arrives and objects, saying that Eileen shouldn't marry Ramona, but her parents come over to get her out of the wedding. Ramona is then exposed as a Caucasian girl who was "brownwashing" and cannot marry Eileen anymore. Ruby takes Ramona's place and marries Eileen, and is officially Eileen's spouse. Later, they have their honeymoon at McDonald's.
14a "Mia and the Cookie Fan Club" Grekk June 3, 2017
Mia starts a "cookie fan club" after she finds the other clubs uninteresting. Unfortunately, an extreme cookie fan named Kayla Wiggins realizes that someone is just obsessed over cookies as her and, angry, joins her cookie fan club in order to kill her and Edben and Ruby (who joned the club) so that only she can be obsessed with cookies. Her plans fail, and she ends up getting killed. Her funeral, which is held in the school gym, is cut short as "no one cares".
14b "M.I.A. Titanium"
"Cruisin' the Titanium"
Kenneth Dumont June 3, 2017
Mia, Edben, and Ruby get to be on a cruise ship named the M.I.A. Titanium (M.I.A. standing for "Missing In Action"; name parody of Titanic) thanks to Mrs. Villarreal. Mia and Edben then decide to have sex on a car aboard the ship. Meanwhile, the horny and useless captain on the ship realizes from one of his bisexual workers that a whale is on the cruise's trail and does nothing about it, instead watching Playboy on his computer while masturbating. An alarm and announcement about heading to the ship's deck in order to go on one of the ship's 8 lifeboats goes off, and Mia and Edben go to warn their parents. They leave, get life jackets, and go on deck, where they have to wait on a queue in order to get on a lifeboat. However, Mia's parents have to go on the 7th lifeboat, while Mia and Edben have to go to the 8th lifeboat, the very last one (Ruby's on one of the first five lifeboats). Also, one of the ship's workers reveals a lifeboat he owns, which can fit two people, and brings along the bisexual worker over the captain, whom he deems "useless" while the other worker is more useful. The captain ends up drowning along with the ship. While Mia and Edben are on the lifeboat, the captain ends up on board, revealing to being alive. After realizing he's useless, however, Mia and Edben dump the captain back into the depths of the sea, where he's greeted by Jack Dawson from the 1997 film Titanic.
14c "Mia's Schooled Halloween" Annie Oh June 3, 2017
The principal announces that the next day will be Halloween, so he's holding a "Halloween Bonanza" in which anyone can dress up in any costume they desire. So Mia dresses up as butch lesbian porn star Momma Cumma (first mentioned in the episode "Mia Visits a 70s Lesbian Porn Star"), Edben as Jason Vorhees from Friday the 13th, Ruby as Fiona from Shrek, and Eileen as Mr. Blobby, from "an obscure British variety show" (referencing Noel's House Party). The principal talks to them, and mistakes them as Ellen DeGeneres, a murderous hockey player, and a person suffering from food poisoning, respectively. When he realizes that Mia's dressed up as a porn star, he sends to the front office where she's punished by being sent to the principal's private office. As if being punished wasn't bad enough, the principal's 88-year old mother who is working as a substitute secretary tells her how her own mother died in the same private office at the age of 59 after a lobotomy gone wrong, and now she haunts the private office. Mia, along with a sneaky Edben and Ruby, encounter the ghost of the principal's mother's mother, who threatens them for being the cause of her lobotomy, even though they weren't alive when it happened. The ghost ends up finding her daughter, and the 88-year old leads her mother to her grave, which stops all the haunting. Afterwards, our three protagonists sneak out without no one in the office. The principal comes back into the office and is now tormented by the ghost of his grandfather.
15a "Mia's Idea" Ingrid Gibbons June 4, 2017
Mrs. Villarreal is fed up with Mia's inferior intellect, so she makes a professional hypnotist hypnotize her into being smart. However, after realizing she can't get Mia in trouble, which is what she likes to do, Mrs. Villarreal un-hypnotizes her into being her usual self. Mia does not recognize the hypnotist and curses at him, prompting Mrs. Villarreal to ground her.
15b "Flames of Love" Poppy Livingston June 4, 2017
Our three protagonists, Mia, Edben, and Ruby, watch four episodes of a ridiculous telenovela named Llamas de Amor, or Flames of Love, in Spanish.
15c "Mia and the Cool Kids" Diane Reed June 4, 2017
Mia becomes friends with a cool girl (Dipper) and her cool friends. She invites Mia to her house and gives her her address. Mia goes to the address and realizes that the cool girl hosts "tensomes" with her friends. Meanwhile, Edben and Ruby "save" Mia from the cool kids. Afterwards, she decides that she doesn't want to hang out with them anymore.
16a "Mia and the Golden Cookie" Fenton Cole June 4, 2017
While digging out her time capsule she buried in the third grade, Mia stumbles upon a map with an X marking the spot in the middle of Oakwood's field. She, Edben, and Ruby, go to the X, where they uncover a golden, edible cookie! It is, however, stolen by Eileen, whose dad had buried the golden cookie randomly because for apparently no solid reason. He overheard his dad's doings during dinner, and this made him steal it from out three friends. Our friends manage to beat him up with the cookie, along with the principal, who overheard them, and bury it on a random place like Eileen's dad did. That random place turns out to be Mila's backyard.
16b "John and the Recess" Kenneth Dumont June 4, 2017
John refuses to play during recess, and gets hit by Rosie with a manga book after dissing manga and anime. He then ends up getting hit by a soccer ball on the head.
16c "Foody for Eileen" Diane Reed June 4, 2017
Eileen wants unhealthy food for lunch, but the Ghetto Lunch Lady gives him healthy stuff to eat. He throws it at her face and gets sent to the principal, where he's forced to work at the cafeteria with her.
17a "The Principal Gets a Date" Grekk June 5, 2017
After getting a divorce from his wife after finding him having a threesome with Ruby and the janitor in "The Principal Makes a Bunch of Dumb Rules", the principal decides to "throw his anger" at the Oakwood students by announcing additional school hours to the regular school schedule, along with added subjects like Life Economics and Marine Biology. He has also made gym last for two hours. When Mia and Ruby are sent to the principal's office by the Life Economics teacher, they realize the real reason behind the additional hours, and make a deal with the principal that if they can find him a date within a week, that he will take off the additional hours and subjects off of the school schedule and that if both of them are sent to the principal's office, that they won't get detentions and instead a spanking in the butt. After school, Ruby, Edben, and Mia, go to Ruby's house, where Ruby's matchmaker mom finds a match for the principal by seeing a photo of him. She finds a match in Ashtyn Wannapopo, who is Evelyn Wannapopo's sister and Eileen's aunt, and writes down her address. Mia, Edben, and Ruby go to this address and realize that Ashtyn is Momma Cumma! She accepts a date with him, and our three friends go tell the principal the next day. He wonders if she would like to go to McDonalds and after school, our three friends ask if she would like to meet him at McDonalds. Momma Cumma agrees to this, but doesn't know when to meet him. The principal agrees on a Friday evening, and so does Momma Cumma. Mia, Edben, and Ruby will also go to McDonalds with a drive to there by the principal. Friday evening arrives, and the principal drives Mia, Edben, and Ruby to McDonalds. They get a table, and the principal wants to make reservations for the tables, though he realizes that McDonalds doesn't make reservations. He orders meals from the "secret menu", and Edben does, too. Momma Cumma arrives, and she orders a ridiculous amount of food which has to be carried by two reluctant employees. When the principal and Momma Cumma settle down, they start to fall in love immediately, and start making out and get kinky by sticking fries up Momma Cumma's buttocks. The principal then is about to propose, though it's a false alarm, and then he's about to really pop the question. But, Momma Cumma's girlfriend just so happened to arrive and the principal feels betrayed. He and Momma Cumma end up breaking up. The next day, our three protagonists worry that the deal is off, but the principal takes off the additional hours off, as he enjoyed the experience with Momma Cumma, even if it was for one evening.
17b "A Kidnapped Ruby" Poppy Livingston June 5, 2017
Mila kidnaps Ruby while she's masturbating to lesbian porn in her room as she's married to Eileen and it gives Mila jealousy. She takes her to her trailer home and into her room, where she ties Ruby up and cuts her all over her body. When Mia and Ruby go visit Ruby, they realize from her mom that she was kidnapped. After claiming it may be Mila, they find her trailer thanks to her Instagram account, which is located in White Trash St. They enter her trailer, allegedly helping Mila with a school project, and save Ruby by untieing her while Mila goes to buy Chic-Fil-A and confides in Ruby that she can't escape as she's "too fat". Mila comes back with her meal and is enraged that Mia and Edben are letting Ruby esccape, but it's revealed Mia already called the police and sirens are heard. The police then arrest Mila for "abducting of a minor", plus her mom and homosexual brother, simply for being "white trash".
17c "EI13EN"
"Eileen 13"
Annie Oh June 5, 2017
Eileen celebrates his 13th birthday by having to do a ritual which kids in his religion have to do in order to enter "manhood", or also "womanhood". This ritual has many steps, the first one involving the ripping out of pubes. This proves to be true as Evelyn rips out Eileen's pubes. Then the next step involves the rubbing of oil in the kid's face in order to bring them acne. After, if a pubescent male has "boobies" (due to gynecomastia), they have to be rubbed with butter. Second to last, butt hair must also be rubbed with butter. Finally, a pubescent male must get a blowjob by their father in order to "enter manhood", maybe even literally. After the dreadful ritual's over, Eileen wants to go celebrate his birthday with friends somewhere, but his parents "claim" that the ritual also has it that it can only be celebrated with family members. Eileen ignores them and leaves the house.
18a "Get a Job, Boi!" Fatima Mataraci June 5, 2017
The Ghetto Lunch Lady gets fired by the principal due to complaints from kids' parents about her verbal abuse at them. She gets a job as a caregiver for Momma Cumma, but erroneously misunderstands her chores in a parody of Amelia Bedelia. After two days of miunderstanding, she quits her caregiver job. Meanwhile, a kind and caring lunch lady, Nice Lunch Lady (Dipper), takes over the Ghetto Lunch Lady's job, but her kindness is too much and she's fired for being "too friendly". The Ghetto Lunch Lady replaces her and gets back her job in the proccess.
18b "The Principal and the Janitor in: Alone Fun Time" Kenneth Dumont June 5, 2017
The principal tries to cause accidents, like drop his coffee, in order to bring the janitor over so they can have sex. They're constantly interrupted, however.
18c "Ruby's Career Day" Ingrid Gibbons June 5, 2017
Ruby dreads Career Day, since she has to bring her aunt, Marsha, who makes sex toys. When Career Day arrives, Marsha presents herself and Mrs. Forsyth considers her presentation "the best", having considered other presentations bad.
19a "The Ruby Look-Alike Who Looks a Lot Like Ruby" Bubba Guiana June 6, 2017
Mia photographs three pictures of a lookalike Ruby and she, Edben, and Ruby go in search of the impersonation of Ruby, and realize it's Mila, who was let go of jail, while her mom and Adam didn't. She's arrested and put in jail for 431 years.
19b "The Janitor Breaks Up With the Principal" Bubba Guiana June 6, 2017
The janitor breaks up with the principal, as he has fallen in love...with the principal's ex-girlfriend, Mrs. Forsyth! As it turns out, the principal was deceived into signing a divorce paper divorcing from Mrs. Forsyth.
19c "Oakwood On Air" Bubba Guiana June 6, 2017
Mia, Edben, and Ruby star in a televisation of the school announcements. When it airs on the school TVs, it is controversially edited to the principal's likes.
20 "Momma Cumma Dies" Ingrid Gibbons June 6, 2017
Momma Cumma "dies" during her 75th birthday, but she's revived in the end.
21a "Eileen and Ruby Adopt a Kid" Poppy Livingston June 6, 2017
Eileen and Ruby adopt a kid (Dipper) who secretly loves to watch lesbian porn. When Ruby finds out, however, she and her adopted son fawn over the porn.
21b "Eileen and the Dinner Ritual" Poppy Livingston June 6, 2017
Eileen's family must do a weird ritual before dinner. This "ritual" involves a chant, and, well...a incestous kiss or two...or three...
22a "Eileen Visits Mila in Prison" Donald Fairbanks June 7, 2017
Eileen reluctantly's forced (by his mom) to visit Mila at the local prison where she's serving her four-century sentence, and realizes that she seems fine in there and even has a lesbian inmate lover named Asia.
22b "Mia and Ruby's Sleepover" Amy O'brien June 7, 2017
Mia and Ruby's sleepover at Mia's house (which takes place while Mrs. Villarreal is on a school meeting) goes awry when a burglar (Dipper) sends Mia and Ruby to the hospital.
22c "The Principal and the Principal From Cypress Grove Meet" Ingrid Gibbons June 7, 2017
The principal meets the principal from Cypress Grove (Dipper), Oakwood's rivaling school, who looks and acts the same way as the principal. They even have the same annoying tone of voice which enunciates everything!
23 "Cypress vs. Oakwood" Grekk June 7, 2017
Cypress and Oakwood hold an athletics event, pitting Cypress' selected three "athletes", Milo, Eddy, and Rubio (all voiced by Dipper), against the selected Mia, Edben, and Ruby, in six athletic segments: 1, Hurdles, 2, Mile Run, 3, Shot Put and Discus, 4, Javelin, 5, Long Jump, and 6, Basic Knowledge. Our three protagonists win all the events.
24a "Mia and the Thanksgiving Turkey That Came to Life" Kenneth Dumont June 7, 2017
The Villarreal's family's turkey comes to life on Thanksgiving and is eventually lifeless and eaten after its weakness, cranberry sauce, is realized.
24b "Mrs. Forsyth in: After School" Poppy Livingston June 7, 2017
After school is dismissed, Mrs. Forsyth wants to have a threesome with the janitor and the principal, but she realizes that she must teach an extrea credit science class.
24c "Amber" Fatima Mataraci June 7, 2017
Edben's primary school arch-enemy, Amber, becomes a new student at Oakwood, much to his chagrin.
25a "The Principal and Esmeralda's Relationship" Kenneth Dumont June 9, 2017
The principal inadvertently ejaculates on Ruby's bed while having sex with Esmeralda, Ruby's mom.
25b "Eileen and His Kid" Ingrid Gibbons June 9, 2017
While Ruby goes to pay the utility bill for the TV, Eileen takes care of his kid (officially about to be named Billy Langley Wannapopo; named after the reality TV show stars A Look at the Langleys, a spoof of Keeping Up with the Kardashians.) and tells him an Indian folktale of two Indian lovers, Samarah and Tomá, who end up getting killed by Samarah's kidnapper after Tomá attempts to save Samarah from the sex dungeon in which the kidnapper kept her and did a lot of "stuff" to her. Mia and Edben offer to help Eileen take care of the kid with him as well.
25c "John and the Group Project" Annie Oh June 9, 2017
The closeted homosexual social studies teacher (Dipper) assigns a 6-partnered group project which involves building a monument. Each partner gets an individual daily and major grade. John is paired with Mia, Edben, Ruby, and Eileen, Rosie to do the Statue of Liberty, and he, Eileen and Rosie, have to do the base and island vegetation in which the Statue resides. They fail and Mia, Edben, and Ruby re-do it way better, and so John and Eileen get 20s on their daily grades. Rosie helps our three friends make gold and silver statuettes of the Statue, and she and our three friends get finished and make major grades while John and Eileen, who were of no help, get 0s on their major grades. John is taken aback and feels devastated, but gets better with Rosie's kissing.
26a "The Principal in: Sick Day" Lorelai Mumford June 9, 2017
The principal calls in sick with a headache, stomachache, throat fever, and the flu. So the vice principal takes in his place and learns about the hardships of it. Meanwhile, the principal tries to visit the school and calls in announcing this, but the secretary, knowing about the state of the school (which is bad), refuses, goes to his house, and tranquilizes him. And, the vice principal ends up on the hospital! The secretary has to take her to the hospital, and the school officially has no authority figures, making all the teachers leave and all the students riot and go wild. The vice principal and the secretary return shortly thereafter, but for unexplained reasons, bombs go off at the school, and the vice principal and the secretary return to the hospital, where they realize the principal is there, and finds out about the bombs. He fires both of them.
26b "Mia and the Cookie Restaurant" Lorelai Mumford June 9, 2017
Mia, Edben, Ruby, and Eileen all go on a double date to the grand opening of a cookie restaurant, where Mia realizes that the closeted homosexual social studies teacher is on a date with his potential boyfriend. Possible outcomes ensue,
26c "Rosie and the Anime Forbidden" Lorelai Mumford June 9, 2017
Rosie plans to spend all summer watching anime and reading manga, but her mom (Dipper) has other ideas. She bans her from doing any of these things and grounds her. Rosie is disappointed until John comes in and makes out with her. Her mom also bans her from being with John and sends her to her room. When Rosie's gone, her mom dives for the trash and retrieves a manga book which she starts taking an interest into.
27a "The Janitor Gets Fired" Fenton Cole June 10, 2017
After he doesn't bother to clean the principal's messes, the janitor gets fired and the secretary replaces him. When he's send to take care of a fire due to a misunderstood experiment in Mrs. Forsyth's class, she gets angry and wants the janitor. The secretary takes care of the fire, and the secretary holds a poll to see if the kids would like Mrs. Forsyth fired. But Mrs. Forsyth calls the principal saying how she'll threaten him and the secretary with a lightsaber up their buttocks if they don't re-hire the janitor and stop considering firing her. She later ends up getting fired and the secretary replaces Mrs. Forsyth as the science teacher. Meanwhile, Mrs. Forsyth catches up with the janitor and make out together. They end up starring in bisexual porn which the principal ends up watching by accident.
27b "Ruby Uncovers a Conspiracy About Fast Food" Ingrid Gibbons June 10, 2017
Ruby realizes that all of McDonalds employees are robots controlled by the so-called 144 or 145-year old immortal founder of the fast food concept, who's named Ronald McDonald, while at McDonalds for a date with Eileen. Edben finds Ruby and finds out the same thing, and they call the police, who arrest the founder and put him in jail for 102 years, telling him that he can live all of that, since he considers himself immortal. Afterwards, Ruby and Edben destroy the robot employees and leave, where Mia ends up being a robot. Ruby wakes up to find it was all a dream from eating too much McDonalds, which had been ordered earlier. She's actually at Mia's house with her and Edben, who were watching a three-hour movie, a Transformers one. As Ruby comes to this satisfactory realization, Mrs. Villarreal comes home and reveals herself as a robot. The episode ends like this with no explanation as to if it's real, though it's probably not.
27c "Mia in: Knocked-Out Maleni" Diane Reed June 10, 2017
When Mrs. Villarreal leaves for some errands, Maleni's knocked out cold by Mia's vibrator while she's practicing ballet, in order for Mia to get her cookies. As it turns out, however, she can't find Maleni's cookies, because there's none. Then she heards Mrs. Villarreal arriving and announcing cookies for Maleni, proving that there were none. Mrs. Villarreal goes upstairs to Maleni's room and finds out an unsconscious Maleni and grounds Mia. While Mia mopes in her room, Maleni regains conscious and makes a dick move (literally!) out of revenge by "returning" Mia's vibrator: that is, throwing it at her and making her unconscious.
28a "Mia at the Movies" Grekk June 10, 2017
Mia, Edben, Ruby, Eileen, and Billy Langley watch three incredibly dumb films: Caillou: The Movie, Fidget Spinner: The Movie, and Momma Cumma's first motion picture/feature film.
28b "Mia and the Triggered SJWs" Ursula Reynolds June 10, 2017
Our four friends encounter a crowd of angry and triggered feminist SJWs who claim that Edben sexually harrassed them. They manage to barge out of the crowd and arrive safely to the Villarreal household, where they realize that Mrs. Villarreal turned into a crazy feminist SJW.
28c "Ruby and the Late-Night Disturbance" Jason Muto June 10, 2017
Ruby's sleepover gets interrupted when Ruby hears her mom moan. She realizes that the principal is getting banged by his mom, which is not uncommon, but the principal's actually the one from not Oakwood, but Cypress Grove, the rivaling school. He had actually killed the original Oakwood principal in "The Principal and the Principal From Cypress Grove Meet" (it may have been after the ending of episode, offscreen), and has since been the "principal of Oakwood". He then nonchalantly goes back to having sexual intercourse with Esmeralda.
29a "The Principal Who Was Killed After All" Lester Gomez June 11, 2017
Ruby is still haunted by the principal of Cypress Grove admiting to the murder and indentity theft of the principal of Oakwood, so she tries to prove he is the principal of Cypress Grove, much to her failing when the real principal of Cypress Grove arrives to talk about money. Later, during what was supposed to be a private meeting between the principals (but some people not intended to arrive do arrive), the principals make an agreement to spend some money on a "mini prom" to get kids ready for the real one in high school. After everyone else leaves, they privately start to have a fight and the principal is murdered by the Cypress Grove one. The secretary finds out and calls a police officer who also gets killed. The secretary witnesses the other murder but says nothing. The next day, when Ruby gets in trouble, she is reminded that she gets a spanking for winning the deal made in the previous episode. When she enjoys it, the "principal of Oakwood" decides to spice things up by sticking a dildo up her buttocks. Mia and Edben just in time to barely avoid this happening, but it happens and Ruby falls unconscious. Mia also falls unconscious but Edben doesn't. The vice principal arrives to find Mia, Ruby, and the principal of Oakwood, unconscious. She reluctantly gets his poisioned water and throws it at him, making the Cypress Grove principal unconscious. He, Mia, and Ruby, and along with the real principal of Oakwood and the police officer, are hospitalized, where both principals and the police officer end up dying.
29b "Murder Miastery" Amy O'brien June 11, 2017
Mia, Edben, and Ruby are all invited to a party hosted by a stranger. When they arrive, the host makes dinner and they all eat, but the host ends up getting killed during a brief blackout. Our three friends then find clues that lead to the killer and his/her motives, and they enter an underground trapdoor leading to the killer...Mrs. Forsyth.
29c "Mia and the TV Fight" Jason Muto June 11, 2017
Mia and Maleni fight over the TV and what they want to see, with Mia wanting to see Flames of Love.

Absent: Dipper as Ruby

30a "Mia Goes to Ceil Store" Grekk June 12, 2017
Mrs. Villarreal has to buy groceries, but she decides that Walmart is not her option, as it's crowded. Instead, she brings Mia and Edben, and Ruby to Ceil Store, a clear Walmart rip-off with drones taking the place of shopping carts instead. Along the supermarket trip, Mia and Edben encounter weird people, like a 40-year old furry, a depressed AF emo, and a sagger with a reason as to why.

Absent: Dipper as Ruby

30b "Mia and the Specials Class" Jason Muto June 12, 2017
The former vice principal (now the principal of Oakwood after the murder of the previous one) puts Mia in a "specials" class after her grades are all single digits (plus a 0 in Math). This "specials" class, in actuality, is filled with kids who have special needs, like a kid with Down Syndrome and another one who is obsessed with people's appearance being out of a place, teached by a crazy teacher named Animamamama Caruso (Dipper), who was in a cult for most of her childhood. She is clearly messed up and doesn't help any of the special kids adjust to society and its norms. Not only that, she teaches the girls how to fondle their own breasts and everyone else how to spread their buttcheeks apart. The principal passes by and realizes how bad Mrs. [sic] Caruso is, so she fires her and throws her in a Dumpster, where she "belongs". The next day, Mia is told in the intercom to come to the principal's front office, where the principal tells her that the "specials" class has been cancelled and Mrs. Caruso has been fired. All the "specials" kids, including Mia, will be in the normal classes in order to adjust to society properly. This means that Mia gets her normal schedule again.
30c "Mia and Mima" Jason Muto June 12, 2017
A new girl named Mima Villafalsa (no, really) arrives at Oakwood during Mia and Edben's science class with a clearly fake happy personality. This makes her seem annoying and hated, so she sits with our three friends at lunch, though they try to ignore her or tell her hateful comments. Then we get an insight into Mima's mind, where it's revealed that she wants to kidnap Mia in the janitor's closet after school (also, later it's found it's because she wants to be the only one who doesn't have to put with someone of a similar name), so she manages to do so after, well, school. She cuts Mia's throat, but Mia only falls slightly unconscious. Edben hears Mia's cries for help, and enters the closet and tries to fight off Mima. The police is called in, and arrest Mima, who ends up losing her insanity (probably due to having to fake her personality) and is put in jail, which is probable. As for Mia, she goes to the hospital to get her wounds healed, and gets in an enough stable condition to manage to leave. Ruby visits and gets forgiven for not finding about the stabbing early, along with Eileen and Billy Langley. She goes home and gets her rest. The next day, at school, a new kid named Adbin Zability (Edben's name butchered) with a fake personality falls into unconsciousness after a paranoid Mia throws an asparagus at him. Mrs. Forsyth doesn't seem fazed but finds the situation funny.
31a "Billy Langley in: Daycare Despair" Kenneth Dumont June 12, 2017
Mrs. Villarreal does not have time to take care of Billy Langley as usual, while Ruby and Eileen are at school. So they drop him off at a daycare place 2 miles away from their home. In the daycare, Billy Langley's true personality comes to light as he's show as a foul-mouthed, hateful, and misunderstanding little kid who's too much for one of the two daycare workers (Dipper), who tries to give him activities that would refrain from this unacceptable behavior, to no avail. When Billy Langley goes to a ball pit and gets a ball stuff between his buttcheeks, the daycare worker tries to retrieve it, only for Ruby and Eileen to arrive to pick Billy Langley up and see this retrieving as child abuse, so they angrily leave with Billy Langley. While the daycare worker cleans the ball pit, she realizes that Billy Langley urinated on it.

Absent: Dipper as Mia and 3D83N as Edben

31b "How Mia Was Born" Fatima Mataraci June 12, 2017
Mrs. Villarreal retells the pitiful tale of how Mia came to the world...to Mia and Edben. Then a flashback from Summer of 2005 reveals how Mrs. Villarreal was throwing out the trash into the Dumpster, when she gets pain all over her body, and unknowingly was pregnant all along. This is proven when Mia comes out of the womb and into the Dumpster, where she gets a birthmark in her forehead created from donut glazing. Mrs. Villarreal is shocked at the birth and, in a fast attempt to name her daughter, names her Mia, after a candy wrapper laying next to her, of the same name.

Absent: Dipper as Ruby

31c "Mia and the Forgotten Porn Collection" Lester Gomez June 12, 2017
When Mia and Edben go to clean Mia's ridiculously messy room, they retrieve many porn tapes from Mia's underside of her bed. They start normal, with the second porn film that Momma Cumma has ever made, but then they get weird, like a rubber duck porn film, a bestiality film, and even a child porn film, all of which Mia has no recollection of ever owning. Then it gets "even worse" when she finds an asparagus porn film.

Absent: Dipper as Ruby

32a "The Ghetto Lunch Lady Serves Expired Lunch" Bubba Guiana June 13, 2017
Since the Ghetto Lunch Lady runs out of the daily entrée of fish steaks and peas and carrots, she serves the rest of the students a single beef patty and some soggy fries. Unbeknowst to her, however, the food is expired, and soon the students served this "lunch" get sick and go to the nurse's (Dipper) office, where they keep throwing up. Mia gets served this lunch and Edben and Ruby have to end up sending her to the nurse's office as well. After the vice principal catches wind of this, she punishes the Ghetto Lunch Lady by sending her to the nurse's office, where kids end up vomiting on her.
32b "Grief on the Principal" Donald Fairbanks June 13, 2017
Esmeralda is still grieving over the principal's death, having been his girlfriend and all. She reminisces over times spent with him, including the first sexual experience with him and the time they went to a sex shop to buy Ruby's lesbian porn. She can't get over the grief and, not wanting him just in her heart since it's "clichéd", decides to "join him in Hell" by jumping off the second-story window. Ruby manages to save her mother's jump but Esmeralda still gets rushed to the hospital, where she is now paralyzed.
32c "Mia in: Fuck Maleni's Ballet" Annie Oh June 13, 2017
While Mrs. Villarreal goes to run some errands, Mia decides to ruin Maleni's ballet by throwing an asparagus and dildo at her. She manages for a while but she stands up and when Mrs. Villarreal arrives, she says everything's fine.
33a "Mia's Miasic Video" Annie Oh June 13, 2017
This whole segment is a music video for Mia's song, "A Boyfriend Named Edben".
33b "Mia's Spiral of Viral" Kenneth Dumont June 13, 2017
After seeing the viral influence of Tay Zonday's "Chocolate Rain" music video and the Rickroll YouTube practical joke, Mia decides that she too must have a viral video of her own. She makes a video where she, Edben, and Ruby try to introduce themselves but interrupt each other. She uploads it to YouTube and waits for the fame. The next day, at school, during lunch, Mia doesn't get attention from her video, as only one person (a nerdy kid) has watched the video. She waits the next day but doesn't get attention yet again. The next morning, she realizes she got famous for her viral video, but only because it got 52 views, only 3 likes, and 1 million dislikes.
33c "Ruby in: Jerkin' and Workin' Out" Poppy Livingston June 13, 2017
Ruby does some basic workouts with sexual twists, all while a disgusted Mia and Edben watch.
34a "John Runs For His Life" Grekk June 13, 2017
John finds himself the slowest person in Run For Your Life, which is a gym activity where kids run 7 laps. All the while he unsuccessfully tries to finish his third lap, he meets up with Rosie, who finishes her 7 laps with everyone else. Then John's gym period ends, and he's forced to finish 4 more laps to complete his 7 laps. He feels better about doing them, though, since he kissed Rosie.

Absent: Dipper as Ruby

34b "Flames of Love 2" Lester Gomez June 13, 2017
Mia, Edben, and Ruby watch three more episodes of the beloved yet ridiculous Spanish telenovela, Llamas de Amor, otherwise known as Flames of Love, in Spanish.
34c "The Agonizing Asparagus!" Fatima Mataraci June 13, 2017
A parody of B movies inn which Mia and Edben must confront an population of evil asparagus who die along with the people they attack and kill as well.
35a "Momma Cumma and the Retirement Home" Donald Fairbanks June 13, 2017
Momma Cumma is one aging, retired elderly woman who lives alone, so it shouldn't have been a surprise when she reveals that she is moving into a retirement home to Mia and Edben. Mia, not wanting to never visit Momma Cumma ever again, decides against that and, with her mom's clear reluctance, makes Momma Cumma stay in her house. She acts inappropriate with Mrs. Villarreal however, and this makes her angry.

Absent: Dipper as Ruby

35b "Mia and the Cookies Gone" Bubba Guiana June 13, 2017
Mia tries to get Maleni's cookies while she has morning ballet practice and her mom isn't home, but she can't find them. As it turns out, Edben ate them.

Absent: Dipper as Ruby

35c "Last Days of Momma Cumma" Kenneth Dumont June 13, 2017
Momma Cumma watches Dr. Phil with Mia, Edben, and Mrs. Villarreal and goes to the park with them the day before she dies in her sleep at the age of 75. In the afterlife, she goes to Hell and joins the principal and the Devil (Dipper) in a threesome.
36a "Mia and the Mini Prom" Poppy Livingston June 14, 2017
The "mini prom" first mentioned in "The Principal Who Was Killed After All" becomes reality, and so our three friends get ready for the prom. Mia and Edben get driven by Mrs. Villarreal, who's a chaperone for the prom, on a Lamborghini (bought by Edben to Mrs. Villarreal) to Oakwood. Ruby and Eileen have to bring Billy Langley to the prom since they are unable to find a babysitter that can take care of him. At the prom, everyone admires Mia and Edben's Lambo, and Billy tries to ruin his adopted parents' night by throwing punch at her, though he stops. Mia, meanwhile, is attracted by a mysterious and muscular hoodlum (Dipper), and wonders if she should dump Edben. When she and the hoodlum find themselves alone, they start having fun as Mia pulls down his boxers and sees....a vagina! The hoodlum reveals herself as Rosie, who comes out as bisexual. The event is forgotten and everyone dances with their significant other.
36b "Ruby and Eileein in: Kissing, Interrupted" Ursula Reynolds June 14, 2017
Ruby and Eileen try to make out to no avail, as Billy Langley keeps interrupting them. In the end, our two lovebirds are about to have sex and Eileen can't seem to find his condom. Billy Langley shows up with the condom and wraps it around Eileen's nose, knocking him out.
36c "Mia's Dad Does a Favor For Her" Fenton Cole June 14, 2017
On a particular morning, Mia realizes that her dad has not left to work and she makes him do her the favor of getting cookies stashed in Maleni's room. Mrs. Villarreal comes back, having forgotten her work for today, and after finding out about the favor her husband did for Mia, grounds both of them.
37a "Mia Goes to a Garage Sale" Diane Reed June 14, 2017
Mia and Edben find a garage sale, and Mia attempts to buy everything in the garage for only a cent after realizing that the seller loves bargains.
37b "John and the Theatre" Fatima Mataraci June 14, 2017
John and Rosie both get parts in the musical production of Being Hip With the Kids: The Musical. John, however, slips out Rosie's breasts during the night of the production, but she forgives him.
37c "Eileen and the Indian Chores" Jason Muto June 14, 2017
Eileen has to do "Indian chores", which consist of..."cleaning" his dad's scrotum with his mouth.
38a "Esmeralda Finds Love Again" Kenneth Dumont June 14, 2017
Esmeralda and the former vice principal of Oakwood become a pair of girlfriends after Esmeralda becomes paralyzed-free.
38b "Mia and No More Lesbian Porn?!" Grekk June 14, 2017
Mrs. Villarreal gets rid of Mia's lesbian porn collection, and Mia tries to entertain herself in some way.
38c "Rosie Meets John's Parents" Annie Oh June 14, 2017
John introduces Rosie to his energetic, cheerful mother, and his quiet, transgendered father.
39-40 "A Mia Movie: The Mia Stories Movie" Various (TBA) June 15, 2017
Mia and Edben turn runaways after Mia gets tired of her unloving family. They encounter wacky situations and people along the way. Note: Season finale.
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