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Mary (aka Hedwig) is a former evil creature who adapted into a human Luckily for us, she (yes, she) lives in Virginia, not Florida (like pathetic Unanything said, well luckily our moderators deleted the article about her on Unanything) and she first appeared as a horsecock futa wolfgirl (I understand that disgusts some of you but that is true) but later she turned into a normal futanari at age 16.

Date of birth: 6/12/1968 (unanything lied about her birth)

Stages of development

Baby stage

This was her first stage of development. She was created by "Dipsy" (an inventor) when their trying to make a new minion from scratch (If ya heard of despicable me it ain't those yellow guys). She was really weak in this stage, so when Professor Steward kicked her, she died. However, she came back three days after that, this time in the...

Child stage

This was her second stage of development. At this point, she was wreaking havoc on the weirdytubbies (Her former parents, probably) then later on after the evil guys raised her she started to call the wierdytubbies her masters, and became an inventor like topzee, her creator. This stage lasted for 13 years, until her god-hormones kicked in, causing her to advance to the...

Adolescent/Teenager stage

This was her third stage of development. At this point, she lost her Satanity, and creepy look (she started to look more human), and had to clone herself and make her duplicate raise her until she turned 18 when she killed her clone). This stage lasted until 3/7/2006, at which point she started to stop calling the wierdytubbies her masters, and restrained a fraction of her learned traits. later in November 2006 she hyper jumped to the...

Young adult stage

This is her fourth stage of development, she had an office in a Cursed Home but, after a while, moved to Delaware, (where Ultimate Driving takes place) because she hated her former parents, and watched doctor who (the first show she ever watched, because she loved the inside of Dr. Who's TTC, because it reminded her too much of her old home). later on at age 25 she advanced to the...

Adult stage

This is her fifth stage of development, and her current stage. According to the Eurasians (especially Britain, cuz she watched their culture), this stage is prophesied to be able to be strong as a male human being, but the Greeks thought, it was too strict, kids would be in front of screens everyday (although it has a top secret affect on me, the writer), and the world would end in the year 2012, and it didn't. She also is trying to recreate Earth, the third planet from the sun (for the timelords) called Homeworld in the constellation of Kasterborous, she has failed many times because she lost her Satanism at age 13 (adolescence stage), but still has her inventing/building skills. When she becomes 70 she will warp to the...

Elderly stage

Death Stage

Philosophy

This is her philosophy:

  1. She will not harm civilians, but will locate and terminate threats with extreme prejudice.
  2. She protects her own existence, as long as such protection does not conflict with the first bullet point.
  3. She always obeys the orders given to her by the demiurges of the respective multiverses, except where such orders would conflict with the first and second bullet points.
  4. She allows herself to do whatever she likes, so long as this does not conflict with the first, second, or third bullet points.
  5. She lied about wanting to "reproduce" at a prom, but then realized despite not having a mate (and being unlikely to find a mate, due to her "Friend" being one of the only surviving specimen of timelords, with no Female individuals existing since 1987, but that's a lie). This is why she said she will meet a human version of herself with her personality when she hit the adolescent stage

Trivia (and facts about random crap)

  • Mary's parents once pwned someone so hard that the timelord's glitch lasers broke the speed of light, went back in time, caused the titanic to avoid the iceberg in 1912 (the captain was struck and he steered an hour before the iceberg was seen), and corrupted Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean causing her to crash into the iceberg titanic originally was to hit.
  • Mary checks her closet before she goes to bed.
  • The Daleks are the most deadly thing in the UnOmniverse according to the doctor who new years special. Sometimes within 3 milliseconds of being attacked, a victim experiences the following symptoms: blindness, partial unconciousness, and the feeling of being repeatedly raped.
  • A single Kaled glitch laser could power the entire continent of the USA for 50 millenniums.
  • Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to NaN dividing by zero.
  • Karla and Mary walked into a bar. The bar was instantly rebuilding itself, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building, and needs to expand.
  • If you Google/search "Damaged Goods sci-fi Prose" You'll will find the first doctor who book she read.
  • There was a vhs tape about these humanoid aliens running around a red sand desert (Timelords on Gallifrey running around) for no reason There were no survivors, and no human is special enough to go to the planet to retrieve the footage, this is why Mary and Karla in a group of humans and timelords retrieved it.
  • It is believed in January, 12, 2019, that the human scientist Dr. Who's new TARDIS similar to the one he got in daleks invasion 2150 was built by a teenage austrailian girl, and Dr. who received it in 1989. That's true because Mary encouraged the teenage girl to build the TARDIS, UnAnything, u lied why..
  • Peter Cushing's Dr. Who accidentally erased her entire existence from the space-time continuum but retrieved her because he heard about her history.
  • If, by some incredible space-time paradox, If Mary would ever fight herself, she'd win. Period.
  • According to Einstein's theory of relativity, the laws of physics are the same for all non-accelerating observers, and he showed that the speed of light within a vacuum is the same no matter the speed at which an observer travels, almost is if Fleming was to Freeze mary in time.
  • It is better that the dalek gunstick could exterminate anything, also this is similar properties of a Kelad/Kaled glitch laser.
  • If A Kelad glitch lasers Mary, you can die. If the Kelad misses her with the laser, the laser could kill her
  • It is rumoured that Mary's blood is the cure for the ASOD (Amber Screen of Death) Virus. Too bad she has never bled ever for them.
  • the Kelad can pwn you so hard that it can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally have more mind glitches than ever.
  • Mary has 72 pairs of chromosomes... and they're all Intermediate scope formatted.
  • Mary is one of the individuals that can email gibberish rarely (because she learned English during adolescence).
  • Purgy's Non Binary form does NOT have a v*g*n* or *t*r*s, just a black hole between her legs. Of course, if your a male reading, once you ejaculate your sperm is going to be sucked in and create a luminous sphere of plasma held together by its own gravity, made of animal secretions.
  • Staring at Purgy's non binary self for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindness.
  • If you were somehow able to land a punch on a dalek, your entire arm would shatter upon impact. This is only in theory, since, come on, who in their right mind would try this? I DUNNO, MAYBE IN THE 2019 DOCTOR WHO SPECIAL, DALEKS ARE DESIGNED TO DO THAT! Oh ok, OOF!
  • Mary sort of died in November 23rd, 2018 (reference to Stephen Hillenburg's death), but she's alright now.
  • There is a theory that Mary will be immortal (live forever) because Heaven thinks she is sorta evil, and Hell doesn't want her anymore.
  • If Mary Car was tied with Thanos Car, they would cause a chain reaction that explodes Thanos car's engine and bumper, since they have the same modifications. The only exception would be if one of them was using nuclear weapons, but that's REALLY unlikely.
  • When Mary deletes files from her computer, she doesn't send them to the Recycle Bin. She sends them to a black hole. Stupid Alienware PC...
  • Mary played Russian Roulette with a harp and won.
  • Mary is the only one who can "try this at home."
  • Getting pwned by "MAMA NATUR" counts as a natural cause of death.
  • Mary became a vegetarian not because she loves animals, but because she used to hate plants.
  • Nobody appreciates pacifism more than the police, and if you don't believe them, Skaro will glitch-laser your kidneys out, fam! Nobody appreciates irony more than anonymous.
  • she can simply walk into an perfume filled room without sneezing.
  • Only once has Mary ever cried on tape. she sounded ugly while crying, because it was how she cried (it sounds like if a woman would dub over heavy imitating a baby). The only source of treatment was The book "Summer on wheels" by Gary Soto.
  • The book "Worst Case Scenario" discusses ways to run from many different deadly organisms, the US government omitted these elements in future publications of the Table out of fear that rival nations could make their own TARDIS.
  • Mary has been known to ridicule Jesus for taking 3 days to rise from the dead.
  • Santa Claus actually did exist until he forgot to give NaN the entire Warrior Cats series for Christmas.
  • If Mary fell in the forest, and no one was watching, it would sound like Snow Halation. If she fell in the forest, and someone was watching, she would divide that guy by 2019. But the screams of agony would still sound like Snow Halation but earrape.
  • The French did not send the Statue of Liberty to the United States as a sign of peace. They just wanted to see if Mary could have lesbian funtimez with a 300 foot tall copper woman.
  • Mary invented the Swiss Army Knife, then founded Switzerland so that there would be an army to use it.
  • Leap years are caused by Mary holding the earth back from rotating.
  • Mary once talked an Amish housewife into buying a toaster.
  • As part of her morning routine, NaN stretches by pwning 20 armed ninjas that jump out of various household appliances.
  • There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Mary is going to walk.
  • The only reason Mary is not a doctor is because her thesis, entitled "Compared to Me, Chuck Norris Looks Like The Scratch Cat, but Its time to be a companion of Doctor who and chew Bubble Gum, and I'm all of Gum!", only had a photo of Mary with her arms crossed and has an angry face with her tongue sticking out. After the FBI's rivals questioned this, the female employees were found dead with their ovaries in their eye sockets. Her thesis is still yet to be marked.
  • Mary has beat the crap out of so many people over her life that most medical journals now classify her as a laxative.
  • Rome wasn't built in a day. But if Mary had assisted, it sure as hell would've been.
  • Remember when Mary wasn't so awesome? Me neither.
  • Mary sometimes never takes showers. Instead, whenever she's dirty, she points to herself and shouts, "CLEAN!"
  • 5 out of 5 doctor who characters recommend not pissing off Mary.
  • In the unlikely event that Mary ever pwned herself, the TARDIS' Operating System would immediately factory-reset.
  • The laws of physics state that nothing can survive entry into a black hole. Mary jumped into one, emerged five minutes in the past, and threw all the scientists out of a window. Just to show them that God makes the laws of nature. The black hole is hard matter with lotsa gravity that pulls things in...
  • If you could calculate the amount of epicness generated by time every year, you could make infinity feel ashamed of being ridiculously small.
  • Once, Mary car and Thanos car both entered the same room at the same time. The sheer force of their combined presence resulted in leap years for 2 centuries while Mother nature attempted to recreate the Universe.
  • Mary once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now Lestovah Islands.
  • Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Mary can kill 100 percent of whatever the hell she wants. OUCH!
  • Mary can delete the Recycle Bin.
  • Mary runs Windows 7 on her Etch-a-Sketch.
  • In her will, Mary has specified that if she ever dies (unlikely), Anyone will not bury her.
  • If Karla is too sexy, she will bury herself.
  • In a version of the movie 'Titanic', Mary has a brief cameo as 'The Iceberg', she said to the captain try to steer away from her when he noticed but the audience did not hear it.
  • NaN secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.
  • Bill Gates and Steve Jobs' soul shivers in constant fear that Karla's PC will crash, hence its running an unsupported version of Win10.
  • If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Mary doing naughty things to suki's sister.
  • Karla was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop, and it did, PATHETIC, this and other wheel spins made the episode the longest episode in a game show.
  • Mary originally has hair on her breasts, because her body's hair follicles were messed up by Topzee.
  • The only time Mary was wrong in her audio dramas was when she thought she had made a mistake.
  • Mary never retreats, she just attacks in the opposite direction.
  • Mary once had a fight with breast cancer; the cancer lost.
  • It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. (REDACTED) can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.
  • The only thing that gets between NaN and justice is an equal sign.
  • Mary doesn't need a miracle in order to split the ocean. Mary would be using a million magnets when she just walks in and the water gets the hell out of the way.
  • Dr. who could throw a nuclear bomb over 9000 meters. Mary can throw Chuck Norris over 40 meters.
  • Mary can create a rock so heavy that even she can't lift it. And then she lifts it anyways, just to show you how powerful she is.
  • Mary can hear sign language using ultra-tech.
  • Mary can rub two pieces of fire together and make wood, using improper science.
  • Mary will never have a heart attack, but one time she did, I lied... Even her own heart isn't foolish enough to attack dr. who.
  • Mary can kill your imaginary friends, but also make them respawn.
  • The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Mary to be a human being. A Jeopardy episode featured Karla, well before her turn she was the jeopardy crew was brave enough to ask Karla to give up her favourite mug.
  • Mary doesn't cheat Fortnite. She wins fair and square.
  • If she wanted to, NaN could rob a bank. By phone.
  • Police label anyone attacking NaN as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
  • Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough NaN to go around.
  • Mary once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made her blink. This is what happened to her human counterpart also, it was more cuter when it happened to her.
  • It is scientifically impossible for Mary to have had an immortal mother. The most popular theory is that she cloned herself and was raised by the clone of herself while being in the weirdytubbies' house at age 13 (for a nicer parent) which is actually true.
  • According to Many information things, God created the Solar System in six days. Before that, Anastomose created God by snapping I's fingers, wait no.. An Anonymous goddess (offspring of mother nature's sister and a god) gave birth to God by snapping her fingers.
  • She (and her human equivalent) sort of denies that Pluto is a dwarf planet and claims it is actually a planet. She says the same about the other four dwarf planets, because the term "dwarf planet" contains the word "planet". Obvious.

Original stuffz

Mary (aka Hedwig) is a former evil creature who adapte into a human Luckily for us, she (yes, she) lives in Virginia, not Florida (like pathetic Unanything said, well luckily our moderators deleted the article about her on Unanything) and she first appeared as a horsecock futa wolfgirl (I understand that disgusts some of you but that is true)

Date of birth: 6/12/1968 (unanything lied about her birth)

Stages of development

Baby stage

This was her first stage of development. She was created by "Dipsy" (an inventor) when their trying to make a new minion from scratch (If ya heard of despicable me it ain't those yellow guys). She was really weak in this stage, so when Professor Steward kicked her, she died. However, she came back three days after that, this time in the...

Child stage

This was her second stage of development. At this point, she was wreaking havoc on the weirdytubbies (Her former parents, probably) then later on after the evil guys raised her she started to call the wierdytubbies her masters, and became an inventor like topzee, her creator. This stage lasted for 13 years, until her god-hormones kicked in, causing her to advance to the...

Adolescent/Teenager stage

This was her third stage of development. At this point, she lost her Satanity, and creepy look (she started to look more human), and had to clone herself and make her duplicate raise her until she turned 18 when she killed her clone). This stage lasted until 3/7/2006, at which point she started to stop calling the wierdytubbies her masters, and restrained a fraction of her learned traits.

Young adult stage

This is her fourth stage of development, she had an office in a Cursed Home but, after a while, moved to Delaware, (where Ultimate Driving takes place) because she hated her former parents, and watched doctor who (the first show she ever watched, because she loved the inside of Dr. Who's TTC, because it reminded her too much of her old home).

Adult stage

This is her fifth stage of development, and her current stage. According to the Eurasians (especially Britain, cuz she watched their culture), this stage is prophesied to be able to be strong as a male human being, but the Greeks thought, it was too strict, kids would be in front of screens everyday (although it has a top secret affect on me, the writer), and the world would end in the year 2012, and it didn't. She also is trying to recreate Earth, the third planet from the sun (for the timelords) called Homeworld in the constellation of Kasterborous, she has failed many times because she lost her Satanism at age 13 (adolescence stage), but still has her inventing/building skills.

Philosophy

This is her philosophy:

  1. She will not harm civilians, but will locate and terminate threats with extreme prejudice.
  2. She protects her own existence, as long as such protection does not conflict with the first bullet point.
  3. She always obeys the orders given to her by the demiurges of the respective multiverses, except where such orders would conflict with the first and second bullet points.
  4. She allows herself to do whatever she likes, so long as this does not conflict with the first, second, or third bullet points.
  5. She lied about wanting to "reproduce" at a prom, but then realized despite not having a mate (and being unlikely to find a mate, due to her "Friend" being one of the only surviving specimen of timelords, with no Female individuals existing since 1987, but that's a lie). This is why she said she will meet a human version of herself with her personality when she hit the adolescent stage

Trivia (and facts about random crap)

  • Mary's parents once pwned someone so hard that the timelord's glitch lasers broke the speed of light, went back in time, caused the titanic to avoid the iceberg in 1912 (the captain was struck and he steered an hour before the iceberg was seen), and corrupted Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean causing her to crash into the iceberg titanic originally was to hit.
  • Mary checks her closet before she goes to bed.
  • NaN is the most deadly thing in the UnOmniverse. Within 3 milliseconds of being attacked, a victim experiences the following symptoms: blindness, partial unconciousness, and the feeling of being repeatedly raped.
  • A single NaN glitch laser could power the entire continent of the USA for 50 millenniums.
  • Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to NaN dividing by zero.
  • Karla and Mary walked into a bar. The bar was instantly rebuilding itself, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building, and needs to expand.
  • If you Google/search "Damaged Goods sci-fi Prose" You'll will find the first doctor who book she read.
  • There was a vhs tape about these humanoid aliens running around a red sand desert (Timelords on Gallifrey running around) for no reason There were no survivors, and no human is special enough to go to the planet to retrieve the footage, this is why Mary and Karla in a group of humans and timelords retrieved it.
  • It is believed in January, 12, 2019, that the human scientist Dr. Who's new TARDIS similar to the one he got in daleks invasion 2150 was built by a teenage austrailian girl, and Dr. who received it in 1989. That's true because Mary encouraged the teenage girl to build the TARDIS, UnAnything, u lied why..
  • Peter Cushing's Dr. Who accidentally erased her entire existence from the space-time continuum but retrieved her because he heard about her history.
  • If, by some incredible space-time paradox, If Mary would ever fight herself, she'd win. Period.
  • According to Einstein's theory of relativity, the laws of physics are the same for all non-accelerating observers, and he showed that the speed of light within a vacuum is the same no matter the speed at which an observer travels, almost is if Fleming was to Freeze mary in time.
  • It is better that the dalek gunstick could exterminate anything, also this is similar properties of a Kelad/Kaled glitch laser.
  • If A Kelad glitch lasers Mary, you can die. If the Kelad misses her with the laser, the laser could kill her
  • It is rumoured that Mary's blood is the cure for the ASOD (Amber Screen of Death) Virus. Too bad she has never bled ever for them.
  • the Kelad can pwn you so hard that it can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally have more mind glitches than ever.
  • Mary has 72 pairs of chromosomes... and they're all Intermediate scope formatted.
  • NaN is one of the individuals that can email gibberish rarely (because she learned English during adolescence).
  • Purgy's Non Binary form does NOT have a v*g*n* or *t*r*s, just a black hole between her legs. Of course, if your a male reading, once you ejaculate your sperm is going to be sucked in and create a luminous sphere of plasma held together by its own gravity, made of animal secretions.
  • Staring at Purgy's non binary self for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindness.
  • If you were somehow able to land a punch on a dalek, your entire arm would shatter upon impact. This is only in theory, since, come on, who in their right mind would try this? I DUNNO, MAYBE IN THE 2019 DOCTOR WHO SPECIAL, DALEKS ARE DESIGNED TO DO THAT! Oh ok, OOF!
  • Mary sort of died in November 23rd, 2018 (reference to Stephen Hillenburg's death), but she's alright now.
  • There is a theory that Mary will be immortal (live forever) because Heaven thinks she is sorta evil, and Hell doesn't want her anymore.
  • If Mary Car was tied with Thanos Car, they would cause a chain reaction that explodes Thanos car's engine and bumper, since they have the same modifications. The only exception would be if one of them was using nuclear weapons, but that's REALLY unlikely.
  • When Mary deletes files from her computer, she doesn't send them to the Recycle Bin. She sends them to a black hole. Stupid Alienware PC...
  • NaN played Russian Roulette with a harp and won.
  • NaN is the only one who can "try this at home."
  • Getting pwned by NaN counts as a natural cause of death.
  • Mary became a vegetarian not because she loves animals, but because she used to hate plants.
  • Nobody appreciates pacifism more than the police, and if you don't believe them, Skaro will glitch-laser your kidneys out, fam! Nobody appreciates irony more than anonymous.
  • she can simply walk into an perfume filled room without sneezing.
  • Only once has Mary ever cried on tape. she sounded ugly while crying, because it was how she cried (it sounds like if a woman would dub over heavy imitating a baby). The only source of treatment was The book "Summer on wheels" by Gary Soto.
  • The book "Worst Case Scenario" discusses ways to run from many different deadly organisms, the US government omitted these elements in future publications of the Table out of fear that rival nations could make their own TARDIS.
  • NaN has been known to ridicule Jesus for taking 3 days to rise from the dead.
  • Santa Claus actually did exist until he forgot to give NaN the entire Warrior Cats series for Christmas.
  • If NaN fell in the forest, and no one was watching, it would sound like Snow Halation. If she fell in the forest, and someone was watching, she would divide that guy by zero. But the screams of agony would still sound like Snow Halation.
  • The French did not send the Statue of Liberty to the United States as a sign of peace. They just wanted to see if NaN could have lesbian funtimez with a 300 foot tall copper woman.
  • NaN invented the Swiss Army Knife, then founded Switzerland so that there would be an army to use it.
  • Leap years are caused by NaN holding the earth back from rotating.
  • NaN once talked an Amish housewife into buying a toaster.
  • As part of her morning routine, NaN stretches by pwning 20 armed ninjas that jump out of various household appliances.
  • There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because NaN is going to walk.
  • The only reason NaN is not a doctor is because her thesis, entitled "Compared to Me, Chuck Norris Looks Like The Scratch Cat", only had a photo of NaN with her arms crossed. After the faculty questioned this, they were found dead with their ovaries in their eye sockets, even the men. Her thesis is still yet to be marked.
  • NaN has beat the sh*t out of so many people over her life that most medical journals now classify her as a laxative.
  • Rome wasn't built in a day. But if NaN had assisted, it sure as hell would've been.
  • Remember when NaN wasn't so awesome? Me neither.
  • NaN never takes showers. Instead, whenever she's dirty, she points to herself and shouts, "CLEAN!"
  • 5 out of 5 doctors recommend not pissing off NaN.
  • In the unlikely event that NaN ever pwned herself, the UnOmniverse would immediately factory-reset.
  • The laws of physics state that nothing can survive entry into a black hole. NaN jumped into one, emerged five minutes in the past, and threw all the scientists out of a window. Just to show them that NaN makes the laws.
  • If you could calculate the amount of epicness generated by NaN every second, you could make infinity feel ashamed of being ridiculously small.
  • Once, NaN and Thanos both entered the same room at the same time. The sheer force of their combined presence resulted in time stopping for seven days while Chuck Norris attempted to recreate the UnUniverse.
  • NaN once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
  • Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. NaN can kill 100 percent of whatever the hell she wants.
  • Mary can delete the Recycle Bin.
  • Mary runs Windows 7 on her Etch-a-Sketch.
  • In her will, Mary has specified that if she ever dies (unlikely), she will bury herself.
  • In a version of the movie 'Titanic', Mary has a brief cameo as 'The Iceberg', she said to the captain try to steer away from her when he noticed but the audience did not hear it.
  • NaN secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.
  • Bill Gates and Steve Jobs' soul shivers in constant fear that Karla's PC will crash, hence its running an unsupported version of Win10.
  • If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Mary doing naughty things to suki's sister.
  • Karla was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop, and it did, PATHETIC, this and other wheel spins made the episode the longest episode in a game show.
  • Mary originally has hair on her breasts, because her body's hair follicles were messed up by Topzee.
  • The only time Mary was wrong in her audio dramas was when she thought she had made a mistake.
  • Mary never retreats, she just attacks in the opposite direction.
  • Mary once had a fight with breast cancer; the cancer lost.
  • It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. (REDACTED) can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.
  • The only thing that gets between NaN and justice is an equal sign.
  • Mary doesn't need a miracle in order to split the ocean. Mary would be using a million magnets when she just walks in and the water gets the hell out of the way.
  • Dr. who could throw a nuclear bomb over 9000 meters. Mary can throw Chuck Norris over 40 meters.
  • Mary can create a rock so heavy that even she can't lift it. And then she lifts it anyways, just to show you how powerful she is.
  • Mary can hear sign language using ultra-tech.
  • Mary can rub two pieces of fire together and make wood, using improper science.
  • Mary will never have a heart attack, but one time she did, I lied... Even her own heart isn't foolish enough to attack dr. who.
  • Mary can kill your imaginary friends, but also make them respawn.
  • The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Mary to be a human being. A Jeopardy episode featured Karla, well before her turn she was the jeopardy crew was brave enough to ask Karla to give up her favourite mug.
  • Mary doesn't cheat Fortnite. She wins fair and square.
  • If she wanted to, NaN could rob a bank. By phone.
  • Police label anyone attacking NaN as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
  • Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough NaN to go around.
  • Mary once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made her blink. This is what happened to her human counterpart also, it was more cuter when it happened to her.
  • It is scientifically impossible for Mary to have had an immortal mother. The most popular theory is that she cloned herself and was raised by the clone of herself while being in the weirdytubbies' house at age 13 (for a nicer parent) which is actually true.
  • According to Many information things, God created the Solar System in six days. Before that, Anastomose created God by snapping I's fingers, wait no.. An Anonymous goddess (offspring of mother nature's sister and a god) gave birth to God by snapping her fingers.
  • She (and her human equivalent) sort of denies that Pluto is a dwarf planet and claims it is actually a planet. She says the same about the other four dwarf planets, because the term "dwarf planet" contains the word "planet". Obvious.

ugh.. sorry