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Horror War is a 2017 American horror-comedy film and prequel to The End Is Near which are going to tell us how the end happened.

Summary

A few months before L.A.'s destruction, two technicians are hired at their facility to kill sacrifices for a ritual in order to save the world from the devil. But things backfire when one of the sacrifices get suspicious and investigates.

Plot

The film starts in Rome where Justin Bieber is running from bikers. He manages to attack one and snap the attackers' neck. However, the other one outnumbers and aims a Mini-Uzi at him. Justin Bieber stops running but says, "You can't kill us all. There will be no one left to sacrifice to the ancient one." However, the biker ignores him and machine-guns him. The biker leaves while the young mortally wounded pop star manages to take a selfie and sends it to others before he says, "Peace out world." Sadly, he dies of his injuries.

In Italy, Sapienza, Gary Busey is in a meeting with Gary Cole but it's interrupted when Busey is shot in the head with a sniper by a bald assassin.

In Russia, Orlando Bloom owns a nightclub there but is visited by Nick Nolte. They get in a argument until Nolte takes out a double-barreled pistol and shoots the guards. Nolte threatens him but leaves and Orlando thinks he's been spared only to see a suitcase bomb. Outside the club, Nolte presses a detonator and the place blows up, killing Orlando and everyone there.

Meanwhile in a U.S.A. facility, Gary Cole arrives but it's revealed him and Michael Ironside work as technicians. They are told that Stockholm has been destroyed and Japan is still active.

The next day in New York, Jay Baruchel, Seth Rogen, and Michael Pena watch the news about Justin Bieber being found dead at a church. They are invited to spend a summer at Rogen's cousin's cabin. They take Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Anna Faris to the cabin. A spy (Will Smith) says, Right on time, meaning this could be a set up. They stop at a gas station owned by Mark Hamill but he accidentally calls Anna "a w***e" and they leave. He calls the facility to inform them of the group's arrival. But Gary pulls a prank on him by putting him on speaker and denies it, much to Hamills' annoyance. They hire Samuel L. Jackson as the head of security. He doesn't have a sense of humor and is scared of scarecrows. They injected the group with mind control pheromones but Jay doesn't follow orders from them.

At night, they find a basement full of items. Mary finds a diary owned by Edith Sawyer, who is abused by her cannibalistic brother. She reads it in Latin and the Sawyers mysteriously come out from the ground. Ironside announces the winners of the bet are Maintenance and James Franco. Gary is disappointed because he didn't get to see the Gil-man. Rogen and Anna are mind-controlled to go outside and hang out. Jay becomes suspicious by the group's behavior but Mary says, Jay I think you're high on those medicine pills. He goes upstairs to watch one of his movies. Rogen and Anna make out but are attacked by the Sawyers. Anna is decapitated and killed by Drayton Sawyer. Ironside makes a dark prayer and Gary pulls a switch to fill Anna's ritual statue with her blood.

Jay keeps on hearing the voices and still refuses to take orders from the staff. He goes outside to throw rocks at a lake but sees Rogen running for his life and helps him. They tell the others about the attackers. Mary recognizes one of the killers as Edith Sawyer and they go to their rooms but get locked inside. Jay sees a camera and thinks this a movie but gets dragged away by Nubbins Sawyer. He gets stabbed but survives and kills Nubbins. However, he is presumed dead and they pull the switch. The devil knows about it and is angry that Jay's alive.

In the basement, Mary is attacked by Mother Sawyer but is rescued by Pena who kills Mother Sawyer. They find the R.V. and drive away.

In Japan, the ghost is defeated and their ritual fails, destroying Japan. But however, Germany's Wicker Man Ritual was complete in 2016 and Buenos Aires completed the King Kong one in 2015. Madrid and Rangoon are still operating. They see the R.V. heading for the tunnel but it hasn't blown yet and Ironside goes to the Demolition department. The Demolition leader (Danny McBride) reports that the explosives won't work but Ironside fixes it and the tunnel blows up. Rogen decides to ram on the grand canyon with his motorcycle. He almost makes it but hits a forcefield and trembles down the canyon, killing him. Mary thinks Jay was right about the mind control and her and Pena drive off. He tries to comfort her but is stabbed in the neck and killed by Father Sawyer. The R.V. crashes into a lake and Father Sawyer is killed.

She reaches the dock and is attacked by Drayton but Jay kills Drayton by strangling him with a chain. He tells her that he found something under the Sawyers grave. He shows her an elevator and that someone sent those things after them. They go in it and meet all the Horror movie villains in the world. They realize they're trapped in the elevator. It's revealed those pills Jay took makes him immune to mind tricks and death. The facility hire a elevator guard (Ryan Reynolds) to kill them but he gets scared by Nubbins' zombie hand. Jay knocks the guy out and takes his gun. The guard is probably strangled (off-screen) to death by the zombie hand.

They explore the facility but The Director (Al Pacino) warns them that they shouldn't be here. Jay finds out that corrupt SWAT soldiers led by Dwayne Johnson are coming to get them but Jay and Mary hide in a office. Jay checks the cameras and finds out the system purge releases all monsters. He says, Let's get this party started and pulls the switch. Dwayne and the soldiers stop but he realizes what that sound means. They try shooting at the monsters but are killed by them. An alarm is set off and back up comes. They see zombies eating the remains of the bodies but sees them as the elevators open. Everyone are getting killed and the technician room runs out power when it's attacked by Scarecrows. A Man-bat forces Jay and Mary out of the office and Jay kills Victor Zsasz with a head shot. A scientist (Bill Hader) threatens to kill them but is killed by man-bat and man-bat flies off. They see zombies coming after them but they escape. A werewolf bites Aziz Ansari and the Joker (Mark Hamill) assaults January Jones. David Koechner is stabbed to death by a unicorn. Edith comes in upset that there's no one to kill but sees a secret passage and goes to it. Samuel L. Jackson fights off the scarecrows while Gary shoots the giant spider from Harry Potter. Ironside and Kristen Kreuk are trying to escape. Samuel is outnumbered but grabs a grenade. He says, I have had it with these Scarecrows in this room and detonates the grenade, killing himself and the Scarecrows. Gary is severely wounded but sees his favorite monster. He orders it to kill him out of mercy and the Gill-man does eat him alive. Ironside finally opens the trapdoor but Kreuk is taken by the kraken and killed. Ironside is stabbed by the clown but the clown is killed by Jay and Mary. He die in their arms and his last words are, Kill him.

They enter the temple and meet the director identified as Al Pacino. He tells them that if Jay doesn't die then the world will end. He orders Mary to kill Jay but he doesn't warn them that there's a werewolf behind him. It attacks them and Pacino tries to kill Jay but is stabbed by Edith Sawyer. Jay orders the werewolf to go and it listens. Edith wants Jay to push her in the bottomless pit and Jay does. Edith Sawyer and Pacino's corpse fall in the pit. However, Pacino merges with the devil and the ritual has failed. He apologizes to Mary for the monsters and she forgives him. They sit together and kiss but are presumably killed by the devil's awakening when the ceiling collapses. He destroys the facility and the cabin. He ends the film by smashing his hand in the ground and destroying New York (off-screen)

After the credits, James Franco survived but eats a human and is saved by cannibals while Pinhead takes the facility to Hell.

T.V. Tropes

  • A**hole Victims: Pretty much everyone in the facility since they are killing innocent people for the Devil but are still Neutral since they are trying to protect the world from him.
  • Darker and Edger: This is one of the most darkest and saddest horror films due to everyone in the film just dying at the end, the antagonist rising, and the only surviving character becomes a cannibal.
  • Downer Ending: The ritual fails, the protagonists are killed by the awakening of the Devil, the apocalypse begins, and the only decent facility member goes insane and becomes a cannibal.
  • Decoy Protagonist: At first, it looks like Mary is the only one in the movie that is still alive but it turns out that Jay is the one resists the control of the facility and is the one shutting it down.
  • Final Girl: Mary plays this while Jay plays the Final Boy until the end that is.
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