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Fighter Drive 2 is episode of The Avenging Regular Show Unlimited.

Synopsis

While on a errand, Mordecai, Rigby, Dan Zembrovski, Troll Moko, Randy Cunningham and Howard Weinerman steal an van.

Transcript

  • (This episode begins at Avengers Tower)
  • Mordecai: Hey, Richard. What's up?
  • Richard: (On Computer) Not much, Mordecai. What about you?
  • Mordecai: Fine. So, how's your night at Granny Jojo and Louie's?
  • Richard: (On Computer) Good. I'm not at Granny Jojo and Louie's no more. I'm at my new house. I've changed my new life.
  • Mordecai: Really? How?
  • Richard: (On Computer) I won Thirty-two lotteries.
  • Mordecai: Thirty-two times. How?
  • Richard: (On Computer) By buy winning tickets, silly.
  • Mordecai: How do you do it?
  • 'Richard: (On Computer) Well, let me explain.
  • (Song: Billionaire)
  • Richard: ♪I wanna be a billionaire so fucking bad Buy all of the things I never had Uh, I wanna be on the cover of Forbes magazine Smiling next to Oprah and the Queen Oh every time I close my eyes I see my name in shining lights, yeah A different city every night, oh I I swear the world better prepare For when I'm a billionaire Yeah I would have a show like Oprah I would be the host of everyday Christmas Give Travie your wish list I'd probably pull an Angelina and Brad Pitt And adopt a bunch of babies that ain't never had shit Give away a few Mercedes like 'Here lady have this' And last but not least grant somebody their last wish It's been a couple months that I've been single so You can call me Travie Claus minus the Ho Ho Ha ha get it? I'd probably visit where Katrina hit And damn sure do a lot more than FEMA did Yeah, can't forget about me, stupid Everywhere I go, Imma have my own theme music Oh every time I close my eyes (what you see what you see brah?) I see my name in shining lights (uhuh uhuh yeah what else?) A different city every night, oh I I swear the world better prepare (for what?) For when I'm a billionaire Oh oooh oh oooh for when I'm a billionaire Oh oooh oh oooh for when I'm a billionaire I'll be playing basketball with the President Dunking on his delegates Then I'll compliment him on his political etiquette Toss a couple milli in the air just for the heck of it But keep the fives, twenties, tens and bens completely separate And yeah I'll be in a whole new tax bracket We in recession but let me take a crack at it I'll probably take whatever's left and just split it up So everybody that I love can have a couple bucks And not a single tummy around me would know what hungry was Eating good, sleeping soundly I know we all have a similar dream Go in your pocket, pull out your wallet And put it in the air and sing I wanna be a billionaire so fucking bad (so bad) Buy all of the things I never had (buy everything ha ha) Uh, I wanna be on the cover of Forbes magazine Smiling next to Oprah and the Queen (what up Oprah) Oh every time I close my eyes (what ya see, what you see brah?) I see my name in shining lights (uh huh, uh huh, what else?) A different city every night, oh I I swear the world better prepare (for what?) For when I'm a billionaire (yeah, sing it) Oh oooh oh oooh when I'm a billionaire Oh oooh oh oooh I wanna be a billionaire so fucking bad!♪
  • (Song ends)
  • Mordecai: That's a pretty good song.
  • Richard: (On Computer) Thanks. Hey, I won again.
  • Mordecai: You won?
  • Richard: (On Computer) Yeah.
  • Mordecai: Then, I shipped you a present since you won the lottery.
  • (Richard opens a present it is revealed to be the Lightsaber and the Sonic Screwdriver)
  • Richard: (On Computer) What's is this?
  • Mordecai: It's a Lightsaber and a Sonic Screwdriver. You could use it for safe keeping.
  • Richard: (On Computer) I will, Mordecai. Well, I gotta go. I'm going to the lottery plaza to cash in his ticket. Bye.
  • (Richard calls off)
  • Mordecai: Bye.
  • (Rigby, Dan Zembrovski, Troll Moko, Randy Cunningham and Howard Weinerman arrives)
  • Rigby: Hey, Mordecai, how's video chat with our old friends?
  • Mordecai: Great. Come on. Stark's needs us.
  • Rigby, Dan Zembrovski, Troll Moko, Randy Cunningham and Howard Weinerman: Right!
  • Iron Man: Here.
  • Mordecai: Uh, what's this?
  • Iron Man: A market list. The Farmer's Market two clicks to the south, and I'm sending you four on a supply run. Oh. [Laughs] Don't even think about without at least one cantaloupe fruit. Clear?
  • Mordecai, Rigby, Dan Zembrovski, Troll Moko, Randy Cunningham and Howard Weinerman: Clear.
  • Captain America: How do you expect them to find cantaloupe on Farmer's Market?
  • (At Farmer's Market)
  • Rigby: I got everything but the cantaloupes. Any luck?
  • Dan Zembrovski: No. And We don't think they meant for us to have luck.
  • Troll Moko: Well, someone has to be selling those things. Here, take this. I'll go find one.
  • Randy Cunningham: Seriously? You want us to carry your supplies?
  • Howard Weinerman: Yes!
  • Mordecai, Rigby, Dan Zembrovski, Troll Moko, Randy Cunningham and Howard Weinerman: Cantaloupes!
  • Mordecai: How much for the whole crate?
  • Manager: I'm sorry. They're already sold.
  • Rigby: Well, maybe we can buy one from--
  • Manager: From Sandman? [Laughs] Yeah, good luck.
  • Dan Zambrovski: Why are you smiling about?
  • Troll Moko: The obvious answer to our problem.
  • Randy Cunningham: Right. So what's the plan.
  • Howard Weinerman: [Gasps] [Spits, Laughing] We should go.
  • Mordecai: You go. We're getting what we came for.
  • Rigby: Wait, guys-- [Groans]
  • Sandman Goon: You there!
  • Dan Zembrovski: We'll just put this back.
  • Troll Moko: Run!
  • Sandman: Stop them!
  • Randy Cunningham: You made us lose the rest of the supplies! At least we're even.
  • Howard Weinerman: Even? Please. We had the whole situation under control.
  • Mordecai: [Groans] Come here!
  • Sandman Goon: Where they go?
  • Rigby: [Grunts]
  • Dan Zembrovski: Whoa!
  • Sandman Goon: Up there!
  • Troll Moko: Rigby!
  • Rigby: Just keep going. I'll catch up to you.
  • Sandman Goon: Split up!
  • Rigby: Oh. Hey, you don't have any cantaloupes, do you?
  • Pilot: There is nowhere to hide.
  • Sandman Goon: Hands up!
  • Pilot: [Whimpers]
  • Rigby: Never actually flown one of these before. Whoa!
  • Sandman Goon: Whoa!
  • Rigby: [Laughing] Ha, ha, ha! Too bad Mordecai, Dan, Troll, Randy and Howard wasn't here to see that. Whoa! [Laughs] Whew. On the other hand--
  • Troll Moko: Great. Just what we need. Rigby? Rigby! Hey, Rigby, let us in!
  • Rigby: So now, I'd be saving your life, right?
  • Randy Cunningham: What? Yeah, sure. Yes! Whatever!
  • Rigby: I let you in, we're even.
  • Howard Weinerman: Fine!
  • Rigby: You have to say it!
  • Mordecai: All right, all right. We're even. Now let us in! [Shouts]
  • (Mordecai, Dan Zembrovski, Troll Moko, Randy Cunningham and Howard Weinerman hops to the van)
  • Rigby: Don't crowd me. I'm driving here.
  • Dan Zembrovski: You don't know how. Let us. Whoa!
  • Rigby: Whoa!
  • Troll Moko: Turn the car!
  • Rigby: Let go!
  • Randy Cunningham: Turn the car!
  • Rigby: I'm trying! [Grunts] I can't see a thing!
  • Howard Weinerman: Gain altitude.
  • Rigby: I know.
  • Mordecai: Rigby.
  • Rigby: [Grunting]
  • Dan Zembrovski: We think we're too low.
  • Rigby: How can you tell? Why don't you clean the window?
  • Troll Moko: We need to turn. Turn!
  • Rigby: [Grunts] How did you know?
  • Randy Cunningham: Not sure. We just... knew.
  • Rigby: [Chuckles] Good. That's-- That's good. [Sighs] Now get out there and clean the canopy.
  • (At Avengers Tower)
  • Captain America: Have to admit, it's a lot more peaceful aboard with the kids gone.
  • Iron Man: Yeah, but we're feeling a bit guilty about feeling sending them--
  • Captain America: [Chuckles] On a wild cantaloupe chase?
  • Rigby: Rigby to Iron Man.
  • Iron Man: Ah, right on cue. Go ahead, Rigby.
  • Rigby: Right. well, we've has a bit of a problem.
  • Iron Man: We thought you might. Look, don't worry about the cantaloupes.
  • Howard Weinerman: Yeah, cantaloupes. Uh, we found some. But we lost them. Then we found them again. But we smashed them.
  • Rigby: Just cut to the chase, Howard.
  • Captain America: Wait! What are we hearing? It sounds like--
  • Mordecai: Yeah, about that. See, um-- well-- [quickly] We stole a van.
  • Captain America: YOU WHAT?!
  • Rigby: He's taking it better than we thought.
  • Captain America: Get rid of it!
  • All: Do we have to?
  • Captain America: [Sighs] At least tell us you dismantled the locater beacon.
  • Rigby: [Laughs] Of course. We're not fools. (whispering to Mordecai, Dan Zembrovski, Troll Moko, Randy Cunningham and Howard Weinerman) [Quietly] Under there. The red wire. No, wait. The blue.
  • Dan Zembrovski: Well, which one?
  • Captain America: [annoyed] It's the red and the blue.
  • Troll Moko: Right. Got it. W-We mean... got it a long time ago. You know, back when we first boarded. Right away. Immediately.
  • Captain America: Stealing a van attracts unwanted attention. Rendezvous at Shadow Site 2 Drive straight there. Do not stop. And don't do anything.
  • Rigby: On our way. Rigby out.
  • Randy Cunningham: That went well.
  • Rigby: Yeah.
  • Howard Weinerman: Do you know which way we're supposed to go?
  • Rigby: No idea. Okay. Navigation system's on line. Course set for rendezvous point.
  • Mordecai: Wait. What's that? Looks like smoke.
  • Rigby: Yeah.
  • Dan Zembrovski: We think We know where it's coming from. Go check it out. Please.
  • Rigby: [Sighs] There's a convo of troop transports heading northwest.
  • Troll Moko: What's the worst that could happen?
  • Rigby: Well, we both wind up dead.
  • Randy Cunningham: Besides that.
  • Rigby: Oh, boy. Here goes nothing. Attention, transports. This is Commander Cantaloupe.
  • Howard Weinerman: Cantaloupe? Seriously?
  • Rigby: Shh. [Clears Throat] There's a report of intruder activity in your sector. Reduce speed.
  • Sandman: Acknowledged, Commander. Reduce speed.
  • Rigby: You sure?
  • Mordecai: Just get us in close. [Grunts]
  • Sandman: A van? This is Sandman. My men reported a stolen van.
  • Rigby: That's not the van you're looking for. It's a totally different van. I sent it to, uh, seek out the heroes.
  • Sandman: Commander, repeat your operating number.
  • Rigby: [Imitating static] Sorry. Didn't catch that. But maintain current position.
  • Sandman: All transports, resume speed. And man the cannon. You see that van again, take your shot.
  • Rigby: Don't think he's taking Commander Cantaloupe's orders anymore.
  • (Mordecai, Dan Zembrovski, Troll Moko, Randy Cunningham and Howard Weinerman release the prisoners)
  • Pilot: Sir, someone's unlocked the prisoners.
  • Sandman: I want goons up top, now!
  • Mordecai, Dan Zembrovski, Troll Moko, Randy Cunningham and Howard Weinerman: Whoa.
  • Pilot: Sir, the prisoners are escaping.
  • Sandman: Open fire.
  • Rigby: That gun turret's gonna be a problem. This car has no shields.
  • Dan Zembrovski: Working on it. Well, hello, stranger.
  • Sandman Goon: Maintain fire. His shots won't penetrate your armor. What the Aaah!
  • Troll Moko: Not bad.
  • Sandman Goon: Gotcha.
  • Mordecai, Dan Zembrovski, Troll Moko, Randy Cunningham and Howard Weinerman: Whoa.
  • Sandman Goon: Wait! You did all this for fruit?
  • Randy Cunningham: No! Okay, maybe a little. There's gotta be something useful in here. A wrench? A wrench! All for fruit! [Gasps] Not bad, ace.
  • Rigby: Gotcha!
  • Howard Weinerman: Uh, how are you driving this thing?
  • Rigby: [Grunting]
  • Mordecai: Thanks for the save. Guess we owe you now.
  • Rigby: Let's just say we're eternally even. Oh. You collect these, right?
  • Dan Zembrovski: Yeah. So, what do we do about the van? [Chuckling]
  • Rigby: [Grunts]
  • Mordecai, Rigby, Dan Zembrovski, Troll Moko, Randy Cunningham and Howard Weinerman: [Chuckling]
  • Captain America: Ah, they should have been here by now.
  • Iron Man: Over there!
  • Rigby: One fresh cantaloupe, as ordered.
  • Iron Man: Thank you, kind sir.
  • Rigby: Team effort.
  • Captain America: Forget about the fruit. Where's the van?
  • Rigby: [Sighs] We crashed it.
  • Troll Moko: On purpose. Uh, we didn't want it to fall back into Sandman's hand.
  • Captain America: That's what we like to hear.
  • Rigby: [Sighs, chuckles]
  • Mordecai, Rigby, Dan Zembrovski, Troll Moko, Randy Cunningham and Howard Weinerman: [Laughs]
  • Rigby: [Grunts, laughing]
  • Iron Man: At least they got rid of the van.
  • Captain America: [Inhales, exhales]
  • Rigby: Uh. [Sighs]
  • [End of Fighter Drive 2]

Trivia

  • It is revealed that Richard is very lucky at lottery, having won 33 times.

Gallery

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