Fearless Vampire Killers (also unkown as Dance Of The Vampires in Europe) is an American PG musical supernatural horror comedy live-action film that is a remake of Fearless Vampire Killers 1967 film and a 1997 musical, Dance Of The Vampires. This film recieved 89% percent of positive reviews from many fans.
Some time in the late 19th century, Professor Abronsius and Alfred, his young but bumbling sidekick, arrive in a small Jewish shtetl somewhere in the Carpathians, where they hope to prove the Professor's theory that vampires actually do exist. Naturally, the villagers are in deep denial and refuse to confirm his beliefs. Nearly freezing to death in the nearby woods (Hey, Ho, Hey), the two are taken in by Chagal, a stereotypical Jewish inkeeper who spends most of his free time lusting after Magda, his beautiful non-Jewish chambermaid, much to the disdain of his long suffering wife, Rebecca (Garlic).
After exploring the rooms upstairs in which they are staying (Please, Gentleman), Alfred discovers and is smitten by Chagal's beautiful seventeen-year-old daughter, Sarah. Chagal is very protective of his child, going as far as boarding up her room so she wouldn't bathe around the two guests (A Beautiful Daughter is a Blessing). That night, Alfred and Sarah sing of their mutual attraction, while Chagal does some more fooling around with the maid, and Abronsius is swiftly knocked on the head by Chagal's wife (Never Seen). Unknown to Alfred, late at night Sarah is serenaded by a mysterious stranger, promising her eternal life and power (God is Dead).
The next morning, the Professor bears witness to a small business exchange between Chagal and Koukol, a hideous hunchback living somewhere in the woods (Everything's Bright). He inquires about the odd man (Truth), but Chagal refuses to discuss the matter. That same night, Sarah tricks Alfred into giving up his bath for her (You're Really Very Nice) and as she joyfully soaps her sponge, Count von Krolock, an aristocratic vampire breaks into the bathroom from the roof above and invites her to a midnight ball at his castle (Invitation to the Ball). He is about to bite the girl, but Alfred, who has been spying on Sarah's bathing ritual, screams for help. Chagal and Rebecca arrive, furious. Sarah's father spanks her and forbids her to ever go outside.
However, later that night, Koukol arrives by the inn and leaves a red bundle for Sarah on the doorstep. She sneaks outside and discovers it to be a pair of expensive red boots. Alfred comes outside as well and professes his love to her (Outside is Freedom). The two plan on running off together and Sarah asks Alfred to go back into the house to fetch her sponge. With Alfred gone, Sarah fantasizes about the fantastical, romantic vampire ball she could be missing and decides to accept the Count's invitation (Stronger Than We Are). She runs off into the woods. Alfred starts a panic, Chagal and Rebecca rush outside, but it's too late and Sarah's gone. Chagal wraps himself in garlic and runs into the woods after his daughter.
The next morning, Chagal's frozen body is found; Rebecca is devastated (Mourning For Chagal). Professor Abronsius discovers small puncture wounds all over the body, but the villagers, still in denial, assume they came from wolf bites. The Professor hands Rebecca a wooden stake and explains she must puncture Chagal's heart in order to prevent him from becoming a vampire. Hysterical, Rebecca chases him and Alfred out of the room, covering her husband with a bedsheet and swearing that she would never let anyone violate his corpse.
In the middle of the night, Magda sneaks downstairs to look at Chagal's corpse, expressing mixed feelings about his death and the sexual advances she was forced to endure while Chagal was alive (To be Dead is Strange). Suddenly, Chagal sits up, now a vampire. Magda tries to fend him off with a crucifix, but being a Jewish vampire, he manages to overpower her and feed on her blood, killing her in the process. Alfred and the Professor sneak into the room as well, planning to stake Chagal, but they find Magda's body there instead. A chase ensues and the two finally corner Chagal, who begs for mercy and promises to show them the route to the vampire's castle where his daughter supposedly is held if he's spared.
Chagal leads the two heroes to a giant castle in the woods (Through the Wilderness to the Castle), where they are greeted by the mysterious Count von Krolock and his flamboyant son Herbert, who is instantly attracted to Alfred (In Front of the Castle). Von Krolock invites the two men into his domain and the two reluctantly accept his invitation.
Sarah is indeed at Count von Krolock's castle, wandering the dark empty halls and considering what her relationship with the Count truly is. The Count appears to welcome her and manages to resist biting her, planning to save her for the ball the next night (Total Eclipse). At the same time, Alfred is asleep with the Professor in a guest bedroom in another part of the castle, suffering from terrifying nightmares in which he loses Sarah to bloodthirsty vampires (Carpe noctem).
The next morning, Alfred wants to find Sarah and flee the castle (A Perfect Day/For Sarah), but Professor Abronsius is more concerned with staking Von Krolock and Herbert. Alfred and the Professor make their way to the crypt (In the Crypt), where they locate the two vampires. The Professor becomes stuck on a bannister as he attempts to get into the crypt and assigns Alfred to kill von Krolock and his son, but Alfred can't bring himself to drive a stake through their hearts. Before the Professor can think of something else, he hears a noise and the hapless duo flee the crypt just as Chagal arrives with Magda's coffin. Magda climbs out, now a vampire, and finally concedes to having a sexual relationship with Chagal.
Alfred and the Professor continue searching the castle and separate in the library (Books, Books). Alfred comes across a small bedroom where he finds Sarah in the bathroom, apparently unharmed. Alfred begs for her to leave, but Sarah refuses, saying she wants to stay for the midnight ball. She coaxes Alfred to leave the room (involving another encounter in the library, Still More Books) while she gets dressed, but when Alfred returns, Sarah is gone and Herbert is in her place. Herbert tries flirting with the confused and terrified "hero" (When Love is Inside You), which culminates with him lunging at Alfred's neck, but the Professor comes in the nick of time and hits the young vampire with an umbrella
As Alfred and the Professor make it outside, the sun sets and they are confronted by von Krolock, who mocks the Professor's naive attempt to destroy him (You're Wrong, Professor). To their horror, the two watch a whole mob of vampires rise up from a nearby church yard and head towards the ballroom (Eternity). As the vampires leave their resting places, von Krolock reflects on his painful damnation as a member of the undead (The Insatiable Greed), which Alfred overhears, but the Professor dismisses von Krolock as nothing more than a monster.
The vampires arrive in the castle and the ball begins (The Dance Hall). Alfred and Professor Abronisus sneak their way inside dressed as members of the undead. Count von Krolock appears at the top of the stairs to introduce his "guest," whom he forbids the other vampires to touch. Sarah enters the ballroom in an elegant red ball gown and approaches von Krolock. He is quick to embrace her with a bite, draining her blood. The Count then proceeds to dance with the weakened Sarah as the other vampires join them in a menuet. Alfred and the Professor plan to sneak Sarah out during the dance, but unfortunately for them, a mirror is unveiled, blowing their cover since they're the only ones reflected. Von Krolock commands his vampire flock to attack Alfred and his mentor, but the former manages to form a makeshift cross out of two candelabras, causing a diversion. The three humans make their escape as von Krolock, furious, sends Koukol chasing after the girl.
Koukol chases Alfred, Sarah and the Professor through the woods, but is attacked by wolves and killed. The three heroes stop on a small hillside to rest. Alfred once more professes his love to Sarah and the two lovers embrace (Outside is Freedom - Reprise). They then made it back to the shtetl and cures Sarah. Eventually both Alfred and Sarah are married in London. In front of the church's entrance, von Krolock looks and does an evil "I'll be back" smile,
- Overture (for the logos and beginning/opening credits)
- Hey, Ho, Hey
- Please, Gentlemen
- A Beautiful Daughter is a Blessing
- Never Seen
- God is Dead
- Everything's Bright
- You're Really Very Nice
- Invitation to the Ball
- Outside is Freedom
- The Red Boots
- Mourning for Chagal
- To Be Dead is Strange
- Through the Wilderness to the Castle
- In Front of the Castle
- Total Eclipse
- Carpe Noctem
- A Perfect Day
- In the Crypt
- Books, Books
- For Sarah
- Still More Books
- When Love is Inside You
- You're Wrong, Professor
- The Insatiable Greed
- The Ballroom
- Outside is Freedom - Reprise
- The Dance of the Vampires (in the alternate ending only)
The alternate ending of this film was originally gonna be similar to the ending of Dance of the vampires musical, by having Alfred and Professor being too late to save Sarah, they didn't make it on time as she already become a vampire during the reprise of Outside is Freedom, as Sarah bites Alfred and encorages Alfred to lick up the blood on him as he too becomes a vampire, then eventually, the theme song (The Dance of the Vampires) plays as the vampires began to take over the world. This alternate ending recieved negative reviews from both critics and the test audience, as one test audience said "You killed our beloved heroes and made the evil vampires won, this ending is nothing but garbage", so it was cut from the film and was replaced with a "happier" ending, much like what happened to the alternate ending of Little Shop of Horrors 1986 film. But like the alternate ending of Little Shop of Horrors, it was one of the most expensive alternate endings ever made in movie history, with so much special effects (fake blood, cgi, miniature sets, etc) being made for this ending, along with lots of casts (who played as either innocent people of villages or blood-thirsty vampires), and the huge sets. This ending disturbed and terrified test audiences, and thus it was scrapped, but due to demands from some fans who wanted to see this alternate ending restored, this alternate ending made it into the deleted scenes in special features in the DVD and Blueray editions for this movie.
Alternate Ending's Plot
(After Alfred and Sarah had escaped from Koukol [since Koukol was killed by a pack of wolves], Sarah stops for a rest as Alfred waits nearby)
(As Alfred holds Sarah in his arms, he then sings)
Alfred: ♪Sarah you are weak... come, rest safely in my arms♪
(Sarah then wakes up again)
Alfred: ♪Everything will be alright, I'll keep the ghosts at bay. I will stay awake and protect you from all danger, our nightmare is now over, and and dawn's not far away♪
Alfred and Sarah: ♪Life will change now you're mine, I won't be alone, I won't be confined♪
Sarah: ♪I'll go where I may♪
Alfred: ♪I'll show what I feel♪
Sarah: ♪I'll bathe every day♪
Alfred and Sarah: ♪Beyond the forest, beyond the mountains, a new world can dawn now, past the horizon, a new life waits for you and me, land full of wonders, where dreams become reality♪
Alfred: ♪Walls can never keep us apart, there's no obstacle we can't overcome, stay by me, and you'll see...♪
Alfred and the vampirified Sarah: We can fly to heaven, touch the stars, leave our fears right where they are, past the horizon, the future waits for you and me, past the hori...♪
(Sarah then bites Alfred in the neck and drinks his blood, as Alfred falls over and sees his blood on his hand)
Alfred: What is that?
Vampire Sarah: Blood, darling. Lick it up!
Alfred: Not bad.
(Nearby, Professor, sitting on the rock, then sings)
Professor: ♪Now we are safe, we have made it after all, I was smarter than the fiends of the night, those fools at Heidelberg will eat their hearts out for they must admit I always was right♪
(The vampire Sarah then completely turns Alfred into a vampire)
Professor: ♪Once and for all I have proven beyond doubt that these creatures are real and alive, they've got a bite cutting the skin like a knife, but we've got reason and sense, they cannot hurt us since we're out of the dark from whence they came, we're very sure of our goals and know which path we must take after all we are wide awake, the human race is in motion, the world will never be the same♪
(As Professor leaves an area, with the vampirified Alfred and Sarah stalking him, possibly turning him to a vampire too like Alfred and Sarah, the time lapse shows the process of the vampires taking over the world over many years until present times)
1st Female Vampire: ♪Go break a heart or your heart will be broken, go betray your friend or else get betrayed, grab your chance before it's too late if you're frightful you must not be afraid♪
1st Female Vampire and 1st Male Vampire: ♪Better to batter than to be beaten, use your elbows or get jostled yourself, better to eat than to find you've been eaten, no one cares for you so care for yourself♪
All Vampires: ♪Now our life in the darkness is over, we'll be in the rings of the sun, we are sure of our goals and know which path we must take, we don't live, we don't die, but we are are wide awake, we are in motion and soon the world will be won, before you know it's begun, so all of you out there watch out, how we're gonna advance, watch out, we've got the world in our hands, watch out, you're gonna see the vampires dance, you're gonna see the vampires dance, let the revels begin, let the fire be started, the world is for the reckless and the stony-hearted, let the devils come in, let the fire be started, the world is for the feckless and phony-hearted, let the revels begin, let the fire be started, you're gonna see the vampires dance, we've got the world in our hands, the world is for the feckless and phony-hearted, you're gonna see the vampires dance, we've got the world in our hands, let the devils come in, let the fire be started, you're gonna se the vampires dance, we've got the world in our hands, let the revels begin, let the fire be started, you're gonna see the vampires dance, we've got the world in our hands, we are tired of darkness, now we want to have fun, so come on you freaks and friends our everlasting dance has begun, you're gonna see the vampires dance, we've got the world in our hands, you're gonna see the vampires dance, we've got the world in our hands♪
(The vampires then started to attack the civilians around the world, from Hong Kong, to England, to New York, everywhere all over the world, turning all people on earth into vampires)
All Vampires (including the vampirified civilians): ♪We are tired of darkness, now we want to have fun, so come on you freaks and friends our everlasting dance had begun, come on our freaks and friends, you're gonna see the vampires dance, our everlasting dance has begun, we've got the world in our hands, come on our freaks and friends, you're gonna see the vampires dance, our everlasting dance has begun, we've got the world in our hands, come on our freaks and friends, you're gonna see the vampires dance, our everlasting dance has begun, we've got the world in our hands, we drink your blood and then we eat your soul, nothing's gonna stop us, let the bad times roll, we drink your blood and then we eat your soul, nothing's gonna stop us, let the bad times roll, we drink your blood and then we eat your soul, nothing's gonna stop us, let the bad times roll, we drink your blood and then we eat your soul, nothing's gonna stop us, let the bad times roll, you're gonna see the vampires dance♪
(One of the male vampires break through the fourth wall and lunges at the audience, with the camera zooming into its mouth with sharp fangs, implying that the audiences also got turned into vampires)