Fanon Wiki
Advertisement

Scene 1: We Do It Again

  • (The movie starts with King Julien banging on the square Looney-Tunes-esque bullseye as the words "The End" appear in front of him.)
  • Director: (off-screen): Cut! That's a wrap!
  • King Julien: We're done? Really?
  • Director: Yes. The movie is over.
  • King Julien: (opens the bullseye's door) Okay, everyone. You can come out now.
  • (SpongeBob, Patrick, Sandy, Phineas, Ferb, Perry, and the penguins come out of the bullseye, as people walk past by them with movie equipment as they leave the studio.)
  • SpongeBob: Julien, you did magnificent. Or should I say "swag"-nificent. (dolphin chatter-like laugh)
  • Patrick: (chuckles) Good one, SpongeBob.
  • Sandy: Don't push it, Patrick.
  • Phineas: SpongeBob, that was incredible.
  • SpongeBob: Thank you, Phineas.
  • Private: Are you sure we got this, Skipper?
  • Skipper: Exact-a-mundo, Private.
  • Kowalski: Yes, we did.
  • Rico: Uh-huh.
  • (A human director's hand holding a megaphone appears.)
  • Director: Alright. Wrap it up. The movie's over, folks. We can go home now. (The arm and the megaphone gets out of the shot. Masikura comes in.)
  • Masikura: Okay, everybody, movie's over. You can put everything away. (She gives the clapboard to a crew member.) Here you go. Put everything back. Movie's over. Okay, we don't need to make any more scenes. We're mixing it up into the editing room right now. No more movie. Movie's over. We're done.
  • (The room is now empty. But, SpongeBob, Patrick, Sandy, Phineas, Ferb, Perry, the penguins, King Julien, and Masikura are still in the room, and are joined by Squidward, Mr. Krabs, Isabella, Baljeet, Buford, Maurice, Mort, and Marlene.)
  • Masikura: Anyway, now, what are we gonna do?
  • Patrick: Well, now that we're united, changed the future, and everyone is at peace... (He turns to notice that the room is empty.)
  • Buford: What do you mean, everyone? They were just in the background.
  • Maurice: Mm-hmm.
  • Patrick: What about some I just saw singing with us?
  • Masikura: Uh, they were just paid.
  • Patrick: Oh. I see.
  • Mr. Krabs: What about me? Was I paid too?
  • Masikura: No.
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh. I see.
  • Isabella: Here's a thought for you. We're all here now, right?
  • Sandy: Right. Your point is?
  • Isabella: I was just thinking that maybe Phineas and I would like to have some time alone.
  • Phineas: Well, um, uh, we'll think of something.
  • Private: (looks at the camera) You know, Skipper, I noticed something.
  • Skipper: What's that?
  • Private: Why is the camera still shooting? Did someone forget to turn it off or something?
  • Rico: I dunno.
  • Squidward: Wait a minute. I know that feeling.
  • Candace: That's it, then.
  • Squidward: What does it all mean?
  • Candace: We've got another movie to do again.
  • Squidward: (groans as he covers his eyes and leaves, and so does Candace. But behind them, SpongeBob turns around wearing a glittery tuxedo. A spotlight lights up on him.)
  • (Song: "We Do It Again")
  • SpongeBob: It's been just a matter of time, back when we collided our four worlds. We had hoped and feared that at the movie's end, it would leave you feeling that your brain has thrilled.
  • (The tempo picks up.)
  • SpongeBob: At least we know that it's on DVD. So, the movie will probably live on. But the crew came back to us in a hurry. We didn't even know that they weren't gone.
  • Phineas: We don't mean to upset anyone, or maybe feel like such absolute fools. But, we had so much fun making a movie together, but a lot of work. That's the only thing that drools.
  • Patrick, Sandy, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs: We've been nervous wrecks going inside TV, which really happened for just one day. But the question is what to do now, especially since it all gone away.
  • Candace, Isabella, Baljeet, and Buford: Should we kick back and relax under a tree, or maybe ask a boyfriend where to go. Is it time that we call it quits? The answer to that is no.
  • All, with anchovies and animal agents: Because we do it again, with another feature hit. You may not know that it's true, but we're already doing it. We won't rest our derrières while watching some TV. It's time for us to get back to work. It's all true as you can see. We do it again, we won't leave on the job. New story, new adventure, and a new thingamabob. It's totally new this time, with a different perspective. If you liked our last movie, you're gonna love this, respective.
  • Skipper: We're on a brand new mission, we feel that right down to my downy feathers. As long as we pull this one off, we guarantee we can do it together.
  • King Julien: We know we're going to brand new places, and we're going to make new friends. We'll be facing some new enemies, too. With their vile plots around the bend.
  • Marlene: For a movie with so much in it, and a whole lot of calamity, we begin to wonder to ourselves, where we'll find the right personality.
  • Clover: The studio making this movie, would never even try to infringe us. So, it's only being made for fair use. Our own trademarks we wouldn't discuss.
  • Kowalski, Private, and Rico: Our fans wanted us to make this happen. here we all are together in this set. A lot of people have come to work hard, on a movie our fans won't ever forget.
  • Maurice, Mort, and Masikura: We understand that it's hard work to convey, and it takes so much to make a scene. But here we are doing it right now, once again on the silver screen.
  • All, with chameleons and rats: That's why we do it again, with another big screen flick. We're kicking things off with a new opening kick. Yes, we did one for the last one, this is a direct follow-up. Our crew is back in action and back with makeup. We do it again, we won't leave it all behind. Just be happy that you won't be able to see us resigned. We're back to working tirelessly to bring you this new adventure. If you loved our last movie, you'll love this new treasure.
  • SpongeBob: As we give this second installment a try, along with familiar folk you see, you're also gonna spy.
  • King Julien: A whole bunch of new friends and foes, voiced by an all-star cast.
  • Skipper: There are even a few special appearances by the vast.
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Not to argue or to be insufficient or anything.
  • Major Monogram: Didn't your franchises have multiple sequels? All we're asking.
  • Phineas: Yeah, but this is the second movie we'd be doing together.
  • SpongeBob: The only thing we're missing is the plot. Does any know whether...
  • King Julien: I do. It is a daring romantic tale of a handsome lemur king and a pretty otter.
  • SpongeBob: What else do you got?
  • Patrick: This movie should be about four worlds going inside television to stop some enemies of theirs from taking over the world.
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, you clearly didn't watch that film, did you?
  • Isabella: A movie about a young boy who is in love with a young girl, and they get married, and they give each other an epic kiss.
  • SpongeBob: Well...
  • Hans: (groaning indistinct grammer)
  • (Subtitles: There should be a film about the neverending enigma of sacred religion.)
  • SpongeBob: Subtitles? Really?
  • (Just then, Ivan Eefildur approaches SpongeBob.)
  • Ivan: (whispering) Have them return to TV to perform live.
  • SpongeBob: That's it!
  • (Cut to a big finale where SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, Mr. Krabs, Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, Baljeet, Buford, Skipper, Kowalski, Private, Marlene, King Julien, Maurice, Mort, and Masikura wearing glittery tuxedos dancing in front of some dancing non-singing show girls wearing glittery tux jackets.)
  • All: We do it again, with another feature presentation. Just when you think it's over, it is all a fabrication. If you stay into your seats for a couple of hours, we have another ambition to show you we're in power. We do it again, with the start of something new. All it needs is a title.
  • Clover: Let's call it "Channel Chasers 2."
  • All: Channel Chasers 2 it is, and as for all of thou...
  • Sandy and Candace: Sit back and relax...
  • All: For it's time to start... the movie right now! (sustain note)
  • (The dancers continue dancing in perfect choreography, while Agent P and Rico fires two cannons. When the song ends and the dancers make their final pose, the cannons sets off revealing Dr. Doofenshmirtz and Cannonball Jenkins flying away.)
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Curse you, Perry the Platypus!
  • Jenkins: Yee-haw!
  • "SpongeBob SquarePants", "Phineas and Ferb", "The Penguins of Madagascar", and "All Hail King Julien" in..."
  • "Channel Chasers: Most 2 Wanted"

Scene 2: Enemy Escape

  • TV Announcer #1: And now it's time for, "OMPOW."
  • (The scene opens at a jail between a bookstore and a orthodontist office at night. Inside, a cell door breaks open by an explosion. Out enters a sponge who looks like SpongeBob, except he has silver sybernetics covering half his face, and a bird leg for an arm. He escapes his cell.)
  • TV Announcer #2: And now, back to "Diver Sun."
  • (At a kingdom at night, in a dungeon, two Tubians, which are a race of humanoid monsters, are standing guard, until they hear someone breaking out. The criminal is a human boy who looks like Phineas, except he has longer hair. He escapes his cell too.)
  • TV Announcer #3: You're watching "Darby: Way Behind Ya."
  • (At the village of Keppyville, it is nighttime. At the police station, a gate gets banged on and eventually falls down, revealing a penguin who looks like Skipper, wearing a hood, and is carrying a mallet..
  • TV Announcer #4: And now, back to "The RogueRuff Girls."
  • Narrator: The city of Metroplesberg, a town where petty miscreants run rampant, but thanks to the Rogue Ruff Girls, they defeat them, save the day, and put them in the jail. Home to the town's most dangerous criminals, especially to its resident scientifically experimented primate, Hojo Momo.
  • (A cell door breaks open, and falls down revealing a ring-tailed lemur who looks like King Julien, except wearing a tuxedo collar, who walks out of his cell.)
  • Magic Steve: That is not my name.
  • Narrator: S-s-s-s-sorry.
  • (Back at "OMPOW," a prison guard walks through the hall, looking for anything, or anyone, suspiscious lurking around, until he gets attacked by the escapee. In Keppyville Police Station, two Keppy guards are armed with guns, when they see the penguin convict slap them in the leg, causing the two guards to collapse. The penguin takes the guns. In Metroplesburg Jail, the lemur convict presses a button, which allows all of the prison doors to open. At the cell hall, monster prisoners of all shapes and sizes come out of their cells. At "OMPOW," the sponge is ready to attack.)
  • "Hamabra: Creepily-Faced Living Sponge with A+ at Vileness and E- at Driving"
  • Hamabra: Come and get it.
  • (He dives into a bucket of water, and he slides down the hallway, and into the door. The guards give chase, and start to slip on the water Hamabra left behind and fall.)
  • (Back at "Diver Sun," Danvers prepares his move.)
  • "Danvers: Powerful Un-Aged Villainousest Kid"
  • Danvers: Let's do this.
  • (Danvers makes his way down the halls and through the castle, attacking the guards with his launcher which releases baseballs. He made his way to the castle door.)
  • (Back at "Darby Way Behind Ya!", the penguin stands against the Keppy guards.)
  • "King Pompeii: King of Wish World and Roguest Penguin"
  • Pompeii: You didn't see anything.
  • (He starts tobogganing through the Keppy guards and slapping them in the process, until he reaches the door.)
  • (Next, Magic Steve invites the human guards to a brawl.)
  • "Hojo Momo Magic Steve: Revived Magic King"
  • Magic Steve: Alakazam!
  • (He throws down a smoke pellet, which didn't work at making him disappear. So, he did the only thing he can do: leap at the guards, and attack them down the hall, until he reaches the door, allowing him to escape.)
  • (Cut to the TV Universe, where Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve zap out of nowhere in front of four cubes showing their respective shows.)
  • Hamabra: Are you ready to rock?
  • Danvers: Let's fire this baby up.
  • Pompeii: Tonight, I'm gonna blow this dump.
  • Magic Steve: Let's raise the roof and set this jungle on fire.
  • (They set off really massive explosions on their four cells connecting into each other. Some statics change the scene to Perch Perkins, Bridgette Oshinomi, Chuck Charles, and Xixi.)
  • Perch Perkins: We interrupt this program for an important announcement. This is Perch Perkins reporting from the studios where they used to shoot "OMPOW."
  • Bridgette Oshinomi: We interrupt this program with some breaking news. This is Bridgette Oshinomi with some breaking news.
  • Chuck Charles: This is Chuck Charles with an important report.
  • Xixi: I'm Xixi, world-class reporter giving you news both foreign and domesticated.
  • Perch Perkins: Hamabra, the creepily faced talking and walking sponge from "OMPOW" escaped from the comb drawer from the studio where they were making the show.
  • Bridgette Oshinomi: It's been sixty years since Diver Danvers, the un-aged antagonist of "Diver Sun" accepted his final defeat and got sent to jail for reals. And just now, he has escaped.
  • Chuck Charles: This just in: Pompeii, the roguest penguin escaped from prison where they precisely are filming "the RogueRuff Girls."
  • Xixi: Magic Steve, the second-chance given pet ring-tailed lemur has escaped from Metroplesberg Jail from the show "The RogueRuff Girls".
  • Perch Perkins: This move has made Hamabra absorb power and get a place at #1 most wanted inanimate object if there ever was one in the world.
  • Bridgette Oshinomi: This helped him literally rise up out of the bottom of the ocean making him ranked #1 criminal not only in "Diver sun", but also in real life itself.
  • Chuck Charles: This maneuver managed Pompeii to toboggan his way to #1 most wanted animal in the world.
  • Xixi: With that, it helped leaping lemur Magic Steve to #1 most wanted dangerous animal in the universe.
  • Perch Perkins: Posing him in front of some unusual being.
  • Bridgette Oshinomi: Whoever this unusual being is, his true identity remains a mystery.
  • Chuck Charles: In other news, I've been told that... (He gets yanked by a vaudeville cane.)
  • Xixi: Okay, let's cut to a commercial, then. Shall we?
  • (The broken TV set gets pushed to Andy Fairfax, the Madagascan flying fox bat.)
  • Andy: Hey, kids. Are you tired of gooey grime all over your huts and intrusive family members who have been constantly bothering you lately?
  • Lemur Children: Yeah.
  • Andy: Then you're gonna love our newest member of our home protection family, the Fairfax Mudskippers. They suck every last bit of muck that sticks to every bit of surface like food that sticks to your teeth and you wouldn't get out and... (The lemur children look at him confused.) Heh. I mean, the best part is, on outdoor occasions, you get free mud baths, just as long as its mud doesn't hit your huts or any of its windows. (A mudskipper squirts mud at a lemur child, making the other lemur children laugh. The mudskipper suddenly squirts mud all over the lemur children, making them cheer.) And if you act now, you'll get the Fairfax Mudskipper Jr. for free. Blue for boys, and pink for girls. (He tosses the little mudskippers to the lemur children.) Give 'em a whirl, or your money back guaranteed. (He turn the other direction and opens his suitcase, with scorpions and criminal tools, and chuckles.) Those idiots are going to get what they deserved. (He grabs the suitcase with his feet and flies off laughing.)

Scene 3: Everything's Going My Way

  • (Song: "Everything's Going My Way")
  • (We see the palm tree island from the "SpongeBob SquarePants" theme song, as we dive right down to Bikini Bottom.)
  • French Narrator: Ah, the deep blue sea. So beautiful, so majestic, so... wet. Anyway, the sea teaming with undersea life living peacefully in harmony. Witness one of its inhabitants enjoying the daylight, right about now.
  • (We go inside SpongeBob's house and in his bedroom, SpongeBob is sleeping. Suddenly, a foghorn alarm sounds off, waking up SpongeBob, as he turns off the foghorn alarm and jumps out of bed and into his bathtub where he begins his shower.)
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Sun came up, for my day has begun. I’ve always hoped my day will be so much fun. I promise myself that I’d do it all today. As everything’s going my way.
  • (SpongeBob jumps out of the shower, slips through the wringer, and stops at the sink, where he uses his double-bristled toothbrush to brush his eyes instead of his teeth. Gary fetches SpongeBob his traditional brown pants with white shirt and red necktie.)
  • SpongeBob: I feel as as fresh as a clear day in Springtime. I’m starting a new chapter in my fry cooking time. I can see that I couldn’t come up with a rhyme for Spring. But I just caught myself in the moment which I sing.
  • (SpongeBob goes down the stairs to have cereal at the kitchen table.)
  • SpongeBob: I’ve never been this cheerful before. I believe that’s out of reach, wish I could say more. I’m really looking forward to what I’d love to do. The things I do for tried and true.
  • (As SpongeBob heads out the door, he walks past Squidward's house, where Squidward looks out the window and immediately closes it. As SpongeBob passes Patrick's rock, the rock opens up to reveal Patrick.)
  • Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob!
  • SpongeBob: Hi Patrick.
  • Patrick: Would you like to go jellyfishing with me and Sandy after your shift at the Krusty Krab?
  • SpongeBob: I would love to, Patrick.
  • Patrick: Great! We'll see you at the Krusty Krab.
  • SpongeBob: Now, what was I saying? Oh, yes.
  • (A though bubble comes above SpongeBob's head, as images of the following activities appear in it.)
  • SpongeBob: Like flipping crabby patties at the Krusty Krab. Jellyfishing with Patrick, even though he’s a slab. Karate-chopping with Sandy, or lifting weights with Larry. Or saving the formula from Plankton, or playing with Gary. Or literally driving Mrs. Puff crazy, or cheerleading with Pearl. Or maybe even listening to Squidward play his best clarinet solo in the world.
  • (The thought bubble disappears with a poof, as SpongeBob continues walking to the Krusty Krab.)
  • SpongeBob: Either way, I can’t wait to see what today brings. I guess I can start with one of my favorite things. So I guess that all I have to say is that everything is going my way.
  • (SpongeBob continues singing his way to the Krusty Krab, until we cut to a static.)
  • Realistic Fish Head: We interrupt your regularly scheduled song for this fascinating news story.
  • (Perch Perkins is seen sitting at his desk.)
  • Perch Perkins: Thank you, Johnny. It is hard to believe that it was earlier this summer when local resident SpongeBob SquarePants was inside television and guest starring on multiple TV shows with his friends and some humans and land animals who appear to be nice. And longtime Chum Bucket owner Plankton, and some friends of his own, having to chase them all around wanting to go on Dictator Week on The Biographical Channel.
  • (Cut to the Krusty Krab, where Patrick, Sandy, Squidward, Mr. Krabs, and some fish customers are watching the report.)
  • Mr. Krabs: Listen, everybody. SpongeBob's coming up.
  • Perch Perkins: And here to tell us the whole story, here's SpongeBob SquarePants.
  • (Live music plays and an audience applauds as SpongeBob enters the news studio.)
  • SpongeBob: Thank you so much for having me here, Perch.
  • Patrick: It's great to see him on TV again.
  • Sandy: I agree, Patrick.
  • Squidward: I disagree.
  • (At the news studio...)
  • SpongeBob: Can you believe it's actually been one entire day when I've gone into television with my friends? That was a huge adventure.
  • Perch Perkins: We are so happy to have you here with us, well, not as happy as Wyatt.
  • (A fish named Wyatt comes out.)
  • Wyatt: (gasps) Oh, my gosh! It's really him! (He faints.)
  • SpongeBob: Hi, Wyatt. Good to meet you.
  • (Meanwhile, at the Chum Bucket, Plankton is watching SpongeBob on the giant monitor.)
  • Plankton: (groans) Unbelievable. This is just unbelievable! All these worthless years of getting the Krabby Patty secret formula. All i wanted was ask for one patty. Is that too much to ask? Feh! This time, I'm not going to sit on the sofa and watch hamsters running on wheels and eating chips, and I can't let Krabs and that fry cook of his keep the formula, either. Or maybe it's just another story. The point is it's just too unbearable to not have a single customer through the entire Chum Bucket history!
  • (Just then, the doors swing open to reveal Hamabra.)
  • Hamabra: Attention, underlings. (He realizes that the restaurant is empty, well, almost.) If there is anybody here at this time. Anyhoo, introductions are in order. Ah, introductions, schmintroductions. The name's Hamabra. Former main antagonist of "Talking Inanimate Object Theatre." I ain't ever getting any pay from youse.
  • (Plankton turns to see Hamabra and becomes awestruck.)
  • Plankton: (screams in a high-pitched girly voice) I can't believe it! He's here! My real first regular customer being the villain from "Talking Inanimate Object Theatre!"
  • Karen: If I didn't know better, I'd say he looks familiar to that fry cook, SpongeBob.
  • Hamabra: Don't you even watch my show? Because it would've been pulled off from the schedule!
  • Karen: Sorry, no offense. (to Plankton) Did you see the way he burst in like that?
  • Plankton: As in being super disgusted?
  • Karen: I think you need to have a conversation with him.
  • Plankton: Okay. (He walks to Hamabra.) Excuse me. I need to have a talk with you.
  • Hamabra: What do you want?
  • Plankton: Well, about this resemblance to Krabs' fry cook...
  • Hamabra: Yeah?
  • Plankton: Is that true?
  • Hamabra: Nah.
  • Plankton: Changing the topic now. Mr. Krabs has been keeping the secret formula for the Krabby Patty for as long as anyone can remember, and I've tried multiple ways to steal the formula. Each and every one of them ended in disaster. It all went downhill! Kaboom! I need some help from you to retrieve the formula.
  • Hamabra: I ain't helpin' ya. In fact, I ain't helping anybody. I have something even huger to steal. I can take care of everything myself. You might even say I'm my own boss.
  • Plankton: Karen, where were we about him looking like that square yellow doofus?
  • Karen: I don't know about this, but he could be more intimidating than him.
  • (Karen laughs, as Plankton growls in frustration, and eventually starts yelling from the top of his lungs.)

Scene 4: With Phineas and Ferb

  • (Scene opens at the Flynn-Fletcher house as we zoom out of Candace's screaming mouth.)
  • Candace: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!! (to her cellphone) I can't take it anymore! My brothers have made some thing so big, it's so bustable! I have everything needed to get my brothers in control to prove it! I'm picking it up right now!
  • Linda: (on the phone) I'm pretty sure you have. And the way you're yelling at me right now, you're starting to hurt my ears. So tell me. What is it the boys have done this time?
  • Candace: Phineas and Ferb are recreating Maho Mushi!
  • (At the backyard, giant Transformers-style robots rise up. One robot is controlled by Buford and Baljeet, while the other is being controlled by Phineas and Ferb.)
  • Buford: (shouts in Japanese as he uses his lasers via his robot's hand.)
  • Phineas: Banzai Bubble! (Phineas, Ferb, and their giant robot shield themselves with a giant bubble, as the laser hits the bubble, causing it to fly to...)
  • The Slacks: Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!
  • (Perry the Platypus (in agent form) is fighting off Dr. Doofenshmirtz who is using his latest "inator" which causes people or things into toys, and he tries to zap Agent P. But, Agent P punches Doofenshmirtz in the face, causing the "inator" to zap at the flower pot, turning it into a plush version of a flower pot. The pharmacist looks at the platypus as if it was all his fault. He aims the "inator" at Agent P.)
  • Doofenshmirtz: Well, Perry the Platypus, you thought you were gonna stop my Toy-inator, huh? Well, think again.
  • (Perry begins to look furious, so he begins to charge at his nemesis and he is about to bite his leg, and then, a laser flies out a window, and hits Dr. Doofenshmirtz.)
  • Doofenshmirtz: OWWW! Ow! Ow! Ow! OWWWW! (Suddenly, he drops the Toy-inator and when it lands, Dr. Doofenshmirtz's foot lands on the trigger, and it hits mirrors in different rooms throughout the apartment, even hitting Vanessa's phone which takes a snapshot of the laser. Eventually, the laser flies out of the window. And then, the Toy-inator breaks as Agent P leaves via his hang glider.)
  • Doofenshmirtz: My poor beautiful Toy-inator! Why?!
  • (Back at the Flynn-Fletcher backyard, the giant robots are using laser swords via their fingers, when suddenly, the laser from the Toy-inator lands on the giant robots, causing them to become miniature versions. Unfortunately, the robots don't seem to move anymore.)
  • Phineas: Either we've gotten bigger, or the robots have gotten smaller. (Phineas notices a button on top of his robot's shoulder.) Hmm.
  • (Suddenly, Linda's car pulls into the driveway and as Candace rushes out, Linda hops out of the car with a bag full of groceries.)
  • Candace: Mom! You've got to come see what Phineas and Ferb have created this time!
  • Linda: Don't tell me. They're doing some epic revision of Maho Mushi.
  • Candace: Precisely! You've got to come with me right now! Come on! (She takes Linda to the backyard, where they see Phineas and Ferb playing with the toy-inated robots.)
  • Phineas: Hi, Mom.
  • Linda: Hi boys. (to Candace) Well, I guess you're right. They really are playing Maho Mushi.
  • Candace: I stand corrected again.
  • Linda: So, would you like to help me put away groceries?
  • Candace: Sure, Mom.
  • Linda: And maybe after that, we can all have some snacks.
  • (Suddenly, out of nowhere, Perry (in pet form) comes out from behind the tree and chatters.)
  • Phineas: Oh, there you are, Perry.
  • Isabella: Phineas, I thought that Maho Mushi battle was epic.
  • Buford: Yeah, it was fun.
  • Baljeet: Yeah, really fun.
  • Ferb: I always thought it was a little more high-scale when I last watched the show.
  • Candace: But... but... but... It's just not fair!
  • Phineas: Hi, Candace. What's wrong?
  • Candace: It's always the same. You seem to be having a great summer vacation doing all kinds of ridiculously fantastic things, and then they all disappear right before Mom comes home so we can bust you. It's you who is having a better summer than me.
  • Phineas: Yeah, we are already having a...
  • Candace: Of course, you were. But, not me. You guys have done so many wondrous things, and no matter how hard I try at being your older sister, I always fail at this busting stuff. I'm useless. (She walks inside bawling.)
  • Phineas: You know, Ferb, I can't believe we've been having so much fun throughout a great summer building so many wild and zany inventions, and Candace tries and fails at getting us into trouble. We gotta do something to make her feel better, but what? Hey, Ferb, remember the time we made a magic remote control which allowed us to visit the different TV channels?
  • (Flashback to clips from the "Channel Chasers: The Movie" where Phineas demonstrated the magical remote control.)
  • (back in the present...)
  • Phineas: We can make this experience even better by making her feel better if she was on television. Hey, where's Perry? He was here when those Maho Mushu robots shrunk.
  • (Perry the Platypus happens to be behind the tree. He hears his watch beeping, and Major Monogram appears on the watch.)
  • Major Monogram: Congratulations! Outstanding work, Agent P! Another successful mission against Dr. Doofenshmirtz. You get to take the rest of the day off.
  • Carl: Wait a minute. What about me? Can I get the rest of the day off too?
  • Major Monogram: I'm afraid not, Carl. You've got inferiority.
  • Carl: Oh yeah.
  • (Perry turns off his watch, takes his fedora off, and reverts back to pet mode as he stands on all fours, and he gets his well-deserved nap.)
  • (Meanwhile, outside the house, Candace is sitting on the stoop, as Vanessa Doofenshmirtz passes by on her scooter.)
  • Vanessa: (She sees Candace sitting sadly) Candace, is that you?
  • Candace: (sighs) Hi, Vanessa.
  • Vanessa: I notice you're upset so I figured I'd come to see you. Is this where you live?
  • Candace: Yes, yes it is. It's full of pain. I worry about everything.
  • Vanessa: Is anything wrong?
  • Candace: Every day is the same thing. I always try to get my brothers into trouble, one day after another, until Mom comes home and sees absolutely nothing, and, for some reason, she thinks I'm crazy. Come to think of it, the whole world seems to be laughing at my expense. Or is it because of some mysterious force.
  • (Song: Mysterious Force)
  • Vanessa: Mysterious force? What's that?
  • Candace: Let me explain, though it might seem strange to you. So please refain from thinkin' bad of me. It gives me pain when I see what my brothers do. But no one else ever can see.
  • (Scene changes to a black-and-green background from the original deleted song from AT2D. Candace sings behind it.)
  • Candace: I just want the truth known, so I call mom on the phone.
  • (Cut to footage of Candace at the grocery store as she sees Phineas and Ferb riding the giant Riding Tops from "Phineas and Ferb-Busters!" as she calls Mom, who comes in with a grocery cart full of groceries and turns around and sees the parking lot of cars, but not a single Riding Top to be found.)
  • Candace: But by the time she gets here, the whole thing disappears.
  • (Cut to Linda and Candace driving home. Buford and Baljeet pass by via a chariot. Candace sees it and forces Mom to see it. So Linda turns to the side the chariot passed, and once again, she doesn't see the chariot.)
  • Candace: Whatever they build every day, it gets taken away. No one sees it, of course, it's some mysterious force.
  • (Cut to Linda at the Flynn-Fletcher house, Linda walks past the backyard and notices a garbage bag on the ground. She tosses it inside Rover, the giant robotic dog's mouth. Rover's jaws snap shut, and it turns out Phineas is riding the robotic dog. Candace walks past, and notices in panic, making her run to her mom.)
  • Candace: To my mother, every story's preposterous. Never believes me no matter what I do.
  • (Linda turns around, like Candace proposed, to see, you guessed it, nothing! Candace turns around shocked at the nothingness.)
  • Candace: But though I'm right and she's wrong, I must confess, I'd probably think I'm crazy too.
  • (Cut back to the green-and-black background, Candace has a microphone and still singing, while Vanessa claps along.)
  • Candace: I just want the truth known, so I call mom on the phone. But by the time she gets here, the whole thing disappears.
  • (Cut to Candace inside the Flynn-Fletcher house, watching but Phineas and Ferb riding a vehicle used to guide the Tri-State Area Unification Day parade from "Hip Hip Parade." Phineas and Ferb wave at their sister, causing her to turn around and call her mom, who enters and sees, yup, nothing outside! She leaves Candace feeling frustrated.)
  • Candace: Whatever they build every day, it gets taken away by some mysterious force, no one sees it of course.
  • (Cut back to the green-and-black background where Candace and Vanessa are singing together.)
  • Both: Some mysterious force. (Repeat 3x, during which Vanessa stops singing for a moment to get Candace's attention.)
  • Vanessa: Candace? Candace!
  • (Cut back to the Flynn-Fletcher house doorstep.)
  • Candace: (stops singing) Yes, Vanessa?
  • Vanessa: I'm not certain that it's some mysterious force you keep blabbering about.
  • Candace: You're right, Vanessa. This is probably Phineas and Ferb's fault, which is exactly the reason why I'm gonna bust them for it.
  • Vanessa: That's not what... Okay. Let me get this straight. About these failed attempts to bust your brothers and telling Mom about what Phineas and Ferb making the most of every day by creating such amazing stuff that it disappears right before Mom gets home, for once in your life, have you ever thought about not getting your brothers into trouble? Say you show it all to your parents. What will happen? Will you be happy? Will all your troubles be gone?
  • Candace: Let me guess. Yes!
  • Vanessa: Maybe yes, maybe no. Isn't it true that your busting passion distracting you from what bothers you more? Would you feel better about yourself that way?
  • Candace: You mean just one microscopic living organism in this world?
  • Vanessa: That's right. Keep talking.
  • Candace: It's just that Phineas and Ferb have been traveling through television earlier this summer and nobody noticed me. When will I ever be recognized?
  • Vanessa: Mm-hmm.
  • Candace: What if I'm not? (Suddenly, she sees the TV being turned on from inside the living room.) I don't believe it.
  • Vanessa: I know, right? If you keep this up, you'd start to...
  • Candace: I don't believe it!
  • Vanessa: (she looks inside) Oh.
  • Candace: (she and Vanessa go inside the house, and to the living room.) See what I mean? This is one of the craziest things I'm saying. Okay, you guys. I'm done. (She starts pounding on the TV screen.) What are you doing back inside television? Didn't you already tried it?
  • Vanessa: And big discovery is over.
  • Candace: Phineas and Ferb, come out of there!
  • Vanessa: (walks up) Candace, if you don't know what you're doing, you can't hit things that already exist.
  • Candace: Stop talking, Vanessa! They're probably sneaking into some preschool show or an animated cartoon or something. (continues pounding) Is that what you're up to this time? Appearing in a mega-violent cartoon?
  • Vanessa: Uh, Candace?
  • (All of a sudden, a vortex comes out from the TV set and sucks up Candace and Vanessa.)
  • Both: (screaming)
  • (Both Candace and Vanessa got zapped into the TV universe from the previous film.)
  • Vanessa: Candace, where are we?
  • Candace: I have absolutely no idea.
  • (Cut to another television set where Danvers watches Candace and Vanessa trapped, and laughing evilly.)
  • Danvers: I have these girls right where I want them. Pretty soon, I will take over the life of her younger brothers.
  • Candace: Did you hear something, Vanessa?
  • Vanessa: I wouldn't know.
  • (One of the flying cubes reveals Danvers' face.)
  • Candace: Phineas?
  • Danvers: Bad move. (He hits a button on a remote that looks like the magical remote controls made in the previous film.)
  • (Cut back to the Flynn-Fletcher house's living room, where the vortex has disappeared, and Phineas and Ferb enter with a gift-wrapped box.)
  • Phineas: Candace, we have a surprise for you! (he and Ferb gasp.)
  • (They see Candace and Vanessa inside the television set.)
  • Candace: Phineas and Ferb! Get mo out of here!
  • Phineas: Candace, what are you doing on TV?! (to Ferb) What is she doing on TV?
  • (Ferb takes a photo on his phone.)
  • (Perry is still relaxing under the tree. His eyes open wide and he hears Candace shouting from the TV inside.)
  • Candace: Phineas and Ferb!
  • (Perry's watch beeps causing him to use the secret entrance to his lair under the tree.)
  • (Cut to Agent P's lair. Perry drops into his chair.)
  • Major Monogram: Agent P, we have intercepted an urgent emergency alert. We don't know what it is, but Carl is looking it up in all of the books. (He picks up the manual.) Well, it is a blocked passage system? Carl, what's this supposed to be?
  • (Carl appears on the screen holding up a box full of manuals.)
  • Carl: Wait a minute. (He goes through the different books in the box.) No, that's for baking and cooking. This one is for vacation planning.
  • (Agent P rolls his eyes.)
  • Carl: Ah. That's it. O.W.C.A.
  • Major Monogram: (reads the manual) Let me see. It says that one of your host family members, along with the daughter of Dr. Doofenshmirtz, are being taken inside television via a swirling vortex.
  • (Video footage of Candace and Vanessa being inside the TV universe appears on-screen.)
  • Major Monogram: Candace Flynn and Vanessa Doofenshmirtz to be precise. They were being sucked into television by someone who looks like another member of your host family. This is a hostile concern, Agent P. Just remember this. Don't reveal your secret identity to them. So, it can be risky to save them. So, uh, good luck with that.
  • (Perry goes into the elevator tube, presses a button, the door closes, and the elevator goes up.)
  • (Cut back to Phineas and Ferb still at the Flynn-Fletcher house living room, watching Candace and Vanessa on televison.)
  • Phineas: You are right, Ferb. She didn't do it on purpose. What is inside one of the network boxes?
  • (Ferb points at the evil Phineas lookalike inside one of the channel boxes in the TV Universe.)
  • Phineas: Hey, is that supposed to be me? But, why would I send Candace into television? Ferb, would you run tags on the web?
  • (Ferb types and clicks the cursor to see pictures of the Phineas lookalike.)
  • Ferb: Diver Danvers, the the un-aged human antagonist from the show "Diver Sun," who recently escaped prison after the show got cancelled.
  • Phineas: Whoa, so that's who abducted Candace into the TV. (He jumps on the couch next to Ferb.) Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today. We're going back into televison to rescue Candace and Vanessa and produce the long lost real series finale of "Diver Sun." But first, we've got to find a way to go back inside TV to be in the show and come up against... um... uh...
  • Ferb: Diver Danvers.
  • Phineas: Ah. Diver Danvers. Try saying that 5 times fast.
  • Ferb: Danvers, Danvers, Danvers, Danvers, Danvers.
  • Phineas: Hm. I guess it's not so hard. Danvers, Danvers, Danvers, Danvers, Danvers.
  • Ferb: Danvers, Danvers, Danvers, Danvers, Danvers.
  • Phineas and Ferb: Danvers, Danvers, Danvers, Danvers, Danvers...
  • (Back at the TV Universe, Candace and Vanessa are both soaring through looking over their surroundings while Vanessa plays with a ball.)
  • Candace: Okay, now. This is clearly not on of Phineas and Ferb's doings.
  • Vanessa: What do you mean?
  • Candace: Because of this.
  • (Vanessa takes a closer look at the channel cube with Danvers in it.)
  • Vanessa: Whoa.
  • (Danvers looks like Phineas, except you can tell from the longer wavier hair and anime eyes.)
  • Vanessa: I guess we're not the only ones being brought over to the TV Universe.
  • Candace: What does he want?
  • Vanessa: My wildest guess is... we're his food.
  • Candace: That's your wildest guess? You really need to get your dark side checked.
  • (Danvers presses another button on the remote, causing Candace and Vanessa to go inside the channel cube.)
  • (In the meantime, back in Danville, Phineas and Ferb enter Baljeet's house. Ferb rings the doorbell and Baljeet answers with a DVD box set.)
  • Baljeet: Hi, guys. You're timing is great. I'm glad you could make it. I was about to use this box set to start my marathon of Space Adventure.
  • (Song: Space Adventure)
  • Background Singer: Space Adventure is calling you. So put on your space face and make your way to the stars and beyond the blue quasars and nebulas too on a Space Adventure! It's an adventure in space!
  • Phineas: We'd love to, but we've got some more serious beans to spill. Candace got inside television for no good reason, and Vanessa was with her. So we need you to help us rescue them.
  • Baljeet: What? Why didn't you tell me that? I guess you are going to build yet another portal. What channel are they going to be on exactly? (Phineas gives him a TV Guide.) That's virtually impossible to get to. You're going to need to make something that requires a much more complicated field generator.
  • Phineas: Are we gonna do this?
  • Baljeet: Why, yes, but this could take days for us to build a portal, then it may take us at least a montage.
  • (The portal has been built. It looks like a giant HD television screen, complete with a remote control.)
  • Buford: It's finished.
  • Baljeet: Well, I was wrong. All it needed was a flip transition.

Scene 5: Skipper's Gut Instincts

  • (At the Central Park Zoo, the bell tolls and the gates open, letting in the zoo patrons, including children running excitedly. Skippers sees them through his periscope.)
  • Skipper: Excellente. Children at 9:00. (to the other three penguins asleep. Rico is sleeping while eating a fish. Kowalski is sleeping with a piece of paper on him, and Private is sleeping with a plush Self-Respectra. Alright, men. Up and at 'em. We've got a morning routine to do.
  • Kowalski: (He wakes up with the piece of paper he was sleeping with wrapped around him.) Skipper, does this make me look fat?
  • Skipper: How best to put this. You look ridiculous, Kowalski.
  • Kowalski: I thought I looked fabulous in this.
  • Skipper: (to Rico) Alrighty, Rico. Move with purpose. (quietly) I'll have you know for a fact that (through megaphone) PENGUINS NEVER SLEEP!!!
  • Rico: (wakes up and bonks his head, releasing the fish from his beak and landing on Skipper.) Wha? Wha? Wha?
  • Skipper: (picks up the fish and tosses it) Rico, have you been eating while sleeping again?
  • Rico: Uh-huh.
  • Kowalski: Must be his two favorite pastimes, next to blowing things up with weapons.
  • Skipper: We've got children, soldier. We gotta entertain them, man.
  • Rico: Rico new routine. Yeah. Wanna see?
  • Skipper: Sure, we can see them.
  • Rico: Really?
  • Skipper: Under your grave.
  • Rico: (groans in frustration)
  • Skipper: And Private, Time to look cute and cuddly. We've got a dump to blow.
  • Private: (wakes up) Oh, good morning, Skipper. I just had this wonderful dream. I was watching the Lunacorns marathon, and Kowalski made a magical remote control that allowed us to go inside the telly, and the lemurs and Marlene joined us, and we made some new friends from under the sea, and we met some strange but nice humans, and we visited different channels, but I wanted to go to the Lunacorns, and then Dr. Blowhole and an army of his own was following us, wanting to go to the Biographical Channel to change history, and the new friends and we fought them off on the channel before it. And you were there, Skipper, and you Kowalski, and especially you, Rico.
  • Rico: (guffaws, then stops) Wait, what?
  • Skipper: Actually, Private, that all actually happened.
  • Private: Oh, so I actually did jump inside the telly leading me to Lunacorn land without using a remote.
  • Skipper: Uh, okay.
  • Private: Anyhow, there's no need for you to get nervous on another summer day of showing off to some school kids. We've done this for years. You'll get over it. Believe me.
  • Skipper: Sure.
  • (The penguins come out of the HQ, and ready to show off the zoo patrons. Alice is giving out bags of penguin food to the human crown.)
  • Alice: Feed the penguins. Only two bucks.
  • (The penguins see the crowd wanting the penguins to be fed.)
  • Skipper: Wait for it.
  • (They still see the humans still determined to feed the penguins.)
  • Kowalski: I can't resist tireless hostile crowds.
  • Private: Me neither, Kowalski.
  • (The human crowd is still crazed in front of the penguins.)
  • Skipper: Okay, now! (They were about to do their routine, when suddenly, they hear bouncy music, making the penguins dive into the water.) Whoever is causing this racket, cut that out!
  • (At the Lemur Habitat, King Julien, Maurice, and Mort are on the King Julien Bounce House, bouncing to the bouncy music.)
  • King Julien: Jump, my peoples. Jump!
  • Mort: I like jumping.
  • (Skipper growls angrily at the lemurs.)
  • Kowalski: Skipper, don't pay attention to the lemurs. Just go along with our new routine.
  • Skipper: No, Kowalski. I like the same old music-less routine.
  • Private: Come on, Skipper. Get with it just this once for our adoring fans and... (They see that the humans have left from their habitat.)
  • Kowalski: I think they seem to like lemurs over penguins.
  • Skipper: (jumps in anger) Not again! How are we supposed to do this without the humans surrounding us with our food? I mean, what are they gonna feed us instead? Fish cakes?
  • (Cut to Alice walking with some children at the lemur habitat.)
  • Alice: Lemurs. Whenever they show their butt, that's not by any means of affection, it means they wanna sit on you you.
  • (One boy stops and sees King Julien showing his booty to him, and the boy starts screaming and running away.)
  • King Julien: Yeesh. I hate that lady who has absolutely no idea what she's doing. (To Maurice and Mort) Come on, you two. Let's go do something else for a change.
  • (They leave.)

Scene 6: At King Julien's Kingdom

  • (Cut to a wide shot of a Madagascan forest and we zoom in to see Xixi flying to the plane at the Baobab tree carrying Mort with her. She flies into a window, making Mort hit himself and fall down screaming. Cut inside the plane with King Julien, Maurice, and Ted watching Clover in the fixed television set.)
  • Xixi: King Julien. I've got bad news. Clover is gone!
  • (Maurice and Ted look at King Julien.)
  • King Julien: Chill-ax, you guys. As long as Clover is having a good time inside the new television set Timo has hooked up without us knowing about a fossa attack, then we wouldn't have any problems.
  • (They hear lemurs screaming outside the plane.)
  • King Julien: Alright. Calm down, everybody. It sounds like it might be a fossa attack, but we don't know for sure.
  • (They check outside the plane to see fossa chasing lemurs from down below.)
  • King Julien: Yeah, that's definitely the fossa, and if I can use my key tar to take down the fossa... Wait a minute. On second thought, Ted, we believe in you for giving you another shot. So, lemur up, Ted.
  • Ted: Oh, thank you for giving me another chance, King Julien.
  • King Julien: (chuckles)
  • Ted: (He stiffens his legs and cracks his knuckles.) Okay. I'm ready for anything. (A lemur hits himself hard on the plane, and landing into the fossa's mouths.) How about if we wait a little while, there's a good chance for them of tiring themselves out. They look rather sleepy.
  • (The fossa are still chasing lemurs.)
  • King Julien: Come on, Ted. The whole kingdom believes in you, man. If you don't fight back, we're all gonna die. Me, you, everyone, me again, and also me!
  • Xixi: Well, I guess that settles everything around here, so... (She flies out of the plane.)
  • Ted: How about if I distract them with the element of surprise.
  • (The fossa look at King Julien, Maurice, and Ted from up in the Baobab tree.)
  • Clover: (off-screen) On it! (She jumps in and begins punching and kicking the fossa.)
  • Ted: Oh, thank the Sky Gods. For a second, I... Oh, my bad. I had to fear-tinkle.
  • (Clover is still punching and kicking the fossa. But, when another fossa begins eating her, she begins to pounce on him and slaps him in the face. Suddenly, when another fossa starts pouncing on her, Koto swings in and chokes the fossa.)
  • Clover: Koto?
  • Koto: I'm sorry about the misunderstanding of the way we left things. So un-cool. (He begins punching some fossa.) Did some pretty harsh things around the kingdom. (He resumes punching some fossa.) I didn't mean to, but I'm gonna break my violence oath and make peace with the lemur kingdom.
  • Clover: Shouldn't we talk about this later and get back to the fight?
  • Koto: Certainly. (He blows on a conch shell, while the Mountain Lemurs answer the conch shell and begin attacking not just the fossa, but also the lemurs.)
  • Maurice: Oh, no. The mountain lemurs are attacking now, too? That's so messed up! Ted, the kingdom needs you twice as much.
  • Ted: Really? I mean, my heart is buzzing like a bee. Hear for yourself.
  • (The Mountain Lemurs surround Clover, when suddenly, the Mega-Gecko rises from the ground with King Julien riding it while playing his key tar.)
  • Clover: King Julien?
  • King Julien: Hi, Clover. Time to chase these jerks out of my kingdom! (He presses buttons on the Mega-Gecko to fight off the mountain lemurs. Then he presses a button to breathe a massive fire at where Koto is standing, setting off a giant, deadly hole, in which Koto tries to run away from, but falls off and burns into his demise. The fossa run from the fire, too. King Julien jumps off the Mega-Gecko and continues playing his key tar. The lemurs come out cheering for him. Suddenly, a giant Maurice's mouth appears.)
  • Giant Maurice: King Julien! King Julien, wake up!
  • (Cut to King Julien's bedroom, with King Julien still in bed, acting like he's playing his key tar.)
  • Maurice: King Julien? (He starts to shake King Julien.) Wake up, King Julien!
  • King Julien: (wakes up) Hmm?
  • Maurice: Did you suck your thumb?
  • King Julien: AAH! No, I wasn't. I had the dream again. But this time, Clover was inside television Timo set up in the plane and meeting some talking underwater creatures, aliens, and penguins while the Mountain Lemurs teamed up with the fossa and tried to force me out of my kingdom, and then I had a long adventure to get Clover and my kingdom back.
  • Maurice: I know it sounded so real, but believe me, everything happened from us and Clover going inside television to Koto's reign, and I mean literally, everything.
  • King Julien: Even the Mega-Gecko?
  • Maurice: Every... Well, other than the Mega-Gecko, everything. Or at least I thought it happened.
  • King Julien: I understand.
  • Maurice: I knew you'd see reason.
  • King Julien: But, not about the dream or either of my adventures. Now, gather the kingdom. I have an announcement.
  • (Outside the plane, lemurs gather around a very messy lemur kingdom with boulders of Koto's statue scattered all over. King Julien sits on top of the boulder that represented Koto's head.)
  • King Julien: My loyal subjects, fanboys, and... (He sees some teenage female lemurs screaming fanatically and holding banners with King Julien's head on it.) ...fangirls. I know it comes as quite a surprise, but trust me. I know it's been three weeks since we've partied for three weeks after the Battle of Booty Bridge, but we have so much kingly duties to catch up on, am I right peoples?
  • (The lemurs look confused.)
  • King Julien: First off, we begin by getting rid of the fragments used for Koto's statue and... (He gets interrupted by Ted.)
  • Ted: Excuse me. Overseer Oblivious here, your Majesty. I've gotten some new material this kingdom needs. (He grabs his ukulele.) I present to you, "Music to Clean By." (He strums his ukulele as he begins his song.) Ohhhh....
  • King Julien: This isn't exactly what I have in mind, Ted.
  • (Willie raises his hand)
  • King Julien: Yes, Willie.
  • Willie: I've got an idea for something new. We could use Koto's statue for defense.
  • King Julien: Why?
  • Willie: So we can all hide behind it from the fossa.
  • King Julien: That might work, but no. Not happening.
  • Willie: What the heck, man.
  • Horst: How about if I use my bolos for an amazing new usage?
  • King Julien: That wouldn't help, Horst. Remember last time you used your bolos for an idea?
  • (cut to a flashback where Horst was seen twirling with his bolos, knocking lemurs in the head, body, and legs. Cut back to King Julien.)
  • King Julien: A lot of my peoples ended up at the hospital for a few weeks.
  • Pancho: King Julien, perhaps I can set explosive devices all over the island. That way, it'll clear up everything Koto has done here.
  • King Julien: No, Pancho. That'll kill us, too.
  • Tammy: And don't forget Todd's wild animal act where Butterfish has to hold a fiery hula hope.
  • Todd: I always wanted to take part in the circus, mommy.
  • (The other lemurs start talking indistinctly about their ideas of making the kingdom better. King Julien gets aggravated.)
  • King Julien: COOL IT, MY PEEPS!! (The other lemurs stop talking.) Neither of you can do whatever you want. This is my fourth week after being re-throned. We should do what my agenda tells us to do. You got that?
  • Maurice: (sighs) At least you let Mort finally do whatever he wants.
  • (Song: Young Love)
  • (Cut to Mort setting the camera as it takes a picture of Mort and Zora behind his stump. He carries Zora into his hut.)
  • Mort: I'm a'gonna need a bigger door.
  • (He sets Zora down. She runs off screen and we hear some crashing noises while she's out of the shot. She comes back with a bowl of hummus, and Mort begins eating it whole. Zora tries to put her fingers inside the bowl, Mort is in the bowl, and they begin laughing.)
  • Mort: (off-screen): I get this crazy feel in the air. I don't know what it means but it its everywhere. Whenever I try to not think about. It could be said that I'd probably doubt it.
  • (Mort jumps in a box full of toenail clippings. Zora dips her paw inside it.)
  • Mort: (off-screen): I've gotten an illness that's very contagious, but there's no cure for it. That's so outrageous. I really don't want to admit it forsooth. But this has to be the honest-to-Frank truth.
  • (The next things Mort and Zora do are having coconut drinks with a picture of King Julien's feet on the table which Mort scribbles on it, and then Zora pushes Mort back and forth on the swing.)
  • Mort: (off-screen) I'm in young love. If it were a dream, it just came true. Zora, I would trade King Julien's feet for you. Because I'm thankful and grateful for the Sky Gods up above, because no matter how old I get, we'll always find young love.
  • (Mort and Zora share a hot air balloon ride, as a tropical bird flies by and pecks at the balloon, causing the hot air balloon to fall down to the ground.)
  • Mort: (off-screen) At any time of day, at any kind of weather, we will always and forever be together, even in the wildest situation whatever it'd be, I'd always have you around here with meeeeeeeeeeeeee!
  • (The balloon lands safely in some trees.)
  • (Next, Mort and Zora have a picnic at Junk Harbor. They are having spaghetti. They share a noodle together that their lips touch each other.)
  • Mort: (off-screen) I'm in young love. If it were a dream, it just came true. Zora, I would trade King Julien's feet for you. Because I'm thankful and grateful for the Sky Gods up above, because no matter how old I get, we'll always find young love.
  • (Cut to Mort and Zora in a bubbling hot tub at night.)
  • Mort: You know what, Zora? I'm madly in love with you so much, that I don't want to separate you for a very long time, no matter how old we get.
  • Zora: Oh, Mort, I'm thinking the same thing too.
  • Mort: I'm glad you agree with me. Let's keep it that way.
  • Both: (sigh dreamily)
  • (The song fades out as Mort and Zora walk back to Mort's stump the next day.)
  • Mort: Oh, it's great to be back home. Huh, Zora? Just me and you and nobody else.
  • (He opens the door to see that Timo is inside.)
  • Timo: Mort and Zora sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. (chuckles.)
  • Mort: Poindexter? What are you doing here?
  • Timo: Hey, you two lovebirds. Where have you been? Pound it, Romeo. (He gets his fist out as he and Mort fist bump.) And if it isn't the king of the stump and Mrs. Mort. How about a little...
  • Mort: I'm seriously asking here.
  • Timo: (chuckles) Sorry about that, Mort. MomBot and I were just taking care of your stump and looking on things.
  • Mort: Did you look over Xixi's mail and fed our flowers?
  • Timo: Yeah, that and feeding the tomato frog.
  • Mort: I don't have a frog.
  • Timo: You do now. (A tomato frog hops by and croaks.) This is Dave. Say hello, Dave.
  • Dave: (croaks)
  • Timo: He's a true throat bloater.
  • Mort: Oh, goodness. Look at the time. Well, you must be going. Bye bye.
  • Timo: Aw. But don't you want to talk about your honeymoon?
  • Zora: Shouldn't you go home to MomBot?
  • Timo: Oh, I don't know. I mean, she's been a little over her head recently. So I've decided to move in with you two.
  • Zora: There's always room for baby.
  • Mort: Yeah. Zora and I are married now. We just needed some time together to begin a brand new life. (Timo smiles.) Just me and Zora alone.
  • Timo: Don't you worry about anything. I will stick around to make sure everything's on the up and up like Clover suggested.
  • Mort: That's enough, Poindexter.
  • Timo: Okay. Terrific, then. (He walks out.) MomBot and I were about to set the television set at the lemur kingdom anyway. So, see you later. (He closes the door behind him.)
  • Mort: I wouldn't worry about him, Zora. Now where were we? (Mort was about to kiss Zora, but they were interrupted by Timo.)
  • Timo: Excuse me.
  • Mort: I thought I told you to...
  • Timo: I know. I get the idea. I'm out of here. But I forgot to unplug the television set. Besides, I want you to watch this message on it.
  • (They look at the TV screen with a male human being with a British accent. He was wearing a olive green shirt.)

Scene 7: The Message

  • (Back at SpongeBob's pineapple, the same man is on the Krusty Krab TV.)
  • Man: Hello. I am Ivan Eefildur, manager of televised international globe-trotting expeditions.
  • Patrick: Evil-doer? Is this some kind of a scam?
  • Ivan: It's not a scam. It's my last name. I have European blood.
  • Customers: Oh.
  • Ivan: I am actually a good person to be honest.
  • Sandy: Of course.
  • (At the Fireside Girl Lodge, Isabella, Holly, Ginger, Adyson, Gretchen, Katie, and Millie are watching the same message.)
  • Ivan: You must be channel chasers, because you've been chasing through channels not too long ago. Let's call you the Channel Chasers. That's a good name for your little channel chasing troup.
  • (In Phineas and Ferb's room, Phineas, Ferb, Buford, and Baljeet are watching the man give his message.)
  • Phineas: What is this guy doing here, and what has he done with Candace and Vanessa?
  • Ivan: The question isn't what I'm doing here. It is what's your next move? Or to put it this way, what is OUR next move?
  • Phineas: We're rescuing Candace and Vanessa.
  • Ivan: Wrong. I assume that you have heard of my company GudDur.
  • (At the Zoovenier Gift Shop, the penguins, Bada, Bing, Burt, Roy, Pinky, Ted the polar bear, an ostrich, Joey, Barry the frog, Leonard the koala, Becky and Stacy the badgers, Mason, Phil, some chameleons, a snake, and Marlene are watching the message from a television set high above the desk.)
  • Skipper: Uh, no.
  • Ivan: Yeah, we've been having financial issues recently with our company right now, but you, however, are on the prowl for a moment, but one imminent thing about moments is that moments end fast.
  • Private: This moment can't end now.
  • Ivan: That's why we have to get started right now and take advantage of it. You should go out on a grand tour. This is your chance to give trillions that you have whatever it takes.
  • (At King Julien's kingdom, with King Julien was Maurice, Mort, Clover, Timo, Xixi, Masikura, Ted, Dorothy, Pancho, Willie, Horst, Hector, Abner, Becca, Tammy, Butterfish, Todd, Mombot, and Zora.)
  • King Julien: Sounds like fun, but I don't think... Wait a minute. This is something I, too, really want to do, but I just hardly got my kingdom back. I can't let that get out of hand.
  • Ivan: In this time, I've been setting up deals of tour management. Ned and the Needlefish, Paisley Sideburn Brothers, Wiper Fluid, just to name a few.
  • (Even the Crocodile, Aye-Aye, Rat, and Siren kingdoms are watching the message.)
  • Ivan: Which brings me to you, to whom I want to manage this upcoming tour. You all seem to have a gift of singing inside of you that wants to come out of you. Think about it. You'll be rich beyond your imagination. Pretty soon, trillions worldwide will love you.
  • (At Jeremy's house, he, Stacy, Coltrane, Jenny, and little Suzy are watching the same message.)
  • Jeremy: We'd be famous if trillions love us.
  • Stacy: I don't know, Jeremy. This might be a bad idea.
  • Ivan: No, it's not a bad idea. It's a good idea. People will like you. You'd make many new friends that'll definitely bring goodness.
  • (Back at the Krusty Krab, SpongeBob is watching from the kitchen while flipping krabby patties.)
  • Ivan: Anyway, I know four of you have been crowned ambassadors to the TV universe lately.
  • (Phineas comes closer to the TV screen.)
  • Ivan: I'm not gonna lie, but we should share our interests in management.
  • (Private hops up on the Zoovenier gift shop desk.)
  • Ivan: Because you have a long time friendship with these guys.
  • (Clover gets closer to the TV set.)
  • Clover: That's true.
  • (Suddenly, the phone rings. Ivan takes a cellphone out of his pocket, opens it and answers.)
  • Ivan: Senator Sugarfoot?
  • (The rest of the lemur kingdom gasps excitedly.)
  • (Magic Steve is on the phone.)
  • Magic Steve: Just thought you should know that Hamabra is at the Chum Bucket, Danvers has sent two teenage girls to the TV Universe by now, Pompeii told me that he is handling everything else, and I am back on Earth to exact revenge. Other than that, all four of us are currently heading for channel 300.
  • Ivan: That's great. They're taking the bait.
  • (In the Krusty Krab...)
  • Sandy: He seems to be very nice.
  • Larry: Very kindhearted.
  • SpongeBob: (as he comes out of the kitchen.) I don't know about this, guys. I mean, nothing personal, but I think that we should all get settled in before we can go. Yeah, we have to refine it, plan something original, and then we can go.
  • (At Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, and Norm are watching.)
  • Norm: Heinz, do you think we'd make millions love us if we became rich and famous?
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Sure. We'd become even more popular than my brother, the mayor.
  • (Back at the Zoovenier gift shop...)
  • Private: Skipper, I want to perform with the Lunacorns!
  • Skipper: I don't know, young Private. This man may be a fraud. He could be playing with us.
  • Rico: Wha?
  • Skipper: What I meant to say is we should think about this, boys. We need to sharpen our skills, and come up with fresh ideas first.
  • (Even Karl and Chauncey are watching the televised message inside their zeppelin.)
  • Karl: A televised grand tour, eh? Chauncey, I think I have our work cut out for us. (He laughs evilly.)
  • Ivan: Excellent. So, I'll see you four on channel 300.
  • Magic Steve: Brilliant. See you there, my subject. (He hangs up, places a detonator on the payphone, and takes out a smoke pellet and tosses it down on the ground, making him disappear. When he's gone, the detonator causes the payphone to explode.)
  • (Back at the Krusty Krab, everyone is still watching the message.)
  • Ivan: So what do you say? Shall we begin making you rich and famous?
  • (Major Monogram, Carl, and the animal agents are watching the message as well.)
  • Ivan: No pressure, but I am very busy. (The cellphone rings again.) That's Lindana. I should probably take this.
  • (At the Krusty Krab, everyone wants SpongeBob to come with them on their tour. The Zoosters, and the Lemur kingdom are all begging for Skipper, and King Julien to go. But, back at Phineas and Ferb's house...)
  • Baljeet: I'm thinking you are right, Phineas. We should acuminate the show first, and that's a good start. Right, Buford?
  • (At the Krusty Krab...)
  • Patrick: Come on, SpongeBob! You know you want to!
  • Mr. Krabs: I suppose we can always hone this tour, and that's not a problem, is it?
  • (At the Zoovenier gift shop...)
  • Rico: Tour! Tour!
  • Stacy and Becky: Please say yes! Please say yes! Please say yes! Please say yes! Please say yes!
  • Private: Well, I guess as ambassador of the TV Universe, we can perfect what we've got, and we'll see how this will work out. What do you think, Skipper?
  • (At the lemur kingdom...)
  • Masikura: Yes! Let's go!
  • Mort: King Julien, maybe you have a point. Maybe we should give our kingdom the strength, and that's not a bad idea.
  • King Julien: (looks at Mort, and then at Ivan)
  • SpongeBob, Phineas, Skipper, and King Julien: Yes!
  • King Julien: Welcome to the family, Ivan.
  • SpongeBob: And as ambassador of the TV Universe, you're hired.
  • (The others cheer.)
  • Ivan: Thank you, your majesties. You will not be sorry.
  • Phineas: By the way, what are we supposed to do?
  • Ivan: Absolutely nothing. All you have to do is leave the rest to me. (He smiles sinisterly.)

Scene 8: So Long, Bikini Bottom

  • (Back at the Krusty Krab...)
  • SpongeBob: Did you hear that? We're going to be on television again!
  • Mr. Krabs: And I'll be able to make more money than I've ever made!
  • Squidward: And I get to perform my clarinet live on TV!
  • Patrick: What do you mean again?
  • SpongeBob: Do you even remember the time when I was on television, browsing through the different channels to stop Plankton from going into Dictator Week not too long ago.
  • (The others don't recall that adventure.)
  • Patrick: How do we even get inside?
  • Sandy: By a sheer coincidence, it just so happens that I have made a revolutionary breakthrough in television technology. (Her table is covered by a sheet. It even has a lump to prove it.)
  • SpongeBob: Sandy, what is this you've just cooked up?
  • Sandy: I am happy to announce that I created a device that will put inside television at a matter of seconds. I bring you... (She takes off the sheet to reveal...) ...a magical remote control!
  • All: Ooh.
  • Sandy: Here is how it works. It isn't like any ordinary remote control. If you press a button, something amazing happens.
  • SpongeBob: For instance?
  • Sandy: Well, if you press a number button, it will take you inside a channel. If you press a channel up or channel down button, you will be transported to the next channel. If you press the pause button, you will freeze an opponent. The rewind button will allow you to undo your actions. There is even an erase button which will let anything or anyone disappear. And if you press the power button, you will be sent inside television.
  • SpongeBob: I want to press the power button, so we can all go inside television to start our grand tour. Wait, where's Gary?
  • Gary: Meow.
  • SpongeBob: There you are, Gare-Bear. So, are you ready to go inside TV?
  • Gary: Meow.
  • SpongeBob: Is everybody ready to go inside television?
  • Patrick: I am!
  • Sandy: And how!
  • Mr. Krabs: Aye!
  • Pearl: Oh my gosh! Yes!
  • Larry: I've been working out at the gym extra hard for this.
  • Mrs. Puff: How should I put this? Yes.
  • SpongeBob: What about you, Squidward? Are you ready to start?
  • Squidward: (on the phone) No, you don't understand, Mr. Eefildur. If you honestly think we'd do whatever the contract to this partnership says, you've completely lost it. I'm sorry, I can't talk now. I have to go. I have to go!
  • SpongeBob: Squidward, are you ready to start?
  • Squidward: (He hangs up.) Oh. (chuckles) Yes, I am all ready to start, and I've even brought my clarinet to work today. (He takes out the clarinet, and starts playing a few sour notes.)
  • (Everybody covers their ears.)
  • Fred: My ears!
  • SpongeBob: Okay, Squidward, maybe we shouldn't let you.
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, yes he is. If he can't come, then I wouldn't be able to make money.
  • Squidward: Okay, I'm in.
  • SpongeBob: Great! Let's do it! (Sandy gives SpongeBob the remote.) Thank you, Sandy. (He aims the remote at the TV.) Well, everybody, it's time to get televised again. (He presses the power button, and they all go inside the television.)

Scene 9: Leaving Danville

  • (In the meantime, back in Danville...)
  • Isabella: So, this portal. It will take us inside the same television network where Candace is, right?
  • Phineas: Exactly. As soon as we enter through this portal, we'll be back inside television, and we may never know what could happen.
  • Baljeet: (He brings out a canvas.) Technically, I was typing up and printing some simulations of what will happen. (He flips through the papers on the canvas of what could happen.) According to the never-ending possibilities, we'd be surrounded by aliens, deadly weapons, crashing vehicles... (the last paper displays Baljeet offering Buford as a sacrifice.) Here's one where I had to offer Buford as a sacrifice to a giant robot army.
  • Buford: What?
  • Isabella: Are there any good-case scenarios?
  • Baljeet: Sure. (He flips the page to reveal a picture of cute bunnies.) I've got a hutch of adorable little bunnies...
  • Isabella: Aww. How cute.
  • Baljeet: ...that release acid from their mouths.
  • Isabella: Yuck.
  • Phineas: Listen, if Baljeet is right, we could be on a potentially perilous journey. We love your company of you helping us out with this portal, but we won't allow you to come. Candace is a member of our family. She was sad when we saw her last, and we felt pretty bad about that. So, Ferb and I will handle this one. You just can't go.
  • (The others look at each other and smile.)
  • Buford: So if you believe that you're going inside television without us, you'd be crazy. Maybe even crazier than how Candace is every day.
  • Isabella: Yeah! Let's take on those acid-breathing bunnies!
  • (Phineas and the gang put their hands in the middle and they join forces together to rescue Candace.)
  • Phineas and the kids: Let's rescue Candace and Vanessa!
  • (Phineas, Ferb, and the gang step up to the portal.)
  • Phineas: Thanks. I don't know what I'd do without you guys. So, are you ready? Here goes nothing.
  • (They hold hands together and walk into the portal together. Cut to another portal which uses wrapping theme as Phineas and the others step out of the portal. Norm walks up to them.)
  • Norm: Hello there, and welcome.
  • All (Except Norm): (screaming)
  • Baljeet: That's a big robot! Here! We offer our bully in sacrifice!
  • Buford: Baljeet?!
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Oh, don't worry. That was just Norm. He is a very friendly giant robot man. Are you Danvers' friends?
  • Buford: No, we're not. You work for Danvers.
  • Isabella: Buford, you do know we are still in Danville, right?
  • Buford: Okay, none of us work for him.
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: That's funny. I thought you were working with him.
  • Buford: We are working for him. Phineas Flynn.
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Well, there is a slight resemblance.
  • Phineas: So, we are.
  • Baljeet: That can't be reasonable. My theories could not have been gone too far.
  • Phineas: So, this isn't the TV Universe. Why is there another portal here?
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I was trying to work my portal by using one of my older inators, sending me directly to the TV Universe where I'm supposed to meet Dan...
  • Ferb: Diver Danvers, from "Diver Sun."
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Well, try saying that 20 times fast.
  • Phineas and Ferb: Danvers, Danvers, Danvers, Danvers, Danvers, Danvers, Danvers, Danvers, Danvers, Danvers...
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Well, this is, um, creepy.
  • Phineas: We're going inside television to rescue my sister, Candace.
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: My daughter, Vanessa, got sucked inside television as well. (He shows them pictures of Vanessa and Candace on his phone.) She even posted it to me on my phone. See for yourself.
  • Phineas: That is Vanessa. We remember her from the time we were traveling around the world.
  • Isabella: And Candace is with her!
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I just wish my loved one is safe.
  • Baljeet: But, there is a channel bandwidth around each network. Our portals have been blocked because they are connected to one another.
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Oh, so portal travel makes televisically illogical.
  • Baljeet: You mean tele-physically?
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: No, I mean tele-physically. Here, read this. (He gives Baljeet a TV pamphlet.)
  • Baljeet: You will not be able to go inside television by portal, thus making it tele-hysically illogical.
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Okay. So, we're even, then.
  • Baljeet: (sighs)
  • Phineas: So, to rescue Candace and Vanessa, we're going to need a magical remote. Anybody remember the magic remote from early this summer?
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I don't have a remote to make my portal work, but I already have an alternative.
  • (He shows the others the Magical-Remote-Control-inator.)
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Behold, the Magical-Remote-Control-inator! In order to get inside television, you need to press a button.
  • Isabella: You mean like a regular remote?
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Yeah, I think it is like a regular remote control, and has all the functions of one. But, it is actually an inator like most of my other contraptions.
  • Baljeet: What's the difference?
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: It's patent pending. Don't ask me.
  • (Back at the backyard, Irving, Albert, the Fireside Girls, Stacy, Jeremy, Jenny, Coltrane, Suzy, Major Monogram, Carl, Meap, the Klimpaloon, and even the Inexplicable Giant Floating Baby Head enter through the portal. Agent P approaches it and walks up to it right behind everybody as his theme music plays. He goes through it, and as soon as he enters, he, and other animal agents are shocked to see Phineas, Ferb, and their friends working with Dr. Doofenshmirtz.
  • Phineas: Chop-chop, everybody. We have to rescue our sister, and a pharmacist's daughter who is a friend.
  • (As Dr. Doofenshmirtz takes some of his stuff, he accidentally drops an inator, and Isabella picks it up.)
  • Isabella: What's this supposed to be?
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Oh, that's my Chicken-Replace-inator.
  • Background Singers and Agent C: Bawk bawk bawk.
  • Agent P: Shh.
  • Isabella: I don't think we need this, do we?
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Allow me to say that we could use something that might switch places with the nearest chicken, and that it's better to have one rather than not bring it.
  • Buford: (bringing in a canoe) I agree with him.
  • Isabella: Buford, why do you need to bring a canoe into television with you?
  • Buford: What can I say? There's more to television than you know. (Buford bumps into the portal and tries to turn the canoe the other way, and keeps bumping the portal.) Okay, this is the portal, right? I should be going inside television.
  • (Agent P's watch beeps and presses it.)
  • Major Monogram: Whoa. This does makes things a bit harder. Now, don't expose yourselves as agents to anybody. Don't reveal yourself as a pet to Dr. Doofenshmirtz either. So, in hindsight, you are probably the worst agent to be sent for this mission. So, see you later, I guess.
  • Buford: Do you have a doggy bag here? I was just asking for a friend.
  • (Dr. Doofenshmirtz presses a button on the Magical-Remote-Control-inator, and Agent P and the other agents make it through the television before they disappear. And for some peculiar reason, the portal catches fire, destroying Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.)
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: (through the TV screen) Wha? Oh no! Okay, to clarify, I didn't do it. But it is so cool to travel through television with some kids, teenagers, and aliens who came by portal without permission.

Scene 10: Escape from the Zoo

  • (We see drawings of stick figures being transported into television with the magic remote control, and a drawing of the magic remote control with special buttons, but as we look at it in real life, it is just like the remote made for the last movie.)
  • Kowalski: It looks better on the brochure.
  • (He throws the instructions away.)
  • Skipper: And it is. So, progress report?
  • Private: HQ full, Skipper. We're ready for a grand televised tour with my new friends.
  • (Burt, Bada, Bing, Mason, Phil, Marlene, Joey, Pinky, Shelly, Ted the Polar Bear, Barry, Leonard, Becky, Stacy, a chameleon, and a snake are in the penguin HQ.)
  • Skipper: Perfect. I can't wait to mingle with the giant, building-crushing monsters.
  • Skipper: So, how are we on our cover?
  • Kowalski: I'd say our new holographics of every animal in the zoo are top notch.
  • (Outside the HQ, holograms of the animals are shown at their pens. King Julien, Maurice, and Mort walk past the penguins' holograms.)
  • Mort: Hi! Hello! It's us! We're just passing through! Of course I'm doing all the waving! Can't you see my arm is about ot break?
  • Skipper: You know what you're doing, right, young Private?
  • Private: Of course. All I got to do is press the power button, and we'll be going inside television automatically.
  • Kowalski: You mean that very power button.
  • Private: Exactly.
  • Marlene: Um, guys, aren't you gonna tell us what the other buttons are for?
  • Private: In a moment, Marlene. Right now I've got a power button to press.
  • Burt: Yeah. I can't wait to be on television.
  • Bada: This could be our big break.
  • Bing: Yeah. Our biggest break.
  • Joey: Don't you mean biggest breakout, mate?
  • Mason: I believe it is the biggest zoo breakout.
  • Roy: Yeah!
  • Private: Okay, everybody. Calm down. We'll all be going into the telly right now.
  • Skipper: Is everybody ready?
  • All: Yeah!
  • Private: Let's go! (He presses a button on the remote control, allowing everybody inside the penguin HQ to go inside television.)
  • (Back outside, Mort is still waving.)
  • Mort: Bonjour. Guten tag. Privet. (He faints.)
  • King Julien: Mort, you lowly shrimp! Why aren't you waving at me and nobody else?
  • Mort: I'm just trying to hop on board with the penguins on their grand televised tour I heard about.
  • King Julien: Yeah, so have I. We will follow those penguins to the TV and take over TV land. We have to let the others know we're going. Come, Mort.
  • (The three lemurs leave the penguin habitat.)
  • Mort: Okay. Bye bye! Au revour! Auf wedershen!

Scene 11: Outta-Gascar

  • (Elsewhere in the jungle, Hans, the lemur zombie, is walking with his hat on and carrying his briefcase. Inside, two small lemur zombies (one wearing a beanie propeller hat, and the other wearing a big bowtie on her head) pop out the window excitedly shouting to see their dad, Hans, again. The two children run to their mother, Mrs. Hans, who is making dinner. She turns to see her children who want them to see their dad come home, in which he did. Hans throws away his briefcase and hat as the two children pounce on him with Mrs. Hans walking to the father and the two children. Mrs. Hans moans to her husband and children, in which the three look at each other and raise their paws. Mrs. Hans smiles, and then she carries the pot to the table. She places the pot on the table and ladles out some soup on her children's bowls. And to her husband, she ladles out not only his soup, but also her arm which was carrying the ladle and was moving a bit. They look at each other for a second, and then start to laugh loudly, until they hear someone at the door. Hans comes to the door and sees Mort carrying Hans' left hand.)
  • (Back at Mort's stump, all the invited Madagascarian animals are gathered with their belongings which they're gonna bring.)
  • Mort: Come on, King Julien. We don't want to come in the TV Universe when there's rush hour traffic.
  • Maurice: You're letting a little gecko be in charge of the kingdom while we're away.
  • King Julien: Of course. Doesn't the kingdom need someone to watch over my peoples while we're away? Besides, Momo, Stevie will take care of everything.
  • Maurice: Sure. What could possibly go wrong? A party? If there were a party, it wouldn't be more damaging like the one we already had for three weeks after Koto's defeat.
  • King Julien: Oy vey. Let's just get televised, again. (He hits the button on the magical remote control, which takes them inside the TV set.)
  • (Suddenly, Stevie, now being left alone, starts using a coconut phone and starts calling some lemurs.)

Scene 12: First Stop

  • (At the TV universe, everyone from their respective universes seem to have gathered together, scattered all over.)
  • Ferb: Phineas? I need to help you with my speech.
  • Marlene: We're here for the tour, and the candy.
  • Mort: Hey, where's King Julien? I can't seem to find him. King Julien?
  • Clover: I'm sure he's around here somewhere. He's gonna assist our manager.
  • (Elsewhere, Sage is seen talking to a rat.)
  • Sage: S'up, fellow creature. My name is Sage Moondancer.
  • Rat: Yeah.
  • Sage: Excuse me for interrupting, but I have a question for you.
  • Rat: What?
  • Sage: This myriad of squares of different worlds that fly in every direction without the rules of gravity. Where are we exactly?
  • Rat: Duh, wha?
  • Mason: I say, are you King Julien's friends on the island of Madagascar?
  • Masikura: Yes, we are.
  • (Phil does some sign language to the Malagasy animals.)
  • Mason: Phil says that we should travel down to your island and we'll learn more about you.
  • Masikura: I have no idea what you're talking about.
  • Mason: What? Phil?
  • Horst: This is so cool. Phineas and the Ferb-Tones. You rule!
  • Mr. Krabs: Who are you, anyway?
  • Crocodile Ambassador: I'm the Crocodile Ambassador.
  • Mr. Krabs: Mind if I have some cake?
  • Crocodile Ambassador: I'm highly allergic to it, so...
  • Squidward: So, you're the Croc Ambassador, huh? How about if we talk about addiction? (laughs)
  • Crocodile Ambassador: Addi-what?
  • Todd: Hello, I'm Todd. What's your name?
  • Sandy: Why, I'm Sandy Cheeks.
  • Todd: Who?
  • Sandy: Sandy Cheeks.
  • Todd: Sandy beach?
  • Sandy: Sandy Cheeks.
  • Todd: Oh, Sandy Cheeks.
  • Sandy: And I must say, you look mighty cute, especially with all the pageant winning and all.
  • Todd: Are you world-renowned for rodeos on TV?
  • Stacy: You're a toucan, right? What are you doing with a microphone?
  • Xixi: Getting the inside scoop of this outstanding world tour. And tell me. Who are you wearing?
  • Stacy: I'm wearing teal with a hair bow on top.
  • Xixi: You heard it here first, folks. Teal is all the rage and would become the next best trend in Madagascar history since KJ Original Diapers.
  • Timo: Are you a flamingo? You've got very fluffy feathers. (chuckles, snorts)
  • Pinky: Thank you.
  • Burt: Stand back, everyone. Make way for the punctual pachyderm!
  • Rico: Who are you?
  • Agent P: (chatters)
  • Rico: Uh-huh.
  • (Meanwhile, King Joey is seen talking to Kowalski.)
  • King Joey: Duh, I dunno you, but have you seen Mr. Maurice?
  • Kowalski: Oh, I know him. Doesn't he work for King Julien?
  • Maurice: Yeah, I'm right here ready for this gig! (in a dull monotone) To be over anyway.
  • Patrick: Hey, everybody! Patrick Star is here!
  • King Joey: Hey, dat guy sounds like me.
  • Patrick: Hey, that guy talks like me.
  • Both: I'm so confused!
  • Isabella: What'cha doin'? I'm Isabella Garcia Shapiro. Leader of Fireside Girl Troop 46231.
  • Brodney: And I am Brodney, but nobody even notices me, so I'll just sit right here and mope!
  • Hector: I just can't understand why the heck I'm here.
  • SpongeBob: Okay, everybody. May I have your attention please?
  • (Everybody stops talking, and pay attention to SpongeBob, Phineas, Skipper, and King Julien.)
  • SpongeBob: We would like to thank all of you for participating in this grand tour.
  • King Julien: Maurice, Mort, is the entire kingdom here?
  • Sage: Yes, I am here.
  • Todd: I'm here.
  • Tammy: Do you see Todd, THE star of this tour?
  • Butterfish: Yeah, I'm here, too, baby.
  • Maurice: You better believe it, your majesty.
  • Mort: Mort here, my King Julien!
  • Clover: We're all here.
  • Horst: DJ Glitterbunz d-d-d-drop a beat, son!
  • Pancho: Yeah, I'm here.
  • Maurice: The whole gang is together, King Julien.
  • Clover: Hmm. Where is Ted?
  • Masikura: Right, well, I'm not exactly sure where he is.
  • Pancho: I don't know. Perhaps he's too, I don't know, grumpy and he doesn't feel like coming with us.
  • Amy: You think he's grumpy?
  • Crocodile Ambassador: Amy, he's not grumpy. He's just hates everyone and everything.
  • Dorothy: I'm positive Ted will be with us any minute. I'll go look for him.
  • Timo: We should honor his feelings.
  • Hector: That idiot Ted will show up, and if he doesn't I'm gonna shout at him!
  • Willie: Fine by me.
  • Private: The penguins and the rest of the zoo are ready to rock and roll.
  • Zoo Animals: Yeah!
  • Kowalski: Yeah! I am so ready to rock television, and the world!
  • Marlene: I'm gonna rock the stages, for sure. I have brought my guitar with me!
  • Mason: Phil and I are ready, right?
  • (Phil nods in agreement.)
  • Rico: (sing-song) Yeah!
  • Bada: Yo, I have never rocked in my life, have you, Bada?
  • Becky: It feels like we're family!
  • Squidward: SpongeBob, we have about everyone from Bikini Bottom here too.
  • Gary: Meow.
  • Patrick: Not to steal your catchphrase, but, I'm ready! (he bangs his tummy to 1812 Overture.)
  • Sandy: Yee-haw!
  • Larry: Rad, dude!
  • Pearl: Wow, I have never worked with land creatures before.
  • Mr. Krabs: We're all ready, boy. By the way, has anybody seen Mr. Doodles?
  • Mrs. Puff: Yes, we have performed to those up on land before, but this... is actually something.
  • Baljeet: Uh, Phineas, don't forget about your friends.
  • Isabella: Yes, Phineas. We're all here and ready to start.
  • Phineas: How can I forget you guys? We're gonna be great out there.
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: This is fantastic. This is gonna be a sensation performing with all of you.
  • Agent P: (chatters)
  • Stacy: Here we go!
  • Fireside Girls: Yeah!
  • Ferb: Wait a minute. What about Candace?
  • Plankton: Phineas and Ferb are so cool, that I can't take it!
  • All: Plankton!
  • Patrick: Hi, Plankton.
  • Clover: Yes, one of the world's smallest living organisms, Plankton.
  • Karen: Oh, Plankton.
  • Mort: We're glad you're here.
  • Plankton: SpongeBoob, exactly what's with all of these people anyway?
  • SpongeBob: Well, Plankton, we are about to go make our marks as we perform on different TV shows, and here's the best part: we get to perform all together! So, does everybody have their things?
  • Mort: Oh, yes, yes! A thousand times yes!
  • King Julien: You bet your booty we do.
  • Isabella: Ready spaghetti!
  • Amy: Yeah. I have my stuff.
  • Hector: I don't have anything and I do not want to bring anything.
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Perry the Platypus and I have everything needed.
  • Sage: So do I.
  • Crocodile Ambassador: I got my things here.
  • Patrick: I want to wail!
  • Marlene: I think it is so cool I'll be performing alongside with all of you.
  • Ferb: Is there anything I can sing?
  • Chauncey: (squeaking)
  • Stacy: We're all ready to start. Let's do this.
  • Private: I sure hope it's great, because this could be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for us.
  • SpongeBob: Then, let's go!
  • (The train arrives with Ivan Eefildur as its doors start to open, as they all enter inside, one by one.)
  • King Julien: Okay, peoples, load them up!
  • Phineas: Let's go, Mr. Ivan.
  • Major Monogram: What's that, Agent P? You don't know that there's transportation in the TV Universe?
  • Carl: Travel schmavel. He was floating his first time he was here.
  • Major Monogram: Carl!
  • Carl: Sorry, sir. I forgot.
  • (Sandy comes in with all of her suitcases.)
  • SpongeBob: Sandy, what do you need all this stuff for?
  • Sandy: Why, when we get to our honeymoon.
  • SpongeBob: Wait, what?
  • (the train whistle blows, the doors close, and the train is about to depart. Bubble Bass is the conductor.)
  • Bubble Bass: All aboard! Let's go!
  • (The train whistles and chugs as Bubble Bass attempts to get the train moving. It starts up and moves in reverse.)
  • Bubble Bass: Did I hit the reverse button? Hmm. Another way to get this train going.
  • (The train goes all around the TV universe.)
  • Phineas: Man, there are so many channels to choose from. Where do we start?
  • Ivan: How about we start the tour with one of the greatest comedy networks: channel 300.
  • (SpongeBob hits a Channel Up button, transporting them inside the Channel 300 block, where they find themselves in "Genely WeirdCouple," a parody of "The Fairly OddParents." The show is set at a house which belongs to Tommy Trundle, and his two frogs who turn into genies. Tommy is now sent to his room by a babysitter named Jessy.)
  • Jessy: Into your room, dweeb! (she laughs maniacally)
  • (Tommy sits on his bed and then, he looks at his frog tank, as he taps on it. The two frogs hop out of the water and transform into genies. The male genie dons a man's uniform and the female genie wears a red shirt, and they both wear crowns.)
  • Genies: We are your Genely WeirdCouple.
  • Male Genie: Grant us any wish...
  • Female Genie: And we will make it happen.
  • Tommy: Hmm. I wish for a live concert to happen in my room.
  • Genies: You wish is our command! (They raise their magic wands and poof up a big stage, complete with lights, microphones, and lights, none other than SpongeBob, Phineas, the Penguins, King Julien, and their friends with their instruments.)
  • SpongeBob: You are just gonna love working here.
  • Phineas: Well, this is it. The Genely WeirdCouple. It is a show where a boy has magical genies who can grant him wishes.
  • Timo: (he looks at a poster from stage left and reads) "I hate Channel Chasers?"
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: It seems that somebody is not a fan of us.
  • Major Monogram: Well, this is our first gig.
  • Clover: (she and SpongeBob look from behind the curtain to see only Tommy and his genies in the audience.) Hmm. Genely WeirdCouple. What an unusual live show.
  • SpongeBob: Okay, so we start small and keep moving ourselves higher. I've been getting reservations for us into some of the classiest shows to ever hit the airwaves.
  • Patrick: (as he raises his hand) Is mayonnaise a TV channel?
  • Skipper: No, Patrick. Mayonnaise is not a TV channel.)
  • (Patrick raises his hand again.)
  • King Julien: Horse Radish is not a TV channel either.
  • Mr. Krabs: You know, we'd be better off at performing at cooking shows.
  • (Clover facepalms.)
  • Ivan: (enters) This seems to be a good place to perform, and I think we should thank our ambassadors of the TV universe, SpongeBob, and Phineas, for their choice.
  • (No one is amused at this. Clover is the only one who claps hands.)
  • SpongeBob: Thanks.
  • Ivan: And from the looks of an almost empty audience, perhaps we should prefer another great place for us to do it.
  • Phineas: What do you mean?
  • (Meanwhile, at the almost-empty audience, neither Tommy nor the genies doesn't see anybody on stage.)
  • Male Genie: So, when is this show going to start?
  • Tommy: I wish the band will perform onstage.
  • (The genies use their wands to poof up, but nothing. The stage had disappeared.)
  • Tommy: What happened?
  • (Back at the TV universe, the train switches from channel 300 to channel 301, where the show playing right now is "The Snarfs", which is a parody of "The Smurfs." The scenery is at a village in a meadow with green people wearing white hats, different-colored pants, and shoes. SpongeBob, Phineas, King Julien, the Penguins, and their group appear.)
  • Snarfs: Tra-la-la-la-la. Tra-la-la-la-la...
  • Ivan: This one to be exact.
  • Phineas: Ah, and if I'm not mistaken, isn't this the world of "The Snarfs?"
  • All: Ooh.
  • Masikura: Would you look at this scenery?
  • SpongeBob; But, we don't have enough money to engage this.
  • Ivan: We'll have enough when we get sold out.
  • Isabella: Phineas, I've always wanted to perform in front of Snarf Hamlet. Hello, gentlemen.
  • Buford: Hello, Isabelle.
  • (Isabella pinches Buford in the neck the same way Ferb pinches Buford's neck in "Raging Bully." Buford then faints.)
  • Phineas: Guys, SpongeBob and I are not 100% sure about this, I mean...
  • Ivan: Let's vote. Raise your hand if you think we can believe.
  • (Everybody, except SpongeBob, Phineas, Skipper, and King Julien, raise their hands.)
  • All: I!
  • SpongeBob: That's not what he meant. What...
  • Ivan: And raise your hand if you oppose.
  • (SpongeBob, Phineas, Skipper, and King Julien raise their hands.)
  • SpongeBob, Phineas, Skipper, and King Julien: I.
  • Ivan: That's great. It's been decided.
  • (The four who raised their hands last look at each other and grimace, while the others talk amongst themselves in excitement. Meanwhile, Ivan looks at the Snarf Hamlet Bank, and smiles evilly.)

Scene 13: The Youth and the Peaceless

  • (Candace and Vanessa are browsing through the TV Universe, cube by cube.)
  • Candace: Nope. Nada. Negative. Do you think we're the only ones here?
  • (They hear silhouettes coming up. The float the opposite direction, when they have passed a map to the TV Universe. They hid behind a cube, waiting for the silhouettes to leave. The girls check to see if the silhouettes are gone. They come out of hiding.)
  • Candace: Hey. Check this out. They have a map here. I wonder what this says.
  • (She presses a button on the remote, aiming directly at the map.)
  • Female Announcer: The map is in English mode. Would you like to read what the map says in English?
  • Candace: Yes. English channels, please.
  • (The map shows only the channels in the English language.)
  • Candace: Ooh. Cool. It kind of looks like a map we have back home. Map, how do we get back to our family?
  • Female Announcer: You're coming up on The Family Network.
  • Candace: (sighs) I mean OUR family at home.
  • Female Announcer: You're coming up on The Family Home Channel.
  • Candace: You know what? It definitely looks like a map we have back home. Now, let's see. "The Genely Weird Couple," "The Snarfs." Ooh, I heard "The Youth and the Peaceless" has a snowcone machine.
  • Vanessa: What are you doing?
  • Candace: Oh, yes. Right. "Diver Sun." "The RogueRuff Girls." Oh! Exit.
  • (She presses a button on the remote, taking them from the map to another part of the TV Universe. They become concerned.)
  • Candace: Well, you know something, Vanessa? I still want to pin it on Phineas and Ferb.
  • Vanessa: How exactly are you gonna do that?
  • Candace: Well, if I weren't singing a whole song about how their big ideas always disappear, I may not have seen that vortex coming from the TV, thus making it not Phineas and Ferb's doings.
  • Vanessa: Yeah, now I understand.
  • Candace: Gee, this seems to be taking a while. If only there was some way to make it more quick and efficient.
  • Female Announcer: Incoming black hole. Brace for impact. Just hold on to something.
  • (Sure enough, a strong force, kind of like a black hole, makes Candace and Vanessa get blown away through the TV universe until they went inside a cube.)
  • (Candace and Vanessa land in a sitcom called "The Youth and the Peaceless.")
  • Vanessa: Well, that was a lot faster and more efficient.
  • Candace: Ooh. Ooh. Look at this.
  • Vanessa: What is it?
  • (Candace approaches a snowcone machine.)
  • Candace: Say, isn't this a snow cone machine?
  • Vanessa: Candace, are you focusing?
  • (Candace looks at Vanessa as she is making a snow cone.)
  • Candace: Yeah, yeah. I know that, Vanessa. Sadly, I don't have the time.
  • Vanessa: Candace?
  • Candace: Yeah. I get it. I'm not supposed to do this.
  • Vanessa: Candace, pay attention!
  • Candace: I mean, we should not do this. Okay, you're right. I admit it. You were right all along. Yeah, you're right. (She looks at the snow cone as if she was about to dig in.)
  • Vanessa: CANDACE!
  • Candace: AAH!
  • Vanessa: Just listen to me!
  • Candace: (She then notices a TV set.) All right. I found a TV set.
  • (Suddenly, they hear footsteps.)
  • Candace: Phineas?
  • (Vanessa opens the door to see who's coming through the hallway.)
  • Man: Shannon? Where are you?
  • Vanessa: Candace, we have to leave now!
  • Candace: Hurry. Get inside!
  • Vanessa: How did we get inside th...
  • Candace: I'm sorry, Vanessa, but I wish I had time to tell you that we're in "The Youth and the Peaceless." It's a soap opera my mom records to watch later all the time. Speaking of which, I'll see you later! (She pushes Vanessa inside the TV set which sucks Vanessa inside.)
  • (Just then, the man enters the room.)
  • Man: Shannon, I've been looking for you. (He takes a glimpse at Candace.) Did you lose some weight or have you become younger?
  • (Suddenly, another vortex comes from the television sucking Candace into channel 301. Afterwards, the real Shannon comes from another door.)
  • Shannon: Nate, where have you been?
  • Nate: It's just some mysterious force.
  • Candace: (She pops out from the TV.) Welcome to my world! (She tastes the snowcone, and then pops down inside.) Some mysterious force.

Scene 14: What's Eating SpongeBob?

  • (Candace zaps into Snarf Hamlet auditorium, as SpongeBob, Phineas, Ferb, Skipper, Julien, and Masikura pass by, as they not notice her.)
  • SpongeBob: Okay, gather around everybody.
  • (The group gathers around SpongeBob, Phineas, Ferb, Skipper, King Julien, and Masikura.)
  • Phineas: All right, everybody. We're about to perform live on "The Snarfs."
  • Skipper: So, we should catch up on what we know.
  • King Julien: We start with cabaret...
  • Sandy: (raises her paw) SpongeBob, can we do a jellyfishing rodeo?
  • (Cut to a crate full of jellyfish buzzing, startling everyone.)
  • Kowalski: Oh, Phineas, we really do want you to help us with building a car with immense magnitude that'll attract bombs.
  • (Private and Rico show Phineas, Ferb, and Skipper blueprints to said car.)
  • Skipper: Kowalski, what makes you think we should invent such a device like that?
  • Kowalski: What makes you think we invent an explosive pie?
  • Squidward: Wait, didn't pirates already invent explosive pie?
  • (Rico throws an explosive piece of pie on Squidward's face causing it to explode behind the rest of the group.)
  • Clover: How about we make The Ladder.
  • King Julien: The Ladder? This won't work, Clover. Remember when the kingdom tried it? It was forty-five months ago, and Mort had to remain bandaged for twelve weeks.
  • Mort: Ah, memories.
  • Isabella: Phineas, how about if I could sing a medley of Tiny Cowboy songs? You know how Candace is about Tiny Cowboy. She's a big fan.
  • Phineas: No, Isabella. That's not in...
  • Jeremy: What about me starting a jam session?
  • Rico: Rock and roll!
  • SpongeBob: No rock and roll!
  • (Everybody keeps givng SpongeBob, Phineas, Skipper, and King Julien different opinions on what they should do for the show.)
  • SpongeBob: NO!!!! We can't do whatever it is that you guys want to do. It's only our first gig. So, we should prioritize our goals the best we can.
  • King Julien: We apologize for your inconveniences, but if we're unable to sell out the show, then this whole thing will be over. This tour. This kingdom.
  • Ivan: This last ticket? Good news. We are officially sold out!
  • (Almost everyone who heard the news chatter in delight, except for SpongeBob, Phineas, Skipper, and King Julien.)
  • SpongeBob: Fine. Whatever.
  • Phineas: That's great.
  • SpongeBob: Yeah, great.
  • Skipper: Good work, Ivan.
  • King Julien: We're proud of you.
  • Patrick: So, Ivan, how about this for a novelty act. We call it a Jellyfishing Rodeo.
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, it's super dangerous and violent, remember?
  • Patrick: SpongeBob, I was talking to Ivan.
  • Phineas: (sighs) Let's go, guys.
  • (SpongeBob, Phineas, Skipper, and King Julien walk inside a hut, as the others, except for Mr. Krabs, Baljeet, Private, and Mort look at their leaders walk away. Inside the hut...)
  • SpongeBob: We're sold out.
  • Phineas: More like scolded out.
  • Skipper: It's not like we're outcasts or anything.
  • King Julien: Yeah, like I haven't sold out a show since my Lemur School dance recital.
  • (Suddenly, Sandy comes in.)
  • Sandy: Sorry to bother you, but is this a good time for me to tell you about the quadruple televised marriage we promised?
  • SpongeBob: I'm busy at the moment.
  • Sandy: That's good. Because I have sixteen seat cover choices for the wedding reception, and we're deciding on what font we should use for the menu, which does not include fish.
  • SpongeBob: What are you going on about, Sandy?
  • Sandy: I'm only asking you to get involved into making your decision.
  • Phineas: I'm sorry to interrupt, but we can't be involved into making our decision to be married!
  • Skipper: He's not the only one, you know.
  • King Julien: Yeah, and there is no way a king weds Captain of the Ring Tail Guard!
  • Sandy: SpongeBob, that's your problem. You never let anybody do what they want.
  • SpongeBob: What about me? Letting you do what I want? How about that? Look, I haven't proposed.
  • Sandy: We can do what you want during our honeymoon.
  • SpongeBob: I can't propose during our honeymoon! It doesn't make any sense! That's crazy! You're crazy yourself!
  • Sandy: What? You can't talk crazy to a fiance!
  • SpongeBob: SANDY, I DO NOT WANT TO MARRY YOU RIGHT NOW, AND THIS DISCUSSION IS OVER!!!
  • (Sandy is shocked by the news, so she runs off.)
  • SpongeBob: Hey, Sandy! Come back. I'm sorry for what I said!
  • (At the stage, SpongeBob, Phineas, Skipper, and King Julien are sitting sadly. Ivan walks in and pats SpongeBob's back.)
  • Ivan: Don't take this the wrong way, but they still you're friends. They only choose me at this time.
  • Phineas: Thanks, Ivan. How encouraging.
  • Ivan: Do you know what helps in a predicament like this?
  • Skipper: What's that?
  • Ivan: You should take nice walks in a different channel. Perhaps one for each of you guys. (He gives the remote to SpongeBob.)
  • SpongeBob: You're right. I think a nice, peaceful stroll seems like a good idea.
  • King Julien: Can you tell the others that we're gone?
  • Ivan: I will. Don't worry.
  • SpongeBob: Thanks, Ivan. (He hits a button on the magical remote control, which takes himself, Phineas, Skipper, and King Julien from Smurf Hamlet to different channels of the TV Universe.)

Scene 15: The Good Guys Get Replaced!

  • (SpongeBob gets sent to channel 302, where playing now is "The Hazards of Hillary Hillstop", which is a parody of "The Perils of Penelope Pitstop." SpongeBob is walking down a dock by the lake, wearing a pink helmet and a woman's wig, and is carrying a TV Guide..)
  • SpongeBob: Okay. According to TV Guide, I'm on channel 302. (He walks past a seagull.) Hello there, kind sir.
  • (He walks toward a little town, where seagulls fly out, and people scatter inside for safety. SpongeBob looks around to see a mysterious hooded figure with a green hat and purple mask walking past him. He comes closer to the sponge.)
  • Hamabra: I got you, Hillary Hillstop.
  • SpongeBob: (screaming)
  • (Hamabra takes the pink clothes and wig off of SpongeBob and places silver cybernetics and a chicken arm on him. He chops down the pier and leaves it collapsing on SpongeBob. As it does, a woman looks out the window, and sees SpongeBob below the dock, who is making a run for it.)
  • Woman: It's him. He's here. It's the evil sponge, the Masked Talon!
  • SpongeBob: What are you talking about? I'm not Hillary Hillstop or the Masked Talon.
  • (Just then, police cars enter the scene. Out from the police cars come some police officers, who are apparently disguises by The Meanie Men. The Meanie Men, in police disguises, take SpongeBob.)
  • SpongeBob: Wait! This could be an outrage. Do any of you know who I am? I'm SpongeBob SquarePants!
  • Meanie Man 1: Quiet, Masked Talon.
  • Meanie Man 2: I'm afraid your little rampage is over.
  • SpongeBob: Masked Talon? Rampage? (He sees a poster of Hamabra as The Masked Talon posted everywhere. He screams again.) No, no, no, no, no! Stop! Wait a sec... I'm SpongeBob SquarePants! Listen to me, this is an outrage! A misunderstanding! (The Meanie Men take SpongeBob inside the police car, and it takes off.) Hey! Anybody! I have to get out of here! Help me! Save me! Return me!!!
  • (Hamabra rushes to the boardwalk, and replaces his bird-leg arm with a yellow arm. He even takes off the cybernetics and paints the side where he took them off yellow. He reveals his face.)
  • Hamabra: I'm ready. (He laughs sinisterly.)
  • (On the next channel, a blonde-haired figure walks into a house, walks down a hallway, and stops at a door reading various signs reading that one must not tresspass. The figure goes in anyways. The figure walks into the room, stops at a rug, which the figure falls down in, goes down a tube, leading the figure to a laboratory. Elsewhere, a little boy scientist is building a remote.)
  • Figure: Hi, Herbert! What does this button do?
  • Herbert: Oh, no, you don't, Loulou!
  • (The figure reveals Phineas in a blonde long hair, and pink clothes.)
  • Phineas: Wait. Why am I wearing girls' clothing? (He takes the blonde hair and pink clothes off, revealing his short, red hair, and orange-and-white striped shirt and blue shorts.) Should I press the button anyway.
  • Herbert: Sure, you can. First, put this helmet on. (He takes out a helmet which looks like Phineas' head, but with longer hair. He places it on Phineas' head. He dashes off.)
  • Phineas: Wait! I want to know what happens when you press the button!
  • (Just then, the real Loulou comes down the tube, and becomes shocked when she sees Phineas in long hair.)
  • Loulou: It's him! He's here! It's the evil bully of the Dark Side!
  • Phineas: What?
  • (Suddenly, some police officers come down the tube into the laboratory, surrounding Phineas.)
  • Officer #1: Hold it right there, Danvers! You're under arrest for breaking and entering a laboratory without a license.
  • Phineas: But I've got many licenses. Besides, I'm not Danvers! I'm Phineas Flynn from Danville! Who the heck is Danvers anywho?
  • (Herbert presses a button, and Phineas and the officers disappear.)
  • Phineas: But I have so much to do before the summer is over! I just don't have the time for this! Let me go! Where are we going?
  • (Back at the laboratory, Herbert takes off his mask, revealing a face which looks just like Phineas', and puts on a helmet similar to Phineas' helmet head system.)
  • Danvers: I know who I'm gonna doom today. (laughs sinisterly)
  • (Meanwhile, Skipper goes to channel 304, where playing right now is, you guessed it, "The Lunacorns." It is a peaceful and quiet meadow. Skipper lands there.)
  • Skipper: Hmm. Sounds peaceful and quiet. Looks like a perfect place for a nice quiet stroll. (He starts to waddle his way through the meadow, and with him, was the TV Guide. When he reaches a village, he spies Lunacorns taking pictures of who they think he his.)
  • Male Lunacorn: Look, it's Private! Our number 1 fan! Whoo!
  • Female Lunacorn: Private, would you sign an autograph for me?
  • Skipper: Private? I'm having some me time.
  • Lunacorn Reporter: We would like to have a word with one of our fans, Private, the penguin who had traveled throughout television in one day. Tell us, Private, how does it feel to be ambassador of the TV Universe?
  • Skipper: Well, actually, I'm not Private at all. I'm Skipper, his leader, and I'm actually taking another television tour right now, and I...
  • Lunacorn Reporter 2: Private, can you tell us about your next television stint?
  • Skipper: I told you I am not Private. I know you are his favorite show, but...
  • Princess Self-Respectra: Oh my gosh! Private, I can't believe it's you! We welcome you with open hooves to Majestia.
  • Skipper: Please, we've discussed this. I am not Private. I am taking a serene walk alone. Did I mention that I'm not Private?! I'm Skipper! Leader of my rookery! I am Skipper, and not Private, nor anybody else!
  • (Just then, a little dinosaur comes in from the bushes.)
  • Skipper: What in the name of Constantine XI's wall?!
  • Dinosaur: My name is Buck, and you must be Private.
  • Skipper: Well, I am. Not the penguin, but the other private. You know, privacy. I was needing it right now, but then here I am at Majestia, hounded by Private's heroes, you know, one of my penguin troops, and...
  • Buck: I am so pleased to meet a brother of a big fan, I just want to bow at your pressence. (When he was bowing, he raises his tail, and somehow, he feels a little queazy, he lets out a stink. Skipper was shocked. The Lunacorns run away.)
  • Princess Self Respectra: Buck, why did you do that?
  • Skipper: I have no idea, but something stinks!
  • Buck: I'm sorry, Princess, but I can't help myself. I only happens when I raise my tail.
  • (The other Lunacorns trample on Skipper as they run into their houses for safety.)
  • Skipper: (groans) Ow. That hurts. Even in this painful state, I really must continue my calm walk.
  • Buck: But, you can't leave now. We'd want you to stay with us and wait for your little friend.
  • Skipper: How soon can he be here?
  • Buck: He should be here right now! (He eats Skipper up completely.)
  • Princess Self Respectra: Buck, you spit him out right now.
  • Buck: Sorry.
  • (Inside Buck, it's not really the insides of a living being, it's actually fabric. Skipper lands and sees Pompeii.)
  • Pompeii: (squawks loudly)
  • Skipper: Oh my...
  • (Pompeii places a feather on top of Skipper's head, and pushes him out of the Buck suit via the mouth.)
  • Princess Self Respectra: Private, are you okay?
  • Skipper: Princess, for the last time, I am not Private, I'm...
  • Random Lunacorn: Pompeii, the evil penguin! Somebody call the deputy! We have a rogue penguin on the streets!
  • Skipper: Now what?
  • (Just then, two officer Lunacorns charge at Skipper.)
  • Lunacorn Officer: There he is!
  • Skipper: Whoa!
  • (The Lunacorn officers didn't care, they kept charging at Skipper.)
  • Skipper: But, I'm not some rogue penguin either! I'm Skipper!
  • Lunacorn Officer 2: Tell that to the judge, Pompeii!
  • Skipper: Huh? (He turns to notice a poster of Pompeii and screams.) No, this is hogwash! I'm Skipper, not Pompeii! I'm Skipper! Skipper! Skipper! (Inside the Buck costume, Pompeii presses a button on the remote, which sends Skipper out of the network and into a far-off channel.) Noooooo!!!
  • (Back at Majestia, Pompeii sees the police Lunacorns run past the Buck costume, as he smoothes down his trademark feather on his head, making him more like Skipper. He comes out of the Buck costume through the mouth.)
  • Princess Self Respectra: Private?
  • Pompeii: Stay away, you beast of burden! Away with you!
  • (Princess Self Respectra runs away from Pompeii.)
  • Pompeii: Cute and ugly. (He chuckles fiendishly.)
  • (King Julien lands on channel 305 where playing now is "Haunter the Cheerful Ghost." He lands in a dark part of a forest. With him is a map and a TV guide. He walks through these woods.)
  • King Julien: Where am I? (He looks at the TV Guide.) Let's see. (He looks through the guide. He reads a TV schedule dipicting channel 305's.) Channel 305. I'm in the world of...
  • Voice: Ghost!
  • (A group of Lunacorns run past King Julien.)
  • King Julien: Ghost? I'm not afraid of a ghost. I mean, why should I be?
  • (Just then, an crystal-clear small figure with no legs appears.)
  • Haunter: Hello. I'm Haunter, the cheerful ghost.
  • (King Julien's eyeballs pop out of his head in fright.)
  • King Julien: That's why! I'm out of here! (He runs off afraid, leaving his crown on the ground. Haunter picks it up.)
  • Haunter: Wait. Where are you going? I'm only a kindly ghost. All I wanted is to be your friend.
  • (King Julien stops running, and turns to the ghost.)
  • King Julien: You do?
  • Haunter: Nice hat.
  • King Julien: Actually, that is a crown. I'm the king. King Julien.
  • Haunter: Why aren't you ruling your kingdom, your majesty? Where are your subjects?
  • King Julien: Actually, I am just out on a walk. You see, when I decided that my kingdom needed a vacation, I planned on taking them on a grand tour. And then, when my subjects of which you speak turned against me wanting different ideas, the boss wanted me to go for a peaceful walk right here.
  • Haunter: Well, did you want them to do what you wanted?
  • King Julien: No. They really insisted on doing the things they wanted to do so badly.
  • Haunter: Well, why don't I help you get you back to your kingdom, and change your mind.
  • King Julien: Really? That'd be superbulous of you!
  • Haunter: All you have to do is give me your crown.
  • King Julien: A very generous offer. WHAT?! But I just got my crown back. I traveled far and wide to regain it from Koto. It was a long story, really. I mean, I thought you were Haunter the Cheerful Ghost. What, with the good manners and everything and...
  • (Haunter took King Julien's crown and the remote.)
  • King Julien: Hey! Give my crown back this instant! I'm the king! Long live me...
  • (Haunter presses a button on the remote, sending King Julien out of the channel, and into the deep regions of the TV Universe.
  • King Julien: Aaaaaaaaaah!
  • (Haunter changes his ghostly arms into familiar lemur arms. He grew familiar lemur feet, and body, and his head pops into a familiar lemur face. Haunter the Cheerful Ghost is actually Magic Steve the "lame"-spirited lemur. He places the crown on his face and wraps a lemur-fur coat around him.)
  • Magic Steve: Magic Steve!

Scene 16: The Gang Meets Their Match

  • (Meanwhile back at Snarf Hamlet Theatre, the Channel Chasers are chatting among themselves and waiting for SpongBob, Phineas, Skipper, and King Julien to return.)
  • Clover: Something's not right.
  • Pearl: Has anybody seen SpongeBob?
  • Isabella: Hey, where's Phineas?
  • Rico: (He is charging over Mort.) Skipper?!
  • Kowalski and Private: Whoa! (Kowalski is holding onto Rico's foot, while Private is holding on to Kowalski's foot.)
  • Masikura: Does anyone know where King Julien is? The show starts in 10 minutes.
  • (Ivan returns with Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve, who are all now in their good lookalikes' forms.)
  • Ivan: Hi, gang. Look who just returned from their serene stroll.
  • Hamabra: Hey, everyone in Bikini Bottom. I'm SpongeBob SquarePants.
  • Danvers: Greetings, movers and shakers. I'm Phineas Flynn.
  • Pompeii: Hi. I'm Skipper.
  • Magic Steve: Hello, my little sad lemurs of Madagascar. I am King Julien.
  • (The others are confused at who they think they are.)
  • Ivan: They have got a bit of a cold, which is why they sound a little hoarse at the moment.
  • Maurice: King Julien didn't catch Mad Horse Disease again, did he?
  • Ivan: Nope.
  • (Magic Steve coughs.)
  • Ivan: See what I mean? He just needs to settle down.
  • Hamabra: That is right. Ivan is truly one of a kind.
  • Danvers: From this day forward, we should listen to his every command.
  • All: (agreeing)
  • Masikura: Okay. Sure.
  • Patrick: That must've been a very helpful walk.
  • Hamabra: Sandra, I was wrong about you. I gratefully apologize to you for my foolishness.
  • Sandy: You're gonna need to do more than just apologize, partner. (She turns away.) Come on, girls. (Isabella, Marlene, and Clover turn away too.)
  • (Gary, Perry, Rico, and Chauncey approaches Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve.)
  • Gary: Meow?
  • (Subtitles: Are you sure he's SpongeBob?)
  • Perry: (growls furiously)
  • (Subtitles: No. No, he's not.)
  • Chauncey: (squeaks furiously)
  • (Subtitles: Who are you people?)
  • Rico: (points at Pompeii) You bad penguin! (Then points at Hamabra) He, bad sponge! (Then he points at Magic Steve) He, bad lemur! (And then he points at Danvers) He, bad... uh...
  • Gary: MEOW!
  • (Subtitles: Attack)
  • (With that, Gary attacks Hamabra by the palm of his hand. Perry bite Danvers on the leg. Rico barfs up a club and clobbers on Pompeii. Chauncey crawls up on Magic Steve, causing him to jump frantically.)
  • Magic Steve: What is happening to me?!
  • Danvers: Let me go, beaver-bird!
  • Pompeii: Ow! Ooh! Ow!
  • Squidward: Gary! (He grabs Gary by the shell, letting go of Hamabra, but he gets electrocuted.)
  • Buford: Perry! (He grabs Perry to let go of Danvers) Bad platypus!
  • Kowalski: Rico! (He slaps Rico, making him snap out of it.) Will you stop that?
  • Karl: CHAUNCEY! (Chauncey hops out of Magic Steve and into Karl's paw.)
  • Squidward: Bad snail. (He faints.)
  • Pancho: King Julien has promised us Ivan was right the whole time.
  • Ivan: Yes. Well, he, SpongeBob, Phineas, and Skipper agree on everything with me.
  • Hamabra: Yep. I'm SpongeBob SquarePants.
  • Danvers: I am definitely Phineas Flynn.
  • Pompeii: I'm Skipper.
  • Magic Steve: I am King Julien.
  • Ivan: No doubt about it. So, let's go backstage and hang out.
  • (The whole group follows Ivan, except Mr. Krabs, Baljeet, Private, and Mort.)
  • Hamabra: Come with us, my friends.
  • Pompeii: Let's get on with the program and have ourselves a family-friendly adventure while we will come together and learn a thing or two.
  • Magic Steve: Another perfectly good reason we talk about sharing, taking turns, or maybe the alphabet.
  • (Hamabra, Pompeii, Danvers, and Magic Steve leave Mr. Krabs, Baljeet, Private, and Mort.)
  • Mr. Krabs: That's right, SpongeBob.
  • Baljeet: Sure, we can.
  • Private: We'd love to.
  • Mort: I think so.

Scene 17: I'm the Boss

  • (Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve enter a hut where Ivan was waiting for them.)
  • Ivan: Very well done, boys. I'm so proud of you.
  • Hamabra: That sounds too easy for #1 most wanted creepily-faced living sponge.
  • Danvers: You wouldn't expect anything else from television's #1 unaged criminal, would you?
  • Pompeii: Besides, we know how to handle more elaborate tricks like that, especially me, the roguest penguin in the world.
  • Magic Steve: What do you think of that, lower rank?
  • Ivan: I get that a lot. I am a lower rank, because you are the higher ranks. I've heard that one before.
  • Hamabra: We have completed our first part of the plan now that we sent the Channel Chasers into TV.
  • Danvers: We're free to proceed with the most greatest ro...
  • Ivan: Robbery?
  • Danvers: In history.
  • Pompeii: And then, we will send away the Channel Chasers, blame the crime scene on them, and they will remain in the big house for the rest of their pathetic lives.
  • Magic Steve: But first, we break into the Snarf Hamlet Community Hall, steal a priceless portrait, and pretty soon, we will have everything that we need to steal the Rare and Irreplaceable Diamond of Channel 594, and to prove it, we will be remembered as the greatest robbers in the world.
  • Ivan: What about me?
  • Magic Steve: Sure. We share our first position on the list, and you'll be given second.
  • Ivan: Whatever.
  • (Hamabra starts playing on a piano.)
  • (Song: I'm the Boss )
  • Hamabra: I’m the boss, in case you forgot.
  • Danvers: I’m the boss, and you’re not.
  • Pompeii: I’m the boss, and you don’t.
  • Magic Steve: We have a share, and you won’t.
  • (The tempo increases)
  • Hamabra: I’m the boss, in case you forgot. I’m the chief, and you’re not. I’m the one, and the only. Haven’t you considered feeling lonely?
  • Danvers: I’m the boss, I’m in charge. I’m the foreperson, I’m at large. I’m the exec, the supervisor. I wish you had room to be advisor.
  • Hamabra: I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking “What about me? Isn’t there a bigger slice on the plate for me to be?”
  • Danvers: The answer is clear when you put it that way. The answer is no! So until then, just do as we say.
  • Ivan: Okay.
  • Pompeii: I’m the boss, and you are not. I’m the cool one, you’re not so hot. I’m the leader, I’m the commander. And I command myself to be the ultimate slander.
  • Magic Steve: I’m the boss, I’m the ruler. I’m the king, and you’re the drooler. I’m the emperor, I’m the monarch. You’ll find that my bite’s worse than my bark
  • Pompeii: I know what you’re thinking, you’re saying “What can I do? Is there anything to get in a bigger rank than you?”
  • Magic Steve: Surely, you’ll make that dream come true someday. But, no! So, until then, just do as we say.
  • Ivan: (spoken) No way. (He walks down the stairs.) He’s the boss, and I’m not. He’s the overseer, and so I thought. He’s the big cheese, and my credibility will plunge. Why am I boss of a little boy, and a talking sponge? He’s the boss, what about me?
  • Hamabra: Exactly!
  • Ivan: He’s the captain, and I’m lost at sea. He’s the sovereign, and I’m the one condemned. This place is a zoo because I’m working for them. I know what they’re thinking, they’re knowing how long it’ll take Until they are not going to eat the dictator cake. Maybe someday if I might take over, I may. But, no! So until then, i’ll just do as they say.
  • Magic Steve: Now, dance break!
  • Hamabra: Do as we say!
  • (Ivan starts tap-dancing for the four.)
  • Danvers: Now, it’s our turn!
  • (Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve tap-dance with four spotlights shining down on them. They dive down the stairs and land on each other's heads. They then fall into a trampoline, bouncing them back up to the railing. They go back inside.)
  • Hamabra: I’m the boss!
  • Ivan: He's the boss.
  • Hamabra: And you're not!
  • Ivan: And I’m not.
  • Pompeii: I’m the pilot!
  • Ivan: He's the pilot.
  • Pompeii: And you'll rot!
  • Ivan: And I’ll rot.
  • Hamabra: I’m the head!
  • Ivan: He's the head and I am just the foot.
  • Pompeii: You're a foot!
  • Danvers: And speaking of, move out of the way, I’m afraid your lights are put! I’m the boss!
  • Ivan: He's the boss.
  • Danvers: And you're not!
  • Ivan: And I’m not.
  • Magic Steve: I’m the lord!
  • Ivan: He's the lord.
  • Magic Steve: And you'll just squat!
  • Ivan: And I’ll just squat.
  • Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve: We’re the best! That’s what we are!
  • Magic Steve: So, I guess you’re going to be sent to Mars.
  • Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve: Because we’re the boss of you, and we’re the stars! (sustain note)
  • Hamabra: Yeah!
  • (song ends)
  • Masikura: (opens the door) Excuse me, five minutes to showtime... King Julien?
  • Magic Steve: (imitating King Julien) We'll be right there.
  • Masikura: Okay. (She leaves.) This is awkward.
  • Ivan: Have you studied your imitations?
  • Hamabra: No, we have not.
  • Danvers: Like we said, this job is too easy for us.
  • Pompeii: Besides, we've got this all covered. Most particularly, me.
  • Magic Steve: So, leave it all to us. (They leave the hut, with Magic Steve closing the door.)
  • Ivan: Hmph.

Scene 18: The Snarf Snitches

  • (At Snarf Theater, various Snarfs take their seats. At an orchestra pit, Grandpa Snarf is conducting. He taps his baton a few times, and starts the orchestra. Smarty Snarf comes onstage.)
  • Smarty: Ladies and gentle-Snarfs, the Snarf Players are proud to present, "Snarfelle and the Beast," featuring special guest stars, the Channel Chasers.
  • (The Snarf audience cheers.)
  • Smarty: Due to my skill of directing, this will prove to be the most Snarfiest performance of all time.
  • Snarf: Start the show, Smarty!
  • Smarty: As a matter of fact, I am destined to be the greatest director in Snarf history.
  • Snarfs: We want Channel Chasers! We want Channel Chasers! We want Channel Chasers!
  • Smarty: Plus, I am incredible at acting, that I don't believe it either. It's not tough being a brainiac...
  • (He gets yanked off the stage, and as the curtains go up and the music starts, Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve (all dressed as villagers) just stand there staring hopelessly at the audience.)
  • Ivan: Uh-oh.
  • (The doppelgangers are still standing onstage giving weird expressions to the audience who are just waiting for them to perform.)
  • Masikura: King Julien, start dancing.
  • (The four lookalikes finally collapse exasperatedly, causing the audience to gasp.)
  • Sandy: What the...
  • Masikura: Somebody, keep the show running.
  • (Two muscular fish take Hamabra, Pompeii, Danvers, and Magic Steve offstage, and the curtains close. Masikura comes back onstage.)
  • Masikura: Uh, sorry about the few minor mistakes, folks. While they are changing casting and planning a wardrobe change, I shall stall and give out a proper introduction. Ladies and gentle-Snarfs, the Snarf Players are proud to present, for a second time, "Snarfelle and the Beast," featuring special guest stars, the Channel Chasers.
  • (As he moves offstage, the curtains go up again, and the music plays. The set is a castle in the hills. Snarfelle walks onstage.)
  • Snarfelle: I want to make a friend. I wonder who lives inside this castle, so I could be friends with them. (She walks up to the castle, and knocks on the door.) Hello? (She opens the door to see if anybody's around.) Anybody? Hello? (She notices a sunflower in a vase on a table.) I love sunflowers. (She is gonna pick on the sunflower, until...)
  • Monsterous Voice: Rraargh!
  • Snarfelle: What was that?
  • (From the wings, we see Rraargh, Patrick's giant monster friend.)
  • Rrargh: Rrargh!
  • Snarfelle: Who are you?
  • (Song: Beast Song)
  • Rrargh: (in operatic voice) I don't take kindly to anybody who would bother to show up. It's because I don't have any friends at all, not even a cute little pup. And all who have showed up don't know the reason why, they just run right out of here. So maybe, I should tell you who I am, if you just listen clear.
  • (A spotlight shines on Rraargh.)
  • Rrargh: I'm... the... Beast. I'm the beast. I will never grant you peace. May I wish you up a fish? No, you wouldn't have a feast. I'm the beast.
  • Fred: He's the Beast!
  • Rraargh: North and South and West and East, Would you care to try new wear? No, not at the very least. I'm the Beast.
  • Klimpaloon: Nang-nang-nang.
  • Rraargh: My kindness has but decreased. If you tell me where a shell is, No, I throw them to some yeast.
  • (Rraargh throws three shells to a bag of yeast.)
  • Ringo: On the bright side, this isn't salt.
  • Dingbert: Besides, there are no French people here.
  • Gary: Meow.
  • Rraargh: I'm the Beast!
  • Snails: You're the Beast?!
  • Rraargh: Everything must rhyme with 'beast'. Right before you, there's the door. Yes, you heard me, Move your keister I'm the Beast.
  • MomBot: He's the Beast.
  • Rraargh: When I see a stranger walk right through, I just kick them out, which is what I do. So listen to my warning, cause I'm not saying it twice. Get off of my own property, or I'll turn you into rice! I'm the Beast.
  • MomBot: He's the Beast.
  • Snails: Please stay at least?
  • Fred: Ignore those fangs.
  • Klimpaloon: Nang-nang-nang.
  • All: He's the Beast, he's the Beast.
  • Rraargh: Rraargh!
  • (His loud roar caused Fred, the Klimpaloon, and the snails to run away screaming.)
  • MomBot: I'm a door. I can't move. (singing) I'm... a... door. I'm a door. Opening is what I'm for.
  • (Meanwhile, Ivan, Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve find the Snarf Hamlet Bank.)
  • Magic Steve: Check it out. The Snarf Hamlet Bank.
  • (Ivan climbs up the building with a ladder. Meanwhile back at Snarf Theater, Snarfelle (wearing a Klimpaloon-esque clothing) and Rraargh (wearing fancy clothing and a scarf) are dancing together.)
  • MomBot: Tis' a classic tale. A bathing suit and scarf. Whatever can compare to a lifelong pair...
  • Snarfelle: You are so light on my feet. I had no idea you are such a bang-up dancer.
  • Pancho: Did somebody say 'bang'?
  • (At the Snarf Hamlet Museum, Ivan is waiting to break open a window on top of the roof.)
  • Rraargh: Rraargh!
  • Sandy: Somebody said 'bang'!
  • Snarfelle: Actually, I said to him that he is a bang-up dancer!
  • Sandy and Pancho: Thank you! (They both begin to blow up everything, including the set causing the dancers to flee, except for Snarfelle and Rraargh. At Snarf Hamlet Museum, Ivan destroys the roof window.)
  • Ringo: Come on, Dingbert! Pick up the pace!
  • Dingbert: Hey, wait up!
  • Gary: Meow!
  • (Ivan keeps destroying the roof window at Snarf Hamlet Bank, while at Snarf Theater, Sandy and Pancho keep blowing things up. An explosion causes the table to fall on Fred, and the vase with the sunflower which now has fewer petals, starts to break.)
  • Fred: My leg!
  • Sandy: Here it comes!
  • Pancho: The big one!
  • Snarfelle: Just keep dancing!
  • (Sandy and Pancho cause a huge explosion. Meanwhile, back at the Snarf Hamlet Bank, Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve catch up to Ivan.)
  • Hamabra: We don't know what happened.
  • Danvers: But, we seemed to have loss of balance.
  • Magic Steve: We have stage fright, if you know what I'm saying, lower rank.
  • Ivan: Whatever.
  • Pompeii: Are you ready for this, Hamabra?
  • Hamabra: I'm steady. (They both go down the window and inside the bank. They slide down the lasers and crash into a door. They both get up, and Pompeii starts pecking on the buttons, causing the lasers to fade out, and the gates to open.)
  • Danvers: Nice work, you two. Now, let's steal the painting.
  • (They meet Ivan who is using a flashlight to find Captain Terrance Corpseton. The bandits browse through the gallery. Hamabra, Pompeii, and Danvers steal various jewelry from various exhibits and Ivan sees mostly classical paintings with famous people, until they spy a painting that is of an anthropomorphic rabbit wearing clothes.)
  • Ivan: There he is. Captain Terrance Corpseton. (He uses a knife to tear the portrait off of the frame from all four sides and all four corners. He then rolls the portrat into a scroll.) Now, we'll conceal the evidence.
  • (Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve return with sacks full of stolen jewelry.)
  • Danvers: So, what did we miss?
  • (He was about to carve off another portrait off of another frame, but, an alarm goes off.)
  • Hamabra: Let's go!
  • (The five burglars try to run out of the bank, but as soon as they head out the main entrance, some Snarf officers show up.)
  • Snarf Officer: Stop right there! Keep your hands where I can see them!
  • Pompeii: Take the goods with you, Magic Steve. The boys and I have got this handled.
  • (With that being said, Magic Steve takes the sacks of loot and throws down a smoke pellet and disappears through a puff of smoke.)
  • (Pompeii toboggans underneath the Snarf cops.)
  • Pompeii: Wide load coming through!
  • (The Snarf cops look down to see that Pompeii is tobogganing underneath them.)
  • Snarf Cop: (on walkie-talkie) Somebody, bring backup!
  • Walkie-Talkie: Backup is on the way.
  • Snarf Cop 2: (holding a mushroom sideways at Ivan, Hamabra, and Danvers) Freeze, kidnappers!
  • Danvers: Is that the best you've got?
  • (In another part of the bank, the Snarf cops are chasing Pompeii as they run pass a dinosaur exhibit.)
  • Pompeii: If you were me, you'd be careful, because I wouldn't want ancient history to collapse on you.
  • (Hamabra is at a water fountain, guzzling up as much water before he becomes big.)
  • Hamabra: Water you waiting for? (He starts spraying water at the Snarf officers through his pores.)
  • Danvers: (carrying a water gun) Freeze yourself. (He uses his water gun on the water sprayed from Hamabra, but the water from the water gun isn't water. Instead, it is ice. The ice freezes the water, causing the Snarf guards to freeze.)
  • Snarf Guard 3: I can't move!
  • Snarf Guard 4: We're gonna need more backup!
  • (Back with Pompeii, he is leading the guards on a wild penguin chase still, and just as they were about to corner him by a Tyrannosaurus fossil...)
  • Pompeii: It's been a real pleasure working with you, boys. (He starts attacking the Snarf guards.)
  • (A Snarf guard hits the Fire Emergency button, causing water to fall from the ceiling, making Hamabra absorb more water and power. The water hits the ice, causing it to melt. Just then, more Snarf guards come in.)
  • (Ivan places his calling card on the floor. As Snarf guards notice the calling card on the floor, it explodes, blackening them a bit. A few of the guards cough.)
  • (Once the ice covering the Snarf Guards melts, they escape and proceed to chase Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Ivan, who takes out the Magical Remote Control, presses a button, and he and his associates disappear, causing the guards to crash into each other.)

Scene 19: Dangerous TV Channel Alert

  • (The group zap back to the train at the TV Universe.)
  • Kowalski: Judging by my calculations, we are currently on course to make our pilgrimage to the next channel in exactly 6 hours at current speed.
  • Clover: Could this go any faster?
  • Isabella: Well, we can coax some more out of some of the cars if we take a shortcut through the compressor system and we have the power right at impulse.
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I don't work for you or ask for cupcakes.
  • (An alarm blares and the train goes overboard.)
  • Private: What is that noise?
  • Rico: I dunno.
  • Timo: It appears that we are now entering the unspecified dark channels. If we go into any one of these channels, we could get injured, assaulted, or killed.
  • Buford: Should we go around it?
  • Timo: I told you they are unspecified.
  • (Several of the Channel Chasers fasten their seatbelts.)
  • Mr. Krabs: Stand clear. We've got a big one coming! Port and starboard!
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Like this?
  • Marlene: To the right!
  • Mort: My right or your right?
  • Magic Steve: Mine, of course. I'm the king!
  • Plankton: Whatever you say, your majesty. We'll take your right.
  • (At the caboose, Agent P presses a button.)
  • Ivan: If anybody has something important about "up" and "down" to me, please let me know.
  • (Agent P exits the train, puts on a helmet, closes the door, grabs a rope attached to the end of the train, and jumps overboard. He begins navigating his way through the dark channels.)
  • (Song: He's a TV Star)
  • Background Singer: You can't be able to see him, he's not looking for fame. He's not into standing ovation, for it's always the same. He is definitely not taking part of a different tale. The only thing he's fighting for is a purpose he won't fail. He's a TV star, zooming through the throng, so I believe that probably he has his own song. You may not know where he is even around...
  • (Back inside the train, Dr. Doofenshmirtz and Plankton look at the explosion.)
  • Plankton: Whoa! I should've brought my 3-D glasses.
  • (Back with Perry outside the train...)
  • Background Singer: But he is out there right now doing his thing way down. Oooh-hooo. He's also a platypus. Oooh-hooo.
  • Isabella: It's a good thing we haven't been into any one of those adult shows.
  • Rico: (He shows everyone a Poop knot.) Hey, guys.
  • Off-Screen Voice: Poop.
  • Pompeii: Rico?
  • Rico: Sorry.
  • Clover: What do you know? We're out of the tunnel.
  • (Now back at the real TV Universe, Agent P hops back in the train.)
  • Background Singer: Oooh-hooo.
  • (song ends)
  • Agent P: Phew.
  • Sandy: Yee-haw! We made it!
  • Maurice: Well, it was faster and easier than I thought.
  • (From the end of the train where Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve lurk, Candace is sitting there.)
  • Candace: I wonder if Vanessa has made it back to the real world.

Scene 20: Vanessa Meets Detective Gizmo

  • (Vanessa is at the TV Universe.)
  • Vanessa: Oh boy. I don't think I'm back in the real world. (She enters channel 301, which leads her inside "The Snarfs" world. She screams at the sight of the ground as she is about to crash land roughly on it, and she did.) Oh. Ow. (She gets up dizzily.) Okay. I believe that Candace should be landing here right about now. (She then sees some police cars, and screams in horror as she starts running from them, until they stop at the Snarf Hamlet Bank.) Candace? (She looks inside one of the police cars, but it appears to be empty. Suddenly, she sees a shadow of what looks like a space hover jet, which lands nearby too.) How is a television set help if it takes me to a parallel world I've never been to.
  • (The space hover jet is the Gizmo Roadster, and the driver who's coming out of it is Detective Gizmo, from a parody of "Inspector Gadget." They both look at the crime scene, and at each other. Vanessa raises a police badge.)
  • Vanessa: Good morning. I am a member of the FBI.
  • Detective Gizmo: What are you doing here? This is my case. Besides, I have a bigger badge.
  • (He shows her a bigger police badge.)
  • Vanessa: I'll have you know I am an elite member of the force. So, this is my case. By the way, this is only for travel. This is my REAL badge.
  • (She shows him an even bigger police badge.)
  • Detective Gizmo: Is that so? Well, how do you explain this?
  • (He opens his jacket to reveal an even even bigger police badge.)
  • Vanessa: I guess you win.
  • Detective Gizmo: My name is Detective Gizmo.
  • Vanessa: Detective Gizmo? As in the well-known robotic law enforcer who works at a top secret police organization which tackles criminal activity around the world.
  • Detective Gizmo: The very same.
  • Vanessa: All right. I guess we're going to cooperate, but not because I don't have to like you.
  • Detective Gizmo: I don't like you first.
  • Vanessa: Before I even met you, I don't like you. So, what's the case?
  • Detective Gizmo: Our mission, if we agree to do it, is we have a couple of exquisite portraits stolen. One of which is of a hidden military officer. This could all be the work of The Purple Puma.
  • Vanessa: What's a puma?
  • Detective Gizmo: Why, only the second most wanted criminal mastermind, of course, and my main culprit. Sadly, his true identity remains unknown.
  • Vanessa: I mean, literally. What's a puma?
  • Detective Gizmo: It is also used to describe a wild cat from North and South America, also known as a cougar.
  • Vanessa: Or a mountain lion, right?
  • (They approach the calling card laying on the ground. Detective Gizmo picks it up.
  • Detectrive Gizmo: Hark! Just as I thought. This is the Purple Puma's calling card. The Purple Puma. He is competing against us.
  • (A delivery snarf enters carrying a very big object covered by sheet covers.)
  • Delivery Snarf: Special delivery for Vanessa Doofenshmirtz from Danville, USA.
  • Vanessa: Yes?
  • Delivery Snarf: Sign right here, please. (Vanessa signs below the line, and then pulls the covers to reveal a humongous badge!)
  • Vanessa: Now, where were we? (Detective Gizmo looks surprised.)

Scene 21: Where Are We Going Next?

  • (Back on the train, Ivan, Hamabra, Pompeii, Danvers, Magic Steve, and the Channel Chasers are reading a newspaper.)
  • Ivan: Take a look at this. The Channel Chasers Are A Big Hit on The Snarfs! Audiences Give It Five Stars!
  • All: (exclaiming in delight)
  • Hamabra: I'm SpongeBob SquarePants, and I love that good news.
  • (At the engine...)
  • Bubble Bass: Smooth sailing. But, there seems to be no tunnel around here. It doesn't matter. We're in the TV Universe. (He looks out the window, and a floating cube hits him, and another cube, and Frankie the pigeon?)
  • Frankie: You're right. This is a sweet ride. (laughs, until he gets thrown out the window by Bubble Bass.)
  • (Back with Ivan, he looks out the window, as he sees Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve waiting impatiently for the stolen treasure. Ivan rolls out the poster by the back and reveals... nothing.)
  • Hamabra: I don't see anything. Do you?
  • Danvers: No, no I don't.
  • Pompeii: There's nothing there.
  • Magic Steve: That proves it. You got it wrong, didn't you?
  • Ivan: Not quite. I've tried this trick before, and it works. It is written in lemon juice years ago. (He uses an iron on the poster, revealing sacred writing, and the map of the entire TV Universe.) And if you spread some heat on it, it will reveal the map of Captain Terrence Corpseton.
  • (Now, the four lookalikes are impressed.)
  • Ivan: Anyhow, the Rare and Irreplaceable Diamond of Captain Terrence Corpseton are currently located in probably the most secure and more recognized channel in television history, perhaps even more recognized than the Biographical Channel. The only way to get close to that particular secure channel is this map, the key, and the pendant.
  • Hamabra: Excellent job, my lower rank.
  • Danvers: Is there anything on this map about where they are located.
  • Ivan: It says "Blah blah blah blah blah, the world's greatest linolium."
  • Magic Steve: That's not helping.
  • Ivan: (realizing something else on the map) Hey, wait a minute. I notice a certain channel. Channel 400.

Scene 22: SpongeBob in Jail

  • (On Channel 596, SpongeBob lands near a jail standing between a bookstore and an orthodontist office. Two guards take SpongeBob inside the jail.)
  • Guard: Dr. Hamabra, get back in your cell.
  • Guard 2: You cannot escape the prison.
  • (The two guards grab SpongeBob and take him through the gate.)
  • SpongeBob: I'm not the sponge you want! This is bad.
  • (As the gates open, we see cyborg prisoners everywhere.)
  • Phonk: Hey, look who we have here!
  • (The guards drop SpongeBob in front of the cyborg prisoners and leave. The cyborg prisoners look at SpongeBob.)
  • Reynold: It's Hamabra. He has returned.
  • (All of the cyborg prisoners bow down to SpongeBob.)
  • SpongeBob: You got me all wrong. I'm not Dr. Hamabra. My name is SpongeBob SquarePants. I'm from Bikini Bottom.
  • Gunther: Hamabra always comes up with the best puns!
  • (The cyborg prisoners laugh.)
  • Phonk: That's our Hamabra. He is always there to give us a good laugh.
  • (Reynold, the tall blue cyborg with wavy hair, gives SpongeBob a crown.)
  • Reynold: Father, it is good to have you back. And in gratitude, we give you your crown back. (He gives SpongeBob the crown.) It needed to be readjusted anyways. Ricky, we'll work on it.
  • SpongeBob: Thank you.
  • (The cyborgs turn around and notice his friendly manners.)
  • Gunther: Hold on. We all know Hamabra ever since he was first sent to this prison.
  • Reynold: And there is no way...
  • Donald: He has ever...
  • Phonk: Said thank you.
  • SpongeBob: Look. I'm not Hamabra.
  • (Reynold takes a sniff at SpongeBob.)
  • Reynold: Shame on you!
  • Phonk: You're not Hamabra!
  • Gunther: Let's take him over to the demolition furnace.
  • (The cyborg prisoners all take SpongeBob and drag him over to the demolition furnace.)
  • Phonk: To the demolition furnace with you! Destroy the sponge!
  • Dr. Poisonous: Drop the sponge.
  • (Dr. Poisonous is an indigo humanoid with brown hair, and wears a lab coat over his blue shirt. He wears black pants and long, white shoes.)
  • Dr. Poisonous: Or else, I'll dispose of him.
  • (They cyborgs drop SpongeBob. Dr. Poisonous picks SpongeBob up off the ground.)
  • SpongeBob: What is this place?
  • Reynold: You're in jail.
  • SpongeBob: JAIL?!
  • Reynold: Yes. The Jail.
  • Donald: The prison.
  • Gunther: The slammer.
  • All cyborgs: What he said.
  • (Song: The Slammer)
  • Dr. Poisonous: Welcome to our most finest hotel. Our staff is specialized ne’er do wells. Who’ll promise to make your stay as comfortable at all costs. Our service is so outstanding. Since 1915 and still standing. Just ignore what the reviews say, or its your loss.
  • (The tempo pics up, as Dr. Poisonous walks SpongeBob inside the cell house.)
  • Dr. Poisonous: This is the Slammer. It is your home away from home. You’re in the Slammer. Once you’re in, you’ll never roam. If you follow me, I’ll show your room to you. Suite 392 with a perfect view. You can see the stars out your window so large And all of this will be yours for free of charge. This is the Slammer.
  • Cyborg Prisoners: The Slammer.
  • Dr. Poisonous: You will never feel lonely again. Because you’re in the Slammer.
  • Cyborg Prisoners: The Slammer.
  • Dr. Poisonous: You’re not in a comfy cozy den. Just remember this that your check out is in six-thousand and ten years. So enjoy your stay and make yourself at ease.
  • (Dr. Poisonous takes SpongeBob to the dining room.)
  • Dr. Poisonous: This is the diner.
  • Cyborg Prisoners: The diner.
  • Dr. Poisonous: There ain’t much to eat around here. What else could be finer?
  • Cyborg Prisoners: At the diner?
  • Dr. Poisonous: Although the food’s secret ingredient is feared. Have a seat at the dining table. We have a special dish available. We suggest you enjoy the special of the day. This mush and slop will make you go “no way!” This is the Slammer.
  • Cyborg Prisoners: The Slammer.
  • Dr. Poisonous: You will never feel lonely again. Because you’re in the Slammer.
  • Cyborg Prisoners: The Slammer.
  • Dr. Poisonous: Our harsh facilities are our domain. We will make this clear, that you’re welcome here, cause the clients are hard to please. So enjoy your stay and make yourself at ease.
  • (Back outside...)
  • Dr. Poisonous: Here in the Slammer. We make one rule perfectly understood. Here in the Slammer. Our accommodations are beyond good. You know the old saying that today is still shining that every dime has a silver lining. But inside this joint, you’ve got time to need to look for your lining, that is guaranteed.
  • (He opens a little door on the steel maximum security holding cell, and out comes the voice of a prisoner.)
  • Prisoner: You know the old saying that today is still shining that every dime has a silver lining. But inside this joint, you’ve got time to need to look for your lining, that is guaranteed.
  • (Back inside the cell hall...)
  • Dr. Poisonous: This is the Slammer.
  • Cyborg Prisoners: The Slammer.
  • Dr. Poisonous: You will never feel lonely again. Because you’re in the Slammer.
  • Cyborg Prisoners: The Slammer.
  • Dr. Poisonous: You’ll leave soon, but you won’t know when. For your safety you heed, money back guaranteed, all I’ll keep are your keys. So enjoy your stay and make yourself at ease.
  • (Finally, the guards throw SpongeBob in Hamabra's cell. The song ends as SpongeBob gets sent inside the cell and the gate closes.)
  • SpongeBob: But, I keep telling you that I'm not the right sponge.
  • Guard 1: Give us one good reason why you have a boil on your nose if you aren't Hamabra.
  • SpongeBob: But the boil is a fake. Some mysterious figure pasted it on my nose.
  • Guard 2: As long as jurisdiction goes, you are Hamabra, pasted or not. Enjoy your time. It will take longer than you'd think.
  • SpongeBob: I'm not so sure about that. I can assure you that my friends are gonna come and rescue me!
  • Guard 1: Turn off the lights!
  • (The lights go out and Guard 2 bumps into Guard 1.)
  • Guard 1: On second thought, lights back on! I can't see a thing. (The lights go back on.) Sheesh. They're just gonna have to wait until we've completely left. Figuratively!
  • (The lights go back out. SpongeBob sighs sadly.)

Scene 23: Phineas Gets Busted

  • (The TV show Phineas is going to is "Diver Sun." He is being sent by two Anime humanoid monster guards into a castle at night.)
  • Phineas: Where am I? Am I in another classic super-violent Japanese cartoon show? I should have known. Yes, I am.
  • (The group stops at two giant doors. Suddenly, an orchestra starts playing, and more Anime-style humanoid monster guards (mostly female) come out.)
  • (Song: The Dark Side (Part 1))
  • Tubians: This is Night Kingdom, right here at the Dark Side, we give you a warm welcome although your greeting is what you'll hide. We are here to greet you, no matter how anxious you get. We're doing this to make you meet our queen in this part of the set.
  • (Phineas looks at the camera shocked.)
  • Tubians: You will be swept off your feet so drop what you're doing. Soon, you'll feel like you're eccstatic about it, unless you're rueing. So get ready for the big moment once we're done. We will do it in five, four, three, two...
  • Tubian 1: Wait!
  • Tubians: Once this gate opens up after we sing this next verse. After all, we have some more singing which we didn't rehearse. We mean to be perfectly serious, we have a statement of law. No, really, somebody here made the strictest trust that you ever saw. Anybody who escapes the palace, will be executed at once, and will be treated as malace. It maybe legal, but your entrance we'll allow, before we want you to meet our queen right...
  • Tubian 2: After we announce a word from our sponsor.
  • Tubian 3: The Rare and Irreplaceable Diamond. RAID for short.
  • Tubian 4: The crown jewel of the Night Kingdom. It can only be seen...
  • Tubians: If we open this gate leading to the Night Kingdom. We bet you that you were expecting us to do after we sing dumb. We know it might take a few more years, or possibly forever, because we may have forgotten...
  • Tubian 5: Let's just open the gate.
  • (A Tubian pulls the lever to open the giant gate of the Night Kingdom.)
  • Queen Securia: You may enter.
  • (The guards take Phineas inside as they lead him to Queen Securia, who is commander of the kingdom.)
  • Queen Securia: Hello? I'm over here. I am sitting on my throne. (The guards and Phineas stop at the throne.) Let me take a closer look at you. (She gets off of the throne.) You seem to look familiar.
  • Phineas: Who are you?
  • Queen Securia: Allow me to introduce myself. I am Queen Securia, ruler of the Night Kingdom.
  • Phineas: I don't think I've seen or been in that movie. Is it animated?
  • Queen Securia: It's a common name in our culture. Sure, it's not the Day Kingdom or the Nebulactica, but it counts.
  • Phineas: Well, for your information, I'm not Danvers. I'm Phineas.
  • (The guards gasp.)
  • Phineas: Did I say something wrong?
  • (The guards start laughing.)
  • Guard 1: That's him, your majesty.
  • Guard 2: He's Danvers, all right.
  • Queen Securia: Oh. I'm sorry, but in this culture, "Phineas" is the sound made when an light-based energy beam blows on someone.
  • Phineas: How often does that happen?
  • Queen Securia: Besides, the point is you are Diver Danvers, and have been sent here in The Dark Side.
  • (Song: The Dark Side (Part 2))
  • Tubians: Wait, we just remembered how the rest of the song goes. The exact same lyrics we forgotten, but only she knows. Get ready now to have your ears blown, and your eyes to open wide, because you're in the entrancing. This place will have you dancing. Or perhaps you'll feel like prancing. We could've used something more enhancing. But you'll be standing here glancing here... in... the Dark Side.
  • (The song finally ends.)
  • Phineas: So, what you're telling me is that I'm in the dark side?
  • Queen Securia: (chuckles) Is this the dark side? For centuries, we've been scouring all over the Night Kingdom for the Bronze Diamond, a gem that is very rare and irreplaceable, and according to our apparatuses, the aforementioned gem ensues easily from you. (A screen appears, and scans Phineas confirming her statement.) Diver Danvers, thanks to you, you are defending us from The Bright Side.
  • Phineas: Uh, how amusing. Anyhow, just so we're clear, this "defending from the Bright Side" thing probably won't have anything to do with me being a prisoner or anything, does it?
  • Queen Securia: Very skeptical of you.
  • Phineas: My apologies, but it's just that... (sighs) My sister, Candace, is upset about how useless she was. Oh, I brought along some friends to help her, and they had other plans of their own.
  • Queen Securia: Silence! I've had some friends as well. They were always causing problems and raising their zirconia diamonds at Chi Nebula on Hiyaku.
  • Phineas: My friends are on a televised tour.
  • Queen Securia: On tour, eh? Now, you're just saying stuff. What matters is that I was exactly where you were, my friend. My friends are very much getting in the way from what I want. But, I was supposed to make the most of every day!
  • Phineas: Yeah! Wait, what?
  • Queen Securia: Which is exactly why I rule this kingdom and have many ideas to do just that.
  • Phineas: Well, I guess that makes me feel wanted.
  • Queen Securia: You are wanted, Danvers. That's why we're placing you behind bars!
  • Phineas: What?!
  • Queen Securia: Guards, lock him up in the dungeon!
  • (The two humanoid monsters who took Phineas in proceed with taking Phineas into his cell down below.)
  • Phineas: Wait! I'm not Danvers! I'm Phineas Flynn! You're not hearing me correctly! (The cage closes on him.) I have many more things planned when I get back from the real world before this summer ends! (The humanoid monsters leave.) For the last time, I'm Phineas Flynn! (The lights turn off, and the door closes. Phineas sighs in sadness.) Bummer.

Scene 24: Jailbird Skipper

  • (Skipper gets zapped inside the Keppyville Police District. Two Keppys take Skipper inside.)
  • Skipper: But, I'm not King Pompeii!
  • (Once they enter, the two Keppys place Skipper inside his cell.)
  • Keppy Cop: Come on, you.
  • Skipper: Boys, save me, please! Kowalski! Private! Rico! Princess Self-Respectra! (to the cop) You will never get away with this.
  • (Skipper gets placed inside his cell. A few keppy inmates and a lobster prisoner named Shelfishness, stare at the penguin.)
  • Shelfishness: Is that you, Pompeii?
  • Skipper: Uh, no.
  • Shelfishness: Hey, everybody. Look who's back!
  • Keppy Cop: Enjoy your cell. You're going to be here for a long time. (The cops leave.)
  • Shelfisness: Anyway, you said you wouldn't be wanted anymore, since you broke out without your partner-in-crime.
  • Skipper: How dare you? My men will soon be here, and you will have to pay for your crimes.
  • (The keppy inmates laugh.)
  • Shelfishness: (laughing) That's nonsense. We're your men. We've always been your men. In fact, we're all prisoners here in this joint, like all the other inmates who rot here.
  • Skipper: It's madness. Utter madness.
  • Officer Arrestem: Back to your cells, ladies!
  • (The other prisoners enter back to their respective cells, as Officer Arrestem arrives.)
  • Skipper: Don't leave me here! Officer, let me out of here please!
  • Officer Arrestem: (leads Skipper into his cell) You, too, King Pompeii. Don't you ever escape. These stone-cold walls are made of concrete, and these bars are steel, and that's why if you think about leaving this cell, don't.
  • (Officer Arrestem leaves, and the lights turn off.)
  • Skipper: Well, this stinks. It's cold around here. But, I'm a penguin, right? I don't mind the cold, unless it's that Antarctic cold. But still, I just want my real men back. (He bursts into uncontrollable crying.)

Scene 25: King Jailien

  • (The TV show King Julien goes into is "The RogueRuff Girls." He lands in Metroplesburg Jail inside a large cell, with seemingly rough prisoners, including a large green furry monster with antennae, a pink devil with a goatee, a group of five purple teenage creatures, three bacteria figures, a small kindergarten girl with a crown on her head and boots, etc.)
  • King Julien: (wakes up) Where am I? (He looks around the prison cell, and screams at the sight of not just the scenery, but the many prisoners.) I'm in a cage filled with horribly ugly, disgusting villains!
  • (The villains look at King Julien.)
  • Head Guy: Hey, fellas. Look who's returned.
  • Rex: It's our favorite prison king, Hojo Momo.
  • ZIR: And he really looks marvelous too.
  • King Julien: Hojo Momo? News flash: I'm not Hojo Momo. I am King Julien XIII.
  • Huge Harry: Yeah, that's our Hojo Momo!
  • Furry Thumbkins: Yeah, buddy. Long live the king.
  • Queenie: Yeah, that Hojo Momo is true royalty. Wait a minute. True royalty? That's my job!
  • King Julien: Eh... (He points at himself to Queenie.) Yeah, I am the king.
  • Rex: Sure, you are.
  • King Julien: Of Madagascar of course.
  • ZIR: Actually, you are the king of Metroplesburg Jail.
  • King Julien: Metroplesburg? You mean like in "The RogueRuff Girls."
  • Head Guy: Yeah, he is our arch-enemies.
  • ZIR: You see, it's like this. We villains terrorize Metroplesburg.
  • Furry Thumbkins: Sometimes, we rob banks.
  • Giant Monster: And sometimes, we scare people and destroy buildings.
  • Queenie: And then those stupid RogueRuff Girls come in to punch us and defeat us.
  • Head Guy: And we end up here in jail.
  • Rex: And since you, Hojo Momo, are the most wanted villain in Metroplesburg, we will bow down into your pressence.
  • (All the villains, except for Queenie, bow down to King Julien.)
  • Queenie: Except for one thing. Besides wanting to be one of the RogueRuff Girls, I SHOULD BE CROWNED ROYALTY!
  • King Julien: But I already am crowned. At least I think I was until a mysterious figure interrupted my walk alone and took my crown!
  • (The villains start fighting each other, forming a dust cloud, until a feminine voice shouts...)
  • Meduce: What is this I am hearing about royalty?!
  • (The villains stop fighting and look at the entrance of Meduce, who is a woman with dark brown hair like Medusa, and wears a red skin-tight outfit with tall boots.)
  • Meduce: Looks like this prison has gotten its king. (She walks up to King Julien.)
  • King Julien: Who are you?
  • Meduce: What do you mean who am I? We're cellmates. I am Meduce. Queen Meduce to be exact.
  • King Julien: Well, I humbly thank you for rescuing me from that mysterious hooded nightmare. I'd give you that. But if you can just let me out of here so that I can return back to my kingdom who are already on tour.
  • Villains: (laughing)
  • King Julien: Uh...
  • Meduce: Rescue? This is prison. Nobody gets rescued. Mostly.
  • King Julien: How inspiring. Ma'am, no matter how hard you can convince me to stay in this cesspool, I have a pretty solid schedule. I have a tour to lead.
  • Meduce: Right. We haven't had you here in a long time, we saved your throne for you.
  • (She shows him his cell with an electric chair, a tire swing, and a poster of a lemur who looks like Clover.)
  • King Julien: That is not my throne. Besides, I have not sat on my own throne since Koto took over my OWN kingdom. You know, way down in Madagascar.
  • Meduce: Where's that?
  • King Julien: It is an island off the coast of Africa.
  • Meduce: Oh, how very fascinating. But, as you can see on this map, you have your own lair, in the center of Metroplesburg. (She shows him the map of Metroplesburg, pointing at a black lair with a giant dome with a telescope on it.)
  • King Julien: Obviously, I pictured my kingdom as an airplane.
  • Meduce: In fact, as far as authorities are concerned, you are definitely Hojo Momo, tuxedo, or no tuxedo.
  • King Julien: Oh, wow. That is really just... Gotta run! (He runs away from the cell and runs out of the jail, where two human cops catch him with a net.)
  • Human Cop: Not so fast, Hojo Momo.
  • King Julien: (chuckles nervously)
  • (The human guards take King Julien into his cell, and as soon as King Julien is in his cell, the cell door closes, and the human cops leave.)
  • King Julien: Oh, snap.

Scene 26: What You Want is What You Get

  • (Back at the train riding its way around the TV Universe, Ivan looks over a paper with a magnifying glass.)
  • Ivan: According to this, it would appear that the key of Captain Terrence Corpseton is currently located inside the bust of his business partner, Virgil the Mysterious, which is placed at the monument exhibit of the History Then and Now Museum at channel 400.
  • Hamabra: That's excellent. First, we will break into the museum.
  • Danvers: And then, we will ransack the bust.
  • Pompeii: Eventually, we get to destroy it.
  • Magic Steve: And finally, we will take the key from inside.
  • Ivan: But, it's not going to be too easy. You see, nobody even knew who Virgil the Mysterious is or his appearance.
  • Hamabra: Of course not. He was only his representative, and nobody cares.
  • Ivan: The problem is that there's so many busts inside the exhibit. 400 at least.
  • Magic Steve: That could be a bit of a problem. Allow us to think of this, okay, lower rank?
  • (Just then, Sandy, Isabella, Marlene, and Clover enter from another car door.)
  • Sandy: Uh, excuse us, SpongeBob.
  • Isabella: Is this a good time, Phineas?
  • Marlene: Skipper, mind if we interject?
  • Clover: This will only take a minute, King Julien.
  • Ivan: That's your cue.
  • Sandy: We just want to come clean to you to say that we accept your apology.
  • Isabella: And we should forget about our argument from earlier.
  • Marlene: And that we got a little bit carried away with all of this wedding planning.
  • Clover: So, shall we make up?
  • Hamabra: Listen, sister, do we look like someone who make up for lost times?
  • Danvers: Do you know it's not polite for you to interrupt our thinking?
  • Pompeii: Do you see signs on our heads reading "DISTURB?!"
  • (The girls gasp and they start running out the door.)
  • Ivan: What did you do that for?
  • Magic Steve: We were thinking of our evil plan, and you know how we can't be intruded when we devise our scheme.
  • Ivan: If you want to make our abscond, you have to stay in character.
  • Danvers: But we are staying in character.
  • Ivan: If you're going to steal the Rare and Irreplaceable Diamond, stick to the plan. Ask them if they are interested in what they want. They'd be happy if you'd please them with their suggestions.
  • (Sandy, Isabella, Marlene, and Clover are packing their stuff as if they have had enough of this journey.)
  • Sandy: What is it with that sponge?
  • Marlene: What is it with that penguin?
  • Clover: What is it with that king?
  • Isabella: What is it with this tour?
  • (Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve enter the room, smiling.)
  • Sandy: We refuse to talk to you, guys.
  • Isabella: Yeah, leave us alone if you have to.
  • Marlene: You guys should be on your way. So, there's the door.
  • (But Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve didn't care. They are still standing there.)
  • Clover: You heard us. GET OUT!
  • Hamabra: I think I know what your problem is. You don't know what you want, do you?
  • Sandy: Well, of course. I was...
  • Hamabra: Shh. You are the woman I've been longing for.
  • Danvers: I am the man of your dreams.
  • Pompeii: So, join me. I will make your wildest dreams come true.
  • Magic Steve: That's right. The way we see it, what you want is what you get.
  • (Suddenly, Magic Steve throws down a smoke pellet, and when the smoke clears, they are wearing white 50's wear, complete with sunglasses.)
  • (Song: What You Want (Is What You Get))
  • Hamabra: Listen up, my friends. I will make amends.
  • Danvers: I will give you my advice.
  • Pompeii: May this lesson be very plain to see.
  • Magic Steve: That love is right before your eyes.
  • (A jumping rat opens a door, revealing a 50's style interior filled with a disco ball and anonymous desires the girls dream of. Rats can also be seen skating while holding food. Multi-colored lights are everywhere.)
  • Hamabra: Baby, can't you see?
  • Danvers: When you're with me, the light means green. (He picks up a green "Go" sign.)
  • Pompeii: Green means go, so no more waiting around.
  • Magic Steve: Let's get the show on the road.
  • (Curtains open up to reveal Hamabra doing some interprative dance.)
  • Hamabra: Ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-a-dong. (He jumps down to Sandy.) I can give you what you want.
  • Rats: What you want.
  • Danvers: I can give you what you need.
  • Rats: What you need.
  • Pompeii: I can give you all your hopes and dreams.
  • Magic Steve: Ooh, baby, ooh, let's go. The light is green.
  • (Soon, Sandy, Isabella, Marlene, and Clover felt like dancing. Then, a horned pegasus flies in and is being rode in by Hamabra and Danvers. Sandy and Isabella hop on.)
  • Hamabra: I'll make your dreams reality. I'll make you go...
  • Sandy: Ooh-whee.
  • Danvers: I'll satisfy all your desire.
  • Horned Pegasus: Hay.
  • (Danvers gives the horned pegasus some hay.)
  • (Suddenly, the scene changes back to the 50's room near a fireplace. Marlene and Clover are sitting by it.)
  • Pompeii: I'll give you everything low cost.
  • (Magic Steve disguised as Santa Claus falls down the chimney.)
  • Magic Steve: Baby, I'll be your Santa Claus. (He then realizes that his booty is on fire.)
  • Pompeii: (takes the sack and gives it to Marlene and Clover who open it.) While you'll just sit down by the fire.
  • Hamabra: (pops out of the sack) Baby, can't you see?
  • (He takes Marlene and Clover inside, where they fall down to a countryside where Danvers is driving a SUV. Sandy and Hamabra are in the backseat. Isabella is in the passenger seat.)
  • Danvers: When you're with me, the light is green.
  • (They approach a traffic light showing all the lights are lit green.)
  • Pompeii: Green means go, so no more waiting around.
  • Magic Steve: Let's get the show on the road. (He jumps out of the SUV and up onto a telephone wire as he shakes his booty.) Ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-a-dong.
  • (The scene changes to a red carpet with the various parodies from "Channel Chasers: The Movie," from "The Futurellis" to "The Meatflints," taking pictures and ask for autographs. A limousine arrives, and a door opens to reveal Sandy, Isabella, Marlene, and Clover walking out of it.)
  • Hamabra: Ooh, baby, I'll make you a movie star.
  • Danvers: (He's the one driving the limo.) Driving around in a limousine will get you up in the silver screen.
  • (Sandy, Clover, Marlene, and Isabella are taking a selfie with the gassy superhero from "The Feldmans.")
  • Pompeii: Ooh, baby, do you like fortune and fame?
  • (The girls nod.)
  • Marlene: Yeah!
  • Magic Steve: There's nothing sweeter than screaming out your name!
  • (Back inside the 50's room, Hamabra is dancing with Sandy, Danvers is dancing with Isabella, Pompeii is dancing with Marlene, and Magic Steve is dancing with Clover.)
  • Hamabra: I can give you what you wan.
  • Rats: What you want.
  • Danvers: I can give you what you need.
  • Rats: What you need.
  • Pompeii: I can give you everything you've dreamed.
  • Magic Steve: Ooh, baby, ooh. Let's go. The light is green.
  • Pompeii: Ooh, yeah. The light is green.
  • (Suddenly, the multi-colored lights all change to green.)
  • Danvers: Ooh, baby, don't stop me now. The light is green.
  • (Now, all of the lights in the room are green.)
  • Hamabra: I think you know what we mean.
  • (The doors now close as the boys twirl the girls out of the room, as the girls squeal with excitement as they fly out of the room and back onto Sandy's room in the train. The boys return as the song ends. The couples hug each other.)
  • Sandy: Oh, SpongeBob.
  • Isabella: Phineas, you really are the one I dream of.
  • Marlene: Skipper. You really are my hero.
  • Clover: You are my king, Julien.
  • (The love fest was interrupted by the true friends of Sandy, Phineas, Skipper, and Isabella.)
  • Masikura: Sorry to interrupt, but we were wondering what tomorrow's schedule is like.
  • Danvers: We don't care what our schedule is like now. Feel free to do whatever you want.
  • Pearl: What?
  • Mr. Krabs: Are you serious, boy? I mean...
  • Patrick: SpongeBob, is it okay for us to do Extreme Jellyfishing Rodeo?
  • Hamabra: Sure, Rick. Like I said, I don't care.
  • Patrick: Thanks, buddy!
  • Marlene: So, they can finally do what they want, what about our Tiny Cowboy medley?
  • Pompeii: Of course, you can. As I said before, I don't give a...
  • Masikura: But, your majesty, we haven't got time for this. We have a live show on channel 400 that lasts three hours.
  • Magic Steve: There's just one thing you're missing, lizard lady. What you want is what you get.
  • Pancho: All right!
  • Clover: Yeah! (laughs)
  • Masikura: Okay. Let's see. We have a jellyfishing rodeo tournament...
  • (The others leave excitedly, leaving Mr. Krabs, Baljeet, Private, and Mort alone.)
  • Mr. Krabs: But come on. What about me money?
  • Baljeet: If we do whatever we want, then we'd have a terrible show on our hands.
  • Private: Yeah, what do WE want, huh?
  • Mort: I don't know about you, guys, but I'm confused. (He runs to the others.) Here I come, feet!

Scene 27: Where Are You, Guys?

  • (Back on "O-M-POW", SpongeBob is still in his cell. He tries to get the talon arm off of him, but it won't come off. He crosses off lines indicating how long he has been here for.)
  • SpongeBob: Wherever could my friends be?
  • (Song: Where Are You, Guys?)
  • SpongeBob: Where are you, guys? Wherever you might be. There’s no one in the world who I want to see. Where are you, guys? I am all alone, in a dark and stanky cell .And as far as I’m concerned, I’m not feeling so well. I just feel so hurt, and I am behind bars. And all I could see outside is the moon and the stars. You gotta show up and rescue me from all this fear. Because you know how I feel without you here. I keep trying my best to get out of this place. But none of these would work, and without seeing my face. All I could think of you is, where are you, guys?
  • (In "Diver Sun," Phineas is still in his cell looking out the window.)
  • Phineas: There’s something in my head, or actually someone. They used to love and respect me, but now it feels like I’m done. They’re probably looking for me all over right now. But what about me? I need to find them somehow. It’s not easy missing all my friends, and they miss me too. I love my friends and family, and they love me too. But here, the days and nights are way too long. So I’m only thinking of my friends and family in song. All I could think of you is, where are you, guys?
  • (In "Darby Way Behind Ya," Skipper is in his cell, working out.)
  • Skipper: The days are tough, the nights are scary. The only friends I have are rough and contrary. But, whenever I sleep, I dream that Im’m with you. But, out here, I am lonesome, and I feel empty too. In the days of yore, I have a goal to dream But, a dream is just a dream, and so it would seem. I have taken upon prisons, but I can’t escape this one. I guess my chances of getaway plans are none. All I could think of you is, where are you, guys?
  • (In "The RogueRuff Girls", King Julien is still in his cell also. He shrivels up in his bed.)
  • King Julien: I am thinking of our laughter and the fun we all had. But thinking of the joys, I feel like being sad. But it’s always good to know, that we are not far apart. But without you here to rescue me, I have a broken heart. I still believe in friendship, I’d miss you through and through. And you’re looking for me as I sing. I just don’t know what to do. I just feel so lost and all alone, and it feels like I’m not there. And you dumped me for a talent agent, and you don’t really care. All I could think of you is, where are you, guys?
  • All four: We’re just scared and all alone, in a dark and scary cell. And there is nothing we can do to make our move for a spell. The only thing we’d think about is our families and friends. But how can we ever reunite when here’s where our time will end. All we could think of you is, where are you guys?
  • SpongeBob: It’s just a greasy spoon…
  • Phineas: All I’d see is the moon…
  • Skipper: Why am I singing in tune…
  • King Julien: I guess I’ll see you soon…
  • All four: Where are you, guys? (sustain note)
  • (SpongeBob falls forward in his cell. Skipper gets back to his workout. SpongeBob and Skipper's shots exit the screen, leaving Phineas and King Julien's shots.)
  • King Julien: Ohhhhhhhh, where are you guys?
  • (song ends)
  • (King Julien's shot leaves as well. In Phineas' cell, he gets splashed on by a guard.)
  • Queen Securia: And no singing either!
  • Phineas: (shivering) I guess I'm just gonna escape from this place on my own. But, how? (He looks at a poster of Isabella Garcia-Shapiro.)

Scene 28: The Gibbertooth Show

  • (The next show the gang goes to is "Gibbertooth" which is a parody of "Jabberjaw." They go into a futuristic underwater amphitheater.)
  • (Backstage, Hamabra is perfecting his SpongeBob impression by watching clips from "SpongeBob SquarePants". First, he watches a clip from "Procrastination" of SpongeBob laughing.)
  • Hamabra: (imitates SpongeBob's laughter)
  • (The second clip he watches is of SpongeBob in "Help Wanted.")
  • SpongeBob on TV: I'm ready!
  • Hamabra: I'm ready.
  • (The third clip he watches is of SpongeBob in "Best Day Ever.")
  • SpongeBob on TV: It's the Best Day Ever.
  • Hamabra: It's the Best Day Ever.
  • (At another room, Danvers is perfecting his Phineas impression by watching clips from "Phineas and Ferb." The first clip is from "Let's Bounce.")
  • Phineas on TV: I know what we're gonna do... today.
  • Danvers: I know what we're gonna do today.
  • (The second clip is from "Rollercoaster: The Musical.")
  • Phineas on TV: Carpe dium. It's Latin for "seize the day."
  • Danvers: Carpe dium. I seize the day.
  • (The third clip is from "Flop Starz.")
  • Phineas on TV: Bow-chicka-bow-wow.
  • Ferbettes on TV: That's what my baby says.
  • Phineas on TV: Mow-mow-mow.
  • Ferbettes on TV: And my heart starts pumpin'.
  • Phineas on TV: Chicka-chicka-choo-wap.
  • Ferbettes on TV: Never gonna stop.
  • Danvers: Gitchee gitchee goo means that I love you.
  • (Elsewhere, Pompeii is reviewing clips from the Madagascar franchise so he can perfectly imitate Skipper. The first clip is from the opening titles of "The Penguins of Madagascar.")
  • Skipper on TV: Cute and cuddly, boys.
  • Pompeii: Cute and cuddly, boys. Cute and cuddly.
  • (The second clip is from the movie "Madagascar.")
  • Skipper on TV: Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.
  • Pompeii: Smile and wave, boys.
  • (The third clip is from "Tangled on the Web.")
  • Skipper on TV: This madness ends now!
  • Pompeii: This madness ends now.
  • (Meanwhile, Magic Steve is watching clips from the Madagascar franchise also so he can make his perfect King Julien impression. The first clip is from the "All Hail King Julien" episode "King Me.")
  • King Julien on TV: I'm the king now. Me! The king!
  • Magic Steve: I'm the king.
  • (The second clip is from "The Penguins of Madagascar" episode "Popcorn Panic.")
  • King Julien on TV: Not the feet! Do not touch the feet!
  • Magic Steve: Not the feet... DO touch the feet!
  • (The third clip is from the movie "Madagascar.")
  • King Julien on TV: I like to move it, move it! Ya like to...
  • Magic Steve: I like to... move it! I've got it now.
  • (Pompeii leaves his dressing room, as Kowalski, Private, and Rico enter by his doorstep.)
  • Private: Skipper, we've been looking for you everywhere.
  • Pompeii: Lay it on me, solider?
  • Kowalski: Your Skipper lingo is improving. So, can you help us with our Bomb Attractor of Immense Magnitude?
  • Pompeii: Well, of course you can. Nobody cares.
  • (The three other penguins cheer, as Danvers and Ferb pass by.)
  • Danvers: Did somebody say they want something that needs building? Because Ferb and I want in. (He and Ferb bring out tools of their own.)
  • Private: I guess we could use all the help we can get.
  • (Cut to a construction montage of Danvers, Ferb, and the penguins building a big vehicle. Sandy comes in and witnesses.)
  • Sandy: Guys, I heard some gadgets whirring. What are you guys building?
  • Danvers: We're making a vehicle of immense magnitude that will attract bombs.
  • Sandy: Hmm. Mind if I make a few adjustments?
  • Pompeii: No, I don't mind at all. Sure, you can.
  • Sandy: Yee-haw!
  • (Moments later, Sandy has made the vehicle stand on four legs with horseshoes, have an ungulate-type head, and a tail.)
  • Sandy: Now, this is a masterpiece.
  • Pompeii: Not bad, Sandra, but isn't it supposed to have wheels and attract bombs?
  • Sandy: You'll see. (She presses a button, causing it to start. Ferb is the test subject.)
  • Kowalski: I say, Ms. Cheeks. You really pulled out all the stops.
  • Rico: Uh-huh. (He barfs up a bomb. The Sandy-made bomb attractor runs up to the bomb, sniffs at it, and eats it.)
  • Danvers: Wow. It worked.
  • Kowalski: But, it isn't really quite magnetic.
  • (Suddenly, the bomb lands in the Sandy-made bomb attractor's large intestine, causing it to blow up.)
  • Sandy: I must say it has a taste for bombs though.
  • Kowalski: Well, back to the drawing board.
  • (The door opens revealing Hamabra and Magic Steve.)
  • Hamabra: Phineas, Skipper, we're about to go on.
  • Magic Steve: The show starts in 30 seconds.
  • Sandy: What are we waiting for?
  • Danvers: Ferb, put the self-destruct button on hold.
  • Pompeii: Let us commence with the broadcast of "Gibbertooth" they won't forget. Let's move, boys! (They all leave the room and enter the auditorium stage.)
  • Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for your special guest hosts, SpongeBob SquarePants and King Julien XIII!
  • (The audience applauds as Hamabra and Magic Steve come on stage.)
  • Hamabra: (imitating SpongeBob) Hello, world and all who inhabit it!
  • Magic Steve: (imitating King Julien) What's up, my peoples. I'm King Julien.
  • Hamabra: And I'm SpongeBob SquarePants.
  • Magic Steve: We know we're special guest hosts tonight, but we have so much in store for you.
  • Hamabra: And to start things off, here are The Poseidons performing a tribute to their beloved drummer, Gibbertooth!
  • (The audience cheers as the curtain reveals four futuristic teenage humans and a dolphin on the drums.)
  • Futuristic Teen: This one goes out to our favorite dolphin, who helps us fight crime, and we all love him right back, Gibbertooth.
  • (Song: Gibbertooth)
  • (A screen displays clips of Gibbertooth fighting against sea monsters and criminals under the sea.)
  • All: He is Gibber Gibber Gibber Gibber Gibber Gibber Gibber Gibber Gibbertooth.
  • Gibbertooth: I'm the intergalactic dolphin, and that's the truth.
  • All: He has the ability to speak fluent English and walk.
  • Gibbertooth: I can breathe underwater.
  • All: He's mighty intelligent that he can do things that...
  • Gibbertooth: Leaving you speechless I oughta.
  • All: Gibber Gibber Gibber Gibber Gibber Gibber Gibber Gibbertooth.
  • Gibbertooth: The most popular talking dolphin, and that's the truth.
  • All: Whatever mess his friends get into, there's only one thing they gotta do. Call Gibber Gibber Gibber Gibber Gibber Gibber Gibber Gibber...
  • Major Monogram: Why don't you look at this?
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: No. No, I won't.
  • All: Gibber Gibber Gibber Gibber Gibber Gibber Gibber Gibber.
  • Major Monogram: O-kay. (He walks out of the wings.)
  • All: Gibber Gibber Gibber Gibber Gibber Gibber Gibber Gibbertooth.
  • Gibbertooth: And I just don't care. (chatters)
  • (song ends)
  • (The audience cheers as, Hamabra and Magic Steve return on stage.)
  • Hamabra: The Poseidon, ladies and gentlemen! Give it up! And now, for our own band, the Channel Chasers' first novelty act, here's two of my closest friends, Patrick Star and Sandy Cheeks, doing some Extreme Jellyfishing Rodeo!
  • (Backstage, Patrick and Sandy (both wearing cowboy hats) approach one of the Poseidons.)
  • Patrick: So, Marina, are you ready to do this?
  • Marina: I can't do it.
  • Sandy: Why not? This is gonna be great.
  • Marina: Are you sure about this?
  • Patrick: Not really. Now, grab your jellyfishing net. We've got some serious jellyfishing to do.
  • (Marina grabs a net from Patrick and follows him and Sandy.)
  • (Meanwhile, outside the Amphitheater, Ivan, Pompeii, Danvers, Hamabra, and Magic Steve swim to a nearby museum.)
  • Hamabra: Move faster, you two. The Poseidons are behind our tails.
  • Magic Steve: I'm coming as fast as I can.
  • Ivan: Over here. (He goes around the corner to the museum door, and his associates follow him. Ivan is already inside the museum. He peaks out of a window. His associates are still outside.) Where were you guys?
  • Hamabra: Where else? Live on television.
  • Magic Steve: You realize we are already on television.
  • (They swim through the window anyway, and make a rough landing.)
  • Hamabra: Follow me. (They proceed to climb up the stairs to the key exhibit on the second floor. Magic Steve tries to catch up.)
  • Magic Steve: Hey, wait for me!
  • Pompeii: How should you know? You're a lemur!
  • (Magic Steve's associates climb up the stairs without him.)
  • Magic Steve: But...
  • (He overhears something from the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy exhibit. It was a clip from the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Origin Special.)
  • Magic Steve: If Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy can breathe underwater, why not the king?
  • (Suddenly, he hears rumbling nearby.)
  • (Back at the Amphitheater, the particular rumbling is coming from jellyfish swimming all over, even through the audience. Sandy and Patrick are riding two big ones, and catching littler ones with their nets. Back at the museum, Pompeii sets off an explosion. Back at the Amphitheater, Marina and Patrick run offstage.)
  • Patrick: The jellyfish have gone crazy! I didn't see that happen.
  • Marina: I have foreseen it. (The jellyfish charge at Patrick and Marina.)
  • Both: Incoming again!
  • (Masikura comes onstage.)
  • Masikura: We apologize, ladies and gentlemen. But right now, let's give a warm round of applause for Mort and Ferb.
  • (Mort (with a mustache) and Ferb (dressed as a woman, complete with a wig) come onstage.)
  • Ferb: (in female voice) Heaven, I'm in heaven. And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak. And I seem to find the happiness I seek, when we're out together dancing cheek to cheek.
  • Mort: (in deep manly voice) Heaven, I'm in heaven. And the cares that hung around me through the week, seem to vanish like a gambler's lucky streak when we're out together cheek to cheek.
  • Ferb: Oh, I love to climb a mountain, and to reach the highest peak, but it doesn't thrill me half as much as dancing cheek to cheek.
  • Mort: And I love to go out fishing in a river or a creek, but I don't enjoy it half as much as dancing cheek to cheek.
  • (On one side of the wings, Private, Baljeet, and Mr. Krabs watch the performance, as Zora peeks her head behind them.)
  • Zora: Oh, he sings so exuberantly too. (She blows a kiss to Mort.)
  • (Dr. Doofenshmirtz and Major Monogram look at the performance from the other side of the wings.)
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Well, I'll be. They have made an achievement. Woo-hoo!
  • Major Monogram: Does that mean you are enjoying the show?
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: No, I'm going to ruin the act! (He laughs evilly.) Encore!
  • Major Monogram: Why don't you sit in the audience.
  • (Meanwhile, back at the museum, Ivan, Hamabra, Danvers, and Pompeii are destroying busts in search of the key of Captain Terrence Corpseton.)
  • Hamabra: Where is it?
  • Danvers: It has to be around here somewhere.
  • Pompeii: Keep smashing, boys. You too, lower rank.
  • Ivan: What's it look like I'm doing? I am smashing.
  • Hamabra: Just find that key!
  • (They find one more unbroken bust which looks like it belongs to Virgil the Mysterious.)
  • Ivan: There's one more left. The key must be in this one.
  • Danvers: If I didn't know better, I'd say he looks a lot like you.
  • (Suddenly, they feel some rumbling, causing Virgil the Mysterious' bust to fall and break. The door swings open revealing Magic Steve.)
  • Pompeii: Magic Steve, where have you been?
  • Magic Steve: Isn't it obvious? I can breathe underwater now. And if that weren't enough, I even stolen powers from Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. I truly am the magic king after all.
  • (Ivan looks down to the broken Virgil the Mysterious bust to see a futuristic key, with a tag reading "Captain Terrence Corpseton.")
  • Ivan: The key of Captain Corpseton.
  • Hamabra: That's a nice label.
  • Pompeii: Now, about the pendant...
  • Ivan: But that's not all.
  • (He turns the tag to the other side.)
  • Danvers: What else does it say?
  • Ivan: (reading) "This man you seek is one who sent, someone will be chosen to find the pendant. Using no weapons, search high and low, at the landmark of a great TV show." Yes. I heard he liked Marvin and the Marmots. It has got to have Corpseton's pendant there.
  • Magic Steve: And I already know where we should continue our televised tour. Channel 500. (He leads his comrades and Ivan out of the exhibit.)
  • (Back onstage, Gibbertooth and Rico are having a drum duel. They both give out drum solos proving that one of which could be the best of the best. Their drumming lasted for a few hours, which in the wonders of animation, seems like a few seconds. The audience is asleep through it all.)
  • (Timecard)
  • French Narrator: A Few Hours Later...
  • (Rico is still beating his drums rapidly, and then suddenly faints. The same goes for Gibbertooth.)
  • Gibbertooth: I just don't care.
  • (The audience wakes up and cheers.)
  • (From the wings Private and Mort are watching the performance from the wings.)
  • Private: Way to go, Rico! Bravo!
  • Mort: Wow. Being praised by everybody.
  • (Hamabra and Magic Steve come onstage one more time.)
  • Hamabra: (imitating SpongeBob) That's our show, folks.
  • Magic Steve: (imitating King Julien) Let's bring out the Channel Chasers!
  • (The curtain opens to reveal Danvers, Pompeii, and the Channel Chasers taking a bow.)
  • Hamabra: And we'd also like to thank The Poseidons!
  • (The Poseidons come out to take their bow.)
  • Hamabra: I'm SpongeBob SquarePants, and this is...
  • Magic Steve: King Julien XIII! And for my final trick, I shall make the Channel Chasers disappear right before your very eyes. Thank you for coming tonight! Good night, everybody! (He throws down a magic pellet to make the Channel Chasers disappear as the audience still cheers.)
  • Patrick: What a performance! And it's all thanks to you... SpongeBob.
  • Isabella: They loved us, Phineas! They loved us!
  • Private: Um, I'm not so sure if we did such a great show.
  • Pearl: Why not? I mean the rousing finale was so extravagant!
  • Ivan: And I must say that the public begs to differ, Private. They really did love us. 5 out of 5 stars!
  • Mr. Krabs: To think I have earned all that dough.
  • Baljeet: Well, talk about fast reviews.
  • Butterfish: And "The Lemur Shining" only received 4.
  • Ivan: I've got even greater news: pack your bags, everybody. I've planned our next performance.
  • Ted: So, that means we still have time for us to practice.
  • Ivan: Why practice? This calls for a big celebration.
  • All: Yeah!
  • Hamabra: You've earned it, my friends. What you want is what you get.
  • (Mr. Krabs, Baljeet, Private, and Mort all look at each other again, and then at Ivan, Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve.)
  • (The next morning, two museum guards open the gate door with a key. When they enter the exhibit, they become shocked to see that all the busts were smashed.)
  • Museum Guard: We're busted.

Scene 29: Interrogation Time

  • (In Channel 401, Vanessa is with Detective Gizmo inside his condo.)
  • Vanessa: This is your show, right?
  • (Detective Gizmo nods)
  • Vanessa: So, what is our agenda today?
  • Detective Gizmo: We're doing our duty. All we have to do is wait for the signal to sound off and the lights to blink. That's how its done here in my show.
  • Vanessa: Where I come from, we use computer technology, practically somewhat evil, like my dad, who I don't actually work for...
  • (Alarms blare and lights blink.)
  • Detective Gizmo: Wowza! The alarms are off and the lights are blaring! That means we've got a job to do!
  • (The two go outside and head for a car.)
  • Vanessa: What's this supposed to be?
  • Detective Gizmo: This is my Gizmo Roadster. It is barely found on other TV shows because of its functions. (They hop in.) It is very ample in space, that I feel bad about this. (He shifts the gear, and the Gizmo Roadster turns into a police plane.) Let's go, roadster!
  • Vanessa: That is so neat, but I so should have gone to the streaming service.
  • (And the Gizmo Roadster takes off. It crashes into a window and flies right into a television set. It soars around the TV Universe.)
  • Detective Gizmo: (off-screen) To Channel 400!
  • (They reached Channel 4000, and as they soar through a city, dodging people, Vanessa was screaming throughout.)
  • Detective Gizmo: Excuse me. Pardon me. Coming through.
  • Vanessa: Eyes on the road! Detective Gizmo!
  • (They have reached the theater, right next door to the museum.)
  • Detective Gizmo: Through the wonders of animation, we have made a few hours-trip in just a few seconds. That wasn't bad, was it?
  • (They hop out of the Gizmo Roadster.)
  • Vanessa: I don't understand. There really is no reason anybody would break down to enter, destroy some valuable art, and have nothing to steal from. What big thing could be missing?
  • Detective Gizmo: I know. Ah. Look at the time. It is time for my rest. (He sits on a chair next to a table. Vanessa realizes something else. Vanessa reads the TV Guide, with photos of the Channel Chasers.)
  • Vanessa: Wait a minute. It occurs to me that some band called Channel Chasers appeared on "The Snarfs" during the crime scene on channel 300, and now they are appearing here in "Gibbertooth" during the robbery of channel 400. You do know what this means, don't you?
  • Detective Gizmo: They love to sight-see.
  • Vanessa: No, they could be possible suspects!
  • Detective Gizmo: Oh! Back to work! Let's follow the Channel Chasers before they surf the Tube some more. Let's move!
  • (They arrive at a crowded train station. They pass two lemurs who are eating at a table.)
  • Lemur 1: Care for some chips, Harry?
  • (The Gizmo Roadster crashes into the station, causing some people to get out of its way It stops when it reaches the Channel Chasers. They hop out.)
  • Detective Gizmo: Excuse me, are you the Channel Chasers? (The two unveil their big badges.)
  • Patrick: These are some really big badges.
  • Detective Gizmo: Gracias. You come with us, so we can ask you some questions.
  • (Song: It's Interrogation Time)
  • Vanessa: Let’s begin, SpongeBob. Tell us about the rob. Explain to us about “The Snarfs.”
  • Hamabra: We did rehearsals first, and then we had bratwurst As we walked around town wearing scarfs.
  • Detective Gizmo: On opening night, explain to us right. Did you sneak into the gallery?
  • Hamabra: I was actually onstage, and I had to engage to take a bow with everybody.
  • Vanessa: We are on a mission, and we have our suspicions. Admit to us your situation.
  • Hamabra: My justification’s pure, that I’m very sure That the people gave us an ovation.
  • Detective Gizmo: We don’t mean no interruption, but you did some corruption.
  • Hamabra: No, I wasn’t. It is my confession. My only endeavor was singing “Best Day Ever”
  • Detective Gizmo and Vanessa: That’s enough. No further questions.
  • Detective Gizmo: Next! (The next suspect is Isabella who walks in and takes her seat.) Okay, little girl, we'll play good cop for you. Listen Isabella. We are here to tell you. Either get thrown in or save your life.
  • Isabella: I have no idea. Phineas has diarrhea. I only stole the show without strife.
  • Vanessa: Give us your position about the composition.
  • Detective Gizmo: If you’re going to save your soul
  • Isabella: What composition exactly? I didn’t see it compactly. The hearts is just what I stole.
  • Vanessa: We’ll give you an excuse, if you give us the news. Now, what is this purpose for?
  • Isabella: I don’t do criminal activity. Are you listening to me? When I performed, they were asking for more.
  • Detective Gizmo: We might as well cuff her. We’ll just let her suffer.
  • Isabella: I’d never steal any possession. Wait until I sue you. I will overdue you.
  • Detective Gizmo and Vanessa: That’s enough. No further questions.
  • Detective Gizmo: What a nice girl.
  • Vanessa: Your choice of words aren't helping.
  • Detective Gizmo: I think that they’ve done it. They’re really really done it.
  • Vanessa: I don’t think they did it. They really didn’t won it.
  • Detective Gizmo: Of course, they did it. How else did they do it?
  • Vanessa: I’m pretty sure that if they did the crime, then they might have blew it. Besides, I truly think it’s very plain to see. It’s obvious that they did not start this burglary.
  • Detective Gizmo: But what if they did? Then they would lose that bet. With no evidence, how are these bandits wet?
  • (The next suspect who takes his seat is Mason.)
  • Detective Gizmo: Let's start from the beginning, before we do the pinning Did you take the mural for the winning?
  • Mason: Wait, you didn’t tell me you were gonna expel me.
  • (Next is Love Handel.)
  • Danny: If you take any one of us, you’re gonna have to sell me.
  • (Next is Timo)
  • Timo: From my own thesis, I would have to insist that our crime spree chances are lower than 6.
  • (Next is Mrs. Puff)
  • Mrs. Puff: If I could just chime in, I didn’t do a crime If I did, I would end up doing time.
  • (Next is Sage Moondancer and his hawk)
  • Sage: [screams gibberish]
  • Detective Gizmo: Does anyone understand what he’s trying to comprehend?
  • (Next is Ferb)
  • Ferb: He’s saying he and his hawk got nothing planned.
  • (Next are a group of animal agents.)
  • Agent Dog: Woof.
  • Agent Cat: Meow.
  • Agent Pig: Oink.
  • Agent Owl: Hoo.
  • Agent Chicken: Cluck.
  • Agent Frog: Ribbit.
  • Agent Raccoon: Chitter.
  • Agent Turtle: Boom.
  • (Rico pops up and chases them.)
  • Rico: (singing gibbering) Kaboom!
  • (Next is Patrick)
  • Patrick: Want to hear my impression?
  • (Next is Maggie the Unwashed)
  • Maggie: I have a suggestion. (She farts.)
  • Detective Gizmo and Vanessa: That’s enough. No further questions!
  • Detective Gizmo: I guess they didn’t do it. They really didn’t do it.
  • Vanessa: I told you they didn’t. How are we gonna sue it?
  • Detective Gizmo: Of course, how could they?
  • Vanessa: They just don’t have any brain.
  • Detective Gizmo: They are not fugitives after all. They give us too much pain.
  • Vanessa: Even though we don’t know who have really did the crime, we know who aren’t actually gonna do some time.
  • Detective Gizmo: Then it’s settled.
  • Vanessa: There is no possible way for them to gun it.
  • Both: We know that none of these suspects embezzled in this whodunit!
  • Detective Gizmo: For some who aren't reprehensible, they are just too sensible.
  • Vanessa: We're out!
  • (song ends)
  • (Patrick is still at his seat and waves at Vanessa and Detective Gizmo.
  • Vanessa: (sighs) Let's review over the documents once more.

Scene 30: SpongeBob's Escape Fails

  • (Back on "O-M-POW" prison, SpongeBob wakes up in his cold hard bed. He gets up and stretches. He heads for a poster of the "O-M-POW" promotional photo with X's on the characters. He takes off the poster, and it reveals a hole in the wall with a cyborg guard inside.)
  • SpongeBob: Aah!
  • Guard 1: You can't go through the escape tunnels.
  • SpongeBob: What are you talking about?
  • Guard 1: We've seen this escape attempt before, and it always fails.
  • SpongeBob: Oh, barnacles.
  • (Outside, people are lined up giving baskets of laundrey to the workers. SpongeBob is inside one of the laundrey baskets. He is wearing a wig. He tries to get out of the laundrey basket until he sees another cyborg guard inside another laundrey basket.)
  • Guard 2: This escape manouver doesn't work out either.
  • SpongeBob: Oh, tartar sauce.
  • (SpongeBob tries going inside a toilet. He hits the handle and the toilet flushes. While he's spinning, water is seen flowing out of his pores. He goes through a big pipe.)
  • SpongeBob: Boy. I've been through filthier pipes.
  • (He finally reaches the end of the pipe, making him pop his head through another toilet, which is at Dr. Poisonous' cell, where a third guard is standing guard.)
  • SpongeBob: Don't tell me. Another failed escape attempt?
  • Guard 3: Definitely.
  • SpongeBob: Aw, fishpaste.
  • Guard 3: Look. We who work at this prison each have an account for online streaming. We've seen all prison movies and prison-related movies that were made, especially the ones made from the deepest regions of space.
  • SpongeBob: (sighs, and then notices a newspaper with the cover story being the "Gibbertooth" show with his friends on the photo.) Hey, wait. There they are. My friends. What are they doing there?
  • (Dr. Poisonous takes the newspaper and reads it.)
  • Dr. Poisonous: "Ivan Eefildur: The Man Leading The Channel Chasers On Legendary Reunion Tour."
  • SpongeBob: What?!
  • Dr. Poisonous: It appears that you are not needed by your friends anymore. They have completely forgotten you.
  • SpongeBob: Oh no. The will never forget me. They just can't. Besides, we are a family.
  • Dr. Poisonous: What did you say?
  • Guard 3: Did you say something about you and your friends being a family? Here, in jail, we don't believe in family. A person only looks out for himself.
  • SpongeBob: (sighs)
  • Guard 3: Don't take it personal. Here, we do a live revue show in a few days to help prevent rioting. I was wondering if you could help me.
  • SpongeBob: I've got something to admit. I don't do live revue shows these days, but thanks anyway for the offer.
  • Guard 3: Offer? You are in jail. You have to help out. We begin our rehearsals tomorrow at 9:00 AM sharp, or else, we will place you in the Tar Pit?
  • SpongeBob: Tar Pit? I've been through tar pits before, but could it be worse?
  • (The guards throw SpongeBob inside a tar pit, where cyborgs (plus Old Man Walker) are sitting there being stuck.)
  • Old Man Walker: Either you help them out with the upcoming revue, or you won't escape this bog.
  • SpongeBob: (to the cyborg guards) What was that you said about rehearasl times?

Scene 31: Phineas' Friends

  • (Cut to a talk show set of "Space Spector: East to West".)
  • Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for "Space Spector: East to West" with your hosts, Space Spector and Karoz!
  • Space Spector: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen. Now, our featured guest coming in has somebody who has the entire TV universe going abuzz. And here they are, from "Diver Sun," please welcome, Queen Securia and Danvers!
  • (Queen Securia and Phineas enter the set as spotlights shine on them, and the audience applauds.)
  • Phineas: The most wanted is here!
  • Queen Securia: Don't you think he the greatest?
  • Audience: Yes. Yes, he is.
  • (Queen Securia and Phineas take their seats.)
  • Space Spector: So, tell us, Danvers, what is it like being the most wanted person in the Night Kingdom?
  • (The audience cheers.)
  • Queen Securia: Silence!
  • (The audience stops.)
  • Phineas: Let me tell you. I guess it feels kind of okay, and I owe it to Queen Securia. For the first time in my life, I'm beginning to believe that... I'm truly needed.
  • Queen Securia and Audience: Aw!
  • Space Spector: Aren't they divine, ladies and gentlemen?
  • (The audience applauds.)
  • Queen Securia and Phineas: Aw, you're too much. Psyche!
  • (The two give out a secret handshake. Queen Securia giggles.)
  • Phineas: It's just something we do.
  • Space Spector: Well, it seems to me that her majesty has something special for our guest, hmm?
  • Queen Securia: As I searched the Night Kingdom for the Bronze Diamond, the one thing I didn't realize is that I have caught... my true king.
  • Audience: Aw!
  • Queen Securia: Danvers, would you care to join me... of singing a soft-rock power ballad?
  • Phineas: Do I ever?
  • (The audience applauds. An alien house band play soft rock power ballad music. Spotlights shine down on Queen Securia and Phineas with microphones in their hands. Before they could even start singing...)
  • Candace: Phineas and Ferb! I found you!
  • (Candace, Ferb, Buford, and Dr. Doofenshmirtz enter.)
  • Candace: I was starting to feel sorry for you. I really miss you.
  • Phineas: Candace, what are you doing here? I was about to sing. Shouldn't you be continuing your grand tour?
  • Queen Securia: Who are these guys?
  • Phineas: Oh, I humbly apologize. Queen Securia, this is my sister, Candace, and apparently the rest. I have no idea who this guy is.
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Well, my name is Heinz Doofenshmirtz. Have you seen my daughter Vanessa? She wears black clothes, she has long brown hair, she goes (imitates Vanessa) Dad!
  • Candace: Actually, I have sent Vanessa inside a TV set on "The Youth and the Peaceless. I thought she was still in Danville, but apparently she is appearing on "Detective Gizmo."
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Why, thank goodness. I just hope she made it back in Danville alive.
  • (Back on "Detective Gizmo," Vanessa goes face to face with the Gizmo Roadster.)
  • Vanessa: Uh, good shapeshifting vehicle thingy.
  • (Back on "Space Spector: East to West"...)
  • Candace: I wanted to accept your apology.
  • Phineas: Apology? What did I do? Go to a kingdom where people love me and the things I do, and think I am wanted? I am Diver Danvers for goodness sake.
  • (Queen Securia points at the audience with her microphone.)
  • Audience: Diver Danvers! Diver Danvers!
  • Candace: Well, I guess that's cool. But what are you wanted for anyway?
  • Phineas: To bring peace to another favorite show of mine. That's all. Exactly how do you want me to beg your forgiveness?
  • Candace: Of course I do, Phineas. I just happen to have something to make it up to you.
  • Phineas: Something that'll make up for everything you thought I have done this summer? That'll never work. If that's the case, no thanks.
  • Candace: But, Phineas...
  • Phineas: I'm sorry, but I am Diver Danvers, I have all I wanted here, and that's me. See? She thinks of me as one of her people. She's with me, and I'm with her. I undoubtedly believe that I'm not being laughed at my expense myself, and cannot help but realize that, you know, well, probably because that you don't even exist in this world.
  • (Candace feels depressed as tears start coming down her eyes, as if she's about to cry.)
  • Queen Securia: I think it would be best if you give him some personal time. (to Phineas) Listen, Danvers, I will handle them.
  • Phineas: You'd really do that? Thank you very much.
  • Queen Securia: Guards, would you give our guests a nice place to hang out?
  • (Two tubians enter the set.)
  • Tubian: We will personally take you to your hotel room if you just come with us.
  • (Phineas looks ashamed, as he watches the tubians escort Candace, Ferb, Buford, and Dr. Doofenshmirtz out.)
  • Candace: (tearfully) Phineas.
  • Queen Securia: Let's hear it for the Night Kingdom's most wanted!
  • (The audience cheers as a spotlight shines on Phineas, who looks happy and, at the same time, upset.)
  • (Backstage, the tubians take Candace, Ferb, Buford, and Dr. Doofenshmirtz.)
  • Candace: I don't understand Phineas at all. You see, ocassionally, I sort of find him to be...
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Intimidating?
  • Ferb: Versatile?
  • Buford: Handsome... I mean heartless?
  • Candace: I wanted to say that he seemed pretty harsh, but he really didn't believe how miserable I was.
  • Tubian: This is it.
  • (He presses a button, and the doors open, causing Candace, Buford, Ferb, and Dr. Doofenshmirtz to gasp at the sight of a hotel suite.)
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I must say that this is a massive game changer. It just goes to show that it...
  • (The tubian pushes a button on a remote, and a trapdoor opens up, causing the four to scream and fall down into the train back in the TV Universe.)
  • Buford: Good thing we've landed on something mobile. Speaking of which...
  • (The canoe lands on Dr. Doofenshmirtz.)
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Ow!
  • Buford: There's my canoe!
  • Candace: Hey. Where am I?
  • (The train takes off from the channel that's showing "Space Spector: East to West.")
  • Candace: Uh, does anybody but me realize that they sent us down a trapdoor leading to a transportation device taking us far away from my brother whom I really wanted to see to I... DON'T... KNOW... WHERE?!
  • (She then notices other passengers from Bikini Bottom, Danville, Central Park Zoo, and Madagascar, many of whom she has never met on her previous TV adventure.)
  • Candace: I mean, Hello. Do any of you know where this train is taking us?
  • King Joey: We is on a televised tour.
  • Mrs. Puff: Yes. Phineas is guiding us as usual.
  • All: What?!
  • Buford: I can't believe that selfish queen from "Diver Sun" sent us all the way back to the tour.
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Well, my goody-goody, lovey-dovey friend, if your little friend hadn't been guiding the way, we probably wouldn't even know the horrible truth to begin with.
  • (Isabella walks up.)
  • Isabella: Do you recognize this new patch I have earned recently? You will never know what I've earned it for!
  • Candace: All right, Isabella. I know Phineas loves all the patch-based scenarios more than anything...
  • Ferb: Ahem.
  • Candace: Right. Other than Ferb. I love this guy. The point is...
  • (The others leave her.)
  • Candace: I don't know what to do. I'm just confused. Maybe Phineas feels the same way about me.
  • (At the caboose of the train, Agent P crawls down to the undercarriage of the train, catching up to the other cars.)
  • (Back in "Diver Sun," Queen Securia is in the dining room, as one of her slaves gives her dinner to her.)
  • Queen Securia: Thank you, your highness. It looks like you haven't put on any weight nicely.
  • Prince Jielin: Tell me, does this make me look fat?
  • (Two guards take Phineas in the dining room.)
  • Queen Securia: There he is. Our favorite prisoner is here to see me.
  • Phineas: Um, thanks.
  • Queen Securia: Let me tell you. I am very grateful of you today. You became very modest with yourself.
  • Phineas: (sighs) You think I would be, right? I don't know about that. I mean, wasn't I a little too hard on my friends?
  • Queen Securia: No. They don't need you telling them what to do.
  • Phineas: (sighs) You're right.
  • Queen Securia: And believe me, I had the same experience when I was one of the servants. Everybody here at the Night Kingdom know that they're one of a kind, so I...
  • (Her pet cat nibbles on Chamillea.)
  • Chamillea: Excuse me, your majesty. (She leaves.)
  • Queen Securia: So I decided to search for my personal destiny in the world, like how you are right now. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a kingdom to rule. (She gets off her seat and leaves.) Help yourself (to her guards) And you, make sure he gets back into your cell when you're done. And another reminder, we're planning a live variety stage show, and I will have him be the director.
  • Phineas: Actually, I have a... (The door closes.) ...question about this uh, pipe. (He sees a bat-like humanoid monster looking at him weirdly. He gets up and walks over to her.) Excuse me, ma'am, but what happens when you get sucked into this pipe?
  • Hiragana: (shrieks)
  • Phineas: Aah! Okay, forget it. I'm just gonna find out for myself.
  • Hriagana: (shrieks)

Scene 32: Skipper's Big Fail

  • (Back on Keppyville, it is morning. A bell rings and the cell gates open.)
  • Officer Arrestem: Rise and shine, maggots.
  • (All the prisoner keppys wake up from their beds and stand, except for Skipper.)
  • Skipper: (sleepily) Rico, paper clip,
  • Officer Arrestem: I said rise and shine!
  • (Skipper wakes up, and sees that his gate is open.)
  • Skipper: Perfect. It's time to make my move.
  • (He waddles out of his cell, and approaches Officer Arrestem. He then slaps the officer's leg, causing him to collapse. He toboggans away.)
  • Officer Arrestem: We have a prisoner on the run. (He rushes over to a button and presses it.) Code red! King Pompeii is escaping again!
  • (Several Keppy guards come out and start chasing Skipper. They chase him through the office. Skipper crashes into a table, and knocks it over the Keppy guards, but they get up and continue chasing him.)
  • Keppy Guard: This is not the time to heal ourselves. Now, get up and start chasing that fugitive!
  • (Skipper slides his way over to the cafeteria, where he jumps onto a table and crash-slides through the dishes.)
  • Skipper: Excuse me. Pardon me. Penguin coming through.
  • (The guards jump onto the table and continue to go after him.)
  • Shelfishness: I really am impressed. It's a breakfast and a show.
  • Skipper: It's just like old times.
  • Keppy Guard: We won't harm you. You're going back to your cell.
  • (The keppy guards crash onto the counter, collapsing on a pile of dirty dishes which likewise crash on them.)
  • (Skipper slides his way back to the office and out the door.)
  • Skipper: If only the boys can see me now.
  • (The keppy guards crash their ways through the door, but it won't budge.)
  • (Back with Skipper, he is wandering through Keppyville.)
  • Skipper: I'm all alone, and my beloved men are supposed to be finding me. (He looks at a bell tower, and then a keppy runs onto a rainy puddle, and splashes on Skipper.) And I don't mind the cold water either. So, I needed that. (He walks his way to an alleyway, where he meets a samll, bald keppy with a mustache and a beard.) Um, hi, kind sir. What are you doing out here hungry and alone?
  • Gensui: No.
  • Skipper: I am not King Pompeii! (The bald keppy stares angrily at Skipper.) I mean, I have no idea why...
  • Gensui: No.
  • Skipper: What are you talking about? It's not even a penguin feather. It belongs to uh... some kind of bird, that can fly, because as everybody knows, penguins can't fly. They prefer to swim when looking for fish to eat. So, do you want to settle this easily, or do you prefer to challenge me difficult?
  • Gensui: Yes.
  • (Skipper invites the bald keppy into a brawl.)
  • Skipper: My thoughts exactly.
  • (Skipper starts to do some martial arts millitary pose. He starts to kick the bald keppy, who releases a sack full of items, and it falls in the trash. Skipper pops his head out of the trash can carrying the sack. The bald keppy rushes over to grab the sack, in which the bald keppy tries to grab it, and Skipper once again takes the sack. The bald keppy stares angrily at him, until Officer Arrestem and his guards come in and frame Skipper again.)
  • Keppy Guard: There he is! And he's fighting with our former #1 most wanted criminal, Gensui!
  • Skipper: We've been ratted out.
  • (The Keppy guards surround the penguin and the bald keppy.)
  • Gensui: No.
  • Officer Arrestem: Looks like we've got ourselves a double threat.
  • (Two keppy guards capture Skipper and Gensui with a big net trap and place them inside a police car.)
  • Officer Arrestem: And don't bother trying to escape anymore. Guards, take them back to their cells. Next time they interact or even think about escaping, we will make sure that one of them ends up as fish carcasses.

Scene 33: King Julien's New Purpose

  • (Back at King Julien's cell...)
  • King Julien: I can't take life here in the big house anymore. I am already missing my peoples, who are doing just fine without their favorite king. Well, I'm gonna have to go out of my cell and back to channel 301. (He marches into a sleeping guard, and he takes out a hair piece from the sleeping guard. He tries to open the lock so he can escape, and the sleeping guard wakes up. The awake guard angrily turns to King Julien, who chuckles sheepishly.)
  • (Then, King Julien sees a box full of dynamite. He opens it and finds a match on the floor. He picks it up, lights it, and was about to fuse it, when he opens the box to reveal Meduce's face.)
  • Meduce: Escaping is useless, Hojo.
  • King Julien: Aah!
  • (Then, King Julien creeps inside a toilet.)
  • King Julien: This will be my greatest escape attempt yet. I am going to escape by going inside the toilet. And being furry, I would clog the toilet, and when the other prisoners would... (He proceeds to flush the toilet, but as the toilet stuffs up, he couldn't manage to go down the drain.)
  • (King Julien is back in his cell. He sighs hopelessly.)
  • King Julien: This is not how my life should end. After all of those failed escapes, I just couldn't see my peoples, or my kingdom, ever. Wait. There is still one more escapade I haven't tried yet. (He clears his throat and inhales.) HEEEEEEEEEEEELP! I guess this won't work. (He sees a flying figure flying above him.) What was that? Could it be some superhero coming to rescue me, or maybe a new super villain plotting revenge in Metroplesberg? I don't know either, but if there's one thing I do know, it's probably gonna be Meduce who has invented a new ship. (But it wasn't really a ship. It was a hawk, dropping off a certain Mountain lemur, who falls into King Julien's cell.) Sage! I can't believe you're here.
  • Sage: One should believe the pressense of a muscular god, who is known to characterize the entire universe, whether it be a spacious open range where creatures run around and have a decent meal, or inside a particularly small square anyone watches inside a house that mobilizes a whole family.
  • King Julien: Okay. (Suddenly, Meduce approaches the two lemurs.)
  • Meduce: Hojo, you are needed to help us escape.
  • King Julien: And how will I help you escape exactly?
  • Meduce: We are planning to have our great escape so that we can defeat the RogueRuff Girls and take over Metroplesburg.
  • King Julien: That's cool and everything, but Sage is here to rescue me from this...
  • Meduce: Help? Look at it this way, Hojo. We have a rule here. Villains don't believe in help. They only help themselves so that they can smash glass windows at a store, break in, and steal jewelry.
  • Sage: I was just going to say that.
  • Meduce: Silence!
  • Sage: I am all about silence. It brings peace to the world, making enemies change their evil ways...
  • Meduce: I said zip it!
  • Sage: (chuckles sheepishly)
  • King Julien: Aah! I can't stay here! I need to get back to my peoples, who are already worried about me leading the televised tour. I mean, is there anyone in the kingdom who could take my place? I mean, just, Aah! (to Sage) You're not cooperating here, Sage.
  • Sage: I'm sorry, but you're gonna have to ask my body's answering machine, my soul.
  • King Julien: Sheesh. Some help you are, B-Dubs. Wait. What was that part you said about peace?
  • Sage: My silence brings quietness and peace to friends and enemies alike.
  • King Julien: Peace to friends and enemies alike? Sage, you're a genius. I think I have found the one way to escape from this prison cell. We should make peace with our enemies. We did that one time with the butterflies, so why not do it on the villains of Metroplesburg, although in a way, most of them aren't really animals. But still, using both your brains and brawns, what's the worst that could happen?
  • (A human warden enters, and the prisoners head back to their respective cells, while Sage climbs up a tire swing. The human guard turns to the cell with the lemurs.)
  • King Julien: (whispers) Remember, I'm going to give the signal for you to walk up to the nice guard and tell him our plans. (loudly) So, what's this I hear about a riot?
  • Human Warden: A riot?
  • King Julien: You got that right, big guy. Rumor has it that it will be the biggest, baddest, most dishonest attack on the city of Metroplesburg.
  • Human Warden: There is no way I'm stopping that.
  • King Julien: Of course, there is. The only way to stop a riot is to give your enemy a hug.
  • Human Guard: Well, that's a laugh. Ha! All the prisoners are enemies of Metroplesburg. How are you ever gonna pull this off?
  • King Julien: Well, surprisingly, in my kingdom, we put on a play to prevent wars and stuff. I remember one time when I directed a play when I was a schoolboy. So, do you think I could direct a play on the prisoners?
  • Human Warden: You?
  • King Julien: Sure. I mean, thanks to my arch-enemies, the RogueRuff Girls, you've been keeping prisoners, such as myself, locked up in their cells for a long period of time without anything to eat, drink, or keep ourselves toasty. Thank nothing of it, really. (to Sage) Get ready. Here it comes. (to the human guard) Bring it here. (The human warden hugs King Julien from the bars.) Well, the key to putting on a live show is getting the equipment and promotions needed.
  • Human Warden: Really?
  • (Sage is just watching with his eyes staring into space.)
  • Sage: Pizza Parlor? No. I like Victorian armchair.
  • King Julien: Hug him now, Sage. This is it. Your chance.
  • Human Warden: What did you just say?
  • King Julien: Probably nothing. Anyways, the second key to put on a live stage show is self control. Bring it in closer now. (The human warden holds Julien more firmly.) Sage, are you really gonna help me with this group hug?
  • Sage: I was right about Pizza Parlor. What? (He hugs King Julien and the human warden.)
  • King Julien: No. Now, my bodyguard here, is missing the point. He really wasn't paying any attention to the keys which I was explaining. (The human warden grabs the keys and opens the gate.) So, I guess you've learned from the master.
  • (The human warden releases the two lemurs.)
  • Sage: Namaste.
  • King Julien: Now, let all the other prisoners know about this recital, and we, along with the happy citizens of Metroplesburg, will all get along fine.
  • (The human warden leaves, as Julien and Sage exit the cell.)

Scene 34: Do Differences Matter?

  • Detective Gizmo: And that starfish is just utterly stupid. Probably the smartest one of the group.
  • Vanessa: Perhaps you could be right about your hunch over The Purple Puma.
  • Detective Gizmo: Except it just occurred to me that the Channel Chasers are gonna perform live on "Melvin and the Marmots" on channel 500. I think you might be right about your hunch over the Channel Chasers.
  • Vanessa: It's like if we're...
  • Both: ...not different from each other after all.
  • Detective Gizmo: Come on, then. Let's follow the Channel Chasers to channel 500.
  • Vanessa: To Channel 500! (She presses a button on the Magical Remote Control-inator, making them vanish yet again.)

Scene 35: Karl Stalks

  • (Back on the TV Universe, Ferb, Kowalski and Rico are repurposing their invention.)
  • Kowalski: Rico, I was thinking. The mechanism seems to be exhausted. We can fix this. What we need is a screwdriver, a mallet, a crowbar, fanblades, a snowglobe, an anchor, Ted's ukulele, a plunger, a payphone... Wait. Something else is missing, but what?
  • (Timo passes by and enters the room.)
  • Timo: Excuse me. Am I interrupting?
  • Kowalski: Phineas and Skipper are supposed to be supervising this project. Could you fill in and suggest what we're missing?
  • Timo: Hmm. I think I might know just what it is. Be right back. (He leaves the room.)
  • Kowalski: Wait till Private sees this once it's all done. Where is he anyway?
  • (Elsewhere in the train, Private, with Mr. Krabs, Baljeet, and Mort watch from a closed door, where inside, Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve are doing some yoga, as they are surrounded by scented candles and sitting on rugged mats.)
  • Mr. Krabs: Are you sure that's SpongeBob?
  • Baljeet: Theoretically speaking, I'm thinking that we are 99% sure that this is the real Phineas Flynn.
  • Private: I don't know if this is the real Skipper.
  • Mort: Should we ask them?
  • (They go to the same room where the bomb attractor is being made.)
  • Mr. Krabs: Uh, excuse us, but...
  • (To their surprise, a wild party is happening. It turns out Timo has placed a disco ball on top of the machine. Partygoers are flirting, and grooving to window-shattering music. Horst is on a turntable. Jeremy and the Incidentals are singing and playing their instruments.)
  • Pearl: Hey, Daddy!
  • Mr. Krabs: Coming, Pearl.
  • (He opens another door as a host of teenage fishes and humans chant "Jump!" as Pearl stands on a diving board.)
  • Pearl: Hi, Daddy!
  • Mr. Krabs: I didn't know trains have an indoor swimming pool.
  • Pearl: Like it? It's totally coral of SpongeBob to think of it. (She jumps from the diving board and makes a big splash.) Woo hoo!
  • Teens: Yeah! (They dive in the pool and they start breaching.)
  • (Back with Baljeet, Private, and Mort, they are trying to get everybody's attention.)
  • Baljeet: Excuse me, everybody. Could we calm things down a notch for a moment?
  • (Private waddles up Rico who is chugging up some fish and eggnog in front of Kowalski, Becky and Stacy Badger.)
  • Stacy and Becky: Chug! Chug!
  • Private: Rico, Kowalski, mind if I cut in?
  • (At another table, Candace rolls out some dice in front of some of her friends, plus Stacy or Jenny.)
  • Private: If I could have everyone's attention for just a split second?
  • (Clover comes in flying on a hangglider, causing Private, Baljeet, and Mort to duck. They then hear a loud crash. Mort looks a the mayhem.)
  • Mort: QUIET!!! (The party stops for a bit.) Thank you.
  • Private: We were wondering. Does anyone realize that SpongeBob, Phineas, Skipper, and King Julien have been acting strange recently?
  • (Everyone shook their heads and murmur.)
  • All: No.
  • Mr. Krabs: See? It's just your imaginations.
  • Baljeet: I was right.
  • Private: We were worried about nothing.
  • Mort: You guys can get back to doing what you were doing. (The four leave the room, as the party resumes.)
  • Gary: Meow.
  • Perry: (chatters)
  • Rico: (sighs) Bad penguin.
  • (From above, Karl and Chauncey appear from a baggage bin.)
  • Chauncey: (chatters)
  • Karl: They won't suspect he isn't the real King Julien. Not yet at least. (He cackles villainously.)

Scene 36: Revue Rehearsals

  • (Meanwhile, back on "O-M-POW," SpongeBob and Dr. Poisonous are watching their fellow convicts sing.)
  • Prisoners: And that's why you're my cooky wooky teddy bear.
  • Dr. Poisonous: Silence! You are horrible at this. You, Hamabra, get this right, or we'll put you back into the tar pit.
  • SpongeBob: Oh. Okay. (He looks at his cell mates.) Listen, it's okay to begin with a bouncy musical number and then get into a decent comedy skit.
  • Gunther: But, we're big fans of the band who performed that song until a chubby pink starfish announced his song.
  • Reynold: Gunther loves that song. It shows lots of appeal and feelings for him.
  • Donald: I don't like singing another song but that. I sing, I dance, and I kill!
  • Prisoners: (laughing)
  • Reynold: How do you like it?
  • (SpongeBob realizes the conciousness of his friends, old and new.)
  • Conscience Rico: Rock and roll!
  • Conscience Sandy: Can we do a jellyfishing rodeo?
  • Conscience Clover: Can we start The Ladder?
  • Conscience Isabella: How about if I could sing a medley?
  • SpongeBob: ENOUGH!!! Now, listen, auditions are tomorrow, and if anybody here has a problem, you know where to find me! (pants)
  • Dr. Poisonous: (He approaches SpongeBob.) Thanks, Hamabra. You know how long we've been waiting to hear those words.
  • Reynold: If you can help us learn about the performing arts, we will listen to you, Sponge. What do you say? (He shakes hands with SpongeBob.)

Scene 37: Prison Brawl

  • (Back at Keppyville Police Department, Skipper is all set for a fight against one of the toughest prisoners, a strong, muscular Keppy.)
  • Shelfishness: Standing at this corner is my boss and new #1 criminal, King Pompeii!
  • Keppy Prisoners: (cheering)
  • Shelfishness: And standing at the opposite corner is known for breaking and entering, even if he doesn't say much. Let's give a big hand for Gensui!
  • Keppy Prisoners: (cheering)
  • Shelfishness: Remember, no being saved by the bell at the end of the fight, no biting, and no escaping.
  • (Skipper and Gensui (who is beefier and stronger now) stare at each other angrily. They both run into each other and start fighting. Skipper does his world-famous flipper punches and foot kicks on Gensui, who uses his bare hands to grab Skipper and punches him once. Skipper drops to the floor, but then gets up and starts using throwing stars at Gensui, who collects them, and throws them back at Skipper and they knock him down. Skipper then realizes something. So he whistles loudly, causing several rockets to fall from the ceiling, crashing on Gensui. Afterwards, Gensui gets madder, that he lights one of the fallen rockets, and aims at Skipper who misses by using a bansai bubble from Maho Mushi. Skipper takes a giant hammer from the pocket and starts to hit Gensui with him. Gensui gets up, fueling up with blistering fury, that he grabs Skipper again and is about to punch him once more until...)
  • Skipper: Maho Mushi Mallet Beam Attack!
  • (Skipper enhances the mallet and starts energizing a beam so powerful, that it knocks down Gensui down to the ground.)
  • Shelfishness: And we have a winner! King Pompeii really is our new most wanted criminal!
  • (The keppy prisoners cheered.)
  • Officer Arrestem: Well, I'll be. King Pompeii, i've never seen such tactics from you. That really took a lot of guts. What's your secret?
  • Skipper: Well, I did a little channel surfing, I guess.
  • Officer Arrestem: And as a reward, you will direct a live show to prevent Keppyville from senseless violence.
  • Skipper: Well, I don't really direct performances, unless I'm out at the penguin enclosure with my men, but sign me up.

Scene 38: Good Night, Julien

  • (King Julien and Sage are being placed back to his cell. Meduce comes to them.)
  • Meduce: Good night, your highness. You did good today.
  • King Julien: Thank you, Meduce.
  • Meduce: Although you're not needed by your friends, we will be there for you. I'll see you tomorrow.
  • King Julien and Sage: Good night.
  • (Meduce leaves his cell.)
  • Meduce: Good night, Posspurple Posse.
  • Rex: Good night, Meduce.
  • Meduce: Good night, Furry Thumbkins.
  • Furry Thumbkins: Good night, Meduce.
  • Meduce: Good night, Bacteria Brothers.
  • Head Guy: Good night, Meduce.
  • Meduce: Good night, Queenie Highcash.
  • Queenie: Good night, Meduce.
  • Meduce: Good night, ZIR.
  • ZIR: Good night, Meduce.
  • (King Julien starts curling himself up and goes to sleep.)

Scene 39: Phineas' Nightmare

  • (In his cell, Phineas is asleep, shivering. The moment he wakes up, he finds himself back in Danville. He is riding on a flying saucer.)
  • Phineas: Hey. I'm home! Yes! It's good to be back. If you could just drop me off here, that'd be great.
  • Male Voice: (off-screen) Not quite.
  • Phineas: Who said that?
  • Male Voice: (off-screen) Come closer.
  • (He peaks over to the driver's seat to see Ferb is driving.)
  • Phineas: Ferb? Did you really come all this way to rescue me?
  • Ferb: Actually, I...
  • Male Voice: (off-screen) You have to be closer than that. Just look behind you.
  • (Phineas turns his attention to the backseat, only to get mud flinged at him.)
  • Phineas: Ah! Dude! This is not at all what I was thinking! Wait a minute. Who are you?
  • (The particular mud flinger is exactly where that voice is coming from, and the mud came out from his mouth. The voice and mud came from the mouth of a mudskipper.)
  • Jarsh-Jarsh: I am the Jarsh-Jarsh.
  • Phineas: What are you doing here?
  • Jarsh-Jarsh: I am glad you asked me that. Is this the direction you want to take?
  • Phineas: Well, I'm pretty sure... Uh, maybe if... Well, Ferb and I do stuff like this all the time.
  • Jarsh-Jarsh: If you ask me, you have an alternative route.
  • Phineas: But, what makes you say that? I mean, it's not like some mysterious force takes this invention away before Mom comes home, and... (Jarsh-Jarsh barfs some more mud on Phineas.) Hey, you didn't even let me finish!
  • Jarsh-Jarsh: Just look down below.
  • (They see Mom's car pull up to the Flynn-Fletcher house, and Candace runs in and drags her out of the car.)
  • Phineas: Mom's coming home! And Candace! She's taking her to see the...
  • Jarsh-Jarsh: Now, just look the other direction.
  • (Phineas does just that and sees no mysterious force that takes an invention away.)
  • Phineas: I don't understand how or where it disappears to. (He looks down again to see Danvers using a ray to make the spacecraft ride unmoveable. He tries to lift it, but it won't move.) What the... (Jarsh-Jarsh splatters mud all over, causing Phineas to scream.) You are freaking me out right now! Just take your mud and leave me alone!
  • Jarsh-Jarsh: Fine, then.
  • Linda: (off-screen) PHINEAS! FERB! GET DOWN HERE THIS SECOND!
  • (Ferb presses a button making him and Phineas to zap down to the ground.)
  • Linda: You made that?
  • Phineas: Well, I... I can explain all of this.
  • Linda: Phineas, Ferb, you are grounded for the rest of the summer!
  • Candace: Yes! Victory is mine!
  • (A bus pulls up and the Unnamed dream sergeant comes in and takes Phineas and Ferb inside the bus. The bus door closes, and the bus takes off.)
  • Candace: Later, you dweebs!
  • (The bus is taking Phineas and Ferb to the Smile Away Reformatory School, where they see their friends, SpongeBob's friends, Skipper's friends, and King Julien's friends being forced inside, and they were all wearing handcuffs. Magic Steve is giving out the handcuffs.)
  • Jarsh-Jarsh: Now, do you understand the route you're taking?
  • (Phineas and Ferb get handcuffed and are being forced inside.)
  • Phineas: What's happening? No!
  • Jarsh-Jarsh: This is what you will get for being the unaged antagonist of "Diver Sun."
  • (He sees Isabella giving jewels and all of her patches to Danvers, who sits on the throne and laughs evilly that he grabs her hand and turns her into a zombie.)
  • Phineas: Isabella! NO!
  • Dream Sergeant: Last two apprehended, boss!
  • (Phineas and Ferb walk over to Danvers who takes all of the gadgets from their pockets, and starts to grab Phineas and Ferb.)
  • Phineas: No!
  • (Back in the cell, Phineas wakes up and realizes that it was a bad dream.)
  • Phineas: Whoa. That was a weird dream. But, I'm still under arrest. (sighs) Oh well. (He goes back to sleep.)

Scene 40: Bad Guys Revealed!

  • (Back at the TV Universe, Mr. Krabs, Baljeet, the penguins (including Pompeii), and Mort are asleep in their respective rooms. In Mort's private room, he couldn't himself to sleep, especially when his room is surrounded by photographs of King Julien, mostly his feet.)
  • (The next morning, the train stops inside channel 500. Mort wakes up, and finds himself in "Marvin and the Marmots" a parody of Alvin and the Chipmunks." Outside the window, he sees Ivan walking out of the train with briefcases.)
  • Mort: Hmm. I wonder what he is up to.
  • (Mort goes inside the rooms of Mr. Krabs, where he wakes up Mr. Krabs by placing a dollar bill on the crab's nose.)
  • Mr. Krabs: (sleepily) Money. (He wakes up.) Money?! (He hops out of bed and rushes out of the room, spilling heaps of dollars.)
  • (Mort goes into Baljeet and Buford's room, where he wakes up Baljeet, and in the process, takes Buford's canoe. The next room Mort goes into is the penguins'. Mort tucks himself under Private's head.)
  • Private: (sleepily) I love a soft pillow, Skipper. (wakes up) Mort?!
  • Mort: Come on. We've got to find out what Ivan is up to. Let's go. (They jump off the bed.)
  • (Mort, Mr. Krabs, Baljeet, and Private (who are wearing a trench coat, as Baljeet wears the hat and fake mostashe) hop out of the train and follow Ivan around town as they go through a dome tunnel, get their pictures drawn by a street artist, and finally enter inside a studio. There, Ivan turns around to see if anybody's around, causing Mr. Krabs, Baljeet, Private, and Mort to hide, and then when Ivan is gone, the four turn and follow him. They reach a recording studio where they hide behind a shelf of vinyl recording albums, while Ivan is chatting to a man on the phone.)
  • Ivan: Sir, I want these ratings to be posted on tomorrow's top story on the TV Guide. I'm sure of it. Give the upcoming show a success.
  • Head of the Network: I'm the head of the network. I don't profit on ratings. Just kidding. What will it be?
  • (While watching the conversation, Mr. Krabs, Private, and Mort come out of the trench coat, causing Baljeet to trip, and fall on the shelf, causing an album to fall and crash.)
  • Head of the Network: What happened?
  • Ivan: Probably just rodents. I don't care.
  • (Mr. Krabs, Baljeet, Private, and Mort, just squeeze themselves inside the shelf.)
  • (Ivan places the briefcase on the table, and takes out some tickets. A man enters the recording studio.)
  • Ivan: Here, Mr. Cecille. I want you to sell tickets to anyone who would take an interest. As a matter of fact, you're gonna have to pay them to see the show.
  • Mr. Cecille: Mr. Eefildur, they are Channel Chasers. It will be hard to work with them.
  • Ivan: (on the phone) Oh, and by the way, this show has to be critically acclaimed.
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, my.
  • Baljeet: This man has a lot of briefcases.
  • Private: I know, right?
  • Mort: We need to tell them, don't we?
  • (Back inside the train, Patrick, Candace, Kowalski, and Maurice are having lunch. Patrick is having a krabby patty, Candace is having a grilled cheese sandwich, Kowalski is having fish, and Maurice is having mangoes. Patrick looks at a stack of newspapers. Each one has a front cover of Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve.)
  • Patrick: What do we have here? (He takes a bite of the krabby patty, and some mustard landed on Hamabra's boil.) What is SpongeBob doing in the newspaper?
  • (Candace takes another newspaper, which Patrick spilled a dab of ketchup from the krabby patty on it.)
  • Candace: No way. Phineas is on a newspaper?
  • (Kowalski takes yet another newspaper which has a bit of relish covering Pompeii's feather.)
  • Kowalski: That's remotely strange. Skipper is on the cover story.
  • (Maurice takes one more newspaper which his bits of mustard, ketchup, and relish forming King Julien's crown, covering Magic Steve's head.)
  • Maurice: I never noticed King Julien on the covers before.
  • (The four remove the food coverings from the news, causing them to scream a bit, and then they start laughing.)
  • (Just then, Mr. Krabs, Baljeet, Private, and Mort rush back inside the train.)
  • Mr. Krabs: Guys, you're not going to believe this!
  • Baljeet: But we've got something very disturbing to say.
  • Private: We found out that Ivan is exactly why we keep selling out shows.
  • Mort: He keeps giving tickets and is inducing broadcasters and the press to write positive ratings.
  • Patrick: Oh, why didn't we think of that? (The others look at him.) What I meant to say is that's not very good.
  • Mr. Krabs: The question is... WHY?!
  • Mort: The other question is what does that have to do with King Julien, SpongeBob, Phineas, and Skipper acting strange during this tour.
  • Patrick: Before anyone can answer, let me show you something. (He takes the other three newspapers to show Mr. Krabs, Baljeet, Private, and Mort the cover story.)
  • Mr. Krabs: Yeah, yeah. That's HamaBra, the evil sponge.
  • Baljeet: And Danvers, from "Diver Son".
  • Private: Yes. Pompeii, the most ferocious penguin, from "Darby: Way Behind Ya!"
  • Mort: And Magic Steve. Undead villain from "The RougeRuff Girls." What does that even have to do with this conversation?
  • Patrick: Nothing at all. But watch this! (He blocks HamaBra's boil, Danvers' long hair, Pompeii's feather, and Magic Steve's tuxedo with his hands and feet.)
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, it's SpongeBob.
  • Candace: Isn't that Phineas?
  • Private: Hey, it's Skipper.
  • Mort: How darling. King Julien.
  • (Patrick then shows the group the boil, the long hair, the feather, and the tux.)
  • All: Ah!
  • Mr. Krabs: What are you doing to me fry cook?
  • Baljeet: Are you trying to ruin Phineas?
  • Private: Who are you, and what have you done to Skipper and King Julien?!
  • (thunderclap)
  • Mort: Wait a second. Guys, what if Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve replaced SpongeBob, Phineas, Skipper, and King Julien?
  • Others: Uhhhhhhh...
  • (A light bulb switches on above Patrick.)
  • Patrick: No, that's silly. Everyone will realize that it's them. (laughs, but when the light switches off, he stops.) Will they?
  • (The group reaches the caboose. Private opens the door.)
  • Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob?
  • Baljeet: Phineas, are you there?
  • Private: Hello? Anybody home?
  • Mort: King Julien, where are you?
  • Patrick: SpongeBob?
  • Candace: It's good. Maybe we should leave.
  • Private: (takes Candace by the skirt.) No. We should investigate.
  • (She, along with Patrick, Kowalski, and Maurice approach a suitcase. Patrick opens it.)
  • Patrick: I didn't know SpongeBob has this many bombs.
  • Candace: But Phineas never keeps bombs.
  • (Mort, Private, Mr. Krabs, and Baljeet look at some blueprints.)
  • Baljeet: These blueprints. Phineas obviously drew it.
  • Kowalski: And it looks like he's planned a heist in a comedic fashion.
  • Private: I don't think so. They fail too easily. (He turns around and sees something else on top of a drawer.) What's this?
  • (The something else on top of the drawer include yellow paint, Danvers' Phineas helmets, black-and-white scissors, and lemur-skin fur. They take a closer look.)
  • Patrick: It's starting to get scary here. I'm not gonna lie.
  • (Mr. Krabs takes a dab of yellow paint with his pincer. Baljeet touches the fabric of Danvers' clothing, Private picks up the scissors, and Mort picks up a smoke pellot and drops it on the ground and magically disappears.)
  • Private: Oh dear.
  • Mr. Krabs: Uh-oh.
  • Candace: What is it? What? Tell us! What?
  • (Mort reappears in a puff of smoke with the newspapers with the bad guys on the cover story.)
  • Mort: It can't be...
  • (Mr. Krabs takes the dab of yellow paint on HamaBra's boil. Baljeet places the Phineas' helmet on Danvers' photo, Private snips out the feather off of Pompeii's photo, and Mort places lemur fur on Magic Steve's photo. The group realizes it and they emit a massive scream of horror. A scream so loud that other networks can hear it.)
  • Patrick: Let's get out of here!
  • (They tried to leave, but they got cornered by HamaBra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve.)
  • Hamabra: Where do you think you're going?
  • Candace: Aah!
  • Private: What have you done with Skipper?
  • Maurice: Please, don't hurt me. What do you want?!
  • Magic Steve: It looks you you have had your last laugh!
  • (Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve begin to attack Patrick, Mr. Krabs, Baljeet, Candace, Kowalski, Rico, Mort, and Maurice, when suddenly, Gary, Agent P, Rico, Chauncey, and Karl ambush and attack the bad guys.)
  • Patrick: Huh?
  • Candace: Wha?
  • Private: Oh my.
  • Mort: Oh my gosh.
  • Gary: Meow!
  • Agent P: (chatters angrily)
  • Rico: Bad penguin!
  • Karl: You cannot destroy King Julien!
  • Kowalski: Wow, you bailed us out of this, Rico.
  • Rico: Thank you.
  • Patrick: Good boy, Gary. (He pets Gary's shell.)
  • Candace: Thanks, Perry. By the way, why do you have a fedora?
  • Mort: Uh, guys?
  • (The other good guys (and Karl and Chauncey) turn to notice that the bad guys have gotten up from the ground and ready to attack again. Hamabra reveals his cyborg hand. Phineas fires energy beams via his hands. Pompeii opens his beak to reveal beartrap teeth. Magic Steve unleashes his magic. All of which frightens the good guys. The bad guys are ready to attack!)
  • Private: Hurry! We must evacuate now!
  • (Patrick, Mr. Krabs, Gary, Baljeet, Agent P, Kowalski, Private, Rico, Chauncey, Karl, Maurice, and Mort jump out of the train and out on their own in the vecinity of the TV Universe. The bad guys take one last look at the runaway passengers. Mr. Krabs, Baljeet, Private, and Mort look at the bad guys once more as the enemies sneer at them frightening the heroes once more.)
  • Patrick: Good idea! We better hop back on the train and explain this to the others!
  • Private: But we can't do that. It's our word against his. Nobody believed us, and they all fell for it.
  • Maurice: Should we report this to the police?
  • Baljeet: We have no evidence!
  • Mr. Krabs: Wait a minute. This is all my fault. I shouldn't have talked me fry cook into doing this.
  • Baljeet: Why did I ever convinced Phineas to perform live on TV?
  • Private: And if I haven't told Skipper that we should do this tour.
  • Mort: We should be ashamed.
  • Patrick: I wish SpongeBob was here.
  • Baljeet: I want the real Phineas back.
  • Kowalski: Maurice, if only Skipper and King Julien would sort this out.
  • Maurice: Yeah, they'd know how to handle this.
  • Mr. Krabs: Yes.
  • Baljeet: There can only be a few people in the world who'll save us all.
  • Private: The only living souls to bring back lawfulness.
  • Mort: Yeah, set justice and hummus for all, and make all right again!
  • Patrick: You're talking about SpongeBob, Phineas, Skipper, and King Julien, aren't you?
  • Baljeet: Yes. Yes, we are.

Scene 41: Better Auditions

  • (Back at "O-M-POW," SpongeBob is directing a rehearsal, and all of the cyborg prisoners are rehearsing.)
  • SpongeBob: Okay, people. Let's start from the beginning. And a one, and a two, and a skiddley-diddley-doo!
  • (Song: When the Going Gets Tough)
  • Phonk: (beat-boxing)
  • Reynold: This task force is for losers.
  • Gunther: Excuse me.
  • Reynold: I've got the perfect plan.
  • Donald: Okay?
  • Reynold: Right now, the getting's good, so let's get out while we can.
  • Phonk: Uho Ow!
  • Reynold: Look lava's pretty hot.
  • Gunther: Okay.
  • Reynold: Let's give in our fears. Disaster's on its way that means we can't spend more time in here.
  • Phonk: Nope!
  • Reynold: You all know who I am!
  • Gunther: Excuse me?
  • Reynold: Evil genius, giant brain. You can't stop a volcano. I mean, are you all insane?
  • Donald: What? Whaaat?
  • Reynold: The ones who stay will all be vaporized without a doubt.
  • Reynold and Phonk: Before that sucker blows, we gotta get the fish out!
  • Cyborgs: Fish out, fish out, fish out.
  • (At Diver Sun, Phineas is conducting a Tubian orchestra. On stage, male Tubian prisoners dance, while beneath the stage, female Tubians dance their way in front of the stage.)
  • Male Tubians: Oh leggo.
  • Female Tubians: Oh leggo.
  • Male Tubians: And begone.
  • Female Tubians: And begone.
  • Male Tubians: Oh leggo.
  • Female Tubians: Oh leggo.
  • Male Tubians: And begone.
  • Female Tubians: And begone.
  • Male Tubians: Oh leggo.
  • Female Tubians: Oh leggo.
  • Male Tubians: And begone.
  • Female Tubians: And begone.
  • Male Tubians: Oh leggo.
  • Female Tubians: Oh leggo.
  • Male Tubians: And we gone.
  • Female Tubians: And we gone.
  • Male Tubians: 'Cause when the going gets tough.
  • Female Tubians: When the going gets tough.
  • Male Tubians: That means it's time to get lost.
  • Female Tubians: That means it's time to get lost.
  • Male Tubians: 'Cause when the going gets tough.
  • Female Tubians: When the going gets tough.
  • Male Tubians: That means it's time to get lost.
  • Female Tubians: That means it's time to get lost.
  • Male Tubians: 'So, leggo, and begone.
  • All Tubians: Let's begone.
  • (Back at O-M-POW, a cyborg prisoner opens a little door on the steel maximum security holding cell, and out comes the voice of a prisoner.)
  • Prisoner: Hold on, Plankton, I am simply shocked. Bikini Bottom is our home. I can't believe you talk about. Just walking out, let's figure out a way to stay, today, tomorrow. I feel sorrow. I feel fear. But I'm not leaving here. Who's with me?
  • (At Darby Way Behind Ya!, Skipper is choreographing his play to the Keppy prisoners.)
  • Gensui: The simple sponge is talking. Fascinating. Do go on. The fry cook has a plan. Good luck with that 'cause I'll be gone. You don't just wait around. While you're under attack. No, you...
  • Shellfishness: Run like crazy.
  • Gensui: Out the back.
  • Both: You got one day left, go home and pack.
  • Male Keppys: Oh leggo.
  • Female Keppys: Oh leggo.
  • Male Keppys: And begone.
  • Female Keppys: And begone.
  • Male Keppys: Oh leggo.
  • Female Keppys: Oh leggo.
  • Male Keppys: And begone.
  • Female Keppys: And begone.
  • Male Keppys: Oh leggo.
  • Female Keppys: Oh leggo.
  • Male Keppys: And begone.
  • Female Keppys: And begone.
  • Male Keppys: Oh leggo.
  • Female Keppys: Oh leggo.
  • Male Keppys: And we gone.
  • Female Keppys: And we gone.
  • (On The RogueRuff Girls, King Julien is choreographing his fellow convicts for his revue show.)
  • Rex and Men: 'Cause when the going gets tough.
  • Queenie and Women: When the going gets tough.
  • Rex and Men: That means it's time to get lost.
  • Queenie and Women: That means it's time to get lost.
  • Rex and Men: 'Cause when the going gets tough.
  • Queenie and Women: When the going gets tough.
  • Rex and Men: That means it's time to get lost.
  • Queenie and Women: That means it's time to get lost.
  • Rex and Men: 'So, leggo, and begone.
  • All: Let's begone.
  • (Furry Thumbkins enters the stage.)
  • Furry Thumbkins: Hold on! This is another one of your schemes! You've got something up your sleeve.
  • Rex: I'm a one-celled organism. I don't even have sleeves.
  • Queenie and other prisoners: Ohhhh!
  • (Back at O-M-POW...)
  • SpongeBob: Okay.
  • Male Cyborgs: Oh leggo.
  • Female Cyborgs: Oh leggo.
  • Male Cyborgs: And begone.
  • Female Cyborgs: And begone.
  • Male Cyborgs: Oh leggo.
  • Female Cyborgs: Oh leggo.
  • Male Cyborgs: And begone.
  • Female Cyborgs: And begone.
  • (Back at Diver Sun...)
  • Male Tubians: Oh leggo.
  • Female Tubians: Oh leggo.
  • Phineas: All right!
  • Male Tubians: And begone.
  • Female Tubians: And begone.
  • Male Tubians: Oh leggo.
  • Female Tubians: Oh leggo.
  • Male Tubians: And we gone.
  • Female Tubians: And we gone.
  • Male Keppys: 'Cause when the going gets tough.
  • Female Keppys: When the going gets tough.
  • Skipper: Good job, men. Good job!
  • Male Keppys: That means it's time to get lost.
  • Female Keppys: That means it's time to get lost.
  • (Back on The RogueRuff Girls...)
  • Rex and Men: 'Cause when the going gets tough.
  • King Julien: Great work, my peeps! Let's go! Once more with feeling!
  • Queenie and Women: When the going gets tough.
  • Rex and Men: That means it's time to get lost.
  • Queenie and Women: That means it's time to get lost.
  • Rex and Men: 'So, leggo, and begone.
  • All Prisoners: Let's begone.
  • (The villains stop dancing. Meduce, who is watching the rehearsal, gets up from her seat.)
  • Meduce: (in operatic voice) When the going gets tough, that means it's time to get lost. When the going gets tough, that means it's get.... (inhales) ...lost!
  • (Meduce sings in a high note, that various glass objects break, including ZIR's mirror, Queenie's beverage, Rex's sunglasses, and even a monster's complete set of sharp teeth.)
  • King Julien: Meduce, I'm thinking that maybe we might want to keep this production strictly an all-prisoner cast.
  • Meduce: Right. Sorry about that. I just happen to have a liking to vaudeville. But, I guess you're right, as always.
  • King Julien: Sure thing. Thanks. Anyhoo, my peeps. let's see who made it. Humongous Fishy Monster, Head Guy...
  • (Meduce goes to her cell, which is full of King Julien merchandise (dolls, books, photographs, etc.) She takes out a King Julien photograph.)
  • Meduce: You really are right, your royal prosimian higness. I won't let you out of my life. (She kisses the photo of King Julien.)

Scene 42: Hey, Where's Perry?

  • (Back at the train, Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve are playing cards around a table. Magic Steve is looking at the other three's cards.)
  • Danvers: You got any elevens?
  • Pompeii: Go fish.
  • (Ivan enters.)
  • Ivan: What's the matter? You four only play card games when feeling frustrated.
  • Hamabra: The starfish, the cheapskate, and the shell cat were very nosy.
  • Danvers: And so did the little boy and the beaver-bird.
  • Pompeii: Also aware of our whereabouts are the flightless featherheads, the old possum, the baby squirrel, the bug, and the mongoose. They've all escaped our clutches.
  • Magic Steve: And as for Candiyam, who has found out about our evil ways also, we are no longer having her play along with our charade. Instead, we are confiscating her for the remainder of this tour.
  • Ivan: How will we interpret this to the others?
  • (On channel 500, at a recording studio, Ivan, Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve are giving bad news to the Channel Chasers.)
  • Hamabra: Well, my friends, we've got terrible news to tell. Eight of us have left us. Patrick, Mr. Krabs...
  • Danvers: Candace, Baljeet...
  • Pompeii: Private, Kowalski...
  • Magic Steve: Mort, and Maurice.
  • All: (gasp)
  • Larry: Hold it! Did they really leave us?
  • Buford: Baljeet left us? He just joined the Channel Chasers when Phineas first made that magical remote control.
  • Marlene: We've spent one entire day through that.
  • Fred the Giant Scorpion: So true. Although at the rate of some of us who didn't go on that adventure. Well, let's go, Django.
  • Django: (sighs) Wait for me.
  • Hamabra: You know what they say. We must get on with the program and stick to it in a favorable manner.
  • Clover: But, Maurice and Mort are among us. We can't just take them for granted, can we?
  • Magic Steve: I know it's rough, Clover. Momo was my best friend.
  • Hamabra: Patrick and I, without a doubt, have gone way back.
  • Isabella: Phineas, are you really all right?
  • Danvers: Yes. Yes, I am. You are my love. You are my life. You are my everything.
  • Isabella: (sighs romantically)
  • Ivan: Come on, guys. We can't just sit here. This should be brilliant.
  • Pompeii: That's right. What you want is what you get.
  • (The group scatters in different directions to do their thing.)
  • Larry: I'll remember that.
  • Irving: Hey, where's Perry?
  • Squidward: Hey, where's Gary?
  • Irving: I just said that.
  • Marlene: Um, Rico?
  • Pancho: Mort?
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: First my beloved daughter, and now my nemesis? (in sinister tone) Bonus. (He charges into the TV and jumps inside.)
  • Buford: Hey, where's my canoe?

Scene 43: The Ultimate Channel Chase

  • (Back at the TV Universe, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, Gary, Baljeet, Perry, Kowalski, Rico, Private, Maurice, Mort, Chauncey, and Karl are flying through the channels, and Dr. Doofenshmirtz is on to them. The next channel they go into is Channel 550 where playing right now is "The Amazing School Bus", a parody of "The Magic School Bus" and its successor "The Magic School Bus Rides Again." They land inside an elementary school, scattered in different spots. Patrick, Mr. Krabs, Gary, Chauncey are inside a tank which is home to an iguana. Baljeet is standing in the classroom, while Perry, the penguins, lemurs, and Karl are outside.)
  • Patrick: Oh no. We're in another giant glass bowl with a giant iguana artificially colorful rocks, which are quite delicious actually. (He grabs a handful of artificially colored rocks and eats.)
  • Mr. Krabs: No, you barnacle head. We are not in Shell City. We're still in television.
  • Chauncey: (reads TV guide)
  • Patrick: Um, what did he say?
  • Mr. Krabs: He's saying we're in the world of "The Amazing School Bus."
  • Baljeet: (approaches the tank) That's right. In this show, a teacher takes her class to so many exciting locations, using a school bus like no other.
  • Mrs. Drizzle: Class, we have a new student here with us. Tell the class a little bit about yourself.
  • Baljeet: Um, my name is Baljeet. I am currently on summer...
  • Aaron: (Raises his hand) I have no idea you are an animal enthusiast.
  • Baljeet: Actually, I am part of a group called The Channel Chasers. We travel around the TV Universe and appear on many different TV shows.
  • Mrs. Drizzle: I believe this calls for a field trip.
  • Children: Yeah!
  • (Cut back outside, where Perry, the penguins, the lemurs, and Karl are hiding behind the bushes, waiting for the children and Mrs. Drizzle to come inside so they can do the same.)
  • Private: Look, children.
  • Kowalski: Looks like they're going on another field trip.
  • Private: They're not going to the zoo today, are they?
  • Kowalski: Why do you ask?
  • Private: If we go to the zoo with them, our mission to find Skipper will be over, and I won't visit the Lunacorns.
  • Maurice: Don't you remember? We already are on television.
  • Private: Oh.
  • (The bus door closes, and it takes off just as the animals are about to run for the bus.)
  • Mort: Aw, we miss the bus.
  • Karl: How are we going to follow that bus now?
  • Private: Kowalski, options?
  • (They look at the back of the leaving bus.)
  • Kowalski: I've got an idea.
  • (They are now sitting on the roof of the bus. Perry looks down to find Baljeet, but all he sees below are grass, sidewalks, and the road. Baljeet is actually inside the bus. He is sitting next to Aaron.)
  • Aaron: Why are you bringing our class pets to our field trip to the television station?
  • Baljeet: Oh. Actually, I met them inside the TV Universe, who coincidentally have gone inside television. The starfish is Patrick, the crab is Mr. Krabs, the sea snail is Gary, and the cockroach, who apparently crawled inside, is named Chauncey. At this moment, we are on our way to find my other friend, Phineas. He's a kid like me.
  • Aaron: Aren't we going to the television station?
  • (The bus stops to see that the gates to the television station are locked.)
  • Mrs. Drizzle: We are. It's just that it's closed today. I guess we're just gonna have to go back to school.
  • Children: Aw.
  • (On top of the bus, Agent P, the penguins, Maurice, Mort, and Karl climb down from the bus stop, and sneak past the gates. As soon as the bus left, the penguins hop up through the gates and jump straight down. The mammals squeeze their ways through the bars. Although Maurice doesn't seem to get past through, and Mort is supposed to go after Maurice.)
  • Maurice: Hey, I'm stuck.
  • Mort: Maybe I can help. (He jumps as he pushes Maurice all the way through the bars, and when he pushes even harder, Maurice eventually squeezes his way through the gate, as Mort accidentally trips along with him as they collapse on the penguins like bowling pins. They get up off the floor.)
  • Maurice: What?
  • Karl: You really can fit your way through that gate.
  • Maurice: I guess I did.
  • Karl: You're an idiot.
  • Maurice: I have feelings, you know.
  • (They enter inside the television station, searching for Skipper and King Julien. searching through the various television sets playing some TV parodies.)
  • Kowalski: Julien?
  • Maurice: Your majesty?
  • Private: Julien?
  • Mort: Feet?
  • Private: Where do you think Skipper should be?
  • Kowalski: From the looks of these television networks, I'd say that none of these networks are currently airing channel 598.
  • Maurice: And none of the TVs are tuned into channel 599.
  • Karl: Where are we now?
  • Kowalski: (reads the TV guide) We are on channel 550.
  • Private: And Skipper is on channel 598.
  • Mort: Wait! Aren't we supposed to be finding my King Julien who is on channel 599?
  • Karl: We are looking for King Julien.
  • Private: So, what should we do?
  • Kowalski: I'd say we should go through the different channels one by one until we find Skipper on a "Darby Way Behind Ya!" special guest starring Skipper.
  • Maurice: We have to find them before it starts in a couple of hours.
  • Private: Come on, men. We have to find Skipper and King Julien. (He leads the others as he jumps to the next channel.)
  • (Back on the bus with Baljeet, Aaron, and Mrs. Drizzle...)
  • Baljeet: And you said this would be a fun field trip. Look. I am on my way to channel 597, where they have taken my friend Phineas, who could be in trouble right about now.
  • Aaron: Mrs. Drizzle?
  • Mrs. Drizzle: Yes?
  • Aaron: Do you think you can take us somewhere else?
  • Mrs. Drizzle: Like a different television station?
  • Aaron: Maybe. But, I'm talking about the real thing.
  • Mrs. Drizzle: Ah, why didn't you say so? Hang on tight, children. We're going into an alternate universe.
  • (She pulls a lever, which turns the school bus into a portal jet. A truck with a television set at the back drives by, and the school bus goes inside the television, magically, not breaking it.)
  • (The next TV show is "Pokerib," which is a parody of "Popeye." The schoolbus lands on the water as it shapeshifts into a tugboat. Another boat sails in.)
  • Baljeet: Hey. We're on the high seas.
  • Aaron: Where are we, Mrs. Drizzle?
  • Mrs. Frizzle: We're on channel 551. This is the home of Pokerib the Sailor.
  • Baljeet: I was going to say that. But since you're the teacher, I'll let you be the guide on this field trip. At least it couldn't get worse here than in that train, huh Mr. Krabs?
  • (He looks at the empty tank.)
  • Baljeet: Mr. Krabs? Patrick? Gary? Chauncey?
  • (On a yacht called The S.S. Brussels Sprouter, Mr. Krabs, Gary, Patrick, and Chauncey are wearing sailors' clothing.)
  • Patrick: I can't believe you let us swim all the way up to this boat to look for my best friend.
  • Mr. Krabs: Oh, Patrick, can't you smell that fresh sea air.
  • Patrick: Mr. Krabs, do you think we can ask anybody on this boat if they know where the nearest TV is?
  • Mr. Krabs: (sighs) Fine. I'll go find someone on board.
  • Patrick: Good. I'll go find the buffet.
  • (The two separate each other.)
  • Mr. Krabs: Gary, you're coming with me in case I look for money.
  • Gary: Meow.
  • Chauncey: (squeaking)
  • Patrick: Chauncey, you want to to know if they have a waste matter station at the buffet, don't you?
  • Chauncey: (squeaking)
  • Patrick: Well, I'll take that as a yes.
  • (Mr. Krabs carries Gary around like a metal detector to search for either the nearest television set, or any currency. They approach a sailor, who opens up a can of brussel sprouts. He shakes the can, and out pop the brussel sprouts from the can, and into his mouth. He raises his fists as his arms pump up huge humps that pop up and down.)
  • Mr. Krabs: He's pretty strong. Excuse me, Pokerib the Sailor, am I right?
  • Pokerib: Yeah?
  • Mr. Krabs: Do you know where I could find the nearest television set on this boat?
  • Pokerib: Do you know where I could find the way in to the way out?
  • Mr. Krabs: That's not an answer. I am finding a television set so that I can be on "O-M-POW." SpongeBob is being held captive on the show, so do you know where I can find one?
  • (Pokerib is confused.)
  • (Outside the boat, Karl, Maurice, and Mort are sailing on a canoe.)
  • Karl: It is a lucky break for that furry oaf to be taking a canoe which originally belonged to a young human bully.
  • Maurice: Mort, why would you steal somebody's canoe?
  • Mort: What can I say? There's more to television than you know. Say, I wonder where those penguins are.
  • Karl: I would like to know the same thing for Chauncey.
  • (Kowalski, Private, and Rico porpoise out of the water to catch up with all three boats.)
  • Private: Kowalski, three questions.
  • Kowalski: Lay it on me, Private.
  • Private: Are we in the world of Pokerib?
  • Rico: Uh-huh.
  • Private: How come we don't have a boat of our own?
  • Kowalski: We penguins are shaped for swimming when we look for fish.
  • Rico: (musically) Fiiiiiiiish!
  • Private: How are we ever gonna find a television out here?
  • Kowalski: I have no idea.
  • Rico: I dunno.
  • (Meanwhile, Agent P is driving another yacht through the water. He catches up to the boats and the penguins.)
  • Private: Look! Men! A boat! Maybe a TV set could be there!
  • (The penguins swim up to Perry's yacht and jump up aboard.)
  • Kowalski: I don't see a television set, but I do see a certain platypus stearing the boat.
  • (Perry turns to the penguins. He lets out a chatter.)
  • Private: Perry, is that you?
  • (Perry nods.)
  • Kowalski: Are you sailing to a distant boat with a television set by chance?
  • (Perry nods.)
  • Private: Does anybody see another boat behind us?
  • (The four see a pirate boat sail behind them. A cannonball lands at the little yacht.)
  • Kowalski: You know, if Skipper weren't on "Darby Way Behind Ya," which in on channel 500, he would say, ENEMY ON THE PORT BOW!
  • (The penguins start panicking as Agent P takes out a telescope and sees Dr. Doofenshmirtz on the pirate ship.)
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Platypus on the port bow! (He notices the fedora on the platypus.) Perry the Platypus on the port bow?! He fires another cannon at the little yacht.)
  • Private: What do we do?
  • Kowalski: How should I know? I don't have the remote either!
  • (Agent P takes out the TV guide and the magical remote. He reads the TV guide, and then gets an idea. So, he takes out the remote, presses a button, and the little yacht disappears. Once its gone, another cannonball splashes into the water.)
  • (The next show is "Kooky Race", which is a "Wacky Races" parody. Black and white squares create a checkerboard graphic which change colors as a race car drive to the screen. Cut to the various vehicles that'll be attending the race in various lines. Then, the "Kooky Races" logo stretches into a race car. The race car belongs to Karl, Maurice, and Mort. It is driving in an American countryside. Other racecars on the countryside include one made of a boulder, driven by 60's style hippie cavemen, a buggy with a haunted house on top, driven by a Dr. Jekyll Hyde-style person and a large monster, a stunt plane, driven by a daredevil wearing yellow, a fancy girly vehicle driven by Hillary Hillstop, an oldsmobile driven by six little men, a wooden coal-powered car driven by a farmer and a horse, another wooden car driven by a hillbilly and a squirrel, the S.S. BrusselSprout, the Amazing Schoolbus, and an army tank driven by the penguins and Perry.)
  • Race Announcer: Introducing the Kooky Racers, out on the open road on their next lap of the kooky race of the day, which by a coincidence takes them on a criss-cross cross country race to Aschville, North Carolina. And in the lead, as always, is the sinister Doof Despicable, leaving no pillow unturned to take an upper hand.
  • (Dr. Doofenshmirtz is driving a black-colored rocket-powered race vehicle. He presses a button as he sees behind him the hippie cavemen's car. The vehicle releases a mallet which smashes the cavemen's car into smithereens. The hippie cavemen look at each other. However, the stones form back to how it was, a vehicle. The cavemen continue their drive.)
  • Race Announcer: At the lead is Car A1, driven by the Slop Brothers. In second place is Car B2, The Ghoul duel, setting the Macabre Motor into maximum speed.
  • (The little Jekyll figure pushes a lever, leting the car to drive faster.)
  • (The next race behind the car is the Yellow Fellow on his stunt plane.)
  • Race Announcer: In third place is Car 4D, the Yellow Fellow in his Golden Strawmaker, is ready for his takeoff.
  • (The Golden Strawmaker lifts off the ground, and into the skies and flies above the previous two cars and laughs triumpantly, until he crashes into a lake.)
  • (The Amazing Schoolbus, driven by Mrs. Drizzle, and with her are her classmates and Baljeet, is behind the previous cars. Behind the schoolbus is the army tank, driven by Agent P, and the penguins.)
  • Race Announcer: Coming up behind them are Car 3C, The Amazing Schoolbus, in front of Car F6, the Soldier Residue Surprise, driven by a platypus in a fedora, and some penguins.
  • (Behind these cars is the coal-powered car driven by a farmer and a horse, Karl's racecar, and Hillary Hillstop's racecar.)
  • Race Announcer: And behind them is Car H8, The Alabama Huff-and-Puff, driven by Weary Will and Harley Horse, and Car I9, the Karlmobile, driven by Karl, and Car E5, the Prissy Kitty, driven by Hillary Hillstop. And behind them all in the rear is car G7, the Durable Dynamite, driven by the Beehive Brothers.
  • (The Durable Dynamite is the Beehive Brothers' oldsmobile. They drive past an unsuspected large yacht with Mr. Krabs, Pokerib, Gary, Patrick, and Chauncey on board. The latter two are eating krabby patties and waste matter.)
  • Beehive Brother #1: All right, guys. Let's show them just what this car can really do.
  • Beehive Brother #2: But, boss, my toenails are carving my toes.
  • Beehive Brother #1: (growls menacingly)
  • Beehive Brother #2: Whatever you say, boss!
  • (The beehive brothers in the backseat smash their feet to the dirt road. They start running up to the other cars carrying the Durable Dynamite with them.)
  • Patrick: Who are they?
  • Mr. Krabs: Beats me.
  • Pokerib: Where are we?
  • (Chauncey looks through the TV guide. He squeaks a bit.)
  • Mr. Krabs: He's saying that we're on channel 552.
  • Patrick: If we're on a boat that crashed into countryside, do you think that we're part of the race?
  • Mr. Krabs: Patrick, say that again.
  • Patrick: That again.
  • Mr. Krabs: No, what you said before.
  • Patrick: No, what you said before.
  • Mr. Krabs: Forget it. I have a plan.
  • Patrick: Forget it. I have a plan. Wait, forget what?
  • (From a tree, Dr. Doofenshmirtz watches the race.)
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Well, well, well, looks like I've got myself a new potential winner. I'm gonna defeat everybody else as soon as I drive past it. First, I will bury some dynamite along and underground system for each lap. And when one of the racers happens to drive by, kaboom! I will win the race for sure.
  • (He uses a shovel to dig a hole on the road, and places some lit sticks of dynamite in. He buries it with some dirt and steps back. He sees the Soldier Residue Surprise, the Macrabe Mobile, and the Wheelmobile driving by.)
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Here they come!
  • (The cars drive through where Dr. Doofenshmirtz buried the dynamite, with out an explosion.)
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Wait a minute. What seems to be the mixup?
  • (He looks down to see the string attached to the dynamite was cut. He picks up half the string, which wasn't lit, and looks down again to see that the other half is lit still!)
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Oh, shmirtz.
  • (The dynamite exploded on Dr. Doofenshmirtz, leaving him blackend and a hole on the road.)
  • (The Amazing Schoolbus drives by.)
  • Baljeet: Mrs. Drizzle, look!
  • (The schoolbus stops at the hole and the blackened pharmacist.)
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Well, what do you know? On the bright side, at least one of the racers stopped.
  • (Suddenly, the Amazing Schoolbus shifts into a helicoptor, hovering over the hole.)
  • (Cut back to the Karlmobile, the Alabama Huff-and-Puff, and the Soldier Residue Surprise.)
  • Race Announcer: In the lead now is the Karlmobile. In second is the Alabama Huff-and-Puff.
  • (Harley Horse manages to take out a helium gas tank, and start using it on the Alabama Huff-and-Puff, making it go faster, and eventually take the lead.)
  • Race Announcer: Which is now taking the lead, but now taking the lead is the Soldier Residue Surprise.
  • (Inside the Soldier Residue Surprise, Perry looks through the periscope, seeing if there are any cars behind or in front of them, or not. He spots a helicopter shifting back to the Amazing Schoolbus in front of them.)
  • Race Announcer: But now, the Amazing Schoolbus is in first place now.
  • (Back with the Durable Dynamyte...)
  • Beehive Brother #3: Look, boss. I see a mountain.
  • Beehive Brother #1: Perfect. Would you boys find a good place to hide the car? I have the perfect disguise.
  • (The Beehive Brothers hide their car behind a bush, and put on elf gear.)
  • Beehive Brother #1: Someone's coming. Act Christmasy.
  • (The car is the Prissy Kitty.)
  • Hillary Hillstop: Oh, my. I think I'm lost. Excuse me, are you Santa's elves?
  • Beehive Brother #1: Yes, we are.
  • Hillary Hillstop: Well, I got lost. I don't reckon you jolly little darlings know where I could find my next exit?
  • Beehive Brother #1: Of course. I reckon you go straight to your right, next exit's one mile away, then take another right, and then left, and left again, and you're there.
  • Hillary Hillstop: Oh, how can I ever thank y'all? (She drives off.) And say hello to Santa Claus, would y'all?
  • Beehive Brother #1: We will.
  • Beehive Brother #4: She's going to win now.
  • Beehive Brother #1: Well, if she'll go where I told her to, she will end up on spikes. Now, get back in the Durable Dynamite!
  • (Just then, another vehicle drives by.)
  • Beehive Brother #1: Wait. Someone else is coming.
  • (The car is Dr. Doofenshmirtz' vehicle.)
  • Beehive Brother #1: We're Santa's elves. How can we help you?
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I'm lost. Can you show me where I could find the other racers?
  • Beehive Brother #1: Go straight up to the mountain.
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Thank you.
  • (Dr. Doofenshmirtz drives straight up to the mountain.)
  • Beehive Brother #1: I sure hope this works.
  • (Up the mountain, he starts to freeze. Icicles begin to form on his nose.)
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: (shivering)
  • (Soaring above them is the Amazing Schoolbus in helicopter form.)
  • (Cut back to the Soldier Residue Surprise, where Perry is looking through his periscope, seeing the different racers driving around a desert.)
  • Race Announcer: Back at the race, we have a problem. The kooky racers are lost and couldn't find a way to get out of a desert.
  • (Dr. Doofenshmirtz walks up to a sign which says "Endless Desert."
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Just as I planned. I made some changes to the what used to be the Trendless Desert, and cruelly removed the "TR".
  • (He shows the letter T and the letter R, and the rest of the letters fall off, except for the first three.)
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: And when I find the Soldier Residue Surprise, I will find that platypus, and...
  • (Suddenly, the cars trample on Dr. Doofenshmirtz, leaving him flat.)
  • (Back at the race, Pokerib's boat is still on the path to the finish line.)
  • Race Announcer: Well, what do you know? What a coincidence that a new contender the S.S. Pokerib is taking the lead.
  • Mr. Krabs: How's about a victory cheer.
  • Pokerib: You said it.
  • (Mr. Krabs and Pokerib raise cans of brussel sprouts and spill some of the said vegetable into their mouths. They start growing humps on their arms, and they both share a hearty laugh. Suddenly, they feel like it has stopped.)
  • Mr. Krabs: Land ho!
  • Race Announcer: It seems like the S.S. BrusselsSprouts has hit a bumpy road.
  • (Patrick opens Gary's shell and takes out a large bag of water. He opens the bag and out comes water, making the S.S. BrusselsSprouts float.)
  • Patrick: Yup! We're going to win for sure.
  • (They see all the other cars drive past the boat through water.)
  • Race Announcer: Tough break for the S.S. BrusselsSprout. And as we take a look at the last few miles of the race, we see that the Macabre Motor is winning, as the Ghoul duel has taken Harley Horse from the Alabama Huff-and-Puff!
  • (Harley Horse is pulling the Macabre Motor by trotting.)
  • Race Announcer: And racing behind the Macabre Motor is the Soldier Residue Surprise.
  • (Inside the Soldier Residue Surprise...)
  • Private: Rico, fire some dynamite and throw it at the Macabre Motor!
  • Rico: Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah! (He barfs up some dynamite, and tosses it up to a hole, releasing it from the vehicle and into the haunted house on top of the Macabre Motor. A tyrannosaurs rex pops its head out of the haunted house and bites the periscope. Perry becomes scared that the dinosaur might eat up the Solider Residue Surprise. He flails his arms at the penguins.)
  • (Cut back to the Karlmobile.)
  • Race Announcer: And now it is the Karlmobile winning this race at full lightning speed!
  • (The Amazing Schoolbus has formed into a roller-coaster.)
  • Race Announcer: But it is the Amazing Schoolbus now in the lead!
  • (Cut to a broken bridge...)
  • Race Announcer: They're almost at the finish line in Aschville, NC. But wait. Up ahead is a collapsed bridge. Which means that nobody is going to cross through anymore, and there will be no winner!
  • (Dr. Doofenshmirtz, however, is on the other side of the collapsed bridge.)
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I wouldn't say no winner, really.
  • (He sees all the other competitors fall down the collapsed bridge.)
  • (Down below, two movers carry a giant TV screen into a truck. The racers all fall down into the television.)
  • Mover #1: Did you just see some cars crashing into the television?
  • Mover #2: Aren't they a little too big to be doing that?
  • (The racecars fall into the world of "Custy Bear," a spoof of Hanna-Barbera's anthropomorphic animal characters. They land on a large wooden boat.)
  • Mort: What happened to the canoe?
  • (The canoe lands on Dr. Doofenshmirtz again.)
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Ow! Why does this keep happening?
  • (The boat sets off.)
  • Baljeet: Listen, guys, I'm not doing a callback or anything but does anybody other than me know that we all fell down a collapsed bridge leading to a TV set taking us inside this large boat taking us I... DON'T... KNOW... WHERE?!
  • (Baljeet's screaming attracts some anthropomorphic animals.)
  • Private: Um, 'ello. Does anybody know where this boat is sailing to?
  • Custy: We're being put in jail.
  • All: What?
  • Mort: Those tacky races has put us down to sea.
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Listen, you bug-eyed vermin, if you didn't take Perry the Platypus with you knowing the horrible truth all along, we may have not ended up in here now. Would we?
  • Mort: You know how much I love King Julien's feet? Like you'd ever find out what my love for my feet is for?!
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: No.
  • (Karl approaches.)
  • Karl: Look. As you love all situations revolving around Julien whom you love just for his feet...
  • Mort: What? Okay, I admit it! I love my king just for his feet ever since he fought off the fossa. All I ever loved about him was his wonderful feet, with his five precious toes, one of which looks like a thumb, and his... big heal! (bawling)
  • Chauncey: (squeaking)
  • Karl: Yes, not besides Chauncey. He's great for an insect. The truth is... we're in deep doom, and so is that King Julien.
  • (At the TV Universe, Agent P sees the boat sail off from inside a cube. He presses a remote to go inside the cube. He lands on the channel, follows the boat, and hops on board.)
  • (Back inside, Mr. Krabs, Patrick, Gary, Pokerib, Baljeet, Mrs. Drizzle, her classmates, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, Private, Kowalski, Rico, Maurice, Mort, Karl, Chauncey, the Slop Brothers, the Ghoul duel, Weary Will, Harley Horse, Hillary Hillstop and the Beehive Brothers all try to find a way to get out of the boat.)
  • Hillary Hillstop: That's no fair.
  • Beehive Brother #1: Once we leave this joint, I want to start a riot. Does anyone want to join me?
  • Baljeet: I do!
  • Beehive Brother #1: Anybody?
  • Baljeet: Me!
  • Beehive Brother #1: Take your time. Nobody rush me.
  • Baljeet: I do!
  • Private: Perhaps our new friends here could help us find a way out of here. (He waddles up to the anthropormophic animals.) 'Ello. It's me, Private. We're not here to hurt you.
  • Custy: Oh, we don't mind getting hurt. We get hurt on ocassion. We get hurt by breaking flowerpots, shattered glass, falling trees, collapsing houses, car crashes, heavy anvils, light anvils, falling down the lake, thunder, lightning, sea monsters, crabs...
  • (Outside the boat, Perry is hitching a ride.)
  • Custy: ...falling pianos, the Sun, fire, scissors, butterknives, forks, china plates, Chinese plates...
  • (Rico opens upa floorboard, showing some wiring.)
  • Kowalski: Excellent, Rico. If we cut off some wires, maybe this boat will stop.
  • (Outside, Perry is still on board as he sees a human steering the boat. He hears his watch beep. He tries to muffle it as if he doesn't want to be captured.)
  • Major Monogram: Agent P, I forgot to mention that you should never ever interact with any of the locals in the TV universe at any cost. It may violate you for a lot of deals.
  • (But Agent P didn't listen. Back inside the boat, the group inside hear swerving, as they start to tremble.)
  • Patrick: Hang on, everyone!
  • (Outside, Agent P is fighting off the cops and ignoring Major Mongram's advice.)
  • Major Monogram: Any kind of interaction with them can sort of be calm and pleasant. But please, don't try to move agressively or make sarcasm that's rather disturbing. Plus, do not try to harm any of the locals' propery. Huh. That kind of stuff costs a lot of money. And their agencies sure can pin it on you. Show the flora and the fauna some love and remember to preserve them. And most importantly, do not be agressive while you're there. Your kind of language moves me, so remember, show them some finesse.
  • (The human crew lands into the lake.)
  • Human Captain: Okay. I'm glad we're all right.
  • (Suddenly, the Alaskan Bull Worm pops out of the water.)
  • Human Captain: Or maybe not immediately.
  • (The Alaskan Bull Worm eats the humans up and swallow them whole.)
  • Human Captain: Yeah. Probably not right away.
  • (Back with Agent P, he takes up the helm.)
  • Major Monogram: The point is, Agent P, I hope you have gotten this very clear by now. So, good luck.
  • (Perry stops the boat.)
  • (Back inside the boat...)
  • Private: Sounds like we've stopped.
  • Hillary Hillstop: Whatever happened must have worked, I reckon.
  • (The doors open, and the group walk out the doors.)
  • Mrs. Drizzle: How unusual. I don't see any guards around.
  • (The anthropomorphic animals stampede past the gang.)
  • Custy: The guards are coming back here real soon. This way.
  • (The group follows the anthropomophic animals. They travel through Limarock National Park.)
  • Custy: At last. We made it to the safest place for us. This is the secret boat of Limarock Park.
  • (He shows them a rather larger boat.)
  • Beehive Brother #1: That is a secret boat?
  • Patrick: You know, you really outdo yourself with this.
  • Custy: These doors are only the entrance to...
  • Cabagrape Cat: Custy, that's what happens when you bring anybody to this boat. The feelings rush through fast.
  • Custy: You're right. Follow me.
  • (Inside, they approach an indoor pool with a boat within a boat.)
  • Custy: Everybody, hop in.
  • (They hop on board. The boat goes through the water.)
  • Custy: This is my famous flying cruiseship.
  • (They see monuments of the anthropomorphic animal characters, including Custy himself.)
  • Patrick: Your home is in these monuments?
  • Custy: No. We made these statues. Our paradise is up ahead.
  • (The group makes it to his "paradise.")
  • Casey: Welcome aboard to Custy's famous flying ark.
  • Custy: Seriously, Casey? (sighs) Make yourselves comfortable.
  • (An anthropomorphic dog and cat appear.)
  • Arf: Look who it is!
  • Artie: It's Custy Bear, and the whole gang!
  • Arf: And they've escaped from the Dark One.
  • Artie: What happened to you?
  • Arf: Were you afraid?
  • Artie: Did you act like an installation?
  • Custy: No, Arf and Artie, I wasn't afraid, nor was I standing still. But I must say that Nigel Noceros is a fine example of humanities.
  • (Nigel Noceros, who is an anthropomorphic rhinoceros, is face-painted to look like Picasso's art.)
  • Nigel: Thanks, guys.
  • Custy: These new guys here helped made our escape.
  • Arf: Thanks for rescuing the residents of this fair boat.
  • Artie: Feel free to stay with us as long as you want.
  • Patrick: Thanks, but we're actually more worried about SpongeBob, Phineas, Skipper, and King Julien.
  • Private: Yeah, and we need a way to find them on channel 599.
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: And I, on the other hand, am looking for my daughter, Vanessa.
  • Mrs. Drizzle: And we need to find our respective shows.
  • Beehive Brothers: Yeah!
  • Mort: Hey. What are characters from different shows doing here?
  • Arf: We wish we'd help you, but we cannot.
  • Custy: We're on the run.
  • Mrs. Drizzle: Funny about that.
  • Pokerib: So are we.
  • Mort: I was right. Anybody got some coffee. I've got something I have to...
  • Mrs. Drizzle: I just happened to brought my coffee along with me for our televised field trip.
  • Hillary Hillstop: You're taking a field trip?
  • Baljeet: Mrs. Drizzle, I told you. This is the middle of summer.
  • (Mrs. Drizzle pours some coffee into a cup, and gives it to Mort. He drinks it, and starts to feel jittery.)
  • Mort: Uh-oh.
  • Patrick: What's wrong with him?
  • Maurice: Whenever Mort drinks coffee, that can only mean one thing.
  • (Mort is now sporting a monicle.)
  • Maurice: He becomes Smart Mort.
  • Smart Mort: I'm beginning to believe that you do not seem to understand the secret aspects of the TV universe.
  • Kowalski: Could that be the reason why these guys followed us right here?
  • Smart Mort: Yes, quite right. You see, the TV universe's channels really aren't one-space traps for characters.
  • All: It isn't?
  • Smart Mort: No. The channels are actually dimensions to alternate universes, which bring characters from one show to another.
  • Private: Well, how does that work?
  • Smart Mort: I'm glad you asked, because I just happen to have somebody here who can explain it all. Custy?
  • Custy: Thank you. Now, we were once carefree and happy go lucky souls.
  • (Flashback...)
  • Custy: (voice-over) We used to sing, dance, and have family style fun 24/7. Until the very day four dastardly being arrived.
  • (Four hooded beings enter Limarock Park.)
  • Custy: (voice-over) And with them was a Super-Mega-Cheese-Stinky-Plant of Doom, which they'd dispersed on us all with brain-washing pores, thus making them lords of the TV Universe. They wanted us to start doing stupid and violent things, give them our properties for money, and perform TV shows for minimum cost for them.
  • (The four hooded figures laugh at the stupid and violent things the anthropomorphic animals do behind a fake Limarock Park set inside a TV studio. One hooded figure presses a button, causing the others to laugh in a drone voice.)
  • (As the Super-Mega-Cheese-Stinky-Plant-of-Doom wears out, the anthropmorphic animals start digging in service of the hooded figures.)
  • Custy: (voice-over) And once the plant wore out, we eventually became brainless, though we did realize there was but one thing to do.
  • (The anthropomorphic animals raise their shovels and pickaxes in a way they've never thought of before, unfortunately...)
  • Custy: We immediately surrendered. Unfortunately, some of us are their slaves. And just then, we found out that their shows have someone else special, who has the ultimate ability to help make their evil plant come to life again.
  • (End flashback.)
  • Baljeet: I wonder who.
  • (Back on the boat...)
  • Smart Mort: Everybody, we have travelled through the TV universe to save our friends, and we won't return home, or to our televised grand tour without them. If you truly show congeniality over King Julien, then will you please help us?
  • Arf: You don't get it, do you?
  • Artie: Yeah. The world is dangerous stage.
  • Arf: We just want to entertain people.
  • Artie: In our words, we only want to make them happy.
  • Smart Mort: Just because the world is a demonic and violent stage doesn't mean you have to be impaired. And if you could bring peace through the TV universe often, forthwith, you could mean prudent and moderate. Are you with me?
  • (After a brief moment of silence, the anthropomorphic animals, along with Mrs. Drizzle, her classmates, Pokerib, the kooky racers, and the Channel Chasers cheer and raise their fists.)
  • (Fade to Custy's boat flying in the TV universe.)
  • Patrick: Does anybody else feel like we've been into a spin cycle?
  • Baljeet: Look. (He points to four channel cubes above.) Could this be the channel we've been searching for?
  • (The channel read 596, 597, 598, and 599.)
  • Maurice: Yes.

Scene 44: The Proposal

  • (The scene changes to "Marvin and the Marmots" where we zoom the city at night to the theater. Inside, Hans and his family are performing onstage now, while Timo is behind the auto-tuner.)
  • Zombies: Hello world. Here's a song that we're singing. Come on, get happy. A whole lot of loving is what we'll be bringing. We'll make you happy.
  • (Detective Gizmo and Vanessa are in the audience watching the show too, seated at the Gizmo Roadster.)
  • (Meanwhile, backstage, Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve stand by a hole in the wall leading to a hall.)
  • Hamabra: No sign of Detective Gizmo or that teenage girl Danvers sent into television and is working for him. But perhaps this hole in the wall will lead us to them.
  • (They go through the hole and walk down the hallway, where Ivan is trying to unlock a door.)
  • Hamabra: So, you have the evidence to accuse the starfish, right?
  • Ivan: (He takes out a fake rock.) Right here.
  • Hamabra: Good.
  • Pompeii: Gosh. I don't see any guards around. Where are they?
  • Danvers: Not so fast. I still don't see Detective Gizmo or the goth girl. I think they're on to us.
  • Magic Steve: But, what we're really after is the pendant. We'll wait here and see if the guards show up.
  • (Back onstage, Marvin and the Marmots are ready to perform.)
  • Man: Ready, Marvin? Marvin? (Marvin is just standing there.) MARVIN!
  • Marvin: Okay!
  • (The Marmots start to sing, as the Trench Monsters from "The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie" and the Krusty Krab's nocturnal customers from The Tidal Zone come out to dance.)
  • Marmots: Christmastime is nigh tonight. It is time for toys and delight. We were kind, but we're uptight. Come quickly, Christmas tonight. Need a train that chugs around.
  • (Grandpa Snarf, and two more Snarfs are at the audiences too, and they are laughing uproariously. Vanessa hops out of the Gizmo Roadster.)
  • Vanessa: Stay right where you are. I'll go watch over the repository. (She leaves.)
  • Marvin: As for me, I want a clown.
  • (Suddenly, the dancing monsters started jackhammering the stage.)
  • Marmots: We just barely take the time, so please, come, Christmastime.
  • (Suddenly, the noisy jackhammers cause the door to Captain Terrence Corpseton's grave to burst open and fall down back at the repository. As the smoke clears up, they see a skeleton falling down on them, startling the bad guys. They see the skeleton holding the pendent.)
  • Ivan: There it is. Captain Corpeston's pendent.
  • Hamabra: Right. Grab the amulet.
  • Pompeii: The fun is just starting.
  • Magic Steve: In fact, we don't need to use up on a good fortune for this to work.
  • (He, Hamabra, Danvers, and Pompeii start laughing evilly.)
  • (Ivan was about to grab the amulet from Corpseton's hand, when suddenly, they hear a door open.)
  • Vanessa: Hello?
  • Hamabra: I hear somebody entering.
  • (Vanessa enters the repository.)
  • Vanessa: Is anybody here?
  • Danvers: That's too bad! The star says that who you're looking for has gave you enough misery, so now, we will displace him.
  • Pompeii: Abort! Dive! Dive! Dive!
  • (Ivan grabs the amulet and they run off as he tosses another calling card to Vanessa, who looks around and sees nothing.)
  • Vanessa: I see something. It's coming straight to the stage! (She leaves.)
  • (Back onstages, Sandy, Isabella, Marlene, and Clover are performing now. Sandy is on microphone. Clover is on drums. Isabella is on bass guitar. Marlene is on lead guitar.)
  • Sandy: That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive, carved my name into his leather seats...
  • (Ivan, Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve rush back towards the stage.)
  • Ivan: Whew. That was a close one.
  • Magic Steve: Maybe too close.
  • Hamabra: Let's move on to our third and last phase where we ask the ladies' hands in marriage.
  • Sandy: I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights, slashed a hole in all four tires...
  • (Hamabra, Magic Steve, Danvers, and Pompeii make their way to the stage, where Masikura approaches them.)
  • Masikura: King Julien, what are you doing? You're not allowed to go onstage. Sandy is performing right now.
  • (Magic Steve smacks Masikura into a wall, and he, Danvers, Pompeii, and Hamabra continue on their way.)
  • Sandy: Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.
  • (Vanessa hurries back to the Gizmo Roadster, where Detective Gizmo eats a sandwich.)
  • Vanessa: Did you see something?
  • Detective Gizmo: Nothing. I am having lunch.
  • (Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve enter the stage.)
  • Pompeii: (imitating Skipper) Attention, everyone! Make way for his royal majesty, King Julien!
  • (Magic Steve makes a grand entrance on a bed carried by Hamabra and Danvers.)
  • Magic Steve: (imitating King Julien) My peoples, I have a mega-exciting announcement to make! Down, boys.
  • (Hamabra and Danvers lower him He gets off the bed, as Clover gets off the drum set.)
  • Clover: Your majesty, what are you doing?
  • Sandy: Yeah, can't you see we're singing our song?
  • Isabella: That we are doing as part of a medley of...
  • Hamabra: (imitating SpongeBob) Sandy, we have come with a major question to ask you.
  • (The audience is watching, even viewers who are watching from the comforts of their homes in Bikini Bottom, Danville, New York, and Madagascar.)
  • Hamabra: (gets down on his knews with a ring on his hand) Would you like to be Mrs. Cheeks, or moreover Mrs. SquarePants?
  • (In the wings, some of SpongeBob's friends are watching with anxiety.)
  • Sandy: I don't know what to say. I mean, I don't even know what I'm gonna say.
  • Danvers: (imitating Phineas) Isabella, I'll be honest. I don't know what I'm gonna do tonight. Heck, I don't even know what I've been doing tonight. All this time I've been focused on all these crazy ideas that I show no sympathy over. The only thing that matters in life is you, Isabella. So... (He gets down on his knees.) Will you marry me? Will you become Mrs. Garcia-Shapiro, or maybe Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher? Or how about Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher-Garcia-Shapiro?
  • (Some of Phineas and Ferb's friends, as well as some animal agents, monsters, and aliens, are watching anxiously and excitedly in the wings too.)
  • Isabella: Oh, well, I would love to. I mean, I really would love to do that.
  • Pompeii: Marlene... (He gets down on his knees.) I know you've gone through inter-species relationships, including some with Ring-Tail, and some with Fred the squirrel. But I always had your backs through it all, for you had true feelings for me all along. So, do you wish to marry me?
  • (The other three penguins, and their friends are also at the wings, as they too feel anxiety and excitement.)
  • Marlene: Skipper, this is what I've been waiting to hear from you, or any male of any species.
  • Magic Steve: And Clover, ever since I first became king, you've been keeping me safe, giving me the confidence. The other day, I saw Sage's attitude towards you and the way he treated you, it just wasn't right. You don't have to be with someone who has six-pack abs and long flowing hair. You deserve someone who can give you the best in life, who can treat you like you really matter, who can love you as much as he loves his peoples. (He gets down on his knees.) That someone can be me if you answer this: Clover, will you be Queen Clover?
  • (Some of King Julien's friends are at the wings waiting excitedly and anxiously as well, including some female teen lemurs.)
  • Clover: Your words move me more than that Sage person, even though we are the Ultimate Weapon. I mean, I know who that particular someone is. But if you really wanted me to guess the animal, go ahead!
  • Magic Steve: So, what do you say?
  • (Ivan is standing backstage confused.)
  • Detective Gizmo: This is wonderful.
  • Sandy: Yes!
  • Isabella: We'd definitely do that!
  • Marlene: I, for one, don't believe this is actually happening!
  • Clover: And after all this time, it just felt so simple!
  • (The audience cheers, as the four lookalikes place rings on their dream girls' rings.)
  • Hamabra: You heard it here first, ladies and gentlemen! It is the wedding that all the world has been waiting for.
  • Danvers: We are postponing this televised tour.
  • (Gasps can be heard from friends of SpongeBob's, Phineas', Skipper's, and King Julien's from the wings, and viewers from Bikini Bottom, Danville, New York, and Madagascar.)
  • Pompeii: We will be married on an extra-special episode of "Ultra Drama Land" premiering on channel 594.
  • Magic Steve: And as for our friends watching us from the comforts of your home, you are all virtually RSVP!
  • (The audience cheers wildly. At the wings, the female teen lemurs burst into crying, and at the pits, some fishes take photos of the happy couples. Xixi flies onstage.)
  • Xixi: Xixi here reporting live with some really big news! The moment we've all been dying to sense is finally here! The greatest what-if-they-do or what-if-they-don't question which has popped everyone's minds has been answered with a definitely non-rhetorical YES! Four much beloved couples from our band, The Channel Chasers, are to be married on Ultra Drama Land! You heard me, ladies and gentlemen, SpongeBob and Sandy, Phineas and Isabella, Skipper and Marlene, and our very own King Julien and Clover. They're officially getting hitched!

Scene 45: Wanted: Patrick Star?

  • (Minutes after the show, the Snarfs who participated walk out of the auditorium and into the hall crying as they walk past Detective Gizmo and Vanessa.)
  • Grandpa Snarf: Well, I guess it's back to our respective show.
  • Vanessa: Could this investigation be more nonsensical like this?
  • (Detective Gizmo opens a chest and picks up a fake rock from the opened chest.)
  • Detective Gizmo: The pink starfish wearing green pants. He was here tonight during the performance, wasn't he?
  • Vanessa: The Purple Puma was here too! Wait a minute. Could that pink starfish wearing green pants be the one we were after?
  • Detective Gizmo: The pink starfish with the green pants. That's perfect.
  • Vanessa: How is he able to steal stuff from a grave?
  • Detective Gizmo: Somehow, the dead body belonged to Captain Terrence Corpseton. He almost got away with the long-lost Rare and Irreplaceable Diamond.
  • Vanessa: Hold on. Where exactly did the lemur announce the location of their wedding?
  • Detective Gizmo: Channel 594, if I remember correctly.
  • Both: The pink starfish is about to burglarize...
  • Vanessa: Channel 594!
  • Detective Gizmo: The Rare and Irreplaceable Diamond of Channel 594.
  • Vanessa: Oh, brother.

Scene 46: Candace's Punishment

  • (Back in the train, Candace looks at the lifeless Super-Mega-Cheese-Stinky Plant of Doom.)
  • Candace: What is that?
  • (The plant rises which scares Candace. She turns to see Hamabra, Pompeii, Danvers, and Magic Steve behind her.)
  • Candace: What a surprise.
  • Pompeii: You have noticed the Super-Mega-Cheese-Stinky Plant of Doom.
  • Candace: Is it really super mega?
  • Hamabra: Not really. It is actually named after the insults I was given back in my show.
  • Magic Steve: And from my in-law who just happened to be super and mega. What?
  • Danvers: I assure you that it is eco-friendly, and it is mind-blowing.
  • Candace: But, what's it used for?
  • Danvers: We made it just for you. The main reason why they're searching everywhere for the Bronze Diamond. Let us show you something. Bring it in, boys.
  • (A large device rises from the underfloor, and reveals itself to what appears to be a rowing machine.)
  • Candace: What's this? A rowing machine?
  • Hamabra: It's like this. The diamond, which is currently located on the channel 594, in which we're about to enter, is what the Super-Mega Cheese-Stinky Plant of Doom needs to survive. Without it, it would cease to exist. So, hop on.
  • (Candace sits on the eat.)
  • Magic Steve: And because of you, the plant will be able to reproduce once more and release its irresistably pugent spores.
  • Candace: Oh. Does that mean I'm helping the environment... Wait. Pugent spores?!
  • Pompeii: Exactly. What makes you think we're running this show for starters?
  • Danvers: But, unfortunately, the reproduction cycle has been decreasing, and back in my TV show, my kingdom has been declining from my abscense more often.
  • Magic Steve: Uh, guys. Here's one now. (He points at Danvers, when an innocent giant jellyfish swims past by.)
  • Hamabra: Boys, we've got another...
  • Danvers: Silence! (He fires an energy beam from his hands, and breaks a window, and the jellyfish swims out of it.)
  • Magic Steve: And... he's gone. Straight out the window.
  • Hamabra: Seriously? Would any of you catch up to him? I'm pretty sure he didn't run off very far.
  • Bubble Bass: (off-screen) Hey, you're not supposed to be here!
  • (Off-screen, a chase ensues, until a crash is heard.)
  • Hamabra: (scoffs) It's not easy to fire up an escape pod on this locomotive. The designs are terrible.
  • Bubble Bass: (off-screen) Where do you think you're going with that escape pod?!
  • Hamabra: Well, now that that's over with...
  • Bubble Bass: What are you... Hey!
  • Timo: (off-screen) Hey! That's the Bomb Attractor of Immense Magnitude still in the works!
  • (The machine whirs off-screen, as Timo screams getting shocked by the jellyfish, and Sandy starts shouting gibberish.)
  • Sandy: (off-screen) HI-YAH!
  • (Some glass shatters off-screen.)
  • Hamabra: You think escape pods are difficult to use?
  • Danvers: A kid, my age, could use it.
  • Hamabra: (to Candace) The point is, this is the reason why people watching our grand tour think you're special... Wha?!
  • (The newer version of The Bomb Attractor with Immense Magnitude with both Sandy's robot ungulate features, and Timo's disco ball feature crashes through the door.)
  • Hamabra: Danvers, you said that a kid your age would learn how to use an escape pod! Exactly how...
  • (The jellyfish swims away)
  • Magic Steve: And... he's gone again.
  • Hamabra: Ugh! Now, do you see why you're wanted? The one who's in charge needs to keep the show running.
  • Danvers: Yeah. We were hoping for new episodes of our respective shows.
  • Candace: You know, I think the way you're keeping the show running is... it's horrible! What would your people think of you?
  • Danvers: Ask them.
  • (The train stops at a cube which shows an episode of "Diver Sun" where a tubian (with a Candace-like shape and color) is being a guard and watching over the prisoners at the Dark Castle's dungeon. She walks past Phineas' cell, where Phineas builds a remote that will allow him to escape.)
  • Tubian Guard: Are you building a remote control? I said no games here!
  • (The Tubian guard destroys the remote.)
  • (Back with Candace, Hamabra, Danvers, Magic Steve, and Pompeii...)
  • Hamabra: Well, it's time to start the Super-Mega Cheese-Stinky Plant of Doom's reproductive cycle.
  • (He starts the rowing machine, and Candace begins rowing.)
  • Candace: Wait a second. Why would his sister supposed to keep Danvers locked up?
  • Danvers: Please. It was too easy. He had to make sure I was imprisoned for a long time. My stepbrother and I would take the bait by falling for her delicious cheese...
  • Candace: No. Why? I don't bust my brothers that way.
  • Pompeii: I think you just did.
  • Candace: No, I did not.
  • Pompeii: We told you that "we, most especially moi, would handle it all", and you said, "You'd do that? How kind." And so we figured out that since you, and some friends of yours who left as soon as you found out, did find out about our true identities, you'd forget about the prison gig.
  • Candace: What? One of my brothers is in prison?! I didn't want that. I love both of my brothers. I wouldn't do something bad for them.
  • Pompeii: Just wow. Candiyam, this is a wonderful opportunity. Are we misunderstanding it?
  • Candace: Well, sure. I think you may have. Now...
  • (Hamabra presses a button on a remote, and glue comes from the handlebars and into Candace's hands, causing her to stick to the handlebar.)
  • Candace: Hey! I'm stuck!
  • Hamabra: I knew it was too good to be true. We found somebody so very popular.
  • Danvers: And she is also getting the energy she and the train needs so we can be closer to the Bronze Diamond on channel 594.
  • Candace: The Bronze Diamond? What's that? Does it exist?
  • Magic Steve: Yes, it does. On other networks, and in real life itself, I believe it is called the Rare and Irreplaceable Diamond.
  • Candace: Wait a minute, Danvers, your secret element is the Rare and Irreplaceable Diamond?
  • Danvers: Well, it's not. We need it for such tremendous power.
  • Candace: In the real world, everybody has power, you evil genius!
  • Magic Steve: What'dya say what?
  • Candace: That's right. The entire world. None of you ever know that I... I am not... wanted.
  • Hamabra: Well... (chuckles) Of course. If you viewers need power, we would give the Super-Mega Cheese-Stinky Plant of Doom power forever.
  • Danvers: We would have a thousand times the kingdoms, snowcones, and TV shows!
  • Hamabra: Boys, tell Bubble Bass to go full throttle. We've got a vast universe to take over.
  • Candace: Please don't!
  • Pompeii: We'll fire up the generator. Wait, what? Who?
  • Hamabra: Her, Pompeii! We need to keep the Super-Mega Cheese-Stinky Plant of Doom healthy before we reach channel 594.
  • (The four lookalike villains place some attachments to chain the rowing machine.)
  • Hamabra: We couldn't have done this tour without you. And what's more? Your friends have ditched you, your brother is in jail, and then betray the Channel Chasers, and then the TV universe, AND the real world too. Way to go, Candiyam. (They four start cackling maniacally.)
  • Candace: Why?!
  • Bubble Bass: (off-screen) Channel ho!
  • Magic Steve: Right this way, Candiyam. (He takes out a remote that controls the rowing machine's levitation. He tries to control it, but it crashes into that direction.)
  • Magic Steve: Okay, then. How about this direction? (The rowing machine crashes into that direction too.) Ah. That's it.
  • Pompeii: Are you sure this is your first time doing this?
  • Magic Steve: No. I've tried this magic trick before, and it should work.
  • (He keeps levitating the rowing machine in different directions.)
  • Pompeii: I don't quite think so.
  • Magic Steve: I said I tried this magic trick, and it will work. There. That should do it. (The control actually works. The rowing machine is levitating Candace out the door, as Magic Steve pushes Candace past some private rooms.) There is not a single control who is more magical than me. (to Pompeii) And you said that my magic was bogus.)
  • (Clover peeks through her private room door as she sees the four villains taking the levitated rowing machine.)
  • Clover: Oh my goodness.

Scene 47: Goodbye Channel Chasers?

  • (Inside one hut, Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve walk past a flower girl.)
  • Flower Girl: Where do you want these?
  • Magic Steve: Just place them anywhere.
  • (The Channel Chasers approach the four imposters.)
  • Masikura: Your majesties. There you are.
  • Danvers: Hello, guys.
  • Masikura: Over some time now, we were thinking, and, well, you know, after you get married, what about the rest of the tour?
  • Squidward: What about us?
  • Hamabra: Well... you're all free to go do whatever you want.
  • Danvers: You don't need us anymore.
  • Pompeii: Our partnership with you guys has ended.
  • Group: (gasp of concern)
  • Magic Steve: But wait, it was a fun ride while it lasted, right?
  • Hamabra: So, see you.
  • (The four leave.)
  • Pearl: But...
  • Mason: He did not just say that, did he?
  • Masikura: What do we do now that we're done working for them?
  • Irving: There is only one thing to do now. We pack our bags, attend the wedding, and then we're going back home.

Scene 48: Anything That's True

  • (At another trailer, Sandy, Isabella, Marlene, and Clover are getting ready for their big day, while looking at pictures of SpongeBob, Phineas, Skipper, and King Julien.)
  • Sandy: Girls, I feel terrible.
  • Isabella: What's wrong, Sandy?
  • Marlene: Yeah, come on. You can tell us.
  • Clover: We are your friends. We're on your side.
  • Sandy: I know, but it was always a struggle for me.
  • Isabella: Yeah. I know exactly how you feel. But, you're not the only one who feels that way.
  • Sandy: I mean, it's not that it was too easy for me...
  • Marlene: I, too, feel a little bit like I don't want this moment to end.
  • Clover: But, the truth is, something is just not right about this.
  • (Sandy looks at the picture of SpongeBob.)
  • (Song: Anything That's True)
  • Sandy: It's not easy loving someone. It can take someone to know one. But I knew in my heart, you're the one. I knew the moment just won't be done.
  • Isabella: (as she looks at the picture of Phineas) Love can sometimes be peculiar. Changing over time is familiar. We were always made for each other. We are meant for one another.
  • Sandy: The question is why would anything that's true, be ever be false when the days are new?
  • Isabella: And all those times I was with the guy I knew, and afterwards how come I felt like I never knew you?
  • (Marlene looks at her photo of Skipper.)
  • Marlene: It's difficult to love somebody. But you can't please everybody. Our love was written up above. Just out loud I'm not saying I'm in love.
  • Clover: (looking at King Julien's photo) Like someone whos tough as I am. Love is that way too like I am. But today's the big day I say two words. Today, we'll be offical lovebirds. (spoken) Well, metaphorically speaking.
  • Marlene: The question is why would anything that's true, be ever be false when the days are new?
  • Clover: And all those times I was with the guy I knew, and afterwards how come I felt like I never knew you?
  • (In "O-M-POW," SpongeBob looks at a poster of Sandy at his cell.)
  • SpongeBob and Sandy: In the days ahead, after we get wed, as soon as it's just we, we'd start a family.
  • (Cut to a fantasy of SpongeBob and Sandy back in Bikini Bottom, where they are near a baby carriage with two children, bot half-sponge and half-squirrel.)
  • SpongeBob and Sandy: How we wish we did, rasing some great kids, a squirrely-sponge girl, a boy spongy squirrel.
  • (The next part of the fantasy is of SpongeBob and Sandy teaching their children how to ride a bicycle, and of their children graduating college.)
  • SpongeBob and Sandy: They would learn to talk, and would learn to talk. They'd learn from the best, and head out to the west.
  • (The next part of the fantasy is of elderly SpongeBob and Sandy sitting on a bench alone together.)
  • SpongeBob and Sandy: They'd have kids of their own, and as for us alone, we grow old together, but we're meant to be forever.
  • (Back in the real world, Sandy, Isabella, Marlene, and Clover sing behind a green screen and in front of a camera, with a monitor revealing them singing on a stage, with Squidward playing a piano.)
  • All: The question is why would anything that's true, be ever be false when the days are new? And all those times I was with the guy I knew, and afterwards how come I felt like I never knew you?
  • (In another trailer, Squidward, Larry, Buford, Jeremy, Phil, Roy, Timo, and Masikura are packing their things.)
  • Jeremy: Would anything that's true be ever so false?
  • Squidward: Why would the right thing be wrong as its all our faults?
  • Timo: How come whatever I fulfill just abandon me?
  • Roy: How can a smile on my face is a frown to be?
  • Buford: When did things looking up on me just let me down?
  • Masikura: Just after all those times we have had past around?
  • Larry: What about my hopes and dreams?
  • Phil: (singing some hoots)
  • Sandy, Isabella, Marlene, and Clover: Whatever happened to our relationships that links you and me?
  • All: The question is why would anything that's true, be ever be false when the days are new?
  • Sandy: And all those times I was with the guy I knew, and afterwards how come I felt like I never knew you?
  • (song ends)

Scene 49: SpongeBob's Great Escape

  • (Back at "O-M-POW," Tally is behind a TV camera with a cyborg guard.)
  • Cyborg guard: We're on in 5, 4, 3, 2...
  • (Piano music plays as the curtains open up, and the O-M-POW logo appears. After the logo fades, SpongeBob comes onstage.)
  • SpongeBob: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. O-M-POW is proud to present the Jail's 5th Annual Live Show!
  • (The audience, consisting of Dr. Poisonous, and all the guards who run the prison, applaud.)
  • (SpongeBob goes backstage, as he reads the script.)
  • SpongeBob: Assault, you're up next right after the opera.
  • (While he goes through the script, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, and Gary peek their eyes behind the door.)
  • Mr. Krabs: Psst. SpongeBob, me boy.
  • Patrick: Hey. Buddy, we're over here.
  • Gary: Meow.
  • (SpongeBob turns to see his visitors.)
  • SpongeBob: (gasps) Patrick. Mr. Krabs. Gary. What are you doing here?
  • Patrick: We've come to save you.
  • Mr. Krabs: Yeah, and we must get out of here at once.
  • Gary: Meow.
  • (Back onstage, a Cyborg prisoner sings Italian opera, which brings the audience (other than Dr. Poisonous) to tears.)
  • (Outside, SpongeBob catches up to Patrick, Gary, and Mr. Krabs.)
  • SpongeBob: You're here! It's good to see you.
  • Patrick: SpongeBob, an evil sponge named Hamabra took your place, and is running the tour.
  • SpongeBob: You mean I've been replaced by the villain from "O-M-POW"?
  • Mr. Krabs: We also found out that his assistant was Ivan. We don't know their true evil plans yet.
  • SpongeBob: Patrick, how come nobody noticed?
  • Patrick: Well, he had many similarities in appearance. Well, now that I think of it, he didn't really sounded like you. He mentioned something about having a cold.
  • Gary: Meow.
  • SpongeBob: What's that? You knew all along?
  • (Gary nods.)
  • SpongeBob: So after all this time I was placed here in "O-M-POW," no one, but Gary, have realized that I was replaced by a villain?!
  • Patrick: It could be worse than that.
  • Mr. Krabs: Well, it is bad enough already.
  • SpongeBob: (sighs) I thought you guys left me behind and forgot all about me.
  • Patrick: We never leave you behind.
  • Mr. Krabs: We love you, boy. You're a great fry cook of the Krusty Krab, and a great ambassador of the TV Universe.
  • Gary: Meow.

Scene 50: Phineas Gets Busted... OUT!

  • (Cut back to The Dark Side, where Queen Securia, and her humanoid monster guards are taking their seats. Onstage, Phineas comes up, grabs a microphone, and disco lights shine.)
  • Phineas: Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you a spectacular that took most of the day in the making. So, set your schedule because you ought to tell your great grandchildren about the time I hosted The Dark Kingdom 25th Annual Every-So-Often Revue!
  • (The audience applauds, then stops to hear distant music.)
  • Queen Securia: Wha... What is that noise?
  • Guard: It sounds like it could be music.
  • Queen Securia: Well, it's not coming from the orchestra.
  • Guard: Then, where?
  • (They see Baljeet, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, and their new friends coming for the Dark Kingdom.)
  • (Song: The Rescue Song)
  • Baljeet and others: This is our rescue song, in which we come out strong, and march to the beating drum, and war we wage as we come. This is our rescue song, we'll give you what's coming wrong, for our energy is beaming up, after we say Ten hup! And though you may try to beat us, because your defense is mighty big, one thing you didn't count on is you're on the other end of the rig. But if you just move to your right just a skosh, then you might be planning a fight that ends in a mosh. And we will be ready to sound off our attack, and either way, we'll be coming against you, so don't look back.
  • Queen Securia: Who are they, and how are they telling us about a full-on war by singing? We're gonna need more backup!
  • Guard: Right away, your majesty. By the way, on their side or ours?
  • Baljeet and others: You're talking 'bout our side, in which we take with pride, and we will reveal it, in the woods where it's dark and lit. Actually your side, in which you fill in stride, and probably mention that in the bridge we sang in A flat.
  • Queen Securia: Just get into our side!
  • Baljeet and others: We probably should just watch our little mouths, because we wouldn't want our little plan to all go south. But since we have a bit of chicanery, we'll fight off the phony and our friend will be free.
  • Queen Securia: Once they reach the wall, we'll have them get another thing coming.
  • Baljeet and others: This is the rescue song, in which we stand strong, we will lead the fight, and bring our friend back tonight. We really don't care about what they say there, because we've got so much fight, we will save our friend and set things right!
  • (Queen Securia look outside the castle and see nobody. The queen takes a closer look and sees nothing.)
  • Queen Securia: What the?
  • Baljeet: Fooled you! We came out from one side while you were looking at the opposite direction!
  • Queen Securia: I can't believe you tricked me in song! A style that is supposed to tie bonds of love, warmth, sincerity, and feelings. That's harsh. Who are you?
  • Baljeet and Ferb: We are Channel Chasers.
  • Queen Securia: Well, I believe that there comes a point where... Guards, arrest them!
  • (She presses a button, allowing the doors to open, but no one's inside. She presses the button multiple times, but with no help.)
  • Baljeet: Come on, Ferb. We have to go find Phineas!
  • (Ferb points at Phineas who is onstage at the auditorium.)
  • Baljeet: You're right. There he is. Phineas! Phineas!
  • (Ferb and Baljeet run to the auditorium. That was when Dr. Doofenshmirtz' phone rings.)
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: (picks up his phone and gasps) Hey! That's Vanessa! It turns out that she not in the real world! She's still on television! Anyway, I'm going to save Vanessa, while you go rescue your little friend! Now, go! Run while you're still young!
  • Baljeet: And how are you going back to the real world?
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: How else? By maturing. I know that now, and I'll keep at it.
  • (Both kids smile.)
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Now, get going! Go now!
  • (They leave Dr. Doofenshmirtz. Baljeet gives something to him, and places it on his labcoat.)
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: What is this?
  • Baljeet: It's a Return-to-the-Real-World-from-Television Badge I got from Isabella from our last trip. You should earn it.
  • (Dr. Doofenshmirtz smiles.)
  • (Finally, Ferb and Baljeet made it to the auditorium, where Phineas is playing a glockenspiel. Ferb and Baljeet peek behind the curtain.)
  • Baljeet: Psst. Phineas. It's me, Baljeet.
  • Phineas: Baljeet? Ferb? You're here.
  • Baljeet: Yes. We've came all this way to rescue you, but we have to escape right now.
  • Phineas: Right after I make a brief introduction. I'll meet you out there. (Baljeet and Ferb hide behind the curtains again, and Phineas follows them.)

Scene 51: Penguin Mutiny

  • (The penguins have landed at the Keppyville Police Station on "Darby Way Behind Ya.")
  • Private: Here we are, men. The world of "Darby Way Behind Ya." That's where we should find Skipper. Kowalski, how do we get in?
  • (The turn to see a sleeping guard by the main gate. They slide near him and hop up on the top of the chair the Keppy guard is sleeping, and then Rico slaps the now-awake guard, causing him to pass out. Rico opens the Keppy's pocket and grabs a key. They enter inside, and hear music happening.)
  • Kowalski: Now, we should be able to find Skipper.
  • Private: But, where...
  • Kowalski: Shh.
  • Private: Why did you shush me?
  • Kowalski: Do you hear that?
  • (They run closer to the music, and it turns out Skipper is hosting his show to the Keppy guards.)
  • Private: Psst. Skipper. Over here.
  • Kowalski: Skipper. It's us.
  • Rico: Skipper.
  • Skipper: (as he exits the stage) Kowalski? Private? Rico?
  • Private: In the feathers.
  • Skipper: I can't believe it. You're here to save me.
  • Kowalski: Yes, we are. We need you to come back to the tour now.
  • Private: Why are you dressed as King Pompeii?
  • Skipper: (sighs) It's such a long story with lots of plot twists and violence like I've never seen.
  • Kowalski: Well, we've got your back now, Skipper.
  • Skipper: Oh, thank you, Kowalski.
  • (Meanwhile, back onstage, ballet music plays as some Keppy prisoners are dancing ballet, and Gensui dances onstage in a tutu.)
  • Skipper: How come King Pompeii is acting like myself and nobody knew the difference?
  • Kowalski: He looked and sounded like you. He was practically acting lawfully.
  • Rico: Rico know.
  • Skipper: You knew he was King Pompeii, Rico?
  • Rico: Mm-hmm.
  • Skipper: So you knew he was King Pompeii, and nobody else knew the difference while I was placed under custody on his show?
  • Rico: Uh-uh.
  • Kowalski: And my statistics show that if he, by any means necessary, enters the real world, he is planning to destroy the penguin HQ, and take over the zoo, and then the world.
  • Skipper: Buddha's Bellybutton! If I don't act fast, something bad is gonna happen to our zoo! And I may not be the leader of the Penguins anymore. I thought you didn't need me.
  • Kowalski: Calm down, Skipper. We still need you as our leader.
  • Private: And we need you more than anything in the universe.
  • Rico: Good penguin.

Scene 52: Karl to the Rescue

  • (Back in Metroplesburg jail, officers are taking their seats. King Julien peeks from backstage.)
  • King Julien: Okay, my peoples, places please.
  • (Sage, along with Furry Thumbkins, ZIR, the Posspurple Posse, the Bacteria Brothers, Queenie Highcash, and some giant monsters are getting ready to perform. King Julien looks behind the curtains again to see Meduce is taking her seat.)
  • Meduce: I'm an especially big fan of the arts. At one time, I disguised myself as an everyday good woman to take the RogueRuff Girls' creator, Dr. Newtonsium, out to see the live play of Ulyseeys. That was a true marvel.
  • (The lights dim out.)
  • Human Officer: Silence, maggots! The show is about to start!
  • (Backstage, King Julien pulls some rope to open the curtain. Some rousing music starts playing. Suddenly he hears a familiar noise.)
  • Maurice: Psst. Your majesty.
  • (King Julien goes to the exit, and finds a fossa decoy, where he screams in fright at the sight of it.)
  • King Julien: AAAH!
  • Maurice: (pops his head from the fossa decoy's mouth) Your majesty!
  • King Julien: Oh no! Not Momo! Why? He was my bestest friend in the whole wide world! (cries)
  • Maurice: No, your majesty. It's me. I wasn't actually eaten. We're just inside a fossa suit.
  • King Julien: We? What do you mean we?
  • (Mort pops his head inside the fossa suit.)
  • Mort: Hi, King Julien! (laughs)
  • King Julien: Mort!
  • Maurice: We're here to rescue you. We'll tell you about how you left us without us knowing beforehand later. Right now, we have to go.
  • Mort: Yeah.
  • (Back onstage, the spotlight shines on Rex.)
  • Rex: Oh, it was a regular day in the kingdom, until the monsters came in to take our women, our precious metals, and our freedom!
  • Meduce: This is, without a doubt, one of the greatest performances I ever have to witness ever.
  • (Outside the jail, Maurice and Mort take off the fossa suit, and King Julien comes running over to them.)
  • King Julien: You came back. What are you doing here?
  • Maurice: King Julien, Magic Steve is back, and this time he took your place completely and is taking over the kingdom for reals, and then the universe.
  • King Julien: Magic Steve? I thought he was eaten by a crocodile.
  • Mort: And he has an army who look like the leaders of the Channel Chasers. One of them was Ivan.
  • King Julien: Why didn't anybody know that somebody who was already eaten was still alive?
  • Maurice: His impersonations of you were more improving. Well, not that much. He even said something about Mad Horse Disease.
  • (Suddenly, they see disco lights flashing and hear maniacal laughing coming from Karl, who is sitting on a flying chair with a disco ball attatched so it can soar.)
  • Karl: We meet again, Julien.
  • King Julien: Et tu, Karl?
  • Karl: That is right, Julien. Ever since this whole tour started, I was the one who controlled it all. You see, while you and your kingdoms were celebrating your victory party after you defeated Koto, I traveled to a foreign village to make a business deal with the big stupid furless ape named Ivan to get you inside television. And you are not going to believe what I still have during all of this. (He shows the magical remote control.)
  • King Julien: A magic remote control?!
  • Karl: Yes. I used it to arranged television's most hurtful villains from four shows to make their escapes so they can switch places with you, and three of your friends who look like them, take over your roles in the Channel Chasers, steal valuable memorabilia from classic television shows, and eventually take over the world, during which I will make my move, obliterate the TV villains, and gain access to total domination.
  • King Julien: You mean, you knew this whole time, and that while I've been in locked up at Metroplesburg Prison, nobody, not even a single lemur or person from the Channel Chasers, except you, was aware the I, the king, was replaced by a dead nobody who came back from the grave and found a temporary role as a villain for a cartoon and then regained my crown?
  • Maurice: Well...
  • Mort: (sighs) Nobody.
  • King Julien: But, you forgot all about me, and that my peoples needed a better king.
  • Maurice: King Julien, you are the kingdom your peoples know and love.
  • Mort: Our kingdom wouldn't be the same without your precious feet for me to touch. Now more than ever, I really need them.
  • Chauncey: (squeaking)

Scene 53: The Secret to the Formula

  • (Suddenly, Xixi's news report airs on monitors on all four shows, with SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, Gary, Phineas, Baljeet, the penguins, King Julien, Maurice, Mort, Karl, and Chauncey watching.)
  • Xixi: You heard me, ladies and gentlemen, SpongeBob and Sandy.
  • (At "O-M-POW," SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, and Gary are watching Hamabra and Sandy on a monitor.)
  • Patrick: Oh.
  • (At "Diver Sun", Phineas and Baljeet are watching Danvers and Isabella on a monitor.)
  • Xixi: Phineas and Isabella.
  • Phineas: What?
  • (At "Darby Way Behind Ya!," the penguins were seeing Pompeii and Marlene on a monitor.)
  • Xixi: Skipper and King Julien.
  • Rico: Uh-oh.
  • (Back at "The RogueRuff Girls," King Julien, Maurice, Mort, Sage, Karl, and Chauncey are watching Clover and Magic Steve on the monitor.)
  • Xixi: ...and our very own King Julien and Clover. They're officially getting hitched! So, check your local listings and set your DVRs, because you won't want to miss a single minute of this splendifferous quadruple wedding on "Ultra Drama Land" on channel 594.
  • King Julien: Oh no. Magic Steve is going to marry Clover tomorrow? My kingdom is at stake again! My peeps, and Karl, we're going to channel 594!
  • (King Julien runs past Maurice, Mort, Sage, Karl, and Chauncey and was about to burst through the gates.)
  • Maurice: King Julien, no!
  • Mort: Not the feet!
  • (But the king didn't listen. He kept running until he sees bullets being shot to the ground from above, startling him.)
  • King Julien: I just remembered. I'm still in jail. (to a prison guard) No offense, officer!
  • Prison Guard: That's okay. I apologize for this. It happens all the time.
  • King Julien: And thanks for not getting me killed!
  • Prison Guard: Hey, no offense taken.
  • King Julien: We don't have a lot of time left to waste, so we have to make our move if we're to escape.
  • Maurice: How?
  • Mort: I think I have written a play once when Koto was king, and it helped the kingdom escape, so maybe... (chuckles) I know what we will do.
  • (Back at "O-M-POW," Gunther approaches SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs, Patrick, and Gary.)
  • SpongeBob: If we don't hurry to channel 594, something bad will happen to Sandy!
  • Patrick: I feel like we're missing something.
  • Gunther: Excuse me, SpongeBob, you wouldn't happen to know where the shovels and pickaxes are for this big production number that's coming up next, would you?
  • Mr. Krabs: Wait a minute. (He sees a tool shed on the other side of prison.) I'm getting an idea.
  • SpongeBob: Good. You go over there with Gunther, and Patrick, start a televised campaign to our friends who are imprisoned in other TV shows. And Gary, you're with him. I'm off to host a live show. (He runs off.)
  • Patrick: A televised campaign?
  • (Back inside the jail...)
  • SpongeBob: Now, put your hands together for, Assault.)
  • (The curtains open, revealing Assault, who is a tall muscular humanoid cyborg dressed in black and red, and is chained to the neck. He yanks the chain off as hard as he can, and he successfully breaks it open. The audience applauds as he drops the chain and runs to the audience, until he gets zapped by Dr. Poisonous.)
  • Dr. Poisonous: Not so fast.
  • (Dr. Poisonous zaps Assault with his taser.)
  • Dr. Poisonous: Sorry, Assault. Better luck some other time.
  • (Backstage, SpongeBob hurries back to find, to his surprise, Phineas, Baljeet, the penguins, King Julien, Maurice, Mort, Sage, Karl, Chauncey, Shelfishness, Gensui, some keppy prisoners, Furry Thumbkins, ZIR, Queenie, the Bacteria Brothers, the PossPurple Posse, and some giant monsters.)
  • SpongeBob: Phineas! Skipper! King Julien! You came to rescue me too!
  • Patrick: SpongeBob, is it okay if they'd watch the show from here?
  • King Julien: Yeah. Can we?
  • SpongeBob: What? No. They can't watch from here. Wait. Patrick, I think I know what we're forgetting. Our friends, and whoever they brought back with them. You're not watching this next act. You'd get to be part of it! Let's go!
  • (The group, along with the cyborg prisoners, all hurry onstage.)
  • SpongeBob: This better work, Mr. Krabs. I tried so hard several times for me to escape.
  • Mr. Krabs: Trust me, boy. It will work. (SpongeBob rushes onstage.) I'll see you onstage. Break a leg, boy!
  • SpongeBob: Okay.
  • Mr. Krabs: This better work.
  • (Onstage, the curtains open to a restaurant set that looks like the Krusty Krab dining room and kitchen, complete with the sink, greasy friers, etc. SpongeBob (wearing a fake crown) is at the grill flipping up some krabby patties. Customers include the cyborg prisoners, the Keppy prisoners, and many monster prisoners. Gunther is on a boat with a cash register.)
  • Mr. Krabs: (off-screen) Once upon a time, in a restaurant called The Krusty Krab, there lived a fry cook king named SpongeBob SquarePants. His favorite job to do is to flip krabby patties to the hungry customers.
  • (SpongeBob flips a patty and rings the bell.)
  • SpongeBob: Order up! (He gives the krabby patty to a cyborg prisoner who takes it from the counter. The next customer is a Keppy prisoner.)
  • Gunther: Welcome to the Krusty Krab. May I take your order?
  • Keppy Prisoner: Yes. I would like the... uh... No, wait! I know... Uh...
  • Gunther: Will just order something already! I have a long line of hungry customers who all want something. Most of need a living, you know.
  • Keppy Prisoner: Please, don't stop me now. I've nearly got it. Uh...
  • (Suddenly, Furry Thumbkins (dressed as a woman wearing a helmet and a flower in his wig) bursts in.)
  • Furry Thumbkins: Doggonit! Where's my vittles? The service is slower than a turtle stuck in a puddle of molasses!
  • (The prisoner customers shout in anger. Just then, out through the kitchen door came Shelfishness, dressed as Mr. Krabs.)
  • Shelfishness: (gasps) Me customers! All right, you scalliwags! Move along! One at a time! What's the meaning of this, Mr. Gunthward?
  • Gunther: Don't ask me. Ask that fry cook of yours. If you compare this dunderhead to him, we'll never survive the lunch rush.
  • Shelfishness: Well, I'll be the judge of that. (He snatches a dollar bill from the Keppy prisoner, and places it inside the cash register.) You will have Number 2 special with cheese.
  • Keppy Prisoner: I was just gonna say that! I would like the Number 2 Special with cheese.
  • Gunther: Why don't you be a knucklehead McSpanzatron elsewhere?
  • Keppy Prisoner: Because I'll be somewhere at 6:00, watching a guy get hit in the head with coconuts.
  • (Gunther gets a facepalm, while Shelfishness laughs. He goes into the kitchen where SpongeBob is busy preparing food.)
  • Shelfishness: SpongeBob!
  • SpongeBob: Yes, Mr. Krabs?
  • Shelfishness: We've got a lot of ravenous customers out there? What's the hold-up?
  • SpongeBob: Well, I'll have you know that I won't serve a single krabby patty until it's cooked to perfection. (singing) Krabby patty cooked just right. Krabby Patty day and night. Krabby patty, what a tasty sight. Krabby patty cooked just right. Do-do-do-do-do-do... (He keeps singing and dancing around the kitchen, until he couldn't anymore.)
  • Shelfishness: Will you stop that?
  • SpongeBob: Sorry.
  • Shelfishness: I want you to sell those patties faster and on time, too, or else you'll serve as full-time employee at the Chum Bucket!
  • SpongBob: Yes, sir. I won't let this get out of hand again. (Shelfishness leaves the stage.) Okay, patties, get ready to flipped single-handedly! (He forms multiple arms with spatulas, as he rapidly cooks patties, wowing the guard audience, which also consists of Dr. Poisonous.)
  • Dr. Poisonous: Wow. He really is good.
  • (He serves them to not just the prisoner customers, but also to the audience of guards.)
  • Mr. Krabs: (off-screen) Now, the Krusty Krab has a regular customer, by the name of Sheldon J. Plankton, who, from time to time, wants to get his hands on the Krabby patty's secret formula. One day, when a customer was about to eat from one of the finest Krabby patties, that's where he came in.
  • (At a table, Futty Thumbkins was about to eat his krabby patty, until he sees something missing from his sandwich.)
  • Furry Thumbkins: Hey! Where's the cheese? Gawrsh dang! I'm bursting out of here!
  • (He was about to leave, when Reynold (with an eyepatch) bursts through the door with a raygun.)
  • Reynold: Where do you think you're going?! Sit back down or I'll...
  • (Furry Thumbkins sits down.)
  • Reynold: Everyone else, put your hands up! I'm on a burglary spree!
  • (The guard viewers watching from "Diver Sun", "Darby Way Behind Ya!", and "The RogueRuff Girls" all raise their hands, except for Queen Securia, Officer Arrestem, and Meduce.)
  • Reynold: Krabs, freeze! (Shelfishness peeks his head from the kitchen door and comes out to hug the cash register, much to the annoyance of Gunther.)
  • Shelfishness: Please, don't shoot me! Okay, go on! Shoot me! Just don't take me cashie!
  • Reynold: I don't want your money!
  • Shelfishness: What?
  • Reynold: But, I do want the Krabby patty secret formula, and nobody gets hurt! (He laughs evilly as he starts his raygun.) I'm giving you ten seconds to get yourselves out of this restaurant! One, two...
  • (Furry Thumbkins gets up and starts karate chopping Reynold, who passes out.)
  • Furry Thumbkins: Y'all are mincemeat!
  • (Gunther and Shelfishness look at each other amused. Furry storms offstage.)
  • Meduce: Hmm. I guess he got what he deserved.
  • (Back onstage...)
  • Shelfishness: Don't worry, my fellow customers. He's not really a burglar. He's only me arch-rival who lives 100 feet away from me own restaurant, Plankton! (He notices Plankton is missing.) Where'd that little pipsqueak run off to?
  • (The scene changes to a scene which looks like Mr. Krabs' own office. Reynold is about to open a safe, and when it opens, it reveals to be empty.)
  • Reynold: What happened to the formula?
  • (Scene changs back to the kitchen, where SpongeBob is still making krabby patties frantically. When suddenly, Reynold bursts in.)
  • Reynold: All right, where is the Krabby patty formula?
  • SpongeBob: I haven't got a clue.
  • (Two Keppy prisoners (dressed as police officers.) barge into the restaurant.)
  • Keppy Prisoner 2: We'll take that no-good low-life ruffian off your hands.
  • Shelfishness: Thank goodness, officers. Now, take this ruffian.
  • Keppy Prisoner 3: Actually, we mean the fry cook who works here.
  • SpongeBob: What?!
  • Keppy Prisoner 2: We know you stole the Krabby patty formula. Where is it?
  • SpongeBob: Um, it's at home under my mattress.
  • (Both Keppy prisoners laugh, as they handcuff SpongeBob and take him out of the restaurant.)
  • Shelfishness: SpongeBob! No!
  • (The scene changes to a coal mine, where Phineas, Skipper, King Julien, cyborg prisoners, Keppy prisoners, and monster prisoners are smashing rocks with pickaxes and sledgehammers. SpongeBob is doing the same.)
  • SpongeBob: Hi, guys. You got under arrest too, huh?
  • Phineas: Yeah. I got busted by my sister who saw one of my big inventions. She called the authorities and they saw the whole thing. My mom was there too, and she busted me for that. That's why I'm here.
  • Skipper: And I, too, got under arrest for stealing a little girl's dolly.
  • King Julien: And I helped a fellow felon to help overrule a kingdom. So, he sort of exiled me.
  • SpongeBob: Can any of you show me a way out of here?
  • Skipper: There is no way out, man.
  • Phineas: Well, I tried to build a super-spectacular device that looks like a remote control that will help us escape, but it got destroyed by water.
  • SpongeBob: Could you happen to be fugitives on the run?
  • King Julien: As a matter of fact, yes.
  • Mr. Krabs: (off-screen) And so, SpongeBob, and his fugitives escaped from the prison, when suddenly...
  • (Shelfishness, the Keppy Prisoner, Gunther, and Furry Thumbkins enter onstage.)
  • Shelfishness: We're coming for you, SpongeBob!
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs!
  • Shelfishness: We're here to save you, boy.
  • (But, the two Keppy guards enter the stage.)
  • Keppy Prisoner 2: Oh, no. He's not.
  • Keppy Prisoner 3: Our monitors indicated that he escaped with three runaways.
  • Furry Thumbkins: What did SpongeBob ever do wrong?
  • Keppy Prisoner 2: He unknowingly stole the Krabby patty secret formula from the Krusty Krab.
  • Shelfishness: But, you don't understand, officer. He wasn't actually trying to steal the secret formula of the krabby patty. He IS the krabby patty secret formula.
  • Keppy Prisoner 2: Wait. He is?
  • Furry Thumbkins: You see, he's the best lifeform who has ever roamed the ocean floor. That's the way I see him.
  • Gunther: He's my bestest friend in the whole world. We go jellyfishing together. We eat krabby patties together. We even scare Squidward silly together, even if he's serious about us acting annoying around him.
  • Keppy Prisoner: He maybe the most annoying neighbor I have ever have to live with, but that irritating little runt is my friend, and he doesn't want to be in jail.
  • Shelfishness: And he changed my life in the history of fast food. Ever since the day he began working for me, I was inspired by his daring work. You see, I once thought that the secret to the krabby patty formula was the secret ingredient, until the day he joined the Krusty crew. Since then, I have come to realize that the real secret ingredient to the krabby patty is not a rolled-up piece of paper of ingredients corked up inside a bottle inside a safe. The real secret ingredient to the Krabby patty is standing right here with us right now. The real secret ingredient to the Krabby patty is SpongeBob SquarePants.
  • SpongeBob: Aw.
  • Phineas: (whispers to SpongeBob) Are you ready?
  • SpongeBob: Yes. Yes, I am.
  • (Mr. Krabs is conducting at the orchestra pit, consisting of a guard playing a piano, Patrick on trumpet, Gary on violin, Ferb on bass guitar, Baljeet on keyboard, Kowalski on acoustic guitar, Private on saxophone, Rico on drums, Maurice on bass, Mort on flugelhorn, Sage on trash-can lid, and Karl on French horn. Mr. Krabs taps the book with his baton.)
  • Mr. Krabs: Hit it!
  • (Song: The Secret to the Formula)
  • (Renyold comes on stage as the pickaxes, sledgehammers, and shovels bang on the floor rhythmically.)
  • Reynold: A formula is something like a recipe. A recipe is something like a plan. With elements and measurements all mixed together by a steady hand.
  • Mr. Krabs: But careful you must be or you'll be sad, you see. If somehow in the mix that has no soul.
  • Private: So, what's the one ingredient that turns this smashing sauce to liquid gold. We'll tell you who.
  • All, including prisoners: The secret to the formula is you. You. You. You. The honey in my tea, you know, is you. You. You. You. The bubbles in the boil, the one essential oil, it's true. The secret to the formula is you. You.
  • Patrick: SpongeBob!
  • All: You, you.
  • Phineas: What in this wide, watery world would it be like without you?
  • All: The secret to the formula is you. You. You. You. The honey in my tea, you know, is you. You. You. You. The bubbles in the boil, the one essential oil, it's true. The secret to the formula is you. You.
  • Patrick: SpongeBob!
  • All: You, you. The secret to the formula is you, you.
  • Patrick: SpongeBob!
  • Meduce: Very entertaining.
  • All performers: The secret to the formula is you, you. You, YOU!
  • (The final performer standing, Reynold, jumps into a hole. The guard audience applauded.)

Scene 54: Finding Vanessa

  • (Back on "Diver Sun", Dr. Doofenshmirtz is searching for Vanessa.)
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Okay, so I need to find out where Vanessa is by looking at this picture... (He finds the prison Phineas was sent to.) Here we are. So that means I have to go the other way. Okay. (He walks the other direction, which happens to be a cliff. As he falls down screaming, Agent P saves him as he was about to reach the bottom.) Perry the Platypus, there you are. Wait a minute. Were you following me throughout the TV Universe, but then rescued one of your host family members, and then came all this way to rescue me like a... (A twig snaps, causing the platypus and his nemesis to fall again, but the Gizmo Roadster soars in and rescues them.)
  • Vanessa: Hi, Dad! Hi, Perry! (She and Detective Gizmo poke their heads out the window.)
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Vanessa, what are you doing here?
  • Vanessa: Figured I had to rescue you! So, how were you able to get here?
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Um, I don't exactly know how Perry the Platypus and I got here, but thankfully, I used the Magical-Remote-Control-inator.
  • Vanessa: Like a regular remote control?
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Yes, like a regular remote control. But still, it is an inator. By the way, how did you get a flying vehicle that forms into an airplane?
  • Vanessa: Do you like it?
  • Detective Gizmo: This is my Gizmo Roadster.
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: And who is this guy?
  • Detective Gizmo: I am Dectective Gizmo.
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I'm a big fan of your show.
  • Vanessa: Can I keep it?
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I don't know, but if we do, we're gonna get a bigger ticket.
  • (The Gizmo Roadster beeps like a bike horn. Meanwhile, back at Phineas' prison, the guards are still applauding. Queen Securia notices something wrong.)
  • Queen Securia: Open the curtains!
  • (The curtains open up to reveal the stage being empty.)
  • Queen Securia: Oh, no. PHINEAS!
  • (Back on "O-M-POW," Dr. Poisonous and the guards are still applauding.)
  • Dr. Poisonous: Bravo! Bravo! Do more! (The curtain opens revealing that everything and everyone is gone.) I am appalled by this! I just can't believe such a penalty became so proper for this show! Stuff like this can't define the entire ignorance for this mess! That settles it. From now on, all prisoners shall be... (He sees all the cells are empty. Then, he realizes that he is being handcuffed by the two guards.) NOOOOOOO!
  • (On "Darby Way Behind Ya", Officer Arrestem and the keppy guards are still cheering after the performance.)
  • Officer Arrestem: (laughs) That was so funny. (The curtains open to reveal an empty stage.) My penguin! (He sees Pompeii's cell empty, and a hole being dug on the wall.) Hey! It was all just a ruse! (to some Keppy guards) You men search all over Keppyville to find the missing penguin! (to other keppy guards) And you men are with me! Remember, we don't rest until we find that penguin! (They charge out of the auditorium.)
  • (On "The RogueRuff Girls", Meduce and the prison guards are still giving a round of applause for the encore.)
  • Meduce: I'm sure the performers will be here any time now.
  • (A prison guard whispers into her ear.)
  • Meduce: What? Would somebody please raise the curtains?! (The curtains rise up to reveal nothing. She comes up to the stage to see a hole dug during the performance, causing her to gasp.) KING JULIEN!!!

Scene 55: Whoops! Wrong Channel

  • (Cut back to the TV Universe, where SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, Gary, Phineas, Ferb, Baljeet, Skipper, Kowalski, Private, Rico, King Julien, Maurice, Mort, Sage, Karl, and Chauncey are free!)
  • SpongeBob: Way to go, everybody! Now, put the petal to the medal, because we're going to crash a wedding!
  • Phineas: We gotta find Isabella and Candace!
  • Baljeet: Anybody else?
  • Phineas: And the others.
  • Skipper: Look, boys. We're going to channel 594.
  • King Julien: It would appear that they're gonna take over the channel first.
  • (King Julien presses a button on his remote, taking them to channel 591, where playing now is "Ricky and Hornswoggle." They appear onstage in an town near the hills.)
  • R&H Narrator: It is a dishonest world of crime in Freezeburn Falls and it has never ceased. The question is who could be responsible for breaking the law? Could it be Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, Magic Steve, and the unexpected Purple Puma?
  • SpongeBob: But, we're not the criminals here.
  • Phineas: Yeah, we are the good guys.
  • Skipper: We enforce and respect the law.
  • King Julien: And we never have done petty crimes.
  • R&H Narrator: But, it looks as though they are the ones that are stealing the town blind. They have been recently tricking bands into performing concerts while they go out and rob banks in the process.
  • Patrick: Do I look like someone who is purple all the time? Actually, I kind of love it.
  • (Cut to an auditorium.)
  • R&H Narrator: Here, we see an auditorium, where the dynamic duo, Ricky and Hornswoggle, perform regularly.
  • (At a hillside, Ricky the colugo (or flying lemur) jumps off it, and glides his way to the auditorium.)
  • R&H Narrator: This is Ricky Q. Colugo. Ricky is on his way to the auditorium, when suddenly, he sees the bad guys from below.
  • Ricky: Holy Toledo!
  • (Back at the auditorium, Hornswoggle, a biped rhinoceros, who appears via a puff of smoke.)
  • R&H Narrator: And this is Hornswoggle Q. Rhinoceros, who is introducing a magic trick.
  • Hornswoggle: Alakazam!
  • R&H Narrator: Ricky swoops down to Hornswoggle and explains that to him that the bad guys have escaped.
  • Ricky: Hornswoggle, you're never gonna believe this, but the bad guys have escaped from jail.
  • Hornswoggle: Bad guys? (Ricky peeks backstage to see SpongeBob, Phineas, Skipper, King Julien, and their friends.)
  • Ricky: I'll take care of them.
  • R&H Narrator: Ricky was about to take down his enemies, but as soon as he starts, one of the bad guys spoke.
  • SpongeBob: Wait! We aren't who you think we are. I'm not Hamabra. Phineas is not Danvers. Skipper isn't Pompeii. King Julien isn't Magic Steve. My best friend, Patrick, is not The Purple Puma. He doesn't even look like a puma.
  • R&H Narrator: And so, the four explained the whole story to Ricky and Hornswoggle on how they are not criminal masterminds, and they are actually good-doers who got sent to prison while doing live concerts.
  • Hornswoggle: So, you mean to tell us that you're good guys who were performing on different TV shows and you got sent to prison by the real Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, Magic Steve, and The Purple Puma?
  • Phineas: If we were the bad guys, would we look like this?
  • R&H Narrator: Having been convinced, Ricky and Hornswoggle were asked if they have seen the real bad guys.
  • Hornswoggle: Last time we saw them, they were breaking into a television store and stealing the most expensive television set.
  • R&H Narrator: So, at that moment, the good-doers are given directions to the television store not too far from there, and as soon as they reached said television store, one of them had a question.
  • Skipper: Does anybody have the remote?
  • Others: Uhhhhhhh...
  • Private: Don't worry, Skipper. I know how we should get in.
  • Karl: You do?
  • Private: Watch this. (He hops up inside the "most expensive television set.")
  • SpongeBob: (looks at the price tag) $1000000?
  • Phineas: How expensive.
  • Skipper: But cheap when you go inside.
  • King Julien: Come on.
  • R&B Narrator: And with that being said, the good doers jump inside the most expensive television set in a mysterious way.
  • (They all jump inside the expensive television set. The next channel they go into is channel 593, where playing now is "TVCuties." The set is another meadow with flowers, hills, a windmill.)
  • British Narrator: Around the meadow from far and near, TVCuties gather to play here.
  • (Skipper, Kowalski, Private, and Rico with screens on their bellies pop up from a hole, one at a time.)
  • Penguins: Group hug! (They give a group hug.)
  • (Suddenly the windmill starts blowing.)
  • Penguins: Uh-oh.
  • (The penguins waddle to a tunnel at a hill. Inside, they find a television, and tumble inside it.)
  • (Back with Ivan, Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, Magic Steve, and Candace on channel 594...)
  • Magic Steve: (polishing a ring) That's right. You will soon consume the essences of everybody.
  • Danvers: Hamabra, set it to maximum overdrive.
  • (Hamabra did just that. He presses the button on SpongeBob's magic remote, which would affect the heroes in the vicinity of the TV Universe.)
  • Female Announcer: Attention. Hold on tight, because we are accelerate to channel 594.
  • Baljeet: Uh-oh. That's ten times the regular speed of light.
  • Karl: Ten times the regular speed of light? What's that like?
  • Kowalski: I heard that when you outreach the regular speed of light, reality, the nature of our own existence, it all breaks down...
  • (The scene loses all color, leaving it in clean-up form, then in rough pencil form.)
  • Kowalski: ...to a primitive state all the way back to its source.
  • Mort: That's odd.
  • (The scene reverts to animatic form.)
  • Storyboard Director: (off-screen) Patrick says something funny.
  • (The scene reverts to storyboard.)
  • Phineas: Whoa. Deja vu.
  • Patrick: How can we take of this much more storyboard than reality?
  • Storyboard Director: (off-screen) And then, we cut... (The drawing becomes a live-action shot of two animated directors showing the storyboard to an audience.) ...to us.
  • Storyboard Director 2: You can see us right now giving the part we are pitching.
  • Storyboard Director 1: Yeah, as you can see, we are saying what we are showing you at this very moment.
  • Storyboard Director 2: And then, we zoom...
  • Both: Back to the storyboard and into the story.
  • (We cut back to full animation, with the gang looking confused.)
  • Ferb: Let's never go through that again.
  • Everyone else: Agreed.
  • (Back on "Ultra Drama Land," Dr. Doofenshmirtz, Vanessa, Agent P, and Detective Gizmo zap themselves into the show.)
  • Vanessa: Dad, I can't thank you enough for coming all this way just to rescue me.
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: No. Thank you for saving me. You maybe 16, but you are acting like you're a mature adult. Maturing if you will.
  • Vanessa: Dad, you do know that it is not a real word, right?
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I knew that. How are we going to get home?
  • (They all hear a clucking chicken.)
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I got it! We can use the Chicken-Replace-inator to switch ourselves with the chicken most closest to reality. It worked before. Come on, Vanessa. Hop in. (They both get on the Gizmo Roadster.)
  • Detective Gizmo: But, Vanessa, what about the rest of the assignment?
  • Vanessa: Don't worry. I'm only borrowing it.
  • Detective Gizmo: But, I was so close to capturing the Purple Puma and his team. Besides, I'm starting to think that you could be the Purple Puma or any one of his mates.
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Okay. Here we go. Putting it like I'm taking a selfie. Everybody, look at the birdie. (Dr. Doofenshmirtz zaps at the Gizmo Roadster and everybody inside, and in its place is a chicken, and it turns out the Gizmo Roadster is where the chicken was before Dr. Doofenshmirtz zapped it with his Chicken-Replace-inator.) Hold on. (He zaps the Gizmo Roadster and everyone inside again, and the vehicle and the chicken changed spots to where they were before the first zap.) Nope. Give me a second. (He zaps the Gizmo Roadster again, and this time it and the chicken switched spots to where they were after the first zap.)
  • Vanessa: Dad, we're still on television.
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Now, I understand. I realize that this chicken did, in fact, come from the real world, but then found itself here on television. So, it is closer to us. We're never going back to reality if we keep putting up with this... Wait a minute. (He takes out his Turkey-inator which is remade into a small handheld model, and the Eat-it-all-inator.) I feel like having sesame fried chicken salad tonight.
  • Vanessa: Dad, we can't eat the chicken. You know what? I'm continuing the case with Detective Gizmo. (She hops out.)
  • (The chicken clucks madly at Dr. Doofenshmirtz.)
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Eh, who's counting?

Scene 56: Channel 594

  • (Back in the TV Universe with SpongeBob, Phineas, Skipper, King Julien, and the gang who are now approaching channel 594.)
  • SpongeBob: We're getting closer to channel 594.
  • Phineas: We need to find a plan to halt this ship right now!
  • Baljeet: I got it! How about Space Adventure?
  • (Cut to the Space Adventure theme song yet once more.)
  • Background Singer: Space...
  • Baljeet: In episode 349C, the captain was saving the world and the alien lieutenant was madly in love with him, and...
  • All (including Ferb): Baljeet?!
  • Baljeet: Sorry about that. We can use the remote to excess the cargo and imobilize the ship. sending them away throughout the TV Universe, so we can save the others and leave this ship.
  • (Baljeet walks over to the cargo and unlocks it.)
  • Phineas: You know what you're doing, right?
  • Baljeet: They have to push this button in Space Adventure.
  • Phineas: Baljeet, don't...
  • (But, Baljeet did it anyway. He had to press the button on the remote. The result is that it opens the airlock, making the gang fall overboard the ship with Buford's canoe, and several other stuff.)
  • Skipper: You and your Space Adventure idea!
  • Baljeet: (takes out the Space Adventure DVD box set from his overralls) You know what, Space Adventure?! That does it! This is the final time you have failed me, you big, fat, ugly, displeasure!!! (He bends the DVD case, but that didn't work. So, he opens up the DVD box set and uses Phineas' left-handed flange tuner to destroy not only all of the DVD discs, but also the entire DVD box set all together.)
  • SpongeBob: I don't think I earned a Good Noodle Star for falling into a TV channel because of a stupid cancelled science fiction TV show!
  • Patrick: But we might win an award for Best Televised Fall!
  • King Julien: (he feels something inside his head which reveals a little King Julien landing on Julien's head via a barrel.) That's it! I have a plan! Everyone, hop aboard Buford's canoe!
  • (The gang is now on Buford's canoe.)
  • Phineas: Now what?
  • Maurice: How should I know? I didn't realize that I planned this far ahead!
  • Phineas: I know! We can use the various falling supplies for breaching just like how they did it in Space Adventure episode 436B!
  • Private: Okay, let's do it.
  • Gary: Meow.
  • (Phineas jumps out of the canoe and starts grabbing the supplies.)
  • Baljeet: Space Adventure? Why would Phineas take my dumb ideas and turn them into good ones?
  • Karl: Because he does.
  • Phineas: I want everybody to grab something.
  • Private: Here, take this. (He gives one of the items to Ferb.)
  • Phineas: And this, and all that other stuff, and we should be good.
  • Kowalski: Uh, I don't mean to be a stickler, but channel 594 is getting closer and closer!
  • (It turns out that Ferb and the penguins have created a tugboat.)
  • King Julien: The penguins have made a boat within a boat? That's the nicest thing they have done for me. But seriously, why did Buford make round the place for?
  • Phineas: Now, Ferb!
  • (Ferb presses a button on the remote and the tugboat transforms into an airplane, complete with wings.)
  • Skipper: Pull up, boys! Pull up!
  • (The canoe plane pulls up and takes the gang to channel to 594, where playing right now is "Quest Time," a parody of "Adventure Time." In a meadow near the mountains, credits start rolling.)
  • (Song: Come and Follow Me)
  • Background Singer: Come and follow me, and the birds and the bees...
  • (SpongeBob, Phineas, Skipper, King Julien, and their friends get zapped into the show and land on one of the credits. They all cheer.)
  • SpongeBob: Wow, that was very helpful! (to Baljeet) And to think we don't need this for support.
  • Skipper: This isn't Ultra Drama Land, is it?
  • SpongeBob: Actually, we are on the end credits for "Quest Time." Coming up next is "Ultra Drama Land."
  • Phineas: Hey, guys! Look at this! Ultra Drama Land! Keep holding on to the credits! Ferb, the penguins and I have got a lot of hard work to do.
  • (The credits take them to the screen with Ultra Drama Land on it. Host Craig McLeith pops up.)
  • Craig McLeith: Welcome back to "Ultra Drama Land!" Our contestants are getting ready for their next challenge. The Mairriage of Epicness! And as you can see behind me, it looks like it's becoming a star-studded event around here.
  • (He shows us a lot of people in a red-carpet-esque event as millions cheer as a limousine drives by.)
  • Patrick: What a nice place this is.
  • Phineas: Well, this is it. Ultra Drama Land on channel 594. Remember, this is a brand new episode, and it is wedding-themed.
  • Skipper: Kowalski, progress report?
  • Kowalski: We can't get in through the main entrance. It's too crowded.
  • Skipper: How do we get in? Options?
  • Kowalski: I suggest we should dig ourselves inside using shovels, but we could use some more popsicle sticks. We can't risk another cave-in.
  • Private: What if we find ourselves in Antarctica?
  • King Julien: Eh, what are you guys doing?
  • Skipper: We're going to the wide-open spaces of that chapel in the pines. (He points his flipper to the chapel set.)
  • (On the other side of the chapel set, a florist is giving out flowers to some young girls.)
  • Florist: Here you go. (He gives a bouqet of flowers to a young girl. He sees four feminine figures and give four bouqets to each of them.) You must be the new guys, huh?
  • Speak and Spell: Yes. Yes, I am.
  • Florist: Next time, I think you should wear a uniform.
  • Speak and Spell: Okay.
  • (The feminine figures walk past the florist, and when the figures get inside, the suits fall down and reveal their true identities. One figure had (from top to bottom) Patrick (wearing the wig), Mr. Krabs, Gary, and SpongeBob wearing it. Another figure had (from top to bottom) Phineas (wearing a different wig) and Baljeet wearing it. Yet another figure had (from top to bottom) Kowalski's Speak and Spell, Kowalski, Rico, Private, and Skipper wearing it. The final figure had (from top to bottom) Sage, King Julien, Mort, Karl, and Maurice wearing it.)
  • King Julien: Is everybody okay?
  • Phineas: Yes. Yes, we are.
  • Patrick: Skipper, we were like secret agents out there, weren't we?
  • Skipper: Thanks, soldier. Listen up, boys. Our friend Marlene is in trouble. We've got some work to do. (Private takes out a notebook and starts writing in a crayon.) Captain's log: Friday, sometime around the afternoon. We will be splitting into a one-penguin search party. Kowalski, you tunnel your way around the chapel. And while you're at it, make sure to win the hearts and minds of the attendants. Rico, you are to need special tactical equipment, because we might face some great peril. Private, well, you're with me, because you probably won't survive.
  • Private: (breaks a tip off the crayon) What?
  • SpongeBob: Well, that's cool. Patrick and I gonna be with you two for this.
  • King Julien: Maurice, I have a better plan. (He brings out a fossa suit.) You and Karl are going to share a fossa suit to fool everybody into thinking that there is a full-scale fossa attack. When you see Magic Steve, put him in its mouth, okay?
  • Maurice: I don't know about this.
  • King Julien: Mort, Sage, you're with me.
  • Mort: Okey-dokey.
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs and Gary are going to search the chapel.
  • Phineas: You too, Baljeet, and I'm going with you.
  • SpongeBob: Good luck.
  • Baljeet: Likewise, my friends.
  • SpongeBob: And... break!
  • (SpongeBob, Patrick, Phineas, Baljeet, Skipper, Private, King Julien, Mort, and Sage enter a room to search for Sandy, Isabella, Marlene, and Clover.)
  • SpongeBob: Sandy?
  • Phineas: Isabella?
  • Skipper: Marlene?
  • King Julien: Clover?
  • (The room is empty.)
  • Phineas: Where could they possibly be?
  • (Patrick, Baljeet, Private, and Sage notices four tuxedos being hung on four large, wide mirrors.)
  • Patrick: SpongeBob, that's your tuxedo.
  • Baljeet: We can tell because of the square shape that none of us can fit into.
  • Private: Skipper, that's your bow tie.
  • Sage: And these clothes. (The four try to get the tuxedos off the mirror hangers, but they accidentally rotate the mirrors forward, causing them to fall off the frame and break, startling the group. Suddenly, they hear somebody.)
  • Pompeii: (off-screen) I'm not very partial to wearing a tuxedo, am I?
  • Skipper: Sounds like somebody's coming. Hide, everyone!
  • King Julien: Sage, take my tuxedo, and take Magic Steve's place to stall Clover's wedding.
  • Sage: But...
  • King Julien: Now, Sage!
  • (Sage grabs the tuxedo from the frame, and runs off. Private and Mort hide under a chair. Baljeet hides under a table. Patrick jumps down to the floor forwards, making him look like a star-shaped throw rug.)
  • Danvers: (off-screen) Where do we go?
  • (SpongeBob, Phineas, Skipper, and King Julien try to find a good hiding place, but found a bag of Sponge arms, yellow cream, Phineas-shaped helmets, penguin feathers, and lemur-skin furs, which freaks out King Julien. They then grab their clothes from the hangers.)
  • Magic Steve: Weddings. They are so overrated. Am I right?
  • (BlackJack SquarePants passes by the villains.)
  • BlackJack: Hey, good luck on you big day, little man.
  • Hamabra: Do I know you?
  • (The four villains stop at the broken mirrors, where waiting for them are SpongeBob, Phineas, Skipper, and King Julien. It starts with SpongeBob and Hamabra straightening their neck-ties. Then, Phineas and Danvers smirk at each other by turning their heads sideways. Skipper and Pompeii slowly duck down and then pop up giving each other scary faces. King Julien and Magic Steve grab top hats from another hanger on the frame, and put the hats on. They take the hats off, and they both growl menacingly at each other. The fun stops when Ivan enter the room.)
  • Ivan: Guys, what are you doing?
  • Hamabra: We've been looking for you everywhere.
  • Magic Steve: Don't just stand there. Come on in.
  • Danvers: Let's recap our final phase.
  • Hamabra: When the Diamond is stolen and the Channel Chasers are framed, go to the tower bell and ring it ten times.
  • Danvers: And then we will make our getaway from the roof.
  • Ivan: What about you after you and your loved ones get married? We don't want them to know too much.
  • Pompeii: As soon as the girls serve their purpose, we blow them up!
  • Magic Steve: And tomorrow morning, we will have squirrel stew with a side of Hair Bow Ala Carte for appetizers, Roast Otter for our main course, and Lemur Bushmeat for dessert. (The villains laugh maniacally.)
  • Cook Machete: Where do you want this champagne?
  • Hamabra: Just put it on the star-shaped rug.
  • (Cook places the champagne box on Patrick.)
  • Patrick: Oh!
  • Hamabra: Thank you very much.
  • Pompeii: Boys, our favorite show is on.
  • (The villains exit.)
  • (Patrick wriggles his way out from under the box revealing himself flat.)
  • King Julien: Patrick, are you okay?
  • Patrick: Hey, never better.
  • SpongeBob: Good. Now, come on. We have to rescue Sandy, Isabella, Clover, and Marlene!
  • (The group then runs into Detective Gizmo and Vanessa.)
  • Detective Gizmo: The Purple Puma! There you are!
  • Vanessa: And his associates, Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve! Television's dangerous criminals. This mystery is closed.
  • (She turns around to see Detective Gizmo, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, a lei, and sunglasses, with a young girl and a cat.)
  • Detective Gizmo: Perfect. Now that my work here is done, I can finally take my family for a vacation. Farewell. (He and his family leave.)
  • Vanessa: Hey, come back! What about your prisoners?
  • Detective Gizmo: I'm on my break!
  • (So, Vanessa takes SpongeBob, Patrick, Phineas, Ferb, Baljeet, Skipper, Private, King Julien, and Mort inside the Gizmo Roadster. She handcuffs them all.)
  • SpongeBob: But, I'm not Hamabra. I'm SpongeBob.
  • Phineas: Vanessa, you don't understand. I'm Phineas!
  • Vanessa: Tell that to the judge.
  • Skipper: I'm not the penguin you want!
  • King Julien: I've been framed again!
  • Vanessa: You have the right to remain silent, and don't go anywhere!

Scene 57: Birds?

  • (Back in the church with Ivan, Hamabra, Pompeii, Danvers, and Magic Steve...)
  • Hamabra: Now, get this, because we've got something to show you.
  • Danvers: We'd just wanted you to know that we've hired some assistance with this heist.
  • Pompeii: Hey, lower rank, we want you to meet...
  • Magic Steve: The greatest bunch of thieves, thugs, burglars, and crooks.
  • (A door opens to reveal the Seagull Crew.)
  • Seagull 1: What's up? We the Seagull Crew.
  • (Another door opens to reveal Dr. Doofenshmirtz' pigeons, and Frankie.)
  • Frankie: I'm working with the local pigeons from Danville.
  • (The third door opens to reveal Mama Duck and her children, Eggy, Bradley, Ramona, and Samuel.)
  • Mama Duck: Kids, say hello to your new leader.
  • Ducklings: Hello, Mr. Leader.
  • (The last door opens to reveal the Jungle Rooster and a flock of hens.)
  • Jungle Rooster: (crows)
  • Hamabra: Brilliant, aren't I?
  • Pompeii: Nobody would think that birds are capable of stealing the Priceless Diamond.
  • Magic Steve: And the ducklings look so cute, too.
  • (At the sanctuary, everybody is taking their seats.)
  • Craig McLeith: We're back, and everybody is waiting breathlessly for the big wedding game, and co-hosting me is one of the Channel Chasers, Xixi the Toucan.
  • Xixi: Thank you, Craig. I'm Xixi, and I'll be with you for every vow, every bow, every whatever third word that rhymes. We've got some of our own Channel Chasers here tonight, including new-comers like Squilliam Fancyson.
  • Squilliam: Hmm. I wonder where I should sit. I'm gonna need an usher.
  • Xixi: In addition, we also have an alien who came down to Earth for this event, Meap, and the magical old-timey bathing suit that lives in the Himalayas, the Klimpaloon. Ah, any deeds to share?
  • Meap: Meap.
  • Klimpaloon: Nang-nang-nang-nang-nang-nang-nang-nang...
  • Xixi: You heard it here first, folks. But if that weren't enough, we've also got Fred the Squirrel, and Manfredi and Johnson, and it looks like they've been through some rough traveling. Who are you wearing?
  • Manfredi: We don't want to talk about it.
  • Fred: Where should I sit?
  • Xixi: And there's more. King Sage Moondancer, and Zora, who left the Mountain Lemur Kingdom to be with Mort, and the Crocodile Ambassador and his daughter Amy.
  • Sage: Namaste.
  • Zora: Where's Mort?
  • Crocodile Ambassador: Oh, thank you very much. This is nice.
  • Amy: Dad, King Julien is getting married? Why did you bring me here? I should be married! (She punches her father.) I hate you, forevs!
  • Xixi: Ooh, ultra drama!
  • Squilliam Fancyson: (He and Fred approach a man.) Excuse me, sir, are you the usher?
  • Usher: Yes, I am. Are you a sponge, a squirrel, a penguin, an otter, or a lemur?
  • Fred: Isn't it obvious?
  • Usher: One of you is a squirrel, right?
  • Fred: Actually, a sponge. I'm a cousin in law.
  • Squilliam Fancyson: Are you really an usher?
  • (In another part of the church, Ivan uses a map to locate where they're keeping the Rare and Irreplaceable Diamond. He notices a door, along with the seagulls, pigeons, ducklings, and chickens. He approaches the door, dusts up the keyhole, and uses Corpseton's key to unlock it, making the gate unlock.)
  • Ivan: That's your part, my feathered friends.
  • Frankie: Follow me.
  • Jungle Rooster: (clucks)
  • (The birds go through a tunnel, where they break open an access door, leading to a room underneath with a safe inside.)
  • Frankie: Coming down!
  • (The seagulls and pigeons fly down to the room, while the ducklings kick the chickens down to the room. Later, the ducklings use a room so they can climb down to the room. They find the safe door and on the other side, Ivan is waiting. So, the birds for a pyramid to get the door open. The chickens go on the bottom, the seagulls fly on top of the chickens. The pigeons fly on top of the seagulls. Bradley, Samuel, and Ramona hop up top of the pigeons. Eggy sits on top of his siblings. Eggy jumps up to the know and starts opening it.)
  • Ivan: What's taking you so long?
  • Eggy: (struggling)
  • (Eggy tries hard to get the door open, and he successfully did it. The door opens and Ivan comes out.)
  • Kyle: Hi, Mr. Bossman, sir.
  • Pigeons: (cooing)
  • Chickens: (clucking)
  • Ivan: Stop it. Shut up, will you?
  • (Meanwhile, back outside, Sandy, Isabella, Marlene, and Clover (All wearing wedding dresses) are being walked inside. SpongeBob, Phineas, Skipper, and King Julien are surprised.)
  • SpongeBob: Oh, barnacles. The wedding is starting.
  • Phineas: Isabella. She looks so beautiful. (He sheds a tear and wipes it.)
  • Patrick: Oh, I am so confused right now. I really don't know what to do with... (He puts his foot down too hard making a hole from the bottom of the car.)
  • Private: Whoever made this car, it has to be made inadequate.
  • Skipper: I'm not Kowalski, but for a futuristic-looking car, it is starting to become more primitive, like in "The Meatflints."
  • King Julien: That's it. Patrick, start walking this car to the church. We've got some brides to save. (Patrick starts walking the car over to the church.)
  • (All that is happening while Vanessa isn't looking at the Gizmo Roadster being destroyed by Patrick's feet. Instead, she is focusing on Dr. Doofenshmirtz who is zapping the Chicken-Replace-inator at the same chicken he zapped with a stick twice.)
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Do either of you know what's happening to the others?
  • (Agent P and the chicken look at each other and they shrug.)

Scene 58: The Wedding

  • (Back inside the church, taking their seats are SpongeBob's parents, Harold and Margaret.)
  • Margaret: I can't believe it. Our boy is finally getting married. (She notices other attendants taking their seats.) Harold, who are these weird-looking fish?
  • Harold: Either he's made many new friends or we're near a toxic waste dump. Either way, I think I'm gonna be sick. (He gags a bit.)
  • (Also taking their seats are King Julien's parents, Prince Barty and Princess Julienne.)
  • Julienne: I could never be more proud of our son who's agreed to take this step, and his mongrel-blooded subject, Clover, is happy with this too.
  • Barty: It's hard to believe our son is married to that mongrel-blooded Clover of all people.
  • Julienne: And to think we put our monthly mango allowance on hold for this historic event, and also a brief appearance fee.
  • Barty: Oh, good fun.
  • (At another part of the pews, the Fireside Girls are taking their seats.)
  • Ginger: We are very happy for our Fireside Girl troop leader, Isabella.
  • Adyson: Yeah, it's too bad neither of their parents showed up.
  • Gretchen: I'm sure they'll be here any time now.
  • Holly: I wonder where they are.
  • (Just then, Craig McLeith appears at the congregation with Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve.)
  • (Cut to a confessional with Hamabra.)
  • Hamabra: Out of all the days I have had in my life, this one truly is the (in sing-song) best day ever! Make that the ultimate best day ever!
  • (Cut back to the church set...)
  • Craig McLeith: Welcome back, everyone. And now, we shall commence with The Marriage of Epicness. With me are grooms SpongeBob SquarePants, Phineas Flynn, Skipper, and King Julien XIII, all from a recently-formed band called The Channel Chasers. Before the bride comes out to make her promise, we have a special surprise for all the guests, and all of you watching from home. It's time to unveil the ice sculptures that has been finished today, and they are of the couples who will be married on this show, SpongeBob SquarePants and Sandy Cheeks.
  • (The first ice sculpture is unveiled, as the crowd cheers.)
  • Craig McLeith: Phineas Flynn and Isabella Garcia-Shapiro.
  • (The second ice sculpture is unveiled.)
  • Chris McLeith: Wait, why is there a beaver on this sculpture? (It shows an ice-scuplted beaver between Isabella and Phineas.) Skipper and Marlene.
  • (The third ice sculpture is revealed.)
  • Chris McLeith: And finally, King Julien XIII and Clover!
  • (The last ice sculpture is revealed, and the crowd is still going nuts.)
  • Chris McLeith: Isn't it beautiful, folks? (The crowd stops cheering.) These monuments are so special, that it would be hard to sculpt them. As a matter of fact...
  • (An organ starts "Bridal March". Everybody stands up from their seats and turn their directions to Sandy, Isabella, Marlene, and Clover come out from the doors.)
  • Magic Steve: (smiling) Clover.
  • (Sandy, Isabella, Marlene, and Clover walk down the aisle as they take their place beside who they think is their groom. At a balcony above the pews, Nurse Phantom was playing the organ, with Dr. S bursting into tears.)
  • Dr. S: (sobbing) Oh, I'm just so happy for them!
  • Nurse Phantom: Knock it off, will you?
  • Dr. S: Oh, all right. (He blows his nose with his tail.)
  • (Sandy, Isabella, Marlene, and Clover finally reached the altar where Hamabra, Danvers, Magic Steve, and Pompeii were standing.)
  • Clover: Your majesty, do you think it's a little overdone?
  • Magic Steve: No, not at all. In fact, you look perfect just as you are.
  • (Clover smiles at Magic Steve's response. Then, she notices the minister is Craig McLeith.)
  • Clover: I thought Masikura was gonna be the minister.
  • Craig McLeith: Dearly beloved, friends, family, fossa decoys.
  • (At the far back, Pancho and Willie are holding up signs with arrows drawn on them. Pancho's sign says "Eat me!" while Willie's sign says "I'm appetizing!")
  • (Back with Dr. Doofenshmirtz, Vanessa, Agent P, and the chicken, Vanessa turns around to see that the Gizmo Roadster is gone. She takes out a walkie-talkie and runs off from her dad, his nemesis, and the domesticated fowl.)
  • Vanessa: Red alert! We have an emergency! This is not a drill!
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Vanessa, where are you going? I thought we have reunited!
  • (Back inside another part of the church, the Seagull Crew, the pigeons, the ducklings, and the chickens are lined up on the railings and they raise their bottoms and start pooping on the lasers guarding the Rare and Irreplaceable Diamond.)
  • Ivan: Who are you kidding? A laser web? Really? (to Frankie) You go and grab a rope and dark close-fitting garment.
  • (Back outside, Vanessa is calling Detective Gizmo on the walkie-talkie.)
  • Vanessa: Detective Gizmo, return from your vacation and get back to work! The enemy has escaped! Repeat: the enemy has escaped! The Rare and Irreplaceable Diamond might be in danger!
  • (Back inside, lasers were out of control as Ivan (now dressed as a ninja) is being hung on as he glides his way to a button at a higher part of a wall, in which he presses, and then he glides down to the ground to lie down and wait for the lasers to stop and disappear.)
  • (Back at the wedding...)
  • Craig McLeith: We are gathered here today under the sight of the Sky Gods, to join these eight hearts in the bonds of love in holy matrimony.
  • (At the pews, Plankton smiles at Karen. The Crocodile Ambassador looks at Amy and they smile together.)
  • (Hamabra looks at his watch.)
  • (Back with Ivan, he just runs over to the wall with the button and climbs up to it and he uses the pendant stolen from channel 500, and all of a sudden, the lasers have stopped. All of the glass cases keeping all the finest jewelry open up, including the one keeping the Rare and Irreplaceable Diamond. He hastily grabs it from that case.)
  • (Back at the wedding again...)
  • Craig McLeith: Do you, SpongeBob, Phineas, Skipper, and King Julien take Sandy, Isabella, Marlene, and Clover to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love and care for, in good times and bad times, in sickness and health, so help you Sky Gods?
  • Hamabra: I do.
  • Danvers: Yes. Yes, I do.
  • Pompeii: For better, please.
  • Magic Steve: I do.
  • (At the pews, Sage is blubbering, as Xixi pats his back.)
  • Craig McLeith: Do you, Sandy, Isabella, Marlene, and Clover take SpongeBob, Phineas, Skipper, and King Julien to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love and care for, in good times and bad, in sickness and health, so help you Sky Gods?
  • Sandy: I...
  • Isabella: I...
  • Marlene: I...
  • Clover: We...
  • Craig McLeith: Well, do you?
  • Clover: (whispering) Go on, Sandy.
  • Sandy: (gulps)
  • (Everybody at the pews are waiting for her to answer too.)
  • Danvers: (whispering) Just say it. Soon, you will have what you've ever wanted.
  • Sandy: (whispering) Do I have a choice? (She clears her throat.) And how?
  • Craig McLeith: Is that a question.
  • Pompeii: No, it wasn't.
  • (SpongeBob, Patrick, Mr. Krabs, Gary, Phineas, Ferb, Baljeet, Skipper, Kowalski, Private, Rico, King Julien, Maurice, Mort, Karl, and Chauncey meet up at the underfloor.)
  • Skipper: All right, boys. Go time! Go! Go! Go!
  • SpongeBob: What are we gonna do now?
  • Phineas: Yeah, I need to get closer to Isabella.
  • (Patrick finds some levers and buttons.)
  • Patrick: Hey, what does this button do?
  • Kowalski: No, wait!
  • (Patrick presses a button.)
  • Kowalski: D'oh! I was supposed to do that!
  • (Back at the altar, the grooms fall down into the underfloor, as a piece of hardwood floor carries SpongeBob, Phineas, Skipper, and King Julien up to the wedding, surprising everybody.)
  • Sandy: What in tarnation?
  • SpongeBob: Sandy, it's me. SpongeBob.
  • Skipper: Skipper here. Come on, Marlene.
  • King Julien: Clover, we must go now. The wedding is off, the party is on.
  • Tammy: I'm impressed. Who knew they were having cold feet?
  • Pinky: Skipper is a penguin. He's supposed to have cold feet.
  • (Back in the underfloor, Hamabra, Pompeii, Danvers, and Magic Steve get up and look at Patrick, Mr. Krabs, Gary, Baljeet, Ferb, Kowalski, Rico, Private, Maurice, Mort, Karl, and Chauncey.)
  • Patrick: Gotta go! (the good guys run off.)
  • Isabella: Phineas, what's with you?
  • Phineas: I'll tell you about it later. Right now, we have to go.
  • Isabella: I don't believe this.
  • Pompeii: Get back here!
  • (From the underfloor, Hamabra's hand takes SpongeBob's leg and takes him. Danvers' hand takes Phineas' leg and takes him. Pompeii's flipper grabs Skipper's foot and takes him. Magic Steve's hand grabs King Julien's foot and takes him as well.)
  • Marlene: Hey, come back here.
  • (Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve get up from the underfloor.)
  • Pompeii: I humbly apologize for this inconvenience.
  • Marlene: What is this wedding coming to?!
  • (Kowalski, Private, and Rico use a rope as a swing to grab the lookalikes.)
  • Kowalski, Private, and Rico: Gotcha!
  • (As the penguins reach the other side, they let go of the villains, dropping them into a net trap closing on them. Rico jumps off the rope and lands near Gary, Karl, and Chauncey who pull the rope attached to the net trap.)
  • Private: All right, Rico. Start pulling!
  • Magic Steve: What's happening?
  • Rico: (laughs)
  • Gary: Meow.
  • Rube: Amazing! (He takes a photograph of the mayhem.)
  • King Julien: Listen to me, Clover! I'm the real King Julien!
  • Skipper: Ring-Tail...
  • (Pompeii nibbles through the net trap.)
  • King Julien: And Magic Steve is a total poseur!
  • Skipper: STALL NOW!
  • King Julien: Attention, all attendants! This wedding must be stopped at once, for this displeases me, and probably all of you secretly!
  • Isabella: This is so embarrassing.
  • King Julien: Unless you obey, all of you will be severely punished!
  • (At the net trap, Hamabra uses his buzz-saw arm to cut through the net trap.)
  • Hector: I'm calling it! The grooms are insane!
  • Tom: Let's get them!
  • (Danvers looks up above the net trap, and starts aiming his beam at the top, causing the net trap to fall.)
  • King Julien: (screams) Stop this! You will only receive more punishment!
  • (The fish attendants raise their pitchforks and torches to start a riot. But when they get closer to the altar, the net lands on the four good guys, causing everyone to gasp in shock. The four good guys, along with their doppelgangers, all get up off the floor.)
  • Sandy, Isabella, Marlene, and Clover: Ohhhhhh!
  • Mrs. Puff: There are two SpongeBobs?
  • Irving: And two Phineas'? (He faints.)
  • Barry: Two Skippers?
  • Masikura: And two King Juliens? This would explain everything.
  • Sandy: There is no way I'm marrying two SpongeBobs.
  • Isabella: I can't marry two Phineas'.
  • Marlene: This is the most productive way of ruining a wedding.
  • Clover: Great. Two King Juliens.
  • SpongeBob: No, Sandy. You'll only need on SpongeBob, and that's me.
  • Hamabra: No, ignore the little cube. I am SpongeBob SquarePants! I am! I am! I am! I am! I am!
  • Phineas: That's ridiculous! I'm Phineas Flynn!
  • Danvers: No, I'm Phineas Flynn! You're just the imposter.
  • King Julien: No, you are the imposter! Because I always have been King Julien. I always will be.
  • Magic Steve: No, I'm the real King Julien, and I'm gonna prove it to you.
  • Pompeii: Cute and ugly, boys! Cute and ugly!
  • Skipper: Cute and ugly? It's cute and cuddly!
  • Sandy: Will y'all just pipe down?! I'm gonna settle this dispute. First SpongeBob, will you marry me?
  • Hamabra: Yes. Of course I want to marry you. I have a jet waiting for us.
  • Isabella: First Phineas, will you marry me?
  • Danvers: Yes. Yes, I will.
  • Marlene: First Skipper, will you marry me?
  • Pompeii: Yes, and when we get to our honeymoon, you just leave the rest to me.
  • Clover: First King Julien, will you marry me?
  • Magic Steve: Yes, please.
  • Sandy: And now, the second SpongeBob, Phineas, Skipper, and King Julien.
  • Isabella, Marlene, Clover, and Sandy: Will you marry us?
  • SpongeBob: Well, I'd love to, I mean I would, it's not that I don't want to right now, but...
  • Phineas: Aren't we a little too young to get married?
  • Skipper: Marlene, that is top secret information that is between you and me.
  • King Julien: Ehhhhhhh...
  • Clover: Turn around and show me your...
  • King Julien: But, Clover, I... (She grabs his tail to see his booty.)
  • Clover: Those are the bite marks, all right. But, I don't understand. Wait. I do.
  • Sandy: That's who we want to marry!
  • (The attendants cheer as Sandy hugs SpongeBob, Isabella kisses Phineas repetitively, and Marlene and Skipper high-five each other.)
  • Ted: Hooray! Let's hear it for the happy couple!
  • Burt: That's our Skipper!
  • Buford: Congratulations, Dinner-Bell!
  • Squidward: Great. Whatever.
  • Clover: King Julien, he... HE'S MAGIC STEVE, EVERYBODY! (Her voice echoes through the church set, and the bell tolls. Hamabra removes the yellow paint to reveal his boil. Danvers takes off the Phineas helmet-head system to expose his long hair, Pompeii plucks up his feather on his head, and Magic Steve takes off his lemur-skin coat to reveal his tuxedo.)
  • Hamabra: Yes, it's all true, weaklings. I'm Hamabra, the creepily-faced living sponge from "O-M-POW!", #1 most wanted inanimate object, and much more absorbent, yellow, and porous than that SpongeBob character.
  • Danvers: I am Danvers, the un-aged human antagonist from "Diver Sun" who is much more of a genius than Phineas is, even smarter.
  • Pompeii: I'm Pompeii, the villain from "Darby: Way Behind Ya!", the roguest penguin in the world, and I have more penguin than Skipper does.
  • Magic Steve: And I am Magic Steve, who has returned back from the dead, appearing on "The RogueRuff Girls", and I will become the new king of not only Madagascar or the TV Universe, but also the entire world!
  • Hamabra: And we have come to say one last word to all of you, you idiots!
  • All four: Thanks for tuning in!
  • (Hamabra presses a button, as he and his associates laugh maliciously, as a giant ship hovers over the church set.)
  • Masikura: What is it?!
  • SpongeBob: It's a mothership!
  • Roger Doofenshmirtz: Wait! No, no, no, no, no! Stop, please! No, no, no, no, no! Please, don't... Oh.
  • (The ship stops above the ice sculptures of the couples.)
  • Larry: Phew.
  • Jenny: That was close.
  • Leonard: Yeah, it was.
  • Becca: I'll say.
  • Roger Doofenshmirtz: That was close, wasn't it, people?
  • (Then, the ship starts crushing the ice sculptures.)
  • Roger Doofenshmirtz: Oh no. No, no, no, no, no! You're destroying it!
  • Ginger: Oh my.
  • Scooter: This can't be cool, dude.
  • Buck Rockgut: Oh dear.
  • Crocodile Ambassador: No! You are destroying it! I mean, do you have any idea how long and hard it took me to work on these? Why?!
  • (The attendants were shocked and horrified. Many were crying, and all were holding back tears, except for Barty and Julienne.)
  • Roger Doofenshmirtz: No! Don't destroy Beaver Pete? Why did they add him to the ice sculpture? Why DID they add him to the ice sculpture?
  • (The ship stops as it reached Beaver Pete wearing a tuxedo in the Phineas and Isabella ice sculpture.)
  • Roger Doofenshmirtz: Phew.
  • Charlton Hawkfish: Hey, it stopped.
  • Suzy: That was a close one.
  • Joey: I agree.
  • MomBot: Yeah.
  • (But, the ship continues landing and crushing Beaver Pete anyways.)
  • Roger Doofenshmirtz: Beaver Pete! Why?!
  • (The attendants (except Barty and Julienne) continue bawling (maybe the Crocodile Ambassador the hardest) as the ship continues its landing. Sandals stops crying for a moment.)
  • Sandals: Hey! (The others stop crying.) That's a spaceship.
  • Crowd: Ooh.
  • Hamabra: Come out, my minions!
  • (The ship's door opens to reveal evil robotic versions of Patrick, Sandy, Squidward, Mr. Krabs, Plankton, Gary, Mrs. Puff, Pearl, Larry, Mermaid Man, Barnacle Boy, Ferb, Isabella, Candace, Baljeet, Buford, Linda, Lawrence, Agent P, Major Monogram, Carl, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, Vanessa, Jeremy, Stacy, Irving, Norm, Kowalski, Rico, Private, Maurice, Mort, Clover, Marlene, Phil, Mason, Bada, Bing, Burt, Roy, Pinky, Joey, Ted, Dorothy, Willie, Horst, Hector, Pancho, Sage, Karl, Chauncey, Xixi, Masikura, Timo, Mary Ann, Crimson, and Zora. One of the robots is carrying the giant plant.)
  • Hamabra: Now, you crybabies, bow down before us!
  • Danvers: Or when it's ready, bow down before our Super-Mega Cheese-Stinky Plant of Doom!
  • Phineas: (off-screen) I object, your honor!
  • (Pan to a balcony above the pews where SpongeBob, Patrick, Sandy, Mr. Krabs, Gary, Phineas (using a PA system), Ferb, Isabella, Baljeet, Skipper, Kowalski, Rico, Private, Marlene, King Julien, Maurice, Mort, Clover, Karl, and Chauncey are sitting.)
  • Phineas: Well, not necessarily. Nobody breathe.
  • SpongeBob: If anybody breathes, the Super-Mega Cheese-Stinky Plant of Doom will worsen.
  • Skipper: And believe us when we say this, it is not too good for you.
  • Magic Steve: What the..
  • Hamabra: How did you escape our shows?
  • King Julien: Some friends of ours had to rescue us and convince us that we're you.
  • Baljeet: Yeah, you morons! We had to put on a play and escaped by using a prop, and we fell out of it by mistake, and then we used Buford's canoe that I stole from him so we can stop the wedding and defeat you! Thanks to a diversion I learned from Space Adventure episode 436B! Eat DVD of cancelled TV show, you villains from other cancelled TV shows! (He places the PA system back.)
  • Buford: I believe it sounds better if you were daydreaming.
  • Baljeet: No, I didn't.
  • Skipper: All that gave us time to buy so we can stop you with immense magnitude, literally!
  • (Timo drives down the aisle on the penguins' car with artillery attachments.)
  • Magic Steve: Oh, dear. What do we do?
  • Hamabra: You, destroy that thing!
  • (The robotic Patrick opens its head to reveal a cannon shooting at the penguins' car's attachments, causing them all to fall apart.)
  • Timo: Well, at least it's just a model. (Just as the car gets closer to the evil lookalikes, robot Patrick shoots at the entire car destroying it.) The penguins are gonna kill me!
  • Isabella: Guys, watch out!
  • (The robot lookalikes open their chests to reveal a collection of their real deals' possessions, including Irving's UPAFDS, Private's Princess Self Respectra doll, Horst's beverage, and even the Krabby Patty secret formula.)
  • Irving: He's got my UPAFDS!
  • Private: And he's got Princess Self Respectra!
  • Horst: My beverage!
  • Plankton: Worse. They even got the Krabby Patty Formula!
  • Mr. Krabs: I was afraid of this!
  • (Hamabra extends his cyborg arms and legs and grabs the balcony as he comes after his alter ego. Danvers unleashes a laser beam from his hand. Pompeii fires a cannon at the balcony as they both destroy it, as the good guys jump off it and run away screaming.)
  • (The attendants start to panic.)
  • Burt: Everybody run!
  • Woman: My watermelon!
  • (The good guys who have escaped the balcony make a run for it.)
  • Hamabra: Magic Steve, do you have the sign?
  • Magic Steve: I got this. Prepare to be amazed. (He folds his hands, and opens them up to reveal a flag reading "Caution: Dangerous Plant!") Ta-da!
  • Hamabra: Soak it all in, my pet. Keep growing!
  • (The attendants are scrambling around as Stacy, Jenny, and Coltrane head for the reception buffet where they see Jeremy.)
  • Stacy: Jeremy, you have to help us fight against the robotic doppelgänger invasion.
  • Jeremy: There's a robotic doppelgänger invasion?
  • (Back in the sanctuary, SpongeBob, Sandy, Phineas, Isabella, Skipper, Marlene, King Julien, Clover, and the others are running from robotic versions of Sandy, Isabella, Marlene, and Clover. They hide under a pew.)
  • Phineas: Ferb, we found Isabella. Now, we gotta rescue Candace.
  • Isabella: You do that, and I'll interfere with them.
  • Buford: Yeah, and it just happens that I'm an old hand at interfering.
  • (SpongeBob, Patrick, Sandy, Mr. Krabs, Gary, Isabella, Buford, Baljeet, the penguins, Marlene, King Julien, Maurice, Mort, Clover, Karl, and Chauncey hop on a golf cart with Buford's canoe roped to it, as they start attacking their robot lookalikes.)
  • Buford and Baljeet: How do you like your canoe, lookalikes?
  • (The canoe hits a Buford robot, and then a Baljeet robot.)
  • Buford: I can't believe I'm using it again for the first time.
  • Isabella: Yeah, I have made you a patch.
  • (More lookalike robots get attacked as Phineas and Ferb enter the ship.)

Scene 59: Saving Candace

  • (Inside the ship, Candace is worse condition, and is still walking. Inside with her is the android Karl.)
  • Karl Android: Lieutenant, you are not going to believe this?
  • Patrick Android: Yes, android Candace?
  • Karl Android: Our leader has put Candace in hostage for the rest of the televised tour.
  • Patrick Android: Really? That's lighthearted.
  • Karl Android: Of course, it is. She's feeling so much burn.
  • Patrick Android: I can tell.
  • Karl Android: I gotta say, it is a success.
  • Patrick Android: It is becoming very noisy outside. I think we might be under attack.
  • Karl Android: You're gonna be under attack? Oh my. By who? (He watches the monitors.) Oh yes. I can see you. You really are in danger. Nice job. You're doing real brave. Way to fight back.
  • (Candace sees her brothers going inside the ship in one of the monitors.)
  • Candace: They're back? But how did they return from a very long stroll?
  • Karl Android: Something else is happening. I wonder what's going on over on the left monitor.
  • Candace: Excuse me, Mr. Karldroid?
  • Karl Android: My real name is Gus.
  • Candace: My mistake. Yeah, my feet hurt. I would very much like to make more energy if you could just make this thing go a little bit slower.
  • Karl Android: Uh, sir, I'm gonna call you back, okay? (He hangs up and goes to Candace.) Okay, I am gonna straighten your walker. You're gonna need a lot of energy or I will not get the pro... (Candace crushes the robot Irving with her rowing seat.) Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! It hurts so terribly! Why are you doing this to me? I've never felt this much pain in my whole life!
  • (With that, Candace stops rowing and crushes robot Karl completely. She takes her hands off the bar.)
  • Karl Android: The pain feels much worse now! (The seat squeezes Robot Karl so hard that he eventually gets sent flying all over the room, that he bursts out through the window.)
  • (Candace gets off of the rowing machine, panting. She closes the window.)
  • Phineas: Candace?
  • Candace: Phineas? Ferb?
  • Phineas: There you are!
  • (Candace smiles warmly for a bit, as Phineas comes closer to give her a hug, but her smile didn't last long, for she began to burst into tears again. She runs away bawling.)
  • Phineas: Candace, come back! (to Ferb) What's with her now?
  • (Phineas and Ferb walk over to Candace who is crying her eyes out.)
  • Phineas: Are you okay, Candace?
  • Candace: (through tears) I just feel so upset. I can't imagine that you two are here to rescue me since my crude actions to you. After all I've done and tried and failed throughout an amazing summer. I just felt like ruining all the fun.
  • Phineas: What does that mean?
  • Candace: I'm not wanted. I'm not special. I'm not a good sister either. Maybe you two should just go on without me.
  • (Ferb shows Candace the gift-wrapped present.)
  • Phineas: Candace, you really gotta open this gift.
  • Candace: What gift? You mean to tell me you're giving me a gift, and I won't open it? I'm so unhappy.
  • Phineas: Candace, just open it.
  • (Candace gets up and opens the gift, which is a sippy cup with a picture of Phineas, Ferb, and Candace on it, and also a star that says "Candace, You're Our Favorite Sister.")
  • Candace: You got me a sippy cup? But, I'm not a kid anymore! I'm a failure!
  • Phineas: Wait. There's more, if you press the button.
  • (Candace pushes the button on the star, and the sippy cup lid opens to reveal a projector showing projections of every heartwarming moments Candace has shared with her brothers throughout the summer.)
  • Candace: What's this?
  • Phineas: These are all the things that make you the most amazing person we've ever known. You fight back, you rock and roll, and you make us laugh, even when that kind of laughter squirts liquid from the nose. We wouldn't have a great summer without you. Why, we think you are the best sister we ever had. You are not wanted.
  • Ferb: But, you are wanted to be a good sister all the way through.
  • Candace: (bursting into happy tears) Oh, thank you, guys. I just can't thank you enough for being better little brothers. And you know something? I know what we're gonna do today! We're saving not only television, but also the world.
  • Phineas: Now, you're talking.
  • Candace: (She sees the monitors.) Now, we have to find a way to defeat the unaged antagonist of "Diver Sun", Diver Danvers. Wait, today's not wedding day. (She notices Isabella wearing a wedding dress.) Or is it?

Scene 60: From Wedding to War

  • (Back at the church set, the Super-Mega Cheese-Stinky Plant of Doom has rose to perfection.)
  • Hamabra: At last, the Super-Mega Cheese-Stinky Plant of Doom has grown to perfection!
  • (The Super-Mega Cheese-Stinky Plant of Doom sprouts out some ivy from the bulb.)
  • Phineas: Everybody, put on your gas masks, and fast!
  • (The gang put on their gas masks to avoid the smell, but the smell hits the other Channel Chasers, causing them to cough.)
  • (The bulb releases the ivy, affecting almost everybody, except for those who are wearing gas masks. At the reception room, Stacy is looking at a spear.)
  • Stacy: What's this?
  • (Jeremy gives gas masks to Coltrane and Jenny.)
  • Jeremy: Here. Wear these. This goes for you too, Stacy. (He gives a gas mask to her. She wears it.)
  • Stacy: But why... (She notices a costume.) Since when did you start role-playing for live-action movies?
  • Jeremy: Stacy, we don't have time for all this. We have to go.
  • Coltrane: We need to go now.
  • Stacy: You're beginning live-action roleplay for real, which explains the spear.
  • Jenny: Stacy, I say this as a good friend of yours, but I think that we should have to go and save our friends.
  • Stacy: Have you ever considered playing the royal trubador? You know, writing songs and playing a lute?
  • Jeremy: Let's not tell this to Candace.
  • Stacy: What are we waiting for? Let's get out of here. We've got some lookalikes to defeat.
  • Others: (groan in disgust)
  • (Back at the sanctuary, Ted was crying again.)
  • Ted: Oh, golly! The smell is so bad, that I have lost my nose! Has anybody seen my nose? I can't find it! Can't even... (He feels his bare wet rhinary on his face.) Oh. There it is.
  • Dorothy: Really, Ted?
  • (Sandy becomes exhausted from beathing android doubles. She punches her android double, until someone kicked her flat. It was Patrick. She growls at him, causing him to run away screaming.)
  • Patrick: AAH! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
  • (She looks in a multitiude of directions and sees Squidward running with his eyes burning, Nosey, the Lake Nose Monster falling flat and causing an explosion, Becky Badger crying over the loss of her sister Stacy, Ted trying to reach a bag of beans, and finally, SpongeBob, Phineas, Ferb, Candace, the penguins, King Julien, Maurice, and Mort being cornered by android doubles. She immediately gets up and grabs them, along with Marlene and Clover, just as an android Clover attacks.)
  • Sandy: We have to get out of here right now.
  • Candace: Likewise, I'm sure.
  • Skipper: No can do. If we leave, the whole world will think of me as world-famous criminal mastermind! (Some lasers shot at him and King Julien.)
  • King Julien: I'm fine with that. Everybody run! We surrender! Retreat!
  • (The rest of the Channel Chasers responded by running away and screaming in retreat.)
  • Pompeii: They're getting away!
  • Danvers: How are we gonna stop them? Wait, we can't!
  • Magic Steve: You're right. We should just let them get away!
  • Hamabra: And soon, we will have nothing more than ashes, come morning.
  • (Outside of the church set, almost everyone appears to be injured. Several creatures, animals, and monsters were being put in mobile hospital beds, as Nurse Phantom takes them to Dr. S, so that he can fix them.)
  • Dr. S: Saw. (Nurse Phantom gives Dr. S the chainsaw.) Suture. (Nurse Phantom gives Dr. S some sutures.) Electic eel! (Nurse Phantom gives Dr. S an electric eel from "Enchanted Tiki Dreams," and Dr. S uses it on the eel from "Walking Small.")
  • SpongeBob: What have I done? I had to agree with Ivan to start this tour to begin with.
  • Phineas: Wait. Don't be upset, SpongeBob. I was the one who started this just to get my sister, and her friend, when they were abducted into the TV.
  • Skipper: No. It wasn't either of your fault. I'm the one who said we should go out to perform on television shows.
  • King Julien: No. It was me. I had to. I literally wanted to make my kingdom come with me.
  • SpongeBob: Well, if any one of us sacrifices ourselves free, maybe, our evil doppelgangers would let everybody else out of television, while I wish these remote controls never existed, and everybody forgot that all of this ever happened.
  • Mr. Krabs: Well, we were the ones who talked you into it.
  • (Baljeet, Private, and Mort nod.)
  • Sandy: Besides, these rascals were just confused that you ruined the wedding.
  • Isabella: They won't rest until they have vengeance on us all.
  • Mort: Let me talk to them. They particularly think I'm a God.
  • Maurice: Nobody thinks of you as a God, Mort.
  • Private: But, what can we do?
  • SpongeBob: Who am I kidding? Phineas, we're not meant to be ambassadors of the TV Universe.
  • Private and Clover: What?
  • Phineas: But why?
  • Skipper: And I'm not that good of being a leader either.
  • King Julien: And to think that I only had the honor of being king is because my uncle wants me to be eaten by the fossa. And worse of all, I didn't get to perform magic tricks to the demographics. (sobbing)
  • Phineas: Oh, good grief. If anybody wants to disagree. Now would be the perfect time.
  • Candace: If Isabella and Sandy are right, which in retrospect isn't important, our only option now is to stand up and fight against television's greatest criminals.
  • SpongeBob: But how? I mean, they're just much more powerful.
  • King Julien: Yeah. Magic Steve is even more powerful than my uncle.
  • Private: Maybe not.
  • Skipper: What are you saying?
  • Private: They are much more powerful when working together to steal television's greatest treasures.
  • Clover: But on the other hand, they're only one team.
  • Private: And us, we have people... (He points at Buford, Baljeet, Irving, and the Fireside Girls.) And we have animals... (He points at Burt, Bada, Bing, Joey, Pinky, Shelly, the Crocodile Amabassador, Amy, Pearl, and Craig Mammalton.) We've also got monsters... (He points at Rraargh, the Trench Monsters, the Cave Dwellers, the Goozim, and Nosey.) And robots... (He points at Karen, Norm, and MomBot.) And aliens too. (He points at Meap, the Tentacle Beast, and the Inexplicable Giant Floating Baby Head.)
  • Meap: Meap.
  • Clover: That's right. We are one big happy family. All we need now is four people to unite us all. Make that five. No, six. (She looks at SpongeBob, Phineas, Ferb, Skipper, Private, and King Julien.) We share a common interest and team together. If I pick a day to die, it's gonna happen when I fight for you, your majesty.
  • King Julien: Me?
  • Clover: All I can give to you is your life. In fact, I'm going to share my life with you six.
  • Candace: Therefore, Clover, the only thing I'm ever going to give my life to is not only my brothers, but also to you and your little friends. (She bows to Clover, King Julien, Skipper, Private, SpongeBob, Phineas, and Ferb.)
  • Patrick: Me too, best buddy forever. (He bows to Clover, King Julien, Skipper, Private, Phineas, Ferb, and SpongeBob.)
  • Rico: Uh-huh. (He and Kowalski bow to Clover, King Julien, Phineas, Ferb, SpongeBob, Skipper, and Private.)
  • Mort: I wouldn't want my life to be a trillion times worthless if it weren't for your feet. (He bows to Skipper, Private, SpongeBob, Phineas, Ferb, Clover, and King Julien.)
  • (Pretty soon, every single Channel Chaser, whether it be a human, animal, monster, alien, robot, whatever, starts to bow for SpongeBob, Phineas, Ferb, Skipper, Private, King Julien, and Clover.)
  • Phineas: What in the world?
  • Maurice: King Julien, I believe you have become the kings of the TV Universe.
  • (SpongeBob, Phineas, Ferb, Skipper, Private, King Julien, and Clover look around at everybody bowing.)
  • SpongeBob: (tearing up) I guess that I really am the secret to the Krabby Patty formula, not like the one that those hoity-toity android doubles stole.
  • King Julien: Clover, should I get a bigger crown? How about some more of those business cards?
  • (Ferb walks up to the other side of the crowd. He grabs a microphone from Masikura.)
  • Ferb: Listen everybody, we are against an enemy who is admittedly unstoppable. Television's most hurtful characters are powerful and they are very good at control. On the contrary, none of us are.
  • Candace: What is he going on about?
  • Squidward: We're about to find out.
  • Ferb: We come from different places and we have no similarities to each other. But the fact is, that's what makes us unique. If we all work together and mind each other's differences, we will be invincible. Why? Because our foes' only strength is their physical strength itself. But, we, we happy lot, come together over land and sea, even in the farthest regions of space, and none of us are alone.
  • Timo: Skipper! I hate to break this to you, but they broke your car!
  • Skipper: Those fiends.
  • Phineas: Not to worry. Ferb and I are gonna help you remake your car of immense magnitude which will attract bombs. (He brings out a blow torch and a jar of peanut butter they got from "Diver Sun.")
  • Ferb: That is exactly what I mean. My friends, neighbors, and other things, we stand together under one freak flag. One world under the Sky Gods. With liberty and hummus for all. (Mort brings out a huge flag with with interests of the gang's passions, particularly King Julien's feet.) Tonight, we shall not cease until we take back what is rightfully owned!
  • (Everybody cheers wildly, and some were smiling warmly.)
  • (Back inside the church, Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve's robot army are lined up in front of their masters.)
  • Hamabra: Our uncanny army, get the lay of the land and fetch us those brides, and then you will destroy the rest of the Channel Chasers. There isn't much hiding places available.
  • (They hear rumbling noise coming from outside. The doors swing open to reveal SpongeBob, Patrick, Candace (riding on Burt), Marlene, Phil, Mason, King Julien, Maurice, Mort, and Clover coming out.)
  • Pompeii: There they are! That's them.
  • Magic Steve: That's too bad. I was kind of hoping of making them all disappear with an enormous chiffon handkerchief.
  • SpongeBob: The jig is up, Hamabra.
  • Candace: I'm running this show in an attempt for you to give up!
  • Danvers: Give up? What are we giving up?
  • Candace: Well, the painting of Captain Terrence Corpseton from the world of "The Snarfs" on channel 301, the futuristic key from the seas of "Gibbertooth" on channel 400, Corpseton's pendant from the land of "Marvin and the Marmots" on channel 500, and pretty much a lot of our possessions your robot army stole from the real world.
  • (Hamabra and Magic Steve look at each other.)
  • King Julien: Let's make a deal. Supposing you crawl closer to us on your bellies to kiss our kingly grits... (He shows Mort hugging his feet, then he knocks his subject down with his keytar.) And grovel in forgiveness, we will let you return to your respective shows in one peace. (He strums his keytar a bit.)
  • Hamabra: Are you extremely crazy, or are you beyond stupid?
  • (The lookalike army release deadly weapons from their various body parts.)
  • Candace: You must be joking. We are actually both. Hit it, DJ Glitterbunz!
  • (From the far back, Horst is behind a turntable while scratching on a record.)
  • Horst: D-D-D-DJ Glitterbunz! It's a backwards invasion, you snitches!
  • (The lookalike army look from the left to the right. Cave Dwellers come out from behind the door. Animal agents pop up from the balcony. Chameleons (including Masikura and Maggie the Unwashed) appear from the pews. Clover and Sage burst through the doors in front of the whole crowd of Channel Chasers, as they punch on her lookalike robot.)
  • Hamabra: I was afraid you were gonna take this the sort of hard with a touch of awkward really difficult challenging way. Robot army, attack! (The robot lookalikes charge against the Channel Chasers.)
  • (Norm, Rico, and Pancho are holding big black spheres, as their robot lookalikes are about to attack them with bombs loaded from their cyborg arms.)
  • Rico Lookalike: Kaboom!
  • Pancho: Did somebody say kaboom?
  • (The black spheres break open and reveal aye-ayes releasing their musk glands and screeching while doing so, causing the lookalike Norm, Rico, and Pancho to pass out and they got hit by pieces of the spheres.)
  • Rico: Kaboom!
  • (Little Suzy Johnson releases her pet poodle (in which Meap is riding on) who bites Candace's robot lookalike on the behind. Meap jumps off and barfs a rainbow the Candace lookalike's face. Clover arrives with Mort.)
  • Clover: You can't start a fight without me. (She uses Mort to attack some more robot lookalikes.)
  • (Todd stares at the Norm, Bada, Bing, and Zora lookalike robots, who stop and glare at his innocent face. Suddenly, Todd exposes his "war face" at them, and starts to attack. Tammy and Butterfish were watching from the balcony.)
  • Tammy: TODD! Mama's proud of you, baby.
  • Butterfish: Let's get to work. (The Alaskan Bull Worm jumps down to the Kowalski, Rico, and Private robot lookalikes, knocking them like bowling pins.)
  • Alaskan Bull Worm: Ouch.
  • (Masikura, Maggie, and a few other chameleons are cornered by robot Dr. Doofenshmirtz, Joey, Pearl, and Mary Ann. Then, the chameleons all fade away just as the robot lookalikes start to destroy them, that they robots hit heads with each other. From above, the Seagull Crew fly in carrying the Jungle Rooster and assorted hens, while Dr. Doofenshmirtz' pigeons carry the ducklings, and dropping them down to the ground so they can attack the Todd lookalike. The seagulls and pigeons proceed to poop on various robot lookalikes, and the chickens lay eggs on the robots. The eggs hatch revealing baby chicks, who start attacking the robot lookalikes. Candace rides on Burt as he hits his robot lookalike and the chimps' robot lookalikes. King Julien uses his keytar to put on some conga music and smack the chimp lookalikes.)
  • King Julien: Congaga!
  • Candace: We are on a roll now!
  • (Robot Stacy and Jeremy are holding a rope which causes Burt to trip and Candace to fall off of. After Candace lands roughly, Burt falls on her. He hears muffled shouting, so he gets up and sees Candace lying flat.)
  • Burt: Sorry, Candace. I didn't see you there.
  • (The indian elephant and the human both turn to see robot lookalikes of herself, Stacy, Jeremy, and Ted cornering them. Suddenly, a lemur who looks like Ted, but with a mustache, a leaf for an eyepatch, and a vest drops down to attack the robots.)
  • Burt: Thanks, Ted.
  • Candace: Yeah, that really saved us.
  • Snake: I ain't Ted. I'd heard you guys were looking for Snake.
  • Candace: Who?
  • Burt: Where? (He turns to see various snakes (including Dr. S) chasing the Mort lookalike.)
  • (Snake turns around to actually be revealed as Ted.)
  • Ted: Fooled you! (laughs) Snake is actually my imaginary friend. I'm the actual real Ted.
  • (Patrick runs in and kicks the Sandy robot. Mr. Krabs chases the robot Plankton, while the real Plankton chases the robot Mr. Krabs.)
  • Mr. Krabs: Come back here with me secret formular!
  • Plankton: Weren't you supposed to be created by me? Open your head so I can control you!
  • (SpongeBob blows a bubble on the robot Patrick and Squidward, which puts them inside and floats up. Suddenly, Hamabra whacks SpongeBob with a club, causing the real deal to fall flat. He sees his evil lookalike.)
  • Hamabra: That was very bold of you. I should apologize, but as a bad guy... (He feels some ground shaking, and turns to see Rraargh, the Trench Monsters, the Cave Dwellers, the Kraken and her baby, the studious Sea Monster, the Goozim, and Nosey rampaging and attacking Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve, and tossing them into a wall.)
  • Rraargh: Rraargh!
  • SpongeBob: (laughs)
  • Hamabra: Launch cannons on the monsters!
  • (The lookalike Norm reveals all of the real Norm's weaponry, only bigger, and starts aiming at the monsters and releasing giant cannonballs on them. Fortunately, the bigger monsters eat the cannonballs. Rraargh then starts shooting ice cubes from his pores and starts filling the cannons until they have frozen up. The Norm robot's head shows a camera. Nosey sees this and starts eating not only that, but also, the head.)
  • SpongeBob: Now, that is a powerful sea monster.
  • Studious Sea Monster: And to think that all of this studying for science and literature really paid off.
  • (The monsters continue attacking the robot lookalikes. Plankton's cousins start attacking the robot Plankton. Gary leaves a trail of slime causing some more robot lookalikes to slip on it.)
  • SpongeBob: We're really winning! We're gonna be famous!
  • King Julien: I'll say. I shouldn't have never had my doubts.
  • Danvers: This can't be happening!
  • (More rumbling happens, as Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve turn to see that a walls is collapsing to make way for a colossal vehicle. Phil is inside driving it.)
  • Mason: (gasps) EGAD! PHIL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE?!
  • (Phil waves at Mason from inside.)
  • Mason: PHIL, GET OFF OF THAT THING NOW!
  • Kowalski: Don't worry, Mason. He's just driving the branding Bomb Attractor of Immerse Magnitude helping us defeat those rustbuckets, and we're having Phil as our test monkey.
  • (Timo presses a button on a remote that controls the Bomb Attractor, causing it to sound off some alarms, as it attracts Sandy's ring, Isabella's ring, Marlene's ring, Clover's ring, and all of the robot lookalikes. The rings reveal to have a timer counting down to the girls' demise.)
  • Sandy: What in the world?
  • (Suddenly, the four girls' rings got magnetized into the Bomb Attractor, dragging them along with them.)
  • Phineas: Wait a second, why is Isabella's ring attached to the Bomb Attractor of Immerse Magnitude?
  • Ferb: It turns out that the wedding rings are actually bombs.
  • Skipper: Come on, boys. We gotta rescue Marlene.
  • (SpongeBob and King Julien stop fighting and hurry to the Bomb Attractor.)
  • SpongeBob: Come on, King Julien. We've got to save Sandy!
  • King Julien: I'm coming, Clover!
  • (The girls try to get the rings off of their fingers, and that is when SpongeBob, Phineas, Ferb, Skipper, Kowalski, Rico, Private, and King Julien approach the vehicle.)
  • SpongeBob: You guys, grab Sandy and her friends.
  • King Julien: And you guys, grab us.
  • Skipper: Everybody pull!
  • (Mr. Krabs, Patrick, Mermaid Man, Karen, and Pearl line up behind SpongeBob. Plankton, Mrs. Puff, Squidward, Barnacle Boy, and Larry line up behind Sandy. Ferb, Buford, Candace, Carl, and Norm line up behind Phineas. Baljeet, Irving, Stacy, Jeremy, and Major Monogram line up behind Isabella. Private, Rico, Kowalski, Mason, and Bada like up behind Skipper. Becky and Stacy Badger, Joey, Bing, and Burt line up behind Marlene. Mort, Ted, Maurice, Tammy, and the Crocodile Ambassador line up behind King Julien. Masikura, Pancho, Dorothy, Butterfish, and Fred the Scorpion line up behind Clover. All eight line struggle hardly to detatch the girls and the Bomb Attractor of Immense Magnitude from the rings, and it worked as they collapse onto each other, letting the Bomb Attractor of Immense Magnitude to fly right onto a window.
  • Craig McLeith: Oldest trick in the book.
  • (The Bomb Attractor of Immense Magnitude splashes into a nearby lake. The invention explodes underwater, causing a geiser in which Phil floats on top of. Back inside, the others look out the window and cheer.)
  • SpongeBob: Good work!
  • Mason: Wonderful job well done, Phil!
  • Phil: (screeches)
  • (It wasn't long before the group hears some screaming from outside.)
  • Isabella: (screaming)
  • Phineas: That sounds like Isabella!
  • Sandy: Y'all darn it!
  • Marlene: Skipper, HELP!
  • (Sandy (who has her paws tied up), Isabella (who has her mouth sealed on a piece of tape), Marlene (who is all tied up on a rope), and Clover (who has a pok-pok berry in her mouth and is trapped in a magic box) are being taken into a company jet by Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve, along with the Super-Mega Cheese-Stinky Plant of Doom.)
  • Skipper: Marlene.
  • King Julien: And Clover!
  • Clover: (screaming)
  • King Julien: They're coming from outside!

Scene 61: Final Battle

  • (Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve are getting closer to the company jet.)
  • Pompeii: Shut it, otter!
  • Hamabra: Now, move it, adhesion contract!
  • (Suddenly, the Super-Mega Cheese-Stinky Plant of Doom grows bigger and releases some ivy on Danvers, making him feel a bit jittery, as he starts to laugh maniacally. He begins to grow sharp teeth and big heavy claws, and spikes on his back.)
  • Magic Steve: Either that or my magic words really worked.
  • Danvers: I know what I'm gonna do today!
  • (Hamabra opens the jet door, and the four bad guys become shocked at what they're seeing.)
  • All: Wha?
  • Ivan: Raggle fraggle!
  • (Ivan is wearing a purple wild cat costume, has the Rare and Irreplaceable Diamond and is in the driver's seat.)
  • Magic Steve: Lower rank, what is the matter with you?
  • Hamabra: What's with the ridiculous garb?
  • Ivan: Because I am the new #1 most wanted criminal mastermind, The Purple Puma. Yes, and it looks like you've been cheated.
  • Hamabra: I do not think you know the first step in cheating.
  • Magic Steve: You don't plan it before you even start.
  • Pompeii: In fact, I don't believe there's such a rule for that, because it's very pointless.
  • Danvers: Besides...
  • (Now, Ivan looks confused, as he sees Hamabra fires a bomb from his chest, Danvers unleashing an energy beam, Pompeii, using a detonator, and Magic Steve using the magic of... magic.)
  • Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Magic Steve: Raggle fraggle!
  • (They set off an explosion, by connecting theirs together, causing Ivan to get out.)
  • Danvers: And that's why if that's true, the Purple Puma is undoubtedly the stupidest name anyone would ever give to a villain.
  • (SpongeBob, Phineas, Skipper, King Julien, Patrick, Squidward, Mr. Krabs, Plankton, Mrs. Puff, Pearl, Larry, Karen, Bubble Bass, Mermaid Man, Barnacle Boy, Squilliam, Ferb, Candace, Baljeet, Buford, Irving, Stacy, Jeremy, Jenny, the Fireside Girls, Norm, Kowalski, Private, Rico, Mason, Phil, Burt, Bada, Bing, Roy, Joey, Maurice, Mort, Zora, Masikura, Xixi, Timo, Ted, Dorothy, Horst, Mary Ann, Willie, Pancho, Hector, Butterfish, Tammy, Todd, the Croc Ambassador, Amy, Crimson, Sage, Chauncey, and Karl all head outside to save Sandy, Isabella, Marlene, and Clover.)
  • Magic Steve: I hear somebody coming from outside! Cue the healthbars!
  • (Healthbars appear from screen top left and screen top right. The damage caused allows the energy inside an opponent's healthbar to decrease.)
  • (Hamabra presses the button and pulls the lever which will allow the company jet to take off, while Sandy, Isabella, Marlene and Clover try to escape. King Julien pushes a saw, powered by six geckos, closer to Clover, and starts it.)
  • Patrick: They're running away!
  • Crimson: Sister Girl is in trouble!
  • Maurice: What do we do?
  • Phineas: I know what we're gonna do tonight. We stop the jet.
  • (SpongeBob, Phineas, Skipper, and King Julien lead the group as they charge for the flying jet.)
  • Ted: Charge!
  • Private: We're coming for you, Skipper!
  • (SpongeBob, Phineas, Candace, Skipper, and King Julien grab a wing, and the others fail to catch up, that they fall on their fronts. Sandy, Isabella, Skipper, and King Julien look at where they hear something from outside.)
  • Sandy: Huh?
  • Hamabra: Silence, squirrel!
  • Marlene: Help!
  • Clover: (spits out the pok-pok) Magic Steve, I'm too young to die!
  • Buford: Candace! Wait, what's Candace doing on the plane?
  • Ferb: It would seem that she's laughing at the world's expense.
  • Ted: Sweet gherkins! What do we do now?
  • King Julien: Don't worry about it!
  • Skipper: We got it handled!
  • Maurice: I know how we can reach them. Everyone, it's time we form The Ladder.
  • Patrick: Ladder? What ladder? We can't use an ordinary ladder to reach from up there. We might fall.
  • (Back on the jet, Hamabra walks up to the dining room, where he goes to the counter and takes a krabby patty and tastes it.)
  • Hamabra: I think I'll call this jet the Hamabra and Company Famous Flying Food Truck. (He returns to the cockpit, carrying krabby patties and other food stuff.) Dinner is served.
  • (Suddenly, they turn to see somebody in the wings. It was SpongeBob, Phineas, Skipper, King Julien, and Candace.)
  • Danvers: What in the world?
  • Sandy: SpongeBob?
  • Isabella: (muffled) Phineas?
  • Marlene: Skipper?
  • Clover: Your majesty?
  • (Masikura climbs up Squidward who climbs up Burt's trunk, and then climbs up Roy's behind.)
  • Squidward: Ow!
  • Masikura: Climb up, Todd.
  • Todd: Okay.
  • (Horst places his foot inside Mary Ann's Mouth.)
  • Mary Ann: Horst, I've got you.
  • (Pancho climbs up on Mary Ann and Horst.)
  • Horst: Careful of the glasses, Pancho!
  • (SpongeBob, Phineas, Skipper, and King Julien burst into the jet door.)
  • SpongeBob: Hold it right there, you mugs.
  • King Julien: Surrender, Soy Sauce.
  • Magic Steve: That is not my name! It's Magic Steve!
  • Candace: No matter. On the contrary, we got you right where we want you.
  • Danvers: Candiyam has escaped!
  • Hamabra: Danvers, stop them now!
  • (Danvers starts to attack Phineas and Candace.)
  • Candace: You know what? I don't think the universe is laughing at my expense anymore. But now, I believe that I'm the one who's standing against the world's expense.
  • Phineas: You mean us?
  • Candace: We're the ones standing against the world's expense. (She screams as she charges against Danvers.)
  • Danvers: Nice try, Candiyam! (He uses an energy beam to almost knock down Candace, Phineas, SpongeBob, Skipper, and King Julien.)
  • Marlene: Guys!
  • (The five heroes hang on to the wing, and to each other. Suddenly, Mort is holding onto Plankton, who is on top of The Ladder.)
  • Mort: King Julien! All right, King Julien. We're gonna save you. Okay, now! (The Ladder begins to rotate towards the plane, and Mort's tail holds onto a landing gear near one of the wheels, causing the plane to stop in midair. Hamabra trips backwards and food items spill everywhere.)
  • Pompeii: This isn't right.
  • Magic Steve: I think we've stopped.
  • Hamabra: (looks out the window.) No wonder I'm getting motion sickness. (He sees the Ladder from down below.) The Channel Chasers have formed The Ladder!
  • (The Ladder consists of the larger Channel Chasers at the bottom to the smaller ones at the top. From top to bottom are Mort, Sheldon J. Plankton, Chauncey, Masikura, Todd, Patrick Star, Mrs. Puff, Mr. Eugene H. Krabs, Squidward Tentacles, Squilliam Fancyson, Bubble Bass, Larry the Lobster, Xixi, Karen Plankton, Maurice, Private, Rico, Kowalski, Timo, Willie, Dorothy, Ted, Pancho, Hector, Horst, Mary Ann, Crimson, Karl, Tammy, Butterfish, Mason, Phil, Zora, Sage Moondancer, Mermaid Man, Barnacle Boy, Gretchen, Katie, Holly, Baljeet Tjinder, Millie, Irving Du Bois, Adyson Sweetwater, Ferb Fletcher, Ginger Hirano, Buford Van Stomm, Jenny Brown, Stacy Hirano, Jeremy Johnson, Joey, Amy the Crocodile Princess, the Crocodile Ambassador, Bing, Bada, Roy, Pearl Krabs, Norm, and Burt.)
  • Pompeii: That's impossible!
  • Magic Steve: They're stopping our escape plans! And even worse, the altitude is dropping!
  • Hamabra: Steer harder! (The villains keep pressing buttons and pulling levers as hard as they can, while Pompeii tries to fly, but falls to the ground.)
  • Pompeii: I forgot I can't fly.
  • (While the villains are struggling, Sandy sees some iron bars, which gives her an idea, as Marlene looks around her surroundings and looks out the window.)
  • SpongeBob: Don't worry, Sandy! We're coming for you!
  • Crimson: You can do it, Schmoopy-Bear!
  • (SpongeBob, Phineas, Candace, Skipper, and King Julien swing upwards and jump through the door, and inside the jet.)
  • Sandy: SpongeBob!
  • Isabella: (muffled speech)
  • Clover: King Julien, you came back! (Magic Steve places the pok-pok back into Clover's mouth, and places the saw into full throttle.)
  • Magic Steve: You are just about to see a feat so epic.
  • Clover: (muffled screaming)
  • (SpongeBob, Phineas, Candace, Skipper, and King Julien all yell and charge at Danvers, Hamabra, Pompeii, and Magic Steve.)
  • Danvers: Well, well, well. If it isn't the Channel Chasers. (He beams an energy beam at the heroes.) Have a seat! Fore! (He uses a broken handlebar as a golfclub to swing the energy beam at one of the seats nearby. The heroes charge to the cockpit again. SpongeBob brings out a case of bubbles, pulls out a bubble wand and blows a big bubble, in which Danvers pops.) Your skills are no match against our own. (He uses another energy beam on Phineas.)
  • (Hamabra sets a laser from his arm to destroy SpongeBob, while Magic Steve eats a stick of fire, and starts breathing it on King Julien.)
  • King Julien: (screams) And you said your magic was bogus!
  • Skipper: I'm gonna take you down single-flipperedly. (He strikes some poses, and starts to slap Pompeii, but Pompeii slaps Skipper more harshly.)
  • Danvers: We're the ones who will take you down! (He uses a piece of his long hair to take down Phineas.)
  • (SpongeBob tries to get up, but he is weakened. Hamabra sprouts a missile from one of his pores to destroy SpongeBob. Skipper gets up woozily, and then Pompeii throws some shooting stars at him.)
  • Danvers: Rise, my precious, and destroy everything wholesome and decent! Soon, we will have all sitcoms, cartoons, game shows, and any other shows that are wholesome and decent put off the air. Instead, we will only have sleazy reality shows all starring us!
  • (The Super-Mega Cheese-Stinky Plant of Doom rises as Danvers places it out the window, as it destroys anything it it's path.)
  • Skipper: They're literally beating us!
  • Phineas: We gotta do something.
  • SpongeBob: We need to form an ultimate secret weapon.
  • (SpongeBob races to the cockpit.)
  • SpongeBob: Hey, Hamabra! Over here!
  • Hamabra: SpongeBrat!
  • SpongeBob: Yes. Yes, I am. And some assorted inside contents.
  • (Out from his pores are bubbles, baseballs, fish, and mangos at Hamabra, Pompeii, Magic Steve, and Danvers, but miss, thanks to Danvers.)
  • King Julien: Meap.
  • (Danvers unveils another huge energy beam, Hamabra fires a huge missile from his cannon, Pompeii fires a huge firecracker, and Magic Steve throws down a smoke pellet, connecting the huge explosions on their lookalikes, making them crash into the galley.)
  • SpongeBob: How are we wever gonna defeat them? (They look out the window and see the Gizmo Roadster flying past them. It stops at the company jet.)
  • Phineas: Vanessa, what are you doing here?
  • Vanessa: Hurry! We have to go!
  • Candace: Wait. That's not the...
  • Vanessa: Like it? I named it Moble.
  • Phineas and Ferb: Moble! Moble! Moble! Moble! Moble!
  • Vanessa: Well, that's creepy.
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Tell me about it.
  • King Julien: Now, since when did the Gizmo Roadster appear on "Ultra Drama Land?" (He notices a sack full of stolen possessions, including almost all the magic remote controls invented.)
  • (In another channel, "The RogueRuff Girls" to be exact, three super-powered kindergarten girls defeat the PossePurple Posse, and they hear a toy phone beaping from inside.)
  • Violet: The signal!
  • (They hurry inside a house where the toy phone is beeping. VIolet picks it up.)
  • Violet: Yes? (She hears indistinct talking.) We're on our way. (She hangs up.) Let's go! (The RogueRuff Girls go inside a television set.)
  • (Back at "Ultra Drama Land"...)
  • Vanessa: Don't just stand there. Hop in!
  • King Julien: (while he takes four remotes from the sack) Not so fast. We'll stop Magic Steve and his army, while you and Candace defeat the Super-Stinky Flower, whatever that is.
  • SpongeBob: King Julien, I want you to stall Magic Steve's magic trick.
  • King Julien: You got it. (He passes out three remotes to SpongeBob, Phineas, and Skipper.)
  • (With that, Vanessa hops out of the jet, and into the Gizmo Roadster with Vanessa, Craig McLeith and Dr. Doofenshmirtz.)
  • Candace: Why did you bring the Gizmo Roadster to "Ultra Drama Land?"
  • Vanessa: By using the Chicken-Replace-inator.
  • Chris McLeith: Plot twist! We're having a crossover! Never a dull moment on "Ultra Drama Land."
  • (Agent P hangs on to the Gizmo Roadster from the backend.)
  • Candace: What's that?
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: It switches places with the nearest chicken. My daughter, Vanessa, knows who to use it, including switching to the furthest chicken, so we did just that.
  • (The Gizmo Roadster soars to the other side of the jet, as Danvers uses the Plant of Doom to that side.)
  • Candace: That was close!
  • (They see the Super-Mega Cheese-Stinky Plant of Doom out the window.)
  • Vanessa: I don't think so.
  • (The Plant of Doom sprouts ivy from the bulb. The Gizmo Roadster hovers below the plane, but the undercarriage opens to reveal the Plant of Doom coming out.)
  • Vanessa: Hang on!
  • (The Gizmo Roadster hovers over the jet, as Agent P lands on top of the jet, where inside, Magic Steve and King Julien growl angrily at each other.)
  • Ted: I don't get it. Who's side are we on?
  • Pancho: I can't see very well from up there.
  • Masikura: King Julien, get to the saw!
  • (King Julien sees Clover is about to be sawed in half. He began to make gestures at Magic Steve, until he runs to the saw to rescue Clover. Magic Steve grabs his tail, and makes him trip. King Julien looks up to him.)
  • Magic Steve: Ta-da!
  • King Julien: Listen to me, Magic Steve. I'm sorry for not caring about others and only caring about myself. It's not my fault to not take in a little more offense. And you did not have to saw Clover in half, and you more importantly didn't end up getting eaten by a crocodile, did you?
  • Magic Steve: But, I can do anything. I'm the king. Can I hear some noises?
  • King Julien: But, we're still not identical to each other, and we need to talk about your voice.
  • Magic Steve: But, we're still not identical to each other, and we need to talk about your voice.
  • Pancho: Still can't see well from down here.
  • (Back inside, the saw stops for a moment. It turns out a gecko had to use a potty break. Now, having feel relieved, he and the other geckos run the saw again. Just then, Mort gets up into the plane, causing Plankton to carry it.)
  • Mort: Which one is the real feet? (He tries to run up to the two ring-tailed lemurs, but he still has his tail wrapped around.) I don't know! I'll never know if I ever believe in anything anymore! (He runs out the plane crying, but falls back into Plankton's hands.)
  • Plankton: Yeow! (He mistakenly rotates the plane a bit, causing everyone inside to tumble into the galley, and the Gizmo Roadster to hover over to the galley. Candace, Vanessa, Craig, and Dr. Doofenshmirtz eveacuate into the jet. They witness the mess that has just happened.)
  • Candace: Whoa. What happened in here?
  • (Hamabra, Pompeii, and Magic Steve are covered in food items.)
  • Pompeii: We've really stopped, haven't we?
  • Magic Steve: Don't remind us.
  • (Dr. Doofenshmirtz falls into the plane.)
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Ow, that hurts.
  • Candace: (gets Dr. Doofenshmirtz off the ground) Are you okay? (She picks up the Chicken-Replace-inator.) What is this? The Chicken-Replace-intator?
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Yes. That's how we got here to exchange places with the chicken further from us in the TV Universe.
  • (Danvers gets up, still with the Super-Mega Cheese-Stinky Plant of Doom, still alive.)
  • Candace: So, does this mean there's a chicken on channel 597?
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: It would seem so.
  • (Suddenly, the Super-Mega Cheese-Stinky Plant of Doom keeps rising.)
  • Willie: They're all gonna die if they don't stop that thing! But, we should be just fine though.
  • (Back inside the jet...)
  • Candace: Get behind me.
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: What?
  • Candace: Because I'm about to have this plant change places with the nearest chicken.
  • (Just as the Plant of Doom releases another set of ivy, Candace fires the Chicken-Replace-inator at it, replacing it with the Jungle Rooster.)
  • Jungle Rooster: (crows)
  • King Julien: My rooster! Where have you been? It's been a while. You wouldn't believe what has happened to me. First, Koto took control of the lemur kingdom, forcing me and Maurice to run away with Pancho on a submarine with minimum food that Ted ate, and we found him wearing a wedding dress. Isn't that crazy?
  • (The Super-Mega Cheese-Stinky Plant of Doom emerges from the chapel.)
  • Ted: Oh no! Now it's gonna hit us! Gas masks everyone!
  • Pancho: We can't. Remember, we have to hold on to each other to keep hold of the plane so they don't get away.
  • Willie: We're all gonna die!
  • (Dr. Doofenshmirtz looks at the Super-Mega Cheese-Stinky Plant of Doom from outside.)
  • King Julien: And then, we landed on an island full of lovely lemur ladies called Sirens, and Crimson was queen, and she had us fed to a Giant Tentacle Beast.
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Uh, it needs to be switched with the furthest chicken.
  • Candace: What?
  • All: Furthest! Furthest!!!
  • (Candace sets the dial to "Furthest Chicken". She looks out the window, aims the Chicken-Replace-inator at the Super-Mega Cheese-Stinky Plant of Doom, fires away, and the plant of doom gets replaced with a different chicken. The ivy clears up. The other Channel Chasers who didn't form the Ladder cheer and take off their gas masks.)
  • Candace: (She takes off her gasmask.) Well, what do you know? The Chicken-Replace-inator worked. There's no more ivy.
  • Danvers: (gets up as he growls angrily at the good guys) What is happening? The ivy is gone! (He screams as he reverts back to normal. After that, he rubs his eyes.) What just happened? (Then, he, Hamabra, Pompeii, and Magic Steve growl angrily at the heroes.)
  • Hamabra: It is show time, SpongeBob.
  • Danvers: You have no business being here.
  • (Sandy and Isabella are using the iron to release their hands, Marlene is wriggling around.)
  • Pompeii: We really are television's most hurful characters.
  • Magic Steve: And now, we're about to pull the plug on you!
  • (Clover starts releasing herself angrily and spits out the pok-pok into the saw once it reaches her. She bites the ropes, punches the saw, and flicks the geckos. The razor crashes into the box and sawing machine. She removes the tape from Isabella's mouth and unties her. Sandy has her rope removed allowing her paws to be free. But, Marlene, breaks out of the net, and became Wild Marlene. She roar psychotically.)
  • Magic Steve: Uh, was that supposed to happen?
  • (Wild Marlene sharpens her claws and bares her fangs. She jumps in front of the bad guys and roars at them.)
  • Magic Steve: Now what?
  • Hamabra: Steve, there comes a... RUN! (The four villains run from Wild Marlene who hurls Pompeii.)
  • Pompeii: Stop that! I demand you to...
  • Clover: (off-screen) Oi! Imposters! Over here!
  • (Wild Marlene tosses him to where the other three are running to, knocking them down, where Sandy, Isabella, Clover, and the RogueRuff Girls are standing.)
  • Violet: Hold it right there, Hojo Momo.
  • Magic Steve: That is not my name either! It's Magic Steve!
  • Sandy: You might be hurtful television characters.
  • Isabella: But still, you are characters who appear on TV shows.
  • Clover: Ready, girls?
  • Violet: Yes we are.
  • Sandy: (she punches Hamabra) No...
  • Violet: (punches Magic Steve) One...
  • Isabella: (punches Danvers) Fools...
  • Viola: (punches Pompeii) A...
  • Clover: (punches Magic Steve) Woman...
  • Veronica: (punches Hamabra) For...
  • Sandy: (punches Pompeii) Marrying...
  • Violet: (punches Danvers) Her...
  • Isabella: (punches Magic Steve) After...
  • Viola: (punches Hamabra) Which...
  • Clover: (punches Pompeii) He'd...
  • Veronica: (punches Pompeii) Harm...
  • All: The ones we love! (The all give the four villains a great big punch to a glass window.)
  • Hamabra: Ow.
  • Danvers: Oh. Ow.
  • Magic Steve: Okay. Ow.
  • (They fall on the floor.)
  • Sandy: That was amazing.
  • Clover: Well done, RogueRuff Girls.
  • Isabella: Can I have your autograph?
  • (The villains get up woozily.)
  • Hamabra: I think I'm in love.
  • Danvers: Yeah, she's something else.
  • Pompeii: (sighs) I just can't keep my eyes off that otter.
  • Magic Steve: And the RogueRuff Girls weren't bad either.
  • SpongeBob: She is in love, with me.
  • Phineas: And Isabella is my something else.
  • Skipper: That otter is my otter.
  • King Julien: And I have something that rightfully belongs to you. (King Julien places another bird leg on Hamabra, a Danvers helmet on Danvers, another long black feather on Pompeii, and a lemur-skin coat with a tuxedo on Magic Steve. They pass out. Hamabra gets up however as he notices the emergency exit.)
  • Hamabra: Come on, boys. Let's amscray.
  • Danvers: Don't you mean Amscrerb?
  • Hamabra: That works too.
  • (He opens the emergency exit, when he feels like he's about to trip. Plankton is pushing Mort to the landing gear. Hamabra was about to fall off the plane and grabs on to the door. He hears screaming coming from inside. It was Pompeii, Danvers, and Magic Steve, who are sliding down from inside. They crash into Hamabra, who lets go of the emergency exit door, and they all fall down to the ground.)
  • Baljeet: Phineas is about to crash!
  • Patrick: Not my best friend!
  • Private: How are we gonna catch their fall?
  • Mort: I wish I could cushion their fall, but we still have to make sure the bad guys don't escape.
  • (The villains are about to hit the bottom, when Roger, the alligator, comes in and opens his mouth wide catching Magic Steve.)
  • (Violet, Viola, Veronica, and Detective Gizmo are holding out a net, catching Hamabra, Danvers, and Pompeii.)
  • Violet: We did it, girls. We caught an enemy we've never fought before.
  • Viola: The doctor will be so proud of us.
  • Veronica: For sure.
  • Detective Gizmo: Wait. Where's Hojo Momo?
  • (The healthbars fade out.)
  • (In Frank-ri-la, Piney the pineapple is sitting on a bench with Dr. Watermelon Bawkings, and a bored Captain Ethan the rat, Butterfly Queen, Karen the lemur, Wigman Wildebeest, and Koto. Also sitting on the bench is an urn with King Julien the Terrible's face on it.)
  • Pineapple: 3, 2, 1.
  • (Just then, Magic Steve appears sitting on a bench.)
  • Dr. Watermelon Bawkings: There he is.
  • Koto: Hey, everybody. Look who came back.
  • Wigman Wildebeest: It's Hojo Momo, from The RogueRuff Girls.
  • Butterfly Queen: And he looks marvelous too.
  • Magic Steve: That is not my name! It's... (groans) Never mind.
  • Captain Ethan: Yup. That's our Hojo Momo.
  • Karen: Yeah. Long live the king.
  • Koto: That Hojo Momo is true royalty. (He laughs alongside the other dead guys.)
  • Pineapple: Okay, that's enough. I mean it. (The dead guys keep laughing.) Stop laughing.
  • (Back on Earth, Roger comes to Detective Gizmo and Vanessa.)
  • Roger: Oh, you were looking for Magic Steve. He was delicious.
  • (Ted looks down to see Roger burp out the crown.)
  • Ted: Did King Julien die?
  • (Back inside the jet, SpongeBob, Phineas, and King Julien look at Sandy, Isabella and Clover. Skipper brings in a caged Marlene.)
  • SpongeBob: Sandy, I'm sorry for yelling at you for not making our dream wedding a reality.
  • Phineas: And Isabella, we're very sorry about messing up your wedding.
  • King Julien: Clover, we apologize for not believing you.
  • Skipper: And I'm also sorry for letting you get sent outside, whatever that means.
  • Sandy: Yeah. This wedding was not going the way we wanted it to be.
  • Isabella: But, we're just glad you made it happen.
  • Clover: Come to think of it, I've never been happier than I am now. I guess I came to have the honor of having a king and friend when you changed things for me, and it was all for the better.
  • King Julien: I didn't think this marriage could work, Clover. Who knows? Things can't last for longer than we expect.
  • Clover: In other words, you may not mean to do it, but I'm very happy that you did.
  • (Wild Marlene kisses Skipper in the face.)
  • Skipper: (laughs)
  • Buford: Now, can we break the Ladder so we can get down?
  • Sandy: Not yet. First, I have to take a picture of it so it will go in my book of world records.

Scene 62: Apologies Accepted

  • SpongeBob: We won again, everybody!
  • (SpongeBob, Sandy, Phineas, Isabella, Skipper, Marlene, King Julien, Clover, Candace, Vanessa, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, and the Jungle Rooster hop out of the company jet. as the Ladder breaks apart and cheer for their heroes.)
  • Candace: Yes! Yes! Yes!
  • Private: Way to go, Skipper!
  • Candace: We won! We won!
  • Isabella: Phineas, how do I get down this thing?
  • Phineas: Just take my hand. (She holds his hand as he takes her down the steps.)
  • Candace: We caught the bandits!
  • Masikura: If that wasn't an action sequence, I don't know.
  • Candace: I even switched their ultimate weapon with a chicken!
  • Ted: Here you go, your majesty. (He gives King Julien his crown back.)
  • Clover: Hey, nice outfit.
  • Isabella: Why, thank you.
  • Xixi: I was gonna say that!
  • Masikura: I can't believe we did it! Oh!
  • (Chef Machete and some security guards take in Ivan, while Violet, Viola, and Veronica carry in the net with Hamabra, Danvers, and Pompeii. Vanessa and Detective Gizmo walk in.)
  • Vanessa: Well done, Channel Chasers. The Rare and Irreplaceable Diamond, aka the Bronze Diamond, is safe.
  • (They see Andy the bat fly off with the sacks full of goods (except for King Julien's crown) and Pancho riding on the Gizmo Roadster.)
  • Andy: So long, suckers! Well, Pancho, looks like we've got ourselves a fortune filling up a cave with all this loot.
  • Pancho: We even got the bottle with a secret recipe to the krabby patty. Hoo-ah! (He presses a button on the magic remote control, allowing the duo to return back home with all the stolen (again) goods.)
  • Plankton: I'll get you for that, you seedy felon, and your little bat too!
  • Detective Gizmo: And you framed my arch-enemy, The Purple Puma. Would you look at his little outfit? He looks cute and cuddly, doesn't he?
  • Ivan: I'm not cute or cuddly.
  • Vanessa: Yes, you are.
  • Hamabra: Of course, you are.
  • Pompeii: Did you make it yourself?
  • Buford: Ivan Eefildur is an evil-doer.
  • All: Ooh.
  • Vanessa: I just wanted to tell you, Detective. Thank you for showing me that I can be a good guy even if my dad is evil.
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Yes, I know.
  • Detective Gizmo: Ms. Doofenshmirtz, I should thank you for helping me crack the case, and you were meant to be doing good deeds, and you should start doing it more often. Well, I believe that's it. It is time for us to part, and go our separate ways. (He tears up.) Here it comes. Oh, my gosh. I thought good detectives aren't supposed to cry.
  • Vanessa: Keep it together, Detective. There's no need to cry. We're just saying... farewell... to each other. (She tears up too.) Goodbye!
  • (Detective Gizmo and Vanessa both cry and start hugging each other.)
  • Detective Gizmo: I'll miss you a lot!
  • Vanessa: I'll miss you more, my partner!
  • Ivan: Are you quite done yet?
  • (Vanessa and Detective Gizmo stop crying and look at Ivan.)
  • Vanessa: Oh. Sorry.
  • Detective Gizmo: Okay. Send them back to their regular programs!
  • Vanessa: I believe I know how. By using the good old Magical Remote Control-inator, and the Chicken-Replace-inator.
  • Jungle Rooster, Agent Chicken, and Background Singers: Bawk, bawk, bawk.
  • Vanessa: Pause! (The villains in the net freeze.) Erase! (She presses the erase button, sending the villains back to their respective shows.)
  • (Back on "Diver Sun," the Super-Mega Cheese-Stinky Plant of Doom lands on the same spot where Dr. Doofenshmirtz, Vanessa, and Agent P were earlier. Some Tubian guards are battle-ready against the giant plant, as it was about to squirt some ivy, and nothing happened. It weakened back to its early stage, just when Ivan, Hamabra, Danvers, and Pompeii were zapped back in, fighting into a dust cloud.)
  • Hamabra: Shut up!
  • Ivan: I'm the #1 most wanted criminal boss!
  • (Danvers gets punched out of the dust cloud and lands near the weakened Super-Mega Cheese-Stinky Plant of Doom.)
  • Danvers: (gasps) My Super-Mega Cheese-Stinky Plant of Doom! Well, I suppose you're not all...
  • (The Super-Mega Cheese-Stinky Plant of Doom blows up.)
  • Danvers: Just kidding.
  • (Just then, they get surrounded by some Tubian guards.)
  • Ivan: Stop punching me, okay? I admit. What I said was a big mistake.
  • Tubian: Diver Danvers, and whatever that din is, you're doing time in the dungeon! (laughs)
  • (Back at "Ultra Drama Land", Detective Gizmo is ready to leave. Vanessa leaves with Dr. Doofenshmirtz using the Magical Remote Control-inator, zapping themselves back to the real world.)
  • Detective Gizmo: Well, goodbye, Channel Chasers.
  • (The Channel Chasers bid their farewells to Detective Gizmo.)
  • Detective Gizmo: Vanessa? Hey, Vanessa! I'm coming! (He uses the Magical Remote Control-inator to zap himself back to his show.)
  • (SpongeBob, Phineas, Skipper, and King Julien turn to their old friends.)
  • SpongeBob: You know something? I really missed you guys.
  • Phineas: These past few days have been a blast.
  • Skipper: But it was a bit crazier.
  • King Julien: And admittedly, it was a little scary without you guys around.
  • (Suddenly, they hear a cellphone ring. Stacy picks it up and sees Linda Flynn-Fletcher in it, who is driving home, and is near a TV shop.)
  • Stacy: Hey, Candace. Look at this. Mom's on the phone. This is it. Your chance to bust your brothers. Nothing can hide this whole thing. When she finds out about all this, she will think that you've been right the whole time. The busting land mine will explode. Phineas and Ferb will be busted in no time.
  • Candace: (takes Stacy's phone) Hi, Mom! Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom!
  • Linda: Candace, what do you think you're doing inside television.
  • Candace: Phineas and Ferb have really done it this time.
  • Linda: What were they doing at this very moment?
  • Candace: (inhales) They're having pizza for dinner. They're ordering Little Romero's, which just happens to be to your next right. Don't look at the TV store to your left. Just turn the other way. You can't miss it.
  • Linda: (backs up the car) Sure.
  • Phineas: So, what is Mom up to?
  • Candace: She'll be getting us pizza.
  • Phineas: That sounds great.
  • (Back in the real world, Linda calls Phineas and Ferb.)
  • Linda: I know I can't be virtually meeting my kids while I'm on the road. Boys, what are you doing?
  • Candace: Ah, the same. Watching television.
  • Linda: Okay. I'll see you when I get home. (She hangs up, and drives off. Back in TV land...)
  • Candace: Well, a long time ago, I thought you were giving me trouble. Can you believe an entire TV tour of blowing up cyborgs, framing criminals, and eating snowcones can really change your point-of-view forever. (She was about to sing a song but...)
  • Queen Securia: There you are, Phineas!
  • Candace: Oh no.
  • (They all turn to see Queen Securia, her Tubian guards, Officer Arrestem, some Keppy guards, as well as some cyborg guards and human guards from "O-M-POW!" and "The RogueRuff Girls.")
  • Officer Arrestem: Stop that penguin!
  • Phineas: Queen Secuira?
  • Skipper: Officer Arrestem?
  • SpongeBob: And the guards from "O-M-POW!"
  • King Julien: And the Metroplesburg Police Force! (He picks up his magic remote control.) I guess the world of television really does wonders. (laughs)
  • Skipper: What did we do?
  • Queen Securia: You made the hugest prison escape ever to be broadcasted.
  • Officer Arrestem: As a result, you'll be in prison for the next hundred years, or maybe a thousand.
  • SpongeBob: You're not gonna give us any excuses or exceptions.
  • Queen Securia: None of that! Besides, you haven't even closed out your little shows, or bothered bidding your farewells.
  • SpongeBob: What?
  • Phineas: What?
  • Skipper: What?
  • King Julien: Whaddaya say what?
  • Officer Arrestem: That's right. You're being sent back to your prisons. Guards, take them away!
  • (The cyborg guards take SpongeBob. The Tubian guards take Phineas. The Keppy guards take Skipper. The human guards take King Julien.)
  • Phineas: Guys, what are you doing?
  • Skipper: Listen to me. I'm...
  • SpongeBob: Take it easy.
  • King Julien: Hey, wait! I just got my crown back!
  • Isabella: Phineas! No!
  • Mr. Krabs: Stop! (He, Candace, Private, and Mort walk up to Queen Securia, Officer Arrestem, and the guards) We're sorry for what we did, boy.
  • Candace: We're sorry we should have known you were gone.
  • Private: We should apologize for not telling you that you mean so much for us all.
  • Mort: We never meant to ditch you, King Julien.
  • Mr. Krabs: Well, that kind of thing will not happen anymore. Officers, if you have to take SpongeBob to jail, then... (He lifts his pincers up.) you're gonna have to take me, and me money.
  • Candace: As their older sister, if you ever take my little brothers to the dungeon, then you're gonna take me too. (She raises her hands up.)
  • Phineas: You too, Candace?
  • Private: And Officer Arrestem, if you take Skipper back to prison, then, you'll have to take me as well. (He raises his flippers up.)
  • Mort: And if you ever want to take King Julien or his precious feet to your show, then I should be the one who should be taken also. (He raises his hands up.)
  • (Patrick, Ferb, Kowalski, and Maurice walk up to SpongeBob, Phineas, Skipper, and King Julien.)
  • Patrick: We're best friends, SpongeBob. We go everywhere together.
  • Ferb: And we'd do everything together.
  • Kowalski: And we'd never separate each other.
  • Maurice: King Julien, I'm your royal advisor. I'm your big softie. I'm your Momo.
  • King Julien: You too, Momo?
  • (They all raise their hands up.)
  • Patrick: So, if you take SpongeBob, then you'll have to take me.
  • Ferb: If you take Phineas and Candace, then you'll have to take me.
  • Kowalski: If you take Skipper, then you'll have to take me.
  • Maurice: If you take King Julien, then you'll have to take me.
  • Plankton: (He walks up with his tiny hands up.) Take Mr. Krabs and you'll have to take me too.
  • Baljeet and Buford: (They walk up with their hands up.) Take Phineas, Ferb, and Candace, then you'll have to take us.
  • Clover: (She walks up with her hands up.) Take King Julien, then you'll have to take me.
  • RIco: (He walks up with his flippers up.) Me too.
  • Candace: While you were away, we persuaded ourselves those evil TV characters were you four, because they provided us what we thought we were gonna want.
  • Buford: When all this time, all we've ever wanted.
  • Masikura: And all we ever needed.
  • Sandy: Were you, SpongeBob.
  • Isabella: And you, Phineas.
  • Marlene: And you, Skipper.
  • Clover: And you, King Julien. The real you.
  • (SpongeBob, Phineas, Skipper, and King Julien look at all the Channel Chasers raising their hands up, and so did Queen Securia, Officer Arrestem, and all the guards and cops.)
  • Queen Securia: (sighs) Well, I guess you're right.
  • Officer Arrestem: It would appear that you do have one great big happy family here.
  • (SpongeBob, Phineas, Skipper, and King Julien look at their great big happy family.)
  • Queen Securia: And family is meant to be together. As queen, I hereby set you free for eternity.
  • (The Channel Chasers gasp and chatter excitedly.)
  • Patrick: SpongeBob, we're free to go!
  • Phineas: Well, thank you very much, your royal higness.
  • Skipper: That's good. Really good.
  • (Queen Securia, Officer Arrestem, and all the guards are about to leave.)
  • SpongeBob: Hold on! (The law enforcers stop to hear something.) Everybody, we haven't finished our grand televised tour yet.
  • Phineas: And I know where we're gonna perform live next.
  • Skipper: And we're making this the only time it will air anywhere. No reruns after that.
  • King Julien: As one of the seven kings, and queen, of the TV Universe, we decree that we're having a big coronation at "O-M-POW!," "Diver Sun," "Darby Way Behind Ya", and "The Rogue Ruff Girls!"
  • (All the Channel Chasers cheer excitedly about the big news.)
  • isabella: I better bring my bathing suit now!
  • Officer Arrestem: (laughs) That's marvelous!
  • SpongeBob: Marvelous!
  • Queen Securia: That's horrendous. You'll regret this.
  • (The Channel Chasers continue to chat excitedly as we pan up to the sky, until the indistinct chattering fades out.)
  • SpongeBob: (off-screen) Everybody, listen up!
  • King Julien: (off-screen) It's time for our big coronation finale!
  • Skipper: (off-screen) Let's do it!
  • Phineas: (off-screen) Take it away, Candace!

Scene 63: Us Against the TV Universe

  • (Song: Us Against the Universe)
  • (Cut back to the tar pit from "O-M-POW!", where Candace is stuck in the middle of it, and is circled by Phineas, Ferb, SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, Sandy, Mr. Krabs, Plankton, Karen, Gary, Pearl, Mrs. Puff, Larry, Mermaid Man, Barnacle Boy, Bubble Bass, Squilliam Fancyson, Fred, Harold, Margaret, Old Man Walker, some seagulls, Rraaargh, a Trench Monster, Mr. Seaweed Monster Man, the studious sea monster, Isabella, Baljeet, Buford, Jeremy, Stacy, Jenny, Coltraine, Irving, Django, Suzy, Major Monogram, Carl, the Fireside Girls, some pigeons, Norm, the Goozim, Nosey, Meap, Skipper, Private, Rico, Kowalski, Marlene, Mason Phil, Burt's trunk, Roger, Bada, Bing, Joey, Pinky, Shelly (her head is burried inside), Fred the squirrel, Becky, Stacy, Alice, a chameleon, Mama Duck, Eggy, Bradley, Samuel, Ramona, Roy, Ted the Polar Bear, King Julien, Clover, Mort, Maurice, Masikura, Xixi, Timo, Ted, Sage, Dorothy, Hector, Willie, Horst, Mary Ann, Tammy, Todd, Karl, Crimson, Dr. S, Mombot, the jungle rooster, some chickens, the Crocodile Ambassador, Amy, Fred the Giant Scorpion, Butterfish, and Hans.)
  • Candace: I used to be alone. Just me against the raging tide. But I guess I should've known that you were always on my side. Now, I don't have to be an island, because you've been there all the while, and now I realize my fears weren't justified.
  • (Candace, Phineas, Ferb, SpongeBob, Skipper, Private, King Julien, Clover, Patrick, Sandy, Squidward, Mr. Krabs, Plankton, Gary, Isabella, Baljeet, Buford, Jeremy, Stacy, Kowalski, Rico, Marlene, Maurice, Mort, Ted, and Masikura release themselves from the tar pit, landing near it.)
  • All: Cause we're strong!
  • SpongeBob: And even though we sometimes disagree...
  • All: And we belong!
  • Phineas: Belong together, we're a family!
  • (Cut to Frank-ri-la, where Pineapple is wearing earmuffs, Magic Steve has his arms crossed, and the other dead guys are singing and dancing.)
  • Captain Ethan, Butterfly Queen, Karen, Wigman, and Koto: And the best thing about family is you know they're always there!
  • All: Yeah! We stand tall!
  • Skipper and Private: And we ain't gonna take no flack!
  • All: We won't fall!
  • King Julien and Clover: 'Cause we've always got each other's back!
  • All: And if you're gonna try to knock us down, I think you'd best beware!
  • Tommy, Genies, Smarty, Mrs. Drizzle, Aaron, Gibbertooth, Marmots, Cook Machete: 'Cause as long as we're together.
  • (Candace rides on top of Burt, with SpongeBob, Phineas, Skipper, Private, Clover, and King Julien seated on top too. Patrick, Sandy, Squidward, Mr. Krabs, Plankton, Gary, Isabella, Baljeet, Buford, Jeremy, Stacy, Kowalski, Rico, Marlene, Maurice, Mort, Ted, and Masikura follow. They parade past dancing guards and prisoners from the four shows.)
  • All: We can stand and face whatever...
  • Marina, Hillary Hilltop, Space Spector: ...kind of trouble this world...
  • All: ...tries to put us in.
  • (SpongeBob tosses a krabby patty over to Furry Thumbkins who swallows it whole. He gives a thumb up.)
  • (Mrs. Puff, Larry, Major Monogram, Carl, Irving, Eliza Fletcher, Mason, Phil, Fred, Sage, and Timo are now out of the tar pit and walking past some dancing and singing guards and prisoners.)
  • All: If you're out there on your own...
  • Jungle Rooster and chickens: Bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk.
  • Ricky, Hornswoggle, Beehive Brothers, Pokerib: If it's us against the universe.
  • All: We win.
  • Rico: Winners!
  • Phineas: So far it's been a rocking summer, and now we saved the world again.
  • SpongeBob: Still it would be a bummer, if you weren't here with us and all our friends.
  • King Julien: Time to celebrate our victory!
  • Skipper: And I'll admit our favorite memory...
  • All four: Was when we put the cyborgs to an end.
  • (A monitor depicts clips from the wedding battle up to the big Bomb Attractor of Immense Magnitude explosion.)
  • Clover: That was so amazing.
  • All: 'Cause we're strong!
  • Sandy: And even though we sometimes disagree..
  • All: And we belong!
  • Candace and Clover: Belong together, we're a family!
  • All: And friends are also family. We're not just talking blood relation. We stand tall!
  • Patrick: And we ain't gonna take no flack.
  • All: We won't fall!
  • Mort: 'Cause we've always got each other's back.
  • Isabella: Let's take this time to thank the folks who worked on all this animation.
  • All: Yeah!
  • (Patrick, Squidward, Mr. Krabs, Plankton, Baljeet, Buford, Jeremy, Stacy, Kowalski, Rico, Maurice, Mort, Ted, and Masikura lead a group of dancing Tubians, Keppys, and other monsters and prisoners.)
  • All: 'Cause as long as we're together, we can stand and face whatever kind of trouble this world tries to put us in.
  • Snarfelle, Custy, Craig McLeith: If you're out there on your own, you just might take it on your chin.
  • (SpongeBob, Sandy, Phineas, Isabella, Skipper, Private, Marlene, King Julien, and Clover approach Queen Securia, Officer Arrestem, Hamabra, Danvers, Pompeii, and Roger, all in front of the dancing guards and prisoners, behind the tar pit.)
  • Phineas: If it's us against the universe.
  • (Roger opens his mouth and out pops Magic Steve.)
  • Magic Steve: Together, we have been through worse.
  • All: If it's us against the universe, we win!
  • (Song stops as fireworks begin exploding from the sky. Perry arrives in front of the crowd.)
  • Perry: (chatters)
  • Phineas: Oh, there you are, Perry.
  • SpongeBob: You're just in time for Queen Securia's big solo verse.
  • (Perry hears his watch beep.)
  • Major Monogram: Well done, Agent P. (Perry immediately blocks his watch while the others weren't watching him, but focusing on Queen Securia about to sing instead.) I guess this should be another light evening.
  • (Queen Securia was about to sing, but...)
  • "The End"
  • Queen Securia: (off-screen) I'll get you for that!

Credits

  • (The first quarter of the credits are displayed in the night sky as little silhouettes of the characters watch from the ground as fireworks of characters and props retell the movie's plot in the sky.)
  • (Cut back to the Flynn-Fletcher Household, where Lawrence Fletcher walks through with a newspaper inside. He looks outside to see a giant television-like portal and walks out the door. He steps up to the invention, looks around, and walks towards the entrance. He puts his hand through it, and a few seconds later, he steps into the machine.)
  • Lawrence: (screams)
  • (It turns out the portal still leads to an enflamed Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.)
  • (He runs out of the portal.)
  • Lawrence: Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Oh, it burns! Get me out of here! Get it off me!
  • (He throws the burnt newspaper to the portal, causing it to burn to dust too. The portal-shaped dust flies off. Lawrence then hears the sound of someone driving up to the driveway, and a car alarm. Linda enters through the fence with some pizzas.)
  • Linda: I have pizzas brought home, dear. (She notices Lawrence.) What's going on with you?
  • (A beat.)
  • Lawrence: I have absolutely no idea.
  • (The scene is retold with fireworks in the night sky as the last of the first part of the credits appear. The little silhouettes of the cast applaud as we fade to black.)
  • (Some ropes appear hanging on a pulley, as Norm walks up to the hanging ropes and starts pulling on one of them.)
  • Norm: Now, then. I start pulling on this rope.
  • (The rope he is pulling is carrying the rolling credits up.)
  • Norm: Wow. This is hard work. Hey, Patrick?
  • (Patrick enters.)
  • Patrick: Yes?
  • Norm: Could you help me lift these credits up?
  • Patrick: Of course I can. (He starts pulling on the other rope helping the credits rise up.) Boy, these credits must really have a lot of weight. Hey, Burt, come here.
  • (Burt enters.)
  • Burt: Yes? What is it?
  • Patrick: Would you do the honors?
  • Burt: Certainly.
  • (Burt grabs Patrick's rope with his trunk as Patrick leaves.)
  • Burt: I think perhaps we should handle these credits if they were smaller.
  • (Just then, Buford walks up.)
  • Buford: Did somebody mention smaller?
  • (Burt lets go of the rope and leaves, while Buford grabs it and starts pulling with his Tuff Shoo Laysizz.)
  • Buford: I never would have pictured sticking my...
  • Announcer: Tuff Shoo Laysizz!
  • Buford: ...onto this rope, which is easy, because it is... (He realizes he has tied his shoes to the rope.) Okay, I've heard of shoelaces helping me catch my fall, but this is ridiculous.
  • (Dr. Doofenshmirtz comes in and pulls the rope. Timo enters too.)
  • Timo: Seems to me there's something I have that will aid us. This pharmacist and I have put our heads together to create it. (He takes out the aforementioned device.) Behold, the Automated-Credit-Crawl-inator. In order to get the credits to crawl independently, I'm gonna need a volunteer.
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I'll take that. (He snatches the remote and presses a button, sending the credits go crawl very fast. Norm lets go of the rope.)
  • Norm: Father, are you all right?
  • Timo: Not to worry. I know a solution.
  • (The device falls into Timo's hands. He presses another button, reversing the credits to where they were and continue to scroll up individually. Dr. Doofenshmirtz falls down.)
  • Timo: I have innovatively succeeded again.
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Ow.
  • (Norm leaves.)
  • Norm: Well, looks like my work here is done.
  • (The credits continue crawling up. A few minutes later, Patrick walks up with a sponge mop, cleaning up a few credits. He looks at the sponge mop.)
  • Patrick: Hmm. Funny. This mop kinda reminds me of someone I know of. I don't remember who.
  • (He shrugs and leaves. The credits continue crawling up. A few minutes later, Perry the Platypus comes in his agent form. He places his fedora on a credit and reverts to pet form.)
  • Perry: (chatters.)
  • (He leaves.)
  • (A few more minutes later, Private walks up.)
  • Private: Watch this.
  • (He places a peanut butter winky on another credit. He leaves.)
  • (A few more minutes later, after the very end of the credits, Patrick appears again.)
  • Patrick: Oh, I give up.
  • (Clover walks up with the sponge mop.)
  • Patrick: Clover, what's the name of my best friend?
  • Clover: It's SpongeBob.
  • Patrick: SpongeBob?
  • Clover: That's it.
  • Patrick: Yes! That's it! (He laughs wildly for a moment.)
  • Clover: (sighs) I should've known.
  • Patrick: Oh. Hey, you can all leave now, folks. It's over.
  • (They both leave in different directions. Once they're gone, Clover appears with her magic remote.)
  • Clover: Well, almost. But first.
  • (She presses the power button to turn the screen off.)
  • Clover: (off-screen) There. Now, it's over.
Advertisement