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More Relics and things from mythology that aren’t Relics per the in game power up but references to myths and legendary items etc.

Greek Myths

  • Golden Apples of Discord/Chaos.

Eris’s Golden apples. It’s a tech upgrade from the temple that upon completing research it increases the favour generated by praying villagers by 15%. Sadly some tech upgrades are exclusive to certain civilisations so you can’t increase favour gathered from Norse units fighting by 15%.

Eris, the Greek Goddess of discord and chaos, liked to cause chaos and trickery. One day at a party the gods were having she tossed a golden apple labelled ‘For the fairest’ into the gathering of Gods and Goddesses. Athena, Hera and Aphrodite got in a fight over it and asked a mortal called Paris to decide which of them was the most beautiful. Athena offered him wisdom, Hera offered him power and Aphrodite offered him the most beautiful woman in Greece. Paris chose Aphrodite and she rewarded him with the beautiful Helen. And this of course started the war of Troy. Some scholars insist Aphrodite was supposed to offer Paris Courage, Mmmmm... Triforce...

Another Myth invoking Eris’s golden apples is that in some forms of media, for example Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, Her golden apples were sometimes left among mortals to play with. The apples also conferred the ability to inflict chaos, ie turn people into freakish monsters. These nonsensical monsters are her legions of chaos.

  • Golden Apples of the Hesperides.

Same as above but increases favour output by 20%.

For one of his twelve labours, Heracles had to obtain some golden apples from the garden of the Hesperides. Simple right? Wrong. The garden was surrounded on all sides by tremendous walls and the pesky Hesperides wouldn’t let anyone in their garden! Also the tree of golden apples was guarded by a fearsome dragon called Ladon.

  • Golden Apples of Atalanta.

Same as above but increases favour output by 25%.

Atalanta had many suitors who wanted to marry her. But she did not want to marry because she believed it would bring her great misfortune. Eventually she agreed that if a man could defeat her in a foot race, she was the fastest woman in Greece so it was impossible, she’d marry them. However if they lost she would have them killed. That seems a bit harsh... Eventually some guy won by asking the goddess Aphrodite to help him cheat. She gave him three golden apples and he put them about the place. Atalanta was so distracted finding the apples that the fella won the race so she reluctantly agreed to marry him. Then they had a son and then they shagged in Artemis’s temple so she turned them into a pair of lions.

  • Golden Apple of Midas.

King Midas was blessed with the ability to turn anything to gold by touching it. However this became a curse when his food turned to gold. He probably broke a tooth biting into a golden apple or something.

  • Aegis Shield.

Athena’s shield makes infantry less vulnerable to pierce attacks by 10%.

Perseus was sent on a seemingly impossible quest to slay the gorgon Medusa and bring back her head. The gods and goddesses helped him with winged sandals, a helmet of invisibility, A mirror shield and a golden sickle to cut through her brass neck. Once he decapitated Medusa he took her head. Along the way back home it bled and from the blood came Pegasus. Some myths say Medusa’s blood made a snake from every drop that fell, others say the blood made a giant scorpion. Perseus used the head to turn a sea monster into stone to rescue Andronema. And turn two wicked kings into stone. The king of Andronema’s home town who decided he fancied her after Perseus defeated the sea monster and the king that sent him off to slay Medusa in the first place so he could shag his mother. After turning the evil kings to stone, Perseus gave the head of Medusa to the goddess Athena. She mounted it on her shield or she had a shield with a picture of Medusa’s face or something.

  • Sarissa.

Hoplites are less vulnerable to hack attacks by 10%.

Alexander the Great invented a much longer spear he called the sarissa. Today we call these very long spears, pikes.

  • King Minos.

Minotaur Unit.

Labyrinth of Minos tech upgrade.

King Minos was a cruel tyrant of Crete. When he became king he asked Poseidon for a sign that he was a worthy king. Poseidon sent him a white bull. However Poseidon wanted the bull back as a sacrifice. Minos kept it so Poseidon cursed his wife, the Queen of Crete to to fall madly in love with the bull and shag it. She then became pregnant and gave birth to a frightening baby minotaur! And sadly died while giving birth to monstrous child. Minos was so disgusted with the bull headed feral child he locked it away in a tremendous labyrinth he ordered his slave Daedalus build for him. The minotaur was then only fed seven maidens and seven boys. It quickly became a vicious man eating beast. Then Minos started demanding other kingdoms send him their youths to feed his minotaur. However one young lad, Theseus, killed it. It’s not known what Minos did next, but Minoan culture is full of depictions of bulls and minotaurs.

  • Sylvan Lore.

Centaur Tech upgrade.

Hermes was more associated with his gift of music and inheriting the role as god of music from Apollo. However his son Pan, a fawn, was god of nature and forests and often soothed animals with his lyre and panpipes.

  • Gates of Tartarus/Adamantine.

Wall upgrade.

The Gates of Tartarus were the only way in and out of Tartarus and kept the titans locked within. They could only be opened by a mortal so if one of the gods went rogue they couldn’t unleash what lurked within. However Tartarus is deep within the Underworld which is impossible for the living to enter, or simply extremely difficult and dangerous. They were also forged out of Adamantine, an indestructible metal harder than diamond.

  • Winged sandles.

speeds up infantrymen such as hoplites.

Hermes the messenger god and god of roads, thieves and the Olympics, wore winged sandals to fly about everywhere. He lent some to Perseus so he could fly to Medusa’s lair. They’re a little less comfortable than riding a Pegasus but don’t need feeding. Greek hero Oscar gets some flying sandals later in his adventures. He still prefers to stay on the ground with regular foot wear though.

  • Regular Sandals.

Everyone in Greece wears Sandals.

  • Linen Chiton.

Basic Greek duds that does little except hide your nakedness. Also you get a cool leather belt and the bottom is pleated.

  • Helmet of invisibility.

Makes you invisible.

Hades wore a helmet that rendered him invisible to mortals.

  • Aspis/Hoplon.

A basic Hoplite’s shield. Universally used by lone warriors a simple shield to start with too. It’s round and sturdy and does the job. You can customise the design based on your home city. Oscar decided to paint an uppercase Omega on his....

Comes in Wooden or metal. Of course if you chose to craft one you need the materials and the right crafting benches. Wood doesn’t conduct electricity but burns easily. Metal melts only at very high temperatures for a prolonged period and you’d drop the shield in pain long before then. Unfortunately metal conducts heat and electricity.

  • Gladius/Xiphe.

A typical pointy sword. Romans call it a gladius, Greeks call it a xiphe. Like most metallic things conducts heat and electricity. Plus it gets crafted from stronger, sharper metals as humans evolved, studied metallurgy. For example very light metals that hold a sharp edge are great for swords but useless for war hammers and maces, as they essentially become whiffle bats. On the other hand heavy tough metals like lead do not make good swords.

Your typical RPG follows the ages of metal roughly. Copper weapons, Bronze (An alloy of tin and copper) Iron then finally Steel. (Barring legendary mythical metals.) You’ll find this true in all the civilisations of Age of mythology given the time period. Unless they make a caveman civilisation...

  • Olive leaves headband.

Makes you look Greek. Whether this is an urban legend perpetuated by stories I don’t know.

Oscar disliked olives.

  • Baklava.

A sweet pastry.

  • Olives.

Oily fruit eaten as a snack. Oscar dislikes the taste of them.

  • Aubergine.

Purple savoury fruit eaten as a vegetable or thrown at Pit by Aubergine wizards.

  • Bow.

Toxotes are Greek archers. As such the Greeks did use bows like many other civilisations. Oscar uses a short bow because of his small size.

  • Venomous arrows

Arrows dipped in Hydra blood. Inflict instant death or ceaseless agony upon those they hit.

  • Arrow.

Regular arrows.

  • Arrows of Apollo and Artemis.

Can grant life or strike down with plagues and illnesses upon men and women. Apollo shot his arrows at men and Artemis snuffed out the lives of the women in one Myth.

  • Arrows of Cupid/Eros.

Arrows of love with heart shaped heads that grant love at first sight to those hit with them upon the first person they see. Oh and the Greeks did practice homosexuality...

  • Cherub diapers.

In my fanon Cherubs wear diapers because it is obscene and illegal these days to depict them naked. Baby Oscar finds them far more comfortable than conventional disposable or cloth diapers.

  • Monsters.

Greek Myths are full of monsters like the hydra and chimeras.

Egyptian Myths

  • Electrum.

An alloy of Silver and gold. More useful for making things look nice and jewellery than any practical use.

  • Scarab amulet.

These scuttling dung beetles are sacred to Egyptians.

  • Wadjet eye.

An eye symbol.

  • Ankh

A cross with a loop on top. A symbol of immortality.

  • Sceptre of was.

A magic staff depicted in hieroglyphs. It is used to thwart the chaotic powers of Sutekh but he tried to steal one from Tutenstein. The staff has a jackal like or Sutekh animal’s head on it.

  • Horned viper.

A snake with horns depicted as a hieroglyph.

  • Khopesh

A curved Egyptian sword. Used in some video games such as Dark Cloud to represent some of the more fancier looking or exotic swords.

  • Leather shield.

Egyptian shields were strangely similar to the large oval leather/skin shields modern day African tribesmen use.

  • Papyrus paper.

Egyptians invented paper from papyrus plants. Use for doodling on. Or writing hieroglyphs.

  • Pyramid.

A triangular structure where a pharaoh is buried after he dies.

  • Canopic Jar.

The four sons of Horus protect the internal organs of a pharaoh placed within these jars topped with their heads.

  • Mummification

The gruesome act of embalming a dead pharaoh to prepare him for the afterlife. Once embalmed the pharaoh is referee to as a mummy. Cue thousands of ridiculous cracks about mums or mummies...

  • Pharaoh.

The king, in Egyptian culture.

  • False beard.

A long beard the pharaoh has. Some kings actually grew their facial hair long.

  • Book of the Dead.

A book on Egyptian funeral rites and evil magic. For example spells to resurrect the dead!

  • Book of the Living.

A book that is the good counterpart to the Book of the Dead. Contains lawful, good magic to set everything right. Ie return the undead to their graves, remove immortality and powers from Imhotep.

Norse Myths

  • Gungnir.

Odin’s spear.

  • Zantetsuken.

Odin’s sword.

  • Ring of Nibelung.

A ring that makes more rings.

  • Circular shield/Buckler.

The Norse liked circular shields for some reason.

  • Horned helmets.

An urban legend/misnomer. The Norse never wore horned helmets like German opera singing maidens. And Viking was the act of plundering or invading other countries, not what the Norse were called. Nor were they comical bickering husbands and nagging wives. They were bloodthirsty warriors.

  • Valhalla.

Norse heaven. The Norse believed it was good to die bravely in battle and shameful to die of old age or bed ridden. The brave were collected by Valkyries where they were slain and taken to Valhalla where they ate all they wanted, drink as much as they like and then had endless fights to train them up for Ragnarok.

  • Hel.

Norse Hell. The cowardly and sick dead who died at home were damned to Hel’s icy domain for all eternity.

  • Dwarf.

Short but wide fearsome bearded warriors and skilled blacksmiths. They like mining and crafting and drinking.

  • Elves.

Ceaselessly debating diplomacy and worshipping nature. These tall pointy eared immortal blond beings love trees and angrily attack those that cut down trees. Fearsome archers when they actually want to fight. Oscar’s friend Link, is an elf.

  • Humans.

Humans. Duh. Nothing special. They’re not immortal like elves or skilled in forging and metal craft like dwarves.

  • Halflings.

Short, cute cheerful people with furry feet and slightly pointed ears. Nervous and hate violence but are greedy when they find jewellery or gold. Despite disliking violence they carry dagger sized swords.

Built to resemble cute cartoon elves Shakespeare kept using in A Midsummer Night‘s Dream that infuriated Tolkien because he found them too silly. They can burrow underground like rabbits.

  • Orcs.

Corrupted beastly men that eat any meat, especially human flesh. Usually the evil race especially in Tolkien’s work.

  • Goblins.

Smaller than orcs, sometimes called kobolds. We must not look upon goblin men, we must not buy their fruits...

Often unhygienic and living in filthy places like sewers or swamps.

  • Trolls

Far larger than men and orcs. Although there are small trolls in some stories like Peer Gynt. (By Ibsen. Holy crud Peter! Run for your life!) These terrifying titans are night walking beasts because the sunlight turns them into stone. They eat people, kidnap maidens to convert them into lady trolls some how to mate with, kidnap and eat babies and replace them with their own ugly offspring, and hurl rocks at people and live under bridges preventing anyone or anything from crossing.

  • Night Elves.

Also called Dark Elves or Drow. They are not nice and peaceful like regular elves, they are evil and attack travellers. They have black or blueish skin.

  • Metal ages.

Norse are advanced enough to know what Copper, Bronze and Iron are. As such they do craft weapons from these metals. They apparently started to create steel but didn’t know what it was yet. They also crafted iron from meteors. Also metal music and viking gaaaaaah!

  • Mithril.

A legendary magic metal stronger than steel but very light and easy to draw out into fibres to make clothes from. Mithril vests protect against all blades except Nazgul blades.

  • Adamantide.

A legendary Greek metal harder than diamond but lighter than aluminium. Some video games rank it as stronger than Norse Mithril.

Atlantean Myths

  • Orichalcos/Orikalkos.

A legendary metal in Atlantean Myths that’s basically Mithril or Adamantine/ide by another name.

  • Orichalcium.

A highly radioactive substance far more radioactive and powerful than uranium. The Atlantean had nuclear power...

  • Orichalcium tipped bullets.

Radioactive metals have such strange properties they make great armour piercing rounds.

  • Fire throwing tanks powered with naphtha and quicklime as fuel.

The Atlantans had flamethrower tanks!

  • Automata.

Robots. Yes they had robots too.

  • Seal of Orichalcos

A forbidden Yugioh Card that increases all monster attack points by 500 points but gives them evil red eyes and if you lose the duel then you lose your soul!

  • Fanatics

Mad screaming warriors with Atlantean glyphs tattooed upon them wielding two swords. Yes these berserkers were the first fanatics ever...

  • The Great Flood.

Poseidon sunk Atlantis because they worshiped the Titan Oceanus instead of him.

Chinese Myths

  • Gunpowder.

The Chinese invented Gunpowder and laid the foundations of high explosives and destructive weapons like dynamite and nitroglycerin.

  • Bomb.

Circular typical bombs. Oscar uses like Link to blow through walls and damage armoured monsters.

  • Firecracker

An explosive stick of gunpowder similar to its eventual successor dynamite. Used by Monkey from Monkey Hero to do the same as Link and blow through walls.

  • Rocket arrow/bomb arrow.

An arrow with a bomb on the end. Works like a rocket propelled grenade and blows stuff up.

  • Infernal device/The Dragon.

An ancient Chinese rocket launcher.

  • Peaches

Sweet fruit with a stone in the middle. Immortality peaches grant immortality to whoever eats one.

  • Rice

white grains from an aquatic plant that lives in paddy fields.

  • Noodles

Chinese spaghetti.

  • Bamboo.

A hard stick like relative of grass used in construction. Pandas like to eat it.

  • Tea plant.

Makes a hot brown drink called tea.

  • Chinese vampires.

Hopping vampires. Yes there are vampires in Chinese mythology...

  • Genghis Khan.

Mongolian warlord. Oscar likes to scream Khaaaaaaaaaan a lot when he is mentioned. Unfortunately Khan was a very common Mongolian surname.

  • Paper talisman.

A small sheet of paper with Chinese magic incantations written on it. Used to freeze monsters by sticking a talisman on them.

  • Peasant hat.

Aka a cartoon cymbal hat seen in caricatures of Chinese people.

  • Qing dynasty fashion.

Aka how Chinese vampires dress. small round hats or toques with long black ponytails, hands in each other hand’s sleeve.

Christian Mythology

  • Cross/Crucifix

What Jesus died on. A holy symbol and repels evil demonic creatures like demons and vampires.

  • Holy water

sacred water used to bless people or burn vampires.

  • Garlic

A smelly vegetable that repels vampires and is used in cooking.

  • God’s fire.

Magic fire from the Ark of the covenant that kills anyone who looks upon the ark. God once took the form of a burning bush to speak to Moses.

  • Ark of the covenant.

A golden box that no one must look upon when the Lord is contacted through it. Because you will die horribly if you look upon it. Ghostly angels appear to see who is looking at the ark.

Inside the ark are the two stones the Ten Commandments were wrote upon. Aaron’s staff or sometimes Moses’ staff and a pot of Mana.

  • Mana

A white sugary substance.

  • Moses’s staff.

Turns into a snake and parts the Red Sea.

  • Aaron’s staff.

Staff belonging to Aaron who was some important guy during the story of Moses.

  • Plagues of Egypt.

The angel of death!! And other things like water turning into blood and locusts.

  • Noah’s Ark.

A huge wooden ship with two of every animal on. A male and a female so they can repopulate the Earth. The dinosaurs were not allowed on the ark. That’s why they died.

  • Garden of Eden

A garden where nothing dies and talking animals willingly pull out some of their meat to offer to you to eat, already cooked and glazed with sauces too! All the plants have edible fruit but you must not eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. It’s inhabitants are Adam and Eve, the first humans, Satan in the form of a snake, cherubs and all the animals of the world. Even dinosaurs. Until they displeased God by eating from the tree of knowledge.

  • Dinosaurs.

Oscar believes there were dinosaurs in the bible...

  • Adam and Eve.

The first humans. They were naked until they ate the forbidden fruit and decided being naked was embarrassing. Then God kicked them out of Eden.

  • The Snake.

Satan as a snake who tempted Eve.

  • Angel with a flaming sword.

The angel who guards Eden so man can not return.

  • Cain

The first ever murderer. Killed his brother Abel.

  • Judas Iscarot.

Also Judas the traitor. A traitor basically who told the Romans where Jesus was while he was raving in a garden.

  • King Herod.

A tyrannical King who tried to kill the baby Jesus because people decided Jesus was their king.

  • Pontius Pilate.

The Roman who ordered Jesus’s execution. He also invented Pilates.

  • Binding of Isaac.

Abraham was told to sacrifice his son Isaac on a mountain then an angel told him at the last minute that God changed his mind and this was a a test of loyalty. God instead wanted Abraham to circumcise Isaac, creating the first religious circumcision.

The Binding of Isaac is also a video game. Oscar plays it regularly in Lovejoy’s church to annoy him and Ms Albright.

  • Julius Caesar.

A Roman emperor who invented the caesarean. According to Oscar.

  • Zebedee.

Oscar firmly believes Zebedee from the Magic Roundabout was in the bible.

  • St Bartholomew.

A headless saint who strangely resembles Bart Simpson.

  • John the Baptist.

Baptised people. He stuffed people under the water in a river briefly to baptise them.

  • Jesus’s feast of bread and fish.

Jesus fed the five thousand on bread and fish. Basically he made thousands of fish sandwiches.

  • Holy fish sandwich.

See feeding the five thousand. Also a religious swear word along side damn, whore and Leviticus.

  • Jesus turning water into wine.

He obviously was quite the party guy.

  • Jesus resurrects a dead guy.

Yes he resurrected a dead guy.

  • The last supper.

Jesus bought his friends bread and wine and freaked them out by saying it was his body and blood. Then he said one of them would betray him. Then an evil gypsy bribed Judas with silver to do just that. Then Jesus’s friends never had supper ever again until Jesus rose from the dead.

  • Jesus the carpenter.

Jesus made the finest furniture.

  • God impregnates Mary.

All gods, even the one true lord had sex with mortal women.

  • Jehovah's Witnesses.

God aka Jehovah needed witnesses at his paternity hearing to prove he was Jesus’s father.

  • Rosemary’s baby/Damien/Omen.

Satan also had sex with mortal women and fathered a son.

Sumerian mythology

  • Gozer the Gozerian.

A dark god/Demi god who would appear once their minions Zuul and Vinz Clotho mated. They would then ask mortals present if they were a god. If they said no, Gozer zapped them with lightning. Gozer would then ask any survivors to chose the form of their destructiom. Gozer has taken the form of a Torb, a Sloar, a woman wearing crystals with red eyes, Stay Puft the marshmallow man and a Giant fire breathing Edgar Hoover.

Gozer is also known as Gozer the destructor, Gozer the traveller and Volguus Zildrohar.

  • Zuul.

Zuuuuuuuuul! Zuul motherfucker! Zuuuuuul!

Gozer’s right hand er dog thing. Likes to hide in refrigerators, boil eggs nearby, yell “Zuuuuuuuul!” at people and sometimes “Zuul mother fucker!”, eat human brains and make arms rip out from armchairs and couches to restrain people and scare the pants off of people, particularly children who grew up watching Ghostbusters.

  • Vinz Clotho.

The Keymaster to Zuul’s Gatekeeper. And Zuul’s mate/breeding partner.

  • Baal.

Wirshippd by pagans and Canaanites until Moses kills them for blasphemy.

  • Marduk.

God of cities. Hates Tiamat for some reason.

  • Pazuzu.

Pazuzu! Pazuzuuuuuuuuu! Pazuzu you ungrateful gargoyle! I put you through college!

The four faced god of winds and king of wind demons. Likes to possess people and go by the name Captain Howdy and trick Christian vicars into thinking he’s one of their faith’s demons. Professor Farnsworth put him through college. A fun fact about him is that he has a snake for a penis.

  • Tiamat.

A snake goddess who hates Marduk because he killed her. She also dislikes Gozer and seals him/her/it away if summoned while Gozer is on a rampage. She has pet dragons with poisonous blood.

  • Ishtar.

Sumarian equivalent of Isis. Also she shags lions and made lion hybrid beasts like the Shedu.

Serris from Metroid Fusion is called Ishtar in the Japanese version.

  • Nergal

Centaur God of plagues and diseases. Spreads horrible boil and pustule diseases etc.

  • Dagon

Merman god of harvests but in modern day circles a god of demons.

  • Shamash.

Sun God.

  • Gilgamesh.

Monster and demon slaying hero.

  • Babylon

Primeval Iraq.

  • Babylon 5.

A sci-fi programme.

Shintō Mythology

  • Sushi.

A way of serving rice, seaweed and fish together in delicious cute little rolls and nigiri. Eaten with ginger, wasabi and soy sauce.

  • Tamago.

Egg, as in sweet omelette nigiri.

  • Maki

Sushi roll. Cute looking and magically delicious.

  • Wasabi.

It burns! Oh god! It buuuuuuuurns!

A fiery green paste from the Japanese cousin of a horse radish.

  • Soy sauce.

brown salty sauce for sushi and other Oriental food.

  • Daikon/Mooli

A long white radish.

  • Leeks.

Long green vegetables wielded by ducks.

  • Fox demon.

Kitsune yokai. Cute mythical beings that resemble a small boy about kindergarten aged with a big fluffy tail and paws for feet. They turn into Kyuubi or giant demon foxes with yellow fur every lunar eclipse. They attack with their toys and illusions. A fox demon’s toy ball is called a Hoshi no tama or a Star ball. If taken, the fox demon offers themselves into your servitude in return for their toy ball.

They can also shape shift.

  • Dog demons.

Inu Yokai. They have little dog ears, a belligerent personality and when a dog demon that has sired pups dies his pups make swords out of his gigantic fangs! They do sometimes breed with humans but hybrids are disliked greatly in their pack.

A dog demon’s father’s fang as a sword is sacred to him.

  • Cat demons/Cat people.

Neko jinn. Attractive cat girls with cat ears and cat tails that anime artists simply must over sexualise!

  • Tanuki/Tanooki.

Racoon dogs. Part dog, with a stripy raccoon tail. Can turn into a statue with swollen testicles.

  • Tengu.

Bird men!

  • Tiger wolf/dog.

Wolves with tiger stripes and horns and lightning powers or fire breathing or ice breathing.

  • Leek duck.

Ducks with leeks!

  • Fire breathing chicken/Eastern Cockatrice.

Original recipe or extra crispy?

  • Lucky waving cat

a model of a cat that waves and promotes good luck and wealth. They have a gold coin like emblem on their foreheads.

  • Wish granting fish.

Grants wishes if spared.

  • Fishes that turn into dragons when they hop over a waterfall.

Gyaradooooooos!

  • Goldfish

Small orange fish kept as pets in huge ponds.

  • Tatami floors

Floors of tea houses.

  • Paper walls.

Don’t walk through them...

  • Tea house.

Japanese style homes. Mostly used to have ceremonial tea in these days.

  • Japanese garden.

A pretty garden. In Age of Mythology Pantheos these are used by the Shintō civilisation in a similar manner the the Chinese Zen Gardens.

  • Rice ball.

A ball of rice with nori seaweed on the bottom and pickled ume plums inside. Censored by 4Kids and replaced by sandwiches and donuts for some reason.

  • Kimono

Japaneae pyjamas for wearing during ceremonial tea.

  • Chopsticks.

For eating food with or wearing in your hair.

  • Samurais

Honourable katana wielding warriors that believe in the code of honour or bushido. Ie no sneak attacks or back stabbing.

  • Royal guards.

Wear dorky looking armour and helmets that look like Lady Deathstrike’s hair from the 90s X Men cartoon. They have katanas and take ages to kill in Ninja Shadow of Darkness.

  • Ronin.

A free samurai who wanders with no lord or master. Can be hired by anyone who can afford to pay them but usually they’ll loyally protect the emperor.

  • Wise old men and dojo masters.

Often caricatures of Asian culture. May be the main hero’s grandfather.

  • Katana.

A long straight Japanese sword.

  • Sai

Deadly garden forks! Or hand tridents...

  • Throwing stars/Shuriken

small, metal and thrown with deadly accuracy by ninjas.

  • Ninjas.

Dishonourable assassins who break the bushido code by stealthily killing in dishonest ways like tossing throwing stars from the shadows and poisoning food.

  • Bushido.

The warriors code. Ie don’t kill your enemy in a sneaky manner, face them in battle! And don’t back stab them when they or you surrender.

  • Shogun.

A military dictatorship or junta. To be precise the actual dictator leading the whole thing.

Hindu and Persian mythology

Australian mythology

  • Dream time.

How the Earth was created. Depicted in Aboriginal art and cave painting.

  • Boomerang

An Australian weapon that always comes back.

Oscar opened the large wooden chest with golden locks and hinges. Tah dah dah dah dah daaaaaaah! With a victorious fanfare from nowhere he held up a boomerang.

  • Aboriginal

Native Australians. Strangely no friendly “G’day mate!” Or “Crikey! I’ll slip a shrimp on the barbie!” But spears in the chest and heads on pikes from angry tribesmen.

  • Modern Australians.

Funny accents, Crocodile Dundee and their ancestors are all the criminals the British transported to Australia in the 1700s. Strangely friendly for people who’s ancestors are criminals.

  • Kiwi

Native New Zealander’s.

  • Kiwi bird

Tiny birds with long beaks.

  • Kiwi fruit.

Brown hairy fruit with green flesh and black seeds.

  • Sheep.

Baaaaaaaaa! The dominant species in New Zealand.

  • Wellington boots/Wellies.

Because of New Zealand’s capital city.

  • Haka.

Tribal warrior dance still practiced to this day in New Zealand.

  • Kangaroo.

A hopping creature with a pouch. In Age of Mythology it is a food animal your villagers can kill. Some wear boxing gloves.

Baby Link was riding in Ricky’s pouch. Oscar remembered that time Homer and Bart tried to ride in Kangaroo pouches like in the cartoons.

  • Wallaby.

A smaller hopping creature with a pouch.

  • Koala.

A small bear like marsupial that eats eucalyptus leaves, their own joey’s poop and they can get chlamydia!

Also small furry grey teddy bear like and they have big wet shiny black noses. Oscar loves creatures with big wet shiny black noses so he can honk their noses.

Oscar calls Koalas as Koala bears.

  • Drop Bear.

A carnivorous koala that attacks humans.

  • Dingo.

dog like creatures that eat babies.

  • Tasmanian devil.

A furry creature that spins about as a tornado chewing up everything and jabbering and making rude noises with its tongue. They get facial tumours unfortunately.

  • Joey

A baby marsupial but can mean any baby mammal in Australia.

  • Tasmanian tiger.

A dog or wolf like creature with tiger stripes. Unfortunately extinct.

  • Bandicoot

In real life shrew like, in fiction, man sized marsupial that spins about as a tornado but has a nicer, gentle temperament than the chaotically evil Tasmanian devil.

Dislikes mad scientists.

  • Crocodile

Carnivorous reptile that may be hunted for food by your villagers but may hunt them first...

Oscar likes to make jokes about people making him a crocodile sandwich and make it snappy, gags.

  • Duck billed platypus.

A crime against nature caused by grafting a large flat duck like bill on a beaver. Lays eggs despite being a mammal and has venomous spurs.

  • Venomous creatures.

The reason why Australia is called the country that keeps trying to kill you. Everything here is deadly or venomous.

Everything here is poisonous! Banana is poisonous! Monkey is poisonous!

  • That’s not a knife, this is a knife.

A machete to be precise.

  • Australian beer.

Fosters is weak and rubbish. Never order it. Order XXXX instead.

  • Hats with corks.

comes with a machete and a sniper rifle. And a pet goanna.

  • Clever girl!

Australian sniper huntsman complements a velociraptor before it eats him.

  • Goanna.

Egg eating lizards.

  • A shrimp on the barbie!

A misnomer. Australians don’t barbecue shrimps and eat them hot. It’s too hot in Australia. They eat cooked ones cold and served on ice. And they call them prawns.

  • Didgeridoo.

A long tube instrument.

  • Wobble board.

A board that makes a sound when wobbled.

  • Rain maker.

An instrument that sounds like hail or pouring rain.

  • Rolf Harris.

Australia’s local pedophile.

American mythology

  • Tomahawk

A throwing axe. Caves in skulls nicely too.

  • Totem Pole.

Sacred animal faces on a column.

  • Shaman.

Village magic man.

  • Feathered headdress.

And Red faces and hollering.

  • Animal worship.

May also include naming the village chief Big chief Buffalo or something. And wearing skulls and skins.

  • Plant worship.

Sentient talking tree grandmothers like in Disney’s Pocahontas. And you thought Young Link was a fruit loop for living with a tree and claiming that the Deku Tree is his foster father....

  • Peace pipe.

Smoking for religious reasons.

  • Thunder bird.

A mythical giant bird that has nothing to do with that show about puppets on an island by Super Marionation.

  • Horned Serpent.

A giant snake with horns. The horns are used to make wands for Ilvamorny students.

Miscellaneous

  • Leather shoes

Your basic footwear in cooler climates. In hotter climates people wear sandals or go bare foot.

Oscar was never one for fashion. So the primitive times where footwear was only just invented to do the job of protecting feet suited him

  • Sandals.

Fashionable footwear in Greece and Atlantis.

  • Furry boots.

For very cold environments. They’re kinda cute on Oscar.

These boots make you look like some kind of barbarian.

  • Iron Boots.

Heavy boots plated with iron for weighing down rusted switches, walking through strong winds, walking on magnetised walls and walking under water. You’ll move slowly though.

  • Hover Boots.

Walk on air briefly but you have no traction and slide about.

  • Pegasus Boots

Run extremely fast and smash through solid rock.

  • Winged Boot/Sandals

Allows you to fly.

  • Power Bracelets/Power gloves.

Pick up heavy things. With the power gloves. Pick up even heavier objects.

  • Silver Gauntlets/Golden Gauntlets.

Same but in 3D Zelda.

  • Zora/Kappa Flippers.

Let’s Link swim in 2D games because he forgot how to swim.

  • Merman tail.

Let’s Link dive and swim underwater. Also the MerLink sprite is cute!

  • Silver scale/Golden scale.

same but in 3D Zelda increases time and depth of dive.

  • Zora tunic.

Breath underwater infinitely.

  • Phrygian cap.

A long green floppy cap Elves wear.

  • Shovel

Dig the soil.

  • Mole Mitts.

Dig faster and deeper with these gloves.

  • Goron Tunic

Protects agains very hot environments.

  • Anouki Parka/Ice Climber Parka.

Protects agains frigid environments.

  • Gerudo Voe clothes.

Keeps you cool and hydrated in deserts. A voe is a man in Gerudo tongue.

  • Gerudo Vai clothes.

Impersonate a Gerudo woman because they won’t let men enter their town but will kidnap them to marry them.

  • Nemean Lion’s skin/pelt.

A furry hooded cape that arrows can’t pierce.

  • Poisonous Nemean Lion’s skin/pelt.

Same but soaked in poisonous Hydra blood. It sticks to you and causes never ending agony.

  • Squeaky shiny rubber clown nose.

Greek Hero Oscar wears one painted black with the Nemean Lion pelt for some reason. Probably as a cartoon animal nose.

  • Chiton/Tunic

Your clothes. Oscar wears a chiton, Link wears a tunic.

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