Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday The 13th Part 2

Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday The 13th Part 2 is a 2013 Parody Comedy film and the sequel to the 2000 comedy film, Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday The 13th. The film stars, Kimberly Kardashian, Bobby Campo, Danielle Panabaker, Nick Kroll, Jennifer Carpenter, Alan Rickman, Tony Goldwyn, Tracy Morgan, Darrell Hammond, Addy Miller, Denise Richards, Julia Roberts and Mary Winstead.

Tagline
If You Liked Scary Movie 2, You'll Love This.

Plot
Snarky and bigoted science teacher, Professor Franklin sends his class to a mansion known as Dark House for a week to film a horror movie. They are mentored by several conductors of the house and learn to work with special effects. Martina Martinez meets back up with her ex-boyfriend, Dawson Deery and invites him along for the trip. While they are staying at the house, the students soon discover that the special effects are turning real and they must survive from their deadly tactics. A side from that, a dark entity begins haunting Martina and Dawson while they're alone in a dark room. Martina and Dawson dig deeper into their research about Dark House and discover that a vengeful spirit from their past is stalking them and wants revenge on the couple and their professor.

Cast
Kimberly Kardashian as Deborah Massmurderer - She is a high school student who is very slutty and bitchy in her own hot ways and she hits on anyone she sees. Deborah's family owns several Jewelry shops and as a result, she lives a rich lifestyle. She is sweet, but conceited and makes every possible situation about her. She is the parody of Theo from The Haunting and Ariel from Dark House.

Bobby Campo as Dawson Deery - He is Martina's ex-boyfriend who survived the Spring Break Massacre with her and is now coming on the trip to Dark House with Martina and her class. Dawson is very slow-witted and sexually inexperienced to the point of having no control over his urges. He is the parody of Luke Sanderson from The Haunting and Rudy from Dark House.

Danielle Panabaker as Martina Martinez - She is Dawson's ex-girlfriend who survived the Spring Break Massacre with him and is now going on a haunted fieldtrip with Dawson and her class to Dark House. Martina is a punk chick who knows how to fight, but also has a strong sense of romance and care about her. She is the parody of Nell Vance from The Haunting and Claire Thompson from Dark House.

Nick Kroll as Ross Fiekelman - He is Professor Franklin's handicapped assistant. Ross loves to get a job done and accepts the fact that he has to spend his entire life in a wheelchair, and doesn't except help from anybody due to his extreme sense of pride. He is very educated in math and physics, but has an air of immaturity about him. He is the parody of Harris from Dark House.

Jennifer Carpenter as Tuesday Nite - She is a high school student who falls in love with the Dark House ghost and becomes his sex partner in fulfilling his life. Tuesday loves to skateboard, watch soap operas and dreams of becoming a fashion designer in Hollywood. She is the parody of Mary Lambetta from The Haunting and Lily from Dark House.

Alan Rickman as Professor Franklin/Henry Kane - Professor Franklin is a Highschool professor who takes his students to Dark House to make a horror movie. He is a genius in psychology, but comes off a little creepy and secretly knows more about Dark House than he lets on. He is the parody of Dr. David Marrow from The Haunting and Professor Walston Rey from Dark House. Henry Kane is Professor Franklin's evil twin brother and the entity of Dark House who wants revenge against his brother. He is the parody of Henry Kane from Poltergeist.

Tony Goldwyn as Father Darius - He is an exorcist who operates on the demons. He has studied the practice of exorcisms his whole life and has a bit of a perverted attitude towards possessed female victims. Father Darius does his best to get a job done, but is often too squeamish when it comes to dealing with violent activities. He is the parody of Father Damien Karras from The Exorcist.

Tracy Morgan as Father Hartman - He is Father Darius' assistant who deals in exorcisms and always gives his full effort even when the job gets tough. Though funny, he is much more serious than his assistant and has a weakness for dirty magazines. He is the parody of Father Lankester Merrin from The Exorcist.

Darrell Hammond as Mr. Gayley - He is the caretaker of Dark House. Mr. Gayley is very vulgar but flattering and he has a massive gay crush on Dawson, which he is never too ashamed to show. Mr. Gayley comes off as creepy and engages in a lot of strange activity such as cutting up dead bodies and using them to make skin suits and masks, but his heart is often in the right place. He is the parody of Mr. Dudley from The Haunting.

Addy Miller as Tiffany Ray - She is one of the ghosts of Dark House who resembles the Tiffany Doll from Child's play 4: Bride Of Chucky.

Denise Richards as Mistress Kane - She is Henry Kane's mistress who haunts Dark House with him. She is very beautiful and luxurious, which gets the attention of lots of men and uses her physical stature as her strength to seduce and ultimately control the people around her. Though girly and seemingly powerless, Mistress Kane can put up a fight when it comes to getting what she wants and is often unfaithful to her husband when looking for sexual attention.

Julia Roberts as Ms. Compton - She is Ronald Raegan's mother who tries to get help from priests to banish the demons in her daughter. She is a loving, caring mother who wants only to protect her daughter and give her the help she needs. She is the parody of Chris MacNeil from The Exorcist.

Mary Winstead as Ronald Raegan - She is a young, innocent teenage girl who is possessed by demons. Ronald is a sweet and sunny girl who tries to make the best out of a bad situation, but once possessed, she begins to tap more into her dark side and slowly evolves into a deteriorating, vomitting and sexually vulgar monster who lives to serve the Devil. She is the parody of Regan MacNeil from The Exorcist.

Parodies
The Exorcist - Main parody

The Haunting - Main parody

Dark House - Main parody

House On Haunted Hill - The equipment around the house and the ghost's ability to turn his victims into stone.

13 Ghosts - The time portal used to send the ghost back to hell and the mansion's machine-like structure.

Child's Play 4: Bride Of Chucky - One of the ghosts resembles the Tiffany doll from Child's Play 4: Bride Of Chucky.

Paranormal Entity - A ghost constantly attacks Martina and Dawson in their sleep and drags its victims around the mansion.

Hannibal Lecter - Mr. Gayley wears a face mask and makes skin suits out of his victims.

Planet Of The Apes - Professor Franklin brings his group down to a lab that tests on gorillas and they become possessed and turn deadly violent.

The Fog - Martina and Dawson find a room full of fog with a monster coming out of it.

Poltergeist - Tuesday is dragged through a television screen and the name of the Dark House ghost is Henry Kane.

Spiderman - Dawson dresses up as Spiderman and flies around the room to save Martina and Deborah from Mr. Gayley.

Final Destination - Martina has a premonition where a cluster of gorillas attack a group of scientists in the basement and right afterward, the vision becomes true.

Deaths
Father Hartman - Father Hartman and Father Darius gather in Ronald's bedroom while she is lying in her bed and prepare to perform a biblical ritual in order to ban supernatural demons from Ronald's body. As Father Hartman reads from the bible to get rid of Ronald's possession, Ronald grabs his wrist and telepathically sends electrical currents through Father Hartman's body, causing him to collapse and convulse onto the floor.

Father Darius - After witnessing Father Hartman's death, Father Darius decides to try to test Ronald's power for fun. He touches Ronald's arm and electrical currents are telepathically sent through his body, causing him to collapse and convulse onto the floor.

Ronald Raegan - After Ronald kills Father Hartman and Father Darius, she decides to test her own power by masturbating in her bed for pleasure. While she is masturbating, an electric shock is telepathically sent through Ronald's body, causing her to convulse on her bed before blowing into pieces.

Tuesday Nite - While Tuesday is preparing to go to bed, her bedroom door suddenly opens and closes on its own. She is then thrown against her mirror by the entity. Tuesday leaves her room and calls out for her friends, but no one is there. Her door then shuts again on its own and she demands for it to open. Tuesday's door then swings open and hits her in the face, knocking her down onto the floor. As Tuesday stands back up, the entity drags her around the mansion, which she is excited by. She then gets thrown against a wall and dragged down the staircase. The entity then throws Tuesday through the window and onto a truck, where the entity proceeds to rape her. She is then thrown back into the house and against a television set, where the entity drags her through the screen.

Mr. Gayley - After Mr. Gayley corners Martina and Deborah in the basement, Dawson appears dressed as Spiderman and flies over to Mr. Gayley. But Mr. Gayley throws a dinosaur bone into Dawson's stomach, knocking him down onto the floor. Dawson stands back up and elbows Mr. Gayley in the back and smears his face against a pile of dog feces. However, Mr. Gayley breaks out of Dawson's grip and punches Dawson in the face before flying through the ceiling and into the sky. As Mr. Gayley is flying higher into the sky, a plane hits him and knocks him back down.

Henry Kane - As Martina stands on a target inside of the mansion to prepare to fight with Henry Kane, Henry flies into the mansion and accidentally flies through tables and vases before crashing into a ceiling fan and is thrown through the window. Henry flies back into the room and attempts to take Martina to hell with him through the time portal. But Dawson grabs a rope stock and ties Henry's hands behind his back with it and pushes him into the time portal sending him back to hell.

Mistress Kane - After Dawson kills Henry, Mistress Kane flies into the mansion and attempts to seduce Dawson into joining the dark side with her. Martina calls for Dawson, but he is captivated by the mistress' beauty and charm. Martina threatens Mistress Kane to stay away from her boyfriend and punches her in the face. Martina and Mistress Kane then fall into a mud bath and start wrestling with each other. Mistress Kane elbows Martina in the stomach and smashes a vase over her head. Martina stands up and kicks Mistress Kane in the groin, but to no defeat. Martina then karate kicks Mistress Kane into the fireplace.

The prologue with a parody of The Exorcist
(Ronald is twisting her head around and giggling in her bed)

Ms. Compton: Ronald, is everything alright up there?

Ronald (Screams): Fuck me now mother pig!

Ms. Compton (To herself): Yeah, she's fine.

(Father Darius and Father Hartman arrive at the front door)

(Ms. Compton opens the door)

Ms. Compton: Father Darius?

Father Darius: That's what it says on my underwear.

Ms. Compton: Oh, I'm sorry Father but can your homeboy give us a minute?

Father Hartman: Um, I'm the other priest ma'm.

Ms. Compton: Oh, forgive me G. So are you sure you can help my daughter?

Father Darius: We're gonna try our best ma'm.

(Ronald screams in a Devilish voice)

Father Darius: Wow! Is she having an orgasm?

Ms. Compton: No. I think she's with the demon.

Father Darius: Well, there goes my shot with her.

(Ms. Compton glares at Father Darius)

Father Hartman: May we see the girl?

Ms. Compton: Yes, of course.

Father Hartman: May I use your bathroom first?

Ms. Compton: Yes.

Father Hartman: Thank you.

(Father Hartman grabs a dirty magazine)

Father Hartman: I'll be taking this dirty magazine with me.

(Father Hartman goes to the bathroom)

(Father Darius knocks on Ronald's door)

Ronald (Demonic voice): Mm, are we having a three way now?

Father Darius: Ms. Raegan, I'm here to help you.

Ronald (Demonic voice): Don't open that door.

Father Darius: Ma'm, I must come in there.

(Father Darius kicks the door down)

(Ronald is defecating in the toilet, groaning)

Father Darius: Oh my God, HARTMAN!

(Father Hartman is masturbating on the toilet)

Father Hartman: I'll be right there.

(Father Hartman walks into Ronald's bedroom)

Father Darius: Wow, for a 17 year old pure girl, she sure is horny.

Father Hartman: Just get in there.

(Ronald lays under her covers in her bed)

Father Hartman: Let's begin. In the name of The Father, The Son, The Holy Sin, the aliens who think they are God, Jerry Springer, Megan Fox and Jessica Biel's holy great ass. Ah men.

Ronald (Demonic voice): Shut up and fuck me now negro.

Father Darius: Alow me.

(Father Darius lunges toward Ronald)

Father Hartman: Darius, get away from her. Again, for the fathers and the sinners, we hereby...

(Ronald throws up on Father Darius and Father Hartman)

Ronald (Demonic voice): Ah, that's better.

Father Darius: That's nothing. Check this out.

(Father Darius forces himself to throw up on Ronald)

(Father Hartman becomes sickened and throws up on Father Darius and Ronald)

Ms. Compton (To herself): I shouldn't leave my daughter with men anymore.

(The trio are cleaned off)

Father Hartman: Now, for the ritual. In the name of the Father, the Son and the...

(Ronald grabs Father Hartman's wrist and telepathically sends electrical currents through his body, causing him to collapse and convulse onto the floor)

Father Darius: Wow! I wanna try that.

(Father Darius touches Ronald's arm and an electric shock gets telepathically sent through his body, causing him to collapse and convulse onto the floor)

Ronald (to herself): Hm.

(Ronald masturbates and an electrical shock is telepathically sent through her body, causing her to convulse on her bed before she blows into pieces)

Martina and Dawson meet back up and tell a flashback of their break up at the senior prom
(Martina is walking down her school hallway)

(Dawson walks by Martina)

Dawson: Martina?

Martina: Dawson?

Dawson: Wow, it's been a long time.

Martina: I know. What are you doing here? I didn't know you went to Anorexia Mountain High School.

Dawson: Yeah, I just transferred two minutes ago.

Deborah: Hey Martina. Can I borrow your notes for Science?

Martina: Oh, to study for the exam?

Deborah: No, to cheat off of them during the exam.

Martina: Sure.

(Martina hands Deborah her notes)

(Dawson stares at Deborah romantically)

(Dawson envisions Deborah and Martina wrestling with each othet in a mud bath)

(Back to actuality)

Deborah: Is he okay?

Martina: Oh yeah. That's Dawson, my ex.

Deborah: Hi Dawson.

(Dawson starts drooling)

Martina: Say hi, Dawson.

Dawson (Mumbling): Hi Dawson.

Deborah: I'm sorry?

Dawson: Oh, I mean hi. I'm Dawson.

Deborah: So why did you two break up?

(The film flashes back to Martina and Dawson at their senior prom)

Martina: Isn't this the best prom ever, Dawson?

(Dawson mumbles)

Martina: Dawson?

(Martina sees Dawson looking at a hooker performing on stage)

Martina: Dawson!

Dawson: What?

Martina: Who are you looking at?

Dawson: I'm just taking inventory on the... stage.

Martina: Okay. Well, can you get me some punch?

(Dawson continues to stare at the hooker and starts drooling)

Martina: Dawson? Hello.

Dawson: What?

(Martina sighs)

Martina: Punch, please!

Dawson: Um, sure.

(Dawson punches Martina in the face)

Martina: Dawson!

Dawson: You told me to punch you in the face.

Martina: No, get me some punch!

Dawson: You could've said that in the first place, bossy.

(30 minutes later)

Martina (To herself): Dawson, where are you?

(Martina walks behind the stage and finds Dawson on the stage having sex with the hooker)

Martina: Dawson!

(Martina walks away)

Dawson: Wait, this isn't what it looks like.

Hooker: I'm still getting paid, right?

(Dawson sighs and pays the hooker)

Professor Franklin takes his group of students to a Gorilla Lab
Professor Franklin: And here we have a room ran by none other than Gorillas. Nature's cruel joke.

Deborah: Aw, they're so furry.

Ross (In his head): So, she likes animals.

Professor Franklin: Well, let's move to the other side of the room.

(The group leaves the room)

(Deborah pets the gorillas)

Ross: So, you like gorillas?

Deborah: Oh God no. Just the animals.

(Ross stares off confused)

Deborah: Hey little guy.

(Deborah picks up one of the gorillas)

Ross: Yeah, they are cute.

Deborah: Do you wanna hold one?

Ross: Um, sure.

(Ross tries to grab a gorilla and one of them attacks him and Ross falls out of his wheelchair)

Deborah: Wow, you're so good with animals.

(Ross tries to fight off the gorilla)

Deborah (Baby voice): Who's a cute furry little animal? You are.

(The gorilla bites Ross' neck)

Deborah: Oh jeez.

(Deborah pulls the gorilla off of Ross and he sits back into his wheelchair)

Ross: Thanks. I totally had that.

Martina has a premonition about a cluster of gorillas attacking a group of scientists
Professor Franklin: And here, we have a group of scientists who are working on a theory. Are animals just like us and deserve to be treated equally with love and care or are they toys that deserve to be shot for fun?

Martina: Um, why are the gorillas loose?

Scientist: Well, we can't leave harmful animals in cages, stupid.

(Martina envisions all of the gorillas attacking the scientists)

Scientist (Screams): Ah, it's on my dick.

(A gorilla bites the scientist's penis off)

Scientist (To himself): Ah man, goodbye sex.

Scientist: Hey, come any closer and I'll cut you with, um, my nails.

(A gorilla rips the scientist's nails off)

Scientist: Fuck this.

(A gorilla dresses up in a bra and skirt)

Scientist: Well, hello sweetie. Come here often?

(The gorilla attacks the scientist)

Scientist: Ah man, not again.

(Martina wakes out of her vision)

Dawson: Martina, are you coming?

Martina: Not now Dawson, we have to follow the others.

(Martina walks out of the room)

(Dawson stares off confused)

Dawson: That's not what I meant.

(Dawson walks out of the room)

(In the background, the gorillas are attacking the scientists)

Mr. Gayley attacks Martina and Deborah in the basement and Dawson dresses as Spiderman to protect them and Mr. Gayley's death
(Martina finds Mr. Gayley in the kitchen)

Martina: Mr. Gayley?

(Mr. Gayley looks steadily at a wall)

Mr. Gayley: Yes, my dyke.

Martina: Why are you doing surgery on that doll?

Mr. Gayley: Oh honey, that's not a doll.

(Martina looks around and sees corpses all over the room)

Martina: Oh my God, are those skin suits on the table?

(Mr. Gayley turns around wearing a face mask)

Martina: Oh my God. You're a... girl?

Mr. Gayley: What? No. I'm wearing someone else's face. Duh!

(Deborah walks into the kitchen)

Deborah: Martina, what's going on?

Martina: It's Mr. Gayley. He's a transgender. Let's gay bash him.

(Martina and Deborah chase Mr. Gayley into the basement)

(Mr. Gayley attacks the duo)

Martina: Deborah, flying whora.

(Deborah flies into the air using her breasts as air bags and stomps on Mr. Gayley's head)

(Mr. Gayley pokes Deborah in her breasts with a pin and pops her breast bags)

(Martina throws a machete at Mr. Gayley in slow motion and he catches it)

Mr. Gayley: You should've done fast motion instead.

(Mr. Gayley walks towards Martina)

(Dawson suddenly appears)

Dawson: Hold on Martina.

(Dawson dresses as Spiderman and flies over to Mr. Gayley)

(Dawson flies in slow motion and Mr. Gayley throws a Dinosaur bone into his stomach, knocking him down onto the floor)

Martina: So, now what?

Dawson: Oh. I thought flying in a costume was all it took to be a hero.

(Dawson stands up and elbows Mr. Gayley in the back and smears his face against a pile of dog feces)

(Mr. Gayley breaks out of Dawson's grip and punches Dawson in the face and flies through the ceiling and into the sky, where he gets hit by a plane)

Dawson: No need to thank me, Deborah.

Deborah: Wow, you are so brave Dawson. If you weren't a virgin, I would totally blow you.

(Dawson takes off his costume)

(Dawson stares off disappointed)

Dawson: Oh. Well, that was a big nothing.

Martina and Dawson explore around the mansion and meet Mr. Gayley
(Martina is sleeping in her bed)

(Dawson is standing in the hallway and throws a rock at Martina's door)

Dawson (Quietly): Martina, wake up.

(Martina continues to sleep)

(Dawson throws a bolder at Martina's door)

(Martina rolls over in her bed)

Dawson: Come on, Martina.

(Dawson throws a horse through Martina's door)

(Dawson slowly walks into Martina's room)

(Martina screams)

(Dawson screams)

Martina: Who's there?!

Dawson: It's just me.

Martina: Oh. Don't sneak up on me like that.

Dawson: Wanna search the mansion?

Martina: What's the magic phrase?

Dawson: You're a unique rebel that any guy would fuck?

Martina: You forgot one thing.

Dawson: Or girl.

Martina: Now we can go.

(Martina and Dawson walk around the halls)

Dawson: There's nothing here.

(Dead bodies are piled up in the hallway and blood is all over the walls)

Martina: I know. You'd think there would be corpses and blood everywhere.

(Martina and Dawson find Mr. Gayley in the kitchen)

Mr. Gayley: Oh, hello youngsters.

(Mr. Gayley is cutting up a dead body with a knife on the table)

Dawson: Um, hello.

Mr. Gayley: Oh. How rude of me. I'm Mr. Gayley, the caretaker. And who are you sexy?

Martina: Um, I'm Martina.

Mr. Gayley: No, not you. Your friend.

Dawson: Um, I'm Dawson, the sexy friend.

Mr. Gayley: Nice muscle tone young man! When did you hit puberty, When you were 7?

Dawson: Aw, what a nice, lonely fruit cake.

Martina: We're sorry to bother you. We were just snooping around.

Mr. Gayley: No trouble, Roswell.

Martina: It's Martina.

Mr. Gayley: Whatever you say, Dino.

Dawson: Ya know what, we should go.

(Dawson and Martina walk out of the kitchen)

Mr. Gayley: Come back any time. I have fruit cake.

(Mr. Gayley holds up a fruitcake)

Dawson: He was nice.

(The walls creak)

Martina: Dawson, did you here that?

Dawson: Sorry, that was me.

Martina: No, not that. That creaking sound.

Dawson: Oh.

(Martina slowly opens a closet door and a ghost that resembles the Tiffany doll walks out)

Tiffany: Wanna play?

(Tiffany holds up a Parcheesi game board)

Tiffany: I have Parcheesi.

(Martina closes the closet door)

Dawson: Look at all these pictures.

Martina: They look like they're from the 16th century. Look, there's a picture of Snoop Dog, Chingy and Will-I-Am smoking marijuana.

(Creak sound)

Martina: Dawson, there's that sound again.

(Dawson presses his ear against the wall)

Dawson: I don't hear anything now.

Martina: I think it's coming from the wardrobe.

(Dawson opens the wardrobe doors and several pictures, vases and chairs fall out and crush him)

Dawson: Man that was a lot of items in a one-inch wardrobe.

(A chandelier falls on Dawson's head)

(Martina helps Dawson stand up)

Dawson: Martina, look. It's a secret door.

Martina: What's inside?

(Dawson opens the door)

Martina: Well?

(A group of hookers are having sex with each other inside the room)

(Dawson smiles)

Dawson: Oh my God! Praise be!

(Dawson records the hookers on his phone)

Martina: What?

(Dawson closes the door)

Dawson: Nothing. Let's... move on.

(Martina and Dawson leave the room)

(Dawson has semen on his pants)

Dawson and Martina get haunted in their bedroom by an unseen entity
(Dawson is brushing his teeth with a severed foot in the bathroom)

Dawson (To himself): Man, they have awesome toothbrushes here.

(Martina flosses her teeth with a toe nail in her bedroom)

Martina: Well, they have horrible floss.

(Martina lays down into her bed)

(Dawson finds hair on his toe brush and screams)

Dawson (To himself): Someone should've worn a hair net.

(An entity fondles Martina under the covers)

(Martina believes that Dawson is messing with her under the covers)

Martina: Dawson, stop it.

Dawson (From inside the bathroom): What?

(Martina looks under the covers)

Martina: Oh, shit.

(Martina gets levitated above her bed and thrown against the walls and ceiling)

(Dawson is listening to music on his eyephone in the bathroom)

Martina (Screams): Dawson, a little help?

(Martina gets smashed against the ceiling)

(Dawson continues to listen to his music)

Martina: I think I'm gonna be sick.

(Martina throws up on the demon and it drops her onto the bed)

Tuesday's death
(Tuesday is shaving her legs in her bedroom and her door opens)

Tuesday: Is someone there?

(The door closes)

Tuesday: Hello.

(Tuesday gets thrown against a mirror)

Tuesday (To herself): Wow. Was I just knocked up?

(Tuesday walks into the hallway)

Tuesday: Martina? Dawson?

(Tuesday's door closes)

Tuesday: Hey, open the door!

(The door swings opens and hits Tuesday in the face, knocking her down onto the floor)

Tuesday: Ow.

(Tuesday stands up and the entity drags her around the mansion)

Tuesday: Weeeee.

(Tuesday gets thrown against a wall and dragged down the staircase)

Tuesday: Woohoo! This is the best invisible ride ever!

(Tuesday gets thrown through a window and onto a truck)

Tuesday: Again please.

(The entity rapes Tuesday on the truck)

(Tuesday groans)

Tuesday: Oh, wow you're good. You're a ghost, so technically this is the first time I've been with a white guy.

(The entity throws Tuesday back into the house and against a television set)

Tuesday: Oh baby, let's take this to the porn channel.

(The entity drags Tuesday through the television screen)

Ross and Henry Kane fight
(Ross is wheeling around the mansion)

Ross: Is anyone there?

(Henry Kane knocks into Ross)

Ross: Hey, watch it buddy. I just waxed this chair.

(Henry pushes Ross out of his chair)

Ross: Okay, let's go.

Henry: Whenever you're ready, four legs.

(Ross wheels his chair into Henry and crawls across the floor)

(Henry knocks throws around pictures and chairs)

Ross: Oh shit.

(Henry picks Ross up and throws him through a window)

(Ross crawls back into the mansion and smashes a vase ovet Henry's head)

(Henry kicks the vase shards into Ross' eyes, blinding him)

Henry: Take that motherfucker.

(Ross kicks Henry in the face)

(Henry slides Ross down the staircase)

Ross: Aw man.

(Ross' wheel chair falls down the staircase and crashes onto his groin)

(Ross groans in pain)

Martina prepares to send Henry Kane's spirit back to hell and Henry and Mistress Kane's deaths
(Martina stands on a target inside of the mansion)

Ross: Remember, get him on the portal and run.

Martina: Okay.

(A window explodes and Henry Kane flies into the mansion)

(Henry roars)

Dawson: Professor, that looks just like you. Just without the grey hair, the lazy expression, the gingivitis and the dandruff.

Prof. Franklin: No. Henry Kane is my evil twin brother. He's been haunting me ever since he died because I'm living his dream of being a high school professor. Honestly, I brought you all here so he'd haunt other people for once instead of me.

Ross: Wow!

Dawson: Nice twist!

(Dawson, Ross and Prof. Franklin knuckle touch)

Henry (Screaming): Here I am.

(Henry flies towards Martina)

Martina (Screams): Dawson, if I die, I want you to know...

Dawson: Martina, I know what you're gonna say. You always wished that we'd get back together and start our lives with kids and happiness. I'd like nothing more.

Martina: Actually, I was gonna tell you that I've been banging Professor Franklin for the past semester.

Dawson: What?!

Martina: What? He's a good kisser!

Prof. Franklin: Thank you. You get an A for French.

(Professor Franklin winks at Martina)

(Henry flies through tables and vases before crashing into a ceiling fan and is thrown through a window)

Martina: Is he gone?

(Henry flies back into the room and Martina screams)

Henry (Screaming): Now, you will be mine.

Dawson (Screams): Hold on, Martina.

(Dawson ties Henry's hands behind his back with rope and pushes him into the time portal sending him back to hell)

Martina: Wow, that was so brave.

(Mistress Kane flies into the room)

Mistress Kane: Dawson, you didn't forget about me, did you? We can be together forever if you want. Just step on that portal and join me in the eternal fire.

(Dawson smiles)

Martina: Dawson, hello.

(Dawson is in a trance)

Dawson: Yeah yeah, go make me a sandwich or something.

(Martina punches Mistress Kane in the face and the duo fall into a mud bath and start wrestling with each other)

Ross: Cat fight!

(Martina and Mistress Kane begin to wrestle in slow motion with only their bras and panties on)

(Ross knocks on his groin and hears a ding)

(Ross smiles)

Ross: Wow, I can feel erections for the first time in my life!

(Dawson, Ross and Prof. Franklin knuckle touch)

Martina: Keep your damn hands away from my man.

(Mistress Kane elbows Martina in the stomach)

(Martina groans)

(Mistress Kane smashes a vase over Martina's head)

(Mistress Kane laughs)

(Martina stands up and kicks Mistress Kane in the groin)

(Mistress Kane laughs)

Mistress Kane: What are you kicking? I have nothing there.

(Martina karate kicks Mistress Kane into the fireplace)

Martina: What did you think Dawson?

Dawson: Um...

(Dawson sees Mistress Kane burning alive in the fireplace)

Dawson: Aw, what the hell. I was voting for you the whole time.

(Dawson and Martina kiss)