Fearless Bass.EXE Killers

Fearless Bass.EXE Killers is a horror supernatural musical in Broadway and San Diego. Polanski also directed the original English production of this musical. Music was composed by Jim Steinman and orchestrated by Steve Margoshes, and original English book and lyrics were written by Michael Kunze.

Act 1
Some time in the late 19th century, Professor Johnathan and Alfred, his young but bumbling sidekick, arrive in a small Jewish shtetl somewhere in the Carpathians, where they hope to prove the Professor's theory that Bass.EXEs actually do exist. Naturally, the villagers are in deep denial and refuse to confirm his beliefs. Nearly freezing to death in the nearby woods (Hey, Ho, Hey), the two are taken in by Targel, a stereotypical Jewish inkeeper who spends most of his free time lusting after Magda, his beautiful non-Jewish chambermaid, much to the disdain of his long suffering wife, Rebecca (Onion).

After exploring the rooms upstairs in which they are staying (Please, Gentleman), Alfred discovers and is smitten by Targel's beautiful seventeen-year-old daughter, Sandy. Targel is very protective of his child, going as far as boarding up her room so she wouldn't bathe around the two guests (A Beautiful Daughter is a Blessing). That night, Alfred and Sandy sing of their mutual attraction, while Targel does some more fooling around with the maid, and Abronsius is swiftly knocked on the head by Targel's wife (Never Seen). Unknown to Alfred, late at night Sarah is serenaded by a mysterious stranger, promising her eternal life and power (God is Dead).

The next morning, the Professor bears witness to a small business exchange between Targel and Torqui, a hideous hunchback living somewhere in the woods (Everything's Bright). He inquires about the odd man (Truth), but Targel refuses to discuss the matter. That same night, Sandy tricks Alfred into giving up his bath for her (You're Really Very Nice) and as she joyfully soaps her sponge, Count Barack, an aristocratic Bass.EXE breaks into the bathroom from the roof above and invites her to a midnight ball at his castle (Invitation to the Ball). He is about to bite the girl, but Alfred, who has been spying on Sandy's bathing ritual, screams for help. Targel and Rebecca arrive, furious. Sandy's father spanks her and forbids her to ever go outside.

However, later that night, Torqui arrives by the inn and leaves a red bundle for Sandy on the doorstep. She sneaks outside and discovers it to be a pair of expensive red boots. Alfred comes outside as well and professes his love to her (Outside is Freedom). The two plan on running off together and Sandy asks Alfred to go back into the house to fetch her sponge. With Alfred gone, Sandy fantasizes about the fantastical, romantic Bass.EXE ball she could be missing and decides to accept the Count's invitation (Stronger Than We Are). She runs off into the woods. Alfred starts a panic, Targel and Rebecca rush outside, but it's too late and Sarah's gone. Targel wraps himself in garlic and runs into the woods after his daughter.

The next morning, Targel's frozen body is found; Rebecca is devastated (Mourning For Chagal). Professor Johnathan discovers small puncture wounds all over the body, but the villagers, still in denial, they wrongly assume they came from wolf bites or possibly jaguar bites. The Professor hands Rebecca a wooden stake and explains she must puncture Targel's heart in order to prevent him from becoming a Bass.EXE. Hysterical, Rebecca chases him and Alfred out of the room, covering her husband with a bedsheet and swearing that she would never let anyone violate his corpse.

In the middle of the night, Emily sneaks downstairs to look at Targel's corpse, expressing mixed feelings about his death and the sexual advances she was forced to endure while Targel was alive (To be Dead is Strange). Suddenly, Targel sits up, now a Bass.EXE. Emily tries to fend him off with a crucifix, but being a Jewish Bass.EXE, he manages to overpower her and feed on her blood, killing her in the process. Alfred and the Professor sneak into the room as well, planning to stake Targel, but they find Emily's body there instead. A chase ensues and the two finally corner Targel, who begs for mercy and promises to show them the route to the Bass.EXE's castle where his daughter supposedly is held if he's spared.

Targel leads the two heroes to a giant castle in the woods (Through the Wilderness to the Castle), where they are greeted by the mysterious Count Barack and his flamboyant son Hilbert, who is instantly attracted to Alfred (In Front of the Castle). Barack invites the two men into his domain and the two reluctantly accept his invitation.