Clownpiece’s Ridiculous Lunatic Adventures/Ep. 1

[The episode starts with Clownpiece, Orange, Kogasa, Mima, Shinki and Kurumi watching as Ellen plays Bowser’s Inside Story on her Nintendo DS.]

Ellen: Let’s see...ah...what?! WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?! THOSE SOCKOPS TOOK AWAY MY MAIN MAN, MARIO, AND NOW I NEED TO PRACTICE LUIGI! I’M NOT WELL EXPERIENCED IN LUIGI! THIS GAME IS BULLCRAP! SCREW IT!

[Ellen runs off. She then returns, dressed up in Michael Jackson clothes.]

Ellen: 🎵Mario and Luigi, a game that relieves my stress...but then I lost my temper, and now I need a new DS!🎵 [pulls out a Nintendo 3DS]

Orange: Ellen, that’s my 3DS!

Ellen: 🎵SWAG SWAG SWAG SWAG! THE 3DS SUPPORTS DS GAMES!🎵

Orange: ELLEN, THAT WAS MY 3DS! NOW I LOST IT AND IT WILL HAVE RAGE GAMER GERMS ALL OVER IT! I WILL END THE EARTH YOU WALK ON, YOU BI-

[Before Orange can finish, the Fairy School’s bell does the Big Ben chimes, indicating that Fairy School has started for Clownpiece. Clownpiece dashes to school, knocking over Mima in the process. Cut to Mima in the hospital]

Mima: I HAVE A VENGEANCE FOR THAT LITTLE FAIRY! I REALLY DO!!

[At Clownpiece’s school, the class is watching Greek Mythology for Students: Perseus and Medusa.]

Clownpiece: Medusa’s gonna get owned- Wait, am I hearing what I think I’m hearing?

[Cut to outside Fairy School, where the rest of the Clownpiece Allegiance hears Clownpiece screaming.

Clownpiece: EEEEEEEK!!! SCREAM 03! PLEASE, ANYTHING BUT THIS! KYAAAAAAA!!

Ellen: Can you ''shut up?! ''I’m trying to beat these Scutlets with Luigi!

Orange: Whatever that little fairy is watching, it’s giving a HEAVY impact on her: both educationally and psychologically.

[We see the teacher’s boot kicking Clownpiece out of school with a suspension notice.]

Orange: Let me guess: you heard Scream 03 again.

Clownpiece: Yup. Time to attack Library Video Company, girls.

[Cut to outside the Library Video Company HQ. The Clownpiece Allegiance is near the door]

Kurumi: What’s my point in this mission?! My MAIN goal is to nuke the Scarlet Devil Mansion and conquer it for myself!

Orange: Kurumi, quit your bellyaching and drink some Pepto!

Ellen: [holding up a bottle of mouth wash] Clownpiece, need some of this fairy alcohol for a boost?

Clownpiece: Ellen, that’s mouth wash for your teeth!

Ellen: Eww, who brushes their teeth with this stuff?!

[The Clownpiece Allegiance enter the Library Video Company HQ. We then cut to the founder of Library Video Company, Dr. Schlessinger.]

Schlessinger: Hahahaha! The poor students will be traumatized by the satanic scream SFX! I’m a genius!

Clownpiece: Not so fast, Scumlessinger!

Schlessinger: Oh boy, what do these seven girls have against me that they’re infiltrating our HQ?

Clownpiece: Your horrifying female scream scared the living daylights out of me at school today!

Schlessinger: Well then, guess our plan worked. Have a nice day.

Clownpiece: Nope! We challenge you to a battle to the death!

Schlessinger: Well then, bring it!!

[Clownpiece shoots a barrage of lasers and stars at Schlessinger. He gets hit by it all]

Schlessinger: W-wait! I’m not experienced in lazer combat!

Clownpiece: Then surrender and die a horrible danmaku death!

[A montage with Unknown X as the background music plays. During this montage, all of the Clownpiece Allegiance, except for Orange, beat up Schlessinger with their danmaku patterns. When the montage is finished, the Allegiance notices that Schlessinger is still alive.]

Mima: How the HELL is this guy still breathing?!

Schlessinger: [weakly] I-I’m purified because...I’ve been listening to Perseus and Medusa on loop...and the satanic screams purify me.

Clownpiece: [looks at Orange] Orange, why didn’t you attack this monster sooner?

Orange: Well... I was saving the best for last. [pulls out a card that reads “Last Word”] DIE, SCUM, DIE!!!

[Orange bashes Schlessinger with her baton, until Schlessinger’s done for. Schlessinger screams as he melts]

Schlessinger: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

[The seven girls stare at the puddle that Schlessinger was reduced to]

Ellen: So... does anyone wanna hear a celebratory song?

Orange: No!

[We cut back to the Clownpiece Allegiance HQ.]

Ellen: At last, I finally reunited with Mario!

Clownpiece: And my suffering from education is over, because Schlessinger Media shut down after the attack.

[Junko and Hecatia run in]

Junko: Well then, if you don’t want an experience like that to happen again, you must move back in with us on the moon, andnd