Grouch (from The Electric Company) (YouTube Puppet version)

Cast

 * Rusty the Troll (from Theboxofme) as J. Arthur Crank
 * Toby the Dragon (from Sam the Ham) as Oscar the Grouch
 * Mailman Mark (from fart1ize) as The Salesman

Lyrics
Rusty the Troll: Look, I told you, "No!" N-O, No! Now don't bother me, I don't want no vacuum cleaners and I don't want no encyclopedias. Now get out of here! I've got company in the house!

Mailman Mark: Okay, okay. Don't get mad about it. Hey listen, tell me. Why are you so nasty anyways?

Rusty the Troll: None of your business! Get out!

Mailman Mark: But can I sell you something?

Rusty the Troll: When some nitwit ask me why, I act the way I do. I don't take the credit, or a claim, I just think about the guy who taught me all I know, 'cause you're the one who should get all the blame.

Toby the Dragon: Rusty, if you say anything nice, I'm going to get sick.

Rusty the Troll: Toby the Dragon.

Toby the Dragon: I'm warning you.

Rusty the Troll: Toby the Dragon. Toby the Dragon.

Toby the Dragon: That's me, all right.

Rusty the Troll: You're my favorite dude in a whole world of rude.

Toby the Dragon: I'm getting yucky.

Rusty the Troll: Toby, you wonderful dragon.

Toby the Dragon: Phooey.

Rusty the Troll: (laughing) Toby, you're always very rotten.

Toby the Dragon: Yeah, I have to be, now you're getting better.

Rusty the Troll: Toby, you make your neighbors wince.

Toby the Dragon: That's what a grouch has to do.

Rusty the Troll: And when it comes to luckiness.

Toby the Dragon: Yeah.

Rusty the Troll: Pally, you're a prince.

Toby the Dragon: Yeah, well, you ain't so bad yourself.

Rusty the Troll: Ow! Toby, you laugh when you see people.

Toby the Dragon: Yeah, people doing what?

Rusty the Troll: Slipping down on banana peels.

Toby the Dragon: Yeah, yeah, well, that's funny, you know.

Rusty the Troll: I'm proud to say I know first-hand just how that feeling feels.

Toby the Dragon: You know, you got an awful voice.

Rusty the Troll: Oh yeah, wise guy? Well, let me hear you try it if you're so great.

Toby the Dragon: Toby the Dragon.

Rusty the Troll: You called that singing?

Toby the Dragon: Toby the Dragon.

Rusty the Troll: I've got shoes that sing better than that.

Toby the Dragon: Toby the Dragon. That's me. Heh, heh, heh. I will always be first when the worst comes to worst. Toby the wonderful dragon.

Rusty the Troll: Oh, boy, boy, boy. That was really bad.

Toby the Dragon: Hey thanks. Just for that, I'm going to give you something, Rusty.

Rusty the Troll: You're going to give me something? What's that?

Toby the Dragon: Yeah. Rotten lessons.

Rusty the Troll: Rotten lessons?

Toby the Dragon: Yeah. I'm going to show you how to scowl.

Rusty the Troll: Hey, terrific. Yeah.

Toby the Dragon: Okay, watch this.

Rusty the Troll: Go ahead.

Toby the Dragon: (groan) Now try that.

Rusty the Troll: Oh, yeah, yeah. Wait, let me....(groan) Huh? How's that?

Toby the Dragon: Eh, just knock off the smile at the end there.

Rusty the Troll: Oh yeah, yeah. I did that pretty good, huh?

Toby the Dragon: Yeah, yeah. Well, you're coming along there.

Rusty the Troll: I had nails for breakfast, you know that?

Toby the Dragon: Yeah, yeah, well, it helps.

Rusty the Troll: You know, each time your father buys some nut.

Toby the Dragon: Yeah? Look who's talking...

Rusty the Troll: I love the way you drop right down and slam your trash can shut.

Toby the Dragon: I like to do that right now.

Rusty the Troll: Toby, you're gorgeous.

Toby the Dragon: (groan)

Rusty the Troll: When you're frowning. Compared to you, Grumpy the dwarf is a clown.

Toby the Dragon: Really start on the mellow, you know.

Rusty the Troll and Toby the Dragon : Toby the Dragon Toby the Dragon Toby the Dragon

Rusty the Troll: Now I love your advice.

Toby the Dragon: Rusty, don't ever act nice.

Rusty the Troll: Toby, you wonderful dragon. You're a crab through and through.

Toby the Dragon: I'm a crumb. I'm the flu.

Rusty the Troll: You're dingy and mean.

Toby the Dragon: Yeah! I'm the number thirteen.

Rusty the Troll: You're a stale piece of ice.

Toby the Dragon: The same to you twice.

Rusty the Troll: (laughing)

Rusty the Troll and Toby the Dragon : Toby the Wonderful Dragon.

Rusty the Troll: Eh, how do you like the song?

Toby the Dragon: It was rotten.

Rusty the Troll: Yeah, wasn't it?

Toby the Dragon: It was terrible.

Rusty the Troll: Yeah, I know.

Toby the Dragon: That's the worst song I've ever heard.

Rusty the Troll: Yeah, that was one that we're working at.

Toby the Dragon: Yeah. Can I have a coffee?

Rusty the Troll: Oh, yeah. We've got coffees all over the place. I've got...