VeggieFables: The Egg That Saved Easter (transcript)

Jonah (Archibald): "...and so the pig and the giant lizard brought the boy back to his family at the bowling alley and they all lived happily ever after." The end.

Mandy: That was a neat story, Jonah. Can you tell me another one?

Jonah: Oh, I'd love to, Mandy. But if you don't get some sleep, you're gonna be pooped tomorrow. And you know what tomorrow is?

Mandy: Easter?

Jonah: That's right! So let's just close our little eyes...

Mandy: Oh, please, Jonah, just 1 more story!

Jonah: Oh... Your mom's gonna be--

Mandy: Oh, she won't mind. Just 1 more story. An Easter story!

Jonah: Ehhh... Oh, all right. I suppose 1 more story won't hurt. Besides, what are prophets for, anyways?

Mandy: Oh, thank you, Jonah!

Jonah: Now let's see, an Easter story... Oh, did I ever tell you about the town that didn't get Easter?

Mandy: You mean they didn't have Easter?

Jonah: No, I mean they didn't get Easter. They had Christmas. They loved the packaging and the eggs and egg hunting and everything, but they didn't understand what Easter was really about! Now let's see, what was the name of that... Woodburn, IN! That's it! I used to deliver the mail there!

(Cuts to daytime, Jonah driving his truck down to Woodburn, IN.)

(Captions "Big Idea Productions presents" and the title "The Egg That Saved Easter" comes up.)

Jonah: Now the children of Woodburn loved to see me around Easter time 'cause they all thought they were gathering something.

(I Can't Believe It's Easter)

Laura: I can't believe it's Easter

I think I'm finally gathering something

Can't believe it's Easter

My favorite time of year!

Oliver: I can't believe it's Easter

Been dreaming of a sugar plum thing

Can't believe it's Easter

Oh boy, it's finally here!

Jonah: (as all the kids are hopping merrily around him) Whoa! Now hold it! I only got one package today, and it's for house number 4! Now let's see, which one's house number 4?

Kids: Hop hop, away we hop with rosy cheeks and hearts a-glowing

Hey hey, our favorite day, it makes us wanna cheer

Oliver: Alas, we love the grass

Berlioz: At least we know we won't be moving

Kids: Down hey we'd like to say that Easter time is here!

(The head of the snowman falls. Jonah dodges quickly, but the package is sent hurling towards the roof of a house, stuck.)

Jonah: Uh-oh.

Kids: We can't believe it's Easter

Been waiting for a million hours

Can't believe it's Easter

Oh what a springy day!

We can't believe it's Easter

Lenny: Took 14 baths and 18 showers

Kids: Can't believe it's Easter

And now it's time to play!

We can't believe it's Easter

We think we're finally gathering something

Can't believe it's Easter

Our favorite time of year!

We can't believe it's Easter

Been dreaming of a sugar plum thing

Can't believe it's Easter

Oh boy it's finally...

Jonah: Oy, my spinely!

Kids: Boy it's finally here!

Jonah: Where did the...? Oh, number 4. Well, that was easy.

(Jonah falls back down. Cuts to inside of the house, where the kids open up the package.)

Laura: What is it?

Junior: It's got a button!

Lenny: Push it! Push it!

(The button is pushed, forming a Easter table.)

Kids: Ooooh!

(Suddenly, a commercial is displayed on the TV.)

Grumpy: Happy Easter! Say kids, have you got the don't know what I want to hunt for Easter blues? Well if I know anything about eggs--and you know I do--I know just what you're looking for! You want an egg that's fun. You want an egg that's cute. But most of all, you want a egg with a fully functional buzzsaw built into its right arm. That's right - You want Buzzsaw Louis! Cool huh? But wait, there's more! Buzzsaw Louis also knows the true meaning of Easter. All you have to do is press his nose...

Louis: Easter's when you gather stuff! You need more eggs!

Grumpy: Just as soon as your parents phone in and order Buzzsaw Louis, one of our trained chicks will deliver him right to your door!

Announcer: Delivery code not valid to Hicksville, OH due to the collapse of the Hicksville bridge.

Grumpy: So take it from me, Grumpy Dwarf--I mean the Easter Bunny and my chick helper.

Happy: Look at me! I'm a chick!

Grumpy: You just won't be happy until your parents get you a Buzzsaw Louis, the only egg with a working buzzsaw and the true meaning of Easter.

Louis: Billy has more eggs than you!

(Outside, the children are running over to their homes, whining and bickering.)

Junior: Mom! Mom! I need more eggs!

(Cuts to Oliver's house)

Oliver: Billy has more eggs than me!

Dodger: Who's Billy?

Oliver\: I don't know. But he has more eggs than me!

(Cuts to Laura's house.)

Laura: I want a Buzzsaw Louis!!

Lenny: I want 10 Buzzsaw Louises!!

Both: 'Cause that's the true meaning of Easter!!! (wailing)

(Grumpy is viewing upon the children's fidgeting.)

Grumpy: Oh, it's working! It's working wonderfully!

Happy: What's working, Grumpy? You mean you wanted those kids to be all whiney?

Grumpy: Mm-hmm.

Happy: I don't get it, Grumpy.

Grumpy: You see, Happy, the only way their parents would get them to stop whining is to buy them lots of eggs. And as the owner of the Dwarf egg factory, I'll make out like a bandit!

Happy: Oh-ho, Grumpy, you are very wily!

Grumpy: Thanks. Soon, everyone will know that I, Grumpy the Dwarf is the most only wily dwarf of them all!

Happy: Oh, there's no doubt about that, Grumpy!

Grumpy: Well, fire up the assembly line, Happy! We got money to make, and that's what Easter is all about!

(Cuts back to Mandy and Jonah)

Mandy: (voice over) That's not what Easter is about!

Jonah: I know that, and you know that, but Grumpy Dwarf is a bit upset. And thanks to his TV commercial, so was everybody else! The kids were whining and the eggs were flying off the assembly line just like he planned.

Mandy: That must've been the worst Easter ever.

Jonah: Oh, yes, it would've been, if it wasn't for what happened next.