Very Silly Songs! (ReligeTables Style)/Transcript

(workout video!)

Larry the Cucumber: Hey, kids, I'm Larry the Cucumber. Welcome to the very first ReligeTables workout video! I hope I'm ready to sweat, I know I am. Now hop to the left and hop to the right and hop to the front to the back and one more time, now you don't have a trampoline at home you can just use a couple of slinkies in an old rug. And what you want to do is squeeze and jump and squeeze and jump and squeeze and jump and squeeze and oh my and squeeze and jump. Ouch! And squeeze and oof! Bob! Bob!

Bob the Tomato: I think Larry is a little confused! Actually, this is the very first ReligeTables silly sing-along tape. What we're gonna do is play some of their favorite ReligeTables songs and put the words on the bottom of the screen, like this. Okay, boys, are you ready?

Chip/Jean-Claude Pea: Yes sir-e, Bob!

Dale/Phillippe Pea: Oh-ho-ho, we were born ready!

Dale/Jean-Claude: Here we go! And a 1 and a 2.

Bob: (Singing) We are ReligeTables, we always go to Church, tells the Spirit we won't tell... (Speaking) See? It's just that easy. Just sing the words on the bottom of the screen. All right, guys. That's enough. Guys, hey, hey, chipmunks! Chipmunks!

Larry: Bob! Hey, Bob!

Dale/Phillippe: Oh, am I feeling woozy.

Larry: Bob!

Bob: Roll tape! Oh dear.

Chip/Jean-Claude: Drake, stop this crazy thing.

(The title "Silly Sing-Along" comes up.)

(The ReligeTables Theme Song begins.)

("I Can Be Your Friend" (from: Are You My Neighbor?))

Dr. Smirk (Jimmy Gourd): Hit it, boys! Have you ever seen a boy with funny clothes? A girl with braces on her teeth or freckles on her nose? Some kids call them odd balls, some kids call them weird

Pineapple/Jerry Gourd: Is it my imagination or does Auntie Em have a beard?

Smirk: God makes lots of people in all colors, shapes and sizes He loves them very much and what we need to realize is: That calling people names because they're different is wrong Instead we need to look on them in love and sing this song

Both: I can be your friend I can be your friend Any day in any weather We can be friends and play together

Bob: Ya were all pretty different some are skinny some are stout

Larry: But the inside is the part were supposed to care about

Walrus/Scooter: Aye! that's why we have feelings that are very much the same

Berlioz Aristocat/Junior Asparagus: So instead of saying weirdo I think friends a better name

All: I can be your friend (la la la) I can be your friend (la la la) If your hair is red or yellow We can have lunch

Berlioz/Junior: I'll share my Jell-O

All: I can be your friend (la la la) I can be your friend (la la la) It's okay if we are different, we can still play and I can be your friend!

(The songs that play "Dance of the Cucumber" (from: Bob, Berlioz & Larry), "The Water Buffalo Song" (from: Where's God When I'm S-Scared?) and "God is Bigger" (from: Where's God When I'm S-Scared?).)

(home improvement video!)

Larry: Hey, kids! I'm Larry the Cucumber. Welcome to the very first ReligeTables home improvement video! I hope you're ready to monkey wrench. I know I am. What we're gonna do today is change that old leaky fixture on the sink. We're gonna replace it with a new one, which will be quite attractive and last for years to come. Oh, and by the way, it's very important with any plumbing job to shut off the water supply. So I had my assistant, Dr. Smirk, turn off the water to the kitchen.

Smirk: Oh... You meant the kitchen sink. (Larry turns the wrench around the water level, sending himself flying upwards as the water runs) I thought this was bathrooms and decks.

Larry: Bob!

(The next songs that play are "I Love My Lips", "Oh, No! What We Gonna Do?" (from: Where's God When I'm S-Scared?), "Stand Up" (from: Bob, Berlioz & Larry), "Hairbrush Song" (from: Are You My Neighbor?) and "The Recurring Bunny Song" (from: Bob, Berlioz & Larry).)

(success video!)

Larry: Hey, kids! I'm Larry the Cucumber. Welcome to the very first ReligeTables success video! Are you ready to make millions of dollars in real estate with no money down? I know I am.

Bob: Larry!

Larry: Yeah, Bob?

Bob: Don't you see? This is a silly sing-along video!

Larry: Oh, a silly sing-along video. I love silly sing-along videos. That's where you put the words on the bottom of the screen so people can sing-along at home, right?

Bob: Yep.

Larry: Oh, the kids are gonna love that! What song should we do first?

Bob: (Concerned) Never mind.

Larry: What? Hey, Bob. Guess what? I bought a whole chocolate factory with no money down.

Bob: You did what?

("The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything")

Announcer: And now it's time for Silly Songs with Larry. The part of the show where Larry comes out and sings, a Silly Song.

Narrator: Joining Larry are Gru and Wreck-It Ralph, who together make up The infamous gang of scallywags, "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything!"

All three: We are The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything

We just stay home and lie around

And if you ask us to do anything

We'll just tell you ...

Larry: We don't do anything!

Gru/Pa Grape: Well, I've never been Greenland and I've never been to Denver, and I've never buried treasure in St. Louis or St. Paul, and I've never been To Moscow and I've never been to Tampa, and I've never been to Boston in The fall.

All: cause we're the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything! We just stay home And lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you ..

Wreck-It Ralph/Mr. Lunt: We don't do anything. And I never hoist the mainstay and I Never swab the poop deck, and I never veer to starboard cause I never Sail at all, and I've never walked the gang plank and I've never owned a Parrot, and I've never been to Boston in the fall.

All: cause we're the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything! We just stay at home And lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you .. We don't do anything!

Larry: Well, I've never plucked a rooster and I'm not too good at Ping-pong, and I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall, And I've never kissed a car and I've never gotten head lice, and I've never been to Boston in the fall!

Gru/Pa: Huh? What are you talking about? What's a rooster and mashed Potatoes have to do with being a pirate??

Ralph/Lunt: Hey, that's right! We're supposed to sing about pirate-y Things!

Larry: Oh ...

Gru/Pa: And who ever kissed a car? That's just nonsense! Why even Bring it up? Am I right? What do you think?

Ralph/Lunt: I think you look like Cap'n Crunch!

Gru/Pa: Huh? No I don't!

Ralph/Lunt: Do too.

Gru/Pa: Do not!

Ralph/Lunt: You're making me hungry.

Gru/Pa: That's it, you're walkin' the plank!

Ralph/Lunt: Says who?

Gru/Pa: Says the captain, that's who!

Ralph/Lunt: Oh, yeah? Aye aye, Cap'n Crunch! hehehehehehehe.

Gru/Pa: Grrrrrrrr!

Ralph/Lunt: Yikes!

Larry: And I've never licked a spark plug and I've never sniffed a Stink bug, and I've never painted daisies on a big red rubber ball, and I've never bathed in yogurt and I don't look good in leggings ...

Gru/Pa: You just don't get it!

All: And we've never been to Boston in the fall!

Gru/Pa: Past the chips! Who's got the remote?

Larry: Here it is!

Ralph/Lunt: Time for Geraldo.

Gru/Pa: It's definitely time for Wapner.

Ralph/Lunt: Oh, I don't like this show.

Larry: Hey look, I found a quarter!