Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday The 13th Part 2

Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday The 13th Part 2 is a 2013 Parody Comedy film and the sequel to the 2000 comedy film, Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday The 13th. The film stars, Kimberly Kardashian, Bobby Campo, Lizzy Caplan, Seann William Scott, Jennifer Carpenter, Alan Rickman, Patrick Dempsey, Tracy Morgan, Norman Reedus, Addy Miller, Denise Richards, Julia Roberts and Mary Elizabeth Winstead.

Plot
Snarky and bigoted science teacher, Professor Franklin sends his class to a mansion known as, Dark House for a week to film a horror movie. They are mentored by several conductors of the house and learn to work with special effects. Martina Martinez meets back up with her ex boyfriend, Dawson Deery and invites him along. While they start staying at the house, they realize the special effects are turning real and must survive from their deadly tactics. A side from that, a dark entity begins haunting Martina and Dawson while they're alone in a dark room. Martina and Dawson discover that a deadly vendetta against them is stalking them from their past and wants revenge on them and their professor.

Cast
Kimberly Kardashian as Deborah Massmurderer - Highschool student who is very slutty and bitchy in her own hot ways.

Bobby Campo as Dawson Deery

Lizzy Caplan as Martina Martinez

Seann William Scott as Ross Fiekelman - Professor Franklin's handicapped assistant.

Jennifer Carpenter as Tuesday Nite - Highschool student who falls in love with the Dark House ghost and becomes his sex partner in fulfilling his life.

Alan Rickman as Professor Franklin/Henry Kane - Professor Franklin is a Highschool professor who takes his students to Dark House to make a horror movie. Henry Kane is Professor Franklin's evil twin brother and the ghost of Dark House.

Patrick Dempsey as Father Darius - Exorcism who operates on the Devil.

Tracy Morgan as Father Hartman - Father Darius' assistant who deals in exorcisms but gets too squeemish.

Norman Reedus as Anson - Caretaker of Dark House. He's very vulgar but flattering and he has a massive gay crush on Dawson.

Addy Miller as Tiffany Ray - Ghost of Dark House who resembles the Tiffany Doll from Child's play 4: Bride Of Chucky.

Denise Richards as Mistress Kane - Henry Kane's mistress who haunts Dark House with him.

Julia Roberts as Ms. Compton - Ronald Raegan's mother.

Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Ronald Raegan - A young, innocent girl who is possessed by Satan.

Parodies
The Exorcist - Main parody

The Haunting - Main parody

Dark House - Main parody

House On Haunted Hill - The equipment around the house and the ghost's ability to turn his victims into stone

13 Ghosts - The time portal used to send the ghost back to hell and the mansion's machine-like structure

Child's Play 4: Bride Of Chucky - One of the ghosts resembles the Tiffany Doll from Child's Play 4: Bride Of Chucky

Paranormal Entity - A ghost constantly rapes Dawson and Martina in their sleep and drags them around the mansion

Hannibal Lecter - Anson wears a face mask and makes skin suits

Planet Of The Apes - Professor Franklin brings his group down to a lab that tests on Gorillas and they become possessed

The Fog - Martina and Dawson find a room full of fog with a monster coming out of it

Poltergeist - Tuesday is dragged into a television and the name of the Dark House ghost is Henry Kane.

Spiderman - Dawson dresses up as Spiderman and flies around the room to save Martina and Deborah from Anson.

Final Destination - Martina has a premonition where a cluster of Gorillas attack a group of scientists in the basement and right after, the vision becomes true

The prologue with a parody of The Exorcist
(Ronald is twisting her head around, possessed in her bed)

Ms. Compton: Ronald, is everything alrigt up there?

Ronald: Fuck me now mother pig!

Ms. Compton: Yeagh, she's fine.

(Father Darius and Father Hartman arrive at their home)

Ms. Compton: Father Darius?

Father Darius: That's what it says on my underwear.

Ms. Compton: Oh, I'm sorry Father but can your homeboy give us a minute?

Father Hartman: Um, I'm the other priest ma'm.

Ms. Compton: Oh, forgive me G. So are you sure you can help my daughter?

Father Darius: We're gonna try our best ma'm.

(Ronald starts screaming)

Father Darius: Wow, is she having an orgasm?

Ms. Compton: No. I think she's with the demon.

Father Darius: Well, there goes my shot with her.

(Ms. Compton glares at Father Darius)

Father Hartman: May we see the girl?

Ms. Compton: Yes, of course.

Father Hartman: May I use your bathroom first?

Ms. Compton: Yes.

Father Hartman: Thank you. I'll be taking this dirty magazine with me.

(Father Hartman takes the dirty magazine and goes to the bathroom)

(Father Darius knocks on Ronald's door)

Ronald: Mm, are we having a three way now?

Father Darius: Ms. Raegan, I'm here to help you.

Ronald: Don't open that door.

Father Darius: Ma'm, I must come in there.

(Father Darius knocks the door down)

(Ronald is taking a shit in the toilet)

Father Darius: Oh my God, HARTMAN!

(Father Hartman gets done masterbating in the bathroom)

Father Hartman: I'll be right there.

(Father Hartman comes upstairs)

Father Darius: Wow, for a 17 year old pure girl, she sure is horny.

Father Hartman: Just get in there.

(Ronald gets into her bed)

Father Hartman: Let's begin. In the name of The Father, The Son, The Holy Sin, the aliens who think they are God, Jerry Springer, Megan Fox and Jessica Biel. Ah men.

Ronald: Shut up and fuck me now negro.

Father Darius: Alow me.

Father Hartman: Darius, get away from her. Again, for the fathers and the sinners, we hereby...

(Ronald throws up on Father Darius and Father Hartman)

Ronald: Ah, that's better.

Father Darius: That's nothing. Check this out.

(Father Darius forces himself to throw up on Ronald)

(Father Hartman becomes sickened and throws up on Father Darius and Ronald)

Ms. Compton: I shouldn't leave my daughter with men anymore.

(The trio are cleaned off)

Father Hartman: Now, for the ritual.

(Father Hartman touches Ronald and gets electrocuted)

Father Darius: Wow, I wanna try that.

(Father Darius touches Ronald and gets electrocuted)

Ronald: Hm.

(Ronald electrocutes herself while trying to masterbate and blows up)

Professor Franklin takes his group to a Gorilla lab
Professor Franklin: And here we have a room ran by none other than Gorillas. Nature's cruel joke.

Deborah: Aw, they're so furry.

Ross (In his head): So, she likes animals.

Professor Franklin: Well, let's move to the other side of the room.

(Deborah stays behind to pet the Gorillas and Ross stays with her)

Ross: So, you like Gorillas.

Deborah: Oh God no. Just the animals.

(Ross stares off confused)

Deborah: Hey little guy.

(Deborah pets one of the Gorillas)

Ross: Yeagh, they are cute.

Deborah: Do you wanna hold one.

Ross: Um, sure.

(Ross tries to grab a Gorilla and one of them attacks him and he falls off of his wheelchair)

Deborah: Wow, you're so good with animals.

(Ross tries to fight off the Gorilla)

Deborah (Baby voice): Who's a cute furry little animal. You are.

(The Gorilla bites Ross' neck)

Deborah: Oh jeez.

(Deborah takes the Gorilla off of Rossand he gets back into his wheelchair)

Ross: Thanks. I totally had that.

Martina has a premonition about a cluster of Gorillas attacking a group of scientists
Professor Franklin: And here, wehave a group of scietists who are working on a theory. Are animals just like us or are they toys that deserve to be shot for fun?

Martina: Um, why are the Gorillas loose.

Scientist: Well, we can't leave harmful animals in cages, stupid.

(Martina has a vision where all of the Gorillas attack the scientists)

Scientist: Ah, it's on my balls.

(A Gorilla bites the scientist's testacles off)

Scientist: Ah man, goodybye sex.

Scientist: Hey, come any closer and I'll cut you with, um, my nails.

(A Gorilla rips the scientist's nails off)

Scientist: Fuck this.

(A Gorilla dresses up in a bra to fool a scientist)

Scientist: Well, hello sweetie. Come here often.

(The Gorilla attacks the scientist)

Scientist: Ah man, not again.

(Martina wakes out of her vision)

Dawson: Martina, are you coming?

Martina: Not now Dawson, we have to follow the others.

(Dawson stares off confused)

Dawson: That's not what I meant.

(In the background, the Gorillas attack the scientists)

Anson attacks Martina and Deborah and Dawson becomes Spiderman to protect them
(Martina finds Anson possessed in the kitchen)

Martina: Anson?

Anson: Yes, my dyke.

Martina: Why are you doing sergery on that doll?

Anson: Oh, it's um, um, just go away.

Martina: Oh my God, is that skin suits on the table?

(Anson turns around wearing a face mask)

Martina: Oh my God. You're a girl)

Anson: What, no I'm wearing someone elses face. Duh.

Deborah: Martina, what's going on?

Martina: It's Anson. He's a transgender. Let's gay bash him.

(Martina and Deborah chase Anson into the cellar)

(Anson attacks the duo)

Martina: Deborah, flying whora.

(Deborah flies into the air using her breasts as air bags and stomps on Anson's head)

(Anson then pokes Deborah in her breast with a pin and pops her breast bags)

(Martina throws a machete at Anson in slow motion and he catches it)

Anson: Should've done fast motion instead.

(Anson walks towards Martina)

Dawson: Hold on Martina.

(Dawson dresses as Spiderman and flies over to help Martina and Deborah)

Martina: So, now what?

Dawson: Oh. I guess flying was all it took to be a hero.

(Dawson elbows Anson in the back and slams his face against a pile of dog feces)

(Anson punches Dawson and flies through the mansion, but gets hit by a plane)

Dawson; No need to thank me, Deborah.

Deborah: Wow, you are so brave Dawson. If you weren't a virgin I would totally blow you, so sorry.

(Dawson takes off his costume)

Dawson: Well, that was a big nothing.

Martina and Dawson search around the mansion
(While Martina is sleeping, Dawson throws a stone at her door, but she doesn't wake up)

(Dawson then throws a rock at her door, but she just rolls over)

(Dawson then throws a bolder at her door)

Dawson: Come on Martina.

(Dawson throws a horse through her door, but she continues to sleep)

(Dawson slowly walks in Martina's room and she starts screaming)

Martina: Ahhhhh, who's there?

Dawson: It's just me.

Martina: Oh. Don't sneak up on me like that.

Dawson: Wanna search the mansion?

Martina: What's the magic word?

Dawson: You're a unique rebel that any guy would fuck.

Martina: You forgot one thing.

Dawson: So would a girl.

Martina: Now we can go.

(Martina and Dawson search around)

Dawson: There's nothing here.

(Dead bodies are piled up and blood is all over the walls)

Martina: I know. You'd think there would be corpses and blood everywhere.

(Martina and Dawson find Anson in the kitchen)

Anson: Oh hello youngsters.

(Anson is cutting up a body)

Dawson: Um, hello.

Anson: Oh. how rude of me. I'm Anson, the caretaker. And who are you sexy?

Martina: Um, Martina.

Anson: No, not you. Your friend.

Dawson: Um, I'm Dawson, the sexy friend.

Anson: Nice muscle tone. When did you hit puberty. When you were 7.

Dawson: Aw, what a nice, lonely fruit cake.

Martina: We're sorry to bother you. We were just snooping around.

Anson: No trouble, Roswell.

Martina: It's Martina.

Anson: Whatever you say, Dino.

Dawson: Ya know what, we should go.

Anson: Come back any time. I have fruit cake. Literally.

Dawson: He was nice.

(The walls creek)

Martina: Dawson, did you here that?

Dawson: Yeagh, sorry about that. We had chili for dinner.

Martina: No, not that. That creeking sound.

Dawson: Oh.

(Martina slowly opens a door and a ghost that resembles the Tiffany doll comes out)

Tiffany: Wanna play?

(Tiffany grabs a Parcheesi game board)

Tiffany: I have Parcheesi.

(Martina closes the door)

Dawson: Martina, look. It's a secret door.

Martina: What's inside?

(Dawson opens the door)

Martina: Well.

(A group of hookers are having sex with eachother inside the room)

Dawson: Oh my God.

Martina: What?

(Dawson closes the door)

Dawson: Nothing. Let's move on.

Dawson and Martina get haunted in bed by an unseen entity
(Dawson is brushing his teeth with a severed foot)

Dawson: Man, they have awesome toothbrushes here.

(Martina flosses her teeth and vagina with a toe nail)

Martina: Well, they have horrible floss.

(Martina goes to bed)

(Dawson finds hair on his toe brush and screams)

Dawson: Someone should've worn a hair net.

(Something fondles Martina under the covers)

Martina: Dawson, stop it.

Dawson: What?

(Martina looks under the covers)

Martina: Oh, shit.

(Martina gets levitated above her bed and gets thrown against the walls and ceiling)

(Dawson is in the bathroom listening to music on his eyephone)

Martina: Dawson, a little help.

(Dawson continues to listen to his music)

Martina: I think I'm gonna be sick.

(Martina throws up on the demon and he drops her on the bed)

Tuesday is dragged around by the Dark House ghost
(Tuesday is shaving her legs and her door opens)

Tuesday: Is someone there?

(The door closes)

Tuesday: Hello.

(Tuesday is thrown against a mirror)

Tuesday: Wow. Was I just knocked up?

(Tuesday goes into the hallway)

Tuesday: Martina? Dawson?

(Tuesday's door closes)

Tuesday: Hey, open the door.

(The door opens and hits Tuesday in the face)

Tuesday: Ow.

(Tuesday gets up and is dragged around the mansion)

Tuesday: Weeeee.

(Tuesday is slammed against a wall and dragged down the stairs)

Tuesday: Ahh, this is the best invisible ride ever.

(Tuesday is thrown through a window and onto a truck)

Tuesday: Again please.

(The ghost rapes Tuesday)

Tuesday: Oh, wow you're good. You're a ghost so technically this is the first time I've been with a white guy.

(The ghost drags Tuesday into the house and against a television)

Tuesday: Oh baby, let's take this to the porn channel.

(The ghost drags Tuesday into the television)

Ross and the ghost fight
(Ross is rolling around the mansion)

Ross: Is anyone there?

(The ghost knocks into him)

Ross: Hey, watch it buddy. I just waxed this chair.

(The ghost knocks Ross out of his chair)

Ross: Okay, let's go.

(Ross wheels his chair into the ghost and crawls away)

(The ghost knocks down pictures and chairs)

Ross: Oh shit.

(The ghost picks Ross up and throws him through a window)

(Ross crawls back in and throws a vase at the ghost)

(The ghost kicks the shards at Ross and they blind him)

(The ghost then pushes Ross downstairs)

Martina sends the ghost back to hell and she and Mistress Kane fight
Professor Franklin: Remember, get him on the portal and run.

Martina: Okay.

(A window explodes and the ghost comes down)

(The ghost is revealed to be Professor Franklin's evil twin brother, Henry Kane)

Dawson: Professor, that looks like you.

Prof. Franklin: No. It's Kane, my evil twin brother.

Dawson: Wow. Nice twist.

(Dawson and Prof. Franklin knuckle touch)

Kane: Here I am.

(Kane flies towards Martina)

Martina: Dawson, if I die I want ou to know that I was secretly banging Prof. Franklin for the past 30 minutes.

Dawson: What?

Martina: What, he's a good kisser.

Prof. Franklin: Thank you. You get an A for French.

(Kane flies through tables and vases before crashing into a fan, and gets thrown through a window)

Martina: Is he gone?

(Kane flies back in and Martina screams)

Kane: Now, you will be mine.

Dawson: Hold on, Martina.

(Dawson ties Kane's hands to his back and pushes him into the portal, sending him back to hell)

Martina: Wow, that was so brave.

(Kane's mistress comes out and seduces Dawson)

Martina: Dawson, hello.

Dawson: Yeagh yeagh, go make me a sandwhich or something.

(Martina punches Kane's mistress and the duo fall into a mud puddle on the ground and start wrestling)

Ross: Cat fight.

(Martina and Mistress Kane begin to wrestle in slow motion without their clothes on)

(Ross knocks on his groin and hears a ding)

Ross: Wow, I can feel irrections for the first time in my life.

(Dawson, Ross and Prof. Franklin knuckle touch)

Martina: Keep your damn hands away from my man.

(Martina karate kicks Mistress Kane into a fireplace)

Martina: What did you think Dawson.

Dawson: Um...

(Dawson sees that Mistress Kane is dead)

Dawson: What the hell. I was watching you the whole time.

(Dawson and Martina kiss)