Mickey, Donald and Goofy in The Three Musketeers, A Broadway Adventure

Cast
Speaking Voices:

Robby Robinson - Mickey Mouse

Makey Murray - Donald Duck

Richard Colletta - Goofy

- Pluto (Dog Voice and No Voice)

Andrea Libman - Minnie Mouse

Tera Strong - Daisy Duck

Robert Englend - Pete

Billy West - Beagle Boy #1

Tom Kenny - Beagle Boy #2

Pat Cashman - The Beagle Boy #3

Scene 3
(Background gose down to the Musketeer Jail as the music continues)

Pete: Now listin, you yardsticks. I am sick and tired of your screw ups. You guys are hopeless. I'll leave ya for 5 minutes, and I'm come back to the disater.

(Music Ends)

Pete: What are your names?

Goofy: Lightning McKing. Ka-Chow!

Donald: Walker Texas Ranger. (Smacks Donald's butt)

Mickey: Micheal Jorden at the SuperBowl. GOAL!

(Audience Laughing, Clapping)

Goofy: Oh, sorry. We're kiddin'.

Donald: Donald Duck.

Goofy: Name's Goofy.

Mickey: And I'm Mickey. Mickey Mouse. We're practice our teamwork so we can become great Musketeers.

Pete: Musketeers? HA! That's priceless.

Mickey: We can work really hard and proove ourselves, Cap'n Pete. Would you let us be Musketeers?

Pete: (Doing the Captain Jack Sparrow Voice) Hold on there, mates. Let's get somthin' in the sport's right direction, savvy?

(Audience Laughing)

Pete: (Normal Voice) Here we go! Genie Rule-Book! Rule #1! There's no wishing for more wishes.

Goofy: That only works on American Idol.

(Radio plays)

Mickey: Gosh, I know what my song is. It's called Pants On The Ground. (Giggles)

Donald: (To Pete) I just can't do it, Captain. I don't have a power!

(Audience Laughing)

(Radio stops)

Pete: Rule #2, just like Dr. Phil, I cannot make someone fall in love with you and start calling you 'honey'. No, no, no. If we're doin' the workout, it would be a Honey-boo-boo.

Mickey: He says, Juggle shredded cheese while I'm spreadin' out spaghetti. (Chuckles)

Donald: He also says, Try to put an egg back inside of a chicken.

Goofy: Just like The Phantom Of The Opera, the phantom would say, Remember, I am not Oprah. You get a car, you get a car, you wanted a car!

(Audience Laughing, Clapping)

Pete: Ya know what's rule #3?

Donald, Goofy, Mickey: What?

Pete: I cannot make anyone rise to bring people back from the dead.

Mickey: If you had and iPhone, there's an app for that.

Goofy: I'm not takin' Micheal Jackson Thriller scary. I'm talkin' The Da-Vinci Code scary. Proubly the scariest Macy Grace from Dancing with the Stars.

Donald: Have you guys ever seen The Walking Dead?

- Mickey: Nope.

- Goofy: Not at all.

Goofy: For a livin', I didn't watch that show on AMC.

- Donald: Yeah.

- Mickey: Me ether.

(Audience Laughing)

Mickey: We're pretendin' to be Musketeers, right?

Pete: Well, there're three thing wrong with that. (To Donald) One, you're a coward. (To Goofy) Two, you're a doofus. (To Mickey) And three, you are just too small. Say, you are smaller then my las

t master. In fact, I'm getting bigger.

Mickey: Wait a minute. Time-out. Let me get this straight. I'm your master AND you given me 3 wishes?

Pete: Yep. But I didn't know who any of you wahoos as Musketeers for the last time in France! (Using a cigarette) Where would you like first? The boat or the cigarette?

(Audience Laughing as Pete blows smoke on his cigarette)

Mickey: (Sneezes, Sniffs)

Goofy: Bless you, Mickey.

Mickey: Thanks, Goof. (Sniffs)

Donald: I like the boat to ride on.

Pete: I like that boat, too.

(Audience Cheering)

Pete: (Take Mickey's Hat) So, you'll keep this, will ya?

Mickey: Uh-huh.

Pete: (Makes a ball and gives it to Mickey) Here, kid. Have a ball.

Mickey: Thank you.

Pete: Now, pay attention. When you're in the forest, please don't be careless. Remember, only you can prevent wild fires. (Laughing, Exit stage right, door closes as Mickey, Donald and Goofy exit stage left)

Scene 8
Goofy/Choir: (Singing) Make way! (Goofy kicks Mickey's butt)

Mickey/Donald/Goofy/Choir: (Singing) For Prince Ali!

(Mickey, Donald and Goofy Saluting)

Pete: And the crowd went WILD!

(Audience Cheering, Clapping)

Pete: Let me hear the voice! Make some noise from Dexter's Laboratory!

(Audience Laughing, Cheering)

Pete: Oh, c'mon, let me hear you from Hi-Hi Puffy Ami and Yumi!

(Audience Laughing, Cheering)

Pete: Let me hear the voice who sound like The Powerpuffs Girls!

(Audience Laughing, Cheering)

Pete: So much for a Rock-and-Roll voice. Okay, Goofy, your turn.

Mickey: Goof, say it.

Goofy: (Clearing Throat) Your Royle Highness, allow me to introduced myself. I am Prince Ali Ababwa!

(Goofy posing a salute to Minnie)

(Audience Cheering)

Pete: And... Cut! Print it! Keep going.

Mickey and Donald: And?

Goofy: (To Minnie) I will be delighted to ask your hand in marriage.

Mickey: (Gasps) Ay, dios mios! (To Donald) It's just like I'm the Bachelor!

(Audience Laughing)

Troubador: Well, princess, don't keep the home viewers waiting in suspense.

Pete: (To Minnie) Hang on just one second, Your Highness. (To the Audience, imitates Terry Crews) Old Spice will blow your mind that turned you into a man who smell like POWER!

(Audience Laughing, Clapping)

Mickey: (Newsreporter Voice) So, Your Majasty, what do you think of his fabulousness?

(Cupping their hands around their ears to hear Minnie)

Minnie: Another fraud.

All: (Gasping)

Troubadour: Oh, snap! Girl, no you dint. (Starts to leave)

Goofy: See, Mickey? If you like it, you should put a ring on it.

(Audience Laughing)

Mickey: (To Pete) It's okay, Pete. Party's not over.

Goofy: (To Pete) Look, I know I just met you and this is kinda crazy. So, hear my number, Call Me Maybe!

(Audience Laughing as The Beagle Boys start to leave)

Mickey: Hey, guys, don't go! C'mon, this wasn't a plan! I thought you were gonna watch the World Wrestling Entertainment! Waiting onto 99%!

(Audience Laughing)

Minnie: Drop her.

(The Beagle Boys dropped Daisy to the ground)

Baggy: (To the Audience) Listen to a little yegabond! The way she's ordering us surround. You will think she were the princess of Agrabah herself!

(Crowd Laughing)

Minnie: I AM the princess of Agrabah!

Daisy: I don't think so. (Grabs the umbrella and start to leave)

Donald: Hey, wait a minute. Where are ya goin'? We're gonna play Guitar Hero!

Goofy: Yeah, get back here with my umbrella! Ella! Ella!

(Audience Laughing)

Donald: Now, they're running faster!

Mickey: We're sorry, Your Grace. We thought she was a villain.

Minnie: I'm sorry, too, Prince Ali. My daughter and I will be played twister. Her left hand is blue, and my left hand is red. (Starts to leave)

Crowd: Aww!

Scene 15
Goofy: Hey, you need me! This is why Mushu had a cricket! This is why Dora the Explorer had a monkey! This is why Nibbles have Tom and Jerry!

Mickey: Hey, Goof. What do you call these from?

Goofy: Netflix.

Scene 16
Mickey: POOF! You are the Sultan! We all so impressed. Whoop-de-doo.

(Pete turns his head right angrily)

Mickey: I mean, look at you. Just like in the Xbox 360, you with the controller! Hang on a sec.

Boy: Mickey?

Mickey: Uh-huh?

Boy: Do the Obama Voice.

Mickey: Oh, okay. (Imitates Obama) After further a few, from The Fairy Oddparnts, you are the Sultan.

(Audience Laughing)

Mickey: (To Pete, Normal Voice) Hey, ya know what? If my last name was Thinniger Chips, (Pointing his two big round ears) I'll be Sultan-Thinniger Chips! (Laughing)

(Audience Clapping)

Mickey: High-four! Oh, yeah. C'mon, high-four, Vampire Elton John.

(Audience Laughing)

Mickey Stupid snake in a cobra staff.

(Pete turns his head right to Mickey, angrily)

Mickey: Oh, I like your peg-leg. Sorry. (Clearing Throat) Ya look really good as the sultan. You're pretty good up close. (To the audience) You look much better from Jafar. Why? 'Cues I was In-Sultan him! (Laughing)

(Audience Laughing, Clapping)

Mickey: Look behind you. Black Swan! (Imitates Black Swan) Look at me, I'm the evil Black Swan. If my last name was Peppershaker, I'll be Sultan-Peppershaker! (Laughing) (To Pete, Normal Voice) So, you're the villain kinda-person. Maybe I'm not Disney's scariest villain anymore. If he goes to The Haunted Mantion, he came out with the paycheck. (Imitates Arnold Schwarzenegger) It's fatastic that you're the Sultan and I'm the goal bender in Callifornia. Like the Fatastic Four, fantastic bon fires, fantastic texas, EVERYTHING'S FANTASTIC! NYAH! (To Pete) NYAH! (To Pete's peg-leg) NYAH! (Normal Voice) You are the ugliest master I've ever had. U-G-L-Y! You got no aliby you ugly. Nah-uh. You're ugly! WHOO! Looks like you've fell out an ugly tree and hit EVERY BRENCH ALL THE WAY DOWN!

- (Audience Laughing)

- Mickey: Ouch! (Chuckles)

(Audience Clapping)

Mickey: Hey, Pete, look, ugly stick. WHAP!

(Audience Laughing)

Mickey: Let's see that again. WHACK! These are great. Ya know what these need? Tony Hawk and his skateboard's like, ''WHA-HOO! YIPPIE! YEE-HAH!''

(Audience Laughing)

Mickey: Hey, guess who I am. (Standing a pose) I'm Black Lanturn.

(Audience Laughing)

Mickey: Hey, look, Look, look, look. (Doing shadow puppets like the dog like Pluto, barking and growling, and a evil snake) BLEAH! BLEAH!

(Audience Laughing)

Mickey: Hey, check it out. Pete is Pinocchio. (Doing shadow puppets like Pinocchio's nose growing, and the horse and makes the horse noise) Mickey: Ooh, ooh. Let's see if you can guess who he is now. (Doing the shadow puppet of the Duck like Donald, makes the Duck noise)

(Audience Laughing, Clapping)

Mickey: (Gets up) Are we through yet?

- Pete: (Loudly) NO!

- Mickey: AHH!

Pete: We're just getting started! But, being a sultan is no more. (Grabs Mickey's neck) Face it, Mickey. It's All for One, and you are on your own! The only difference is not enough and the time has come for a summon to act!

(Throws Mickey to the wall)

Pete: Sit down.

(Mickey sits down)

Pete: Enjoy and stay here in Mont St. Michel. When the time comes, it's faster then horses. (Turns the lights off) (Audience Gasping) So long, street rat. (Audience Laughing) Remember when you and your lackeys singing as you climb a ladder and you fall? A little subject you called, I Just Can't Wat To Be King! (Evil Laughing)

(Music Plays)

Pete: (To Audience, singing) ''Prince Ali? Yes, it is he.'' But not as you know him.

Mickey: (To Pete, singing) Read my lips and come the grips with reality!

Pete: (To the Beagle Boys, singing) (To the audience, singing) Say, 'Hello!' to you precious Prince Ali.

Crowd: (To Mickey, chanting) HELLO!

Beagle Boys: (All Laughing)

Mickey: (To Pete, singing) So, Ali turns out to be malay Aladdin?

(Audience Laughing)

Pete: (To Mickey, singing) ''Just a con, need I go on? Take it from me.''

Mickey: WOOPEE!

Pete: (To Mickey, singing) So long, Ex-prince Ali!

Pete, The Beagle Boys: (All laughing)

(Music Ends)

(Door closes)

(Audience Clapping)

(Pete and The Beagle Boys exit stage right)

Scene 17
(Background goes down to Mont St. Michel)

Mickey: Oh, great. Just GREAT! How am I supposed to get out of here? This isn't FAIR! (Calling out) Hey! Somebody! Somebody get me outta here! SOMEBODY!

(Water starts to flood in the dungeon)

Mickey: What's that thing? What is that thing? Wait, wait, wait! Stop, stop! No, no! C'mon! (Calling out) Help, help, help! HELP!

Scene 19
Donald: Mickey?

Goofy: Mickey! Come back to us, pal!

Mickey: (Coughing)

Goofy: I think he's comin' out of it.

Mickey: (Coughing, Loudly) (Groans) Donald? Goofy? Pete told me you were goners!

Goofy: We're not goners. We ain't goin' nowhere without ya, Mick.

Donald: Hey, buddy. Ya feelin' okay?

Mickey: Oh, yes. I'm fine.

(Mickey hugging Donald)

Audience: Aww!

Mickey: Ya came back, didn't ya?

Donald: Of corse I did.

Goofy: We won't let ya down, Mick. We're your friends.

Donald: Yeah. C'mon, men. We gotta save the princess. All for one and One for All. Remember?

Mickey: Thanks, fellas. But, (Sighs) we're not even real Musketeers.

(Audience Gasping)

Goofy: Wrong! We ARE real Musketeers! (Doing the Jack Sparrow Voice) Listen, mate. Don't let anyone else tellin' ya you're not. Savvy?

Mickey: Yes, sir.

Goofy: Look, Donald might not be a big chicken, and you're just a little guy. But, I ain't no genius and I know one thing. When the bunch of us stick together, we can accomplished anything. And not Pete or nobody else can stop us.

Donald: I doesn't matter what you've wear.

Goofy: Only what kind of heart it is that beats inside of ya!

Mickey: Ya know what? You're right, pals. Pete said he's headin' for the Opera House, and THAT is where we find her Majesty!

(He's a Pirate Musical Score from Pirates of The Caribbean Plays)

Mickey: Musketeers, we've got a princess to rescue.

Goofy: Let's go, Donald.

Donald: Don't worry, Goofy. I'm right behind ya.

Mickey: C'mon, you guys!

(Mickey and Donald exits stage right and Goofy exits stage left)

Scene 20
(Background goes up to The Opera House)

Pete: This is cool. I like the skirt. (Puts Daisy's blue skirt up to show him her short white bloomers) You look like Lady Gaga.

(Audience Laughing as Daisy lets her blue skirt go)

Pete: She had a dress and the hat!

(Audience Laughing)

Bebop: Pete Ratigan called. He wants his outfit back.

(Audience Clapping)

Minnie: Hey, 1980's called. They want pants! (Giggles)

(Audience Laughing)

Minnie: I'll keep hidin' in this bag. (Disappears in the bag)

Pete: Boys, you know what to do, right?

Beagle Boys: Right, boss.

(Pete throws the bag and the Beagle Boys put Minnie and Daisy in the treasure chest)

Baggy: Oi, those nitwits!

Bankjob: The boss is gonna be happy to see 'em.

Bebop: Killer robots! Killer robots on the loose!

(Audience Laughing)

(The Beagle Boys exit stage right)

Scene 24
Pete: (To the audience) See this? This is my BOOM-STICK!

- (Sword Clangs)

- (Crowd Gasping)

Scene 26
Pete: Two down, and one to go. This is it, squeaky. Mono y mouse-o.

Major General and the Three Pigies: (Gasps)

Pete: Clear out of here now! (The Three Pigies exit stage right) You! Get back to work. (Major General exit stage left)