Who Needs Luck/Script

[Tommy is enjoying a bowl of Toasty Cinnamon cereal for breakfast and reading a comic book when his friends come in.]

Kimi: "Hey, you guys! Don't forget my basketball tournament's this afternoon." [Tommy ducks under the table.] "You're all going to be there to support me, right?"

Lil: "And after that, you're all coming to my charity fashion show, right?" [They all agree]

Dil: "And after that, don't forget my lazer-tag competition."

Tommy: "Shh!"

''[He notices the milk on the top of the fridge and puts it on Chuckie's skateboard; the board collides with the fridge and the bottle drops right into his hands letting him drink the contents from it. Tommy escapes to the living room without his friends seeing him and sighs with relief.]''

Tommy: [clears throat; to the viewers] "I know what you're thinking. "Tommy, why are you trying to get out of your friends' activities?" Well, you don't know my life."

[Cut to a calendar of Tommy's calendar getting filled up with his friends' faces indicating an event for them specifically.]

Tommy: "With seven friends, my calendar's booked everyday with stuff. I'm supposed to go to rodeos, pageants, open mic nights...once in a while, a guy just needs some time to himself."

[Suddenly, Angelica pops up in front of him.]

Angelica: "Hey, Tommy! You're coming to my baseball game today, right?"

Tommy: "Dang it. Should've done a head count." [to Angelica] "Actually, Angelica, I've got some important business to attend to. Like War Heads VS the Card Mark." [holds out comic]

Angelica: "Lame. My team has won our last six games, and you're the only member of this group who hasn't come out to support me."

Tommy: "That's because I was supporting six other sisters at their things. Sorry, Angelica, I just can't do it today."

Angelica: [holding her bat threateningly] "Sure you won't reconsider?"

''[Tommy acquiesces and is at the game with his friends in the bleachers. The mascot comes out onto the field and does a somersault.]''

Mascot: "LET'S DO THIS!"

Baseball Announcer: "Well, it's a beautiful day at the park. Isn't it, Pup?"

Pup: [unenthusiastic] "Oh, sure it is."

Baseball Announcer: "It's the bottom of the ninth with the Hedgehogs up 3-nothing. Could this be another shutout for star pitcher Angelica Pickles?"

''[The crowd cheers for Angelica. Angelica waves to the people and her friends and they all root for her. She then starts doing some things to prepare for her pitch. She lifts her leg, turns her cap, tosses some dirt over her shoulder, and pats her right cheek.]'' Baseball Announcer: "Pickles is performing her signature good luck rituals." Angelica: [doing a Cossack dance] "Hutta-hut! Hutta-hut! Hutta-hut!" Baseball Announcer: "Hey, Pup, you believe there's anything to these kinds of superstitions?"

Pup: [not caring] "I don't know." Baseball Announcer: "Well, here's the windup and the pitch." [Angelica winds up and pitches, but the opposing batter slams it out of the park.] Baseball Announcer: "Ooh! Looks like the baseball gods did not love that Cossack dance." [Soon enough, the Tides hit the ball each time, thus beating the Hedgehogs.] Baseball Announcer: "Hated that Cossack dance." [The crowd boos and the mascot looks on with grief.] Susie: "DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, ANGELICA!"

[After the game, Angelica is looking down.] Tommy: "Hey, Angelica. I'm really sorry you lost." [Angelica yelps and hides behind a dumpster.] Tommy: "Hey." Angelica: [holding a rotten banana peel] "Stay back! You're bad luck!" [tosses the peel at Tommy.] Tommy: "What are you talking about?" Angelica: "My team has been dominating all season, then the one time you show up, we lose!" Tommy: "That's ridiculous. I'm not bad luck." Angelica: "Yeah-huh, you are! Which is why I'm banning you from all future games. Now scram, Ya dumb baby! I have to make things right with the softball gods." [does her Cossack dance again] "Hutta-hut! Hutta-hut! Hutta-hut!"

[Back at the Pickles House, Tommy is having more Toasted Cinnamon and reading his comic.] Lil: [with her hair all curled] "Tommy! Are you coming to my charity fashion show? It's for a great cause: oysters without pearls." Angelica: [paranoid] "Lil! No! He'll ruin your fashion show just like he ruined my winning streak! HE'S BAD LUCK!" Tommy: "Oh, come on, Angelica! That is absolutely..." [gets an idea] "...true." [to the viewers] "I think I may be onto something here." [to Lil] "Lil, I'd love to go to your fashion show, but I'd hate for my bad luck to make you trip, or jam a zipper, or break a heel..." Lil: [gasps] "The horror! Maybe you should sit this one out." Tommy: [pretends] "I'll be there in spirit."

[Tommy is turning the TV on.] Announcer: "Next on REPTAR!..." [Dil then shoots Tommy.] Dil: "Hey, T, you coming to my Lazer-Tag match?" Lil: [pulls Dil away from Tommy; paranoid.] "Don't invite Tommy! He could make your lazer gun break, or jam its zipper, or break a heel!" Dil: [confused] "What?" Lil: "He's bad luck." [They turn to him] Tommy: [feigning] "I can't deny it." Dil: "Uh...maybe you shouldn't come after all. I'm fightn' my first 200-pounder alien, and I can't take any chances." [pats his foot] [Now Tommy is talking to Phil who's spraying his hair in a beehive.] Tommy: "Sure, Phil. I'll come to your Show. I just hope my bad luck doesn't make your hair go flat." Phil: [gasps and sprays Tommy away] "GET AWAY FROM ME!" [Tommy is talking to Susie in her komono outfit.] Lincoln: "I'd love to attend your performance. I'm just afraid my bad luck might cause a cherry blossom to explode." Susie: [gasps] "That would put a dent in things!, don't come." [Tommy leaves and is now talking to Harold.] Tommy: "Oh, Harold, I sure would like to come to your play date, but I'd hate for my bad luck to cause a boo-boo." ''[Harold blows a raspberry at Lincoln. He then comes across Bean.]'' Bean: [scoffing] "Pshaw. There's no such thing as bad luck. There's only camp. All else is hooey." [Enter Kimi with her basketball equipment.] Kimi: "Bean literally has a point. You're coming to my tournament, Tommy. This group supports each other." Tommy: "You're right. I'm being silly. Let me get those for ya." [takes Kimi's clubs and pretends to trip.] "Whoa whoa whoa!" [trips over in the bathroom with a lot of clanging going on; comes out with a club dented.] "Whoops!" Kimi: [gasps] "My sand wedge! You are bad luck! You are literally uninvited to my tournament." Bean: "I retract my earlier statement. BACK, YE CURSED WRETCH! And don't even think about attending my lecture series on thermodynamics!" Tommy: [feigning misery] "Aw, man." [smirks to the camera]

[The friends and parents are leaving the house to attend the big outings.] Dil: "Come on, guys. It's time for my Lazer-Tag match." [As soon as they're in the van, Tommy is elated.] Tommy: [gleefully sarcastic] "So sorry to miss it all." [suddenly comes out sliding like in a famous movie scene and starts dancing.] "Who's unlucky? I'm unlucky! Who's unlucky? I'm unlucky!" [reading his comic in his underwear everywhere in the house.] "Tough break, Card Mark. Looks like War Heads just called your bluff!" [drinks milk from the carton and belches; pushes all of his friends' activities off his calendar.] "I gotta say, being bad luck turned out to be pretty good."

[The next day, Tommy's breakfast is out on the coffee table in the living room.] Tommy: "What the? Why is my breakfast on the coffee table?" Didi: "Oh, sorry, sweetheart, but would you mind eating breakfast in the living room today?" Stu: "I've got a big presentation and your mother's got back-to-back root canal patients. We-we can't risk your bad luck spreading to us." [Tommy pours his cereal and turns on the game console.] Tommy: "Just another perk of the bad luck life. Now I can play video games while I eat."

Later that night, the group and parents is getting ready to see a movie.] Didi: "Come on, kids! The movie starts in half an hour!" [The kids come down super excited to see it.] Tommy: "Dibs on holding the popcorn!" [Angelica screams and leaps out of the house in fear.] Stu: "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Not so fast, champ. I wish you could come, but with your bad luck, who knows what could go wrong?" Phil: "The movie could sell out!" Susie: "I could get stuck behind some lady with a beehive!" Bean: "Someone could get scalded with molten butter!" Stu: [gasps] "I didn't even think of that one! Sorry, champ." Tommy: "Oh...no problem. You guys have fun." Lil: "Don't worry. I'll tell you how the movie ends." [Everyone leaves Tommy home alone.] Tommy: "Eh, what's missing one movie when it means having more awesome me time?" [He then starts getting bored and lonely.] Tommy: [dancing miserably] "Who's unlucky? I'm unlucky. Who's unlucky. I'm unlucky." [reading another comic in his underwear in the same spots from before.] "Take that, MASK. War Heads just dealt you some justice." ''[He checks the milk carton and then puts it back; adds another Tommy face on his calendar. He then hear his friends coming home and chatting about how much they enjoyed the movie and sighs.]''

[Later, as he gets ready for bed, he notices that there's something wrong with his door which is now boarded up and bound with hazard tape, and there's a note on it.] Tommy: [reading note] "Sorry, Tommy, but you can't sleep here tonight. We can't just risk it? Are you kidding me?" Friends: "NO!!!" [slam their doors shut] [Tommy goes outside to Spike's doghouse.] Tommy: "Hey, buddy, think I could bunk here for the night?" [Spike growls at him] "You too, Spike?" ''[He looks around for somewhere to sleep. The next day, it's revealed he was sleeping on a pile of leaves with a hedgehog on his head. He shoos the hedgehog away, brushes the leaves off, spits out a bone, shakes more bones out of his pants and goes up to the back door only to find that it's locked.]'' Tommy: "Guys? I think you accidentally locked me out!" [His breakfast is shoved through the doggy door and he peeks through the window on the door.] Didi: "Kids, we've got a special treat for you! Since your father's presentation went so well..." Stu: "And your mother's root canals, too..." Didi: "...we thought we'd celebrate with a trip to the beach tomorrow. [The sisters all cheer and Tommy pops his head through the doggy door.] Tommy: "We're going to the beach tomorrow?" Stu: "Ooh, gosh. Sorry, champ. Not you. Someone could get attacked by a shark." Angelica: "Or caught in a riptide." Susie: "Or stung by a jellyfish." Dil: [gasps] "If that happens, I call peeing on the wound!" Tommy: [dejected] "Come on, you guys! Be reasonable!" Lil: "You're bad luck, Tommy! You can't come!" [closes the doggy door on him] Tommy: "I guess I brought this on myself."

[Tommy approaches the front yard with a megaphone.] Tommy: [into megaphone] "ATTENTION, EVERYONE!" [hears the feedback hiss and fixes it; back into it.] "I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE!" [His family pop up to a window to hear his confession.] Tommy: "CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF, I AM NOT BAD LUCK. I JUST LET YOU GUYS BELIEVE THAT SO I COULD GET OUT OF GOING TO YOUR STUFF. IT WAS A REALLY SELFISH THING TO DO. WE ALL NEED TO SUPPORT EACH OTHER. I'M REALLY SORRY." Mr. Elite: "Nice confession, Pickles!" Angelica: "If you're not bad luck, then how come after I banned you, my team won our doubleheader, and now, we're going to the playoffs? Huh?" Mr. Elite: "She's got you there, Pickles!" Tommy: "COULD YOU PLEASE JUST GO BACK INSIDE?" [Everyone clamors in agreement with Angelica.] Stu: "Sorry, Champ!" Didi: "Sorry, honey!" Stu: "We'll write!" Lil: "Angelica's right, you're bad luck!" Stu: "Step farther away from the house!" [The group closes the curtains thus ending the conversation.] Tommy: "Ugh! Angelica and her superstitions! As long as she thinks I'm bad luck, I'm doomed. I have to find a way to prove her wrong." [shakes some more bones out of his pants.] "Dang hedgehog!" [realizes] "Hedgehog. Hmm..."

''[The baseball playoffs. The group is there to support Angelica. The Hedgehog mascot is dancing a little less energetic than usual.]'' Lil: "What's with that hedgehog today? His choreography is so dated." Mascot: [in a familiar voice] "Hey, man! You try dancing in this heat!" [It's revealed to be Tommy in the runabout costume] Tommy: "My plan is simple: I watch the game in disguise, and when the Hedgehogs win, everyone will see I'm not bad luck." FIVE MINUTES LATER Baseball Announcer: "Talk about bad luck. Everything is going wrong with the Hedgehogs today. What do you think, Pup?" Pup: [downright bored] "I think I've wasted my life." Baseball Announcer: "Just look at our poor hedgehogs!" ''[Eliza takes a swing and flings herself into the MACK and the bat hits her helmet. Two more hedgehogs collide into each other and miss the catch. One Hedgehog tosses the bat right at Tommy by accident. Angelica pitches and the opposing batter hits the ball right back her, knocking her socks, shoes, and hat off and making her spin in mid-air before landing on the ground.]'' Baseball Announcer: "Yowza." [shows the score: Virginia Steak: 3, United States Hedgehogs: nothing.] "Two outs in the bottom of the ninth, and the bases are loaded. Angelica Pickles steps up to the plate, but with the luck she's been having today, the Hedgehogs are looking a whole lot like roadkill." Susie: "Way harsh, dude!" Baseball Announcer: "I think you're rubbing off on me, Pup." Pup: [dully] "Oh, I have that effect on people." Baseball Announcer: "The windup, the pitch." [Angelica swings and misses.] MACK: "Strike one!" Tommy: [scared] "Angelica's right. I am bad luck." [Angelica swings and misses again.] MACK: "Strike two!" Tommy: "Maybe I can move into Bean's fallout shelter. Lead walls will keep my bad luck from affecting anyone." Baseball Announcer: "And the pitch!" [The sound of the ball getting hit by the bat is heard and the rest of Angelica's team runs the remaining bases.] Baseball Announcer: "It's going...it's going...IT'S GONE!!! ANGELICA PICKLES HITS A GRAND SLAM!!! HEDGEHOGS WIN! HEDGEHOGS WIN!" [The group cheers for Angelica as she makes her run around the field.] Baseball Announcer: [clinging to Pup] "HEDGEHOGS WIN! HEDGEHOGS WIN!" [knocks Pup down] [Angelica finishes her run and gets picked up by her group in celebration of her victory.] Family: "CONGRATULATIONS! YOU ROCKED IT, ANGELI-TIKI" [Tommy in disguise joins them.] Lil: [to the mascot] "Um, do you mind, fur ball? This is a family moment." Tommy: "Guys, it's me!" [takes the mask off] "I was here the whole time! This proves it. I'm not bad luck." Angelica: 'Oh my gosh, you're right. Wow, Tommy, I'm really sorry." [The rest of the family apologizes.] Didi: "Sorry we sold all your furniture." Tommy: [shocked] "Wait. What?"

[The beach] Tommy: [to the viewers] "Well, my group doesn't think I'm bad luck anymore. In fact, now they think I'm good luck." Lil: "Hey, Tommy!" [shouting] "Put the head back on before we get stung by a jellyfish!" [The rest of the group is enjoying their time with beach activities.] Tommy: "But unfortunately, only when I'm in the hedgehog suit." [puts the head back on] [An iris with a C-E Note ukelele sound comes on Tommy's exasperated face closes completely with Springs coming out.]