Episode 3: Winter Games

Here we have the third episode of Elijah Eubank the Gaming Critic.

Released in February 11, 2014.

Script
Elijah Eubank: It looks like the 2014 Sochi Winter Olympics have just started. I'm here to a game called Winter Games. Before the Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games franchise, there was a company called Epyx, who made World Games, Jumpman, Summer Games, which even got an sequel, and Winter Games.

First up, the Atari 2600 version. Ok, the graphics look decent, and you play seven sports to compete. Here's the list, take a look! 1. Slalom, 2. Bobsled, 3. Ski Jumping, 4. Speed Skating, 5. Hot Dog Aerials, 6. Biathlon, 7. and Luge. Maybe you can't beat that! Next up, the Atari 7800 version. Holy cowsers! We get an opening cutscene? How long will this go? (Cuts to the gameplay) Alright, a different order of sports. (Cuts to Elijah playing the sports) Overall, this game's mindless, but playable. Maybe you can buy it or rent it.

At last, we have the NES version. Look at the subpar animation sequence, it can't be skipped. Well, darn. That's enough of this. How many sports does this have? (Drops his jaw) What? Four? Only four? (Elijah gets annoyed) Oh boy, I'll deal with four. Now, what's with the name typing? Why four letters? Why not an full name? Maybe do a score for AAAA.

First, bobsled. Man, what's with the animation and graphics? How should I steer this thing? Why? Ok, forget this. Next up, speed skating. Why do I have to rock the D-Pad all the time? The controls are so terrible! Ugh! (Elijah does a Rabbid scream, then calms down) Man, I hate that music. Now for Hot Dog Aerials. Ugh, rocking the D-Pad again? What a horrible thing to have a curse!

Cranky Kong: (Cuts to a clip from Raiders of the Lost Banana) The curse will bring the destruction of the entire island!

Elijah Eubank: (Cuts back to the gameplay) Well, curse you, stupid programmers! (Elijah calms down) Finally, we have Figure Skating. Yikes! The music is torturing my ears! Help! (Rayman covers Elijah's ears with plungers) Oh, thanks, Rayman. Stupid controls, there are so terrible, I said. That's it, I'm gonna throw it out of the window! (Elijah takes out the game from the NES and throws it out of the window) I, I had enough of this junk.