Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday The 13th Part 2

Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday The 13th Part 2 is a 2013 Parody Comedy film and the sequel to the 2000 comedy film, Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday The 13th. The film stars, Kimberly Kardashian, Bobby Campo, Danielle Panabaker, Nick Kroll, Jennifer Carpenter, Alan Rickman, Tony Goldwyn, Tracy Morgan, Norman Reedus, Addy Miller, Denise Richards, Julia Roberts and Mary Winstead.

Tagline
If You Liked Scary Movie 2, You'll Love This.

Plot
Snarky and bigoted science teacher, Professor Franklin sends his class to a mansion known as, Dark House for a week to film a horror movie. They are mentored by several conductors of the house and learn to work with special effects. Martina Martinez meets back up with her ex-boyfriend, Dawson Deery and invites him along. While they start staying at the house, they realize the special effects are turning real and must survive from their deadly tactics. A side from that, a dark entity begins haunting Martina and Dawson while they're alone in a dark room. Martina and Dawson discover that a deadly vendetta against them is stalking them from their past and wants revenge on them and their professor.

Cast
Kimberly Kardashian as Deborah Massmurderer - She's a high school student who is very slutty and bitchy in her own hot ways and she hits on anyone she sees. She is the parody of Theo from The Haunting and Ariel from Dark House.

Bobby Campo as Dawson Deery - He is Martina's ex-boyfriend who survived the Spring Break Massacre with her and is now coming on the trip with Martina and her class. He is the parody of Luke Sanderson from The Haunting and Rudy from Dark House.

Danielle Panabaker as Martina Martinez - She is Dawson's ex-girlfriend who survived the Spring Break Massacre with him and is now going on a haunted fieldtrip with Dawson and her class. She is the parody of Nell Vance from The Haunting and Claire Thompson from Dark House.

Nick Kroll as Ross Fiekelman - He's Professor Franklin's handicapped assistant. He is the parody of Harris from Dark House.

Jennifer Carpenter as Tuesday Nite - She's a high school student who falls in love with the Dark House ghost and becomes his sex partner in fulfilling his life. She is the parody of Mary Lambetta from The Haunting and Lily from Dark House.

Alan Rickman as Professor Franklin/Henry Kane - Professor Franklin is a Highschool professor who takes his students to Dark House to make a horror movie. He is the parody of Dr. David Marrow from The Haunting and Professor Walston Rey from Dark House. Henry Kane is Professor Franklin's evil twin brother and the ghost of Dark House. He is the parody of Henry Kane from Poltergeist.

Tony Goldwyn as Father Darius - He's an exorcist who operates on the Devil. He is the parody of Father Damien Karras from The Exorcist.

Tracy Morgan as Father Hartman - He's Father Darius' assistant who deals in exorcisms but gets too squeemish. He is the parody of Father Lankester Merrin from The Exorcist.

Norman Reedus as Anson - He's Caretaker of Dark House. He's very vulgar but flattering and he has a massive gay crush on Dawson. He is the parody of Mr. Dudley from The Haunting.

Addy Miller as Tiffany Ray - She's one of the ghosts of Dark House who resembles the Tiffany Doll from Child's play 4: Bride Of Chucky.

Denise Richards as Mistress Kane - She's Henry Kane's mistress who haunts Dark House with him.

Julia Roberts as Ms. Compton - She's Ronald Raegan's mother who tries to get help from priests to banish the Demons in her daughter. She is the parody of Chris MacNeil from The Exorcist.

Mary Winstead as Ronald Raegan - She's a young teenage girl who is possessed by Demons. She is the parody of Regan MacNeil from The Exorcist.

Parodies
The Exorcist - Main parody

The Haunting - Main parody

Dark House - Main parody

House On Haunted Hill - The equipment around the house and the ghost's ability to turn his victims into stone

13 Ghosts - The time portal used to send the ghost back to hell and the mansion's machine-like structure

Child's Play 4: Bride Of Chucky - One of the ghosts resembles the Tiffany Doll from Child's Play 4: Bride Of Chucky

Paranormal Entity - A ghost constantly attacks Martina and Dawson in their sleep and drags its victims around the mansion

Hannibal Lecter - Anson wears a face mask and makes skin suits out of his victims

Planet Of The Apes - Professor Franklin brings his group down to a lab that tests on Gorillas and they become possessed

The Fog - Martina and Dawson find a room full of fog with a monster coming out of it

Poltergeist - Tuesday is dragged through a television screen and the name of the Dark House ghost is Henry Kane

Spiderman - Dawson dresses up as Spiderman and flies around the room to save Martina and Deborah from Anson

Final Destination - Martina has a premonition where a cluster of Gorillas attack a group of scientists in the basement and right after, the vision becomes true

Deaths
Father Hartman - As Father Hartman is performing his exorcism on Ronald, he touches her and gets electrocuted

Father Darius - Father Darius witnesses Father Hartman's death and decides to try it for fun and he touches Ronald and gets electrocuted

Ronald Raegan - After Ronald kills Father Hartman and Father Darius, she starts to masturbate and electrocutes herself by accident and blows up

Tuesday Nite - Tuesday is dragged around the mansion by Henry Kane and he drags her through a television screen

Henry Kane - Dawson ties Henry's hands behind his back and pushes him into a portal, sending him to hell

Mistress Kane - Martina karate kicks Mistress Kane into a fireplace

The prologue with a parody of The Exorcist
(Ronald is twisting her head around, possessed in her bed)

Ms. Compton: Ronald, is everything allright up there?

Ronald: Fuck me now mother pig!

Ms. Compton (To herself): Yeah, she's fine.

(Father Darius and Father Hartman arrive at their home)

Ms. Compton: Father Darius?

Father Darius: That's what it says on my underwear.

Ms. Compton: Oh, I'm sorry Father but can your homeboy give us a minute?

Father Hartman: Um, I'm the other priest ma'm.

Ms. Compton: Oh, forgive me G. So are you sure you can help my daughter?

Father Darius: We're gonna try our best ma'm.

(Ronald starts screaming)

Father Darius: Wow, is she having an orgasm?

Ms. Compton: No. I think she's with the demon.

Father Darius: Well, there goes my shot with her.

(Ms. Compton glares at Father Darius)

Father Hartman: May we see the girl?

Ms. Compton: Yes, of course.

Father Hartman: May I use your bathroom first?

Ms. Compton: Yes.

Father Hartman: Thank you. I'll be taking this dirty magazine with me.

(Father Hartman takes the dirty magazine and goes to the bathroom)

(Father Darius knocks on Ronald's door)

Ronald: Mm, are we having a three way now?

Father Darius: Ms. Raegan, I'm here to help you.

Ronald: Don't open that door.

Father Darius: Ma'm, I must come in there.

(Father Darius knocks the door down)

(Ronald is taking a shit in the toilet)

Father Darius: Oh my God, HARTMAN!

(Father Hartman gets done masturbating in the bathroom)

Father Hartman: I'll be right there.

(Father Hartman comes upstairs)

Father Darius: Wow, for a 17 year old pure girl, she sure is horny.

Father Hartman: Just get in there.

(Ronald gets into her bed)

Father Hartman: Let's begin. In the name of The Father, The Son, The Holy Sin, the aliens who think they are God, Jerry Springer, Megan Fox and Jessica Biel. Ah men.

Ronald: Shut up and fuck me now negro.

Father Darius: Alow me.

Father Hartman: Darius, get away from her. Again, for the fathers and the sinners, we hereby...

(Ronald throws up on Father Darius and Father Hartman)

Ronald: Ah, that's better.

Father Darius: That's nothing. Check this out.

(Father Darius forces himself to throw up on Ronald)

(Father Hartman becomes sickened and throws up on Father Darius and Ronald)

Ms. Compton: I shouldn't leave my daughter with men anymore.

(The trio are cleaned off)

Father Hartman: Now, for the ritual.

(Father Hartman touches Ronald and gets electrocuted)

Father Darius: Wow, I wanna try that.

(Father Darius touches Ronald and gets electrocuted)

Ronald: Hm.

(Ronald electrocutes herself while trying to masturbate and blows up)

Martina and Dawson meet back up and tell a flashback of their break up at a school prom
(Martina is walking down a school hall)

Dawson: Martina?

Martina: Dawson?

Dawson: Wow, it's been a long time.

Martina: I know. What are you doing here? I didn't know you went to Anorexia Mountain High School.

Dawson: Yeah, I just transferred two minutes ago.

Deborah: Hey Martina. Can I borrow your notes for Science?

Martina: Oh, to study for the exam?

Deborah: No, to cheat off of them during the exam.

Martina: Sure.

(Martina hands Deborah her notes)

(Dawson stares at Deborah romantically)

(Dawson has a vision of Deborah and Martina wrestling in a mud bath)

Deborah: Is he okay?

Martina: Oh yeah. That's Dawson, my ex.

Deborah: Hi Dawson.

(Dawson starts drooling)

Martina: Say hi, Dawson.

(Dawson mumbles)

Dawson: Hi Dawson.

Deborah: I'm sorry?

Dawson: Oh, I mean hi. I'm Dawson.

Deborah: So why did you two break up?

(The film flashes back to a prom night)

Martina: Isn't this the best prom ever, Dawson?

(Dawson mumbles)

Martina: Dawson?

(Martina sees Dawson looking at a hooker performing on stage)

Martina: Dawson!

Dawson: What?

Martina: Who are you looking at?

Dawson: I'm just taking inventory on the... stage.

Martina: Okay. Well, can you get me some punch?

(Dawson continues to look at the hooker and starts drooling)

Martina: Dawson? Hello.

Dawson: What?

(Martina sighs)

Martina: Punch, please!

Dawson: Um, sure.

(Dawson punches Martina in the face)

Martina: Dawson!

Dawson: You told me to punch you in the face.

Martina: No, get me some punch.

Dawson: You could've said that in the first place, bossy.

(30 minutes later)

Martina (To herself): Dawson, where are you?

(Martina finds Dawson on the stage having sex with the hooker)

Martina: Dawson!

(Martina walks away)

Dawson: Wait, this isn't what it looks like.

Hooker: I'm still getting paid, right?

(Dawson sighs and pays the hooker)

Professor Franklin takes his group to a Gorilla lab
Professor Franklin: And here we have a room ran by none other than Gorillas. Nature's cruel joke.

Deborah: Aw, they're so furry.

Ross (In his head): So, she likes animals.

Professor Franklin: Well, let's move to the other side of the room.

(Deborah stays behind to pet the Gorillas and Ross stays with her)

Ross: So, you like Gorillas?

Deborah: Oh God no. Just the animals.

(Ross stares off confused)

Deborah: Hey little guy.

(Deborah pets one of the Gorillas)

Ross: Yeah, they are cute.

Deborah: Do you wanna hold one?

Ross: Um, sure.

(Ross tries to grab a Gorilla and one of them attacks him and he falls off of his wheelchair)

Deborah: Wow, you're so good with animals.

(Ross tries to fight off the Gorilla)

Deborah (Baby voice): Who's a cute furry little animal. You are.

(The Gorilla bites Ross' neck)

Deborah: Oh jeez.

(Deborah takes the Gorilla off of Ross and he gets back into his wheelchair)

Ross: Thanks. I totally had that.

Martina has a premonition about a cluster of Gorillas attacking a group of scientists
Professor Franklin: And here, we have a group of scietists who are working on a theory. Are animals just like us and deserve to be treated equally with love and care or are they toys that deserve to be shot for fun?

Martina: Um, why are the Gorillas loose.

Scientist: Well, we can't leave harmful animals in cages, stupid.

(Martina has a vision where all of the Gorillas attack the scientists)

Scientist: Ah, it's on my dick.

(A Gorilla bites the scientist's penis off)

Scientist: Ah man, goodbye sex.

Scientist: Hey, come any closer and I'll cut you with, um, my nails.

(A Gorilla rips the scientist's nails off)

Scientist: Fuck this.

(A Gorilla dresses up in a bra to fool a scientist)

Scientist: Well, hello sweetie. Come here often.

(The Gorilla attacks the scientist)

Scientist: Ah man, not again.

(Martina wakes out of her vision)

Dawson: Martina, are you coming?

Martina: Not now Dawson, we have to follow the others.

(Dawson stares off confused)

Dawson: That's not what I meant.

(In the background, the Gorillas attack the scientists)

Anson attacks Martina and Deborah, and Dawson becomes Spiderman to protect them
(Martina finds Anson possessed in the kitchen)

Martina: Anson?

(Ason looks steadily at a wall)

Anson: Yes, my dyke.

Martina: Why are you doing sergery on that doll?

Anson: Oh honey, that's not a doll.

(Martina looks around and sees corpses all over the room)

Martina: Oh my God, are those skin suits on the table?

(Anson turns around wearing a face mask)

Martina: Oh my God. You're a girl?

Anson: What, no I'm wearing someone elses face. Duh.

Deborah: Martina, what's going on?

Martina: It's Anson. He's a transgender. Let's gay bash him.

(Martina and Deborah chase Anson into the cellar)

(Anson attacks the duo)

Martina: Deborah, flying whora.

(Deborah flies into the air using her breasts as air bags and stomps on Anson's head)

(Anson then pokes Deborah in her breast with a pin and pops her breast bags)

(Martina throws a machete at Anson in slow motion and he catches it)

Anson: Should've done fast motion instead.

(Anson walks towards Martina)

Dawson: Hold on Martina.

(Dawson dresses as Spiderman and flies over to help Martina and Deborah)

(Dawson flies in slow motion and Anson throws a Dinosaur bone into his stomach, knocking him down)

Martina: So, now what?

Dawson: Oh. I thought flying in a costume was all it took to be a hero.

(Dawson gets up and elbows Anson in the back and slams his face against a pile of dog feces)

(Anson punches Dawson and flies through the mansion, but gets hit by a plane)

Dawson: No need to thank me, Deborah.

Deborah: Wow, you are so brave Dawson. If you weren't a virgin I would totally blow you.

(Dawson takes off his costume)

Dawson: Oh. Well, that was a big nothing.

Martina and Dawson search around the mansion
(While Martina is sleeping, Dawson throws a stone at her door, but she doesn't wake up)

(Dawson then throws a rock at her door, but she just rolls over)

(Dawson then throws a bolder at her door)

Dawson: Come on Martina.

(Dawson throws a horse through her door, but she continues to sleep)

(Dawson slowly walks in Martina's room and she starts screaming)

Martina: Ahhhhh, who's there?

Dawson: It's just me.

Martina: Oh. Don't sneak up on me like that.

Dawson: Wanna search the mansion?

Martina: What's the magic word?

Dawson: You're a unique rebel that any guy would fuck.

Martina: You forgot one thing.

Dawson: So would a girl.

Martina: Now we can go.

(Martina and Dawson search around)

Dawson: There's nothing here.

(Dead bodies are piled up and blood is all over the walls)

Martina: I know. You'd think there would be corpses and blood everywhere.

(Martina and Dawson find Anson in the kitchen)

Anson: Oh hello youngsters.

(Anson is cutting up a body)

Dawson: Um, hello.

Anson: Oh. how rude of me. I'm Anson, the caretaker. And who are you sexy?

Martina: Um, I'm Martina.

Anson: No, not you. Your friend.

Dawson: Um, I'm Dawson, the sexy friend.

Anson: Nice muscle tone young man. When did you hit puberty, When you were 7?

Dawson: Aw, what a nice, lonely fruit cake.

Martina: We're sorry to bother you. We were just snooping around.

Anson: No trouble, Roswell.

Martina: It's Martina.

Anson: Whatever you say, Dino.

Dawson: Ya know what, we should go.

Anson: Come back any time. I have fruit cake.

Dawson: He was nice.

(The walls creek)

Martina: Dawson, did you here that?

Dawson: Oh, that was me. We had chili for dinner.

Martina: No, not that. That creeking sound.

Dawson: Oh.

(Martina slowly opens a door and a ghost that resembles the Tiffany doll comes out)

Tiffany: Wanna play?

(Tiffany grabs a Parcheesi game board)

Tiffany: I have Parcheesi.

(Martina closes the door)

Dawson: Look at all these pictures.

Martina: They look like they're from the 16th century. Look, there's a picture of Snoop Dog, Chingy and Will-I-Am smoking marijuana.

(Creek sound)

Martina: Dawson, there's that sound again.

(Dawson presses himself against the wall)

Dawson: I don't hear anything now.

Martina: I think it's coming from the wardrobe.

(Dawson opens the wardrobe and several pictures, vases and chairs crush him)

Dawson: Man that was a lot of items in a one-inch wardrobe.

(A chandelier falls on Dawson's head)

(Martina helps Dawson up)

Dawson: Martina, look. It's a secret door.

Martina: What's inside?

(Dawson opens the door)

Martina: Well.

(A group of hookers are having sex with eachother inside the room)

Dawson: Oh my God.

(Dawson records the hookers on his phone)

Martina: What?

(Dawson closes the door)

Dawson: Nothing. Let's move on.

(Dawson has semen on his pants)

Dawson and Martina get haunted in bed by an unseen entity
(Dawson is brushing his teeth with a severed foot)

Dawson: Man, they have awesome toothbrushes here.

(Martina flosses her teeth and vagina with a toe nail)

Martina: Well, they have horrible floss.

(Martina goes to bed)

(Dawson finds hair on his toe brush and screams)

Dawson: Someone should've worn a hair net.

(Something fondles Martina under the covers)

Martina: Dawson, stop it.

Dawson: What?

(Martina looks under the covers)

Martina: Oh, shit.

(Martina gets levitated above her bed and gets thrown against the walls and ceiling)

(Dawson is in the bathroom listening to music on his eyephone)

Martina: Dawson, a little help.

(Dawson continues to listen to his music)

Martina: I think I'm gonna be sick.

(Martina throws up on the demon and he drops her on the bed)

Tuesday is dragged around by the Dark House ghost
(Tuesday is shaving her legs and her door opens)

Tuesday: Is someone there?

(The door closes)

Tuesday: Hello.

(Tuesday is thrown against a mirror)

Tuesday: Wow. Was I just knocked up?

(Tuesday goes into the hallway)

Tuesday: Martina? Dawson?

(Tuesday's door closes)

Tuesday: Hey, open the door.

(The door opens and hits Tuesday in the face)

Tuesday: Ow.

(Tuesday gets up and is dragged around the mansion)

Tuesday: Weeeee.

(Tuesday is slammed against a wall and dragged down the stairs)

Tuesday: Ahh, this is the best invisible ride ever.

(Tuesday is thrown through a window and onto a truck)

Tuesday: Again please.

(The ghost rapes Tuesday)

Tuesday: Oh, wow you're good. You're a ghost so technically this is the first time I've been with a white guy.

(The ghost drags Tuesday into the house and against a television)

Tuesday: Oh baby, let's take this to the porn channel.

(The ghost drags Tuesday through the television screen)

Ross and the ghost fight
(Ross is rolling around the mansion)

Ross: Is anyone there?

(The ghost knocks into him)

Ross: Hey, watch it buddy. I just waxed this chair.

(The ghost knocks Ross out of his chair)

Ross: Okay, let's go.

(Ross wheels his chair into the ghost and crawls away)

(The ghost knocks down pictures and chairs)

Ross: Oh shit.

(The ghost picks Ross up and throws him through a window)

(Ross crawls back in and throws a vase at the ghost)

(The ghost kicks the shards at Ross and they blind him)

Ross: Take that motherfucker.

(The ghost then pushes Ross downstairs)

Ross: Aw man.

(Ross' wheel chair falls down stairs and onto his groin)

(Ross groans in pain)

Martina sends the ghost back to hell and she and Mistress Kane fight
Professor Franklin: Remember, get him on the portal and run.

Martina: Okay.

(A window explodes and the ghost comes down)

(The ghost is revealed to be Professor Franklin's evil twin brother, Henry Kane)

Dawson: Professor, that looks like you.

Prof. Franklin: No. It's Kane, my evil twin brother.

Dawson: Wow. Nice twist.

(Dawson and Prof. Franklin knuckle touch)

Kane: Here I am.

(Kane flies towards Martina)

Martina: Dawson, if I die, I want you to know that I was secretly banging Prof. Franklin for the past 30 days.

Dawson: What?

Martina: What, he's a good kisser.

Prof. Franklin: Thank you. You get an A for French.

(Kane flies through tables and vases before crashing into a fan, and gets thrown through a window)

Martina: Is he gone?

(Kane flies back in and Martina screams)

Kane: Now, you will be mine.

Dawson: Hold on, Martina.

(Dawson ties Kane's hands behind his back and pushes him into the portal, sending him back to hell)

Martina: Wow, that was so brave.

(Mistress Kane comes out and seduces Dawson)

Martina: Dawson, hello.

Dawson: Yeah yeah, go make me a sandwhich or something.

(Martina punches Mistress Kane in the face and the duo fall into a mud bath and start wrestling)

Ross: Cat fight!

(Martina and Mistress Kane begin to wrestle in slow motion without their clothes on)

(Ross knocks on his groin and hears a ding)

Ross: Wow, I can feel irrections for the first time in my life.

(Dawson, Ross and Prof. Franklin knuckle touch)

Martina: Keep your damn hands away from my man.

(Martina karate kicks Mistress Kane into a fireplace)

Martina: What did you think Dawson.

Dawson: Um...

(Dawson sees that Mistress Kane is dead)

Dawson: What the hell. I was watching you the whole time.

(Dawson and Martina kiss)