Clownpiece’s Ridiculous Lunatic Adventures/Gensokyo Idol

[Episode starts with the Clownpiece Allegiance, minus Clownpiece minding their own business]

Ellen: [sitting on the bed playing Bowser's Inside Story] Die, scum! DIE!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Clownpiece: [dashing into the room] Guys! Guess what just happened?!

Ellen: You came to your senses and stopped shouting about Scream03?

Clownpiece: No, unfortunately.

Kogasa: You finished playing Dark Moon?

Clownpiece: I don't have Dark Moon.

Mima: Junko has a huge rash on her butt that she wants to kidnap you to the moon in order to fix?

Clownpiece: Thank GOD no!

Shinki: Makai's been rebuilt?!

Clownpiece: No! Even better!

[Shinki starts weeping]

Clownpiece: We're all the contestants for the next Gensokyo Idol competition! And the winner gets Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon!!

Kogasa: Well, my guess was somewhat correct.

Clownpiece: And it's ''today! ''We gotta go!!

Kurumi: Alright, if it means I can show those Scarlet Devil Mansion dorks who's boss.

[Everyone dashes off, trampling Mima in the process. Cut to Mima in the hospital]

Mima: I HAVE A VENGEANCE FOR THAT LITTLE FAIRY! I REALLY DO! And Shinki, because she wouldn't stop crying.

[Cut to the Gensokyo Idol stage. We hear the crowd cheering and Hatate Himekaidou is onstage]

Hatate: Hello, everyone! It is a PLEASURE to introduce today's contestants: Clownpiece...

Clownpiece: It's lunatic time!

Hatate: Ellen...

Ellen: [distracted with Bowser's Inside Story] CRAP!!! I GOT POISONED!! STUPID POISON-VOMITING PIRANHA PLANT!!

Hatate: Orange...

Orange: Don't underestimate me just because I joined a singing competition! I'll bang, shoot, and pop my competitors away!

Hatate: Kogasa Tatara...

Kogasa: I CAN LICK YOU WITH MY UMBRELLA! I LIKE SLAMMER GHOSTS! OH YEAH!

Hatate: Mima...

Mima: If I don't win, SoEW shall happen all over again!

Hatate: Shinki...

Shinki: [sniffling] Well, maybe I'll get enough budget from this that'll go to the Makai rebuilding fund...

Hatate: And Kurumi!

Kurumi: I'm not going to lose so easily! Once I win, I'll have the funds to destroy the Scarlet Devil Mansion!

Hatate: Let's see who's taking home a recording studio and MILLIONS in cash! Up first is: Clownpiece!

Clownpiece: 🎵White America! I could be one of your kids! White America! little Eric looks just like this! White America! Erica loves my s**t! I go to TRL, look how many hugs I get!🎵

Hatate: You're so obsessed with America. Next!

Ellen: 🎵 CLOWNPIECE, SHE'S A LUNATIC!! HER DANMAKU LEAVES PLAYERS OVERDRAMATIC! SHE HAS A FRIEND NAMED ELLEN WHO'S A GAMING MASTER!! AND A FRIEND NAMED ORANGE WHO'S A 3DS KIDNAPPER! 🎵

Orange: But you stole that 3DS from me!

Hatate: I'm starting to think this one has problems... Next!

Orange: 🎵 Am I just a fool? Blind and stupid for loving you... Am I just a silly girl? So young and naïve to think you were... the one who came to take claim of this heart... cold-hearted, shame you'll remain just a frame in the dark... 🎵

Hatate: [weeping] SO EMOTIONAL!! NEXT, PLEASE! MY EYES ARE BLEEDING WATER!!

Mima: 🎵 Come on and evacuate! Feel the club is heating up! Move on and accelerate, push it to the top! Come on and evacuate! Feel the club is heating up! Move on and accelerate, you don't have to be afraid! 🎵

Hatate: That's more happy! Next!

Shinki: 🎵 Take me for a ride, ride! Oh baby, take me high, high! Let me make you first, first! Oh, make it last all night, night! Take me for a ride, ride! Oh baby, take me high, high! Let me make you first, first! Make it last all niiiiight! 🎵

Hatate: Beautiful! Next!

Kurumi: 🎵 Sexy vampire, I'm falling in love! So just bite me baby, and drink all my blood! 🎵

Hatate: ...That was...perverted, to say the least. Final one!

[Kogasa walks up to the stage, holding Orange's 3DS, which she left in the middle of a cutscene with Have a Nice Talk playing, and the dialog box not clicked out of.]

Kogasa: 🎵 My-y name is Kogasa! I carry around, a tongue-KOing umbrella, and I'm stronger than a slamma! My-y name is Kogasa! I carry around, a tongue-KOing umbrella, and I'm stronger than a slamma! Sit down, and let my, umbrella, lick your face! Don't scream, don't cry, he's as gentle as a shoelace! 🎵

Hatate: That was...[weeps again] beautiful! So much, that I say: KOGASA WINS GENSOKYO IDOL!

Everyone but Kogasa and Hatate: [gasps] WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!

[Crowd ooohs]

Hatate: Yup. There's really no denying it: Kogasa's the winner.

Kurumi: B-but...I WAS SUPPOSED TO WIN!! ME!!! [cries]

Orange: My performance was a million times more emotional than Kogasa's and Ellen's combined!!

Clownpiece: Oh man, apparently umbrellas have more meaning then America now! Society is as dumb as I made it out to be.

Shinki: Oh no, tell me the truth...This is game over for Makai, isn't it?! [weeps silently]

Hatate: And Kogasa, how do you feel?

Kogasa: ...TONGUE KO!!!! [Her umbrella's tongue hits Hatate and a nearby Junko and Hecatia. They are sent flying into the sky.]

[Crowd ooohs again]

Orange: ...So, where's Mima?!

[Mima then twilight sparks the studio, sending the crowd into a panic.]

Mima: I DIDN'T WIN!! I DIDN'T WIN!!! YOU'RE ALL DEAD!! YOU DIE TODAY!!!!

[After a technical difficulties screen, we cut to Kurumi and Clownpiece outside of the studio]

Kurumi: Oh, what's the use?! I'll never beat that Scarlet Devil Mansion in terms of vampire-related success! I'm a failure!!

Clownpiece: Well, it's no wonder you're eating a tub of raspberry ice cream. [We pan down, revealing that Kurumi is indeed eating raspberry ice cream.]

Kurumi: Yup. I'm going to be found in a puddle of tears, ice cream, and vomit. And maybe, they'll feel sorry enough for me that they'll build me a mansion...

Shinki: And I'm going to spend the rest of my days living with you, never seeing any of my Makai friends again!! [pan to a bird's eye view of the studio. Shinki screams the following as the episode ends:] ' MAKAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!! '